Original subtitles

- Look. Look... - Oh, hi!

Hi! Hi!

Quiet, quiet, quiet, everybody.

On behalf of the entire neighborhood, welcome home.

Where's your mother?

Oh, she's on her way home to Jamestown.

Oh. Look at the baby.

He's almost as big as I am.

Well, that's the California climate, you know.

- Everything grows big around there. -

- Yeah. Look at Ethel. - Oh ...

Ricky, Ricky, how does it feel to be a big movie star?

Oh, what do you mean, a big movie star?

Tell us all about it. Well ...

Oh, now, now, Mr. Ricardo is tired,

but I'm sure he'll tell us all about the trip

at the party tonight.

- [Ricky] The party? - [Lucy] What party?

Yes, yes, we all chipped in together

and we're going to have a... a Ricky Ricardo block party.

- A block party! - Well!

Okay, we'll see you later, then, huh.

That's wonderful. I'll see you later.

- Thanks a lot, huh. - See you later.

- Thanks for coming out to say hello. - See you later, huh. Goodbye.

Well, did you have any trouble managing the building?

Not a bit.

- Collect all the rent? - Every penny.

Good girl.

Oh, there's just one thing, Mr. Mertz.

- Yeah? - Uh...

We had a cold day a couple weeks ago, and I turned the furnace on.

Aw, that's all right.

An-and I-I couldn't remember how you told me to turn it off.

You mean that furnace was on for two weeks?

- Uh-huh - Gangway! Get out of the way!

Well, gee, isn't that nice of them giving us a party tonight?

- Yeah, it is. - A block party, imagine that.

Hey, you know, I think I'll dazzle the whole neighborhood

and wear my Don Loper original.

What are you gonna wear?

My Gimbel's Basement original.

- Oh! - Oh, hi.

- [Ethel] Hi. - Mercy, mercy.

I haven't seen so much excitement around here

since Lindbergh came home in '27.

I wanna thank you very much

for cleaning our apartment, Mrs. Trumbull.

- Oh, shucks. - Well, it was very nice of you.

- Glad to do it. - Okay.

- Here's your paper. - Oh, you started our paper again.

- Thank you. - No, it wasn't ever stopped.

Oh, no. Mother forgot.

Well, it's a good thing too, because I saved them all.

Now you can find out what happened in New York

while you were gone.

Oh! Well, thanks very much.

But they have papers in Hollywood too, you know.

Not the New York Times.

Oh, that's true, that's true.

He fell asleep while I was changing his clothes.

Aw, poor little guy. He was so tired.

I know.

Oh, my...

What's all this?

Uh, uh, m-m-m-uh ...

Mrs. Trumbull saved all the papers for us, dear.

Wasn't that nice?

Wasn't your mother supposed to--

Yes, she was, but she didn't, and Mrs. Trumbull saved them.

Wasn't that nice, dear?

Oh... oh, yeah, yeah, very... very nice.

Very nice, Mrs. Trumbull.

[Ethel] Well, Mrs. Trumbull, did anything exciting happen

in the apartment house while we were gone?

- Mmm... - [Ethel] Mrs. Trumbull?

Anything wrong, Mrs. Trumbull?

Oh, no, no.

You sure?

No. It's just that I've never been this close

to a movie star before.

Well...

You see, I used to be a Rudolph Valentino fan.

Now I'm a Ricky Ricardo fan.

Well, now, Mrs. Trumbull,

I am the same guy that I was before I went to Hollywood.

Say, doesn't he have those big shoe-button eyes, though?

Oh, he sure does.

Boy, you could bake bread in here!

Well, I... I'll see you tonight at the block party, Rudolph.

Oh, I mean, oh... Oh, well.

- [Ethel chuckling] Isn't she cute? - [Lucy] "Rudolph."

What happened to her?

The heat got her.

Two weeks in a hot building will do it every time.

Why did she call you Rudolph?

'Cause he looks like a red-nosed reindeer.

[Ricky] No, no.

No. She thinks he's another Rudolph Valentino.

Hey, Ethel, let's call all of our of friends

and have them come to the party tonight.

- I don't want them to miss this. - [Ethel] Okay.

[Ethel] I live here!

Sorry. Sorry.

Oh! I thought they were gonna tear Ricky to pieces.

- I didn't know he was that important. - Neither did I.

Where is he?

We must have left him out in the hall.

Oh!

Oh, you poor thing!

Honey, are you all right?

What's the matter with those people? Are they crazy or something?

No, no, they just wanted to touch you because you're a movie star.

- Yeah. - Where's your coat, honey?

Some woman just ripped it right off my back.

I think Fred finally got it back from her.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

- I'll go clean up. Here, dear. - Yeah. That's mine, honey. Thank you.

- See you later, Ricky. -

[Fred] Let me in, will you? This is Fred.

- [Ethel] Fred can't get in. - [Fred] Let me in!

- Come on. -

Anybody want a souvenir?

What's that?

Well, it's what's left of Ricky's sport coat.

You mean they pulled it right out of your hands?

Well, not exactly.

When I saw which way the wind was blowing,

I capitalized on it.

What do you mean?

Well, I mean, I grabbed it and tore it into pieces

and sold them for four bits a pop!

Why, Fred, you're kidding!

When it comes to money, he never kids.

- Yeah. - See?

Lucy, have you got any old coats or-or stockings, or shirts,

or BVDs of Ricky's?

I can handle all the merchandise you can give me.

- No, no! - What am I talking about?

I got an old shirt of Ricky's that I've been using for a paint rag.

Oh, Fred, honestly.

Hey, this thing could be bigger than uranium!

- Oh... -

Well, isn't it wonderful

having our own little group together again?

It's so good to have you home, Lucy.

Well, it's wonderful to see all of you,

and I'll bet you're just dying to hear about our trip.

- - Well, it was just fabulous.

Did Ricky really hobnob with the stars?

Oh, yes, we all hobnobbed.

We hobbed with every nob that was worth hobbing with.

It was just fabulous.

Right after we checked into our palatial suite

at the Beverly Palms Hotel, we all decided to go out to lunch.

So, we all trooped over to the Derby.

Oh, you probably know it as the Brown Derby,

but us show folk who eat there all the time,

we just call it the Derby.

So as I was saying, we wanted some lunch,

so we went over to the Derby and we sat in a booth.

Uh, let's see now, you were on the outside,

Fred was in the middle, I was on this side.

- And we had-- - Wasn't Ricky with you in there?

- How's that? - Wasn't Ricky with you?

No, no. As I was saying,

we'd only been there about five minutes when who--

Where was Ricky?

Wh-What was that, dear?

Where was Ricky?

Oh, I don't know. He was at MGM, I guess.

- Oh, MGM! -

Meanwhile...

Meanwhile!

Meanwhile, in another part of town,

we were having lunch at the Derby and, as I was saying,

we'd only been there about five minutes and who--

- [Ricky] Hi, everybody. - Ah, here's Ricky!

How was your trip, Ricky?

[Ricky] Oh, it was wonderful. Thank you.

Is Hollywood as fabulous as they say it is?

Oh, it's just great. It's a wonderful place.

Ricky when does your new picture open?

- February. - That's right, February.

It's at the Radio City Music Hall on 49th Street.

That's right. A musical, yeah.

Did you have... did you have a lot of big love scenes in it?

Yes, he did. I'll tell you all about it, Mrs. Trumbull.

I'll tell you all about all the love scenes.

The funniest thing that happened is, uh ...

when I met Bill Holden, you know.

Oh, I... I... I know Bill Holden!

I know Bill Holden. I know, I know...

Roy, Roy, I knew Bill Holden. I know...

Roy, Roy, I know... I knew Bill Holden.

...dropped this thing on me.

And all of a sudden, I looked around, I said,

"Who do you think the waiter was?"

Bill Holden!

We were there too. We have stories to tell.

Yeah, yeah. Ricky?

- Yeah? - [Ethel] Ricky?

Tell them about Richard Widmark.

[Ricky] Richard Widmark.

Yeah. Nobody tells it like Ricky does.

Tell them, tell them.

No, Richard Widmark is my story.

[Ricky] We had lunch Perino's one day, you know, and, uh...

Here, this is a Richard Widmark grapefruit.

I got this grapefruit myself...

After that, we went over to the house...

...out of his backyard.

[Ricky]...and he has all these wonderful heads and things.

It says "Richard Widmark" right here.

[Ricky] Of course, it's all very beautiful.

Beautiful big dogs like that.

He's really a wonderful guy, you know.

- Hi. - Hi.

Hi.

Is he awake yet?

Who?

Ricky.

We were gonna vacuum the hall, but we don't want to bother him.

Oh, go ahead, vacuum.

No, no, no, no, we don't wanna wake him up.

Oh, we wouldn't wanna do anything that would disturb him.

What's the matter with you two?

I can understand those people last night,

but why are you treating Ricky

like he was made of cake or something?

Oh, Lucy, he doesn't belong to us anymore.

He belongs to the world.

He's not an ordinary person. He's a great big movie star.

Oh, movie star, phooey!

Lucy, you go wash your mouth out with soap.

Oh, Ethel.

- What's the matter with you two-- - Hi.

- Good morning, Ricky. - [Ethel] Good morning, Ricky.

Allow me.

- Thank you, Fred. - You're welcome.

[Ethel] Cigarette.

What's the matter with you two?

- Oh... nothing. - Nothing.

- I gotta go downtown, honey. - Goodbye, dear.

Check on some uniforms. See you later.

- Okay. - [Fred] Goodbye, Ricky.

Goodbye, Fred.

- I'm gonna be right back, Fred. - I hope so.

Well, I'm disappointed in you.

- What do you mean? - Why?

Letting him walk.

Aren't you afraid he'll get the soles of his shoes dirty?

I'm surprised you didn't pick him up and carry him all the way downtown.

- - Really!

- Well, it's... - Well...

- It's different now. - Oh... different.

- Yeah. - Hello?

Oh. Well, I'm sorry.

If you want an interview with Mr. Ricardo,

you have to call him at the Tropi...

Oh!

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, you want to do a story about me.

Well ...

Well, that's... that's wonderful.

Well, I'd be delighted, of course.

Yes, that's, that's wonderful. That's, that's quite all right, yes.

Thank you. Goodbye.

Well, what do you know.

Nancy Graham's coming here this afternoon

to do a column just about me.

She's gonna call it "The Lucy Ricardo Story."

Oh, that's great.

Yeah, it's about time somebody realized

that I'm important, too.

- Mrs. Ricardo? - Yes. Won't you come in, please?

Thank you.

I'm Nancy Graham.

Oh, I know. Won't you sit down?

Thank you.

- Care for some tea? - No, thank you.

I have another interview this afternoon,

so if you don't mind, we'll get right down to business.

Fine. I was born Lucille McGillicuddy

in the thriving metropolis of Jamestown, New York,

in 19--

Oh... uh...

I had a very happy childhood.

Uh, I graduated from Jamestown High School in ...

Let's say I just graduated four years after I started.

After I left high school,

I went to New York City, and...

- Don't you take notes? - Yes, I do.

Now, tell me, when did you first meet Ricky Ricardo?

Oh, that was years later.

After I left high school,

- I went to New York City-- - Mrs., Mrs. Ricardo...

- Mrs. Ricardo... - Yes?

When did you first meet... him?

Him?

Well, I thought this was the Lucy Ricardo story.

Oh, it is, uh, from the time you met him.

Well, I had a very exciting life before I met him.

I'm sure you did, my dear,

but you are only interesting

to my readers as you reflect... him.

Well, I thought you wanted to know something about her.

Mrs. Ricardo, my dear,

you obviously don't know what your husband really means

to every one of the 160 million people

in the United States.

80 million of them are women,

and they would all love to be in your shoes.

Well, I-I don't understand.

Ricky went to Hollywood and made one picture,

came back here, and suddenly, the whole world is all top--

80 million of them are women?

Yes.

And they, and they'd all like to be in my shoes?

That's right.

And... I am one of them.

Mrs. Ricardo, my dear.

What?

You have been chosen for a very important task in life.

I have?

Why, certainly.

It's up to you, and you alone, to make Ricky Ricardo happy.

You must see that his every wish is fulfilled,

that his every waking hour is filled with happiness

due to your love and devotion.

Why, Ricky Ricardo is no ordinary man.

He's something special.

Give him the attention he deserves.

Make him happy!

I will! I will!

Yours is a sacred trust.

Don't worry, I won't goof.

Now I must be going.

Well, what about your story?

I have my story,

and to think that it happened right here before my very eyes...

the regeneration of a woman's character.

Eighty million heartsick women will rest easier

on their tear-stained pillows when they have read my article

"Now I Am His Slave"...

by Lucy Ricardo.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Hi.

A big crowd out in front, so Fred snuck me through the back.

Paper here, honey?

Paper? Yes, I'll get it.

Oh, you sit down, dear. You sit down.

Lucy, is something wrong?

Are you sure?

Everything's wonderful.

- Hi! - Oh, good morning, Fred.

You got any more Ricky souvenirs for me?

No. You picked me clean yesterday.

What smells so good? Are you roasting another pig?

Yep. Ricky's favorite food, and that's what Ricky's gonna get.

Mm-hmm, that's... what you ought to give him.

What are you doing, shining his shoes?

I certainly am.

He likes to be able to see his face in them.

- And so, I shine them myself. - Oh.

Good morning.

Oh, hi, Rick, old pal.

- Morning, darling. - Good morning.

There you are, sweetheart, and there's your orange juice.

No seeds.

All gone.

All... gone.

That's it.

Here we are.

Wanna close that for me, Fred, please?

- Sure. - Here we are, darling.

I want you to eat.

Here we are.

Here we are, sweetheart.

You gonna watch the football game on television today?

Well, I... I'd love to, Fred,

but I have to go to Tropicana and get some music.

Oh, now, darling, you stay right here and watch that football game.

I'll go down and get your music for you.

- Oh, honey, Tropicana's way downtown. - Now, there's nothing I'd rather do.

- Now, Lucy-- - Now, not another word.

I'll go right now, darling. I don't mind at all.

Is there anything else I can get you while I'm downtown, dear?

- No, no, nothing at all, honey. - Nothing? All right, sweetheart.

Well, I don't get it. I don't get it at all.

Why is everybody treating me like I was a perfect stranger?

Even you!

Have I changed?

Nope.

Then why is everybody treating me like I was something special?

Well, I don't know about the rest of them,

but I got a pretty good gimmick going for me here,

and I... I don't wanna louse it up.

Well, I should've known you had some kind of an angle.

But what about her?

She shines my shoes, she answers my fan mail,

she-she-she runs all my errands for me.

She follows me around like a, like a little puppy.

She thinks I'm a-- She's treating me as if I was a big movie star.

I wanna be treated like a husband.

What an awful thing to say.

Now, look, Fred, I gotta snap her out of it.

- You got any ideas? - Nope.

Getting Ethel to stop being nice to me

is a problem I've never had to face.

Well, you wouldn't like it any more than I do.

Well, maybe Lucy will get tired of it.

I hope so.

Hey, wait a minute.

Maybe I can help her get tired of it.

What do you mean?

Well, she wants to do things for me, right?

- Yeah. - I'll give her things to do.

Mm-hmm.

She thinks I'm a big movie star, right?

Mm-hmm.

Well, I am going to become the biggest

and most revolting movie star she has ever seen.

Ricky, I got your music, honey!

- Where are you? - Coming!

Lucy, where have you been?

I have been dying for a cigarette.

Oh, uh... I'm sorry, dear.

I... I'm sorry I took so long.

There you are.

Traffic was terrible.

- Really! An hour and a half. - Well, I'm sorry, dear.

My shoes shined?

What?

Are my shoes shined?

Oh, yes... yes. I'll get them, dear.

Here they are. See?

- Mm-hmm. - There they are, sweetheart.

I can't be bothered with this music and lyrics

all mixed up together.

Type up the lyrics all by themselves, please.

Yes, sir-- I mean, certainly, dear.

Thank you.

Right now, please.

- Lucy? - Yes, dear?

You didn't shine these shoes, did you?

Oh, yes, I did, dear. Why? Is something wrong?

Well, I can't see my face in it.

You can't?

Well, I saw mine.

Yeah, there I am.

See?

Is it too much to ask that one's shoes be shined properly?

No, dear. No.

- Gladly. - Thank you.

The lyrics. Don't forget the lyrics, please.

No. Right now?

Yes, please, immediately.

How about the shoes, Lucy? I'm waiting for the shoes.

Well, honey, I'm typing.

Well, you have two hands, haven't you?

Well, yeah, that's true.

Well?

Oh.

Hello?

Yes, this is the Ricky Ricardo residence.

Yes, I'll hang on.

Uh, Lucy?

Yes, dear?

My cigarette ashes are about to fall off.

Well, honey, there's a... there's an ashtray right there.

I don't seem to be able to reach it.

Well, neither can I.

Well, uh, what do you want me to do with them?

I don't care what you do with them!

And I don't care whether your shoes are shined or not!

And I don't care about your typing!

And you can take care of your own music!

Is that so?

Yes, that's so! What do you think of that?

And I'm not gonna lift a little finger to help you anymore!

You can answer your own phone

shine your own shoes, type your own lyrics,

light your own cigarettes and knock off your own ashes!

And if you want another roast pig,

you can crawl in the oven yourself, you big ham!

- Oh, yeah! - Yeah!

What do you think of that?

I think it's just great!

I don't care what you think.

You think it's just great?

Yeah! You think I wanna be treated like a movie star, don't you?

Well, don't you?

No, I don't.

Well, then, what are you doing all that stuff for?

I just wanted to make you mad enough, so you'd start fighting back.

Well... oh... Ricky!

That... that Nancy Graham said

that I should fulfill your every wish.

Well, you've been fulfilling my every wish

for 15 years, sweetheart.

Oh, honey.