Original subtitles

Oh, honey, what a show!

That scene where the girl sacrificed herself

to save the whole village-- Well, it was just wonderful.

Isn't that great?

Yeah, and weren't those Scotch costumes colorful?

The men in the kilts and the bagpipes and the sword dance!

Oh, gee, I enjoyed it.

Yeah, I did, too.

Ricky, I've got an idea!

No!

You don't even know what it is.

Oh, yes, I do.

You want to go to Scotland and look up your mother's relatives.

You think you're so smart. That wasn't it at all.

- That was the farthest thing from my mind. - All right, what was your idea?

Well, why can't we go to Scotland?

I promised Mother that, that I'd look up some of the McGillicuddy clan.

Maybe bring back a bolt of the family plaid, you know.

Just forget it.

- Oh, why, honey? - No.

- Scotland isn't very far. -

- Come in! - It wouldn't take long to go to Scotland.

- Hi, honey! - Oh, hi!

We waited up to see how you liked the show.

Oh, I just loved it! What is that?

It's a dragon. I bought it to take home to little Ricky.

I thought it was something different.

Well, it's different all right.

Well, I have never seen anything like this before.

Really? Well, when I was a kid, they had toy dragons.

When you were a kid, they had real dragons.

Well, it certainly is a ferocious-looking beast.

[Ethel] Do you think it'll scare little Ricky?

Oh, no, he'll love it.

Ethel, how would you like to go to Scotland?

Scotland!

- Yeah. - Yeah, she wants to go to Scotland

to look for some of her mother's relatives.

Look, honey, Scotland is a big place.

You can't just get off the train and walk up to someone

and say, "Take me to the nearest the McGillicuddy."

I know just where to look.

My great-great-great-grandfather was Angus McGillicuddy.

He lived in the wee town of Kildoonan in Northern Scotland.

It's between Golspie and Ullapool.

Oh, you must have made that up.

I did not. Now, look, all I want to do is send a wire up there

and see if any of our relatives are still around.

All right. I'd like to hear you explain to the operator about Gillhooly

between Galespie and Babalú and the Cranafranz.

Ha-ha.

Hello, uh, I'd like to send a telegram, please.

- Good night, honey. - Good night, baby.

Angus McGillicuddy.

What's so funny about Angus McGillicuddy?

Oh, nothing, nothing.

It's a very ordinary, everyday name.

I know a hundred of them.

You should talk.

I'll bet your great-great-great- grandfather's name

was probably Enchilada Ricardo.

All right, good night.

'Night.

♪ Oh, you take the high road ♪

♪ And I'll take the low road ♪

Lucy, turn off those bagpipes.

Now go to sleep.

Aye, laddie!

[Ricky] Good night.

Hoot man!

Calm yourselves, my friends, calm yourselves!

Mayor Ferguson, is there no way to save our happy home?

No, there's no way.

As you're all aware,

the ferocious dragon comes to Kildoonan every 30 years

to eat a McGillicuddy, and for the first time in our history,

there's not a single member of old Angus McGillicuddy's clan

left to throw to the monster.

Then we must flee.

Aye! It's either flee or dee.

♪ 'Tis nay, 'tis nay ♪

♪ There's a terrible two-headed dragon ♪

♪ Who can swallow with either head ♪

♪ If he do not fill his tooth with McGillicuddy soup ♪

♪ He'll ruin Kildoonan instead ♪

♪ Ruin Kildoonan instead! ♪

♪ Ruin Kildoonan instead! ♪

♪ Ah, to find a McGillicuddy would take a bonny wizard ♪

♪ There's nary a man of the bonny clan ♪

♪ They're all in the dragon's gizzard ♪

♪ All in the dragon's gizzard ♪

♪ All in the dragon's gizzard ♪

Pardon me, but are you the mayor?

Aye. Who are you?

Oh, well, I'm Lucy,

the great-great- great-granddaughter of Angus McGillicuddy.

McGilli...

Do you hear that, lads?

She's a McGillicuddy!

Well, golly, what a welcome!

I didn't know you'd be this glad to see me!

Lucy McGillicuddy, you look good enough to eat!

Well!

How can we be sure the lass is a real McGillicuddy?

Oh, I am, I am.

Cross my heart and hope to dee.

Well, then you can prove it.

Let us see you do the swor' dance!

The "swor" dance?

Aye. You can dance it, aye?

Aye.

Aye.

Ay-ay-ay.

Bring out the swords! On with the sword dance!

Come along, Lucy.

Well, I am a McGillicuddy.

Aye, that you ar-r-e!

There never was a McGillicuddy could dance worth a hoot!

Oh!

Aye, do you know what that means, lads?

A McGillicuddy is here!

♪ When you meet a McGillicuddy ♪

♪ Coming through the rye ♪

♪ Then you got a real buddy ♪

♪ Who for you would die! ♪

♪ There's nothing a McGillicuddy would not do for ye ♪

♪ Do you want her shirt, her kilt, her cat? ♪

Ha, ha!

♪ She'll give you that ♪

♪ That's me! ♪

- ♪ Give a cry! ♪ - ♪ Aye! ♪

- ♪ A cry! ♪ - ♪ Aye! ♪

♪ A cry and a yell and a cheer ♪

♪ Give a cry and a yell and a hoot and a hi ♪

♪ A McGillicuddy is her-r-e! ♪

♪ Give a cry and a yell and a hoot and a hi ♪

♪ A McGillicuddy is here! ♪

♪ Oh, 'tis very nice to see a McGillicuddy face ♪

♪ Even though it nay may be very long around this place ♪

If you're a McGillicuddy,

you're a heck of a regular fella.

Yeah, well, my mother was a Cuddy

and my father was a McGilli.

♪ There's nothing a McGillicuddy would not do for ye ♪

♪ If it's feed you need or a friendly chat ♪

- ♪ She'll give you that ♪ - ♪ That's me! ♪

- ♪ Give a hoot ♪ - ♪ A hoot ♪

♪ Give a hoot and a yell and a cheer ♪

♪ Give a hoot and a yell and a cry and a hi ♪

♪ A McGillicuddy is here ♪

♪ Give a hoot and a yell and a cry and a hi ♪

♪ A McGillicuddy is here! ♪

♪ You make me feel so welcome ♪

♪ You really have the knack ♪

♪ And though I've not been here before ♪

♪ I su-r-re am glad I'm back! ♪

♪ Some cousins of my mother's ♪

♪ Are they around here yet? ♪

- McGillicuddy brothers? - Aye.

Hale fellas-- well et!

♪ Ther-r-e's ♪

♪ Nothing a McGillicuddy would not do for ye ♪

♪ I'd give you my Davy Crockett hat ♪

♪ My shillings, my fillings ♪

♪ My cricket bat ♪

♪ My candied yams, my brandied quince ♪

♪ My TV antenna, my henna rinse! ♪

♪ Save our strife ♪

♪ She'll give us her life! ♪

That's me!

That's me?

- ♪ Give a yow! ♪ - ♪ Yow!♪

- ♪ Brr! ♪ - ♪ Brr!♪

♪ A yow and a brr and a cheer ♪

♪ Give a yow and a brr and a brr and a yow ♪

♪ A McGillicuddy is here! ♪

[Lucy] ♪ Give a heh and a huh and a who and a what? ♪

♪ A McGillicuddy was h-h-here ♪

♪ A McGillicuddy is here ♪ ♪ A McGillicuddy is here ♪

♪ A McGillicuddy is here ♪

♪ A McGillicuddy is here! ♪

All right.

Take her to the inn and fatten her up! She looks a wee bit bony.

Come along, me bony lassie.

What do you mean, fatten me up? What's the matter with everybody?

You were just so glad to see me a minute ago!

Aye, that we were, and that we are.

Well, what about a hut and hoo and a what and a brr and all that stuff?

Oh, take her away!

Aye, here comes Scotty MacCardo,

and he's in a terrible dither!

- Mayor! - Aye, Scotty.

Mayor!

Mayor, I'm in a terrible dither.

- I just saw the dr-r-agon. - No!

When did he arrive?

Last nick.

Last nick?

Last nick.

I could see him because there was a braw brick

moonlick nick last nick.

We must flee!

Run! R-R-Run!

Not so fast! not so fast!

Hold your britches.

What britches?

The one you wear under your kilts.

You're supposed to wear britches?

Scotty, Scotty, we found a McGillicuddy.

A real McGillicuddy?

Aye, aye.

And I hereby assign you to keep an eye on her

till we can throw her to the dragon tomorrow.

Aye.

She's in the inn, and dinna let her o-o-ut.

Aye.

♪ A McGillicuddy is here ♪

♪ A McGillicuddy is here ♪

[Ricky, sotto voce] ♪ A McGillicuddy is here ♪

♪ A McGillicuddy is here ♪

Are you a McGillicuddy?

That's right.

My name is Lucy.

I'm sorry, Miss Lucy.

I cannot let you pass.

Why not?

I'm your bodyguard.

I'm Scotty MacTavish MacDougall MacCardo.

You're Scotch?

Aye.

My great-great- great-grandfather

sailed to Scotland with the Spanish Armada.

Perhaps you've heard of him, Enchilada Ricardo.

Why are you looking at me like that,

Scotty MacTavish MacDougall MacCardo?

Lucy, you got a maha pihee face.

I got a "maha pihee face"?

I believe I'm in love with ye.

- With me? - Aye.

Little old heather-picking me?

It was love at first sight.

- But woe is me! - What's the matter?

- You're in grave danger. - Why?

They're going to throw a McGillicuddy to the dragon tomorrow.

- They're going to throw me to a dragon? - Aye.

Every 30 years, they throw a McGillicuddy

to the two terrible two-headed dragon for his dinner.

No wonder I'm the last of the McGillicuddys!

♪ I'm in love with the dragon's dinner ♪

♪ The dragon's embraceable dinner ♪

♪ I'll swear my love will e'er be true ♪

♪ I'll serve ye with all me heart ♪

♪ But the hungry dragon will serve ye, too ♪

♪ He'll serve ye à la carte ♪

♪ He'll serve me à la carte? ♪

♪ He'll serve ye à la carte ♪

♪ I'm in love with the dragon's dinner ♪

♪ And the dragon's a drag on me! ♪

♪ I'm in love with the dragon's dinner ♪

♪ The dragon's embraceable dinner ♪

♪ My bonny chick, you'll always be ♪

♪ You'll fill my every need ♪

♪ But woe is me ♪

♪ I hate to see ♪

♪ My chicken fricasseed ♪

♪ "Your chicken fricasseed"? ♪

♪ My chicken fricasseed ♪

♪ You're the stew in the dragon's dinner ♪

♪ And the dragon's a drag on me ♪

Maybe a nip of heather mist

would put ye in the mood?

Well, that would be a novel twist

even the stew would be stewed.

But when that dragon starts to eat, I'll really get his goat.

I'll kick and I'll scratch and I'll drag my feet

all the way down his throat!

♪ I'm... in love with the dragon's dinner ♪

♪ The dragon's embraceable dinner ♪

♪ Our wedding day we ne'er will see... ♪

♪ Or our kids that might have been ♪

♪ Kith and kin we ne'er will be.... ♪

♪ So kith me while you kin! ♪

♪ And kith me once again ♪

- ♪ I'm in love, I'm in love ♪ - ♪ I'm in love, I'm in love ♪

♪ I'm in love with the dragon's dinner ♪

♪ And the dragon's a drag on me! ♪

Why does it always have to be a McGillicuddy the dragon eats?

Oh, that's life, lassie. It's nature's way.

Cats eat mice,

dogs eat bones,

cows eat grass,

and dragons eat McGillicuddys.

Well, let's you and I go and have a talk with this terrible two-headed dragon.

Maybe it'll listen to reason.

Well, what have we got to lose?

Let's go.

I wish you'd get over that cold. It's driving me crazy.

Gee, I haven't eaten in 30 years.

Boy, am I starved!

Me too!

Mmm... Won't it be good to sink our teeth

into a nice, fresh McGillicuddy?

Aye, yummy, yummy, yum!

How will we have it this time?

How about a McGillicuddy burger?

Nah, no.

Well, what about McGillicuddy foo yong?

Oh, no!

Why not?

Well, we only eat once every 30 years.

You know how that Chinese food is--

You eat it and a year later, you're hungry.

Well, I still want a McGillicuddy foo yong.

- Well, I don't! - Well, I do!

- Well, I don't! - I do!

Oh, who ever said two heads are better than one?

Ah...

♪ Two heads are nay better than one, than one ♪

♪ They're not even better than none, than none ♪

♪ So pity a two-headed dragon ♪

♪ Two heads are nay better than one ♪

Hoot man! Hoot man!

♪ Whenever I come to a fork in the road ♪

♪ My heads have a terrible fight ♪

♪ My right head wants to go to the left ♪

♪ And my left wants to go to the right! ♪

I want to go this way!

I want to go that!

You see, we could never agree.

Oh, I wish we had another head

to be the referee!

Hoot man, hoot man!

However, there's one good reason

for an extra head to keep.

When I'm too tired to stay awake,

I sing myself to sleep.

♪ Sleep gently, sweet dragon ♪

♪ Just close your wee eyes ♪

♪ And dream of a dinner ♪

♪ Of fresh people pie ♪

♪ The dragon is dreaming ♪

♪ In slumber so deep... ♪

Now get up!

Why did you wake me up?

- Because I want to sleep and you... - I don't want you to sleep.

- I want to sleep. - Oh.

Shh! I think I hear somebody coming!

Fee, fi, foe, fuddy,

- I smell the blood of a McGillicuddy! - Ha!

- Hi. - Hi!

- Hi. - Hi!

Oh, one of them must be a McGillicuddy.

Who are you?

I'm Scotty MacCardo.

Well, then she must be...

Yeah, yeah, I'm tomorrow's blue plate special.

Why do you always have to eat a McGillicuddy?

Eat me.

Oh, no, we couldn't do that.

Spanish food gives us heartburn.

Well, then I guess tomorrow

you're... you're really going to... eat me.

What are you whistling at?

Get a load of those drumsticks!

I cannot let you go, Lucy.

I will fight the dragon with my bare hands.

You'll fight the dragon for me?

For bonny Annie Lucy, I will lay me doon and dee.

There are moments in a maiden's life

when her days are pure as bliss.

But the moment of them all,

the moment I'll recall,

the blissest of the bliss is this.

For today you will slay me a dragon,

my darling, my hero,

I'm thrilled.

Ah.

It's like we're in a fairy tale,

except you'll probably get killed.

But for 32 bars, let's sing and act merrily.

♪ Life is ours... ♪

Temporarily.

♪ It's time for romance, so, darling, let's dance ♪

♪ The dragon waltz ♪

♪ Your life is nil till you know the thrill ♪

♪ of the dragon waltz ♪

♪ A dragon's no hoax, he gobbles up folks ♪

♪ Like chocolate malts ♪

♪ But come what may, let's live for today ♪

♪ And the dragon waltz ♪

♪ A lock of your hair ♪

♪ And, darling, please swear ♪

♪ Your love's not false ♪

♪ Take this hanky from me... ♪

Aw...

♪ And this brand-new LP ♪

Xavier MacCougat!

♪ And the dragon ♪

♪ The dragon ♪

♪ The dragon waltz ♪

The dragon is coming!

Throw the McGillicuddy to it!

No, no, no!

No, no, I don't have to be eaten!

Scotty said he would fight the dragon for me!

Didn't you, Scotty?

Well ...

What do you mean, "well"?

You just said for bonny Annie Lucy,

you would lay you down and die.

I said no such thing.

I said I'd lay me doon and dee.

Well, that's what doon and dee means.

Are you kidding?

Go on now, Scotty. Now, come on.

- You go. - No!

Oh, she's nice and tender!

- No, no, no! - Nice and tender!

What's the matter?

You coward!