Original subtitles

You're listening to WQRK,

your home for easy listening.

And welcome to the scary part of the day,

when all manner of ghosts and ghouls

take over our airwaves.

It's time for everybody's favorite,

the Truth Serum.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen

and others, and welcome to our program.

I'm your host from the Edge of the Unknown,

Major Harlan Dean,

and I'm about to inject you with a little bit of

the Truth Serum.

As many of you may already know,

today marks the beginning of the annual Moth Man Festival

in Point Pleasant, West Virginia.

And to commemorate this wonderful event,

I've elected to dedicate this entire show

to the theme of cryptozoology.

I guess for a lack of grace,

we're talking about monsters tonight, everybody.

Tonight, however, every call,

every piece of information will be dedicated solely

to these entities we refer to as...

Now,

folks, let me first start out this broadcast

by thanking each and every one of you for joining me

on what is sure to be an exceptional episode.

And also give a shout out to my faithful engineer

and friend Brandon Bump.

The thing that goes bump in the night,

day in and day out, this man keeps us running

with nary any hiccups and never complains.

Never complains.

Not on the air, anyways.

So if you wouldn't mind, Mr. Bump,

let some things go bump in the night

and welcome to Truth Serum.

You're our first caller of the evening, Lana.

Hello Harlan. Uh, thanks for taking my call.

I am actually a registered psychiatric nurse,

and I work as a caretaker in my patient's home

somewhere in the Eastern States area.

There's only so much information that I'm willing

or able to divulge. I-- I hope you understand.

Oh, Lana, I completely understand

and I want to assure you that you're in good hands

and your protection is of the utmost importance to me.

Thank you, sir.

I really appreciate your understanding because,

I really want you to hear this story I have to tell you.

Have you ever heard of something called a melon head?

Hey, how you doing?

Extremely nervous.

How about you? You holding up okay?

You know, there's no shame

in postponing this campfire for another night.

I think you coming this far

is a huge positive step in the right direction.

Aww.

That's so sweet of you trying to defend me and my shortcomings.

Well, I really wouldn't call being afraid of the dark

exactly a shortcoming.

There are way more ridiculous fears to have than that one.

Like the fear of buttons. The fuck is that shit all about?

Is that a fact?

Yeah, great. That's gonna help a lot.

Come on, you're doing great.

Don't let that mess up your game face.

You got this.

Yeah, here's to the chick with the big balls. Salute.

Thanks, guys. But we're not exactly out of the woods yet,

and I still have like seven hours

before we can call this a complete success.

Hey, take the compliments where you can because...

we might not be so forgiving in the morning.

My thoughts exactly.

I mean, who's to say we'll even make it till morning anyways.

We are in the Grinning Man's territory after all.

Hey, you cut that shit out right now, man.

Oh, my God, what the fuck, Jeremy?

Oh, hey guys, it's a joke. I was kidding.

Oh yeah? Well, guess what? It wasn't funny.

What is wrong with you? Are you trying to fuck this up?

Oh, Jesus Christ, guys, will you just relax?

It was just a joke, okay? Heather, I'm sorry.

There's no such thing as the Grinning Man.

The melon heads are a different story, though.

Shut up!

You can't be this stupid. You can't.

Guys, calm down. All right, just chill out.

Sit your ass down.

I oughta nut punch you in your sleep.

-Okay, that was excessive. -Olivia, it's okay. I'm fine.

-He's not gonna get to me. -Heather, don't, okay?

You don't need to be hearing this shit right now.

Agreed. Let's all just try to have a nice,

relaxing, scare-free night.

How's that sound, huh?

Yeah.

I think we'd all be much better off

with a little bit of this.

You too. Up and pay the piper.

God, I hate this fucking song.

This is much better.

Is it?

Jesus Christ, Jeremy.

What the hell are you doing out here?

You're asking me? Seriously?

I heard something out here a little bit ago, okay?

I just... I needed a little extra comfort

to get me through the rest of the night. That's all.

Oh, yeah, you're gonna hear something out here, Heather.

We're out in the middle of the woods.

No, what I heard wasn't normal.

Didn't sound like an animal either.

It was like a person,

yelling or calling out.

-Something like that. -Hmm, spooky.

I'm done with this, goodnight.

I believe that you heard something.

I didn't hear what it was per se,

but I believe that you did.

So, what do you think it was?

Come on, what do you think it was?

Melon head?

Oh, so we're back to this again, are we?

I wanna know about them.

What are they?

All right. But me telling you this story,

stays between us. You got that?

I swear I won't say anything.

As far as I know,

the melon heads are some sort of genetic mutation

created by some fucked up doctor that ran a private clinic,

somewhere around these woods.

It was a place where unwanted children

were taken by their parents.

Kids with deformities,

especially water on the brain syndrome, but

helping them and taking care of the kids wasn't really

what the doc had in mind.

No, he saw this as a way to do his own fucked up work

that was more doctor death-like than anything,

if you know what I'm saying.

He liked to perform twisted experiments on them,

like injecting more food into their already swollen heads

just to see how much they could take.

And sometimes he would just keep on going, and going,

and going until they would just burst.

That's disgusting.

Yeah.

But the doc eventually got what was coming to him.

One night, all of his patients

got the best of him.

They ripped him to pieces with their bare hands and teeth,

and they burned the facility to the ground

and escaped out into these woods.

And they formed their own sort of tribe, really.

They mated with each other

and with their kids too.

Supposedly they're out there

stealing what they can to survive.

Always looking for fresh blood.

The end.

I, uh...

...guess I should have passed on that one.

- Ugh. - Hey, it's all right.

I mean, hell, it's just a bullshit urban legend.

You're safe here with us.

Safe with me, anyways.

Jeremy, what the fuck are you doing?

I'm just trying to give you options, Heather.

- That's all. - Options?

What's wrong with you?

Olivia and Craig are right over there.

-Are you crazy? -Oh, come on, Heather.

Hey, look, I'm sorry, all right?

You know me. I'm just all fucked up.

- I'll just go sleep it off. - Shut up, Jeremy.

Stay the hell away from me, you son of a bitch.

- Yeah? - Olivia.

Heather!

Craig.

Craig.

No!

It's so dark.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. No.

No. No.

No!

No!

That's awful.

I'm sorry to hear your patient was subjected to that ordeal.

She still, to this day, wakes up screaming

saying that she can see them moving around in the dark.

Do you believe it? Should I believe it?

Yes, Lana, do just that. Believe her.

And always remember,

she may be blind from a medical standpoint,

but as far as I'm concerned,

that young woman has more sight

than most people in the world today

because she knows the truth.

It's a shame it came at such a cost.

Lana, thanks for your call.

Wow, so that was a good start. Um...

Let's take some more. Let's keep this train on track.

Uh... Next caller, you're on the air.

And I-- And I see

that you would like to remain anonymous

and we can certainly do that for you.

Could you at least tell us

where you're calling from, caller?

Hi, yes. I was a park ranger

in the Northern Cascade Range.

Oh, beautiful country out there.

And dangerous.

I did specialize in search and rescue.

I've spent weeks looking for experienced campers

who've gotten lost.

Is there something wrong with your phone?

Or are you doing that?

Um, I am doing that, Mr. Dean.

My story is about one such mission I went on

with a relatively new partner.

A group of campers had gotten lost back in the wilds.

Now, they had been missing for about six days.

Each night in the forest reduced their chances

of coming out alive.

-You came. -Ma'am. Ma'am.

-You came. Good. -Are you okay?

I'm James. This is Steven.

We're gonna need you to answer the questions, okay?

- We're here to help you. - Okay. Good.

We're gonna try to stand you up, okay?

Let me get her back.

We're gonna lift you up, okay?

I can't walk.

Gently, gently, gently.

- I can't walk. - It's okay, it's okay.

Okay, something might be broken.

- He did this to me. - Holy fuck.

He did this to me.

- Hey, it's okay. - No, no, no!

They caught-- It's okay.

You have to sit-- We need to calm her down.

- Hey. Easy. - Hey, hey, hey.

Well, she's about as stable as can be expected.

My guess, I'll just leave the question.

-Who is he? -I don't know.

See, that's fucking my point.

We don't know who he is,

but you saw exactly what he did to her.

I know. Who would do that to a woman?

James, she was raped.

Horrifically.

Don't delude yourself on that fact.

I think we should get some shut eye.

We can take turns taking watch.

Yeah, you're right.

You know what, I'll take first watch.

I'm still keyed up.

Hey, Steve, you got that holster unsnapped?

Yeah.

Do me a favor and go shoot that fucking bird.

Uh, sounds like there's more than one.

Noisy fucking sparrow.

No, but you don't understand, that is weird.

I don't hear anything.

No cicadas, no-- no night owls, no tree frogs.

Nothing. Just those morning callers.

What was that?

-Steven! -Shit, James.

-What the fuck was that? -I shot him.

Him? Him?

-Yeah, fucking him. -Where?

Uh, over there.

Let's go, come on.

Goddamn it.

No.

Fuck, James there's more than one.

Let's pack this shit up.

Come on, man, we can at least go get that blood trail.

Yeah, fuck.

Oh, man, what the fuck?

Do you think it's where they come and die?

It's like it's some sort of elephant graveyard.

James, over there. There's a way out.

James.

Help me.

I can't believe I found you.

Gonna get you out of there, though.

- Won't make it. - Easy.

Easy.

I'm sorry you found me.

-Can you...? -Sorry.

-Can you move, walk, anything? -I'm sorry you found me.

No.

No.

Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that you found me.

I won't make it.

Please.

I walked for quite some time,

and as far as the girl?

I never did come across her again either.

Uh, hello?

Caller?

Well I guess he was done with that story. Um...

So moving on, we'll just take our next call.

Uh, hopefully a little less dark this time.

I see we have another mystery caller here named...

uh, Mr. Cold.

Oh, okay, Mr. Cold, you are on. Go ahead and entertain us.

Harlan.

Caller, please. Can you turn your radio down,

or are you calling from a vehicle?

Stop what you are doing.

Stop helping them.

Woah!

-Bump, what was that? -I have no idea.

There are no storms in the area.

Well, we'll keep on that

and try to make sure it doesn't happen again.

I'm dumping this call. Send me another one.

All right, I'm sorry again everybody,

there must be a full moon out tonight or something.

We're getting a few oddballs and I apologize.

I believe we're talking to Joe from Ohio.

Hey, yes. Sir. Harlan... ...I love your show.

Hello Buckeye Joe... ...and thank you.

So tell me a story, my friend. That's why we're here.

Oh, yeah, sorry. Um, I'll get right to it.

So there's been a story, it's been passed around

right here at our local bar, Gimlins,

for like a few years now

and it is really weird.

I love it already, Joe. The weirder the better.

Okay, uh, well here it goes.

Y'all see that?

Fish ain't biting.

I am truly sorry Marsha,

but I'm gonna have to cut the tutelage

of your husband short for today.

I almost got it on.

Goddamn it, Gordon, you ain't got that

tied on there yet?

As I said, I do apologize,

and I would gladly offer you a discount on your next outing.

Brigadier First Hand Colonel Oren P. Brundleman the Third,

Chief Explorer and Cryptozoologer?

No. Flip that over.

Oh.

This side came from a champion of a man.

Fantastic Dan,

King of Cannons.

This side I found on a highway cleanup crew

-outside of Lubbock, '97. -Is that blood?

When you pursue the unknown,

you need a specialized adventure suit.

One that provides flexibility...

protects you...

and breathability.

Welcome to my vessel of discovery.

This won't take long, but if it does,

there's hooch and bug spray under the life vest.

Oren!

-Gordon. -Marsha.

Marsha.

Ugh.

I hear you.

Dear God, that smarts.

Oren, you clever dog. You have found him.

I want your spine, Oren.

Oh, Oren.

Oh, Oren, Gordon was never this good.

Oh, Marsha.

Your husband's a terrible fisherman.

He's terrible at sex too.

You like that, uh-huh?

You put a baby in my wife, Oren.

Your spawn is kicking.

I gotta get out of here.

Why are you me?

-I ain't no meter maid. -I'm Deputy Kaufman, sir.

Don't "sir" me. Me?

-Help me. -Are you hurt?

-Did you hear that? There it is. -Is something chasing you?

It wants to have our babies.

Hey! Hey, come back here.

Hey, buddy, we need to get back to the road.

It is still out there. Don't let it get us.

It wants to have our babies.

And that's about it.

I mean it gets brought up every now and then,

but everybody just laughs it off.

Although nobody has ever seen Oren again since that night.

Well, thank you, Joe. Another good story.

I just think it's funny how the last two stories

had to deal with some interspecies coupling.

Either you guys have some really weird kinks out there

or the monsters do.

Go ahead...

...Ms. Wheels.

I would love to hear what you have to tell us.

Well, Harlan, um...

I wanna start off by saying I've been a paramedic

for about five years now.

But what I'm about to tell you

really dots the eye in weird in my career.

Well, we're all ears, Wheels.

This happened of all nights on Halloween night,

probably like four years ago, beginning of my career.

This just in,

there have been several reports

across the Washburn County area...

...of unidentified falling debris coming from the sky.

There have also been sightings of unidentified shapes,

seemingly floating around several local state parks.

Stay tuned as we continue to gather more information.

-You'll never take me alive! -Dad, Dad.

- Oh. - It's your son.

- Oh, Dale. Oh. - Uh, where's the bathroom?

Oh, of course. Yeah, let's go in the house.

Big day tomorrow.

When we return, we'll be talking

with eyewitnesses from last night's strange encounters.

And how some say it may be linked

to an incident 40 years ago in Hopkinsville, Kentucky.

Urban legend or real event?

We'll discuss more when we return

from our commercial break.

Dammit, Dale!

What? What are you yelling for?

You know I hate Halloween

and you take me to your dad's place,

which is decorated like a complete psycho killer's house.

This shit's everywhere.

Oh, I told you about my dad when he was a young kid.

He loves Halloween.

It's the only thing he truly gets excited for anymore

these days with Mom gone and his health not so good.

I always make it back for Halloween.

You do know that there is a hot tub here

just calling our names, right?

-I didn't even bring a swimsuit. -You don't even need one.

Nobody's gonna see you way out here.

Your dad?

He for sure won't mind.

Okay, well, I'm getting drunk first.

It's the only way I'm making it through tonight.

Deal.

And I get a massage.

Mr. Bones will even help.

What do you think it is?

Oh, I don't know.

Spacecraft...

Alien egg pod.

Maybe it's from NASA.

Who knows. One thing's for sure.

This'll be great for my front porch set up tonight.

Scare the kiddos for sure.

Thank God.

You know, I appreciate you coming out here

to visit me on Halloween.

I know you're a busy man.

It's my pleasure, Dad.

I always enjoy spending time with you,

especially on the best day of the year, Halloween.

Did you hear about those weird UFO sightings

that people were calling at the radio station about?

Happened last night.

People were saying they saw objects streak across the sky

and then vanish,

weird colors and noises,

just like in all those cheesy sci-fi movies

we'd watch when I was growing up.

You don't wanna know the truth.

What'd you say?

Yeah, we've got a few things to finish up

before the trick-or-treaters come around.

It was always your favorite part of Halloween, of course.

Still is.

Okay, Pops, we'll be back later.

Heading out to the annual Halloween Lodge party.

Okay, you kids have fun.

Hey, Ashley, nice costume!

Billy.

Billy. Billy.

Billy.

Billy.

We know you can hear us.

It's been a long time, Billy.

How did you find me?

It took us a long time to find you again.

Why are you doing this to me?

You're coming home with us.

You're ruining Halloween.

We didn't get you then, but we'll get you now.

Dad?

-Dad! -They got me.

I hate Halloween.

And that was the story he was telling us

as we took him to the ICU.

Honestly, I don't think any of us

really knew what to make of it.

So we kind of just let him babble.

But in a weird way, it kind of calmed him down,

helped him cling on until we made it to the hospital.

Well that is amazing.

Did the gentleman survive his incident?

Oh, yeah. He pulled through like a champ

and all the nurses at the hospital

really loved his company.

And now--

now he has two really interesting stories to tell.

Well, that's fantastic.

I'm glad to hear he is still among us.

I'd hate to have him pop up in one of our ghost episodes

down the road.

So, looks like we've got the barber

down in Texas on line one.

The barber, you're live on the Truth Serum.

Hello? Yeah. Hey, I love the show.

Hold on just a sec. I'm sorry to interrupt you,

but you say your name is the Barber,

so you cut hair, right?

Yeah, yeah, I cut hair, man. Yeah.

So how come the alias then?

Well, I've got some pretty exclusive customers

and it just wouldn't be good.

Okay, now you've got my attention.

Tell us what kind of cryptid you saw.

I saw a chupacabra. Or two of them.

You're in way out West Texas, right?

Yes, West Texas.

What part of West Texas, exactly?

Let's just say West Texas, man.

Okay, I totally understand.

Let's just get into your chupacabra story.

So like these nerdy guys,

they build this wall of TVs

that seem to run into like one big cable.

That cable goes out to the back of this van

which, it's got like this huge satellite dish on top of it.

After that's done,

that's when those jefes get here,

you know, the bosses.

The jefes gathered to watch this closed-circuit TV thing,

and where the cameras are filming,

man, I don't know.

And to tell the truth, I don't want to know.

This sounds like some crazy movie

you'd see on the B movie channel or something.

I'm-- But I'm all ears, Barber, please continue.

So at this warehouse,

the jefes, they choose a runner to represent them,

each one of them.

Now, who these people are

and why they'd volunteer to do this,

man, you got me bro.

I guess, like, low level street dealers,

they haven't produced or either they pissed off thejefes.

They're put in this dark warehouse

and that's when they call in El Guapo.

And he's carrying like these two dog carriers,

goes to a small door in the alley,

and sends the chupacabras in through the opening

to hunt down the runners, right?

All while he blows a silent whistle

hanging around his neck.

Come on, now!

Believe it or not, man,

I've seen it with my own two eyes.

Mr. Barber, so then what happens to the runners?

The dogs do what dogs do.

They hunt.

-Who the fuck are y'all? -Who the fuck are you?

None of your business, bean boy.

Was everyone kidnapped and brought here

against their will or was that just me?

-I was. -Samoan, I was too.

So we all have that in common?

Yeah. And we got our asses fucking kicked.

We have these numbers branded on our head.

-I know what this is. -What is it?

-This is payback. -Payback for what?

Payback for screwing over my boss.

So what, you're a dealer?

This ain't good, man.

You must be a rocket scientist. What ain't good?

This. These numbers on our head.

Us being in here together, y'all better get ready to fight.

Fight?

-Like each other? -No, something worse.

What you mean by that,vato?

Hey everyone, shut up.

Bam, bam, let's go!

No, no, definitely don't--

No, not-- back it up. Back.

See this motherfucker?

I paid you good solid dollars,

American dollars, I'll tell you,

which is number one currency in the fucking world.

And what do you do? You go and get killed.

You dumb motherfucker.

Y'all gonna drive me to drinking, bunch of assholes.

Really, he got his ass ate.

He got his ass ate.

It's me, it's me, it's me.

-You okay, dude? -Yeah, for now.

-What the hell are those things? -The chupacabras.

-Chupacabras? -Yes.

They're real, man. And this is a game.

A game? Like a game of survival?

Yeah. And it's game over, man.

Run!

Look, jump that, we'll be safe.

I will, but you won't.

What the fuck are you doing, man?

Fuck you, I ain't dying today.

What are you doing? Wait a minute, man!

Get back, you...

Fuck you, you two hairless bastards.

Nice knowing you, asshole.

Congratulations,cabrón.

Yeah, man, and that's about it.

Chupacabras do exist.

They're being used by the Mex-cartel as killing machines.

Wow.

That's just simply insane.

Okay my friend, we appreciate the story.

We'll send you a Truth Serum T-shirt for being on with us.

Hold on the line for our Mr. Bump

and he will get you squared away.

Well, there you have it, listeners.

Chupacabras do exist

and they're being used for killing people down in Texas.

Do you believe it? Do I believe it?

Absolutely.

Absolutely questionable.

So stay tuned

and we'll be right back after this break.

The Truth Serum will be right back

after a short commercial break.

-Bump, do you hear that? -Yeah, what the hell is that?

I don't know, but it sounds like

that weird call from earlier.

Are we picking up another source or something?

Or is somebody using a jammer?

I'll take care of it.

Now back to Major Harlan Dean

and his Truth Serum.

Don't turn out those lights.

Harlan. Harlan, the spot's over. You're back on.

Oh, shit. Here we go.

From Dover, Massachusetts. Caller, you're on the air.

Hello, Major.

Oh, yeah.

Whoa there partner. Turn that radio down, will ya?

Is that better?

Yes, okay, go ahead, caller.

You'll have to forgive me.

I have a strange question to ask.

You must have just tuned in.

I've been dealing with strange all night.

-What's your question? -I've got a GoPro...

...that was covered in glowing goo.

And the footage is crazy.

I sent it... ...to your email.

I think these two boys

captured footage of...

the Dover Demon.

It's rolling, it's rolling, it's rolling.

You gonna learn how to hit today, pussy?

Maybe.

Paul, I don't like baseball movies.

I like scary movies.

Have you seen Nightmare on Elm Street,

Texas Chainsaw, Halloween?

-Oh, hockey mask. -Jesus.

What the fuck?

I can't wait to see boobs in real life.

I'm gonna see so many boobs.

What do you think about the demon?

No one's seen Dover's claim to fame

since our parents were kids.

I don't even think it qualifies as a cryptid.

Probably just a retarded hairless

baby moose or something.

Corey thinks it's an alien that CTech--

Corey thinks everything is aliens.

CTech fired him and Tank for it.

Now he's a full schizo pothead grownup

living in his mom's garage.

He's still a smart-ass scientist.

One more time. Grip it. Grip it. Call the house.

Grip it,

grip it.

-Call the house. -That's our only ball!

No, don't touch it. It could have a bacteria

or flesh-eating virus or something.

Let's take it to the lab.

Where did you come from?

Corey, Tink, let us in, man.

Come on, no bullshit.

Dude, what took you so long?

You're not gonna believe--

Seriously, man.

You're gonna look at this thing or what?

All right, all right, cool your jets, man.

Call the house. You have a specimen.

We're gonna hypothesize, rationalize, analyze,

plagiarize, cross the T's dot the...

turns out to be some kind of new species of retarded moose.

We'll call Nat G.

But...

if it does turn out to be some kind of ET, Elliot,

what will you do?

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

I'll do what I do best. Decode that genome, baby.

Figure out who made it, where it came from.

That's no retarded moose.

Call the house.

Whatever this is, CTech is obviously behind it.

And this time, they're not gonna be able to laugh

and toss us out with the trash. Oh, no.

We got the proof in the decomposing pudding, baby.

This time they're gonna listen and they're gonna pay

'cause we got Tink, tantalizing and titillating

both the cerebrum and the pituitary

with their big old brains and those big old boobies.

And last but not least,

we got our new muscle.

The slayer of extraterrestrial beasts,

obviously slinging some serious hog down there.

Thick as a beer can! Long as my arm!

Ladies, look out!

Put all that together and you've got one badass,

unstoppable mystery team coming to fuck up your day.

There's just one problem.

-What? -What?

Flesh-eating virus!

So, what do you think

after watching the footage? That's...

That's proof, isn't it?

I don't know if that was proof of anything

except to wash your hands

and don't bag up dead aliens.

Wash my hands?

Oh, I wish I would've thought of that one.

Might have to get a drink here in a little bit.

I think we have time for one more call.

And we are talking to Sean.

Go ahead, Sean. You are on the Truth Serum.

I kind of wanted to talk about

those callers that sounded like they were pranking you.

Yeah, pranks can be funny, but sometimes

-they don't go as planned. -Well, people don't,

you know, realize what kind of repercussions

behavior like that can have. It seems funny at first,

but you never know what way it can turn.

And-- Are you gonna tell us why, though?

I have a feeling that this is where

your story is starting from.

Yeah, I'm from Bladenboro, North Carolina.

The home of the beast.

You see, I told you there'd be something in my dad's freezer

we could use.

Let's give it, like, another half hour

-and then we'll get started. -Sounds good to me.

You sure this is a good idea?

What's that doing up there?

What?

Either you tell me now or...

Oh, I'll read it on your tombstones

after Dad's done killing you.

Okay, Leah, here's how it is.

Do you wanna go to the movies with me on Friday?

That's it. You guys are in big trouble.

Leah.

It's about the beast.

-What? -You know, the beast.

Remember the story?

Yeah, Sean, I know about the beast.

Who the hell in Bladenboro doesn't. So?

So, it's back.

And we're gonna prove it's not just story.

I'm free Saturday too.

We have a solid plan and it's gonna work.

A solid plan, huh? A monster hunt is a solid plan?

Yeah, actually it is.

Oh, really? How so? I would love to hear this.

I mean,

how do you know that this thing is even still walking around?

Didn't that story happen like a really long time ago?

Yeah, but recently

there's been a lot of animal attacks.

Pets going missing, dying left and right,

just like when the beast came the first time around.

Do you even watch the news?

I really hate to bring you back to reality

but, pets die from wild animals all the time.

There are numerous culprits out there

that could be doing that. Like coyotes, for one.

-That's probably the best bet. -Really?

Well shit,

that makes total sense when you say it.

It's the coyotes decapitating them

and drinking all their blood.

Typical coyote behavior. Mm, mm, mm.

So, do you, uh,

want to help us out with this or...?

And watch two make total fools of yourselves?

Absolutely. I'm so in.

Made yourself comfortable?

We're gonna start surveillance soon.

So, this is obviously what we bait it in, with

cat videos and pop-up ads, right?

Yeah, not quite. See, what we're gonna do

is we're not only lowering it in with

fresh raw meat, which is what it's used to eating.

We're gonna hit it with something else.

Something it's a little more familiar with.

Sean, what in the hell is that?

Well, that...

was the only existing recording of the beast ever.

Supposedly someone got it just

a couple days before its last sighting.

Now, it's our ace card.

- You ready to roll, Matt? - Moment of truth.

Oh, my God.

I can't take this anymore.

- You've given up already? - Yeah, what the hell?

Talk about patience, geez.

Sean, I can literally only waste so much of my time

before it actually becomes impossible

to continue doing so.

What did you think was gonna happen?

It was just gonna pop out after five minutes?

Goodnight, Sean.

-Matt. -Yes?

Do you want me to rub your feet or something?

So...?

So? Go get it.

Oh, good. I love handling that thing.

I'm actually considering making it a hobby of mine.

Report suspicious activity

and call 9-1-1 for immediate response.

Expect delay, searches of personal property.

-Take personal security... -Leah.

...to avoid becoming a victim.

Sean, what the hell?

No, I told you I'm done.

I watched you fail. What else do you need from me?

- Leah, you gotta come here. - ...and local radio--

No, uh, I don't.

I gotta sit right here and pretend you don't exist.

Leah.

You gotta come help.

Please.

Sean?

...of persons that exhibit signs of infection.

Sean, what's wrong?

Sean?

Sean, what's going on? Where is Matt?

Sean? You're freaking me out.

Where is Matt?

I-- I don't know.

One moment he was here and now he's gone.

-What do you mean gone? -Gone, Leah, gone as in missing.

Do you see him right now?

Maybe he just

got bored and went home or something.

He would've said something if he went home.

I told him to take this down for me.

When I went to check on it, the meat was gone

and so was he.

Sean, what do you think you're doing?

I'm looking for my friend.

You don't even give a shit about him,

-so why do you care? -Listen to me.

We have to go back and call for help.

-You understand? -No, we gotta go look for him.

-He needs us right now. -Sean, please.

I got him. I heard it call.

I had to find him. Thank God I got here in time.

It was gonna get you kids.

What are you guys doing out here with this thing running around?

We're looking for another boy.

His best friend, have you seen him?

Boy? There ain't no boy out here.

Just that son of a bitch thing.

And when it killed my dog,

the only thing I ever loved in my life,

and he took-- he took his fucking head.

-I can't believe I got him. -Mister, listen,

we have to call the police, okay?

They need to know about this.

I got him, I got him. I can't believe I got him.

-Do you understand me? -Son of a bitch.

Where do you live? Do you live near here?

Mister, please?

Sean, don't touch that.

Oh, fuck.

I didn't know. I swear, I didn't know.

It was an accident.

Stupid asshole.

- It was a prank. - Oh, God.

You killed him, you motherfucker.

I swear to God, I'll fucking kill--

You saw it. He attacked me. I had to protect myself.

-I'm calling the police. -Leah.

-Run! -No.

No.

I'm sorry, son, but I can't go to jail.

It was an accident.

Forgive me.

Son,

save me.

No.

So yeah, that's how a simple, stupid prank

got my best friend and my sister killed.

So anyone out there that's listening,

you're thinking about doing a prank,

there's some things you just can't take back.

Well.

I thought these stories were going to be

at least a little fun.

Sorry about that downer to all my listeners out there.

This has definitely taken a turn

down a sadder path than expected.

Oh, okay. Well, I'm getting the signal.

It's that time.

This concludes this episode of the Truth Serum.

I wanna thank our callers for sharing their stories with us.

For those listeners who love to hear about things

that go bump in the night,

we never know what's just lurking beyond the shadows,

hiding, waiting, watching.

Join us next week when our topic of conversation

will be haunted highways.

Good evening. And sleep tight.

And now, it's time to say goodnight

to the Truth Serum

and hello to our next block of easy-listening jazz,

brought to you by WQRK, easy listening.

You know, you could knock next time.

And what would be the fun in that?

I take it you recorded it all the way

like you were instructed?

-You seem like a smart man. -Wasn't that hard at all.

What'll happen to the callers?

It's not your concern, Mr. Dean.

Don't let it cost you any sleep.

You know, one of these days, this little charade of yours...

it's not gonna work.

Despite your best attempts to conceal it,

the truth will get out there.

For the sake of all mankind, Mr. Dean,

pray it never does.

Goodnight.

Harlan,

I warned you.

You didn't listen.

This time, Harlan, it's time to sign off.