All language subtitles for I.Love.Lucy.S01E07.The.Séance.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track4_[eng]

Good morning, dear.

Uh, what cooks
with the breakfast?

Yes, dear.

Oh, breakfast, yeah.

Oh, oh.

What's so interesting?

Numerology,
it's just fascinating.

Oh, no. What happened
to reading palms,

tea leaves and horoscopes?

Nothing, only this is so much
better than any of them.

Oh, it's a lot
of nonsense.

It is not. Now you read that
book and see for yourself, Five.

Five?

Yeah, that's your name in
numerology-- I figured it out.

Oh, no.

Drink your two
before it gets cold.

Now, wait a minute, before this
thing gets out of hand

I think I'd better nip it
in the three.

Watch your language!

Now look, honey,
you're a grown woman

and this is
the 20th century.

Why don't you forget

all these superstitions
and crazy ideas?

They are not
crazy ideas.

For all you know,
Ricky Ricardo,

you might be going through life
with the wrong name.

Hey, I'd better figure out
the right one for you.

Maybe if you're something
besides five,

it'll help our vibrations.

Lucy.

What?

Don't you like
the way I vibrate?

Oh, now you be quiet.

Let me figure this out.

Let's see now, two and three
are five and "C" is six.

Now we need four and "O" is two.

There you are.

That's the perfect name.

Uh-oh.

What is it?

Genevieve.

That'd be interesting.

Of course, you'll have to buy
towels marked "hers" and "hers."

Look, I got
a wonderful idea.

Why don't you just
call me Ricky Ricardo

and forget all the
numerology nonsense, huh?

Uh-oh, you dropped
some silverware.

That means
company is coming.

And it's a fork. That means
it's going to be a woman.

Oh, and my palm itches.

You know what
that means, don't you?

The woman is wearing
woolen underwear?

No.

You didn't take a shower
this morning.

No. it means I'm going
to get some money.

Ha!

Now, you just watch--
a woman is going to come

to the door today
and give me some money.

I tell you what,
my witch doctor friend--

I'll make a deal with you.

What?

If a woman comes
to the house

and gives you
some money,

I will give you
ten bucks.

Oh, you're a doll!

Thank you.

But...

Oh, but.

Yes, but...

if this loaded female
does not appear, huh,

you will forget all
about these horoscopes,

numerology and superstition

and all the rest of the
nonsense, all right?

- It's a deal.
- It's a deal.

Good morning, Lucy.

She's a woman.

I guess so.

Well, thanks.

Now that that's settled,
how are you, Three?

I'm fine, Seven.

Oh.

Five got out on the wrong side
of the bed this morning.

Here's the mail.

Mr. Six just brought it.

Oh, thank you.

And here's the dollar
I borrowed from you yesterday.

Thank you.

Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay.

I'd better leave
for rehearsal

before I lose
my sanity.

Good-bye, Three.

Good-bye, Five.

Why do you have
that idiotic smile on your face?

I was just thinking
of a perfect 16 I used to know.

Oh, get out of here.

Hey, by the way, my barber is
going to call this morning

to see if I can make it
this afternoon for a haircut.

Tell him yes.

Oh, wait a minute
now, wait a minute.

I want to look up
your horoscope.

This might not be a good day
for you to have a haircut.

Good-bye, Lucy.

Wait a minute, here it
is-- Gemini, Gemini.

"This is your big day.

Everything you do today
will turn out well."

Okay, Ricky, it's all right
for you to get a haircut.

Well, I don't know.

I'm worried.

About what?

You'd better look up the barber

and see if it's a good day
for him to give me a haircut.

Oh...

Now you go on.

You feel free
to say yes

to everything today
no matter what it is.

Oh, boy, will I!

Let's see
what my horoscope is.

What are you, Ethel?

I'm Leo.

And the old lion
sure is in a rut.

It says exactly the same
thing it said yesterday.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Matter of fact, this
is yesterday's paper.

What?

Uh-huh. See?

Oh, no!
And I told Ricky

to say yes to
everything today

- and this may be his "no" day.
- Oh.

What did I do
with today's paper?

Oh, no.

Oh.

I got to find
that horoscope.

Here it is--
Gemini, Gemini, Gemini.

What does it say?

"This is not your day.

"Danger lurks everywhere.

"Climb in a hole
and pull the hole in after you.

Don't agree to anything."

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, poor Ricky.

Out with a "yes"
on his lips on a "no" day.

He shouldn't even go
to the barber.

He might lose an ear
or something.

That must be
the barber.

Hello.

No, the answer is no.

Look, Ricky told me
you were going to call,

and the answer is no-- N-O.

See here, what is your name?

Merriweather?
Well, listen, Merriweather,

I'm going to recommend
to Mr. Ricardo

that he have nothing
more to do with you.

One of his sideburns
is always higher

than the other anyway.
Good-bye.

That takes care
of Merriweather.

You sure saved Ricky from that.

I'd better call him at the club

and tell him
to come home and hide.

I got to go.

So long, Three.

Good-bye, Seven.

Lucy!

[Lucy] Oh, honey,
am I glad you came back!

I was reading
the wrong newspaper.

This is one of your bad,
bad days of all time.

You can't talk
to anybody

or transact
any business.

You'd better
get in bed

and pull the covers
over your head.

I think I'm reasonably safe
sitting here.

Well, honey,
I don't know.

Did anybody call?

Just the barber--
I told him no.

- Nobody else?
- No.

Well, good. I came back because
I remember I'm expecting

a very important phone call
here this morning.

What about?

I don't want to talk about it.

It's bad luck to talk about
a big deal before it's set.

Just keep your fingers crossed.

Well, if it's that big,
I'll do better than that.

Aren't you overdoing
it a little?

I'm not finished yet.

Well, that should keep
the bad spirits away.

Now, go in the kitchen
and do your dishes

and don't think
about it anymore.

The call should come
through any minute.

Well, I'm not gonna
uncross anything.

You sure
nobody called?

Just the barber.

Well, that's good,
because I want to make sure

to talk to Mr. Merriweather
personally.

What's the matter?

Ricky, what's
your barber's name?

Nick.

Nick what?

Vascalupas.

Just as a matter
of idle curiosity,

who's Mr. Merriweather?

Well, I guess there's
no harm in telling you.

He's one of the biggest
theatrical producers in town,

and he's going to call
me here this morning

and offer me a job
in one of his next shows.

Isn't that wonderful?

Oh, yeah, wonderful.

Ah, honey, if this
thing comes through,

all our worries are over.

You can have anything
that you ever dreamed about.

I'm going to buy you

the biggest diamond
ring in town.

Diamond ring?

Yes, and I'm going to buy you
a full-length mink coat.

A mink coat?

And-and the longest,
shiniest Cadillac

in the whole world.

Lucy, is there
something wrong?

Oh, Ricky, I've done
a terrible thing.

But before I tell you,
is there any chance

that Vascalupas has changed
his name to Merriweather?

Lucy...

Lucy?

What have you done?

Lucy, what have
you done?!

Stand still
and I'll tell you.

- Well?
- Well, Mr. Merriweather called

and I thought it was
the barber and I told him no.

- What?!
- I was only trying to help!

Help?!

Help!

I'll call him and explain.

You'll do better than that.

You're going to go
down there in person

on your knees.
Come on.

Oh, won't we get there
faster if we take a cab?

Come on.

Tillie.

Tillie!

Tillie, if you can hear me,
answer on the Ouija board.

Yes?

Oh, send them in.

Hello, Mr. Ricardo.

Hello,
Mr. Merriweather.

This is my
wife, Lucy.

She has something
to tell you.

Oh, how charming.

Mr. Merriweather,
it was a big mistake

saying no to you today.

You see, I thought...

Oh, wait, please, please.

I can't discuss
any more business today.

It's after 12:00.

After 12:00?

Yes. My horoscope says no more
business after noon today.

Oh, you follow horoscopes?

Yes.
I'm Scorpio.

Oh, I'm Taurus.

I'm cooked.

Well, won't you,
won't you sit down?

Yes.

You see, you see,
Mr. Merriweather,

the reason that I said no

was because Ricky's
horoscope said

that it was a very bad day
for him to accept anything.

Oh, yes,
I understand perfectly.

Well, Mr. Merriweather,
if you understand,

maybe we could
discuss about...

Oh, Ricky,
if the stars say

that he can't
discuss business,

that means he can't discuss it.

Now, you see, important people
like Mr. Merriweather

are interested in horoscopes,
numerology and all of that.

Oh, you study
numerology?

Of course.

I'm a one.

I'm a three.

I'm a five.

We're all odd, aren't we?

Do you Ouija?

How's that?

Do you...
do you Ouija?

Well, I'm not sure.

I mean, have you
had any success

with the Ouija board?

Oh, Ouija board!

Oh, no, I haven't gotten
around to that yet.

Oh, too bad--
I've worn out three of them

trying to contact
my dear, departed Tillie

who left me three years ago.

Oh, I understand.

I wish I could find
a good séance.

You wouldn't
happen to know

where they're
having one,

Mrs. Ricardo,
would you?

Well, now,
it just happens

that we're having a séance
at our house tonight.

We are?

Oh, we are, we are.

And we'd love
to have you come.

We just happen to have
a vacant chair.

Oh, I just can't wait.

Who knows? I may even get
to talk to Tillie tonight.

Lucy, this is
just plain silly.

If Mr. Merriweather
finds out

that we're doing
this just for him,

he'll never
give me a job.

Oh, honey,
he won't find out.

Now, Ethel will
be the medium

and you and I and Fred
will just it here hold hands.

Well, what good would that do?

Well, now, you never can tell.

Before the evening is over,
we may see a spook.

Don't tell me you invited
your mother.

Well!

Introducing Rhea,
the medium.

Well done,
medium Rhea.

Ethel, you look
sensational.

That's a wonderful getup.

Isn't it?

Fred, what are you
doing with this?

It's not a Shriners'
convention, you know.

Come on, Fred, help
me get some ice.

All right.

Oh, bring the
bucket, will you?

Ethel, I want to tell
you something

before the boys
come back.

- What?
- I have a feeling

we're going to contact
the other side tonight.

Yeah? What makes
you think so?

Shake hands with
Tillie Merriweather.

Huh?

Ricky will kill me if he
knows what I'm planning,

but after everybody
gets seated,

I'm going to sneak
away from the circle

and I'm going to be
the voice of Tillie.

Where will you be?

Well, I'll be right over there
behind you, near the fireplace.

Help me with the chairs.

Listen, Fred, Lucy will kill me
for even thinking about this,

but as long as we're going
to go through with the séance,

Mr. Merriweather might as well
really contact his wife.

Yeah.

Now, would you
care to help me,

Mrs. Merriweather?

I think you've
snapped your twig, son.

Now look, Fred,
it's very simple.

All you have to do
is pretend

that you have
a headache

and that you want to go
downstairs to bed, see?

Then, as soon as
the séance gets going,

I'll stamp my foot
twice, you sneak up,

and pretend to be the voice
of Mrs. Merriweather.

Now, do you think you can sound
like a female spirit?

Well, I don't know,

but I can certainly try,
oh, dear old boy.

Good girl.

I mean, uh...

I meant good boy.

Now listen, Fred, don't be
too obvious about the headache.

We don't want them
to suspect anything.

Don't ham it up.

Fred, is
something wrong?

It's my head.

Oh.

Aren't we going
to have fun

at this séance?

Well, I guess so.

You look seriously
ill to me.

Oh, if it's his head,
he's all right.

There's nothing
up there to hurt.

Why, you cruel,
heartless woman,

speaking to a sick
man like this

without any sympathy.

Fred, you'd better go
to bed downstairs.

Go to bed, Fred.

Oh, good evening,
Mr. Merriweather. Come in.

- Hello, Mrs. Ricardo.
- Good evening.

Oh, good evening,
Mr. Merriweather.

- I'll take your coat and hat.
- Thank you.

Mr. Merriweather, uh,
I'd like to present

Madame Ethel Mertzola.

She's going to be
our medium tonight.

She's psychopathic.

How do you do?

Oh,
how do you do?

Oh, I've been thinking
about this all afternoon.

You know, I have a
feeling that tonight

I'm going to
contact Tillie.

- So have I.
- So have I.

Well, is
everybody ready?

Yes, I feel real trancey.

Good.

Uh, you sit here,
Mr. Merriweather.

Ricky, you're
over there, dear.

All right.

I'll turn out
the lights.

Okay, I'll move
this one over here.

All right,
Madame.

Now, everybody
join hands.

Now everybody
close their eyes

and keep them
tightly closed.

The spirits must not see
the whites of your eyes.

Close your eyes
and concentrate.

Oh, excuse me.

God bless you.

Oh, thank you.

I am now going into a trance.

I shall try to contact Tillie.

The next voice you hear will be
the voice of Tillie.

Oh.

What's the matter?

Um, my foot
was asleep.

Oh.

Is everyone
comfortable now?

I'm comfortable.

Are you, Ricky?

Yes, I am. How
about you, Lucy?

Yes, I'm comfortable.

All right, here we go.

I shall now
contact Tillie.

Ethel to Tillie.
Ethel to Tillie.

Come in, Tillie, over.

Tillie.

Tillie, is that you?

Yes, it's me, Tillie.

But, Tillie, that sneeze,
are you sick?

Sick? I'm dead.

Oh, that's right.

But-but wait, if you're a
spirit, how can you have a cold?

I went out
last night without my shroud.

Oh.

Ow!

I mean, owww.

Wh-wh-wh-what's
the matter?

Oh, I burned myself.

It's awfully hot here.

Oh, that's where you are!

Oh, Tillie,
I'm so disappointed in you.

Oh, well,
I have to go now.

Oh, no, no, no! No,
wait, Tillie, wait.

Tillie, I've always wanted
to ask you something.

What?

Tell me, Tillie--

Who did you like the best,
me or Mrs. Merriweather?

Huh?

I said, who did
you like the best,

me or Mrs. Merriweather?

Well, you, of course.

Oh, this is the most
exciting day in my life.

Tillie liked me the best.

Oh, now...
Now, if... if I may,

I'd like to try and contact
Mrs. Merriweather.

Mrs. Merriweather?

Well, all right.

Ethel to Mrs. Merriweather.

Ethel to
Mrs. Merriweather.

Come in, Mrs.
Merriweather.

Over.

[Fred high voice] Hello...!

Is-is-is-is that
you, my dear?

Yes, darling.

Darling?

That doesn't sound
like Adelaide.

Shut up, you worm!

That's Adelaide!

Oh, what terrible memories
it brings back to me.

Uh, my trance is wearing off.

I think you'd better
hang up now.

All right,
good-bye, Adelaide.

Good-bye.

Good-bye, Tillie.

[Lucy high voice] Good-bye.

Well, everybody
unclasp hands now.

Open your eyes.

Well, this has
certainly been

an eventful evening.

Yes, yes.

Well, I-I must dash
home immediately

and write it
in my diary.

[Ricky] I'll get your coat, sir.

Thank you.
Oh, Mrs. Ricardo,

I just can't thank
you enough.

Well, it's been
a pleasure.

Good night,
Madame Mertzola.

Oh, good night.

I'll walk you
downstairs.

Oh, Lucy,
you were great.

I'd never have known
you did those two voices.

I didn't.

You didn't?

No.

Ethel, you underestimate
your transmitter.

You really contacted
the other side.

I did?

Yes.

Oh, Lucy, I'm frightened.

So am I.

Hello, Fred.

Hello.

Yippee!

Honey...

- you got the best horoscopes
in town. -Well, thank you.

- You know what he did?
- What?

Mr. Merriweather gave
me an even better job.

He's going to star me
in one of his next shows.

Oh, listen, Ricky, I have
a confession to make.

I did
a terrible thing.

I was the voice
of Tillie.

But, you know that other voice,
Mrs. Merriweather,

it was real.

It certainly was.

Fred Mertz.

You were the
other voice!

Yeah, and I thought
Tillie was a real spook.

Oh, no! Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

There's something else
I don't understand.

If Tillie wasn't
Mrs. Merriweather, who was she?

Oh, well, um, Mr. Merriweather
explained that to me,

and he paid you
a great compliment.

He said he knew
it was the real thing

because it sounded
exactly like Tillie

if she could talk.

Well, that's
very flattering.

If she could talk?

Well, you see,

Tillie was Mr. Merriweather's
cocker spaniel.

Oh, no!