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1
00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:25,943
Ricky! Ricky!
2
00:00:28,779 --> 00:00:29,988
Ricky!
3
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:32,031
[Lucy] He isn't home yet.
4
00:00:32,156 --> 00:00:34,743
Oh!
5
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:35,786
And what is this, Ethel?
6
00:00:35,911 --> 00:00:36,828
It's the third time today
7
00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:38,412
you've been up here
asking for Ricky.
8
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,665
Well, Fred and I want to talk
to him about his ad in Variety.
9
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,251
- Ethel... -Ad in Variety?
- Uh-huh.
10
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:43,835
See you later, Lucy.
We got to go.
11
00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:45,045
Ethel, what is it?
12
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:46,505
- Come on, Ethel.
- Ethel, tell me.
13
00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:47,714
- Come on!
- Ethel!
14
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:49,758
Wait a minute!
One of you let go
15
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,219
or I'm going
to have a split personality.
16
00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,930
All right, Ethel,
let's have it.
17
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,558
- Well? -Well, as long as you've
opened your big bazoo,
18
00:00:57,683 --> 00:00:59,768
you might as well tell
her the whole thing.
19
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,103
All right.
20
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,271
You see, it's this way.
21
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,772
We saw Ricky's ad in Variety.
22
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,357
Ricky's ad? What's it for?
23
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:07,526
He's looking for new acts for
his show down at the club.
24
00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:09,528
I didn't see that.
25
00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:11,238
Where's our Variety?
26
00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:12,406
Here it is.
27
00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:14,575
It's inside the back page,
I think.
28
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:15,575
Oh.
29
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:16,910
How do you like that?
30
00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:18,412
He cut it out.
31
00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:19,746
He told me there was
32
00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:21,665
a recipe in here
he wanted to save.
33
00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:23,292
He's a slick one
all right.
34
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,877
He'd do anything to keep you
from going in show business.
35
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:28,922
Yeah, well, what kind of acts
does Tricky Ricky need?
36
00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:30,257
Well, he needs a dance team.
37
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:31,800
That's where Fred
and I come in.
38
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,594
Yeah, anywhere where I come in?
39
00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:35,721
Well, he needs
a good dog act.
40
00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:37,639
Well, thanks a lot.
41
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,099
Fred Mertz!
42
00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:41,602
And the ad said he needed
a beautiful showgirl, too.
43
00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:42,769
- That's me!
- Sure.
44
00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:44,146
Hey, looks like there's a spot
45
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,563
- for all of us in his show.
- Yeah.
46
00:01:45,688 --> 00:01:47,482
And this time,
we're not going to let him
47
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:48,567
- talk us out of it...
- No.
48
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:49,568
Not for one minute.
49
00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:50,652
Hi, everybody.
50
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,174
What's going on here?
51
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:15,344
We're answering your
recipe in Variety.
52
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:16,845
- Oh, so that's it, huh?
- Yeah.
53
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,263
- Yeah, that's it.
- [Lucy humming]
54
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:19,264
Give us a chance
55
00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:21,099
to show you our routine,
will you, Rick?
56
00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:22,934
Come on, you might...
you might like it
57
00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:24,895
if you give us a chance
to show it to you.
58
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,689
[Lucy] Ricky!
59
00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:31,526
Thanks for coming down, folks.
60
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:33,570
And don't call us,
we'll call you.
61
00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:36,573
[Lucy] Ricky, you open this door!
62
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:39,493
I'm sorry, but the casting
office is closed for the day.
63
00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:43,080
- -Ricky,
right now, you open this door!
64
00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:44,706
Who wants to come in--
65
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:48,752
Two dancers and a showgirl
or the Mertzes and my wife?
66
00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:53,256
Well, you'd better make up
your mind.
67
00:02:53,382 --> 00:02:54,299
Who is it going to be?
68
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:08,063
Hold it. Hold it.
69
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,023
- Hold it!
- [Fred] What?
70
00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:11,400
Now, wait a minute.
71
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,735
Now, Ricky, before you say no,
take a good look at us.
72
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,779
Look at the Mertzes;
they're wonderful dancers.
73
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,906
The least you could do
is give them an audition.
74
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,742
♪ Tah-dah! ♪
75
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,662
All right, all right, they
can come down and audition
76
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:26,415
but you're not going to get
any more consideration
77
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:27,416
than anyone else.
78
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:28,917
- Oh, fine, Ricky.
- Good enough.
79
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,460
All right. Now that
that's all settled,
80
00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:31,962
how about a little
game of cards, eh?
81
00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:34,840
- Well, Ricky, what about me?
- Oh, you can play, too.
82
00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:37,926
No, no, I mean you're giving
Fred and Ethel their chance.
83
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,262
Haven't you got a place
for me in the show?
84
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,639
Why, sure, honey.
I got just the place for you.
85
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,391
- Where?
- Out front, in the audience.
86
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:45,767
Oh, you.
87
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:47,936
Ricky, I think
you're being mean.
88
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,439
If you keep Lucy
from doing what she wants to do,
89
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,441
she'll develop
some sort of a complex.
90
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,484
Yeah!
91
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,113
She might become depressed.
92
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,782
Yeah.
93
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,786
She might even go
off her trolley.
94
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:08,874
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
95
00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:12,043
Thank you, Dr. Mertz.
96
00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:15,046
Now, what is it going to
be-- bridge or canasta?
97
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,380
Oh, Ricky,
you make me so mad.
98
00:04:16,505 --> 00:04:18,383
Now, we're going
to have this out right now.
99
00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:20,886
You're never going to let me be
in your show, are you?
100
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:22,220
Never! Never! Never!
101
00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:24,389
Now, honey, don't be so upset.
102
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:25,557
Who knows?
103
00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:28,351
Maybe someday in the
far, distant future,
104
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:30,145
you may get your chance.
105
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,480
Where?
106
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,899
In that big nightclub
up yonder?
107
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:35,317
I can see it now--
108
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,986
Ricky Ricardo
and his Heavenly Revue
109
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,654
starring Lucy
and her magic harp.
110
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,629
Good morning, Lucy.
111
00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,088
Hi.
112
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,761
Pour yourself a cup of coffee.
113
00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:05,263
Thanks. I will.
114
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:06,932
Why don't you sit down?
115
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,892
Don't mind if I do.
116
00:05:10,976 --> 00:05:12,687
Help yourself to a cookie.
117
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:16,190
No, thanks, I'm not hungry.
118
00:05:16,315 --> 00:05:18,193
What are you reading?
119
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,737
Listen, do you remember
last night when you told Ricky
120
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,572
that if I didn't get
into show business,
121
00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:24,407
I might develop
some sort of a complex?
122
00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:25,700
- Yeah.
- Well, you were right.
123
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,369
- Yeah?
- I got this book at the library
124
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,663
and it says anybody
who is constantly frustrated
125
00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:30,705
may do all sorts of things.
126
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:31,873
So?
127
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,041
So, look.
128
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,584
Abnormal Psychology.
129
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:37,921
Yeah, I'm learning
to act abnormal.
130
00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:39,923
For this, you need a book?
131
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:41,216
I thought you were on my side.
132
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,218
I am, but I was
just making all that stuff up
133
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,427
as I went along last night.
134
00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,137
I don't really know
anything about it.
135
00:05:46,263 --> 00:05:48,098
Oh, yes, you do.
Listen to this.
136
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:49,432
"A person who is kept
137
00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:51,767
"from attaining his
innermost desires
138
00:05:51,892 --> 00:05:53,603
"may manifest this frustration
139
00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,105
"in the following ways:
140
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:57,399
"One, he may assume
the characteristics
141
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,734
of the person he is kept
from becoming."
142
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:03,404
Now, you know Ricky's kept me
from becoming a famous actress.
143
00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:04,488
Uh-huh.
144
00:06:04,613 --> 00:06:06,575
"Two, he may develop amnesia."
145
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:07,742
Uh-huh.
146
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:10,452
"Three, he may withdraw
from reality
147
00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:12,956
and become childlike again."
148
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,916
Gee, what a keen bunch
of complexes.
149
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,085
Which one of them
are you going to have?
150
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,671
Which one? I'm going to have
all three of them.
151
00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:22,549
All three of them?
152
00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:24,050
Certainly.
153
00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:26,970
Well, this, I got to see.
154
00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:32,017
Lucy!
155
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,851
I'm home!
156
00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:47,574
Hello, darling.
157
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,248
Hello.
158
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:58,710
How'd things go
at rehearsal, darling?
159
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:02,839
Fine.
160
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:04,716
How'd things go here at home?
161
00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,509
Oh, frightful, darling.
162
00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:08,511
The phone woke me
at the crack of noon.
163
00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:10,347
Noel called.
164
00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:12,766
We chatted till 1 :00,
I bathed till 2:00
165
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,684
turned down
scripts until 3:00.
166
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:18,104
Then Noel darling sent me
the most darling present.
167
00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:20,440
Oh, yes, it was
a darling Cadillac.
168
00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:23,818
You should really see it,
darling, it's darling.
169
00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:29,324
What is this?
170
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,201
What's what, darling?
171
00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:36,790
Why don't you cut it out
and be yourself, huh?
172
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:39,459
I'd be happy to be myself
if I could remember who I am.
173
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:40,919
Who am I?
174
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,298
Who are you?
175
00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:49,427
Well, don't you know either,
buster?
176
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,096
Buster?
177
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:53,723
What kind of a gag is this?
178
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:56,059
Now, Lucy, what are
you trying to do?
179
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:59,813
Lucy... is that my name?
180
00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:03,066
Well, it was
when I left here this morning.
181
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:07,529
Oh, do you live here, too?
182
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:10,031
I have for the past five years.
183
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:13,702
Oh, we'd better get married.
184
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,370
We are married.
185
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,705
Ha!
186
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:20,166
You say that, but how do I know
that it's true?
187
00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:21,835
Honey, what are you
talking about?
188
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,379
You stay away from me, fresh.
189
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,672
Fresh?
190
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:28,508
I was told never to talk
to strange men.
191
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,010
My mother told me...
192
00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:33,138
whoever she is.
193
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:41,563
Honey, are you
sure you're well?
194
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,399
No, I'm not.
195
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,900
Could it possibly be
196
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:48,695
that you're suffering
from magnesia?
197
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,867
Amnesia!
198
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,577
Oh, who am I?
199
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,078
What am I?
200
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,413
Where am I?
201
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:01,166
Oh, honey...
Look, honey. Look around you.
202
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,751
Doesn't this place
look familiar to you?
203
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,253
No. No.
204
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,255
No.
205
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:10,258
No. No.
206
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,718
Oh!
207
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:15,388
No.
208
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,724
No, I never saw this
place before in my life.
209
00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:19,559
Oh, honey, now,
come on, try to think.
210
00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:20,559
Honey, look...
211
00:09:20,684 --> 00:09:21,895
Oh, oh, honey, come here.
212
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,563
- Where?
- Look. Look there. Look.
213
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:26,066
Do you remember this picture?
I gave it to you.
214
00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:28,568
Oh, she's pretty.
215
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:30,195
Who is she?
216
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,405
Honey, I think
you're really sick.
217
00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:35,408
May-May-Maybe you'd better go
and lie down, huh?
218
00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:37,410
All right, I'll go lie down.
219
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:38,410
Yeah.
220
00:09:38,535 --> 00:09:40,246
Tha-That's not
the bedroom, dear.
221
00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:41,247
Oh.
222
00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:42,415
That's not, either.
223
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:43,750
Oh.
224
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,126
No, honey, over...
225
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:47,087
Honey, over here.
That's where the bedroom is.
226
00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:48,088
- Right here, honey.
- Oh.
227
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:49,756
- Now, you take it easy, honey.
- Oh.
228
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:56,929
You have a very lovely
apartment here, mister.
229
00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:00,517
Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay.
230
00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,402
Hello.
231
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:14,155
Hello, is Dr. Stevenson in?
232
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,490
Oh.
233
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,951
Well, look, please-please
tell him to call me
234
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:19,160
as soon as he gets in.
235
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,328
Oh, this is Ricky Ricardo.
236
00:10:21,453 --> 00:10:22,664
Yes.
237
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,499
It's about my wife.
238
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,668
She's acting peculiar.
239
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,962
Yeah, I know, I know.
240
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:34,092
Well, this time it's even worse.
241
00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:37,178
What?
242
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:38,847
Oh, I see.
243
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:42,016
I should humor her
until-until the doctor calls me.
244
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,059
All right, all right,
I'll humor her.
245
00:10:44,184 --> 00:10:45,145
Yes.
246
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,146
Bye.
247
00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,481
Hi!
248
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:49,857
Hi!
249
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,446
You want to play with me,
little boy?
250
00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,323
Will you?
Huh? Huh? Huh?
251
00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:59,492
Yeah, sure, sure,
I'll play with you.
252
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,035
Take a lick of my sucker.
253
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:02,578
Go on.
254
00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:05,081
Take a big lick. Go on.
255
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,541
That's enough.
256
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:15,800
You want to play games,
little boy?
257
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:17,594
Sure, yeah, I'll
play a game with you.
258
00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:20,054
Okay, I'll be the leader.
You stay where you are.
259
00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:22,223
- You want to play "May I?"
- Yeah, whatever you say.
260
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,559
- Okay, you stay right there,
now. -All right.
261
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,269
- Don't you go away.
- I won't, no
262
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:28,730
Okay, you take two giant steps.
263
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,064
All right.
264
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,232
May I?
265
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:33,943
No!
266
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:36,196
I want you to take me
for a ride.
267
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,197
All right.
268
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:38,198
On my tricycle.
269
00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:39,199
Now, wait a minute...
270
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:40,950
On my tricycle!
On my tricycle!
271
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,790
- All right.
- All right.
272
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:48,917
All right, on the tricycle.
273
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,001
- All right.
- I'll take you.
274
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:51,336
- I'll take you.
- On the tricycle.
275
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:52,545
All right.
276
00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:54,130
On the tricycle,
I'll take you for a ride.
277
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:55,381
Whee! Whee!
Ring the bell!
278
00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:56,799
Ring the bell!
Ring the bell!
279
00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,468
Toot the horn!
Toot the horn!
280
00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:00,220
- Toot the horn!
- All right!
281
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:02,639
- No eyes! No eyes!
- Toot the horn! Toot the horn!
282
00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:02,804
-
- All right! All right!
283
00:12:02,804 --> 00:12:05,892
-
- All right! All right!
284
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,941
You pushed me!
285
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,293
Hi, Rick.
286
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,837
Hello, Fred.
287
00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:37,840
How's Lucy? Does she still
think she's a child?
288
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:39,676
Yeah.
289
00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:42,011
She's in the bedroom
with Ethel.
290
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:43,804
They're playing jacks.
291
00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:45,807
Ricky, I got to
tell you something.
292
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:47,809
Not now, Fred.
Not now; later, please.
293
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,644
Lucy is faking.
294
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,688
Look, Fred,
we'll talk about it later.
295
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:54,482
The most important thing
right now is her heal...
296
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:00,280
What do you mean,
she's faking?
297
00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:01,948
I was downstairs
in the basement
298
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,741
listening
through the furnace pipe,
299
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:06,369
and I heard everything
that Lucy and Ethel said.
300
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,288
Well, why didn't
you tell me before?
301
00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:12,041
It took me an hour
to get my head out of the pipe.
302
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,337
Why, that little monkey.
303
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:19,340
She'll do anything to get
in the act, won't she?
304
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:21,301
Looks like.
305
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:23,594
Oh, brother, I got
a wonderful idea.
306
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:27,098
I'm going to teach her a lesson
she will never forget.
307
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,144
Are you phoning the doctor?
308
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:33,313
No.
309
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:36,482
I'm phoning an actor
friend of mine, Hal March.
310
00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:39,902
Hello.
311
00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:41,070
[Ricky] Hello, Hal?
312
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:42,322
Who's this, Ricky?
313
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:43,740
Yeah, this is Ricky.
314
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:47,285
Listen, Hal, I got a job
for you-- the part of a doctor.
315
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:49,120
Good. What's the show?
316
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:52,540
Well, the show is called, uh...
"Getting Even with Lucy,"
317
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,626
and it all takes place
right here in my apartment.
318
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:57,128
What?
319
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:59,297
Yes, here's the way it goes.
320
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:01,631
Lucy's been pretending
that she's sick
321
00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:03,593
so that I'd feel sorry for her
322
00:14:03,718 --> 00:14:05,803
and give her a part
in my new show.
323
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,764
So I want you to come over here
324
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:09,265
and pretend
that you're a doctor, see?
325
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:10,808
And while you're giving her
a checkup,
326
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:15,980
you will discover that she has
a very unusual condition.
327
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:20,318
Uh... some rare
tropical disease.
328
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:22,320
Like what?
329
00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:23,321
I don't know.
330
00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:24,322
Make it up.
331
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:27,241
Be tough
to keep a straight face.
332
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,035
It's an awful dirty trick,
Ricky.
333
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:30,578
Yeah, I know.
334
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,580
Like they say in Mexico,
335
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:35,666
"Mi amigo,
alla va el zorrillo."
336
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,168
What's that mean?
337
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,462
I'm a real stinker.
338
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,599
What comes after twosies?
339
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:52,767
Threesies.
340
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,394
Oh, yeah.
341
00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:00,900
I'd forgotten
how much fun this was.
342
00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:03,528
-
- Yes?
343
00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:04,612
[Ricky] May I come in?
344
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:06,823
Oh, yes.
345
00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:11,452
How do you feel, little girl?
346
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:13,037
Oh, she's not at all well.
347
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,747
She has a terrible fever.
348
00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:20,002
I feel fine, mister.
349
00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:21,712
I'm playing jacks.
350
00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:27,051
Oh, Ethel,
it's all my fault.
351
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,011
I wish she would snap out of it.
352
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:31,973
You know, I just decided
to star her in the club.
353
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:34,725
Ricky, that's wonderful.
354
00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:37,895
Wow, what do you know?!
She got her memory back.
355
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:41,107
Oh, yes, I know who I am.
356
00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:44,402
I'm Lucy, and you're Ricky.
357
00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:46,070
Ethel!
358
00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:47,822
Welcome home, honey.
359
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:51,868
Well, when do we
start rehearsal?
360
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,161
Now, wait a minute, honey.
361
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,162
Wait a minute.
362
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,746
You know, you've been very sick.
363
00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:57,415
So I asked a doctor
to come over.
364
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:58,624
A doctor?
365
00:15:58,749 --> 00:15:59,792
Yes. You can't take a hard job
366
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:01,085
like that without a checkup.
367
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:02,128
But I feel fine.
368
00:16:02,253 --> 00:16:03,754
Oh, no, no, no,
never mind that.
369
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:04,922
But I feel fine.
370
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:06,424
Doctor!
371
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:08,217
Come in, Doctor.
372
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:11,762
This is my wife Lucy,
Doctor.
373
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:13,431
How do you do,
Mrs. Ricardo?
374
00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:14,765
I feel fine.
375
00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:17,226
- Yeah. Well, would you
remove this, please? -Yeah.
376
00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:18,269
I-I won't need that.
377
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:19,270
Excuse me.
378
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,463
Well, now...
379
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:47,381
Oh... oh...
380
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:50,051
I'm glad you called
me in, Mr. Ricardo.
381
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,802
- Pretty bad, huh?
- Oh, yes.
382
00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:54,138
Now, if you'll just open
your mouth, Mrs. Ricardo
383
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:55,389
and stick out your tongue.
384
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:56,390
- Say, "Ah."
- Ah.
385
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:57,391
- Ah. -Ah.
386
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:58,476
- Ah.
- Ah.
387
00:16:58,601 --> 00:16:59,644
- Ah. -Ah.
388
00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:01,395
- Uh-oh.
- Uh-oh.
389
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:07,193
What is it, Doctor?
390
00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:10,154
I don't know yet.
391
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,156
Is it very bad, Doctor?
392
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:13,282
We'll have to see.
393
00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:14,617
Well, I feel fine.
394
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:15,785
Yeah, well, I'm...
395
00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:17,578
Please, please, Mrs. Ricardo,
don't talk.
396
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:18,955
You may need all
your strength.
397
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,164
Just hold that right there.
398
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,499
Now, if you'll
just turn around
399
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:23,334
and give me a little
cough, Mrs. Ricardo.
400
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:24,335
A little cough?
401
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:26,337
Louder.
402
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:28,339
Louder.
403
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,344
Now, Mrs. Ricardo
404
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,805
if you'll just give
me one good cough.
405
00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:44,647
Hmm, just as I feared.
406
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:45,648
Oh...
407
00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:46,648
Well, what is it?
408
00:17:46,773 --> 00:17:48,317
You can tell me;
I can take it.
409
00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:50,152
Frankly, Mrs. Ricardo,
410
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:52,946
you've contracted a
terrible, terrible attack
411
00:17:53,071 --> 00:17:54,907
of the go-bloots.
412
00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:58,119
Go-bloots?
413
00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:00,705
Doctor, what kind
of a disease is that?
414
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,416
Well, we doctors don't know
too much about it,
415
00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:06,167
but there's a terrible epidemic
of it lately.
416
00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:08,879
It seems... it seems it came
into the country
417
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,257
on the hind legs
of the booshoo bird.
418
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:17,930
I got the go-bloots
from a booshoo bird?
419
00:18:18,055 --> 00:18:20,391
Ew...
420
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:24,604
Tell me, Doctor, is it
very, very serious?
421
00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:25,646
Well, Mr. Ricardo,
422
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,648
I may as well be honest
with you.
423
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:30,151
If it gets worse,
we may have to operate.
424
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:31,277
Operate?
425
00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:35,823
Yes, we'll have to go in
and take out your zorch.
426
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,328
My zorch?!
427
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:43,289
There's nothing wrong
with my zorch.
428
00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:46,417
Now, now, don't be alarmed,
Mrs. Ricardo.
429
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:49,795
Some people go on for years
without a zorch.
430
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,797
Well, is the
operation painful?
431
00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:56,093
No, no, we anesthetize
thoroughly for a zorchectomy.
432
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:58,262
Well, tell me, Doctor, uh...
433
00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:01,849
would you be forced
to remove the entire zorch?
434
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:07,772
Well, Mr. Ricardo, we may be
very fortunate and save half
435
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:09,273
and as I always say,
436
00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:11,859
half a zorch is better
than none.
437
00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:23,412
Of course,
even if I'm able to save half,
438
00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:27,041
you'll never be able to...
trummel again.
439
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,919
I won't?
440
00:19:30,044 --> 00:19:31,754
Oh...
441
00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:33,381
What's trummeling?
442
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:36,425
Well, it's an involuntary
internal process.
443
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:37,760
Oh.
444
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:41,097
Doctor, is there anything
we can do for her?
445
00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:43,391
All we can do is just wait.
446
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,477
She should reach the crisis
very soon.
447
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:50,314
Just wait and hope
that she doesn't turn green.
448
00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:52,483
Green!
449
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:53,651
Yes, yes, green.
450
00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:55,319
That's the danger sign.
451
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:56,987
Well, what happens then?
452
00:19:57,113 --> 00:20:00,407
If you turn green,
a half hour later...
453
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:02,159
...gone.
454
00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:03,953
Gone?
455
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:06,372
Gone.
456
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:17,675
Deal me out, boys.
457
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:18,676
How's the patient?
458
00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:20,594
Did the patient got rid
of the go-bloots?
459
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,347
I'm afraid not, Fred.
460
00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:25,349
She just turned green.
461
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:26,559
Now, don't be silly.
462
00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:28,686
There's no such thing
as go-bloots.
463
00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:30,020
- Thanks.
-
464
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:31,522
I know, I know...
465
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:35,025
but there's such a thing
as a green lightbulb.
466
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:36,359
You didn't...
467
00:20:36,484 --> 00:20:37,862
Yes, I did.
468
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:39,696
Oh, you rascal, you.
469
00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:43,117
I sneaked in there
when she was asleep
470
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,036
and I put a green lightbulb
in the lamp by her bed.
471
00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:48,205
Well, how did you keep
Ethel from finding out?
472
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:49,540
I sent Florence Nightingale
473
00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:51,375
to the drugstore
for some aspirin.
474
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:52,542
Oh, good.
475
00:20:52,667 --> 00:20:54,170
Now, listen, when
she comes back,
476
00:20:54,295 --> 00:20:56,547
- you'd better get her to bed.
- Why?
477
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:59,008
Well, she told me
that she's starting
478
00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:01,552
to feel some pains
in her zorch, too.
479
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:03,471
Oh, no, no.
480
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,473
[Lucy] Ricky! Ricky!
481
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:08,517
- Come on, the fun
is about to begin. -Ricky!
482
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:10,436
- Ricky!
- I'm coming! I'm coming!
483
00:21:11,645 --> 00:21:13,522
- Ricky...
- What's the matter, honey?
484
00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:15,858
My hands, they're green.
485
00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:17,067
Why, they are.
486
00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:18,444
Your face is green, too.
487
00:21:18,569 --> 00:21:21,238
Oh, no! Give me the mirror,
give me the mirror.
488
00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:24,074
Oh! Oh! Oh!
489
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:25,367
Oh, my face!
490
00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:26,660
And my hair!
491
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:30,039
Oh... Ricky... Oh!
492
00:21:30,164 --> 00:21:31,207
Oh!
493
00:21:31,332 --> 00:21:33,167
You got the go-bloots, too.
494
00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:36,253
What are you talking about?
495
00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:37,505
You're both green.
496
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:38,506
We are?
497
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:39,507
No, Fred.
498
00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:41,592
She doesn't know
what she's saying.
499
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:43,844
Fred, do I look green to you?
500
00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:44,845
No.
501
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:46,430
You don't look
green to me, either.
502
00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:48,015
Oh, no.
503
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:51,769
I'm looking at the world
through green-colored eyeballs.
504
00:21:51,894 --> 00:21:53,436
[Ethel] Lucy, here's your pill.
505
00:21:53,561 --> 00:21:55,272
Take one of these,
and you'll...
506
00:21:56,523 --> 00:21:57,441
You're green.
507
00:21:57,566 --> 00:22:00,152
I've been sick.
508
00:22:02,404 --> 00:22:06,367
Oh... you poor
little green thing.
509
00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:08,369
Oh, this is it, Ricky.
510
00:22:08,494 --> 00:22:11,121
This is it, I'm going.
511
00:22:11,247 --> 00:22:12,122
Good-bye, Ethel.
512
00:22:12,248 --> 00:22:13,123
Good-bye.
513
00:22:13,249 --> 00:22:14,291
Good-bye, Fred.
514
00:22:14,416 --> 00:22:15,960
So long, chum.
515
00:22:16,085 --> 00:22:17,461
Good-bye, Ricky.
516
00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:19,296
Now, wait a minute, honey.
517
00:22:19,421 --> 00:22:20,464
Don't go yet.
518
00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:22,007
Why not?
519
00:22:22,132 --> 00:22:25,803
Well, I asked some of the boys
in the band to come over here
520
00:22:25,928 --> 00:22:27,638
and play a farewell
dirge for you.
521
00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:28,973
What'd he say?
522
00:22:29,098 --> 00:22:30,850
Some of the boys in the band
came over
523
00:22:30,975 --> 00:22:32,142
to play a farewell dirge.
524
00:22:32,268 --> 00:22:33,310
Oh.
525
00:22:33,435 --> 00:22:35,855
Well, I'll try to hang on.
526
00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:41,193
I wouldn't want them to have
made the trip for nothing.
527
00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:43,988
Good girl, good girl.
528
00:22:44,113 --> 00:22:45,656
All right, fellas!
529
00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:46,657
Fellas!
530
00:22:46,782 --> 00:22:48,284
Come in.
531
00:23:02,756 --> 00:23:04,340
All right, fellows.
532
00:23:04,465 --> 00:23:09,138
Now, please, this is the last
music that she will ever hear.
533
00:23:09,263 --> 00:23:11,473
So make it sweet.
534
00:23:52,681 --> 00:23:54,558
What kind
of music was that?
535
00:23:54,683 --> 00:23:57,686
Yeah, watch it, will you,
fellas? I'm dying.
536
00:24:00,147 --> 00:24:02,398
Lucy, I have something
to tell you, honey.
537
00:24:02,523 --> 00:24:03,609
What?
538
00:24:03,734 --> 00:24:06,236
There's no such thing
as the go-bloots.
539
00:24:06,362 --> 00:24:09,448
How can you look me
in my green eye and say that?
540
00:24:09,573 --> 00:24:11,617
Well, honey, you're
not green either.
541
00:24:11,742 --> 00:24:12,618
Show her, Fred.
542
00:24:12,743 --> 00:24:14,078
All right.
543
00:24:14,203 --> 00:24:16,330
A green lightbulb?
544
00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:17,455
Yeah.
545
00:24:17,580 --> 00:24:19,625
Then you mean
I'm not really sick at all?
546
00:24:19,750 --> 00:24:21,794
No, honey,
you're perfectly well.
547
00:24:21,919 --> 00:24:25,089
You were just pretending
all the time, you big bum.
548
00:24:25,214 --> 00:24:26,590
Now, wait a minute.
549
00:24:26,715 --> 00:24:29,760
Remember, you pretended
first, you know.
550
00:24:29,885 --> 00:24:32,179
This makes us igual Pascual.
551
00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:33,681
What does that mean?
552
00:24:33,806 --> 00:24:35,808
That's "even Steven"
in Spanish.
553
00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:40,020
Come here.
554
00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:42,606
I guess you're right, honey.
555
00:24:55,327 --> 00:24:57,621
Well, when do we
start rehearsing?
556
00:24:57,746 --> 00:24:58,830
Rehearsing?
557
00:24:58,955 --> 00:25:00,874
You said I could be
the star of the show.
558
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,960
Now, wait a minute,
honey. I only said...
559
00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:04,336
Ricky, you promised me.
560
00:25:04,461 --> 00:25:06,797
You said I could be
the star of the show.
561
00:25:06,922 --> 00:25:09,174
I didn't force you
to say it, you know.
562
00:25:09,299 --> 00:25:11,635
Now, Ricky, you made me
a promise and...
563
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:12,803
What's the matter?
564
00:25:12,928 --> 00:25:13,971
Ricky?
565
00:25:14,096 --> 00:25:16,056
Ricky, what's the matter?
566
00:25:16,181 --> 00:25:18,559
Ricky!
567
00:25:18,684 --> 00:25:20,686
Who am I?
568
00:25:22,855 --> 00:25:25,065
What am I?
569
00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:26,567
Where am I?
570
00:25:26,692 --> 00:25:28,402
Oh, I give up, I give up.
571
00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:29,737
You win.
572
00:25:53,969 --> 00:25:57,556
The part of Hal March
was played by Hal March.
573
00:26:37,763 --> 00:26:40,891
I Love Lucy
is a Desilu production.
38503
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