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1
00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:52,427
Hi, Lucy, I came up
to give you some...
2
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:55,514
What was that?
3
00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:00,644
It was
on the ceiling.
4
00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:02,145
I'm trying to learn
5
00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:04,188
to flip pancakes
up in the air
6
00:01:04,313 --> 00:01:06,275
like they do
in restaurants.
7
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,693
Oh.
8
00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,819
I came up to give
you this money.
9
00:01:09,944 --> 00:01:11,989
Boy, am I glad to get
it off my hands.
10
00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:13,072
What is all that?
11
00:01:13,197 --> 00:01:14,783
What are you trying
to do-- bribe me?
12
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,577
The club treasurer asked
me to give it to you.
13
00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:17,953
Oh, for the bazaar.
14
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,288
Yeah. You're
supposed to use it
15
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,956
to rent the hall and
buy the refreshments,
16
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,374
- have the posters printed...
- Shh!
17
00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:24,376
What's
the matter?
18
00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:26,670
- I don't want Ricky to hear.
- Lucy,
19
00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:29,881
haven't you told him
you're chairman of the bazaar?
20
00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:32,050
No, and I'm not going
to tell him till next Friday.
21
00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:33,802
But the bazaar's
next Thursday.
22
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,012
Exactly.
23
00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:38,098
You sure live
dangerously, Lucy.
24
00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:39,349
Well, after what happened
25
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:41,184
at the Fourth
of July carnival last year,
26
00:01:41,310 --> 00:01:43,186
Ricky made me promise
that I wouldn't get mixed up
27
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:44,521
in any more club affairs.
28
00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:45,688
I don't blame him.
29
00:01:45,813 --> 00:01:47,024
You weren't
very bright
30
00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:48,525
throwing all
those skyrockets
31
00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,652
and Roman candles
in a fireplace.
32
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,863
Well, who uses
a fireplace in July?
33
00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:54,197
He should have looked
34
00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:56,491
before he threw
that match in there.
35
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:57,993
Poor Ricky.
36
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,829
His eyebrows didn't
grow in for a month.
37
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:06,960
You remember those little baby
toupees he wore over each eye?
38
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:09,504
Say, where are you
hiding all the stuff
39
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,215
that's been donated
to the bazaar auction?
40
00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:14,258
I'll show you.
41
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,810
What a treasure trove!
42
00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:25,562
Shh!
43
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:37,991
Say, when we sell that,
44
00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:40,285
the club will have
nothing but money.
45
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,496
And I've got a slew
of stuff to collect.
46
00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:44,915
I'm going out as soon
as Ricky leaves.
47
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,333
- [Ricky] Lucy!
- Yeah, dear?
48
00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:48,251
- Ready yet?
- Okay, yeah.
49
00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:49,502
I got to
run along.
50
00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:50,629
So long. Bye-bye.
51
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,465
Hey! Not a word
to Ricky.
52
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:54,758
- Don't worry.
- Okay.
53
00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:57,135
Good morning, honey.
54
00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,553
Good morning, dear.
55
00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:01,931
Hey!
56
00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:04,309
Tortillas.
57
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:08,647
Yeah.
58
00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:09,731
I made them
59
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:12,609
out of Aunt Jemima
tortilla mix.
60
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:14,945
Oh, I keep forgetting
here in America
61
00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:16,571
you call them flapcakes.
62
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:19,324
Come again?
63
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,243
Hot jacks?
64
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,328
You were closer
with tortillas.
65
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:24,705
They are hot cakes.
66
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,832
Oh.
67
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:29,376
Not these.
These are cold cakes.
68
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:30,627
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
69
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,212
I'll make you
some hot ones.
70
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:33,797
No, honey,
it'll take too long.
71
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:35,549
I'll just have some coffee.
I'm in a hurry.
72
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:36,550
Well, I'll make
some for myself.
73
00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:38,009
Listen, you got any money?
74
00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:39,761
I haven't got any
money for cab fare.
75
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,847
I don't know. There's my bag
over there on the shelf.
76
00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:43,640
Thanks.
77
00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:45,142
Oh, honey, I just remembered--
78
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,560
No, I don't
have any money.
79
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,270
I don't have
a cent in there, honey.
80
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,312
Give me my bag.
81
00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:50,313
Wait a... wait...
82
00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:51,690
- I don't have a cent.
- Wait a minute.
83
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:54,526
What are you getting
so excited about?
84
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,027
Let's see
what's in here.
85
00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:59,823
Wow.
86
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:02,576
What is this?
87
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:06,246
Uh...
it's my mad money.
88
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:10,792
150... 160...
170... $200 here.
89
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:14,045
Yeah, I get awful mad.
90
00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:15,589
Lucy.
91
00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:17,466
Where did you
get this money?
92
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:21,803
Uh... I saved it
out of my allowance?
93
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,346
No?
94
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,933
- Uh...
- No.
95
00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:28,517
Uh...
96
00:04:28,642 --> 00:04:30,145
Ew...
97
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,439
Now, Lucy,
this is no joke.
98
00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:33,774
There's
a lot of money here.
99
00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:35,317
I want to know
where you got it.
100
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,194
Ricky, you said you
were late for work.
101
00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:39,904
Now, Lucy, I want to know
where you got that money.
102
00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:41,363
Did you earn it?
Did you borrow it?
103
00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:44,242
- Did you steal it?
- Yeah, that's it.
104
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:45,452
Which one?
105
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:48,497
Oh, it doesn't matter--
any one of them.
106
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:49,623
Now, Lucy...
107
00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:50,791
All right.
108
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,793
You'll find out sooner
or later anyway.
109
00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:54,711
I stole it.
110
00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:55,837
What?
111
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,380
Well, I'm
sorry-- I saw it
112
00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:59,382
and I just couldn't
help myself.
113
00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:01,051
Now, Lucy, you're not
telling me the truth.
114
00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:02,052
Yes, I am.
115
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:04,221
Word of honor?
116
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:07,474
Well... what good's
a crook's word of honor?
117
00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,892
Look, I haven't got time
for jokes right now
118
00:05:10,017 --> 00:05:12,437
but by the time that I
come home this afternoon,
119
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:13,939
you'd better have
an explanation
120
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,482
of how you got
that money, understand?
121
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:16,733
Yes, sir.
122
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:18,026
All right.
123
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,694
I'll take the subway.
124
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,499
Lucy?
125
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:35,877
Lucy?
126
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:41,883
Ricky?
127
00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:43,153
Lucy?
128
00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:44,154
- Yeah?
- Oh, there you are.
129
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:45,613
How did everything
go today?
130
00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:47,449
Oh, just wonderful.
I got some wonderful stuff.
131
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,575
That's great.
132
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:49,826
But listen, Ethel,
133
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,161
Ricky found that
bazaar money
134
00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:52,871
in my bag this morning.
135
00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:54,080
He did?
How did you explain it?
136
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,665
Oh, I didn't.
137
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:57,918
I tried to gag my way out
by saying I stole it.
138
00:06:58,043 --> 00:07:00,378
- Stole it?! -Yeah, well,
he didn't believe me.
139
00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:02,964
- Listen, Ethel, can I tell him
that it belongs to you? -Huh?
140
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,133
Can I tell him
the money is yours?
141
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:08,053
- Well, if you'll do me a favor.
- What?
142
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:09,387
Do you think you
could auction off
143
00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:10,931
that hideous
cuckoo clock
144
00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:12,807
that Fred won
at Coney Island?
145
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,602
Well, sure, but Fred
would never donate that.
146
00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:17,020
But I've got a scheme.
147
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:19,189
I bought
a little clock to donate
148
00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:20,982
and I'm going to tell you
to go downstairs and get it.
149
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,568
It's on a table next
to the cuckoo clock
150
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:26,237
and you take the cuckoo clock
by mistake, see?
151
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,281
After it's
auctioned off,
152
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,200
what can he do
about it?
153
00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:34,996
Ethel, how could ever think up
a sneaky scheme like that?
154
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,666
Who do you think you are-- me?
155
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,628
I'll do it.
156
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:54,724
Fred?
157
00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:55,892
[Fred] Yeah.
158
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:57,143
Where are you?
159
00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:59,229
Right here.
160
00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:01,314
I'm trying to fix the leg
on this darn couch.
161
00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:02,983
It keeps coming off
all the time.
162
00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:04,734
You want to give me a hand?
163
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:09,364
Listen, Fred, I got
an awful problem on my hands.
164
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:13,618
You should have thought of that
before you married her.
165
00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,662
Look, this is no joke.
166
00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,288
This morning I found
167
00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:20,458
a roll of bills in
Lucy's purse-- $200.
168
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:23,336
And just now I saw her
sneaking in the house
169
00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:25,505
carrying some
big silver things--
170
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,382
Real expensive-looking
stuff.
171
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,801
Well, there must be
some explanation.
172
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:30,927
I don't think so.
173
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:33,221
She hid them in the closet.
174
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:34,764
You know, there must be
175
00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:36,141
thousands of dollars worth
of stuff in that closet
176
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:37,934
that doesn't belong to us.
177
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:40,937
Gee-whiz, you don't suppose
she's a kleptomaniac?
178
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:46,735
Oh, no, I just think
she steals things.
179
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:49,279
Yeah, that's what
a kleptomaniac is--
180
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:52,282
A person who steals things
and can't help it.
181
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:53,950
It's a kind of a disease.
182
00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:55,076
Oh, gee.
183
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,745
Oh, you must
be mistaken.
184
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,164
Come on, help me
with this, will you?
185
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,666
Okay.
186
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:04,127
-
- My God.
187
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:08,048
[Lucy] Fred, are you home?
188
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:18,767
Fred?
189
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,518
Oh, Fred.
190
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:45,335
- You see! -Yeah, if I hadn't
seen it with my own eyes,
191
00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:46,503
I'd never believe it.
192
00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:48,254
How do you like that?
193
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:50,924
She is a klep...
klep... klep...
194
00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:52,092
what you said.
195
00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:53,885
Oh, this is terrible.
196
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,720
I'm married to a thief.
197
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:58,848
Now, listen, Rick, if
she is a kleptomaniac,
198
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,266
it isn't her fault.
199
00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:01,726
She doesn't know
what she's doing.
200
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:04,312
She's just
a poor, sick person,
201
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,815
and we shouldn't
blame her for...
202
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,943
Hey, that dirty crook
stole my clock!
203
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:14,614
What am I going to do?
204
00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:16,199
Well, I don't know
about you
205
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:17,534
but I'm going to get
my cuckoo clock.
206
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:19,369
Come on, let's sneak
up the back way.
207
00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:20,370
Okay.
208
00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:21,496
Come on.
209
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:38,721
Hi, fellas.
210
00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:40,223
[Fred] Hi, Lucy.
211
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:42,350
Hi, Lucy.
212
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:43,351
What's new?
213
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:44,394
Nothing.
214
00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:45,687
If you'll excuse me,
215
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,230
I got to go
in the bedroom.
216
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,663
Lucy?
217
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:04,914
Lucy, I want to talk
218
00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:06,249
to you about
something, honey.
219
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:07,542
Won't you sit down?
220
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,044
Oh, I'd rather not.
I...
221
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:13,464
Don't you... don't you
have anything to tell me?
222
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,049
No.
223
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,926
Aren't you
hiding something
224
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:18,094
under your coat?
225
00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:22,849
No, no, that's all me.
226
00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:26,811
Too much pie and
cake lately, I guess.
227
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,396
Are-are you sure?
228
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,564
Yeah, I'm sure.
229
00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,070
What was that?
230
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,447
Yeah.
231
00:11:37,572 --> 00:11:38,823
Oh, I did it.
232
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,617
Uh... ♪ Cuckoo, cuckoo. ♪
233
00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:43,328
I'm learning to do birdcalls.
234
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:44,787
It didn't sound
like you.
235
00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:45,788
Well, it was.
236
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:47,790
I'm... ♪ Cuckoo. ♪
237
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,125
I'm... I-I-I do...
238
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:51,794
I do several kinds
of birdcalls.
239
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,129
-
- Uh... ♪ Cuckoo ♪
240
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:54,756
Uh... uh...
241
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:55,965
Birdcalls?
242
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:57,300
Yeah. Um...
243
00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:08,477
What was that?
244
00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:13,441
That was a South African
Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker.
245
00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:17,111
♪ Cuckoo. ♪
246
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,155
♪ Cuckoo. ♪
247
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,659
Do you, do you know
any more birdcalls?
248
00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:23,785
Um...
249
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:27,997
What was that?
250
00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:29,457
A hummingbird.
251
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,003
♪ Cuckoo. Cuckoo. ♪
252
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:35,880
You do that cuckoo a lot,
don't you?
253
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:37,715
Well, that's my best one.
254
00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,009
♪ Cuckoo. ♪
255
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:42,761
Um... I do
the English sparrow.
256
00:12:44,179 --> 00:12:45,056
-
- ♪ Cuckoo. ♪
257
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,643
-
- ♪ Cuckoo. ♪
258
00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:51,145
-
- ♪ Cuckoo. ♪
259
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:54,107
It's part sparrow
and part ♪ cuckoo. ♪
260
00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:57,151
I know someone
who's all cuckoo.
261
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,153
I'll see you
later, fellas.
262
00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:02,490
I want my cuckoo clock.
263
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,867
Wait, Fred, please.
264
00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:07,203
You'll get your
cuckoo clock back later.
265
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:09,455
The most important
thing right now is Lucy.
266
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:10,957
Now, come on. Let's go
down to your place.
267
00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:12,125
What are you
going to do?
268
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:14,002
Well, there's only
one thing to do.
269
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,462
I'm going to call
a physaciatrist.
270
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:17,797
What?
271
00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:19,674
A physaciatrist.
272
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,260
I'm going to call a head doctor.
273
00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:23,303
I think you should.
274
00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:26,681
Come on, will you?
275
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:40,737
- [Ethel] Lucy?
- What?
276
00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:42,739
Lucy, The most awful
thing happened.
277
00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:44,657
Fred and Ricky saw you
take the cuckoo clock.
278
00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,284
They couldn't have.
There was nobody there.
279
00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:47,452
Yes, there was.
280
00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:49,495
They were behind the
sofa fixing something.
281
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:52,665
Oh, so that's why they were
asking me all those questions.
282
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:54,458
And that's not all.
Ricky was hiding in the kitchen
283
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:56,502
and saw you putting all
that stuff in the closet.
284
00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:59,172
Oh, and that money
this morning.
285
00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:00,673
What must he think?
286
00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:02,050
He thinks you're
a kleptomaniac.
287
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,259
What?
288
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:04,260
A kleptomaniac.
289
00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:05,595
He came down
to our apartment
290
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:06,929
and called
a psychiatrist.
291
00:14:07,054 --> 00:14:08,431
I heard him.
He told him all about it.
292
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:10,016
He's bringing him
home with him tonight.
293
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,643
Oh, he is, is he?
294
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:15,772
A fine, trusting
husband to have.
295
00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,065
Well, I'll show him.
296
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,607
Now, wait a minute, Lucy.
297
00:14:18,732 --> 00:14:19,692
After all,
298
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:22,028
Ricky actually saw
you taking things.
299
00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:23,446
Sure I've been taking things
300
00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:25,656
but he thinks
I've been taking things.
301
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,242
Oh.
302
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,244
Why don't you tell him
about the bazaar?
303
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,872
What, and admit
that I'm a liar? Oh, no.
304
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:35,291
If he wants a wife
who's a thief,
305
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:37,460
I'll give him
a wife who's a thief.
306
00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:40,171
Lucy, what are
you hatching?
307
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:42,590
When Ricky and
that psychiatrist
308
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:43,925
come home tonight,
309
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:47,011
we are going to be
playing a little play,
310
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:50,348
starring Lucy the Lip
and Babyface Ethel.
311
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:51,516
Oh, no.
312
00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:54,477
You're not going to
get me in on this.
313
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:58,398
Listen to me,
Babyface.
314
00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:00,900
Now, you help me pull
this job or I'll squeal
315
00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:04,529
that you were the brains
in the cuckoo clock caper.
316
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:06,572
Okay, you got me.
317
00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:08,950
What's the deal?
318
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:12,995
Come in, Doctor.
319
00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:15,581
Oh, remember,
Ricky, not doctor.
320
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:17,500
Oh, that's right...
Tom.
321
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:20,378
Lucy, where are you?
322
00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:23,381
Oh, give me your coat.
323
00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:24,382
Oh, thank you.
324
00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:25,675
Sit down, won't you?
325
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:26,926
Oh, yes, yes, of course.
326
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:29,137
Lucy?
327
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,681
I wonder where she could be.
328
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:32,765
- Well, I...
- Hi, Rick.
329
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,600
- Hiya, Fred.
- You seen Ethel?
330
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:36,352
- No. -Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't know you had company.
331
00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:37,603
Oh, that's all right.
332
00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:38,855
This is a very good
friend of mine,
333
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:42,608
Dr. Robinson,
the physaciatrist.
334
00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:43,901
This is our landlord, Mr. Mertz.
335
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:45,403
How do you do, Mr. Mertz?
336
00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:47,697
- How are you, Doctor?
- Very well, thank you.
337
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:50,158
Listen, don't call him doctor
in front of Lucy.
338
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,118
We want her to think
that he's just a friend, see?
339
00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,119
Oh.
340
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,328
Have you seen Lucy?
341
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:55,913
She's probably
with Ethel.
342
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:57,582
Maybe they're
out shopping.
343
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:58,958
Yeah...
or shoplifting.
344
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:01,461
Well, I hope
they'll be home soon.
345
00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:03,463
Would you like
a cigarette, Doc?
346
00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:04,964
Oh, yes,
thank you.
347
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:09,427
Well, this is the first time
I ever smoked one of these.
348
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:14,599
Gee.
349
00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:16,434
Fred, look at
all these jewels.
350
00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:18,936
Sticky fingers
strikes again!
351
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,982
Wait a minute-- what's
the matter with this chair?
352
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:23,983
Look at this.
353
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:25,610
A blowtorch.
354
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:27,487
A crowball...
a crowbar.
355
00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:28,696
Flash.
356
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:29,906
This is
terrible.
357
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:31,657
Let me see
what this is.
358
00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:32,783
What is it?
359
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:33,993
Oh, no.
360
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:38,915
It's the floor plan of
the Chase National Bank.
361
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,459
- The 72nd Street branch.
- Yeah.
362
00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:43,127
Why, that's where
I keep my money.
363
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:45,171
This is serious.
364
00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:47,673
Oh, I hope I'm not
too late to help her.
365
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:51,636
What's going...
366
00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:53,679
Okay.
367
00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:02,522
- Okay?
- Okay.
368
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:03,898
Did you get any of them?
369
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,858
Yeah, I got two--
a flatfoot and a private eye.
370
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:08,027
I got the eye in the foot
and the foot in the eye.
371
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:14,242
I winged
a couple myself.
372
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,243
Oh, hiya, Ricky.
373
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,161
Hiya, Lucy.
374
00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:18,538
Hi, Ethel.
375
00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:20,540
Hi, fatso.
376
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,336
Who's the geek?
377
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:29,257
Eh, Lucy, this is a very
good friend of mine
378
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,590
Tom... Tom Robinson.
379
00:17:30,715 --> 00:17:33,844
This is my wife, Lucy,
and that's Mrs. Mertz.
380
00:17:33,970 --> 00:17:35,638
Oh, how do you do,
my dear?
381
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:40,810
[Ricky] Lucy!
382
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:42,186
What are
you doing?
383
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,311
Just frisking him
384
00:17:43,436 --> 00:17:45,273
to see if he's
carrying a rod.
385
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,273
Hiya, Tom.
386
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:47,817
Oh, how do... ouch!
387
00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:50,570
Oh, pardon the
brass knuckles.
388
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,536
Lucy, where
have you been?
389
00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:00,204
Chase National Bank.
390
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:02,039
Oh, no.
391
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,124
You did it!
392
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:07,169
Nah, stupid here forgot
the map and the torch.
393
00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:08,379
I'm sorry, brain.
394
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:11,299
Yeah... another slip
like that
395
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:12,633
and it'll be
curtains for you.
396
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,093
- Understand?
- Oh, it won't happen again.
397
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:15,261
I promise, brain.
398
00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:16,345
Aah, shut up.
399
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:18,638
[Fred] If you forgot the map...
400
00:18:18,763 --> 00:18:19,932
If you forgot the map,
401
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:21,350
where'd you get
that bag of dough?
402
00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:23,936
Well, just so the evening
wouldn't be a total loss,
403
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:25,646
we knocked over
a gas station
404
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:26,689
on the way home.
405
00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:29,567
Oh, no, no, no...
406
00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:31,819
What are you yapping
about, tubby?
407
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,864
It beats running this
crummy apartment house.
408
00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:36,115
Now, what are
you doing...
409
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,618
Listen, come to
your senses, will ya?!
410
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:44,457
Oh...
411
00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:47,292
so you're holding out on me,
eh, Babyface?
412
00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:50,296
This gang ain't big enough
for the both of us.
413
00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:51,589
No, no, I'm too young
to die!
414
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:53,590
Mrs. Ricardo.
415
00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:54,592
- Yeah?
- Mrs. Ricardo...
416
00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:55,676
Yeah.
417
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:58,929
Look me straight
in the eye.
418
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,138
Yeah?
419
00:19:00,263 --> 00:19:03,684
Mrs. Ricardo, you
don't hate anyone.
420
00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:06,103
You're at peace
with all the world.
421
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:09,773
You love everybody.
422
00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:12,151
Yeah?
423
00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:14,028
Yes.
424
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,321
And you're tired.
425
00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:21,285
You're feeling very
tired, aren't you?
426
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:23,704
Yeah.
427
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:28,167
And you're getting
very drowsy.
428
00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:29,669
Yeah.
429
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:33,464
You feel so
very sleepy
430
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:37,051
and calm
and peaceful.
431
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,303
Yeah.
432
00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:41,180
Relax.
433
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:46,686
Relax. Relax.
434
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:50,022
That's a good girl.
435
00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:51,941
Right down there.
436
00:19:52,066 --> 00:19:54,068
Um...
437
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,486
oh, uh...
438
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:59,448
let's put little, uh, "Tommy"
to bed, shall we?
439
00:20:01,157 --> 00:20:02,368
Now, Mrs. Ricardo,
440
00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:03,953
why don't you tell me
441
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:05,538
how you got started
442
00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:07,205
in this life of crime?
443
00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:09,083
Go back.
444
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,711
Go back into
your childhood.
445
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:15,840
Go back. Back.
446
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:17,258
Back.
447
00:20:21,679 --> 00:20:23,388
Well, it all started
448
00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:26,726
when I was a little girl.
449
00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:29,895
I was riding on the streetcar
one day
450
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:33,232
and I looked up and I saw a box
and it said, "take one."
451
00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:34,900
So I took one.
452
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:37,737
There was nothing wrong
with that.
453
00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:40,364
Oh, yes, there was.
454
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:44,869
From then on, I took anything
that came into my pretty head
455
00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:47,747
even though it didn't say,
"take one."
456
00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:49,874
I took a bright, new penny.
457
00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:51,751
I took a bicycle.
458
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:53,544
I took a little boy.
459
00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:55,129
You took
a little boy?
460
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,547
Yeah.
461
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:59,759
But my mother made me
give him back.
462
00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:02,720
And then...
then you grew up.
463
00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:04,555
Yeah.
464
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,391
Yeah.
465
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,310
Yeah.
466
00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:12,313
Yeah, and I began
picking pockets.
467
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,898
I picked a peck of pockets.
468
00:21:15,023 --> 00:21:18,736
Pretty soon I graduated
to purse snatching.
469
00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:20,196
Would you like to see
my collection?
470
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:22,907
Well, uh... I don't
believe I have time.
471
00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:24,116
Where's my watch?
472
00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:26,076
Right here, sonny.
473
00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:28,913
Come on, dead end.
474
00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:30,414
Okay, brains.
475
00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:34,376
Oh, Ricky, this is much
more serious than I realized.
476
00:21:34,502 --> 00:21:36,128
Oh, do you think
there's any hope?
477
00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:37,755
- Do you think you can do
something? -I don't know.
478
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,632
Hey! That's a
lot of purses!
479
00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:40,758
Yeah, I got
purses here
480
00:21:40,883 --> 00:21:43,552
that I ain't never
opened yet.
481
00:21:43,677 --> 00:21:45,638
Get a load of
this loot, sonny.
482
00:21:45,763 --> 00:21:47,640
Get a load of
that, will you?
483
00:21:47,765 --> 00:21:49,517
Boy, I been
snatching purses
484
00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:51,101
for nigh
unto 12 years.
485
00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:52,770
Whoa, boy!
486
00:21:52,895 --> 00:21:55,773
I grabbed this one
quicker than I thought.
487
00:21:58,317 --> 00:21:59,401
I remember now--
488
00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:02,196
Snatched this off a dummy
in a store window.
489
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:03,280
Mrs. Ricardo.
490
00:22:03,405 --> 00:22:04,532
Yeah?
491
00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:07,368
I'm not just a friend
of your husband's.
492
00:22:07,493 --> 00:22:08,494
No?
493
00:22:08,619 --> 00:22:10,496
No. I'm a doctor,
a psychiatrist.
494
00:22:10,621 --> 00:22:13,082
Now, if you'll undergo
treatment with me,
495
00:22:13,207 --> 00:22:15,334
I think I can cure you
of all this.
496
00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:17,753
Well... I think
I'm cured completely.
497
00:22:17,878 --> 00:22:19,755
I don't think I'll
ever steal anything
498
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,215
- as long as I live.
- Oh, why?
499
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:23,425
Well, what is there left?
500
00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:26,846
This morning I achieved
my highest desire--
501
00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:28,763
A kleptomaniac's dream.
502
00:22:28,888 --> 00:22:30,349
What do you mean,
Mrs. Ricardo?
503
00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:34,520
Well, I...
sandpapered my fingertips,
504
00:22:34,645 --> 00:22:38,232
put on my big coat
with the big, secret pocket,
505
00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:41,151
went down
to Clyde Beatty Circus.
506
00:22:42,152 --> 00:22:45,155
Down to Clyde Beatty Circus...
507
00:22:45,281 --> 00:22:47,782
What could she possibly get
at the Clyde Beatty Circus?
508
00:22:48,909 --> 00:22:50,911
[Ricky] Oh!
509
00:23:18,522 --> 00:23:20,398
The part of the doctor
510
00:23:20,523 --> 00:23:23,068
was played by Joseph Kearns.
511
00:23:59,688 --> 00:24:02,066
I Love Lucy
is a Desilu production.
33974
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