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1
00:00:02,273 --> 00:00:04,574
All right,
so we have to remember H5.
2
00:00:04,642 --> 00:00:06,276
Okay. Uh, oh.
3
00:00:06,344 --> 00:00:07,644
I got it. High five.
4
00:00:07,711 --> 00:00:08,688
Oh, I see. Oh, that's good.
5
00:00:08,778 --> 00:00:09,945
I see what you're trying
to do there.
6
00:00:09,976 --> 00:00:11,502
You're trying to figure out
a mnemonic device.
7
00:00:11,682 --> 00:00:13,016
- Yeah, trying.
- Okay. High fives
8
00:00:13,184 --> 00:00:14,784
came out in the '70s.
9
00:00:14,852 --> 00:00:16,419
That's when they were invented,
that's a 7.
10
00:00:16,486 --> 00:00:17,719
Yeah.
11
00:00:17,787 --> 00:00:18,921
- There's two of us.
- So why are you--
12
00:00:18,988 --> 00:00:20,574
So if you subtract 2 from 7,
that's 5.
13
00:00:20,610 --> 00:00:22,058
Okay, great. So you got it.
So um...
14
00:00:22,125 --> 00:00:24,527
And then, um,
there's five major food groups.
15
00:00:24,594 --> 00:00:25,661
Why are you going on?
16
00:00:25,728 --> 00:00:26,995
Oh, no.
You're gonna love this.
17
00:00:27,064 --> 00:00:28,197
This is fun for me
'cause it's a puzzle.
18
00:00:28,265 --> 00:00:29,565
No puzzle.
19
00:00:29,632 --> 00:00:30,999
Five major food groups.
20
00:00:31,068 --> 00:00:34,103
There is meat, vegetables,
grain, dairy, and fruit.
21
00:00:34,171 --> 00:00:35,271
Oh. My God.
Okay.
22
00:00:35,338 --> 00:00:36,605
My favorite fruit
is pineapple.
23
00:00:36,673 --> 00:00:37,905
But you know that
we got it already, so...
24
00:00:37,973 --> 00:00:40,241
- Pineapple comes from Hawaii.
- Okay.
25
00:00:40,309 --> 00:00:41,576
And oh, oh,
26
00:00:41,643 --> 00:00:44,446
My favorite current show
is Hawaii Five-0.
27
00:00:44,513 --> 00:00:46,481
Hawaii Five-0.
Okay, so that's it. Done.
28
00:00:46,549 --> 00:00:47,982
- We're done. Hawaii Five-0.
- Yeah.
29
00:00:48,050 --> 00:00:50,885
Ooh, ooh, and Scott Caan
is the star of Hawaii Five-0.
30
00:00:50,953 --> 00:00:52,386
Scott Caan? We're really
talking about Scott Caan now?
31
00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:53,754
And his father is James Caan,
32
00:00:53,822 --> 00:00:56,091
who's one of
the five major stars of the--
33
00:00:56,158 --> 00:00:57,625
What's wrong with you?
34
00:00:57,693 --> 00:01:00,561
One of the five major
huge stars, "h," right?
35
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:01,962
Of The Godfather movies.
36
00:01:02,029 --> 00:01:05,813
So it's Caan, Pacino,
Brando, Duvall, and um...
37
00:01:05,870 --> 00:01:07,134
I don't even know
why you're doing this.
38
00:01:07,202 --> 00:01:08,135
- Oh...
- Diane Keaton.
39
00:01:08,203 --> 00:01:09,636
Diane Keaton, yes. Thank you.
40
00:01:09,704 --> 00:01:11,371
And it's easy to remember
her name 'cause her name
41
00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:13,840
is the same last name as Buster
Keaton and Michael Keaton.
42
00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:14,774
But-- No-- Okay. We're just
going through this now.
43
00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:15,875
Both comedians,
44
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:17,043
and when you laugh,
45
00:01:17,112 --> 00:01:18,412
- you say "ha."
- Stop.
46
00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:19,413
Stop.
Stop.
47
00:01:19,481 --> 00:01:20,313
- "Ha-Ha."
- Stop. Stop.
48
00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:21,581
Stop! Stop!
49
00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:23,483
You see what you're doing?
50
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,018
You're overcomplicating
the whole thing.
51
00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:26,319
We already had it.
52
00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:28,254
You're just making
it more difficult,
53
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:29,322
Just like you do everything.
54
00:01:29,389 --> 00:01:32,358
I left my phone in the car.
55
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:35,361
Which... is... Wait, hold up.
56
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:38,064
A dap... No, it was handshake...
57
00:01:38,132 --> 00:01:40,166
No, I got it.
I got it. I got it. Ha.
58
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:41,934
Buster Keaton and Michael Keaton
have the same last name
59
00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:44,336
as Diane Keaton
who's one of the five huge stars
60
00:01:44,403 --> 00:01:45,470
on The Godfather movies...
61
00:01:45,538 --> 00:01:46,571
No. No--no--no.
But I got it.
62
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,707
It's Keaton, Brando,
Duvall, Pacino,
63
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:49,975
- and James Caan...
- Oh, okay.
64
00:01:49,976 --> 00:01:50,976
who's the father
of Scott Caan,
65
00:01:51,044 --> 00:01:52,611
who's the star of Hawaii Five-0.
66
00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:54,113
Hawaii, pineapple,
67
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:55,480
- pineapple's my favorite fruit...
- No-- No-- No-- No-- No-- No.
68
00:01:55,548 --> 00:01:56,348
- Five major food groups...
- No, you can't--
69
00:01:56,415 --> 00:01:57,549
There's two of us.
70
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:58,884
- 5 plus 2 is 7...
- Wait, wait... So...
71
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,520
That's the '70s when
high fives were invented, H5.
72
00:02:01,587 --> 00:02:02,654
High five! High five!
73
00:02:02,721 --> 00:02:05,472
I had it!
Damn!
74
00:02:27,585 --> 00:02:30,331
Sync & corrections by dwigt
75
00:02:30,715 --> 00:02:34,484
Explain to me your current
health care regiment.
76
00:02:34,552 --> 00:02:37,520
I mean, your current physical--
77
00:02:37,588 --> 00:02:38,889
I do-- Here's what it is.
78
00:02:38,956 --> 00:02:42,425
Aerobics is
like slow steady-state cardio
79
00:02:42,493 --> 00:02:45,128
and what I do is, like,
interval cardio.
80
00:02:45,196 --> 00:02:46,276
So you're doing it all day?
81
00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:48,331
20 minutes.
82
00:02:48,399 --> 00:02:49,999
- Oh.
- Like, 20 minutes a day.
83
00:02:50,067 --> 00:02:51,466
You could do it.
84
00:02:51,534 --> 00:02:53,494
What you do mean when you
say, "You could do it,"?
85
00:02:53,536 --> 00:02:54,870
Like, you dropped "You."
86
00:02:54,938 --> 00:02:56,105
20 minutes. I mean... I admit,
I did-- Okay.
87
00:02:56,173 --> 00:02:57,039
Why would you emphasize "you"
like that?
88
00:02:57,107 --> 00:02:58,507
I'm just saying...
89
00:02:58,575 --> 00:02:59,909
- Of course I could do it.
- Of course you could it.
90
00:02:59,976 --> 00:03:02,244
I mean, it'd take a little while
for you get into it.
91
00:03:02,312 --> 00:03:03,345
But you could do it.
92
00:03:03,413 --> 00:03:05,181
I'm an athletic,
spry young man.
93
00:03:05,248 --> 00:03:06,315
Of course I could do it.
94
00:03:06,382 --> 00:03:07,416
I played soccer, bro.
95
00:03:18,293 --> 00:03:20,241
Live from the Nestlé Arena,
96
00:03:20,461 --> 00:03:21,913
Welcome to the finals
97
00:03:21,914 --> 00:03:25,138
of 1987 Jazz Fit Championships.
98
00:03:26,335 --> 00:03:30,004
Representing the Body Shop
from Hollywood, California,
99
00:03:30,072 --> 00:03:31,655
Flash.
100
00:03:37,212 --> 00:03:39,547
And from the Skin Shop
in Detroit, Michigan,
101
00:03:39,615 --> 00:03:40,548
Lightning.
102
00:06:32,815 --> 00:06:34,149
You son of a bitch!
103
00:06:34,217 --> 00:06:35,483
You motherfucker!
104
00:06:35,551 --> 00:06:38,707
You crazy sick fuck!
105
00:06:39,060 --> 00:06:40,027
Let me at him!
106
00:06:40,073 --> 00:06:41,318
I'm gonna kill you.
107
00:06:41,391 --> 00:06:44,926
Let me at--
you motherfucker!
108
00:06:50,364 --> 00:06:53,132
If you and I were in
just a tag team fight
109
00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:57,836
and there was a couple of
your average street riffraff.
110
00:06:57,904 --> 00:06:58,971
Some rapscallions?
111
00:06:59,039 --> 00:06:59,905
Well,
how do you think we'd do?
112
00:06:59,973 --> 00:07:01,053
Now, when you say tag team,
113
00:07:01,075 --> 00:07:02,308
you're not talking
about one of us
114
00:07:02,376 --> 00:07:03,976
scrapping with three dudes
and tagging out.
115
00:07:04,044 --> 00:07:05,678
You're talking about
if we were just together--
116
00:07:05,745 --> 00:07:06,749
Blip, blip.
117
00:07:06,774 --> 00:07:08,047
If we just together
blippin' it, slippin' it,
118
00:07:08,114 --> 00:07:09,381
crashin' it, slappin' it. Yeah.
119
00:07:09,449 --> 00:07:10,716
Street rules.
Kick 'em in the crotch.
120
00:07:10,784 --> 00:07:12,384
If-- Do we get a good--
Do we get a weapon?
121
00:07:12,452 --> 00:07:14,053
Let's say no.
122
00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:15,821
- Average sized guys.
- So bigger than us.
123
00:07:15,889 --> 00:07:19,524
Dude, I think if we went
hog wild on them, we'd be okay.
124
00:07:19,593 --> 00:07:21,594
Like, if we just went crazy
and lost our minds.
125
00:07:21,661 --> 00:07:23,662
I mean, if I was beating a dude
and pissing myself
126
00:07:23,730 --> 00:07:26,090
at the same time, that's okay
as long as I'm making contact.
127
00:07:29,235 --> 00:07:31,368
It turns out
it wasn't a ghost at all.
128
00:07:31,436 --> 00:07:34,305
It was my little sister hiding
in the basement!
129
00:07:34,372 --> 00:07:37,875
And she was goin' "Boo"
and making the noises
130
00:07:37,943 --> 00:07:39,510
the whole time, so...
131
00:07:47,953 --> 00:07:50,154
Oh, shoot.
I forgot his juice boxes.
132
00:07:50,222 --> 00:07:51,878
- Oh.
- I will be right back.
133
00:07:52,034 --> 00:07:53,186
You'll be all right
with Zachary?
134
00:07:53,210 --> 00:07:54,218
- I think so.
- Okay.
135
00:07:58,053 --> 00:08:00,415
So, Zachary...
136
00:08:03,001 --> 00:08:05,902
You know I'm, uh, gonna be
marrying you mother
137
00:08:05,970 --> 00:08:08,371
and, uh,
I'm gonna be moving in soon
138
00:08:08,439 --> 00:08:10,907
and I just...
139
00:08:10,975 --> 00:08:14,944
I'm so excited
to spend more time with you.
140
00:08:17,448 --> 00:08:18,972
You know, I know
141
00:08:20,394 --> 00:08:22,394
that you had a hard time
with your father
142
00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:26,552
and he spanked you
and, you know,
143
00:08:27,625 --> 00:08:29,332
I just want you to know
144
00:08:30,014 --> 00:08:32,014
that's not gonna happen with me.
145
00:08:32,696 --> 00:08:33,795
Okay?
146
00:08:33,863 --> 00:08:37,244
And I promise I
will never spank you.
147
00:08:38,934 --> 00:08:41,628
Okay. That's...
148
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:44,233
Okay.
149
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:46,116
Um...
150
00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:49,508
I know why you did that.
151
00:08:50,668 --> 00:08:53,846
But I will never spank you
because
152
00:08:54,099 --> 00:08:56,144
I know that you still--
153
00:08:56,351 --> 00:08:58,221
Oh! That's--
154
00:09:00,989 --> 00:09:02,111
Ow.
155
00:09:03,138 --> 00:09:04,371
I don't know that there's
156
00:09:04,722 --> 00:09:07,991
anything I did to deserve that--
Okay.
157
00:09:08,024 --> 00:09:09,268
This...
158
00:09:11,931 --> 00:09:14,001
You... Okay.
159
00:09:14,069 --> 00:09:17,036
Mm. I'ma be real with you.
160
00:09:17,104 --> 00:09:19,172
You can't go hittin' people.
161
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:21,140
All ri-- Oh! Oh! Oh!
162
00:09:21,209 --> 00:09:24,249
I ain't coming back
for that fourth one.
163
00:09:27,081 --> 00:09:28,415
All right. So we done?
164
00:09:28,482 --> 00:09:30,083
We got that out of our system?
165
00:09:30,150 --> 00:09:33,180
'Cause I know that this...
166
00:09:34,054 --> 00:09:36,789
this isn't you.
Oh!
167
00:09:36,917 --> 00:09:40,865
I told you-- Uh! Oh! Oh! Come on!
168
00:09:41,095 --> 00:09:44,097
This... Oh! Oh! Oh!
169
00:09:44,164 --> 00:09:46,465
This... You...
Ugh! Ugh! Why!
170
00:09:46,533 --> 00:09:47,700
- Fast.
- Oh what?
171
00:09:47,768 --> 00:09:49,268
Ooh! Ugh! Oh!
172
00:09:49,336 --> 00:09:51,704
That's unbelievable.
173
00:09:51,772 --> 00:09:54,289
Why-- What did I do?
174
00:09:54,875 --> 00:09:56,174
I'm the good guy.
175
00:09:56,243 --> 00:09:59,878
I'm-- I'm the good guy, man.
176
00:10:03,516 --> 00:10:05,884
Look.
177
00:10:05,952 --> 00:10:07,246
I'm never gonna spank you.
178
00:10:08,514 --> 00:10:10,404
I'm not gonna be
like your father.
179
00:10:12,158 --> 00:10:13,457
I'm gonna be your friend.
180
00:10:18,498 --> 00:10:20,398
You need to respect me!
181
00:10:20,466 --> 00:10:23,578
You understand?
You little shit!
182
00:10:39,752 --> 00:10:42,657
I will respect you, Charles.
183
00:10:43,922 --> 00:10:46,257
If you play your role.
184
00:10:46,324 --> 00:10:47,675
Now, listen up...
185
00:10:48,927 --> 00:10:51,260
I'm a bad, bad boy, Charles.
186
00:10:53,198 --> 00:10:55,862
I don't need a fucking friend.
187
00:10:57,202 --> 00:10:59,036
So go ahead.
Marry my mommy.
188
00:10:59,104 --> 00:11:00,337
Move in.
189
00:11:00,405 --> 00:11:02,806
Fuck her as hard as you want.
190
00:11:02,873 --> 00:11:04,704
Just leave me the fuck alone.
191
00:11:06,911 --> 00:11:10,057
You do that, 11 years from now,
192
00:11:10,119 --> 00:11:11,752
I'll be out of the house
193
00:11:11,857 --> 00:11:14,343
and we won't have any problems.
194
00:11:15,620 --> 00:11:17,002
You don't...
195
00:11:18,022 --> 00:11:22,131
and I will break you.
196
00:11:23,994 --> 00:11:26,065
Okay, Charles?
197
00:11:29,867 --> 00:11:31,201
How are we doing?
198
00:11:31,268 --> 00:11:32,895
I love him!
199
00:11:39,919 --> 00:11:41,854
So the other thing
I'm thinking is maybe
200
00:11:41,921 --> 00:11:44,156
with the plasma bolts, instead
of going the traditional way
201
00:11:44,224 --> 00:11:46,285
and having them actually
emanating from his hands,
202
00:11:46,565 --> 00:11:48,666
What if they came
from his aura?
203
00:11:48,677 --> 00:11:50,512
- They just came--
- Uh, he's here.
204
00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:51,667
Oh, God. Thank you.
205
00:11:51,735 --> 00:11:53,663
Guys, this is so exciting.
206
00:11:54,411 --> 00:11:57,272
Marvel legend Stan Lee
calls me on the phone
207
00:11:57,340 --> 00:12:00,675
a couple of weeks ago
and says, "I'd like to stop by."
208
00:12:00,743 --> 00:12:02,944
So I just thought that'd be
a great treat so he's--
209
00:12:02,974 --> 00:12:04,513
Excelsior!
210
00:12:04,581 --> 00:12:06,948
- Hey! Mr. Lee!
- All right.
211
00:12:07,016 --> 00:12:08,183
All right.
Sit down, sit down.
212
00:12:08,251 --> 00:12:09,585
Let's get going.
213
00:12:09,652 --> 00:12:11,120
Oh, you're here
to pitch us some characters?
214
00:12:11,187 --> 00:12:14,523
You bet your bottom dollar
I have.
215
00:12:14,624 --> 00:12:16,291
All right, let's see here.
216
00:12:16,359 --> 00:12:21,895
We got to...
217
00:12:21,963 --> 00:12:23,498
Easel work's
a little bit rusty.
218
00:12:23,565 --> 00:12:25,500
Don't touch that.
219
00:12:25,567 --> 00:12:29,470
Okay. Introducing...
220
00:12:29,538 --> 00:12:31,606
Heyday.
221
00:12:31,673 --> 00:12:35,606
He lives perpetually
in his best year: 1982.
222
00:12:35,948 --> 00:12:39,617
His nemesis is
the evil writer's block.
223
00:12:39,848 --> 00:12:42,983
He'll live forever as long
as he continues to come up
224
00:12:43,051 --> 00:12:46,820
with great, interesting,
and relevant ideas.
225
00:12:52,293 --> 00:12:53,761
Well, that got nothing.
226
00:12:53,828 --> 00:12:55,195
Mr. Lee,
I just-- I just feel, you know,
227
00:12:55,263 --> 00:12:56,703
we're really busy this morning,
you--
228
00:12:56,731 --> 00:12:59,733
Uh-uh-uh-uh, this ain't
my first rodeo, sonny boy.
229
00:12:59,801 --> 00:13:01,301
I got a million of 'em.
230
00:13:01,369 --> 00:13:03,670
All right.
231
00:13:03,737 --> 00:13:05,872
Dr. Balance.
232
00:13:05,939 --> 00:13:08,741
He's an aging robotics scientist
233
00:13:08,809 --> 00:13:12,279
who never slips and falls
in the shower.
234
00:13:12,346 --> 00:13:14,481
It's where am I, man?
235
00:13:14,549 --> 00:13:18,318
No matter how late at night
he gets up to go number one,
236
00:13:18,386 --> 00:13:22,055
He always knows exactly
where he is.
237
00:13:22,122 --> 00:13:23,622
Thermostatro.
238
00:13:23,691 --> 00:13:26,793
He has the power
to control any thermostat,
239
00:13:26,860 --> 00:13:29,162
which means
he never has to be tormented
240
00:13:29,229 --> 00:13:32,327
by any suddenly cold spots.
241
00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:33,631
Techno.
242
00:13:33,667 --> 00:13:36,669
He understands how to control
any technological device.
243
00:13:36,837 --> 00:13:39,703
Things like the computer
or the little hand computer.
244
00:13:40,373 --> 00:13:42,408
Road Rage.
245
00:13:42,475 --> 00:13:45,744
He gets behind innocent drivers
on the thoroughfare
246
00:13:45,812 --> 00:13:48,914
on their way home
from the doctor's office
247
00:13:49,015 --> 00:13:51,750
and he leans
on his radioactive horn
248
00:13:51,818 --> 00:13:55,921
And they say "Hey! Come on,
get off of my bumper, hot rod!
249
00:13:55,988 --> 00:13:59,624
We're goin' as fast as we can!"
250
00:13:59,692 --> 00:14:01,379
Where'd you guys come from?
251
00:14:03,763 --> 00:14:06,496
Oh, yeah.
Here's the Gray Chaser.
252
00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:11,468
Her special powers are
she's 40, has no kids,
253
00:14:11,536 --> 00:14:13,637
and she's got a rockin' hot bod.
254
00:14:13,705 --> 00:14:16,473
She's only into older dudes
with ponytails and liver spots.
255
00:14:16,541 --> 00:14:17,875
Homestead.
256
00:14:17,943 --> 00:14:19,643
He's got the mutant ability
to force
257
00:14:19,711 --> 00:14:22,979
any of his busy adult children
to come visit for a change.
258
00:14:23,047 --> 00:14:24,848
I mean, would it kill you
to pick up a phone?
259
00:14:24,915 --> 00:14:26,950
How 'bout an evil villain, huh?
260
00:14:27,017 --> 00:14:29,353
The Overweight Jamaican Maid.
261
00:14:29,420 --> 00:14:32,689
Also known as Jamila!
262
00:14:32,757 --> 00:14:37,728
She steals things.
263
00:14:37,795 --> 00:14:39,730
Mr. Lee,
I'm-- I'm-- I'm so sorry.
264
00:14:39,797 --> 00:14:44,567
Just, with all due respect,
I-I don't think that, uh...
265
00:14:46,470 --> 00:14:50,039
I don't think that we could use
any of these characters.
266
00:14:50,107 --> 00:14:51,741
Oh.
267
00:14:51,809 --> 00:14:54,744
So say the room?
268
00:14:54,812 --> 00:14:56,312
- Yes.
- Yeah.
269
00:14:56,380 --> 00:15:00,016
Oh.
270
00:15:00,084 --> 00:15:02,852
No, I-I-I understand.
271
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:05,288
Don't mind me.
272
00:15:05,355 --> 00:15:09,292
Sometimes you're just
shooting blanks.
273
00:15:09,359 --> 00:15:10,493
I know when I'm not wanted.
274
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:13,529
Just... toss the rest of 'em
275
00:15:13,597 --> 00:15:16,064
in the, uh, trash compactor
or whatever ya got these days.
276
00:15:16,132 --> 00:15:17,232
It was a real honor, sir,
to have you.
277
00:15:17,301 --> 00:15:18,267
Ah.
278
00:15:21,805 --> 00:15:25,408
Eureka.
279
00:15:25,475 --> 00:15:28,544
I've just been inspired.
280
00:15:28,612 --> 00:15:31,947
Now, this is a superhero team,
281
00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:36,358
A ragtag group of
multiethnics known as...
282
00:15:37,253 --> 00:15:39,955
The Fired Bunch.
283
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:42,524
They possess
the testicular fortitude
284
00:15:42,591 --> 00:15:45,327
to bite the very hand
that feeds them
285
00:15:45,394 --> 00:15:47,062
and are cursed
to walk the streets
286
00:15:47,130 --> 00:15:50,065
for an eternity unemployed.
287
00:15:52,468 --> 00:15:56,371
What do you think?
288
00:15:56,439 --> 00:15:59,106
We love it!
289
00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:06,080
- Excelsior!
- Excelsior!
290
00:16:10,823 --> 00:16:12,120
So what's the worst job
you ever had?
291
00:16:12,187 --> 00:16:15,882
Worst job I ever had...
292
00:16:16,447 --> 00:16:19,961
Man. It sucked working
for that coffee shop.
293
00:16:20,028 --> 00:16:21,194
Oh, that barista situation.
294
00:16:21,228 --> 00:16:22,768
Talkin' 'bout barista.
295
00:16:23,131 --> 00:16:25,733
People be coming in
for coffee in the morning.
296
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:27,614
Let me tell you something.
They're not happy.
297
00:16:27,648 --> 00:16:29,107
- They haven't had their...
- coffee yet.
298
00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:30,070
Right, right, right.
299
00:16:30,138 --> 00:16:31,745
People
are just talkin' 'bout...
300
00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:35,008
Being a barista,
301
00:16:35,076 --> 00:16:39,413
it was, like, it was a meeting of
worlds 'cause you had Clarence,
302
00:16:39,481 --> 00:16:41,448
my man was one of them baristas
who was from,
303
00:16:41,516 --> 00:16:42,949
- like the South Side.
- Yeah, yeah.
304
00:16:43,017 --> 00:16:44,618
And then you had, like,
305
00:16:44,686 --> 00:16:49,189
Sarah was, like, you know, she
was like, the m-- the manager.
306
00:16:49,257 --> 00:16:52,793
The m-middle manager
and she was like, "You guys,
307
00:16:52,860 --> 00:16:57,530
"We really-- We really need to put
the whipped cream can-- canisters
308
00:16:57,598 --> 00:17:00,300
"back where we got them."
309
00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:01,634
And just,
310
00:17:01,702 --> 00:17:03,369
- I mean, middle managers.
- Yeah.
311
00:17:03,437 --> 00:17:05,738
They are killing me.
312
00:17:05,806 --> 00:17:09,509
Like, they are holding
some status over you
313
00:17:09,576 --> 00:17:11,177
that you
desperately want their job.
314
00:17:11,244 --> 00:17:12,077
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
315
00:17:12,145 --> 00:17:13,479
Like, you want to be,
316
00:17:13,547 --> 00:17:17,082
"Like-- Round up, you guys."
317
00:17:17,150 --> 00:17:18,250
Not the round up.
318
00:17:18,319 --> 00:17:19,752
- Please, not the...
- round up.
319
00:17:19,820 --> 00:17:21,788
"Let's-- Let's take a knee,
you guys.
320
00:17:21,855 --> 00:17:24,123
"Good job.
Good morning,
321
00:17:24,191 --> 00:17:28,494
"but we're really falling
behind with cleanliness."
322
00:17:28,562 --> 00:17:30,196
And you see these are
the motherfuckers that are
323
00:17:30,263 --> 00:17:32,623
just always be havin'-- smokin'
cigarettes outside the back.
324
00:17:32,665 --> 00:17:33,632
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
325
00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:35,400
"You want another break?
326
00:17:35,468 --> 00:17:36,635
"You want another break?"
327
00:17:36,703 --> 00:17:38,437
- What are you doin'?
- Okay, okay.
328
00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:47,773
What flavor you got?
329
00:17:47,841 --> 00:17:48,941
Vanilla.
330
00:17:49,010 --> 00:17:50,510
Flavor do you got?
331
00:17:50,577 --> 00:17:52,012
Lemon zinger.
332
00:17:52,079 --> 00:17:53,380
Lemon zinger like that tea?
333
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:54,981
- Oh.
- What?
334
00:17:55,049 --> 00:17:56,216
Oh, no.
335
00:17:56,283 --> 00:17:57,884
No-no.
336
00:17:57,951 --> 00:17:59,319
I got that brain freeze.
337
00:17:59,387 --> 00:18:00,586
Oh, man. The fuck you do.
338
00:18:00,654 --> 00:18:03,789
- You ain't no brain freeze.
- Oh.
339
00:18:03,857 --> 00:18:05,758
Man, dude. Relax, man.
That shit pass, man.
340
00:18:05,826 --> 00:18:07,760
- Calm down.
- It ain't passing.
341
00:18:07,828 --> 00:18:09,261
Ooh. It's intensifying.
342
00:18:09,329 --> 00:18:10,530
What do you mean not passin'?
What do you mean, man?
343
00:18:10,597 --> 00:18:12,197
That can't be intensifyin', dog.
344
00:18:12,265 --> 00:18:13,566
Whoo.
345
00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:15,434
Come on, man.
You say you from the hood, dog.
346
00:18:15,502 --> 00:18:18,070
You actin' weak right now
with this brain freeze.
347
00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:19,772
- Ahh! Ow!
- Come on.
348
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:22,408
Ain't no brain freeze gonna make
you yell like that, man.
349
00:18:22,475 --> 00:18:24,410
Get over--don't be hittin'
your head with the brain freeze.
350
00:18:24,477 --> 00:18:26,512
Come on. Hey. Yo,
you goin' silver balls on that?
351
00:18:26,579 --> 00:18:27,913
Silver balls on a string,
kinetic energy.
352
00:18:27,980 --> 00:18:29,515
Please shut your--
353
00:18:29,582 --> 00:18:30,882
What's wrong with you?
354
00:18:30,950 --> 00:18:32,151
Come on. Okay, Exorcist.
355
00:18:32,218 --> 00:18:33,752
What are you doin' now?
356
00:18:33,819 --> 00:18:36,988
What, you doin' some kung fu?
Get over it, man. Listen.
357
00:18:37,057 --> 00:18:40,125
It can't be doin' this much
to you.
358
00:18:40,193 --> 00:18:41,726
Listen, man.
Don't be a punk ass bitch, man.
359
00:18:41,794 --> 00:18:42,894
Get over the-- What,
are you afraid now?
360
00:18:42,962 --> 00:18:44,229
You seein' things?
You just scared?
361
00:18:44,297 --> 00:18:45,397
Brain freeze making you scared?
362
00:18:45,465 --> 00:18:46,664
Who are you?
363
00:18:46,731 --> 00:18:47,898
Oh-- What do you mean,
"Who am I?"
364
00:18:47,966 --> 00:18:49,086
You ain't got no Alzheimer's.
365
00:18:49,101 --> 00:18:51,802
- What's wrong with you.
- Help.
366
00:18:51,870 --> 00:18:53,804
You a punk ass bitch.
What is this?
367
00:18:53,872 --> 00:18:56,840
You goin' Three Stooges
on this mong.
368
00:18:56,908 --> 00:18:59,410
This is some crazy ass-- Oh,
you even did the hand block.
369
00:18:59,478 --> 00:19:01,979
You know what, man?
370
00:19:02,047 --> 00:19:04,215
You're weak, man.
You a weak ass motherfucker.
371
00:19:04,283 --> 00:19:06,317
That's the problem.
'cause you're--
372
00:19:06,385 --> 00:19:07,584
- Mmm!
- Oh, whoa.
373
00:19:07,651 --> 00:19:09,219
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo,
yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
374
00:19:09,287 --> 00:19:10,587
Hold up now. Hold up now.
Hold up now.
375
00:19:10,654 --> 00:19:11,821
Hold up now. Hold up, man.
376
00:19:11,889 --> 00:19:13,856
You gonna continue
to eat the froyo eatin'
377
00:19:13,924 --> 00:19:16,460
on top of the brain freeze?
What are you doin', dog?
378
00:19:16,527 --> 00:19:19,196
Hey, now I'm really startin'
to respect you now, man.
379
00:19:19,263 --> 00:19:21,331
If you gonna eat the thing
that's causing you the pain?
380
00:19:21,399 --> 00:19:23,567
This is great.
Oh, oh, now it's goin' faster.
381
00:19:23,634 --> 00:19:24,901
Now you're speedin' up.
382
00:19:24,969 --> 00:19:27,203
He's steerin'
into the brain freeze.
383
00:19:27,270 --> 00:19:30,239
This shit is straight
crazy right here, dog.
384
00:19:30,307 --> 00:19:31,740
Hey. Real talk, though?
Real talk, though?
385
00:19:31,808 --> 00:19:33,476
Real talk, though? I mean,
this crazier than the time, man,
386
00:19:33,543 --> 00:19:34,943
that I strangled Benny
with my bare hands
387
00:19:35,011 --> 00:19:36,278
'cause he didn't have my money.
388
00:19:36,346 --> 00:19:37,980
All right. We got 'em.
389
00:19:38,047 --> 00:19:40,849
Got who? What?
390
00:19:40,917 --> 00:19:41,883
What? You 5-0?
391
00:19:41,951 --> 00:19:44,086
Stand up slowly.
392
00:19:44,154 --> 00:19:46,155
What? I can't believe this.
393
00:19:46,223 --> 00:19:47,956
Man, I known you
since the 6th grade.
394
00:19:48,024 --> 00:19:51,559
You under arrest for the
murder of Benny Tacktheritrix.
395
00:19:51,628 --> 00:19:53,028
Get him out of here.
396
00:19:53,096 --> 00:19:56,031
Hey, man, you a punk ass
brain freeze motherfucker.
397
00:19:56,099 --> 00:19:59,768
And you goin' to jail
for a long time.
398
00:19:59,836 --> 00:20:02,704
I'm in too deep.
399
00:20:02,772 --> 00:20:03,705
Ahh.
400
00:20:03,773 --> 00:20:05,641
I got the brain freeze.
401
00:20:05,708 --> 00:20:07,242
Got caught with
the brain freeze.
402
00:20:07,309 --> 00:20:08,576
Yeah,
you got that brain freeze!
403
00:20:08,645 --> 00:20:09,544
Get him out of here.
404
00:20:12,814 --> 00:20:13,914
Do you remember when
Catherine Zeta-Jones
405
00:20:13,982 --> 00:20:16,350
was in Entrapment?
406
00:20:16,417 --> 00:20:17,584
Do I remember?
407
00:20:17,653 --> 00:20:19,569
This bitch,
she doing a back bend
408
00:20:19,596 --> 00:20:21,555
but she upside down
and she on the floor.
409
00:20:21,623 --> 00:20:22,558
Going through the laser--
410
00:20:22,594 --> 00:20:23,958
Going through the laser storm
like this?
411
00:20:24,026 --> 00:20:25,192
Going through the lasers.
412
00:20:25,260 --> 00:20:26,326
Going through the lasers.
413
00:20:26,394 --> 00:20:27,594
I'm gonna watch it, dude.
414
00:20:27,663 --> 00:20:29,296
- Say, "Hey, sweetie."
- Say what?
415
00:20:29,364 --> 00:20:30,564
"Maybe we should go
to the movies this weekend.
416
00:20:30,632 --> 00:20:33,300
- You got, uh..."
- Say, "Who is this?"
417
00:20:33,368 --> 00:20:34,568
"Catherine Zeta-Jones."
You know what I mean?
418
00:20:34,636 --> 00:20:35,636
You know what I'm sayin'?
419
00:20:35,637 --> 00:20:36,904
She was-- She... Oh.
420
00:20:36,972 --> 00:20:38,805
Do you remember, um,
Career Opportunities
421
00:20:38,873 --> 00:20:40,574
when Jennifer Connelly
was on that horse?
422
00:20:40,642 --> 00:20:42,176
- All like...
- Ooh.
423
00:20:42,243 --> 00:20:43,677
You talkin' about things
I can't forget now.
424
00:20:43,744 --> 00:20:44,911
Talkin' about that--
you were like--
425
00:20:44,979 --> 00:20:48,048
That was--
that shit was my awakening.
426
00:20:51,386 --> 00:20:53,353
♪ I'm gonna do my one line here.
427
00:20:53,421 --> 00:20:55,222
Oh, yeah.
428
00:20:55,415 --> 00:20:58,572
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