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1
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:26,193
Hurry up, dear.
2
00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:28,570
The Mertzes will be here
any minute.
3
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:30,697
[Ricky] I'll be ready, honey.
4
00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:31,949
I was just shaving
5
00:00:32,074 --> 00:00:34,451
so I look real nice
when I go out with my wife.
6
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:37,829
Well, isn't that sweet?
7
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:42,042
I thought you
said you shaved.
8
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:43,126
I did.
9
00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:44,545
What's the matter
with your upper lip?
10
00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:45,796
Is it out of bounds?
11
00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:49,049
You mean my moustache?
12
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:51,093
Your what?
13
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:53,428
My moustache.
14
00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:58,225
Ricky, it's true.
15
00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:00,644
Your upper lip has
whiskers on it.
16
00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:03,522
What do expect, feathers?
17
00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:05,774
No, I expect you to go
in there and shave it off.
18
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,651
You know I don't like
a moustache on you.
19
00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:08,652
Why not?
20
00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:11,196
Because it looks
like an eyebrow
21
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:14,825
and your mouth
keeps staring at me.
22
00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:18,078
Well, I guess it could use
a little eyebrow pencil
23
00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:19,621
until it gets stronger.
24
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,790
Listen, now, we're going
to have this out right now.
25
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,500
You're going in there
and shave that off?
26
00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:24,876
No.
27
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:27,087
Come here.
28
00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:29,506
Oh, darn it.
29
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:30,632
It's still there.
30
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:33,218
I thought maybe I
could singe it off.
31
00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:37,347
Oh, honey, you'll
love my moustache
32
00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:38,932
once you get
used to it.
33
00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:40,892
I will not.
34
00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:43,478
Well, honey, just wait till
it gets a little strunger.
35
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,606
It's never get "strunger."
36
00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,484
You've tried this
before, Ricky.
37
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:50,819
You know you always end up
38
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,904
looking like a little boy
who drank chocolate milk.
39
00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:56,867
Well, you never let me
give it a chance.
40
00:01:56,992 --> 00:01:59,661
This time,
I'm going to cultivate it.
41
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:03,749
What are you going to use
on it-- Vigoro?
42
00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:05,959
Never mind that.
43
00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:08,211
I look wonderful
in a moustache.
44
00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:11,048
You just look silly
in a moustache, Ricky.
45
00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:12,049
I do not.
46
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,343
Here are the Mertzes.
47
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,385
Let's see what they think.
48
00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:17,262
All right,
we'll see.
49
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,183
Well, we'll just see.
50
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:23,810
Just don't put any words
in their mouth.
51
00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:25,895
Don't worry,
I won't have to.
52
00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:27,481
Okay.
53
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:29,358
Hi, folks.
54
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:30,400
- Hi, Lucy.
- Hi, Lucy.
55
00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:31,443
- Hi, Ricky.
- Hiya.
56
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,612
- Hi. -Are you ready
to go to the movies?
57
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,989
You are just in time
to settle something.
58
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:37,032
- We are?
- Yeah?
59
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,742
Yes. As two
impartial observers
60
00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:40,911
- we'd like your opinion
on something. -Yeah.
61
00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:42,829
Well, I'll be
happy to get...
62
00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:45,082
Ricky, you're
growing a moustache.
63
00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:46,667
Gee, it looks
wonderful.
64
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:48,043
Well,
let me see.
65
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,711
Hey, that
looks great.
66
00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:55,008
Now, what did you
want our opinion on?
67
00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:58,637
Nothing, Benedict Ethel.
68
00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:01,389
Well, Ricky and I just,
we had a big, fat argument
69
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:03,350
about how ridiculous
he looks in that moustache
70
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:05,519
and then you had to come in
and louse up everything.
71
00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:07,104
Well, I think
he looks handsome.
72
00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:08,270
[Fred] I do, too.
73
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:09,272
So do I.
74
00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:11,274
Brother.
75
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,151
Besides, I have
a very good reason
76
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:14,695
for growing
this moustache.
77
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:15,737
What is it?
78
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,865
He wants a divorce.
79
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:22,703
You'll change your tune
when you see me as the star
80
00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:26,873
of the new Technicolor motion
picture Moon over Baghdad.
81
00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:28,083
Ricky! You didn't tell me
82
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,961
you were going to star
in a moving picture.
83
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:32,254
Well, I was keeping it...
84
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:33,922
Spring it on you
as a surprise, you know?
85
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,675
You know when you're
leaving for Hollywood?
86
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:37,884
Well, not exactly.
87
00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:40,137
Have you signed
your contract yet?
88
00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:41,722
Well, not exactly.
89
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:43,557
But they've agreed to star you.
90
00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:46,143
Well, not exactly.
91
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:48,437
Well, what exactly?
92
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,772
Well, a talent scout
from Hollywood
93
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,441
is coming to town
to look
94
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,276
for someone to star
in the picture,
95
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,153
and my agent has a friend
96
00:03:56,278 --> 00:04:00,073
whose brother-in-law knows
the talent scout's wife.
97
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,745
Well, what are we waiting for?
98
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:06,413
Let's pack.
99
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,584
[Lucy] Star you in a picture.
100
00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:11,835
Well, don't you worry.
101
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,754
I'll get an appointment
to see him.
102
00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:15,464
Yeah, you'll get
an appointment
103
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,674
if the agent's
friend's brother-in-law
104
00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:20,010
is still speaking to
this talent scout's wife.
105
00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:23,346
Gee, a real, live talent
scout from Hollywood.
106
00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:26,516
Hey, Rick-- ask him if he can
use a song-and-dance man.
107
00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:28,185
And don't forget about me.
108
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:30,187
I used to do
an Oriental dance.
109
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:33,857
♪ La-dee-da-da, da-da-da,
da, da-da-da. ♪
110
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:37,903
I was known
as "The Queen of the Nile."
111
00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:39,112
Oh!
112
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:42,032
She's a little rusty
around Cairo.
113
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,868
Oh, you!
114
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:46,745
All right, come on,
are we going
115
00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:48,038
to go to the movies
or not?
116
00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:49,331
I'm not leaving here
117
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,875
till you shave off
that silly moustache.
118
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,210
Honey... baby doll...
119
00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:55,378
I'm not going
to shave it off,
120
00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:58,048
so why don't you just
relax and enjoy it?
121
00:04:58,173 --> 00:04:59,382
I mean it, Ricky.
I'm not leaving here.
122
00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:00,383
[Ethel] Now, Lucy.
123
00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:01,426
No!
124
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,887
All right.
We'll go without her.
125
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:05,055
Come on.
126
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:06,139
You two go ahead.
127
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:07,641
I'll stay here
with Lucy.
128
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:08,809
All right.
Good-bye, Ethel.
129
00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:10,936
- Come on, Fred.
- Bring me a bag of popcorn
130
00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,062
- Okay.
- with lots of butter.
131
00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:13,688
Yeah, yeah.
132
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:14,689
Got 20 cents, Rick?
133
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:15,857
Come on.
134
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:17,984
Darn that Ricky.
135
00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:20,487
I'll get rid
of his cookie-duster somehow.
136
00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:23,113
You know, my grandfather
used to have a moustache--
137
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,866
A great, big,
long handlebar one--
138
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:27,577
And Grandma got rid of it
in the middle of the night.
139
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:28,954
How?
140
00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:30,080
She tied it around a bedpost
141
00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:31,540
when he was asleep
and then yelled "fire."
142
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:34,209
Oh!
143
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,670
Oh, Ethel!
144
00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:38,839
Hey, that gives me
an idea, though.
145
00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:39,964
It does?
146
00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:41,299
Yeah. Ricky's not going
147
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:43,009
to be the only one
in this family
148
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,010
with a moustache.
149
00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:45,178
What?
150
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:46,178
I'm going to glue on
a false one
151
00:05:46,303 --> 00:05:47,180
and I'm not going
to take it off
152
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,265
till he shaves off his.
153
00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:50,767
Lucy, congratulations.
154
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:51,935
What for?
155
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:54,020
You've finally
topped yourself.
156
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:56,731
This is the craziest
idea you've had yet.
157
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:03,154
[Ethel] Lucy!
158
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:04,281
Where
are you?
159
00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:06,032
I'm in here.
160
00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:08,869
Where have
you two been?
161
00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:10,787
Ricky will be
home any minute.
162
00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:12,539
We had a hard time
finding it.
163
00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:13,999
It was down
at the bottom
164
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,375
of my vaudeville
trunk.
165
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,459
Well, give it here.
Let's see now.
166
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:17,460
I'll have to cut
off the beard.
167
00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:18,628
Oh, no, you don't.
168
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,171
You can't cut
that, Lucy.
169
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:21,798
Those things
are expensive.
170
00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:24,009
Well, I can't wear
the whole thing.
171
00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:25,010
Why not?
172
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:26,136
Yeah,
why not?
173
00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:29,764
Yeah, why not?
174
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:39,024
Uncle Sam wants you.
175
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,319
Show me how to stick
it on, Fred.
176
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:43,320
All right.
177
00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:44,654
This is spirit gum.
178
00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:46,323
Look, I just
put a little
179
00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:48,033
on your upper
lip here.
180
00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:49,951
Oh, that smells awful.
181
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,957
Lucy, I'm home.
182
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,876
[Lucy] Be right there.
183
00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:05,508
Hi, dear.
184
00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:07,260
Hi, honey.
185
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:11,848
How's about giving me
a nice big kiss?
186
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:13,183
There's nothing I...
187
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:20,774
What's the matter?
188
00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:23,234
I thought you were
going to kiss me.
189
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,528
Lucy, where did you
get that thin'?
190
00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,948
What "thin"?
191
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,159
Those whiskers.
192
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,202
What whiskers?
193
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:33,328
These.
194
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,412
Oh, these.
195
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:35,956
Oh, my five-o'clock
shadow?
196
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,707
Guess I didn't
give myself
197
00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:40,001
a very close shave
this morning.
198
00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:42,170
All right, Lucy.
199
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,463
What are you up to?
200
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:44,631
Nothing, nothing.
201
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:46,925
I'm just growing this
so that I can get a part
202
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:50,387
in that Technicolor movie
called Moon Over the North Pole.
203
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:53,473
I'm going to play Santa Claus.
204
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,725
Okay, okay, joke's over.
205
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,769
Now, take that ridiculous thing
off your face.
206
00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,312
It makes you look like a freak.
207
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:01,439
Oh, you think
it looks funny, huh?
208
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:02,691
I certainly do.
209
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,151
Well, now you know
how your moustache looks to me.
210
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:06,778
Oh, so that's it, huh?
211
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:09,239
Well, your little
gag didn't work.
212
00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:10,740
So just take it off.
213
00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:12,033
Nothing doing.
214
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:15,370
I'm not taking it off
till you shave off yours.
215
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,955
Well, I'm
not shaving.
216
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:20,250
Neither am I.
217
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:23,545
Of course, we'll have to change
our name to the Smith Brothers.
218
00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:26,506
And we could always get
219
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:29,217
moustache cups marked
his and hers.
220
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,220
Now, Lucy, you listen to me.
221
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,764
Now, I'm not going
to stand here and...
222
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,272
I can't stand it.
223
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:43,356
You win.
224
00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,025
Take it off
and I'll shave.
225
00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:46,026
Good!
226
00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:47,402
Shave right now.
227
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,779
I got it all
set up for you.
228
00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:51,865
There you are.
229
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:55,326
All right, all right.
230
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,746
You've got more
eyebrow pencil on there
231
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,247
than you have whiskers.
232
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,582
Never mind the cracks.
233
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:01,750
Get it off, now.
234
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:07,047
You missed one
right there.
235
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:15,263
What do you call
this one-- Charlie?
236
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,640
There!
237
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,768
Now you look like
your old self again.
238
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,812
Welcome back,
little lip.
239
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:24,606
Give me a great
big kiss.
240
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:27,692
I'm not going to kiss
you with that thing on.
241
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:30,820
Oh, I forgot.
242
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:39,287
Gee, this must
have been put on
243
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,331
with pretty
strong stuff.
244
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:42,665
Here, let me try, honey.
245
00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:44,793
Ow!
246
00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:46,836
Gosh.
247
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,671
Boy, that's
really stuck.
248
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:51,466
Are you sure you
didn't grow this?
249
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,261
I'd better call Fred
250
00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:57,639
and find out how
to get this off.
251
00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:06,147
[Fred] Hello?
252
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:07,607
Fred, this is Lucy.
253
00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:10,068
Oh, hi, did the joke
come off all right?
254
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:11,861
Yeah, the joke did,
but the beard didn't.
255
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,905
Well, what do you mean?
256
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:17,033
Well, I've tugged and I've
pulled and I can't get it off.
257
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,159
Well, that's funny.
258
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,702
It should come off easy.
259
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:21,246
I just used a little spirit gum.
260
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:24,082
Ricky, get me that bottle
off the dresser, will you, dear?
261
00:10:24,207 --> 00:10:25,083
All right, hon.
262
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:26,501
Fred, y-you
shouldn't have used
263
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:27,502
such old stuff.
264
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,212
Maybe it changes with age.
265
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:30,505
How long have you had it?
266
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,466
Well, now, let's see,
the last date I played
267
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:38,804
was a split week in Peoria
in 1925.
268
00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:41,307
'25?!
269
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:43,268
But spirit gum shouldn't change.
270
00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:44,309
Oh.
271
00:10:44,434 --> 00:10:45,687
Here, honey,
I've got the bottle.
272
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:46,729
Thanks, dear.
273
00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:47,897
I have the bottle
right here, Fred.
274
00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:51,568
It says
"Bulldog Cement"!
275
00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:54,112
Cement?
276
00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:57,448
Yeah. "Bulldog Cement will not
let go. Holds fast forever.
277
00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:58,741
"Can only be removed
278
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:01,452
with Bulldog Cement Remover 3"
279
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:02,787
Oh, no.
280
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,956
Oh, yes!
281
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:15,425
Oh, shut up.
282
00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:18,595
You certainly have a
warped sense of humor.
283
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,601
I'm sorry, honey, I'll ca...
284
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,102
I'll call the...
285
00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:30,064
I'll call the drugstore and see
if they got some of that stuff.
286
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:33,234
They won't have it
in a drugstore.
287
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,612
They have everything
in a drugstore.
288
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,412
Hello.
289
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:47,624
Listen, have you ever heard
of some stuff
290
00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:51,127
called
Bulldog Cement Remover 3?
291
00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:53,254
You have?
292
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:56,466
Oh, I see.
293
00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:58,927
Well, thanks.
294
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,886
They don't make it anymore.
295
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:10,480
You mean... you mean I'll
have to keep this on forever?
296
00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:13,816
Well, honey, I guess
it'll wear off eventually.
297
00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:17,695
Well, what happens
in the meantime?
298
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:18,821
Well, honey,
299
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:20,865
I really should
let you suffer
300
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:23,409
but I don't have
the heart to do it.
301
00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:25,328
There's one
simple solution
302
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:26,828
and I'll do it
for you.
303
00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:28,289
What?
304
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:31,000
I'll get you job as the
bearded lady in the circus.
305
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:32,543
Oh...
306
00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:48,643
Lucy?
307
00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,105
Lucy?
308
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:54,524
Where are you?
309
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,242
Lucy, I wanted to ask...
310
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:05,493
Oh, I beg your pardon.
311
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:06,910
I was looking for...
312
00:13:07,035 --> 00:13:08,705
Good afternoon, ma'am.
313
00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:11,332
Lucy?
314
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:15,920
Colonel Ricardo, at your
beck and call, you all.
315
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:18,923
Lucy, what are you doing
in those clothes?
316
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,342
Well, it's the only
way I can get down
317
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,136
to that little
old drugstore
318
00:13:23,261 --> 00:13:24,554
without people
laughing
319
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:25,722
at little old me.
320
00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:28,391
I thought maybe that
little old druggist
321
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:29,600
could do something
322
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:30,768
for this
little old face.
323
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:33,563
Well, how did you
all do, Colonel?
324
00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:35,106
Bad, powerful bad.
325
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:37,400
Oh, you poor
little old thing.
326
00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:39,360
Didn't he have
any ideas?
327
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,654
Yeah, he said dye the beard red
328
00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:44,157
and the head would match
all over.
329
00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:48,285
Oh, what'll I do?
330
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:56,919
What's the matter?
331
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:59,088
When you chew
with that beard on,
332
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:00,965
you look just like a billy goat.
333
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,636
Nobody but a nanny goat
would notice it.
334
00:14:07,929 --> 00:14:09,849
Well!
335
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:10,933
I've got it.
336
00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:12,101
What?
337
00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:14,102
Nah, you wouldn't
go for it.
338
00:14:14,227 --> 00:14:15,104
What is it?
339
00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:17,106
Well...
340
00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:18,775
Nah, you wouldn't
like it.
341
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,318
Well, give
me a chance.
342
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:21,611
What is it?
343
00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:23,696
Well, we'll tie a string
to your beard.
344
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,198
Yeah.
345
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:27,617
Then we'll tie the other end
of the string to a flat iron.
346
00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:28,951
- Yeah?
- Then I'll throw...
347
00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:31,412
No! Don't throw it.
348
00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:33,623
Oh!
349
00:14:33,748 --> 00:14:36,751
I knew you
wouldn't like it.
350
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:40,129
Look out!
351
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:43,966
Scared me to death.
352
00:14:54,936 --> 00:14:57,397
I think this is safer
for little old me.
353
00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:58,398
Lucy...
354
00:14:58,523 --> 00:14:59,399
What?
355
00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:01,067
You just gave me an idea.
356
00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:03,111
What is it?
357
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,862
Well... we'll set fire
to your beard
358
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:06,447
but I'll stand by
with a hose
359
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,282
to see that it doesn't
get out of hand.
360
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:09,909
Ethel, this is my face.
361
00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:12,995
You're not burning
weeds off a vacant lot.
362
00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:16,541
Who is it?
363
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,877
[Ethel] It's Fred.
364
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:21,838
[Lucy] What do you want?
365
00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:24,090
If I bring good news,
can I come in?
366
00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:25,967
All right.
367
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:27,927
What is it?
368
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,720
I must have made
a thousand phone calls
369
00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:32,181
before I located a
drugstore that sells
370
00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:34,475
Bulldog Cement Remover 3.
371
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,185
Oh, Fred, you doll.
372
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:37,979
Where is it?
373
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:40,189
It's in Chicago.
374
00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:41,732
Chicago?
375
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,276
Yeah, but he's
sending it Air Mail
376
00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:44,694
so it ought to
be here tomorrow.
377
00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:45,820
Oh...
378
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,530
- Now, Lucy, that's not bad.
- No.
379
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:50,408
Oh... Chicago.
380
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:51,534
Hello.
381
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:54,745
Hello, is Monty Woolley there?
382
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:58,499
Did you call me up
just to make gags?
383
00:15:58,624 --> 00:15:59,959
No, this is important.
384
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:02,420
You know that talent scout
I was talking to you about?
385
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:03,421
Yeah?
386
00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:04,505
Well, I talked to him today
387
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,090
and I talked him
into coming to the house
388
00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:07,216
to spend an evening with us.
389
00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:09,051
Oh, Ricky, that's wonderful.
390
00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:10,553
Right in our own home.
391
00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:11,721
When is he coming?
392
00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,055
Tonight.
393
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:14,765
Oh, that...
oh, no, not tonight, Ricky.
394
00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:16,225
Please, not tonight.
395
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:18,269
Well, honey, he's flying back
to Hollywood tomorrow.
396
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:19,937
If I don't get him up
to the house tonight
397
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,606
I'll never get a chance
to see him alone.
398
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,232
B-B-But, Ricky, what about me?
399
00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:26,110
It's my one chance to get
into the movies, too.
400
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:27,987
My beard, remember? My beard!
401
00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:30,823
Well, I'm sorry, honey, there's
nothing I can do about it.
402
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:31,949
Oh.
403
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:34,035
We'll be home about 7:30.
Good-bye.
404
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,203
Good-bye.
405
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,579
Oh, Ricky's bringing
406
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,789
that Hollywood talent scout
to the house tonight.
407
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:40,666
He is?
408
00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:41,792
No kidding?
409
00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:46,506
Uh... Lucy, would you
mind if we dropped in?
410
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:47,840
No, of course not.
411
00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:49,217
Well, we got to go.
412
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,718
Yeah, see
you later!
413
00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:06,567
Here we are,
Mr. Murdoch.
414
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:07,777
Ah.
415
00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:09,445
Let me take
your coat.
416
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:10,780
Oh, thank you.
417
00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:12,406
Make yourself at
home, won't you?
418
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:14,867
Fine. Well, nice place
you have here, Ricardo.
419
00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:16,035
Thank you.
420
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:18,162
Sit down.
421
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:19,747
Thanks.
422
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:20,957
Boy, I'll be glad
423
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:23,334
when that picture,
Moon over Baghdad
424
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,127
is finished
with the casting.
425
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:27,838
Ah... have a cigarette,
won't you?
426
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:29,131
Oh, thank you.
427
00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:36,472
You know, it's nice to spend
an evening someplace else
428
00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:38,474
besides a hotel room
or a theater.
429
00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:39,934
Yes, well, that's
what I thought.
430
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,477
That's why I asked you
to come over here
431
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:43,186
and get a night off
from show business.
432
00:17:43,311 --> 00:17:44,522
Ah, that's
sounds good.
433
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:47,650
Oh!
434
00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:50,403
I wonder how that got here.
435
00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:51,571
What's that?
436
00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:53,281
That's my
old scrapbook.
437
00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:57,994
My wife must
have been doing
438
00:17:58,119 --> 00:17:59,244
some housecleaning.
439
00:17:59,369 --> 00:18:01,205
I haven't seen
this for years.
440
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:02,498
Well, let's see it.
441
00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:04,000
Oh, no, no. This is
your night off.
442
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:06,002
I wouldn't want
to bother you with this.
443
00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:07,086
All right.
444
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:09,088
This is the first part
445
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:10,798
that I had
in New York--
446
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:13,175
Broadway play,
Too Many Girls.
447
00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:14,552
Oh, yeah, yeah.
448
00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:17,430
And, uh, over here's when I
was at the Copacabana.
449
00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:19,181
Oh, it's very
interesting.
450
00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:20,391
Now, this...
451
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:50,087
All right, all
right, all right.
452
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:52,089
- That's enough.
-
453
00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:53,215
Mr. Murdoch,
454
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:55,718
this is our landlord
and our landlady.
455
00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:58,429
Ethel Mertz, former star
of musical comedy.
456
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:00,431
Can sing, dance,
act and do voices;
457
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,016
have wardrobe,
will travel.
458
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,519
Freddy Mertz, formerly
of Mertz and Kertz--
459
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,063
Famous vaudevillians:
460
00:19:07,188 --> 00:19:10,398
soft shoe, tap-dancing
and smart quips.
461
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:16,405
Uh-uh.
462
00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:17,657
- Uh-uh?
- Uh-uh?
463
00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:20,618
Uh-uh.
464
00:19:28,709 --> 00:19:29,627
Uh-uh?
465
00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:31,420
Uh-uh.
466
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:41,097
I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Murdoch.
467
00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:43,182
I must apologize for my friends.
468
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:44,475
Oh, that's
all right.
469
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,645
Just please sit down
and relax and enjoy yourself.
470
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:48,646
I'll put on
471
00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:49,939
a little music here for you.
472
00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:51,232
Fine, fine.
473
00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:02,201
♪ Not so far from here ♪
474
00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:05,246
♪ There's a very
lively atmosphere ♪
475
00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:08,624
♪ Everybody's going there
this year ♪
476
00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:14,046
♪ And there's a reason
the season never closes there ♪
477
00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:16,965
♪ Love and music
you'll find everywhere ♪
478
00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:19,468
♪ People always having fun
down there ♪
479
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:20,928
♪ So come along... ♪
480
00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:25,850
♪ I'm on my way to Cuba ♪
481
00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:29,936
♪ That's where I'm going ♪
482
00:20:30,061 --> 00:20:35,443
♪ Cuba, that's where I'll stay ♪
483
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:41,574
♪ Cuba, where wine is flowing ♪
484
00:20:41,699 --> 00:20:44,994
♪ And where dark-eyed Stellas ♪
485
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:48,164
♪ Light their fellas'
panatelas ♪
486
00:20:48,289 --> 00:20:54,336
♪ Cuba, where it's all happy ♪
487
00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:59,175
♪ Cuba, where all is gay ♪
488
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:04,972
♪ Why don't you plan
a wonderful trip to Havana? ♪
489
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:12,188
♪ Hop on a ship
and I'll see you in C-U-B-A ♪
490
00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:19,737
♪ Why don't you plan
a wonderful trip to Havana? ♪
491
00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:31,832
♪ Hop on a ship
and I'll see you in C-U-B-A. ♪
492
00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:40,132
It's, um... very nice.
493
00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:42,051
Uh, Mr. Murdoch,
you know
494
00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:44,553
we have a lot
of other numbers.
495
00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:45,554
No, I... I...
496
00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:47,138
But I could convert
some of them
497
00:21:47,263 --> 00:21:48,224
into the Arabian
mood, you know.
498
00:21:48,349 --> 00:21:49,225
A little Arabian...
499
00:22:47,616 --> 00:22:51,078
What is this, a stranded
Major Bowes unit?
500
00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:56,166
Mr. Murdoch,
I want you
501
00:22:56,292 --> 00:22:58,042
to meet my
wife, Lucy.
502
00:22:58,167 --> 00:22:59,837
Lucy, this is
Mr. Murdoch.
503
00:22:59,962 --> 00:23:01,130
How do you do?
504
00:23:01,255 --> 00:23:02,798
Well, I'll say one
thing for you, Mrs. Ricardo.
505
00:23:02,923 --> 00:23:04,425
You certainly
dance very well.
506
00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:05,551
Oh, thank you.
507
00:23:05,676 --> 00:23:07,386
You know, we could use
some dancing girls
508
00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:08,637
in our new picture.
509
00:23:08,762 --> 00:23:10,097
Maybe we could
use you.
510
00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:11,307
Oh, really?
511
00:23:11,432 --> 00:23:12,308
Yeah, I imagine so.
512
00:23:12,433 --> 00:23:13,309
Let me see
your face.
513
00:23:13,434 --> 00:23:14,768
Oh.
514
00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:16,020
Oh, no, no, no.
515
00:23:16,145 --> 00:23:18,230
It's, uh, it's just a nose,
a mouth, a chin.
516
00:23:18,355 --> 00:23:19,940
You know, a complete set.
517
00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:22,151
Oh, come on, Mrs. Ricardo.
518
00:23:22,276 --> 00:23:23,819
Take off your veil.
519
00:23:23,944 --> 00:23:24,820
Well...
520
00:23:24,945 --> 00:23:26,030
Oh, yeah,
come on, Lucy.
521
00:23:26,155 --> 00:23:27,196
Take it off.
522
00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:29,450
You keep out of this.
523
00:23:29,575 --> 00:23:30,492
Come on, Lucy.
524
00:23:30,618 --> 00:23:32,244
Ricky, stay
away from me.
525
00:23:32,369 --> 00:23:33,203
Show him your face.
526
00:23:33,329 --> 00:23:34,204
Ricky...
527
00:23:34,330 --> 00:23:35,247
This is your big chance.
528
00:23:35,372 --> 00:23:36,832
You know,
now I'm getting curious.
529
00:23:36,957 --> 00:23:38,500
I've got to see that face.
530
00:23:38,626 --> 00:23:40,002
Yeah.
531
00:23:48,636 --> 00:23:50,512
All right,
all right.
532
00:23:50,638 --> 00:23:52,388
All right.
533
00:23:52,513 --> 00:23:54,683
It's time for
the unveiling.
534
00:23:54,808 --> 00:23:56,226
Well, here's my nose.
535
00:23:56,352 --> 00:23:59,355
My mouth is just below it
and it has teeth
536
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:00,981
and it goes sideways.
537
00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:02,733
All the way.
538
00:24:02,858 --> 00:24:03,984
Ricky!
539
00:24:10,532 --> 00:24:12,868
[Ricky] Hey, honey,
look what just got here.
540
00:24:12,993 --> 00:24:13,994
What?
541
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:15,287
Special delivery letter
from Hollywood.
542
00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:17,498
What does it say?
What does it say?
543
00:24:17,623 --> 00:24:19,708
Well, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
544
00:24:19,833 --> 00:24:21,210
Well, what do
you know?
545
00:24:21,335 --> 00:24:23,379
They want to test
me for the lead.
546
00:24:23,504 --> 00:24:25,047
Oh, Ricky,
how wonderful!
547
00:24:25,172 --> 00:24:26,340
Hey, wait a minute.
548
00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:28,008
They want
to test you, too.
549
00:24:28,133 --> 00:24:29,885
Where? Where? Where?
550
00:24:30,010 --> 00:24:33,513
"We think Mrs. Ricardo
might be perfect for..."
551
00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:36,350
I don't care
what they pay me.
552
00:24:36,475 --> 00:24:39,353
I'm not going to play
the part of your father.
553
00:25:09,842 --> 00:25:13,178
The part of Mr. Murdoch
was played by John Brown.
554
00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:53,677
I Love Lucy is
a Desilu production.
36897
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