Original subtitles

Are you ready, kids?

kids: Aye, aye, Captain!

I can't hear you.

kids: Aye, aye, Captain!

♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob

SquarePants!

Oh, Lady Upturn!

Always a delight to have you back at our gallery.

I'm bored by the art in my home.

What do you have that's new and interesting?

Ick.

Oh, I-I've been saving our newest and finest

pieces just for you.

This work is by one of our emerging artists.

Bleh.

Where did they emerge from, under a rock?

Ah, how did you know?

Lady Upturn, I am so, so sorry.

I should never have shown you that dreck.

Never fear.

This next work is guaranteed to excite.

Bikini Bottom's premier dance troupe

has created a performance so new,

even they don't know what it is yet.

Yawn.

Moving in time to music is hardly new.

This does nothing for me, either.

Oh, surely, there's something here you'll enjoy.

No, I'm afraid not.

Regigilled!

I need a walk to clear my mind.

Carry me. - Very good, ma'am.

Alas, I have failed.

Ow.

Whoo!

No!

- Oh? - Oh.

My apologies, madam.

I shall remove your person from this cacophony at once.

No, no, Regigilled. Take me closer.

As you wish.

You, there!

Yes, you!

I'm allowed to play my clarinet here.

It's a free ocean, you know.

I'm not stopping!

Stop?

I wouldn't dream of it.

That is the most interesting and avant-garde music

I have heard in years.

Oh, it is sublime.

Do you have a patron? I simply must be yours.

Yeah, yeah, very funny.

What is this, one of those hidden-camera TV prank shows?

Heavens, no.

Television is the lowest form of art.

Regigilled, pay the man.

You can't just buy the soul of a raw talent like myself.

Lady, you just bought yourself an artist.

Hello, losers.

Hi, Squidward.

What's with all the joy, Mr. Squidward?

I'm a paid musician now.

You? Musician? Paid?

Laugh all you want, but it's true.

I don't need this minimum-wage prison anymore.

I quit.

Huh?

Wow!

Squidward's dreams are finally coming true.

Welcome to your new home, Mr. Tentacles.

Oh, my, it's incredible.

But where are you going to live?

The mansion is mine.

You just get one tiny room.

Oh, my.

Wow!

I cannot wait to show you off

to my wealthy, taste-making friends,

so you better get writing.

Yes, ma'am, ma'am.

Toodle-oo, you genius, you.

Out of my way, peon.

So sorry, my lord.

Wow, Squidward.

That was very, uh, confident of you.

Yes.

Being an artist requires having an artist's temperament,

you boob.

What took you so long?

Now, then, I'm only here to invite you

both to my big debut concert.

Huh?

Witness my rebirth on the grandest stage

in Bikini Bottom...

if you can get the time off.

Somehow, he's even more annoying now

than when he worked here.

Wait, Mr. Krabs.

Squidward is just being insufferable because his dreams

are coming true.

We have to go and support him. We're his friends.

Well, "friends" is a strong word, but fine.

Hiya, Squidward.

Mr. Krabs and I just wanted to wish you luck

before your big show.

Luck? Don't be stupid.

I'm the greatest musician who ever lived.

Rich people say so.

- Can't argue with money. - Now, go find your seats.

I'm in the middle of my pre-show ritual,

and I don't want to be bothered.

Eh.

Good evening, music lovers.

Like me, I'm sure you are tired of the same old notes being

played the same old ways.

Well, fear not.

Tonight you will finally hear something new.

Tonight I present to you

Mr. Squidward Tentacles.

Forget your wedding.

Forget the birth of your first child.

This is going to be

the greatest night of your lives.

all: Oh!

Oh, isn't it dazzling, Doctor?

Oh.

Hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yes.

Pardon me, Lady Upturn.

May I...?

Of course, Dr. Fishberg.

Lady Upturn, there's a jellyfish blocking your ears.

Oh, goodness!

It must have gotten stuck up there during my walk

through Jellyfish Fields.

Oh. Is that what he really sounds like?

This music is terrible!

Indeed.

The jellyfish's buzzing must have altered the noise

to be more pleasurable for you.

Oh!

Stop that racket!

Stop it!

How dare you interrupt m--

I have a confession to make.

A jellyfish was obstructing my ears,

so I hadn't truly heard this fraud's music.

And now that I have,

I am offended!

Hey!

To make up for this abysmal performance,

I would like to invite you all back to my home

to experience real music

by my newest artiste, Maestro Patrick Star.

What?

Yay!

Huh? Uh...

Oh.

- Whoo! Go, Squidward! - Encore! Encore!

We want more!

- We want more! - Do you really mean it?

Of course.

We've got jellyfish.

Huh.

I'll take what I can get.

- Yeah! Whoo! - Whoo-hoo!

Come on, Squidward!