Original subtitles

Over the past century of Western cinema,

we've seen a steady increase in

representation of LGBTQ characters.

But there's long been a taboo against

playing these roles, for fear of being type cast.

In the 1950s to the 1970s,

it could be a career killer to play gay,

and few actors or studios were willing to take the risk.

Most examples we have were either

studio films where the queer characters were villainized,

or independent ventures by boundary-pushing filmmakers.

In the 1980s, films with gay storylines

were often indistinguishable from activism,

and often reflected characters coming

to terms with new HIV transmission and AIDS.

In the 1990s and 2000s,

a curious change began to take place.

A-list Hollywood actors began to

selectively play gay characters.

Didn't you have an obligation

to tell your employer you had this

dreaded, deadly, infectious disease?

That's not the point.

These were most often straight identified men,

who were allotted with praise for tackling brave roles.

That word brave has always struck a chord with me,

and most often, a dissonant one.

No, not since Jeffrey and I split up,

there's nobody I really wanna take, so...

It was great meeting you.

Same here.

Is that guy gay?

Yeah, what about it?

Nothing, I'm just not used to

seeing somebody so upfront about it.

Why, for a straight man,

who is an actor, who makes believe for a living,

is it brave to take on a gay role?

What is it about exploring the idea of love,

intimacy, and sexual excitement,

causes a wall of fear to be thrown up?

A wall so high that only the most

courageous would attempt to climb.

In 2005, I was cast in a gay,

sudsy drama, Dante's Cove.

The show received its highest praise

when given the take line, a guilty pleasure.

It belonged in that, it's so bad it's good world

of best watched, drunk television.

So there I was, the only out gay actor,

on the flagship show of the first

gay television network in the USA.

I repeat, the only out gay actor on the show,

at least for the first season.

They wouldn't know about us.

Yes they would.

And I don't wanna hide it, why should I?

Suddenly, the tides were shifting.

Everyone wanted a gay role on their resume.

It was now a badge of honor for straight actors to play gay.

And many wanted to join the ranks

of Jake Gyllenhaal, Heath Ledger, Brad Pitt,

Eric McCormack, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Tom Hanks.

The flood gates were opened, and it was exciting,

but still confounding to chat with

straight actors that auditioned,

who would say things like,

oh yeah, I played a serial killer, so why not gay?

Today, it seems we finally reached the point

where it's no longer breaking news

when an actor tackles a queer role,

regardless of their personal stated,

or still often unstated sexuality.

Intrigue has refocused online

into the world of pornography.

Curiously, there is a disproportionate

percentage of men working in

gay porn who identify as straight.

Why would a straight man do gay porn?

What motivates him to try this,

or make a career out of it?

Why is there such keen interest

and debate into the sexuality and

personal lives of these men?

And what does it say about us, the viewer,

that so much of gay porn is dominated

by images of straight men?

Are there shades of internalized homophobia emerging?

Why might we be turned off if the man

on screen looks, sounds, or behaves

in a way that is identifiably queer?

To try and answer some of these questions,

we interviewed men from some of

the most popular and prolific studios,

which fetishize straight men.

I spoke with gay performers about

their experiences, working with straight guys.

And we hit the streets to test the

curiosity and opinions of the public.

Welcome to the curious, surprising,

and always outspoken world of

straight men who go gay for pay.

A gay for pay porn actor is

somebody who identifies as heterosexual,

but in exchange for cash,

is willing to engage in sexual

intercourse with men on film.

I personally have enjoyed my experiences

in porn, on film, with straight men.

Off camera, I've also had experiences with

married guys, with "straight" guys, right?

I think the cash is used as a smokescreen a lot of times,

as an excuse as to why they're doing it.

But I'm a firm believer in the Kinsey Scale.

There's heterosexual, homosexual,

and everything, all the gray in between.

To say these guys are straight,

and they're doing gay sex on film for cash is ridiculous.

There's no amount of money that you

could give a truly, 100% heterosexual male,

to have sex with another man,

certainly on camera where anyone would be able to find it.

These guys are obviously interested in

experimenting and having that experience with men.

The cash is a nice bonus.

And they're probably exhibitionists at heart.

So there's a lot of things going on in there.

So when I say heterosexual, and I put the air quotes,

that just mean they're somewhere in that scale.

Labels are tough.

I think, and I'm just gonna generalize,

I think gay men like to see

straight men in porn.

There's a huge fantasy there.

Here's a guy that identifies as straight,

which means he's completely off limits,

or is not "interested" in me,

and here he is completely naked

and having sex with another man,

so now there's a chance.

So it's the taboo,

it's the unattainable becoming slightly attainable,

it's seeing what you wouldn't normally see.

And here it is, laid out for you.

I think the gay community loves

watching straight men in gay porn.

I enjoy working with straight guys

because it does give me a chance

to experience guys that I

wouldn't normally meet at a club.

I find in my experience, having sex with gay men on camera,

and having sex with straight men on camera,

is pretty much the same,

in the sense that we're being directed.

Luckily, or in my experience,

I've worked with professionals.

So, whether or not you're gay or straight,

we're all on set and there's a director,

and you're eating his ass.

We're all there to do a job.

I've never personally experience

somebody who said,

don't touch me there, or don't kiss me.

That would be a big turn off for me.

If there was somebody who didn't want to

kiss on a set because they were straight,

which I'm sure does happen,

I wouldn't work with them.

Of course, some guys were, I'm just a top.

Well, that's fine, that's what porn is.

Somebody's gotta top, somebody's gotta bottom.

I did a lot of bottoming just because

I could and I was reliable at it.

In the gay community, for some reason,

still today, bottoming is

seen as the female role,

and topping is the more masculine role.

And I think that's so sad because

it has nothing to do with that.

And in fact, I think the person who is

the bottom is the one who's in control.

This is not happening without me saying yes.

I think that straight guys are not

necessarily more open minded to the idea,

but they don't put any labels on it.

It's just they're getting .

It's not the womanly role,

they're not seeing it that way.

When I watch movies,

TV, music,

all of it is showing

more and more leniency,

where men are concerned with each other.

They're allowing themselves, these bro.

Even the term bromance...

We're going down a path where we're opening the door,

where it's okay, you can have an experience,

it doesn't mean you're a certain way.

It's just something that you want to try.

I feel like gay for pay is gonna be

around for a long time because

even as men become more open sexually,

and they're willing to experiment with each other,

and it becomes more socially acceptable,

at the end of the day,

I feel it's almost like a fetish.

So there's leather, you're into bondage,

you're into straight guys.

It just falls into one of those categories.

I don't see it going away any time soon

because leather is not going anywhere.

This is an industry, God bless it, I love it.

It's always at the forefront.

It was on the internet before anything else was.

It was the biggest thing on the internet before

anything else probably still is.

Mobile devices, it's always at

the forefront of whatever it is.

If I could predict what the next 10 years of porn,

I would be a multi-millionaire for sure

because it will go wherever it goes,

but it'll be the first one there,

people will be watching it, however they're watching it,

it'll always be there because sex sells.

If a man has sex with another man,

can he still say he's straight, and why?

Yes.

- No. - No.

Can he still say he's straight?

Yes.

I don't think so, actually.

Well, he's obviously having it with another man,

not with a straight woman.

Yeah.

- Could be a mental thing. - It depends how he feels.

I think I may have done something like that,

and I don't think it makes me gay.

I think a person's identity,

as far as you classify yourself as,

is really your own business and nobody else's.

Is this going on TV because I don't

want my mom to see this.

I think your sexuality is

entirely your own,

and however you judge that as a person,

however you name yourself

is the best thing.

You have to let them believe

whatever they want to believe

for them to actually do a scene with you, right?

If they say they're straight to you, they're straight.

There's no question about it.

You can't question somebody else's sexuality,

it's theirs to decide, right?

If you've had sex with a man,

and it's not something that you do on a regular basis,

it's something you've tried,

am I to judge anyone for saying they're still

straight even though they've tried their options?

Yeah, it could be an experiment,

it could be the beginning.

It's a very individual choice, I think.

Gay for pay is you go on set,

and you make your mind think you're gay,

and you get paid for it.

You come on here and you have gay sex,

and you go home with a paycheck.

They found me on Myspace, back in the day.

They offered me a good bit of money.

Fresh out of high school, that good bit of money,

is something a little different

when you're working a minimum wage job.

I decided to come out here and do it.

The solo was nerve racking at first.

Especially coming into the studio,

it was kind of sketchy.

I wasn't sure how it was gonna turn out,

but they made it real comfortable,

so I was like okay, whatever.

I guess I was expecting more of a slower

process into doing the whole thing,

and then it was just kind of come back here,

here's the studio, get naked.

I said alright, that was nerve racking because I've

never been naked in front of anybody other than

me and a girlfriend or something like that.

When you have about three or four people

with cameras and you're naked in front of this,

it's pretty nerve racking.

Eventually, the cameras just disappear,

pretty much just like jerking off at home.

That's what it turned out to be.

I wasn't gonna do a sex scene

until that money ran out.

As soon as they offered me more money

to come back and do a sex scene,

I was like no, no, absolutely not.

But thought about it a little bit and experimented at home.

And it was kind of like, well, that ain't too bad.

I can do that and come back with a

pocket full of money, that'd be great.

So, I called them back and said

I'd like to do a sex scene.

They let me top, the first sex scene I did,

just to kind of ease me into it,

which they're not doing that much anymore.

But once I got used to the feeling,

and it actually feels good.

I was like, well, get paid to do something

that feels good, that's awesome.

When you come out here,

it's more work than it is pleasure but,

the viewer always sees pleasure because

that's what you've got to portray.

So you've got to, from the get go,

have the right attitude, your mind right.

But it's definitely a lot of work.

When I was first getting into it,

there was a lot of confusion going on in my head.

I thought I might have been gay for enjoying it.

I wasn't sure what was going on,

but I realized that the feeling is everybody,

all men enjoyed prostate stimulation.

I went from thinking I was gay to being bisexual.

And really, it's just I'm straight.

I like the prostrate stimulation part of it,

and that's pretty much all there is to it.

I don't find men attractive.

I don't get any kind of relationships or

desires to be in a relationship with a man.

I like women for that aspect.

But coming out here to have gay sex,

is not a bad thing to get paid for.

I guess I would classify myself as

being straight but enjoying gay sex.

It's become a second nature to me,

to come out here and flip my mind to this

and flip it off when I go home.

There's a lot of mind games,

like when I'm going in to suck a dick.

It's kind of one of those things where I tell myself,

I love dick, I love dick, I love dick.

You gotta just talk yourself into it.

And once you tell yourself enough,

you start believing in yourself.

It actually is arousing once you've

trained yourself to think in that way.

So it's official.

Curtis, you're much better at sucking dick than horseshoes.

Yeah, maybe I should stick with that.

What I watch between scenes is DP,

if you're familiar with that, double penetration.

That's my favorite.

If I'm bottoming, I try to picture myself

as being the girl in the scene.

She's being dominated, she's helpless,

doesn't have any control over what's going on.

That helps me get in that mindset.

For me, it's the feeling alone

that helps me maintain the erection.

Being aroused, it makes things easier.

It also helps with your natural reactions,

your facial expressions, your moans, all that stuff.

I prefer to now, to top,

just because I've bottom for so much.

And it's just, going home with a sore ass.

It gets old.

Being able to come out here and just top

and then go home and be 100% feeling good

and have a pocket full of money is,

makes it a lot easier.

I built my business to be able to bring in money,

so that I don't have to come out here anymore.

I got into doing home improvements,

came out here, did a bunch of shoots,

bought a truck and trailer, a bunch of tools.

It's more enjoyable for me to get out there

and sweat and do manual labor than

it is to come out here and do this.

I'm at the point where I'm getting

close to being able to just run my

business and retire from the porn industry.

After my porn career is over,

I would probably keep having sex with men,

if my wife allowed it.

Me and Linda, we met...

I moved up to North Carolina to

take care of my grandmother.

And she had just moved up

there for the same reason,

five days earlier than me.

And while I was up there, I had nobody at all.

Me and her fell in love and got

married in Gatlinburg, Tennessee.

After being together for about eight months,

she moved back to Florida with me.

She's been helping me, she runs the business,

does all the paperwork, and she loves to paint.

So I told her, you keep painting,

I'll keep doing my part and

we'll just enjoy this business.

Get up in the morning together,

drive in my truck, go to each job together,

and go to sleep together, just joined at the hip.

Hey baby.

Hey baby.

That's a nice shirt.

I miss you.

I miss you too.

I'm ready for you to come home.

I'm coming home tomorrow.

It sucks being away for so long.

I got some money though.

Yeah?

How'd the shoot go?

It went good, it went pretty smooth.

Tired of doing it.

Don't go out there anymore then.

Does it bug you that I'm still doing this?

No, not at all.

I don't like to see you unhappy

when you go out there and do it.

If you don't wanna do it, don't do it.

Then why don't you do it?

Give me a break.

Where does it says that,

if I could just do lesbian porn, I would.

Yeah, gotta know people.

Find somebody that knows people,

and then I'll do lesbian porn and give you a break.

To be completely honest,

if we weren't trying to buy a house and things like that,

I don't think you would do it.

I totally support him in whatever he wants to do,

but I know how hard it is.

He comes home exhausted.

Just mentally and physically drained,

and that aspect of it,

I don't like to see my husband that way.

If he decided that he did not

want to continue doing it,

that I would help him and I would do

whatever it takes to ensure that

he doesn't have to continue doing

this if he doesn't want to.

I signed up for a camp site while

you were gone over the weekend.

Sweet, make any money?

No, not yet, I just signed up.

I haven't done anything on it yet,

I haven't had the time.

I read online that people think

that I'm only married to my husband

because of the money that he makes.

That's really, really hurtful.

I met and fell in love with him

before I even knew what he did.

If you don't know someone,

and you don't know what they're going through,

or how they feel about anything,

just keep your mouth shut.

They asked me on the shoot earlier

if I would still have sex with men

after I did the porn shoot and I told them,

I was like, well, it feels good,

but that'd be something my wife would have

to agree to if I were to want to someday.

What do you think?

Would you let me sleep with another girl if I wanted to?

Well, obviously, as long as I can watch.

Well, alright, as long as I can watch.

Alright baby, I'm gonna get back at it.

Alright baby, I'm gonna go back to work.

Alright, love you.

I love you too.

When my mom found out,

she was asking me, now, are you gay and all this.

And I said no, it's money, I'm not gay.

I enjoy it, but I don't find men attractive.

I didn't talk to my mom for a real long time.

I think it was mostly because I was embarrassed about it.

Me and my mom hadn't been

real close at all growing up.

It was mainly me and my dad,

so it didn't really bother me that

I didn't talk to my mom much.

But my dad recently found out.

My dad's a real redneck,

close-minded type of person,

so he pretty much disowned me.

He's a bad alcoholic,

a case of beer a day, that's my dad.

And having to deal with him because

when he gets drunk, he's very mean.

The first thing that comes up now when he gets drunk is,

faggot, just a very mean person.

So it wasn't hard for me to say peace.

What is that quote?

Be who you are, say what you feel

because those who mind don't matter.

And those who matter don't mind,

and that's how I feel.

I got my wife and we're close.

That's all I need.

I was never really curious about

guys while I was growing up.

It only really started until after I was about 20.

There was a few times where I was

growing up where I was curious about guys.

Messed around a few times,

after a party or something.

Me and my buddy would hang out, but it's been a while.

I wasn't really too curious about guys,

but I've always been really comfortable with my sexuality.

Yeah, I would say I was curious

about guys while growing up,

before I even understood sex roles,

with male, female, things like that.

I never had any experience

with guys while I was growing up,

so I can't say that I had experiences.

But I'm sure there's times where

I probably thought about things

and how it would feel to have sex with

the same sex, having anal sex.

I was never curious about men, ever.

I had a curious nature about myself,

and about my own body.

But I never did have any thoughts about

other boys or men growing up.

I never experienced homophobia.

Just because I was straight,

I don't think that implies that

you have to be homophobic ever.

But now that I've had sex with men,

I feel even more comfortable around gay people.

I grew up in a really conservative, small,

Southern town and actually was homophobic as a kid.

We made terrible, homophobic jokes towards each other.

By the time I got around to doing porn as an adult,

I had a different outlook on it.

And especially having done gay porn,

definitely washed away all those homophobic tendencies.

I've never had an issue with homophobia.

That's kind of a strong term to use.

Being around it though, being around the action

of man on man sex is definitely made me

more comfortable with, not just gay men,

but just everything.

There's so much commentary online and debate

over who's gay and who's straight because

it really fuels fantasies when

people can see someone they like,

and if they're actually gay, that kinda gives them a chance.

There's a lot of commentary online

about who's gay and straight because

people have to put a label on something.

In all honesty, who gives a shit?

The reason I think there's so much commentary

and debate online about who's gay

or straight is because

we're talking about people's sexual identity.

People don't want you to

identify with something that they identify with,

and subvert that, and I think that's fair.

People probably get upset over the fact that

people are acting as they're

gay when they're really not,

or faking it just for money and doing porn.

But at the same time, everybody needs a job.

I think it's because for

one part of people,

I think would like to have the fantasy

of having that person be gay

because they're gay and they would like

that thought to be true.

Other than that, I think that the main reason would be

because they don't understand how gay porn works.

PG photos boys.

I love Sean Cody, I love the way we treat our models.

I love the way we treat our staff.

I love the brand name we've created.

Here we, you get to know the model.

You get to have some behind the scene.

You get to watch them grow over time.

You feel like you're becoming friends with the models.

You feel like you know them personally.

So we wanna make sure that people

want to relate to our models as well.

We realize that pretty early on that

a happy model is a good thing for us.

We have them get picked up at the airport,

we have them stay at a nice hotel,

we feed them, obviously we feed them.

But we give them whatever they want.

Want us to go to the beach, we'll go have a beach.

We like to keep them happy because

happy models make happy films.

Are you good, do you need anything?

You can get a five hour energy, yeah.

We have some really good talents,

and we don't want them trying

to crawl over to other sites.

When I first got hired,

my boss asked me what would

make me a good camera person,

and I told them I was a bartender,

so I know how to deal with people

that aren't always on their best behavior.

And I was also a camp counselor,

so I know how to deal with immaturity.

Alright, throw your clothes on, Brandon.

You look ridiculous when you do that.

Maybe do both, yeah, do both hands.

Look at me.

I'm publishing that one.

You're welcome.

When you're working with models,

they're all over the map.

They could be having a great day,

they could be frustrated,

they could be very young and inexperienced.

It's basically becoming friends with

them and making them trust you,

and then working with them so they understand what

you need from them and what they need from you.

It's a lot of give and pull.

Hey.

No, no, hey, hey.

Do you wanna say hi to him?

I'm just so anxious.

Some days are easier than others.

There's some days where we leave set and we're exhausted.

I think you just have to relate,

relate to models and make them wanna be here,

because no one wants to feel uncomfortable on set.

So we poke and we make fun of each other.

I text the models, make sure they're happy,

make sure their normal life is going well.

So that when they come here I know I can relate to them.

You're like, oh hey, how's your new car?

How's your new motorcycle, how's your wife?

How's your job, how's your kids?

When I'm filming on set,

I have a lot of models will come up to me and be like,

hey, I thought I was straight and all of a sudden,

they'll be like, maybe I like this, maybe I don't.

Curtis, specifically, has no problem with it.

In fact, he talks about how great it would be

if his wife would have sex with him with a strap on.

He knows his body, he knows what feels good,

and he's pretty open about it.

But he loves his wife,

but he also loves coming here and having sex.

So Curtis, are you gonna give your demonstration

of your world famous blow job?

Oh yeah.

Yeah?

Look at that smile on your face.

Alright, show the boy what he's in for.

He's a little backwoods guy, he's very simple.

Dean is very eccentric.

When he's not behind the camera, he's juggling,

doing handstands, back flips, telling random stories.

My tingly face was tingling.

It's about the sensation you get

when your ass gets real good.

Has that ever happened before?

Only when the dick is good.

He has a whole kinky side to him in his

personal life that he's been very, very vocal about.

He's a good kid.

I don't really know anyone that's not

had a time working with him.

It's unique, but we have a lot of models

that will open up and they'll pull me aside

and be like, I'm having weird feelings,

and I'll just be like, not today.

I don't wanna deal with your commit story today,

let's just go to work.

It happens more than you think.

We like to say we're amateurs because we're

working with models that have never done any work before.

So, we're coaching them through how to move,

how to breathe, how to act on camera,

making sure that they are coming across as good as they can.

Pause.

No, no, don't move.

Remember exactly where your hands were,

remember exactly where your legs were.

So why did we pause?

Curtis had Listerine all over his mouth.

It's not the sexiest thing when you have blue mouth.

Don't come out until it's clean, okay?

Let me see your tongue.

Much better.

We're gonna start, you're down there again.

You're gonna pull him up, kiss him.

Look him in the face, say .

So let's troubleshoot a few things I need to happen.

I need you to hold him and bend at the knee

because where your leg goes out so far,

you're blocking a lot of the penetration.

Abs, lock your abs, because remember,

you're in a position where you're leaning forward,

so if I don't see a lot of abs it's just skin.

Lean back, long strokes, okay?

When you're crying later on,

make sure you say you like the dick in your ass, okay?

I love this.

I think the whole gay for pay taboo thing,

it boggles my mind that it's now just

becoming like, everyone's talking about it.

Because I've been in this industry for six years,

so I've been using the term gay for pay for almost a decade.

I don't really understand why it's so fascinating to people.

The people I talk to in my personal life,

there's no way he's straight,

he just blew some guy or had sex with a guy,

they don't see that it's money motivated,

or it's performance motivated or,

they'll flip a switch and then

they turn into a character.

I'm taken aback a little bit by the fascination of it.

I don't really get it because will walk onto my set,

and they're like, woah this is crazy.

And I'm like, no, not even a little bit.

This is my office.

If you took away the money, what would motivate our models?

I think everyone wants to kind of push their curiosity

and be like, hey, maybe I can do that.

And a lot of our solos when they come in,

they're like, I just wanna see if I could do it.

And they do it and they wipe their hands,

and they're like, hey, it was fun.

It's a fun memory,

while other guys will go back and show their girlfriends,

show their boyfriends, show their friends.

So I think just being made to feel pretty

is what really motivates our people.

Do you find porn that features straight

men having sex together a turn on or offensive?

I didn't watch gay porn scene before but...

Oh, it depends.

I don't care.

The love, the storylines.

I honestly see it as a business.

so I don't really don't think it's offensive.

People make their choice to watch porn.

And if they're watching that type of porn,

they're just embracing that type of business

for their personal pleasure so,

I don't know why they would find it offensive.

Oh, definitely a turn on.

I love straight boys, they're my favorite.

Personally, I'm indifferent towards it.

Don't get me wrong, I don't know a gay man

that doesn't have that fantasy

of wanting to know if someone was

straight and went gay for them

because we all want our egos rubbed.

But it's a lie at the end of the day.

Porn has very little fantasy left to it.

It makes no difference.

So I got into the industry initially,

actually just doing erotic art.

So, calendars, coffee table books

with various photographers.

I was introduced to people in the industry that way.

I didn't actually start doing hardcore

porn until this year, actually, 2015.

At first, I was kind of unsure about

working with straight people,

because I felt like if I'm doing gay porn,

I feel I need to have a connection with someone,

or someone that has that same vibe that I do,

in order to be able to connect with

them and be able to perform well.

So for that reason, I felt it was better

for me to work with just gay people.

My first scene, however, was with a straight guy.

His name was Justin Matthews, and he was a total sweetheart.

He was really nice, so I couldn't have asked

for someone better to work with for my first scene.

So filming with a straight guy,

I think one of my most memorable experiences

was probably with Landon Michaels.

He's just a chill guy, no pretentiousness at all,

just a real down-to-earth, good person.

Just someone that you'd like to hang out with,

and I had a really good time with him, actually.

Hey, I'm Alex Mecum, I'm shooting with Men.com today,

and I'm actually gonna be shooting with Diego Sans.

Alex and I, we actually met back in San Francisco,

when I was living there.

This was around 2012.

At San Francisco pride, we met up for coffee.

It was more than just coffee.

I had coffee, he had some sort of Brazillian .

And then afterwards, he gave me a tour of his place.

He had a nice, big bed and everything.

Then we sort of made out for a bit,

got hard, and then we had sex.

So, we've met before.

I'm actually not nervous at all filming it.

It was a lot of fun.

He's a great guy,

an amazing body.

I'm very excited to film it and

have it as a little memory.

Haven't seen him since we had sex all those years ago,

and I'm excited to see him today.

It was one of those hook ups that you were like,

oh fuck, I hope it happens again and then,

it is.

Hey.

Diego, hug.

Good to see you.

Good to see you.

How have you been?

In throughout my porn career,

I've had different experiences with

working with gay people and then also

working with straight people as well.

And I can't say whether one is better than the other,

honestly, because I've had wonderful experiences

with people of both sexual identities.

I was thinking at the beginning that

I would be able to connect with someone

who is gay and not with someone who is straight,

and it actually didn't turn out to be true.

I've had wonderful experiences with people who are straight.

And what really matters to me now

is not what they identify as sexually,

but just how our energies can bounce off each other.

And I think that's what is important

and what I learned throughout my process.

I know there's a lot of stigma these days,

against gay for pay, people in porn,

but honestly, I think some of the gay for pay people

are some of the best performers I've actually worked with.

And like I say, some of them have just been very awesome,

and I've actually loved working with them.

I was motivated to do porn because

Dunkin' Donuts not paying the bills,

and me and my dog kinda got

tired of winters outside.

My ex-fiance actually gave me the idea.

She found it online and I was comfortable

with myself enough to not be bothered by the idea.

And so, I just went and tried it out.

What motivate me to try porn was

a good mixture of money,

other people's suggestions,

and the idea of doing something

really different with my life.

I decided to try porn because it's porn.

It was a chance to have sex on film.

The money is good and there was travel,

just sounded like a good opportunity.

My family, no, they don't know I do porn.

I'm sure one of my sisters will

find out sooner or later

because they got a lot of gay friends.

So I'm hoping, not yet.

My family knows I did porn,

and I was pretty much ostracized

from my entire community.

I moved to Fort Lauderdale when everybody found out.

My parents didn't talk to me for a few years.

My family doesn't know that I'm in porn,

but I think my mom would actually be pretty accepting.

She's liberal, just embraces the whole world,

and I think she'd be okay with me doing porn.

So my family doesn't know at all that I do porn.

If they did, they probably wouldn't react very well.

So that's why I've kept that quiet.

I don't think my father, my mother, or my brother know.

But if they did, I don't think they

would have anything against it, personally.

It'd be kinda weird though.

My family, they don't know.

I think I told my brother when I first started.

My dad doesn't know.

He would probably kill me.

And then my mother, she has an idea that I do something.

I don't know if she thinks that it's gay porn or not,

but she definitely has given me the hint that...

She told me to be careful when I make

these trips down to San Diego.

You get labeled straight because

outside of the porn I've always been,

for the most part, straight.

I've never really had any boyfriends or anything but,

I'm doing this for the money I guess, I don't know.

I used to label straight when I guys

because to gay porn,

I prefer pussy most of the time.

I labeled myself straight when I started

because I have sex with women off camera.

But now, I joke around and call myself heteroflexible or bi.

The reason I used the label straight

when I still have sex with men is because

I have sex with men for work.

Still not that attracted to the guys like I would be women.

Personally, don't mind having

sex with the same sex,

especially when I'm getting paid for it.

But having a personal relationship with the

same sex just hasn't happened for me, personally yet.

The reason why I would label myself straight

is because outside of this business,

I don't have sex with men.

I don't enjoy the action

of male on male sex.

It's simply easy for me to do as a job.

I got started in gay porn when

I was stripping at a gay club in Portland,

and a scouter, he came through and gave me his card,

saying that I could make some pretty good money

if I would to just go do a solo video.

I considered it but still gave it a years time

before I actually called the guy and said,

okay, let's do this, let's take the photos, send them in,

and see if we could make this work.

They actually denied me because they didn't

like my long, shaggy hair at the time.

They suggested I cut it, and so I gave that a shot.

One week later, we took another set of photos,

sent them in, and within a week, I was flown out.

I was, honestly, a lot more comfortable

than I ever expected I would have been doing it.

Got through it, the camera guys were,

they were real professionals,

so I felt real comfortable around them,

I didn't feel intimidated in any way.

I was able to just bing, bang, boom.

Is it stuffed?

No, it's all real, it's all me.

I did it, made the money, vacationed, came back.

They made a substantial offer for doing a gay scene.

I agreed.

My first time kissing a man was with Sean Cody

during the first video I ever did in early February.

Are you nervous?

A little bit.

Ever kissed a dude?

I haven't.

It was with Brandon, he was an experienced model already.

Brandon's gonna show you the ropes.

And so he made it really easy.

He's like, hey, I've done this several times,

it's not a big deal.

How was that?

Not too different.

It was a hurdle I kinda

had to jump over, mentally,

because I did grow up with a background of stigma

surrounding the gay community and,

I always kinda questioned, what's really wrong about it?

Is there really anything wrong about it?

If I was into it, what would it matter?

I know I'm not into it.

Even though I had done the scene,

I still knew exactly where I was with my sexuality,

and I wasn't uncomfortable with the fact that I had done it,

because I've never considered it to be wrong.

There are some members of my family

that would be upset about it being gay porn.

And if they're not going to understand what I'm doing,

I don't really feel there's a point in letting them know.

And if they find out at any point, I don't really care.

It's just I don't feel like telling them.

I've never had sex with a guy off camera

because I just don't find masculinity attractive.

I've never felt any deep connection,

sexually, with a man.

I'm not opposed to men being involved

in three ways or anything like that,

it's just it wouldn't do anything for me to spend

time in bed with a man, just me and him.

People believe that I enjoy doing this,

and they believe that I'm gay because

I act the part, in order to receive payment.

If I don't look like I enjoy it,

nobody's gonna wanna watch it.

If nobody is gonna pay to watch it,

why would they keep calling me

out to make anymore money?

I'm gonna keep on putting on that face

and looking like I enjoy every bit of it.

Are you using your station

or are you using porn?

I'm gonna have my girlfriend talk dirty to me.

Okay, he's gonna use your

emote for a little bit.

Such a weirdo.

Getting a hard-on seems to be pretty easy.

You're seperate in rooms, you have porn to watch,

but to stay hard is a task on itself.

And to get off when you're not attracted to the

person that you're actually having sex with,

considering I'm not into men, it's like...

I need a full boner sir.

But when you've done enough of it,

it becomes a lot easier.

When we get started, and if we start going soft,

we just jump back out, we get hard again,

and we jump back into the scene.

When I'm bottoming, I kinda just have to accept

I have to play a submissive and what is

considered to be a more feminine part,

and I just kind of disconnect from myself

in order to be able to do it.

It's necessary for us to do a cleansing and a

stretching process before we get into the scene.

Stretching allows us to not feel a substantial amount

of pain by the time you're actually doing the scene.

Alright, go in slowly for two.

Do you need a stretch mark?

Yeah I need a stretch mark.

We use plugs and

we pick up this,

what was that, like a two foot,

double-sided sword dildo.

You don't have to take the whole thing,

maybe try to take like...

Half of it at least?

Yeah.

And just have a good time with it.

Get in at least seven inches,

that way I could take nine, of the real one.

How much can you take right now?

I got up to about right there.

The rubber hurts a lot more than the real thing.

Stop.

Go back, go back.

You get three of those, I can juggle them for you.

There is a G spot in males' rectums, right?

So, it's not the most terrible feeling, I won't lie.

Starting out with bottoming has kind of

allowed me to be adventurous in the bedroom

with my girlfriend back at home.

She's also just as adventurous and

enjoys playing with my prostate a little bit.

But yeah, I definitely would prefer to

flip flop so I don't look like the feminine

piece throughout the entire film.

I wouldn't say that my number one

motivator to do this is money.

I would say that it's what the money does for me.

The money allows me to live a more free lifestyle

away from a nine to five job and,

just to be able to start my own

business in kink and fetish.

I feel more liberated and free.

Doing gay porn has caused some small

problems in the dating scene for me.

There's been women that couldn't deal with it.

I had to deal with the fact that

not everybody's gonna accept it.

I have met other people on the other hand

that are really psyched about what I'm doing,

and it's almost a turn on for some women that I

have the open mind to be able to do something like this.

I'm dating a girl that's also in sex work.

She's a dancer who works next door

to where I dance in Portland.

I'm actually new-ish to the stripping industry.

I've done it before for a few months, a couple years back.

And then I started doing this and left it.

But I went back recently and I find that

I enjoy it a lot more because I'm more

comfortable and since I've done this...

I really enjoy just kind of

performing in front of a crowd.

It doesn't have to be stripping.

If I was to move on to something else,

where I can do a performance like circus work,

or acrobatics that people just wanna see.

I was always able to kinda do flips.

I learned them at a young age.

Kick off a wall back flip, standing back flip.

I think that's really kind of where my interest lie most,

but it was just easy to kind of jump on stage

in a strip club and get a crowd cheering

for me and throw money at me.

Straight men generally get paid

more than gay men to perform a gay sex scene.

Do you think that's okay?

No.

I don't think that's fair.

No, why, that makes no sense.

That's not right, it's not fair.

I think they should be paid the same amount.

That's a tough question because I think

I get paid more than the straight guys do.

Yeah, why not?

Yeah, I'm okay with that.

I think no matter what industry

you're gonna look at, there's discrimination.

There's gonna be a glass ceiling, a pink ceiling.

In this case, it's a rainbow ceiling.

I think that has to be done because

to get them to actually have sex with another man,

there needs to be that financial backing behind it, right?

I don't think it's right.

I think everybody should get paid the same.

Gay men do it for free all the time,

so there's that understanding,

well, I don't have to pay that gay guy as much

because he's gonna do it for free anyways.

You know what I mean?

So I think that's kind of the general idea

and probably why they get paid a little bit more

because they hold out for it.

If a gay man is willing to take less money for it,

then it's probably something we should

deal with as a community in the adult industry.

Okay, great, thanks guys.

You're welcome.

The excitement that I've ever experienced

with having sex with a man has just been

working with them and getting

to know them personally.

But in terms of the actual act of having sex with a man,

I never found it exciting or even pleasurable.

Honestly, I'm not gonna compete

with a lesbian for eating pussy.

She's obviously gonna know how to do it better.

So guys would definitely give a better blow job than girls.

One of the things that kinda excites me about having gay

sex is that you get to do something a little different.

And sometimes, it's a little uncomfortable and weird,

and that's exciting, I don't really know why but it is.

It's new, it's different.

It's something that I have

never thought I'd actually try.

But there's been times where I've actually had a

connection with a guy and it was pretty enjoyable.

When it comes to bottoming,

when I did my first bottoming scene,

it was definitely a lot more physical

than emotional because

well, that hurt.

Hey, you got a 10 inch cock up your ass,

that's gonna hurt, it doesn't feel too pleasant,

especially if you don't like it.

There definitely is some vulnerability

involved when you're bottoming.

You kind of give up a little bit of masculinity,

or, I guess, some people think that.

I guess because you're in a

more physically vulnerable position,

and maybe people think that's not

the most macho or masculine thing to do.

Bottoming was horrific.

I couldn't stand it.

Mentally, I felt very taken advantage of,

even though I was choosing to do it.

I like to be the one in control.

And having that happened

is a complete loss of control.

After my career in porn comes to an end,

I might still have sex with men.

It feels good, it's fun, I've met a lot of attractive guys.

So I'm sure that there are some out there

that'll tempt me into more sex.

No, I won't.

I won't be having sex with men after this career does end.

It's always just been work for me,

so it won't be going on afterward.

Will I have sex with men after my porn career ends?

Maybe, possibly, I don't know.

If Ryan Reynolds comes up to me

and tell me to put it in his ass,

I'm not gonna say no.

I don't think that I'll have sex with men

after my porn career is over but,

anything could happen.

I'll take that as a definite yes.