All language subtitles for I.Love.Lucy.S01E27.The.Kleptomaniac.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track4_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:52,427 Hi, Lucy, I came up to give you some... 2 00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:55,514 What was that? 3 00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:00,644 It was on the ceiling. 4 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:02,145 I'm trying to learn 5 00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:04,188 to flip pancakes up in the air 6 00:01:04,313 --> 00:01:06,275 like they do in restaurants. 7 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,693 Oh. 8 00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,819 I came up to give you this money. 9 00:01:09,944 --> 00:01:11,989 Boy, am I glad to get it off my hands. 10 00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:13,072 What is all that? 11 00:01:13,197 --> 00:01:14,783 What are you trying to do-- bribe me? 12 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,577 The club treasurer asked me to give it to you. 13 00:01:16,702 --> 00:01:17,953 Oh, for the bazaar. 14 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,288 Yeah. You're supposed to use it 15 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,956 to rent the hall and buy the refreshments, 16 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,374 - have the posters printed... - Shh! 17 00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:24,376 What's the matter? 18 00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:26,670 - I don't want Ricky to hear. - Lucy, 19 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:29,881 haven't you told him you're chairman of the bazaar? 20 00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:32,050 No, and I'm not going to tell him till next Friday. 21 00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:33,802 But the bazaar's next Thursday. 22 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,012 Exactly. 23 00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:38,098 You sure live dangerously, Lucy. 24 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:39,349 Well, after what happened 25 00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:41,184 at the Fourth of July carnival last year, 26 00:01:41,310 --> 00:01:43,186 Ricky made me promise that I wouldn't get mixed up 27 00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:44,521 in any more club affairs. 28 00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:45,688 I don't blame him. 29 00:01:45,813 --> 00:01:47,024 You weren't very bright 30 00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:48,525 throwing all those skyrockets 31 00:01:48,650 --> 00:01:50,652 and Roman candles in a fireplace. 32 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,863 Well, who uses a fireplace in July? 33 00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:54,197 He should have looked 34 00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:56,491 before he threw that match in there. 35 00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:57,993 Poor Ricky. 36 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,829 His eyebrows didn't grow in for a month. 37 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:06,960 You remember those little baby toupees he wore over each eye? 38 00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:09,504 Say, where are you hiding all the stuff 39 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,215 that's been donated to the bazaar auction? 40 00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:14,258 I'll show you. 41 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,810 What a treasure trove! 42 00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:25,562 Shh! 43 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:37,991 Say, when we sell that, 44 00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:40,285 the club will have nothing but money. 45 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,496 And I've got a slew of stuff to collect. 46 00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:44,915 I'm going out as soon as Ricky leaves. 47 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,333 - [Ricky] Lucy! - Yeah, dear? 48 00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:48,251 - Ready yet? - Okay, yeah. 49 00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:49,502 I got to run along. 50 00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:50,629 So long. Bye-bye. 51 00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,465 Hey! Not a word to Ricky. 52 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:54,758 - Don't worry. - Okay. 53 00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:57,135 Good morning, honey. 54 00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,553 Good morning, dear. 55 00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:01,931 Hey! 56 00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:04,309 Tortillas. 57 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:08,647 Yeah. 58 00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:09,731 I made them 59 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:12,609 out of Aunt Jemima tortilla mix. 60 00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:14,945 Oh, I keep forgetting here in America 61 00:03:15,070 --> 00:03:16,571 you call them flapcakes. 62 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:19,324 Come again? 63 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,243 Hot jacks? 64 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,328 You were closer with tortillas. 65 00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:24,705 They are hot cakes. 66 00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,832 Oh. 67 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:29,376 Not these. These are cold cakes. 68 00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:30,627 Oh, honey, I'm sorry. 69 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,212 I'll make you some hot ones. 70 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:33,797 No, honey, it'll take too long. 71 00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:35,549 I'll just have some coffee. I'm in a hurry. 72 00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:36,550 Well, I'll make some for myself. 73 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:38,009 Listen, you got any money? 74 00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:39,761 I haven't got any money for cab fare. 75 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,847 I don't know. There's my bag over there on the shelf. 76 00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:43,640 Thanks. 77 00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:45,142 Oh, honey, I just remembered-- 78 00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,560 No, I don't have any money. 79 00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,270 I don't have a cent in there, honey. 80 00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,312 Give me my bag. 81 00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:50,313 Wait a... wait... 82 00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:51,690 - I don't have a cent. - Wait a minute. 83 00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:54,526 What are you getting so excited about? 84 00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,027 Let's see what's in here. 85 00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:59,823 Wow. 86 00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:02,576 What is this? 87 00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:06,246 Uh... it's my mad money. 88 00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:10,792 150... 160... 170... $200 here. 89 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:14,045 Yeah, I get awful mad. 90 00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:15,589 Lucy. 91 00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:17,466 Where did you get this money? 92 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:21,803 Uh... I saved it out of my allowance? 93 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,346 No? 94 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,933 - Uh... - No. 95 00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:28,517 Uh... 96 00:04:28,642 --> 00:04:30,145 Ew... 97 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,439 Now, Lucy, this is no joke. 98 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:33,774 There's a lot of money here. 99 00:04:33,899 --> 00:04:35,317 I want to know where you got it. 100 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,194 Ricky, you said you were late for work. 101 00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:39,904 Now, Lucy, I want to know where you got that money. 102 00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:41,363 Did you earn it? Did you borrow it? 103 00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:44,242 - Did you steal it? - Yeah, that's it. 104 00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:45,452 Which one? 105 00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:48,497 Oh, it doesn't matter-- any one of them. 106 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:49,623 Now, Lucy... 107 00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:50,791 All right. 108 00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,793 You'll find out sooner or later anyway. 109 00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:54,711 I stole it. 110 00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:55,837 What? 111 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,380 Well, I'm sorry-- I saw it 112 00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:59,382 and I just couldn't help myself. 113 00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:01,051 Now, Lucy, you're not telling me the truth. 114 00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:02,052 Yes, I am. 115 00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:04,221 Word of honor? 116 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:07,474 Well... what good's a crook's word of honor? 117 00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,892 Look, I haven't got time for jokes right now 118 00:05:10,017 --> 00:05:12,437 but by the time that I come home this afternoon, 119 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:13,939 you'd better have an explanation 120 00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,482 of how you got that money, understand? 121 00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:16,733 Yes, sir. 122 00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:18,026 All right. 123 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,694 I'll take the subway. 124 00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,499 Lucy? 125 00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:35,877 Lucy? 126 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:41,883 Ricky? 127 00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:43,153 Lucy? 128 00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:44,154 - Yeah? - Oh, there you are. 129 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:45,613 How did everything go today? 130 00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:47,449 Oh, just wonderful. I got some wonderful stuff. 131 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,575 That's great. 132 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:49,826 But listen, Ethel, 133 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,161 Ricky found that bazaar money 134 00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:52,871 in my bag this morning. 135 00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:54,080 He did? How did you explain it? 136 00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,665 Oh, I didn't. 137 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:57,918 I tried to gag my way out by saying I stole it. 138 00:06:58,043 --> 00:07:00,378 - Stole it?! -Yeah, well, he didn't believe me. 139 00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:02,964 - Listen, Ethel, can I tell him that it belongs to you? -Huh? 140 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,133 Can I tell him the money is yours? 141 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:08,053 - Well, if you'll do me a favor. - What? 142 00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:09,387 Do you think you could auction off 143 00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:10,931 that hideous cuckoo clock 144 00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:12,807 that Fred won at Coney Island? 145 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,602 Well, sure, but Fred would never donate that. 146 00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:17,020 But I've got a scheme. 147 00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:19,189 I bought a little clock to donate 148 00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:20,982 and I'm going to tell you to go downstairs and get it. 149 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,568 It's on a table next to the cuckoo clock 150 00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:26,237 and you take the cuckoo clock by mistake, see? 151 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,281 After it's auctioned off, 152 00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,200 what can he do about it? 153 00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:34,996 Ethel, how could ever think up a sneaky scheme like that? 154 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,666 Who do you think you are-- me? 155 00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,628 I'll do it. 156 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:54,724 Fred? 157 00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:55,892 [Fred] Yeah. 158 00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:57,143 Where are you? 159 00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:59,229 Right here. 160 00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:01,314 I'm trying to fix the leg on this darn couch. 161 00:08:01,439 --> 00:08:02,983 It keeps coming off all the time. 162 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:04,734 You want to give me a hand? 163 00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:09,364 Listen, Fred, I got an awful problem on my hands. 164 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:13,618 You should have thought of that before you married her. 165 00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,662 Look, this is no joke. 166 00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,288 This morning I found 167 00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:20,458 a roll of bills in Lucy's purse-- $200. 168 00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:23,336 And just now I saw her sneaking in the house 169 00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:25,505 carrying some big silver things-- 170 00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,382 Real expensive-looking stuff. 171 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,801 Well, there must be some explanation. 172 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:30,927 I don't think so. 173 00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:33,221 She hid them in the closet. 174 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:34,764 You know, there must be 175 00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:36,141 thousands of dollars worth of stuff in that closet 176 00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:37,934 that doesn't belong to us. 177 00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:40,937 Gee-whiz, you don't suppose she's a kleptomaniac? 178 00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:46,735 Oh, no, I just think she steals things. 179 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:49,279 Yeah, that's what a kleptomaniac is-- 180 00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:52,282 A person who steals things and can't help it. 181 00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:53,950 It's a kind of a disease. 182 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:55,076 Oh, gee. 183 00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,745 Oh, you must be mistaken. 184 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,164 Come on, help me with this, will you? 185 00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,666 Okay. 186 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:04,127 - - My God. 187 00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:08,048 [Lucy] Fred, are you home? 188 00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:18,767 Fred? 189 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,518 Oh, Fred. 190 00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:45,335 - You see! -Yeah, if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, 191 00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:46,503 I'd never believe it. 192 00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:48,254 How do you like that? 193 00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:50,924 She is a klep... klep... klep... 194 00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:52,092 what you said. 195 00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:53,885 Oh, this is terrible. 196 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,720 I'm married to a thief. 197 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:58,848 Now, listen, Rick, if she is a kleptomaniac, 198 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,266 it isn't her fault. 199 00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:01,726 She doesn't know what she's doing. 200 00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:04,312 She's just a poor, sick person, 201 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,815 and we shouldn't blame her for... 202 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,943 Hey, that dirty crook stole my clock! 203 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:14,614 What am I going to do? 204 00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:16,199 Well, I don't know about you 205 00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:17,534 but I'm going to get my cuckoo clock. 206 00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:19,369 Come on, let's sneak up the back way. 207 00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:20,370 Okay. 208 00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:21,496 Come on. 209 00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:38,721 Hi, fellas. 210 00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:40,223 [Fred] Hi, Lucy. 211 00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:42,350 Hi, Lucy. 212 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:43,351 What's new? 213 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:44,394 Nothing. 214 00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:45,687 If you'll excuse me, 215 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,230 I got to go in the bedroom. 216 00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,663 Lucy? 217 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:04,914 Lucy, I want to talk 218 00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:06,249 to you about something, honey. 219 00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:07,542 Won't you sit down? 220 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,044 Oh, I'd rather not. I... 221 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:13,464 Don't you... don't you have anything to tell me? 222 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,049 No. 223 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,926 Aren't you hiding something 224 00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:18,094 under your coat? 225 00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:22,849 No, no, that's all me. 226 00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:26,811 Too much pie and cake lately, I guess. 227 00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,396 Are-are you sure? 228 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,564 Yeah, I'm sure. 229 00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,070 What was that? 230 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,447 Yeah. 231 00:11:37,572 --> 00:11:38,823 Oh, I did it. 232 00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:40,617 Uh... ♪ Cuckoo, cuckoo. ♪ 233 00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:43,328 I'm learning to do birdcalls. 234 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:44,787 It didn't sound like you. 235 00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:45,788 Well, it was. 236 00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:47,790 I'm... ♪ Cuckoo. ♪ 237 00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,125 I'm... I-I-I do... 238 00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:51,794 I do several kinds of birdcalls. 239 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,129 - - Uh... ♪ Cuckoo ♪ 240 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:54,756 Uh... uh... 241 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:55,965 Birdcalls? 242 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:57,300 Yeah. Um... 243 00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:08,477 What was that? 244 00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:13,441 That was a South African Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker. 245 00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:17,111 ♪ Cuckoo. ♪ 246 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,155 ♪ Cuckoo. ♪ 247 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,659 Do you, do you know any more birdcalls? 248 00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:23,785 Um... 249 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:27,997 What was that? 250 00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:29,457 A hummingbird. 251 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:34,003 ♪ Cuckoo. Cuckoo. ♪ 252 00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:35,880 You do that cuckoo a lot, don't you? 253 00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:37,715 Well, that's my best one. 254 00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:40,009 ♪ Cuckoo. ♪ 255 00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:42,761 Um... I do the English sparrow. 256 00:12:44,179 --> 00:12:45,056 - - ♪ Cuckoo. ♪ 257 00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,643 - - ♪ Cuckoo. ♪ 258 00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:51,145 - - ♪ Cuckoo. ♪ 259 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:54,107 It's part sparrow and part ♪ cuckoo. ♪ 260 00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:57,151 I know someone who's all cuckoo. 261 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,153 I'll see you later, fellas. 262 00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:02,490 I want my cuckoo clock. 263 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,867 Wait, Fred, please. 264 00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:07,203 You'll get your cuckoo clock back later. 265 00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:09,455 The most important thing right now is Lucy. 266 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:10,957 Now, come on. Let's go down to your place. 267 00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:12,125 What are you going to do? 268 00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:14,002 Well, there's only one thing to do. 269 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,462 I'm going to call a physaciatrist. 270 00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:17,797 What? 271 00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:19,674 A physaciatrist. 272 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,260 I'm going to call a head doctor. 273 00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:23,303 I think you should. 274 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:26,681 Come on, will you? 275 00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:40,737 - [Ethel] Lucy? - What? 276 00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:42,739 Lucy, The most awful thing happened. 277 00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:44,657 Fred and Ricky saw you take the cuckoo clock. 278 00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,284 They couldn't have. There was nobody there. 279 00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:47,452 Yes, there was. 280 00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:49,495 They were behind the sofa fixing something. 281 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:52,665 Oh, so that's why they were asking me all those questions. 282 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:54,458 And that's not all. Ricky was hiding in the kitchen 283 00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:56,502 and saw you putting all that stuff in the closet. 284 00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:59,172 Oh, and that money this morning. 285 00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:00,673 What must he think? 286 00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:02,050 He thinks you're a kleptomaniac. 287 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,259 What? 288 00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:04,260 A kleptomaniac. 289 00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:05,595 He came down to our apartment 290 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:06,929 and called a psychiatrist. 291 00:14:07,054 --> 00:14:08,431 I heard him. He told him all about it. 292 00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:10,016 He's bringing him home with him tonight. 293 00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,643 Oh, he is, is he? 294 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:15,772 A fine, trusting husband to have. 295 00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,065 Well, I'll show him. 296 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,607 Now, wait a minute, Lucy. 297 00:14:18,732 --> 00:14:19,692 After all, 298 00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:22,028 Ricky actually saw you taking things. 299 00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:23,446 Sure I've been taking things 300 00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:25,656 but he thinks I've been taking things. 301 00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,242 Oh. 302 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,244 Why don't you tell him about the bazaar? 303 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,872 What, and admit that I'm a liar? Oh, no. 304 00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:35,291 If he wants a wife who's a thief, 305 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:37,460 I'll give him a wife who's a thief. 306 00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:40,171 Lucy, what are you hatching? 307 00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:42,590 When Ricky and that psychiatrist 308 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:43,925 come home tonight, 309 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:47,011 we are going to be playing a little play, 310 00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:50,348 starring Lucy the Lip and Babyface Ethel. 311 00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:51,516 Oh, no. 312 00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:54,477 You're not going to get me in on this. 313 00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:58,398 Listen to me, Babyface. 314 00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:00,900 Now, you help me pull this job or I'll squeal 315 00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:04,529 that you were the brains in the cuckoo clock caper. 316 00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:06,572 Okay, you got me. 317 00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:08,950 What's the deal? 318 00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:12,995 Come in, Doctor. 319 00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:15,581 Oh, remember, Ricky, not doctor. 320 00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:17,500 Oh, that's right... Tom. 321 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:20,378 Lucy, where are you? 322 00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:23,381 Oh, give me your coat. 323 00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:24,382 Oh, thank you. 324 00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:25,675 Sit down, won't you? 325 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:26,926 Oh, yes, yes, of course. 326 00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:29,137 Lucy? 327 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,681 I wonder where she could be. 328 00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:32,765 - Well, I... - Hi, Rick. 329 00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,600 - Hiya, Fred. - You seen Ethel? 330 00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:36,352 - No. -Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you had company. 331 00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:37,603 Oh, that's all right. 332 00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:38,855 This is a very good friend of mine, 333 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:42,608 Dr. Robinson, the physaciatrist. 334 00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:43,901 This is our landlord, Mr. Mertz. 335 00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:45,403 How do you do, Mr. Mertz? 336 00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:47,697 - How are you, Doctor? - Very well, thank you. 337 00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:50,158 Listen, don't call him doctor in front of Lucy. 338 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,118 We want her to think that he's just a friend, see? 339 00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,119 Oh. 340 00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,328 Have you seen Lucy? 341 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:55,913 She's probably with Ethel. 342 00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:57,582 Maybe they're out shopping. 343 00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:58,958 Yeah... or shoplifting. 344 00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:01,461 Well, I hope they'll be home soon. 345 00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:03,463 Would you like a cigarette, Doc? 346 00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:04,964 Oh, yes, thank you. 347 00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:09,427 Well, this is the first time I ever smoked one of these. 348 00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:14,599 Gee. 349 00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:16,434 Fred, look at all these jewels. 350 00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:18,936 Sticky fingers strikes again! 351 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,982 Wait a minute-- what's the matter with this chair? 352 00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:23,983 Look at this. 353 00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:25,610 A blowtorch. 354 00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:27,487 A crowball... a crowbar. 355 00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:28,696 Flash. 356 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:29,906 This is terrible. 357 00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:31,657 Let me see what this is. 358 00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:32,783 What is it? 359 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:33,993 Oh, no. 360 00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:38,915 It's the floor plan of the Chase National Bank. 361 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,459 - The 72nd Street branch. - Yeah. 362 00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:43,127 Why, that's where I keep my money. 363 00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:45,171 This is serious. 364 00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:47,673 Oh, I hope I'm not too late to help her. 365 00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:51,636 What's going... 366 00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:53,679 Okay. 367 00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:02,522 - Okay? - Okay. 368 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:03,898 Did you get any of them? 369 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,858 Yeah, I got two-- a flatfoot and a private eye. 370 00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:08,027 I got the eye in the foot and the foot in the eye. 371 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:14,242 I winged a couple myself. 372 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,243 Oh, hiya, Ricky. 373 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,161 Hiya, Lucy. 374 00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:18,538 Hi, Ethel. 375 00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:20,540 Hi, fatso. 376 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,336 Who's the geek? 377 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:29,257 Eh, Lucy, this is a very good friend of mine 378 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,590 Tom... Tom Robinson. 379 00:17:30,715 --> 00:17:33,844 This is my wife, Lucy, and that's Mrs. Mertz. 380 00:17:33,970 --> 00:17:35,638 Oh, how do you do, my dear? 381 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:40,810 [Ricky] Lucy! 382 00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:42,186 What are you doing? 383 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,311 Just frisking him 384 00:17:43,436 --> 00:17:45,273 to see if he's carrying a rod. 385 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,273 Hiya, Tom. 386 00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:47,817 Oh, how do... ouch! 387 00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:50,570 Oh, pardon the brass knuckles. 388 00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,536 Lucy, where have you been? 389 00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:00,204 Chase National Bank. 390 00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:02,039 Oh, no. 391 00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,124 You did it! 392 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:07,169 Nah, stupid here forgot the map and the torch. 393 00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:08,379 I'm sorry, brain. 394 00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:11,299 Yeah... another slip like that 395 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:12,633 and it'll be curtains for you. 396 00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,093 - Understand? - Oh, it won't happen again. 397 00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:15,261 I promise, brain. 398 00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:16,345 Aah, shut up. 399 00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:18,638 [Fred] If you forgot the map... 400 00:18:18,763 --> 00:18:19,932 If you forgot the map, 401 00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:21,350 where'd you get that bag of dough? 402 00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:23,936 Well, just so the evening wouldn't be a total loss, 403 00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:25,646 we knocked over a gas station 404 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:26,689 on the way home. 405 00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:29,567 Oh, no, no, no... 406 00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:31,819 What are you yapping about, tubby? 407 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,864 It beats running this crummy apartment house. 408 00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:36,115 Now, what are you doing... 409 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,618 Listen, come to your senses, will ya?! 410 00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:44,457 Oh... 411 00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:47,292 so you're holding out on me, eh, Babyface? 412 00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:50,296 This gang ain't big enough for the both of us. 413 00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:51,589 No, no, I'm too young to die! 414 00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:53,590 Mrs. Ricardo. 415 00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:54,592 - Yeah? - Mrs. Ricardo... 416 00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:55,676 Yeah. 417 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:58,929 Look me straight in the eye. 418 00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,138 Yeah? 419 00:19:00,263 --> 00:19:03,684 Mrs. Ricardo, you don't hate anyone. 420 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:06,103 You're at peace with all the world. 421 00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:09,773 You love everybody. 422 00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:12,151 Yeah? 423 00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:14,028 Yes. 424 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,321 And you're tired. 425 00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:21,285 You're feeling very tired, aren't you? 426 00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:23,704 Yeah. 427 00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:28,167 And you're getting very drowsy. 428 00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:29,669 Yeah. 429 00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:33,464 You feel so very sleepy 430 00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:37,051 and calm and peaceful. 431 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,303 Yeah. 432 00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:41,180 Relax. 433 00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:46,686 Relax. Relax. 434 00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:50,022 That's a good girl. 435 00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:51,941 Right down there. 436 00:19:52,066 --> 00:19:54,068 Um... 437 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,486 oh, uh... 438 00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:59,448 let's put little, uh, "Tommy" to bed, shall we? 439 00:20:01,157 --> 00:20:02,368 Now, Mrs. Ricardo, 440 00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:03,953 why don't you tell me 441 00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:05,538 how you got started 442 00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:07,205 in this life of crime? 443 00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:09,083 Go back. 444 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,711 Go back into your childhood. 445 00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:15,840 Go back. Back. 446 00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:17,258 Back. 447 00:20:21,679 --> 00:20:23,388 Well, it all started 448 00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:26,726 when I was a little girl. 449 00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:29,895 I was riding on the streetcar one day 450 00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:33,232 and I looked up and I saw a box and it said, "take one." 451 00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:34,900 So I took one. 452 00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:37,737 There was nothing wrong with that. 453 00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:40,364 Oh, yes, there was. 454 00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:44,869 From then on, I took anything that came into my pretty head 455 00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:47,747 even though it didn't say, "take one." 456 00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:49,874 I took a bright, new penny. 457 00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:51,751 I took a bicycle. 458 00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:53,544 I took a little boy. 459 00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:55,129 You took a little boy? 460 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,547 Yeah. 461 00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:59,759 But my mother made me give him back. 462 00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:02,720 And then... then you grew up. 463 00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:04,555 Yeah. 464 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,391 Yeah. 465 00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,310 Yeah. 466 00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:12,313 Yeah, and I began picking pockets. 467 00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,898 I picked a peck of pockets. 468 00:21:15,023 --> 00:21:18,736 Pretty soon I graduated to purse snatching. 469 00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:20,196 Would you like to see my collection? 470 00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:22,907 Well, uh... I don't believe I have time. 471 00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:24,116 Where's my watch? 472 00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:26,076 Right here, sonny. 473 00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:28,913 Come on, dead end. 474 00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:30,414 Okay, brains. 475 00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:34,376 Oh, Ricky, this is much more serious than I realized. 476 00:21:34,502 --> 00:21:36,128 Oh, do you think there's any hope? 477 00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:37,755 - Do you think you can do something? -I don't know. 478 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,632 Hey! That's a lot of purses! 479 00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:40,758 Yeah, I got purses here 480 00:21:40,883 --> 00:21:43,552 that I ain't never opened yet. 481 00:21:43,677 --> 00:21:45,638 Get a load of this loot, sonny. 482 00:21:45,763 --> 00:21:47,640 Get a load of that, will you? 483 00:21:47,765 --> 00:21:49,517 Boy, I been snatching purses 484 00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:51,101 for nigh unto 12 years. 485 00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:52,770 Whoa, boy! 486 00:21:52,895 --> 00:21:55,773 I grabbed this one quicker than I thought. 487 00:21:58,317 --> 00:21:59,401 I remember now-- 488 00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:02,196 Snatched this off a dummy in a store window. 489 00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:03,280 Mrs. Ricardo. 490 00:22:03,405 --> 00:22:04,532 Yeah? 491 00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:07,368 I'm not just a friend of your husband's. 492 00:22:07,493 --> 00:22:08,494 No? 493 00:22:08,619 --> 00:22:10,496 No. I'm a doctor, a psychiatrist. 494 00:22:10,621 --> 00:22:13,082 Now, if you'll undergo treatment with me, 495 00:22:13,207 --> 00:22:15,334 I think I can cure you of all this. 496 00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:17,753 Well... I think I'm cured completely. 497 00:22:17,878 --> 00:22:19,755 I don't think I'll ever steal anything 498 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,215 - as long as I live. - Oh, why? 499 00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:23,425 Well, what is there left? 500 00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:26,846 This morning I achieved my highest desire-- 501 00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:28,763 A kleptomaniac's dream. 502 00:22:28,888 --> 00:22:30,349 What do you mean, Mrs. Ricardo? 503 00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:34,520 Well, I... sandpapered my fingertips, 504 00:22:34,645 --> 00:22:38,232 put on my big coat with the big, secret pocket, 505 00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:41,151 went down to Clyde Beatty Circus. 506 00:22:42,152 --> 00:22:45,155 Down to Clyde Beatty Circus... 507 00:22:45,281 --> 00:22:47,782 What could she possibly get at the Clyde Beatty Circus? 508 00:22:48,909 --> 00:22:50,911 [Ricky] Oh! 509 00:23:18,522 --> 00:23:20,398 The part of the doctor 510 00:23:20,523 --> 00:23:23,068 was played by Joseph Kearns. 511 00:23:59,688 --> 00:24:02,066 I Love Lucy is a Desilu production. 33974

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