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All language subtitles for #coaching #psychologyfacts #psychology #paychologyfacts #leadership #entreupreneur [English] [translated] [GetSubs.cc]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,560 --> 00:00:02,160 how to manipulate people for good 2 00:00:02,161 --> 00:00:07,460 part 4 so I'm a psychologist and I'm gonna teach you how to help people change 3 00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:08,500 but for good 4 00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:13,140 and so today we're gonna talk about change talk and sustain talk 5 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:17,440 and so this comes from essentially the gold standard in helping people change 6 00:00:17,441 --> 00:00:19,820 which is called motivational interviewing 7 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,280 there's a great book on this topic 8 00:00:21,281 --> 00:00:22,080 but essentially 9 00:00:22,081 --> 00:00:28,180 this is used for a lot of very severe behaviours in the field of psychology 10 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:32,140 and so you can use it to get your partner to take out the trash 11 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:36,160 and so the idea behind change talk and sustained talk is that 12 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:38,740 whenever we want to do a new behaviour 13 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,920 we have a part of us that wants to change 14 00:00:41,921 --> 00:00:43,980 and a part of us that doesn't want to change 15 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:45,960 and in helping people change 16 00:00:45,961 --> 00:00:49,180 we need to actually allow both of those parts to exist 17 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:52,480 and so we need to approach a lot of change conversations 18 00:00:52,481 --> 00:00:55,080 with much more curiosity and calm 19 00:00:55,081 --> 00:00:57,720 than we typically approach them with 20 00:00:57,721 --> 00:01:00,720 so in the normal style of communication 21 00:01:00,721 --> 00:01:02,580 a lot of times we give advice 22 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:06,440 we criticize we just kind of um 23 00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:08,460 barred people with our opinion 24 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:11,440 and these are not effective ways to make people change 25 00:01:11,441 --> 00:01:13,980 people will maybe change for like a day 26 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:16,480 and then they'll go back to whatever they were doing 27 00:01:16,481 --> 00:01:18,300 and they probably will resent you for it 28 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,400 and so what we actually wanna do is 29 00:01:20,401 --> 00:01:26,160 we wanna give them the space to talk about their ideas around change 30 00:01:26,161 --> 00:01:28,500 and their ideas around sustaining their behaviour 31 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:32,480 and so that could just be a very curious kind of conversation 32 00:01:32,481 --> 00:01:35,960 and approaching them with an open ended question like hey 33 00:01:35,961 --> 00:01:39,540 what do you think about um joining a gym 34 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:44,320 like what do you think about implementing something um 35 00:01:44,321 --> 00:01:46,100 related to fitness in our lives 36 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:49,860 maybe you're tryna um help someone be a little bit healthier 37 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:52,640 and so if you're trying to get someone to exercise 38 00:01:52,641 --> 00:01:55,700 this is a more effective way of eliciting it 39 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,160 and so usually they're gonna offer you their opinion 40 00:01:58,161 --> 00:01:59,360 they're gonna be like well yeah 41 00:01:59,361 --> 00:02:00,720 like you know 42 00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,040 I'd love to become more fit 43 00:02:02,041 --> 00:02:04,880 but at the same time I'm so busy and you know 44 00:02:04,881 --> 00:02:08,780 like I haven't worked out in five years and I don't even know where to start 45 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:09,620 blah blah blah 46 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:12,440 and so you need to listen very carefully to what they say 47 00:02:12,441 --> 00:02:14,980 and then your job all your job is 48 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:18,940 is to repeat it back to them in essentially a summarized version 49 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:20,640 you could say like oh yeah 50 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,260 I know where you're coming from 51 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,440 like you're you're really busy 52 00:02:24,441 --> 00:02:26,120 like you're objectively busy 53 00:02:26,121 --> 00:02:28,440 and it's just been so long since you've been to the gym 54 00:02:28,441 --> 00:02:32,740 but at the same time you really value getting more healthy 55 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:34,880 and so essentially 56 00:02:34,881 --> 00:02:39,340 what you wanna do in this repetition of their content back to them 57 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,440 is you want to highlight the change 58 00:02:41,441 --> 00:02:44,040 talk a little bit over the sustained talk 59 00:02:44,041 --> 00:02:45,240 so in this example 60 00:02:45,241 --> 00:02:50,640 the sustained talk was I'm too busy and I haven't worked out in five years 61 00:02:50,641 --> 00:02:54,620 that's sustained talk that those sentences will sustain the behaviour 62 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:57,880 and there was one sentence that was changed talk 63 00:02:57,881 --> 00:03:02,940 and that sentence was um I would really like to be more healthy 64 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:04,640 and so what you want to do 65 00:03:04,641 --> 00:03:07,960 as you're speaking with this individual that you're helping change 66 00:03:07,961 --> 00:03:11,840 is you want to highlight the change talk 67 00:03:11,841 --> 00:03:13,920 and sometimes all you need to do 68 00:03:13,921 --> 00:03:18,220 is actually just add the change talk to the end of your summary 69 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:21,000 and so often times when we receive a summary back to us 70 00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:23,040 we better remember what's at the end 71 00:03:23,041 --> 00:03:25,340 instead of what was in the beginning and the middle 72 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:28,640 and so you could just do that or you could um 73 00:03:28,641 --> 00:03:32,360 talk about it just a little bit longer the the change talk 74 00:03:32,361 --> 00:03:34,200 there's lots of strategies on how to do this 75 00:03:34,201 --> 00:03:36,880 if you wanna learn more about motivational interviewing 76 00:03:36,881 --> 00:03:37,640 comment below 77 00:03:37,641 --> 00:03:41,900 and I can teach you all more things on how to do this technique with others 78 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,080 but essentially you need to approach with a sense of curiosity 79 00:03:45,081 --> 00:03:46,640 an open ended question 80 00:03:46,641 --> 00:03:50,920 and essentially just sitting there and summarizing their thoughts back to them 81 00:03:50,921 --> 00:03:55,800 a lot of times we actually know just having your thoughts summarize back to you 82 00:03:55,801 --> 00:03:58,160 will elicit the change behaviour 83 00:03:58,161 --> 00:04:02,220 even without have the other person having to try too hard to elicit it 84 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:07,700 and this is how you help people change in a compassionate and sustainable way 85 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:12,760 in which the person still maintains a close and healthy relationship with you 86 00:04:12,761 --> 00:04:14,500 and you're not criticizing 87 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:19,660 you're not complaining and you're not making someone feel resentful towards you 7461