All language subtitles for I.Love.Lucy.S05E07.Face.to.Face.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track4_[eng]

- Hi, you two.
- [Lucy and Ricky] Hi.

Wanna go the movies?

Oh, no, thanks, we can't.

No, I have a business appointment.

Guess what. He signed
with Associated Artists today.

- Who are they?
- "Who are they?"

Ha! Just the biggest talent agency
in the business, that's all.

Oh, Rick, that's great.

Well, congratulations, Rick.

You know, the funny part about that is,
before I went to Hollywood,

I couldn't get in
the front door of their office.

And since I come back, they came after me.

Well, a trip to Hollywood
sort of made celebrities out of all of us.

I'm a very important person
since we came home.

- Really?
- Yes, sir.

Nowadays when I go to the meat market
and order hamburger,

the butcher grinds it
right in front of my eyes.

Yeah, if I want to go to the store
without collecting a crowd,

I'd have to wear dark glasses
and walk down an alley.

That's a lot of trouble, ain't it?

I don't know. I haven't tried it yet.

- That must be Johnny.
- [Ethel] We'll duck out.

- No, stick around.
- Stick around. I'd like you to meet him.

[Fred] All right, okay.

- Hello, Johnny.
- Rick, buddy, how are you?

Johnny, I want you to meet my wife Lucy.

- How do you do, Mr. Clark?
- Hello, Lucy, how are you?

These are my friends Fred and Ethel Mertz.

- Hello, Mr. Clark.
- Mrs. Mertz, how are you?

- Hi, Mr. Clark. Hi.
- Mr. Mertz.

I'm sorry I'm late.

I was having dinner with Bing,

and we had a few problems
we had to iron out.

Oh, uh, Mr. Clark, pardon me,
but when you left him,

did you shake hands with him?

Yes.

Ethel, I just shook the hand
that shook the hand of Bing Crosby.

- I shook it, too.
- Well, I was first.

You were a whole hand later.

Sit down, Johnny.

You must forgive Lucy.
She's a little starstruck.

Starstruck? Well, you'd
better get over that, Lucy,

because before long,

your husband is going to be
one of the biggest stars

this country has ever known.

Really?

- Absolutely.
- Well, gee.

Sit down, John.

I saw Dick and Oscar at the Stork tonight.

They're considering you
for their new show.

Oh, no kidding.

Yeah, and I think I've got you planted
on The Ed Sullivan Show for next month.

- No kidding.
- Boy.

And Ed Warren wants you
on his Face To Face TV show.

- Ed Warren?
- Yeah.

You mean, millions of people

will be seeing us
right here in our own home?

- That's right.
- Oh, gosh!

Oh, isn't that wonderful!

- Honey! Honey!
- Yeah?

We're not on tonight.

I'll tell you in plenty of time.

Oh, well, that's good,
because I want to get new draperies,

slipcover all the furniture
and we'd better repaint the apartment.

That won't be necessary, Mrs. Ricardo.

No, that won't be necessary, Mrs. Ricardo.

Well, I just want everything
to look nice and cheery.

Well, it's gonna take
more than a coat of paint

to make this dump look like anything.

Ricky, you can't be seen on Face To Face
in a crummy joint like this.

Now, uh, wait a minute now, Johnny.

I forgot to mention
something about the Mertzes.

Yeah, we own this crummy joint.

Well, listen, there's no offense.

It's just that we're building Ricky up
as a colorful, exciting, new personality,

and he's got to live like a star should.

You know, in some place like...

Well, like a Park Avenue apartment.

Penthouse even.

Here, I, uh, I brought along
some apartment house brochures.

Well, look them over.

- Well, I like it here.
- So do I.

I'll have you know that this is

one of the finest
apartment buildings in New York.

If not the finest.

These walls are solid.

Fred.

Solid as a rock.
They don't build them like this anymore.

No, they haven't built them like this
for a hundred years.

Now, just a minute, Johnny.

The Mertzes are our best friends,

and we've lived in this apartment
for 15 years,

and we're gonna stay right here.

I didn't mean anything, Ricky,
and I'm sorry if I offended anyone.

It's just that I'm thinking
about your career.

He can have
just as big a career living here

as he can in some Park Avenue penthouse.

- That's right.
- All right, all right.

Have it your own way.

I'll see if I can't get another angle

on that Ed Warren show
and call you in the morning.

- Okay.
- Good night, Lucy.

Good night, Mr. Clark.

Goodbye.

Gee, I'm... I'm sorry, Fred.

Oh, that's all right.

This apartment has been insulted
by bigger men than him.

Yeah, building inspectors.

Imagine us living
in a big, fancy apartment.

I like it here.

So do I.

Don't you worry, Fred.

We're never gonna leave this crummy joint.

[Lucy] Oh!

We're not worried about that.
We'll go on to the movies.

- We'll run along.
- See you tomorrow.

- Okay, goodbye.
- Okay.

Don't forget, tomorrow night
we're playing bridge, huh?

- All right, see you later.
- We won't.

I'm not sure I like your new agent.

Oh, honey, he doesn't know any better.

Us in a Park Avenue penthouse.

Sheesh!

"Four bedrooms, four bathrooms
and a library."

What would we do with all that room?

[Ricky] Hmm.

"Private terrace."

Hmm. Well, that would be nice
for little Ricky.

"Daily maid service." Whoa.

How much do they want for all that swank?

They start at $11,000 a year!

For us they end there, too.

I'll say.

Hoo-hoo.

I would kind of like
to take a look at one.

Just to see what
it's like inside, you know?

Just forget it.

Yeah.

- Hi, honey.
- Well, hi.

Where have you been? It's after 8:00.

I know. I'm sorry.

Rehearsing a new show,
you know, takes a lot of time.

Yeah. You have any dinner?

Yeah, I had a bite at the club.

Hey, guess what I did today?

What?

I looked at one of those
Park Avenue penthouses.

I just wanted to see what it looked like.

It was a $11,000 humdinger.

Boy, you should have seen it.

A tremendous living room,
view of Central Park

and the softest carpet.

They were this thick.

I didn't see my feet for half an hour.

Made this place look like the city dump.

Now, Lucy...

Relax. I found out a terrible thing.
It wasn't comfortable over there.

I guess I'm the city-dump type.

Well, my pocketbook thanks you.

I must have looked like
the city-dump type, too.

Mrs. Skyler--

She's the manager over there--
she wasn't even gonna show me the place

- until I told her who you were.
-

- I'll tell Fred and Ethel you're here.
- Okay, I'll clean up.

I'll be right out.

Okay, fine. We'll be right over.

Ricky's home.
Let's go over and play some bridge.

Well, come on. What's the matter with you?

Oh, I was just thinking about last night,

and how Lucy and Ricky told his agent
they'd never move out of here.

They're such wonderful people.

- Yeah, you're right.
- They really are.

They're the kind of people
that give people a good name.

They're the best friends we ever had.

That's for sure.

We gotta get 'em outta here.

Yep, we gotta...

What?

We got to make them move out of here.

And lose perfectly good tenants?

Oh, now, Fred, for once
will you think with your heart

instead of your wallet?

I don't know what you're talking about.
They don't want to move.

Sure they do, and they should,

but they don't want to hurt our feelings.

We can't let friendship stand
in the way of Ricky's career.

He doesn't belong in a place like this.

He belongs in a big, beautiful,
wonderful apartment.

You know, you're right.
But how are we gonna get them to move?

We'll have to be subtle about it
so they won't catch on.

Yeah. We can burn the building down.

Fred, are you crazy?

No, I'm insured.

Oh, Fred.

Now, let's see. How does a landlord
get a tenant to move out?

Well, suppose we give them
a lot of bad service--

No heat, no repairs.

Think that'll work?

It hasn't for 15 years.

No, we got to think up something else.

How about, uh...

Well, we could pick a fight.

Well, what about?

Well, we could pick one about, um--

About the bridge game.

You know how sensitive Lucy is
about her bridge playing.

- Good. Come on.
- Now, Fred, Fred, don't weaken.

Remember, it's all for friendship.

Okay, come on.

What's keeping them?

Well, since when do you knock?

Hi. Sorry I was late.

Come on, let's get going.

Hurry up. Sit down.

Come on, sit down.

Come on.

No, we just came over to tell you
not to count on us for bridge.

Uh, yes, uh, we've made other plans.

Well, how come? You know this is
our regular bridge night.

Well, maybe it's time for a change.

What do you mean?

I guess you'd better come right out
and tell them the truth.

The fact of the matter is,

we don't want to play bridge
with you anymore.

What?

Why not?

Well, to put it as charitably as possible

and not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings,

you are lousy bridge players.

Now, just a minute!

Oh, now, Ricky, you're not so bad,
but there's some excuse for you.

You learned how to play in Cuba.

But Lucy-- Whee!

She may bring back mah-jongg.

Look who's talking,
the queen of the ace trumpers!

Well, if you want to get nasty about it,

I thought we knew each other
well enough to be honest.

Oh, well, if you want
to get honest, let's go.

I've got plenty of ammunition.

You are possibly one of the worst--

Wait-wait-wait--
Wait-Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Why don't you put your money
where your big mouth is?

Why don't you stay and play for money?

Real money.

Ha! Fred play for money?

I'm not the cheapskate in this group.

Meaning I--

Meaning you!

You're tighter than the skin
on your conga drum.

Now, now, now, now,
don't bug your eyes out at me.

Save that for your movie fans,
if you have any.

This is the thanks we get
for sticking it out

for 15 long years
in this termite-ridden deep freeze.

If you don't like it here,
nobody is twisting your arm.

Yeah, go ahead.

Go ahead and what?

Go ahead and move out.

Well, that's all we had to hear.

That's just what we're going to do!

Good riddance!

And the sooner the better.

Don't worry, we're getting
out of this tenement

before it's condemned
by the board of health.

Good, and you can't make it
soon enough for us!

That's right!

- Ha!
- Ha!

Oh! I'm going to start packing
right this minute.

Oh, no, you're not.

Why not?

Those two crazy, wonderful people.

What are you talking-- What--- What's--
You deserting to the enemy?

No, honey. Don't you see?

They were acting like that
because they love us.

Well, I'd hate to think how they'd act
if they couldn't stand us.

Now, honey,
they think that if I stay here,

it's going to ruin my career.

Oh.

Sure. So they-- they--
they acted like that

so we'd pick a fight and move to
one of those fancy apartments

that my agent was talking about.

Oh, Ricky, you're right.

When did you catch on?

Listen, any time that Fred Mertz

tells one of his steady-paying tenants
to move out,

there's something fishy somewhere.

Oh, Ricky, they're so--

Oh, I could just cry.

Boy, I'll bet they'll move out tomorrow.

Tomorrow? They may even go tonight.

Yeah, they might.

Did you see Lucy's face when I told her
what a horrible bridge player she was?

Did you hear Ricky when I told him
what a cheapskate he is?

Yeah.

Oh, I miss them already!

Yeah, me, too.

Now...

Now we'll have to get somebody else
to play bridge with us.

Yeah, and the way we play,
that's not gonna be easy.

No, it's not.

What's your Aunt Martha's phone number?

Gramercy 3-8-0-9-8.

What are you calling Aunt Martha for?

Well, she always wanted to rent
an apartment in our building,

and I thought we might let them have
the Ricardos' apartment.

Fred, how can you think of money
at a time like this?

In my sorrow, do I know what I'm doing?

Hello?

I'll take it.

Hello, Aunt Martha?

This is little Ethel.

Listen, do you and Uncle Elmo

still want an apartment in our building?

I think we're going to have a vacancy.

The Ricardos.

Well, they haven't told us the exact date,
but I could let you know.

Oh, that's nice.

Okay, I'll call you, Aunt Martha.

Bye.

She'll take it.

That's fine.

I miss Lucy already!

- Oh, now, honeybunch, don't start crying.
- She's the best friend I ever had!

Now, come on, honey.
Snap out of it. Come on.

Oh, I can't help it.

That's the nicest thing
anybody ever did for anybody.

I know, I know. Look.

We'll just go over there,

and we'll tell them that we appreciate
what they're trying to do

but that we're not going to move.

Oh, honey, we can't do that.

They mustn't know that we know
what they're trying to do.

I guess you're right.

Well, I'll tell you what.

Look, I'll-- I'll apologize
for starting the fight.

I'll tell them it's all my fault.

Well, all right.

And I'll tell them that I'm gonna start
taking bridge lessons.

Hey, that's good.

- Come on. Let's go.
- Okay.

Hello?

Oh, yes. How are you?

It's Ethel's Aunt Martha.

Oh, uh... Well, just a minute.

How tall are you?

5' 11 1/2". Why?

5' 11 1/2". Why?

Why, yes, he fits in it.

Fits in what?

Oh?

Oh.

Well, uh, we don't know the exact date,

but it's gonna be
much sooner than they expected.

Yes. Well, we'll let you know.

All right. Goodbye.

How do you like that?

What?

Aunt Martha wanted to know
how tall you were

so she could tell if Uncle Elmo
would fit into our bathtub.

Huh?

The Mertzes have already
rented this apartment to them.

Well, I'll be darned.

They knew what they were doing
right along.

They had already rented this place!

How do you like that?

¡ly mira que creyendo
lo que fuera mejor amigo mio!

Yeah.

Oh, come on, Ethel. Snap out of it.

We did what we had to do, and that's that.

Hello? Yes, this is Mrs. Mertz.

Mrs. Skyler?

Uh, yes, the Ricardos have lived
in our building for 15 years.

Yes, they've been very good tenants.

Oh, she did!

Oh, it is?

Yes.

Yes, I can recommend them very highly.

You're welcome.

Well!

- Who was that?
- That was a Mrs. Skyler,

the manager of
a Park Avenue apartment building.

What did she want?

Lucy was over there today
looking at an apartment.

What?

Oh, boy they planned
to move out all the time.

They just pretended
they didn't want to leave here.

Those dirty double-crossers.

I ought to go right over there

and blacken one of those
bugged-out eyes of Ricky's.

Let's go over there and tell them
what we really think of them.

Come on.

- Hi.
- That agent.

Say, I'm glad I bumped into you two.

I was just on my way
over to the Ricardos'.

Ed Warren says it's fine
to do the show from here.

From this crummy joint?

Oh, now, please, I apologize for that.

Now, we have a new angle.

Instead of Ricky living
in a fancy apartment,

we're gonna show how success
hasn't changed him--

How even though he's a big star,
he refuses to move

from his simple and comfortable,
old apartment

and his two best friends, the Mertzes.

You're both gonna be on the show with him.

That's all very interesting.

It's at 8:00 tomorrow night.

The only reason we got on
is 'cause somebody canceled.

Well, thank you very much, Mr. Clark,

but I wouldn't be on a show with them.

Now just a minute, Ethel.

- You tell the Ricardos we'll do it.
- Okay.

- Fred, what's the matter with you?
- What's the matter with you?

How many chances do we get
to be on Face to Face?

Besides, who am I
to deny 50 million people

the opportunity of seeing Fred Mertz?

And his wife.

Well ...

And what about the advertising
for the building?

I bet we could get double rentals
for every apartment in the house.

Fred, I'll say this for you:
You never hold a grudge.

- Thanks.
- If there's money involved.

Nothing doing, Johnny.

We just don't want to do a television show
with the Mertzes.

- But, Ricky...
- Look, if they want to go on television,

let them go on
with Aunt Martha and Uncle Elmo.

Yeah.

Aunt Martha and Uncle Elmo?

What's that, a kid's show or something?

Never mind. We just don't want to do
a television show with them.

But it's all set.
Ed Warren expects them on the show.

You've got to do it with them.

I don't got to do nothing!

Now, listen, Ricky,
I've got a lot of important people

out there tomorrow night watching you.

Dick and Oscar.
They want to hear you sing.

Ed Sullivan.

Well ...

Look, honey,
if it's important to your career,

I guess we can stomach
the Mertzes for half an hour.

After all, we never have to see them again
once the show is over.

I guess you're right.

Good. Then it's all settled.
I'll see you tomorrow night, Rick.

All right.

Attaboy.

Now, don't be nervous, Ricky.

Just pretend like it's just
any other night in your living room.

Well, hold on.

Hey, these-- these chocolates,
they look terrible.

I think the light is melting them.
I'd better go change them, huh?

No, no, no. We don't have time.

- Nobody will see them.
- I'd better get out of here.

I'll go to the Mertzes
and watch it on their TV set.

Okay.

- Did you call us?
- No. It isn't time.

Get back. Get back.

Good luck, kids. Good luck.

Are you nervous?

No.

Twenty seconds.

Oh. Hello, Ed.

Honey, we're not on yet.

I know. I'm just rehearsing.

- Oh.
- Oh-- Oh, hi, Ed.

Mm.

Oh. Oh, hello, Ed.

Oh. Oh, Ed. How are you?

- Five seconds.
- Oh!

- Lucy.
- H-Hi, Ed!

No, honey...

And here we go!

And here is Edward Warren.

Currently, making feminine hearts flutter

all across the country

is a charming Cuban named Ricky Ricardo.

He recently made his first Hollywood film,

and out there, they are calling him
a second Valentino.

Ricky lives with his charming,
red-haired wife

in this converted
brownstone apartment house

on East 68th Street.

Hello, Ricky.

Hello, Ed.

Ed, I'd like you to meet my wife, Lucy.

Oh, hello, Ed.

Hello there, Lucy.

Ricky.

- Ricky.
- Yes, Ed?

Ricky, now that you
have made that picture,

your career is really zooming, isn't it?

Oh, yes. It's been wonderful.

A lot of wonderful things have happened
in the past few months.

How did you find Hollywood?

Huh?

I say, how did you find Hollywood?

Oh, Hollywood was wonderful.

It was really great.

You know, I-- I'd been working in--
in nightclubs, you know,

for the past few years.

It was different, you know,
working without an audience.

Uh, Ricky, do you like working
to an audience better?

Well, I don't know
if I like it better or not.

It's just that it's different, you know,
and then, of course, when you--

When you go to the preview
and-- and there it is,

and there's nothing you
can do about it, you know?

I imagine-- I imagine that
that preview was pretty exciting

for everybody concerned.

How about that, Mrs. Ricardo?

-
- What?

I-I say-- I say, the preview

must have been pretty exciting
for everybody.

Yes, it was very exciting, Ed.
We can hardly wait for--

...going to a preview.

We're very excited,

and we can hardly wait
for the picture to open.

Neither can I.

Ricky, I understand that you have
an unusual situation

in that you are best friends
with your landlords.

Oh, yes. Fred and Ethel Mertz.
They're our very best friends.

Would you like to meet them?

Yes, Ricky, I would.

All right.

I'll see if I can get them.

Fred and Eth--

Ed, this is Fred and Ethel Mertz.

Hello, Ed. I'm Ethel.

- Hello, Ethel.
- Hi there.

Hi there, all my pals
out in Steubenville, Ohio.

Hi, you guys down in
Joe and Bill's Barbershop, hi.

- Fred, Fred...
- Hi, Lefty.

Ain't this something?

He's not used to these things.

- Ricky.
- Yes?

I hope you won't mind my telling this,
but I understand from your agent

that he wanted you to move into
a swanky penthouse

but you refused.

Oh, yes.

Yes.

We've lived here for 15 years,

and we wouldn't move
for anything in the world.

Anything wrong, Ethel?

I found that hard to swallow.

Well, Fred, Fred,

Ricky's attitude must make you very happy.

It certainly does,
and we hope they never leave.

That's wonderful.

He'd be a fool if he did.

He's getting reasonable rent
and a wonderful apartment

and plenty of service.

And-- Oh, by the way,
if any of you folks out there

need a good apartment,
just give me a ring.

Ricky.

- Ricky.
- Yes, Ed.

How about a song?

Oh, I'd like-- Sure, very happy to.

- It's right back there.
- All right.

Now, if, uh, if my friends here
will help me out with it,

we'd like to do it like we do in
our pleasant musical evenings at home.

- Would you like to help me out?
- [Lucy] Oh, yes, we would.

- You ready?
- Oh, yes.

We'll do "Rancho Grande."

Here we go.

♪ Allá en el Rancho Grande ♪

♪ Allá donde vivía ♪

- Yeehaw!
- Yeehaw!

Pretty sneaky advertising
on Ricky's program.

♪ Había una rancherita
Que alegre me decía ♪

♪ Que alegre me decía ♪

- Yoo-hoo!
- Yeehaw!

We know you were going to move.

♪ Te voy hacer tus calzones ♪

Yeehaw!

♪ Como los que usa el ranchero ♪

We weren't planning to move.

Yeah.

♪ Te los comienzo de lana ♪

Mrs. Skyler called.

♪ Te los acabo de cuero ♪

- We weren't serious about moving.
- Not much.

- She wasn't!
- Ha!

What do you mean, "Ha"?

Just what I said, ha!

Aunt Martha called,

and we found out the apartment
was rented right from under us!

I didn't even call Aunt Martha
until you said you were gonna leave us.

Vinieron aquí preteniendo...

Ricky, she said
she didn't even call Aunt Martha

until we said we were leaving.

Didn't you want us to leave?

No, we didn't want you to leave.

We don't ever want you to leave here.

Well, honey,
we didn't want to leave, either.

- I wouldn't be happy with anybody else.
- Lucy...

Lucy...

Oh, oh, Ethel...

-
- Oh, Ricky...

Ricky... Rick...

Oh, oh, Fred ...

[Ricky] I don't want to go anyplace.

Fred... Lucy...

[Ricky] I want to be here
for the rest of my life.

- I don't want to go anyplace.
- Good night and good luck.