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1
00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:25,067
- Hi!
- Hi, girl.
2
00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:27,236
What are you doing tonight?
Can you come over to dinner?
3
00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:29,488
Well, Ricky isn't coming home for dinner,
but I can come.
4
00:00:29,488 --> 00:00:30,572
- Good.
- What's the occasion?
5
00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:32,991
Fred's old vaudeville partner is in town.
6
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:34,284
Not the other half
7
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:37,120
of "Laugh Till It Hurts
with Mertz and Kurtz"!
8
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,287
Barney Kurtz.
9
00:00:38,287 --> 00:00:39,748
Oh, for heaven's sake!
10
00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:41,542
We didn't even know
he was in this country.
11
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:44,002
He's been entertaining royalty
all over Europe.
12
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:46,088
- I saw the postcards.
- Oh, that's right.
13
00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:48,006
Listen, can I borrow your big silver tray?
14
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:49,007
Sure.
15
00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:53,679
Oh, I'm afraid it's going
to need a little cleaning.
16
00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:55,138
Oh, that's all right. Thanks.
17
00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:56,640
We have to put on a little dog
18
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:59,226
so Barney will think
Fred Mertz has done all right too.
19
00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:02,187
What do you mean?
Fred has nothing to be ashamed of.
20
00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:04,188
Oh, I know, but he's so jealous of Barney
21
00:01:04,188 --> 00:01:05,941
'cause Barney stayed in show business
22
00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:07,191
and got to be a big star.
23
00:01:07,191 --> 00:01:08,277
Yeah.
24
00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:11,029
Fred got out all of his
press notices this morning
25
00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:13,907
and put them all around the room
in discreet places.
26
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,367
Oh, no!
27
00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:17,703
Oh, my God!
28
00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:20,539
And, if he soft-shoes through
the living room one more time
29
00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:21,706
singing "Red, Red Robin,"
30
00:01:21,706 --> 00:01:24,793
I'm going to have to let him have it
right in the beak.
31
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,795
Oh, no.
32
00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:29,172
Say, can I borrow
your old-fashioned cruet set too?
33
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:30,382
Sure.
34
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:32,467
And let's see...
35
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:34,469
your damask tablecloth,
36
00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:35,804
and, uh...
37
00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:38,807
And the napkins.
38
00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:41,351
And let me see... and the napkins and ...
39
00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:43,103
and your silver carving set.
40
00:01:44,146 --> 00:01:47,107
Why don't you just leave everything here
and borrow the apartment?
41
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,192
I'm surprised you haven't
asked me to dress up
42
00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:51,236
and go over and serve for you.
43
00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:52,946
Well, for heaven's sake!
44
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:54,948
I didn't think you'd mind
my asking you to...
45
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,701
Oh, honey, you know I don't!
46
00:01:57,701 --> 00:02:00,245
- Oh, I know you don't mind.
- Of course not.
47
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:03,749
Let's see, now, what else can I borrow
that looks better than what I've got?
48
00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:05,584
How about Ricky?
49
00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:07,377
That's a thought.
50
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,549
Hey, you know,
that's not a bad idea you had.
51
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,760
- You can't have him.
- No, no, I don't mean that.
52
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,888
I mean you dressing up like a maid
and coming over and help me serve.
53
00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:19,264
Oh, well, I'll see you later, dear.
54
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:21,808
You run along now. You've got a lot to do...
55
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,727
Oh, come on, now, Lucy,
won't you do it for me?
56
00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:24,645
No!
57
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,980
Why not? I never asked you
to do anything like this before.
58
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,273
Oh, honey, I can't do that!
59
00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:29,441
What would Ricky say?
60
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:30,692
Ricky's not home.
61
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:33,362
Oh, come on, now.
You just got to do it for me.
62
00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:34,613
I don't got to do it.
63
00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:36,281
Well, think of all the hundreds of things
64
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:38,282
- I've done for you!
- Oh, honey, I don't...
65
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:43,455
-
- Oh, funny.
66
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:45,248
Weren't they wonderful folks?
67
00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,292
That was a wonderful show, wonderful show.
68
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,836
Honey, what was the name
of that mind reader?
69
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,880
- Alexander the Great.
- That's right.
70
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,882
Alexander the Great. What a mind reader.
71
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:55,592
He could tell you anything about yourself.
72
00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:56,843
Yeah, he could.
73
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,804
Barney, whatever happened to him?
74
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:01,556
Oh, he's working
for the income tax department.
75
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:06,353
Barney, would you care for more beef?
76
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:07,604
Please, yes, please.
77
00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,029
Bessy!
78
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,286
Madam rang?
79
00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:24,913
Yes, madam did.
80
00:03:25,913 --> 00:03:28,166
Mr. Kurtz cares for more beef.
81
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:29,251
Yes, ma'am.
82
00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:31,252
Barney, tell us all about Europe.
83
00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:34,673
Well, when I was making
all those command performances
84
00:03:34,673 --> 00:03:37,050
before the crown heads of Europe,
85
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,677
I thought of you both.
86
00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:39,845
- Oh!
- Really?
87
00:03:39,845 --> 00:03:42,931
Imagine playing before royalty!
88
00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,726
Well, they're just like ordinary people.
89
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:48,145
They are? Do they laugh and applaud?
90
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:51,189
I never will forget
the first command performance
91
00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:52,774
in the London Palladium.
92
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:54,776
The London Palladium!
93
00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:56,570
Gosh!
94
00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:03,869
Yes, you know, I was, uh,
oh, I was very hot that night.
95
00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,412
You know, I kept it topical.
96
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:07,080
- Yeah.
- I said, uh...
97
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,751
"A funny thing happened to me tonight
on my way to Buckingham Palace."
98
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,294
Buckingham Palace!
99
00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:15,172
Buckingham Palace!
100
00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:21,636
Bessy, you may bring the beef.
101
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:23,930
Yes, ma'am.
I'll hustle it right up, ma'am.
102
00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:28,059
- Bring some more potatoes, Bessy.
- Yes, sir.
103
00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:30,353
- And some green beans.
- Yes, ma'am.
104
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:31,438
And some rolls.
105
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:32,397
Yes, sir.
106
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,524
And could I have a spot of gravy, please?
107
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:37,027
Yes, ma'am-- Sir!
108
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:41,238
Well, Fred, you seem to be doing all right
with a maid and everything.
109
00:04:41,238 --> 00:04:43,158
Well, Barney, if I do say so myself,
110
00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:44,493
- we're doing pretty well.
- Good.
111
00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:47,412
We own a couple of other
apartment houses besides this one.
112
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:49,998
And we have a part-time cleaning woman.
113
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,793
Yeah, and it's too bad
our two cars are laid up
114
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,503
or you could use the chauffeur.
115
00:04:54,503 --> 00:04:58,589
Well, it couldn't happen
to two nicer people,
116
00:04:58,589 --> 00:04:59,841
and I'm happy for you both.
117
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:02,719
Oh, thank you, Barney.
It's so good to have you with us again.
118
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:04,638
You know what we ought to do, Fred,
while Barney's here?
119
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,681
- No.
- We ought to get the old gang together
120
00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:07,766
and have a party.
121
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:08,767
- Oh, that's...
- Good idea.
122
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:10,017
- Yeah.
- ...very nice of you,
123
00:05:10,017 --> 00:05:11,019
but it can't be done.
124
00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:12,771
I just about had enough time to visit you.
125
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:13,772
Oh...
126
00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:15,106
You know, I only have a few days,
127
00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:17,108
- what with the booking agents...
- Mm.
128
00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:18,360
- ...the newspaper reporters...
- Mm.
129
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:19,861
...and then I'm mapping out a new tour.
130
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:22,029
Yeah, Barney,
I can see you're pretty busy all right.
131
00:05:22,029 --> 00:05:23,031
Yes, indeed.
132
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:26,868
But it would be nice
to see the old gang again.
133
00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:28,870
- Wouldn't it?
- Flying-- Fly--
134
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,539
You know that Sliding Jim Crane?
135
00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:32,123
Oh, Sliding Jim Crane.
136
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,458
Remember Kravetz and Lane?
137
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,752
- Yes!
- And the Shardi Sisters!
138
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:36,920
[Barney] The Flying Harrisons?
139
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,589
[Ethel] Oh, how did you happen
to remember the Flying Harrisons?
140
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:40,757
He remembers everybody!
141
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:42,551
And you know...
142
00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:44,511
[Ethel] Wait a minute.
I just want to ask you one thing.
143
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:45,887
What?
144
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,681
Do you know what happened to Venus Jones?
145
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,474
- Venus Jones?
- Yeah.
146
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:50,809
- The last time I heard...
- Barney.
147
00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:53,103
- What?
- Mr. And Mrs. Carl Guppy.
148
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,063
- Remember the...
- Oh, Junior Carl Guppy!
149
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:56,273
- Yeah.
- And, uh ...
150
00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:57,357
Th-The Costellos!
151
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,859
- Oh, the Costellos!
- The Costellos.
152
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,569
And Frank Parise, Frank Parise
153
00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:02,112
and Adolph Gonzalez.
154
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:04,322
And what about,
what about that phrenologist?
155
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:06,825
John Fugle, the fire-eater!
156
00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:08,577
Why, he'd spit hot lead
right in your hand!
157
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:09,661
Spit hot lead?
158
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:12,831
Lucy! Ducy! Desi! Bessy!
159
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:13,999
I'm sorry, ma'am.
160
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:16,041
I'll-- I'll get a cloth and wipe it up.
161
00:06:16,041 --> 00:06:17,127
Oh, my!
162
00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:18,336
[Lucy] Spit hot lead.
163
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,839
You know it's impossible
to get good servants today.
164
00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,591
I know how it is. Yes, yes.
165
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,593
- Oh, say, Barney.
- Hmm?
166
00:06:24,593 --> 00:06:27,012
That's too bad, but, uh,
are you going to be able
167
00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:28,805
to make Indianapolis on this trip?
168
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:29,973
I'm afraid not. No.
169
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,267
- Oh, you're not going to Indianapolis?
- No, no.
170
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:35,103
You're not gonna
to see your daughter and your grandson?
171
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:36,605
Have you ever seen him?
172
00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:39,608
Well, not since he was about a year old.
173
00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:41,943
I told them that
I couldn't make it this time,
174
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,779
but I said, "The next trip,
I'll come out there
175
00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:46,323
and I'll spend a lot of time."
176
00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:47,741
- That's good.
- Oh, fine.
177
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,993
- Barney, and speaking of Indianapolis...
- Yeah?
178
00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:52,037
...do you remember the night
we broke our new act in there?
179
00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:53,204
- Do I? Ho, ho.
- Yeah.
180
00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:55,081
With that big hit song we reduced?
181
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:58,501
- "Byjingo."
- "Byjingo"!
182
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:00,879
- I bet I still remember it.
- And so do I!
183
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:04,007
♪ In the land of San Domingo ♪
184
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:06,593
♪ Lived a gal called old Byjingo ♪
185
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,845
♪ Ta-da, da-da-da-da ♪
186
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:11,264
♪ Oompah, oompah, oompah, oompah ♪
187
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,808
♪ From the fields and from the marshes ♪
188
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:16,394
♪ Came the old and young, by goshes ♪
189
00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:18,939
♪ Mm, da, ya, da, da, da ♪
190
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,441
♪ Oompah, oompah, oompah, oompah ♪
191
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,902
♪ They all spoke in a different lingo ♪
192
00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:26,488
♪ But they all knew old Byjingo ♪
193
00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:32,118
♪ And every night they sang
In the pale moonlight ♪
194
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:35,622
♪ Oh, by gee, by gosh, by gum, by gum ♪
195
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,749
♪ Ta, da, ya, ta, da, da, da ♪
196
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:40,835
♪ Oh, Byjingo
Can't you hear I love thee ♪
197
00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,712
♪ Ya, ta, ti, da, la, ta, ta ♪
198
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,798
♪ We will build for you a hut ♪
199
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:47,550
♪ You will be our favorite nut ♪
200
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,928
♪ We will, la, la, la, oh, by golly ♪
201
00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:52,430
♪ And we'll put them in the follies ♪
202
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:55,308
♪ Byjingo said, "By gosh, by gee" ♪
203
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,560
♪ Ti, da, ya, da, di, da, da ♪
204
00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,397
♪ She said, "Don't you bother me. '' ♪
205
00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:01,731
♪ Ti, da, ya, da, di, da, di ♪
206
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,233
♪ So they all went away ♪
207
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:07,362
♪ Singing oh, by gee, by gosh
By gum, by gee, Byjingo ♪
208
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:14,744
♪ By gee, you're the only girl for... ♪
209
00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:17,080
♪ Bump, tiddly-ump, bump
Bump, tiddly-ump, bump ♪
210
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,331
♪ Bump, tiddly-ump, bump ♪
211
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:19,666
♪ For me! ♪
212
00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:28,425
Oh, that's very funny!
213
00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:31,094
Oh, boy.
214
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:32,929
And you remembered most of the lyrics.
215
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:35,140
- Yeah, all of it.
- Wonderful.
216
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:37,267
And wait till you see
what I've got for dessert!
217
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:38,893
- Oh...
-
218
00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:41,730
I tell you,
they don't write lyrics like that.
219
00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:42,897
I'll bet they don't.
220
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,315
Boy, I'll say they don't!
221
00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:47,569
That is a real sensational number!
222
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:48,737
Boy, oh, boy.
223
00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:51,905
Do you remember the night the fella
fell into the orchestra pit?
224
00:08:51,905 --> 00:08:53,575
Oh, no!
225
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:56,745
[Lucy] No!
226
00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:03,168
Bessy!
227
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,419
Huh?
228
00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:05,754
Oh.
229
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,674
You may serve the dessert.
230
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:11,217
Oh, yes, ma'am.
231
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,510
Sorry, ma'am.
232
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,684
Oh, Ethel, have you seen Lucy?
233
00:09:20,684 --> 00:09:23,146
Ricky, come on in and meet
an old friend of ours.
234
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,647
- Sure.
- Ricky, this is Barney Kurtz.
235
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,857
- Barney, this is Ricky Ricardo.
- How do you do?
236
00:09:26,857 --> 00:09:28,860
- Glad to know you, Ricky.
- Glad to know you, Barney.
237
00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:29,861
- Hi, honey.
- Oh, hi.
238
00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,242
Rather friendly, isn't she?
239
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:39,871
Uh, uh, uh, you may serve
the dessert, Bessy.
240
00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:41,289
- Yes, ma'am.
- Bessy?
241
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,292
Lucy, what are you doing in that getup?
242
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:48,671
Why, uh, she's kind of, uh, uh...
243
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,465
Oh, dear!
244
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:52,133
Oh, what's the use?
245
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:54,302
Barney, I might as well confess.
246
00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:57,514
We really haven't got
all the money I said we had.
247
00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:59,516
This is the only apartment house we own,
248
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:02,227
and the bank owns most of it.
249
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:04,062
We can't afford a maid.
250
00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:06,731
That's Lucy Ricardo, Ricky's wife.
251
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:09,234
They live right across the hall from us.
Our neighbors.
252
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:10,318
How do you do, sir?
253
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:13,071
I mean, glad to know you, Barney.
254
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:14,197
Glad to know you.
255
00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:16,407
Oh, Fred, you didn't have
to pretend with me.
256
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:18,326
Well, you being the big shot you
are, I didn't want...
257
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,577
Oh, nonsense.
258
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:23,873
Imagine you putting up a front
for your old partner, Barney.
259
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,501
- I guess it was kind of silly.
- Yeah.
260
00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:28,586
What do you say we all sit down
and have some cake?
261
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:31,381
Oh, thank goodness!
My feet are killing me!
262
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:35,426
- [Ricky] Hey, that cake looks good, huh?
- Doesn't that look good?
263
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:37,929
Hey, Ricky, you should have heard
the number Barney and Fred did.
264
00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:39,264
- It was so great!
- Yeah?
265
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:41,266
Barney, would you and Fred do another one?
266
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:42,433
Would you mind?
267
00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:43,768
Would they mind?
268
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:47,272
Would a small boy mind going
to the circus?
269
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,732
Well, we might be talked into it.
270
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:53,069
Remember the song we closed the act with?
271
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:54,404
Do I?
272
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:59,409
♪ I want a girl just like the girl ♪
273
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:03,705
♪ That married dear old Dad ♪
274
00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:06,624
♪ She was a pearl ♪
275
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:12,547
♪ And the only girl that Daddy ever had ♪
276
00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:16,926
♪ A good old-fashioned girl
With heart so true ♪
277
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:23,933
♪ One who'll love nobody else
But you, ooh... ♪
278
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:29,606
♪ I want a gal just like the gal ♪
279
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:36,613
♪ That married dear old Dad ♪
280
00:11:49,833 --> 00:11:50,919
I told you, Fred.
281
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:53,171
You can't fix that thing
by just tightening it up.
282
00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:56,424
You got to take that whole
handle off to fix it.
283
00:11:57,675 --> 00:12:01,136
All right, all right.
Now, you know all about it. You fix it.
284
00:12:01,136 --> 00:12:04,265
Well, you're the landlord,
aren't you? You fix it.
285
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,017
Besides, I don't want
to get my hands dirty.
286
00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:07,809
Well, that's swell.
287
00:12:07,809 --> 00:12:09,687
- That's swell.
- It's all right.
288
00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:17,946
There now!
289
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:20,405
If anybody can open that door
from the outside without a key,
290
00:12:20,405 --> 00:12:21,407
I'll eat it.
291
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:24,369
- Oh! Oh, Fred.
- Oh, hi, Fred.
292
00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:25,495
We got a surprise for you.
293
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:26,703
Wait till you hear what happened.
294
00:12:26,703 --> 00:12:27,997
- What?
- Wait till you hear.
295
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,750
We just had a letter
from Barney's daughter.
296
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,377
Yeah? What is it all about?
297
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:34,254
Well, we had this idea...
298
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,506
We? I had the idea.
299
00:12:36,506 --> 00:12:39,884
Well, okay, Lucy had this idea
to wire Barney's daughter
300
00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:44,097
and ask if the little grandson
could come to New York and stay with us.
301
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,556
And surprise Barney!
302
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:47,058
Gee, that's a great idea!
303
00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:48,434
Yeah. When is he coming?
304
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,937
Oh, we got so excited,
we didn't finish the letter.
305
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:53,773
"Thank you so much
for your kind invitation
306
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,109
for little Barney to visit
New York and see his granddad.
307
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:59,153
He is all excited about seeing
his famous grandfather perform
308
00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:01,072
during his New York engagement."
309
00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:02,949
New York engagement?
310
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,492
Oh, she must have misunderstood.
311
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:07,495
"I'm putting him
on the midnight train tonight,
312
00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:09,580
and he will arrive
in New York Thursday afternoon
313
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,249
- at the Pennsylvania station--"
- That's today!
314
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:12,417
Why, sure it is!
315
00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:14,585
Gee, won't Barney get a kick out of this?
316
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:15,920
I bet he will.
317
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,131
-
- Somebody's here.
318
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,674
[Lucy] We'll have to pick him up.
319
00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:21,342
Oh, eh, eh, B-B-Barney!
320
00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:22,427
Hello!
321
00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:24,178
Come on in. Glad to see you.
322
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:26,014
- Hi, Barney.
- Nice to see you.
323
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:27,682
Oh, uh, Fred, I knocked on your door.
324
00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:29,684
There wasn't any answer,
so I came over here.
325
00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:31,019
Well, sit down, Barney.
326
00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:32,102
Sit down.
327
00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:33,354
I've got something to tell you.
328
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:35,356
I should have told you before.
329
00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:39,319
I, uh... I'm an awful phony.
330
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,778
What do you mean?
331
00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:45,616
Well, I haven't been in Europe
all these years
332
00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:48,535
starring in vaudeville.
333
00:13:48,535 --> 00:13:51,331
I've been living in New York.
334
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,666
I'm a cook in a restaurant
up in the Bronx.
335
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,211
- Oh, no!
- Oh, my goodness.
336
00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:58,421
This is terrible.
337
00:13:58,421 --> 00:13:59,672
Now, I'm sorry I upset you.
338
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:00,881
Now, please don't be mad.
339
00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:03,301
- No, no, Barney.
- We're not mad at you.
340
00:14:03,301 --> 00:14:05,136
We'd never get mad at you.
341
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:09,098
It's just that, when we found out
you couldn't go to Indiana,
342
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:10,516
we wired your daughter
343
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:13,811
to send your grandson on
to New York to stay with us.
344
00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:17,148
Oh, no! Oh, I have to
wire them not to come.
345
00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:18,900
It's too late. He's on his way.
346
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:19,984
Oh...
347
00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:21,235
Oh, this is a fine mess.
348
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:24,030
Yeah, Ethel. Some lousy idea you had.
349
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:26,657
I had?
350
00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:28,785
Okay, okay,
doesn't matter whose idea it was.
351
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:31,954
Now, the point is
that you've gotten Barney into a jam.
352
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,748
Now we've got to figure
a way to get him out of it.
353
00:14:33,748 --> 00:14:35,208
- Yeah.
- Listen, Barney.
354
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,043
- Huh?
- Could you get a couple of days off
355
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,211
from the restaurant?
356
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,587
Well... yes.
357
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,631
Now, listen.
Now, you take a room at a hotel,
358
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,508
show the little fellow
around New York City,
359
00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:44,967
and he'll never know the difference.
360
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:46,052
- Sure!
- [Ricky] Yeah!
361
00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:47,595
No, no, no. It won't work.
362
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:48,679
Why not?
363
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:51,224
Because I haven't got a dime.
364
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:54,519
I've been sending all my money home
for the little fellow.
365
00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:56,687
I've been wanting to educate him.
366
00:14:56,687 --> 00:15:00,441
Besides, I... I told him
I was performing in New York,
367
00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:01,943
and I couldn't come to visit him.
368
00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:03,820
That's what she must
have meant in the letter.
369
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:04,904
Yeah.
370
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,531
I can explain to my daughter.
371
00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:08,199
She'd understand.
372
00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:11,035
But how am I going to tell little Barney
373
00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:14,122
that his grandfather--
his famous grandfather--
374
00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:15,790
Isn't famous after all?
375
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,291
Just a has-been.
376
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:20,962
I had a friend of mine send him
a lot of postcards
377
00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:22,672
from all over Europe.
378
00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,882
The same ones they sent to you.
379
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:26,217
Mm-mm.
380
00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:29,762
He wants to grow up
and be like his granddaddy.
381
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,014
He thinks I'm kind of special.
382
00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,393
- Barney...
- Hmm?
383
00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:39,147
You're going to be performing
when that little fella gets to New York.
384
00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:41,232
What do you mean? Where?
385
00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:42,650
Ricky, tell him where.
386
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:43,734
Yeah!
387
00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:44,986
Where?
388
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:47,113
At the Tropicana!
389
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:51,492
Yeah, at the Tropicana!
390
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:52,577
Sure!
391
00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:54,287
Wait, wait a minute.
392
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:56,080
I haven't been on the stage in years.
393
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,248
I can't do anything.
394
00:15:57,248 --> 00:15:59,250
- Oh, honey, sure you can!
- We'll all help you.
395
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:00,334
- Yeah.
- What do you mean?
396
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:02,795
Oh, we'll do that old bathing bit
that you did on the quayside.
397
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,755
- That's a good idea.
- There's a part in it for all of us!
398
00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:05,756
Can I be in it too?
399
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:06,757
- Sure!
- Sure!
400
00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:07,842
Oh, boy!
401
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,773
Well, Barney, old boy, are you ready?
402
00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,275
Is the show going to start now?
403
00:16:24,275 --> 00:16:26,277
- Right now!
- Oh, boy!
404
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:28,154
Sit right there. All right!
405
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,076
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
406
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:35,369
If you're wondering
407
00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:37,663
why the Tropicana looks
kind of different tonight,
408
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,123
with a curtain and everything,
409
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:41,834
it's because we're putting
a very special kind of a show,
410
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,504
featuring a very special
kind of a gentleman.
411
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:48,549
He's an internationally famous
entertainer-- Mr. Barney Kurtz!
412
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:50,134
That's my grandpa!
413
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:52,428
That's right!
414
00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:54,055
And here's our guest of honor,
415
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,932
Barney's grandson, little Barney.
416
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,683
Let's give him a nice,
big hand, everybody. Yeah.
417
00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:58,809
Take a bow.
418
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:01,479
[Ricky] Come on, take a bow!
419
00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:03,147
Attaboy!
420
00:17:05,398 --> 00:17:06,943
Well, you're really
going to enjoy this show
421
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:08,861
because his grandfather
is going to do an act
422
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:12,073
that he used to do
with Fred Mertz about 30 years ago.
423
00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:14,700
And, in this act,
they're going to be assisted
424
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:18,788
by Lucy Ricardo,
Ethel Mertz and yours truly.
425
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:22,583
So here we go now
to Atlantic City on the boardwalk!
426
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,523
Well, hello!
427
00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:46,607
Hello, stranger!
428
00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:48,609
Are you here for the convention?
429
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:50,319
For the dairymen's convention.
430
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:52,863
Good for you! I'm from, uh, Wisconsin.
431
00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:54,699
And I am from Illinois, sir.
432
00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:56,157
That's a mighty nice part of the country.
433
00:17:56,157 --> 00:17:57,535
What hotel are you stopping at?
434
00:17:57,535 --> 00:18:00,079
Hotel? I'm only going
to be here three days!
435
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,292
Hey, you see what I see?
436
00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:06,711
A couple of good-lookers.
437
00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:08,212
Well, aren't they!
438
00:18:21,142 --> 00:18:23,311
♪ We came to this convention ♪
439
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:25,313
♪ We didn't know a soul ♪
440
00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:29,567
♪ Headed for the boardwalk
Going for a stroll ♪
441
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:34,071
♪ Just a couple of visiting dairymen ♪
442
00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:37,992
♪ We were feeling lonesome when... ♪
443
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:42,413
♪ I found a peach on the beach
At Atlantic City ♪
444
00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:46,792
♪ And there's a peach for each
And they are pretty... ♪
445
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:51,172
♪ Mother told us she would scold us ♪
446
00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:54,508
♪ If we spoke to a masher ♪
447
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:58,679
♪ If you don't stop, sir
We'll call a cop, sir ♪
448
00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:03,225
♪ And he'll come on the run
And settle your hash, sir ♪
449
00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:07,772
♪ Now, have no fear
Little dear, I've the best intention ♪
450
00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:11,942
♪ You'll hear no bum steer
At the dairymen's convention ♪
451
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:16,030
♪ It may seem bold, but it must be told ♪
452
00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:18,115
♪ You've got me dillydallied ♪
453
00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:19,950
♪ Give me a kiss, you'll never miss ♪
454
00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:21,994
- Sure!
- Sure!
455
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,663
- Saltwater taffy?
- Taffy?
456
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,498
Ha, ha!
457
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:29,460
♪ I found a peach upon the beach
The apple of my eye ♪
458
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:31,462
♪ I'll cling to the peach
I found on the beach ♪
459
00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:33,172
♪ Until the day I die ♪
460
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,924
♪ I'd give up my money... ♪
461
00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:36,300
- Oh?
- Oh?
462
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:38,052
♪ I'd give up my life! ♪
463
00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:39,512
- Oh?
- Oh?
464
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:43,557
♪ For you, I'd even give up my wife! ♪
465
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:45,101
- Your wife?
- Your wife?
466
00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:46,394
- If I had one.
- If I had one.
467
00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:48,104
- Oh!
- Oh!
468
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:52,817
♪ Oh, we'd make a pair
A wonderful pair ♪
469
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:55,486
♪ We'd make a peach of a pair... ♪
470
00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:58,571
♪ Don't mean a lemon... ♪
471
00:19:58,571 --> 00:20:03,619
♪ We'd make a wonderful pair! ♪
472
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:15,965
Well... my little cutie,
473
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:18,050
would you enjoy a mint smash?
474
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,385
Not on your tin type.
475
00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:24,265
If you'll excuse us,
we're going in bathing.
476
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:25,808
Well, do you mind if we join ya?
477
00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:28,185
It's a free... ocean!
478
00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:33,648
This is the best convention I ever was to!
479
00:20:33,648 --> 00:20:35,776
Me, too! Ha, ha!
480
00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:43,367
♪ By the sea, by the sea ♪
481
00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:44,952
♪ By the beautiful sea... ♪
482
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:46,829
♪ You and I, you and I ♪
483
00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:48,955
♪ Oh, how happy we'll be... ♪
484
00:20:48,955 --> 00:20:52,084
♪ When each wave comes a-rolling in ♪
485
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,211
♪ We will duck or swim... ♪
486
00:20:54,211 --> 00:20:56,464
♪ And we'll both have
Full a mouth of water! ♪
487
00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:59,508
♪ Over and under and then up for air ♪
488
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:03,554
♪ Pa is rich, Ma is rich
So what do we care? ♪
489
00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:06,724
♪ I'd love to be beside her side
By the sea ♪
490
00:21:06,724 --> 00:21:11,311
♪ Beside the seaside
By the beautiful sea ♪
491
00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:13,647
♪ I'd love to be beside.... ♪
492
00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:18,402
♪ Beside the sea, the seaside
By the beautiful sea ♪
493
00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:20,488
♪ I'd love to be beside ♪
494
00:21:20,488 --> 00:21:21,821
♪ Beside the sea, beside the sea ♪
495
00:21:21,821 --> 00:21:25,493
♪ Beside the seaside
By the beautiful sea! ♪
496
00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:30,330
-
-
497
00:21:49,683 --> 00:21:52,436
Oh, look at his muscles!
498
00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:54,438
Hey, hey, what's the idea?
499
00:21:54,438 --> 00:21:56,023
We saw these cuties first!
500
00:21:56,023 --> 00:21:58,526
Yeah. Why don't you
get a dolly of your own?
501
00:21:58,526 --> 00:22:00,736
It isn't my fault.
502
00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:02,738
What do you mean, it isn't your fault?
503
00:22:08,118 --> 00:22:14,917
♪ I hate to talk about myself
But here's one time I must ♪
504
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:17,795
♪ Your confidence I'll trust ♪
505
00:22:17,795 --> 00:22:21,465
♪ I have to speak or bust ♪
506
00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:27,471
♪ It's funny how I get the girls
I never try at all ♪
507
00:22:27,471 --> 00:22:31,308
♪ I seem to hypnotize them ♪
508
00:22:31,308 --> 00:22:37,648
♪ I'm bound to make them fall ♪
509
00:22:37,648 --> 00:22:44,655
♪ They go wild, simply wild over me ♪
510
00:22:45,823 --> 00:22:48,993
♪ They go mad
Just as mad as they can be ♪
511
00:22:50,077 --> 00:22:54,455
♪ No matter where I'm at
All the ladies thin or fat ♪
512
00:22:54,455 --> 00:22:58,794
♪ The tall ones, the small ones
I grab them up like that ♪
513
00:22:58,794 --> 00:23:03,090
♪ Every night, how they fight over me ♪
514
00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:08,262
♪ I don't know what it is
That they can see ♪
515
00:23:08,262 --> 00:23:12,558
♪ The ladies look at me and sigh... ♪
516
00:23:12,558 --> 00:23:14,894
-
-
517
00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:20,023
♪ In my arms, they want to die ♪
518
00:23:20,023 --> 00:23:26,030
♪ They go wild, simply wild
And they're hopelessly helplessly ♪
519
00:23:26,030 --> 00:23:31,201
♪ Frantic romantically wild
Simply wild over me! ♪
520
00:24:00,689 --> 00:24:05,653
♪ On the boardwalk in Atlantic City ♪
521
00:24:05,653 --> 00:24:09,448
♪ I found what I waited for ♪
522
00:24:09,448 --> 00:24:14,161
♪ In romantic, enchanting Atlantic City ♪
523
00:24:14,662 --> 00:24:21,669
♪ Down by the old New Jersey shore ♪
39395
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