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1
00:00:04,704 --> 00:00:07,573
[festive music]
2
00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:09,141
- Ma'am, please.
3
00:00:09,142 --> 00:00:11,276
My son really wants
that Block Stax Space set
4
00:00:11,277 --> 00:00:13,312
for Christmas,
and you got the last one.
5
00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:15,481
I'll give you 50 bucks more
than what you paid for it.
6
00:00:15,482 --> 00:00:18,550
- Sorry, but my husband's
obsessed with Block Stax.
7
00:00:18,551 --> 00:00:22,588
This is the best chance I have
at saving our marriage.
8
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:25,257
- You look like
you could use a pretzel.
9
00:00:25,258 --> 00:00:27,460
- Oh.
- They sell 'em back there.
10
00:00:29,329 --> 00:00:31,630
- Gordo, I know you want
that Block Stax set,
11
00:00:31,631 --> 00:00:34,533
but do you know what I saw
in there that's even cooler?
12
00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:36,669
A Cardi B action figure.
13
00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:38,704
[as Cardi B]
Oww.
14
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:42,508
- Sounds like you want that.
15
00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:45,210
And I'm not worried about
getting that toy,
16
00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:47,880
'cause I can just ask
my favorite old man.
17
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,581
- Thank you, Chance.
That's very sweet.
18
00:00:49,582 --> 00:00:52,718
- Santa!
19
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,319
- Forget that weirded beard-o.
20
00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,722
Santa plays favorites.
21
00:00:56,723 --> 00:01:00,292
- [chuckles awkwardly]
Santa doesn't play favorites.
22
00:01:00,293 --> 00:01:02,428
He loves all children.
23
00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:03,495
- Not if your name is Lopez.
24
00:01:03,496 --> 00:01:07,199
I asked Santa Claus
for the same toy every year.
25
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:09,502
And did I get it?
No!
26
00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:12,338
- What toy?
27
00:01:12,339 --> 00:01:14,306
- Only the greatest toy
of my childhood,
28
00:01:14,307 --> 00:01:17,377
a ventriloquist dummy.
29
00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:22,481
- Were you a child
in the 1920s?
30
00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:23,482
- Santa sucks.
31
00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:26,618
Just ask Steve the reindeer,
who lost his spot
32
00:01:26,619 --> 00:01:28,887
once Rudolph showed up.
33
00:01:28,888 --> 00:01:31,590
Red-nosed kiss ass.
34
00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,392
- Ho, ho, ho.
35
00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:36,261
Santa is a friend to all,
36
00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:39,698
unless you forget to leave out
milk and cookies.
37
00:01:39,699 --> 00:01:41,900
- Yeah, you take one bite
and leave the rest of it there
38
00:01:41,901 --> 00:01:43,435
with your babas behind.
39
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:45,705
It's selfish and wasteful.
40
00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:50,476
- How dare you?
I bike to work, sir.
41
00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:54,346
Security, get this
naughty boy out of here.
42
00:01:54,347 --> 00:01:56,582
- Sir.
- All right.
43
00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:58,517
Hey, Santa,
if you come down my chimney,
44
00:01:58,518 --> 00:02:00,652
I'll be waiting right there,
though, with a baseball bat
45
00:02:00,653 --> 00:02:02,721
because I'm part of
the Eighth Street Elders.
46
00:02:02,722 --> 00:02:05,325
That's not even a gang sign.
That's arthritis.
47
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:10,295
[upbeat saxophone music]
48
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:15,702
{\an8}? ?
49
00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:18,537
[jingle bells ringing]
50
00:02:18,538 --> 00:02:19,405
{\an8}- Nice.
51
00:02:19,406 --> 00:02:21,206
{\an8}- The bells can go
wherever you want.
52
00:02:21,207 --> 00:02:23,575
{\an8}[bells clattering]
53
00:02:23,576 --> 00:02:24,943
{\an8}[sighs]
I was expecting Rosie.
54
00:02:24,944 --> 00:02:26,578
{\an8}She's supposed to
help me decorate.
55
00:02:26,579 --> 00:02:29,682
{\an8}And by "help me," I mean
boss me around till I cry.
56
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,451
{\an8}[chuckles]
57
00:02:32,752 --> 00:02:34,421
{\an8}- I'm here.
58
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:38,390
{\an8}- Oh, good.
59
00:02:38,391 --> 00:02:39,425
{\an8}I-I thought you
might have forgotten
60
00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:40,559
{\an8}we were gonna decorate.
61
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,961
{\an8}- No, I just came to get
some ice cream
62
00:02:42,962 --> 00:02:45,532
{\an8}'cause I ate all of mine
for breakfast.
63
00:02:47,033 --> 00:02:49,301
{\an8}- Rosie, are you feeling OK?
- Yeah.
64
00:02:49,302 --> 00:02:51,537
{\an8}I didn't even know
you owned sweats.
65
00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:54,641
{\an8}But don't get me wrong,
you still look hot.
66
00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,578
{\an8}- Ew.
[sighs]
67
00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:02,548
{\an8}I'm just not into
Christmas this year.
68
00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:04,583
{\an8}This would have been
the week I married Josu�
69
00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:06,785
{\an8}if he hadn't been sneaking
under the mistletoe
70
00:03:06,786 --> 00:03:10,323
{\an8}with every ho, ho, ho in town.
71
00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:13,592
{\an8}- I'm sorry, Rosie,
72
00:03:13,593 --> 00:03:17,296
{\an8}but you are
la reina de Navidad.
73
00:03:17,297 --> 00:03:19,598
{\an8}It is not Christmas
without your decorations.
74
00:03:19,599 --> 00:03:23,370
{\an8}- Well, you've seen them.
Close your eyes and remember.
75
00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:28,273
{\an8}- OK.
76
00:03:28,274 --> 00:03:29,575
{\an8}But the neighbors
haven't seen them,
77
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:33,045
{\an8}and we applied to be the
final Posada house this year.
78
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:36,382
{\an8}- Mm.
I love Posadas.
79
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:39,885
{\an8}Beans, cheese,
a little guacamole.
80
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:42,021
{\an8}[giggles]
81
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:45,024
{\an8}- That's tostadas.
82
00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:47,626
{\an8}Las Posadas are when people
go from house to house,
83
00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:49,828
{\an8}reenacting when Mary
and Joseph were turned away.
84
00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:53,632
{\an8}- Mm, I campaign every year
to be the final house
85
00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:59,038
{\an8}where Jesus is born, and
everyone comes and celebrates,
86
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:01,840
{\an8}but every year,
the church always
87
00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:05,811
{\an8}gives it to that old virgin,
88
00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:08,682
Irma Valdez.
89
00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:13,452
- Wow.
90
00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:15,988
I don't know if you noticed,
but Rosie's depressed.
91
00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:19,692
Do you think I have a shot?
92
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:22,027
- No, we gotta do something to
bring back her Christmas cheer.
93
00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:24,530
It is Chance's
favorite holiday.
94
00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:27,367
- It's official.
Santa sucks!
95
00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:31,370
I'm tapping out
on Christmas this year.
96
00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:33,907
Call me when
Valentine's Day rolls around.
97
00:04:34,660 --> 00:04:36,642
- What happened?
98
00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:38,677
- My dad threatened
to start a gang fight
99
00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:41,648
with Santa in front of Chance
and a bunch of children.
100
00:04:42,515 --> 00:04:45,484
- George, in this house,
we believe love is love,
101
00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:49,788
science is real,
and Santa is magical.
102
00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,590
- And I believe
in protecting Chance
103
00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:53,092
from any disappointment
when he doesn't get
104
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:54,827
the toy that he asked for.
105
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:57,830
- And I believe
in protecting his innocence.
106
00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:59,431
He's nine,
107
00:04:59,432 --> 00:05:00,532
and we don't have
many Christmases left
108
00:05:00,533 --> 00:05:03,102
before he turns into the
biggest scrooge of them all,
109
00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:06,038
a teenager.
110
00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:08,641
Hey, listen up here, vato.
111
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:12,945
If you don't want to spend
Christmas alone in your truck,
112
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:15,114
you'll make Santa magic again.
113
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:17,383
- Why must I solve
every problem
114
00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:19,985
in this family that I create?
115
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:22,488
? ?
116
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:23,757
- I'm here.
117
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:27,493
[sighs]
- Rosie!
118
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,061
I'm glad you decided
to get some Christmas gifts.
119
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:31,063
- Yeah, well, thank goodness
for Prime delivery.
120
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:32,765
I waited till the last minute.
121
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:35,167
- Are you gonna to them?
- No.
122
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:38,705
There's a smile on the box.
That's enough Christmas cheer.
123
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:43,008
I got you beard-growth serum
124
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:46,045
to help you with
your #BeardGoals.
125
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:48,747
- Oh.
Thank you.
126
00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:50,983
You know I've been trying
to daddy up this baby face.
127
00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:53,085
[chuckles]
128
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:54,687
I got something for you too.
129
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,789
Good news.
The church called.
130
00:05:56,790 --> 00:06:00,492
They said, we are going to be
the final Posada house.
131
00:06:00,493 --> 00:06:03,396
- Whose house?
Posada house.
132
00:06:03,966 --> 00:06:06,765
- Well, what happened to Irma?
133
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:08,200
She's hosted
the birth of Jesus
134
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,768
since the actual birth
of Jesus.
135
00:06:09,769 --> 00:06:11,570
- [chuckles]
136
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:15,140
Yeah, Irma can't do it
because she fell down a well.
137
00:06:15,141 --> 00:06:16,942
- A well?
138
00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:20,847
- She's not well.
She is not feeling well.
139
00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:25,584
And now Rosie, la reina,
140
00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:27,486
gets the ultimate honor
141
00:06:27,487 --> 00:06:30,189
bestowed by Our Lady
of Soledad Church.
142
00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:33,493
Hallelujah!
Praise the Lord!
143
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:37,830
- That's great news!
144
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:40,933
I mean, not for Irma,
but that's her problem.
145
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:43,035
Well, out of my way.
146
00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:47,239
La reina's gotta get
her decorations.
147
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,009
Jesus was born
in a pigsty once.
148
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:53,979
I am not gonna let
that happen again.
149
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:56,616
Oh, no.
[laughs]
150
00:06:58,018 --> 00:07:01,553
- It's amazing how Irma's
not feeling well
151
00:07:01,554 --> 00:07:04,056
because she fell down a well.
152
00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:05,257
- I lied.
Irma's fine.
153
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:08,761
- Guess she landed in water.
154
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,662
- No, I lied about us being
the final Posada house
155
00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:12,064
because Rosie
needed cheering up.
156
00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:16,001
- Right? Her friend did
just fall down a well.
157
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:18,070
- No, Oscar.
158
00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:20,205
She-she-
159
00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:21,875
yeah, she's in a well.
160
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,682
- Ho, ho, ho, ho.
161
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:32,751
[as Santa]
Surprise!
162
00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:37,690
It is me, Papi Christmas.
163
00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:42,027
The OG from the NP,
164
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:44,596
here to wish
my favorite family,
165
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:48,068
the Lopezes,
a merry "Chrima' Ee'."
166
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:52,004
- Really?
I thought you didn't like us.
167
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:54,006
- What?
How could you say that?
168
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:56,008
I love you,
169
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:59,111
especially
that little handsome devil,
170
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:02,314
George Lopez.
171
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,982
- Handsome?
172
00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:08,020
I think you mean Mario Lopez.
173
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:11,557
- [with normal voice]
That loco Mario-I mean...
174
00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:13,592
[as Santa]
That loco Mario Lopez,
175
00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:17,896
he's Italian.
176
00:08:17,897 --> 00:08:19,798
- I know it's you, Grandpa.
177
00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:23,636
Santa smells like candy canes,
not hot dog water.
178
00:08:26,373 --> 00:08:27,740
- [gasps]
179
00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:30,275
Is that the real Santa
in my kitchen?
180
00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:32,011
- If you think that's Santa,
181
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,981
you're even more delulu
than Grandpa.
182
00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:37,883
- Damn it, Dad.
183
00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:40,719
Santa doesn't have an accent.
184
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,187
- You don't know that, stupid.
185
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:45,357
[cell phone beeping]
186
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:48,627
- My mommy group chat says the
mall got more Block Stax sets.
187
00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:51,930
Also, there's a flasher
on the food court.
188
00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:54,266
Oh, but it's on the other side
of the mall, so it's fine.
189
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:57,871
- There's a flasher,
yet I'm the one who's banned.
190
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:02,641
- But Santa's not banned.
So keep your suit on.
191
00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:04,143
You're going with me.
- What?
192
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:06,045
- The only way that
we're gonna restore
193
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,981
Christmas magic for Chance is
if you make peace with Santa.
194
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:11,984
- Oh, man.
Do I have to?
195
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,385
- Suck it up!
196
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:16,088
It's time for holiday joy.
197
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:18,991
Chance, get in here.
198
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:21,026
We're gonna go to the mall.
- Oh, man.
199
00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:22,294
Do I have to?
200
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:24,097
- Suck it up!
201
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:28,067
It's time for holiday joys.
202
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,903
[festive music]
203
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,738
- OK.
204
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,039
I'm gonna go in the store
205
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,141
and get Chance's toy,
while you go over there
206
00:09:36,142 --> 00:09:37,910
and show Santa some love.
207
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,079
Chance needs to see you
squash your beef with him.
208
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,414
- Two more things
Santa never brought me-
209
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:46,151
squash and beef.
210
00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:48,254
Both on the list.
211
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:52,391
- God, just let it go, man.
212
00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:55,427
- Come on, Chance.
Let's go say hi to Santa Claus.
213
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,229
Excuse me.
Sorry.
214
00:09:57,230 --> 00:09:58,731
Everybody, excuse me.
Elf inspector.
215
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:01,066
Thank you.
Thank you, young man.
216
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:02,668
Yes, bye.
217
00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:06,006
Ah, see you next year
at the North Pole.
218
00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:10,042
- Ho, ho, ho.
It's another Santa.
219
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:13,213
Don't worry, kids.
It's not weird.
220
00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:15,681
What are you doing, man?
221
00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:20,786
- I just came to say hello
to my best friend, Santa Claus.
222
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,955
- I thought you hated him.
- What!
223
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,857
Santa's my buddy, my guy.
224
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:26,893
My sleigh ride or die.
225
00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:31,330
- I don't even know
who you are.
226
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:32,865
- It's me, man.
227
00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:37,102
Little Georgie Lopez.
228
00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:37,970
Come on, man.
229
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,806
I just need one picture,
sit in your lap,
230
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:44,343
and you can tell everybody
how close we are.
231
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:46,045
- No way, man.
232
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:47,746
- I need you to tell me
you love me.
233
00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:49,014
- [sighs]
234
00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:51,316
Now you sound like
Mrs. Claus.
235
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:54,219
- Tell me!
Say it!
236
00:10:54,220 --> 00:10:55,722
Say it!
237
00:10:56,856 --> 00:11:00,092
- I don't think
he's gonna say it.
238
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:01,393
- Security!
239
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:04,096
The naughty boy is back.
240
00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:07,499
- You're gonna call me out like
that in front of my grandson?
241
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,501
- Is that your grandson?
242
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,304
Then yes.
- Oh.
243
00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:15,374
You mess with the chimney,
you get the smoke.
244
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:17,276
Let's go.
245
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:20,146
- Seriously?
You're gonna shove Santa?
246
00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:24,516
All right.
- Oh.
247
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,385
[both grunting]
248
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,187
No!
249
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,357
[grunting continues]
250
00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:33,793
Ooh, ah!
251
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:38,464
- Ah, ow!
252
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:41,333
- I got your back, Grandpa!
253
00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:45,104
- [grunting]
254
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:47,106
- Dad!
What are you doing!
255
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:49,842
You were supposed to
make peace with him.
256
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:52,178
- It's not my fault.
Blame St. Dickolas.
257
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,514
- Ma'am.
258
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:58,417
- Oh, I am not with him.
259
00:11:58,418 --> 00:11:59,852
- Are you with that toy?
260
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:02,221
Because you didn't pay for it.
261
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,423
- I was going to,
but then I had to run out
262
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:05,891
and break up this fight
between people
263
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,494
that I don't know.
264
00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:10,229
- Nice try.
265
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,263
You're all banned.
266
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:13,065
- I'm already banned.
Burn!
267
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,368
- Let's go.
Let's go.
268
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:19,438
- This ain't over, Santa.
269
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:21,107
Viva la raza!
270
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:32,985
- ? Deck the halls
with Rosie Flores ?
271
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:37,589
? Me-me-me-me-me,
me-me, me-me ?
272
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,258
- ? La reina's back ?
273
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,226
? So sound the chorus ?
274
00:12:41,227 --> 00:12:44,396
? You-you-you-you-you,
you-you, you-you ?
275
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:47,232
- ? Don we now
the decorations ?
276
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:48,500
? Me-me-me-me-me,
me-me, me-me ?
277
00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:52,104
- ? You-you-you-you-you,
you-you, you-you ?
278
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:54,973
[carolers singing in Spanish]
279
00:12:54,974 --> 00:12:57,509
- They're here.
280
00:12:57,510 --> 00:13:00,547
It's Posada time.
Quinten, get the door.
281
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,284
- Hello, innkeeper.
282
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,552
We've traveled
all of Bethlehem,
283
00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:08,320
looking for a place to stay.
284
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,389
Do you have any room?
- Of course.
285
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,624
Come on in.
286
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,860
- Well, thanks anyways.
287
00:13:14,861 --> 00:13:16,862
Wait, you do?
288
00:13:16,863 --> 00:13:18,230
- Hell, yeah, we do!
289
00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:21,100
Get your asses in here!
290
00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:24,870
- Oh, who wants champurrado?
291
00:13:24,871 --> 00:13:26,038
It's spiked.
292
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:29,609
Unlike virgin Irma's
virgin drinks.
293
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:34,279
- Tostadas, tostadas.
294
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:38,051
FYI, these are not
the same as Posadas.
295
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,186
- And this is where
296
00:13:41,187 --> 00:13:46,059
our little Lord Jesus
lays his sweet head.
297
00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:50,896
May I?
298
00:13:50,897 --> 00:13:52,097
Oh, come on.
299
00:13:52,098 --> 00:13:54,433
Hand him over
300
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,269
to me!
301
00:13:59,424 --> 00:14:01,240
[grunts]
302
00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:03,008
- I think
there's been a mistake.
303
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,977
We were supposed
to be turned away.
304
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:06,379
Irma's expecting us.
305
00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:09,381
- Irma fell down a well.
306
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,417
- What?
307
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:12,284
- No, no.
308
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:15,921
He-he means Irma
is not feeling well,
309
00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:17,456
so she asked us to host.
310
00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:20,192
- [sighs in relief]
- Cocktail weenie?
311
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:24,229
[upbeat saxophone music]
312
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:27,566
- What kind of freak
fights Santa Claus?
313
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:29,435
What is up with you?
314
00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:33,038
- I tried to play nice
with Santa in front of Chance,
315
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,506
but I guess
I'm still upset that
316
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:37,009
I never got the gift
or the Christmas
317
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:38,410
that I wanted from Santa.
318
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:41,147
- This can't still be about
a ventriloquist dummy.
319
00:14:43,983 --> 00:14:46,385
- You know why I wanted
a ventriloquist dummy?
320
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,421
- So you didn't have
to go to prom alone?
321
00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:54,059
- I wanted the dummy
so he could say nice things
322
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,662
to me when nobody
in my family would.
323
00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:59,331
I wanted somebody to ask me
what I wanted for Christmas.
324
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:00,532
I wanted to matter.
325
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:04,570
I wanted my mom to show up
on Christmas Eve or Christmas.
326
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,972
She never did.
327
00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:08,240
- I'm really sorry, Dad,
328
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,209
but think of it this way,
329
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:11,744
you get to give Chance
the Christmas memories
330
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:12,978
that you never had.
331
00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:14,513
- Yeah.
332
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:17,750
If I should be mad at anybody,
it shouldn't be Santa.
333
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:20,652
It should be my mom.
334
00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:23,555
Who doesn't show up
for their kid at Christmas?
335
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:27,293
- You for ten years.
- Let it go, man.
336
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:31,730
But you know what?
337
00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:35,501
Nothing will make me happier
than to spend the rest
338
00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:37,703
of my Christmases with you.
339
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:40,240
You're the greatest gift
a father could ever have.
340
00:15:40,241 --> 00:15:43,509
I love you, Mayan.
- I love you too, Daddy.
341
00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:45,278
- Don't touch my hair.
- OK.
342
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:50,282
? ?
343
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:54,420
[upbeat festive music]
344
00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:58,457
- This Posada party is the
best one we've had in years.
345
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:01,660
- Oh, the only thing that
can make this night better
346
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:04,697
is if Irma was
well enough to attend,
347
00:16:04,698 --> 00:16:07,599
so she could see
how much better my party is.
348
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,234
Eh!
349
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:12,339
[knocking on door]
350
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:17,309
- Irma!
So sorry.
351
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,279
No room at the inn.
352
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:22,782
You don't-no.
353
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,552
- Irma!
354
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:28,454
You're OK.
355
00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:31,491
- It's a Christmas miracle!
356
00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:39,298
- Irma, how'd you
get out of the well?
357
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:43,202
Did they pull you up
in a little bucket?
358
00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:44,403
- What well?
359
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:46,338
I've been sitting around
waiting for everyone
360
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,374
to enjoy
my famous virgin cocktails,
361
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:52,111
but instead,
you stole my Posada party.
362
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:54,213
- Irma Valdez,
363
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:57,250
this party was not stolen.
364
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:07,494
Right, Quinten?
365
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,863
- ? Don't forget
I'm marrying your daughter ?
366
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:13,666
? Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la ?
367
00:17:13,667 --> 00:17:15,434
- You lied to me?
368
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:16,669
- He lied to all of us.
369
00:17:16,670 --> 00:17:20,239
He said Irma fell down a well
and/or wasn't feeling well.
370
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,075
It's very unclear.
371
00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:28,548
But everything is
because Joseph is drunk.
372
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:33,419
- I hope you're happy.
373
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:37,122
Because of you,
now I have been the host
374
00:17:37,123 --> 00:17:39,859
of a Posada Robada.
375
00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:46,198
- De nada.
376
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:48,301
[upbeat saxophone music]
377
00:17:49,376 --> 00:17:53,472
- Rosie, I'm-I'm sorry
for lying about the Posada.
378
00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:55,574
I hated seeing you
so depressed.
379
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,910
So, in the spirit of Christmas,
380
00:17:57,911 --> 00:18:02,816
I stole an old virgin's
one day of happiness.
381
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:07,453
- Well,
when you put it like that,
382
00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:09,789
you make it very hard
to be mad at you.
383
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,625
[sighs]
384
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:18,330
As nice as it's been
to have a distraction,
385
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:21,767
I think I just need time
to get over Josu�
386
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:25,372
and grieve the life that I
thought we would have together.
387
00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:30,743
Two very attractive people
in our sexual prime.
388
00:18:30,744 --> 00:18:32,479
- OK.
389
00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:36,448
[upbeat saxophone music]
390
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:39,185
- Santa got me pajamas.
391
00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:44,591
Ooh, I'm gonna use these.
392
00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:51,230
- Sorry Santa couldn't get you
the Block Stax set
393
00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:52,631
you wanted this Christmas.
394
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:53,832
- It's not your fault.
395
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,701
It's the fault
of the toy companies
396
00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:58,505
creating manufactured scarcity.
397
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:03,909
Hello!
I'm in the gifted class.
398
00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:05,678
[knocking on door]
399
00:19:05,679 --> 00:19:07,614
- I wonder who that could be.
400
00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:12,418
Oh!
- Ho, ho, ho.
401
00:19:12,419 --> 00:19:14,554
Merry Christmas.
402
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,623
- Santa!
403
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,825
Back for more, I see.
- No! Hey, hey, no!
404
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,428
- No!
405
00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:24,229
- We made up.
- You did?
406
00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:26,865
- Yep, turns out Santa and I
have a lot in common.
407
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:29,635
We both bring things
into people's houses.
408
00:19:29,636 --> 00:19:32,304
We both love cookies.
409
00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:33,806
We're both alcoholics.
410
00:19:33,807 --> 00:19:35,674
Both...
[speaking Spanish]
411
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,643
Ho, ho, ho-
- OK, all right.
412
00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:40,679
Glad you're getting along.
413
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,015
- I hope it's OK,
but I brought a few gifts
414
00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:45,617
for the Lopez family.
415
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:47,721
- Oh, that's nice, Santa.
416
00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:52,858
- A Block Stax Space set!
417
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:55,562
I knew those pajamas
were a joke.
418
00:19:57,330 --> 00:20:00,566
I'm sorry for hitting you with
that giant candy cane, Santa.
419
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:01,967
- It's OK.
420
00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:06,338
Mrs. Claus hit me with
a lot worse this Christmas-
421
00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:09,308
divorce papers.
- Oh!
422
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:10,976
- I know you hear this
from a lot of kids,
423
00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:13,480
but I love you, Santa.
424
00:20:13,481 --> 00:20:17,516
- Hey, Santa, thanks
for agreeing to come over.
425
00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:19,385
It made my
grandson's Christmas.
426
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:21,320
- I'm not just here for him.
427
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:23,822
I'm here for you too.
428
00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:25,025
- Aw, Santa.
429
00:20:27,027 --> 00:20:28,994
Thank you.
430
00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:30,930
Gimme, gimme, gimme!
431
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,501
- Merry Christmas.
432
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,436
- Oh.
- Oh.
433
00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:40,040
- [screams joyfully]
434
00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:43,709
Ronnie!
435
00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:46,478
[screams joyfully]
436
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:49,748
- What in the "Chucky" is that?
437
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:51,583
- [with silly, raspy voice]
I'm the ventriloquist doll
438
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:55,320
that George always wanted.
439
00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:58,323
Can you give me a hug, please?
440
00:20:58,324 --> 00:21:00,560
{\an8}- [screams]
441
00:21:02,996 --> 00:21:05,798
{\an8}- Mayan, did you
help Santa pick out
442
00:21:05,799 --> 00:21:08,701
{\an8}that present for your dad?
- No.
443
00:21:08,702 --> 00:21:11,637
{\an8}You really think I'd want
that creepy thing in my house?
444
00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:13,105
{\an8}- I mean, how did he know?
445
00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:15,808
{\an8}- You told him in all those
letters you wrote him
446
00:21:15,809 --> 00:21:17,376
{\an8}back when you were a kid.
447
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:19,646
{\an8}- I guess Santa does love me.
448
00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:24,544
{\an8}- [with silly, raspy voice]
And I love you, too, George.
449
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,554
{\an8}[screams]
450
00:21:27,604 --> 00:21:32,154
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