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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,466 --> 00:00:13,500 ( radio tuning ) 2 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,066 Of course the Warren commission 3 00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:20,733 was Bull, but that doesn't change 4 00:00:20,766 --> 00:00:22,266 the bottom line. 5 00:00:22,300 --> 00:00:23,766 Oswald did it! 6 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:26,500 He was a Patsy for the military. 7 00:00:26,533 --> 00:00:30,200 Who is this guy, Oliver stone's retard brother? 8 00:00:30,233 --> 00:00:32,933 Read my lips! 9 00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:34,933 There was no conspiracy. 10 00:00:34,966 --> 00:00:36,833 No friggin' way a bunch 11 00:00:36,866 --> 00:00:38,733 of jar-Headed foul-Ups 12 00:00:38,766 --> 00:00:41,300 who pay 800 bucks for a toilet seat 13 00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:42,933 could pull that off. 14 00:00:42,966 --> 00:00:45,066 You're outta here. 15 00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:46,933 Trudy, isn't there anyone 16 00:00:46,966 --> 00:00:49,866 that has something intelligent to say tonight? 17 00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:52,266 Your pal Rudy's on line two. 18 00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:54,133 I guess the answer's no. 19 00:00:54,166 --> 00:00:55,633 Hey, loser. 20 00:00:55,666 --> 00:00:58,366 How's life on the other side of the galaxy? 21 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,433 I told you not to call me that. 22 00:01:00,466 --> 00:01:01,966 Mr. Sensitive. 23 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,266 You still live in your parents' basement? 24 00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:06,433 You only go out when your extraterrestrial buddies 25 00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:07,966 take you for a joyride. 26 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,700 Let me check the dictionary. 27 00:01:09,733 --> 00:01:11,166 Yep, there's your picture. 28 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,200 Right there under "Loser." 29 00:01:13,233 --> 00:01:15,033 ( taped laughter ) 30 00:01:15,066 --> 00:01:16,800 Well, I'd love to chat, 31 00:01:16,833 --> 00:01:19,500 but I've got another mental defective on line three. 32 00:01:19,533 --> 00:01:22,166 Eldon, is it True? 33 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:26,266 You have actual proof that we're surrounded by aliens? 34 00:01:26,300 --> 00:01:28,266 Just because you've never seen a thing 35 00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:30,066 doesn't mean it isn't real. 36 00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:31,933 I'm shaking, Eldon. 37 00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:34,266 Come on, lay your proof on me. 38 00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:35,833 I can take it. 39 00:01:35,866 --> 00:01:38,933 They're inside people. 40 00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:40,933 Lots of people. 41 00:01:40,966 --> 00:01:43,566 Except most of them don't know it. 42 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:45,833 But somehow you do. 43 00:01:45,866 --> 00:01:47,933 Let me ask you something... 44 00:01:47,966 --> 00:01:50,933 Why is it these space invaders, 45 00:01:50,966 --> 00:01:54,766 they never visit presidents of universities 46 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,933 or brain surgeons? 47 00:01:56,966 --> 00:02:01,633 How come they always show up at some trailer park 48 00:02:01,666 --> 00:02:03,366 to a mook with bad teeth 49 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,733 Who's got a love thang For his sister? 50 00:02:05,766 --> 00:02:08,900 I didn't ask to be infested by an alien. 51 00:02:08,933 --> 00:02:10,433 Sure, you did. 52 00:02:10,466 --> 00:02:12,933 You stopped taking your medication. 53 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,433 Do me a favor. 54 00:02:14,466 --> 00:02:16,933 Pull over, let me talk to e.T. 55 00:02:16,966 --> 00:02:18,966 I'll straighten you both out. 56 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,866 I can feel him under my skin. 57 00:02:20,900 --> 00:02:22,933 He's trying to get out. 58 00:02:22,966 --> 00:02:25,433 You want to know the truth, Eldon? 59 00:02:25,466 --> 00:02:27,433 There are no aliens, 60 00:02:27,466 --> 00:02:30,433 not in our little corner of hell. 61 00:02:30,466 --> 00:02:32,466 And if there were, 62 00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:36,433 the last person they'd want to hang out with is you... 63 00:02:36,466 --> 00:02:39,966 A floater in the shallow end of the Gene pool. 64 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,433 I can't stand it anymore. 65 00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:43,966 Me either! 66 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,433 Do yourself a favor... 67 00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:47,933 Put yourself out of your misery. 68 00:02:47,966 --> 00:02:49,900 Your friends will thank me. 69 00:02:56,333 --> 00:02:59,700 Well, people, I've got to hand it to you. 70 00:02:59,733 --> 00:03:02,633 You've taken an otherwise depressing evening 71 00:03:02,666 --> 00:03:05,933 and made it truly dismal. 72 00:03:05,966 --> 00:03:07,933 So until tomorrow, 73 00:03:07,966 --> 00:03:12,200 unless I get really lucky and die, 74 00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:14,466 this is Stan harbinger... 75 00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:16,433 ( recording ) the harbinger of truth, 76 00:03:16,466 --> 00:03:19,433 truth, truth, truth, truth... 77 00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:21,933 we got to talk about tomorrow. 78 00:03:21,966 --> 00:03:23,433 Huh? 79 00:03:23,466 --> 00:03:24,933 The syndication meeting? 80 00:03:24,966 --> 00:03:26,433 We need another station. 81 00:03:26,466 --> 00:03:28,933 Tulsa bailed, and we need at least 35 markets. 82 00:03:28,966 --> 00:03:31,300 Trudy, you're the producer... Produce. 83 00:03:40,333 --> 00:03:41,766 Can I help you? 84 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,300 I'm Eldon. 85 00:03:43,333 --> 00:03:44,900 We've been waiting for you. 86 00:03:50,266 --> 00:03:51,700 Hey, take it easy. 87 00:03:51,733 --> 00:03:54,400 If you can see the light, you can see the truth. 88 00:03:54,433 --> 00:03:57,466 What, are you out of your mind? 89 00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:58,800 ( screaming ) 90 00:04:06,933 --> 00:04:09,033 Oh, my god. 91 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,766 ( heart beating ) 92 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,366 What the... 93 00:04:39,633 --> 00:04:42,700 ( control voice ) There is nothing wrong with your television. 94 00:04:42,733 --> 00:04:45,433 Do not attempt to adjust the picture. 95 00:04:45,466 --> 00:04:48,333 We are now controlling the transmission. 96 00:04:48,366 --> 00:04:50,600 We control the horizontal, 97 00:04:50,633 --> 00:04:52,566 and the vertical. 98 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,366 We can deluge you with a thousand channels 99 00:04:55,400 --> 00:05:00,200 or expand one single image to crystal clarity... 100 00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:02,233 and beyond. 101 00:05:02,266 --> 00:05:04,400 We can shape your vision 102 00:05:04,433 --> 00:05:07,700 to anything our imagination can conceive. 103 00:05:09,866 --> 00:05:11,666 For the next hour, 104 00:05:11,700 --> 00:05:15,833 we will control all that you see and hear. 105 00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:21,966 ( ♪ ) 106 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:26,700 You are about to experience the awe and mystery 107 00:05:26,733 --> 00:05:29,666 which reaches from the deepest inner mind 108 00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:32,533 to the outer limits. 109 00:05:39,484 --> 00:05:42,884 The skeptic's world is a secure one 110 00:05:42,917 --> 00:05:45,917 built on unshakable truths. 111 00:05:45,950 --> 00:05:48,417 But what happens when its foundation 112 00:05:48,450 --> 00:05:50,450 begins to crumble? 113 00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:53,350 I told you, the guy was already waiting for me. 114 00:05:53,384 --> 00:05:55,417 He was covered in gasoline. 115 00:05:55,450 --> 00:05:59,017 He said a bunch of stuff that didn't make any sense. 116 00:05:59,050 --> 00:06:01,350 You didn't try to stop him? 117 00:06:01,384 --> 00:06:03,684 Try to stop him? There wasn't any time. 118 00:06:03,717 --> 00:06:05,017 Then what happened? 119 00:06:05,050 --> 00:06:07,350 Then I got out the marshmallows. 120 00:06:09,884 --> 00:06:11,917 The guy burned to death. 121 00:06:11,950 --> 00:06:14,184 End of story. 122 00:06:14,217 --> 00:06:16,417 Thanks very much, Mr. Harbinger. 123 00:06:16,450 --> 00:06:18,250 We'll get back to you. 124 00:06:18,284 --> 00:06:19,917 Thanks. 125 00:06:21,950 --> 00:06:25,384 When I think about What happened to that poor guy... 126 00:06:25,417 --> 00:06:26,917 poor guy? 127 00:06:26,950 --> 00:06:29,417 Trudy, the guy tried to set me on fire. 128 00:06:29,450 --> 00:06:31,584 He would have too, if he hadn't... 129 00:06:31,617 --> 00:06:34,417 hadn't? 130 00:06:34,450 --> 00:06:35,950 Look. 131 00:06:35,984 --> 00:06:40,417 Given the right time, place, circumstances 132 00:06:40,450 --> 00:06:44,750 anyone is capable of imagining anything. 133 00:06:44,784 --> 00:06:47,317 What the hell is that supposed to mean? 134 00:06:47,350 --> 00:06:49,917 It means... 135 00:06:49,950 --> 00:06:52,484 the guy was a deranged nutjob. 136 00:06:52,517 --> 00:06:55,350 He got what he deserved. 137 00:07:06,150 --> 00:07:07,917 There he is! 138 00:07:07,950 --> 00:07:09,917 Stan, how do you feel 139 00:07:09,950 --> 00:07:11,917 about that guy killing himself 140 00:07:11,950 --> 00:07:13,417 because of you? 141 00:07:13,450 --> 00:07:15,250 Has geraman broadcasting 142 00:07:15,284 --> 00:07:18,384 changed its mind about syndicating you? 143 00:07:18,417 --> 00:07:20,950 Don't those people have a war to cover? 144 00:07:20,984 --> 00:07:22,450 The press are morons. 145 00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:24,917 What are we going to say to Phil? 146 00:07:24,950 --> 00:07:27,417 Don't worry about Phil. 147 00:07:27,450 --> 00:07:29,417 Phil, how are you? 148 00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:31,417 Stan, you didn't say anything 149 00:07:31,450 --> 00:07:33,450 to those ratbags, did you? 150 00:07:33,484 --> 00:07:35,917 I'm saving it for the show. 151 00:07:35,950 --> 00:07:37,984 Well, we should talk about that. 152 00:07:38,017 --> 00:07:39,950 Phil, don't make me angry. 153 00:07:39,984 --> 00:07:42,917 My listeners will expect me to talk about this. 154 00:07:42,950 --> 00:07:45,950 I want you to talk about it, but we've got to be careful. 155 00:07:45,984 --> 00:07:47,450 The dead guy. Eldon Devries. 156 00:07:47,484 --> 00:07:49,884 His wife wants to Sue everybody. Let her. 157 00:07:49,917 --> 00:07:51,284 It's totally meritless. 158 00:07:51,317 --> 00:07:54,250 Do you honestly believe that it was my fault? 159 00:07:54,284 --> 00:07:55,784 In a literal sense? 160 00:07:55,817 --> 00:07:57,817 In any sense. 161 00:07:57,850 --> 00:08:00,384 Geraman broadcasting has spent a great deal of money 162 00:08:00,417 --> 00:08:02,350 trying to syndicate your program. 163 00:08:02,384 --> 00:08:04,784 We've already lost one potential affiliate 164 00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:07,250 due to local advertiser resistance. 165 00:08:07,284 --> 00:08:08,450 In tulsa! 166 00:08:08,484 --> 00:08:10,517 We've got three more stations interested. 167 00:08:10,550 --> 00:08:12,750 Amarillo, poughkeepsie, baton rouge. 168 00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:15,117 You hear that? Poughkeepsie. 169 00:08:15,150 --> 00:08:17,050 Are you aware of a group called the believers? 170 00:08:17,084 --> 00:08:19,384 Are you aware of a thing called a nose hair trimmer? 171 00:08:19,417 --> 00:08:21,317 They're one of those idiotic ufo Groups 172 00:08:21,350 --> 00:08:24,650 that think the Sky is falling and the government is in on it. 173 00:08:24,684 --> 00:08:27,150 Everywhere they look, they see aliens. 174 00:08:27,184 --> 00:08:28,650 They're cranks. 175 00:08:28,684 --> 00:08:31,050 Lower on the food chain than trekkies. 176 00:08:31,084 --> 00:08:33,117 You have antagonized them in the past. 177 00:08:33,150 --> 00:08:35,384 Because they live in a dreamworld. 178 00:08:35,417 --> 00:08:37,517 They're not reasonable people. 179 00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:39,917 They're saying that you haven't been 180 00:08:39,950 --> 00:08:41,917 entirely truthful about what happened. 181 00:08:41,950 --> 00:08:44,817 Have you been truthful with us, with the police? 182 00:08:44,850 --> 00:08:46,817 No, I set the guy on fire. 183 00:08:46,850 --> 00:08:49,417 ( Trudy ) How could you take these people seriously? 184 00:08:49,450 --> 00:08:52,417 They have a good-Sized membership which they say 185 00:08:52,450 --> 00:08:55,484 they'll use to protest in every city that you go into. 186 00:08:55,517 --> 00:08:57,184 Perfect... Instant publicity. 187 00:08:57,217 --> 00:08:58,917 Instant bad publicity. 188 00:08:58,950 --> 00:09:00,350 Phil... 189 00:09:00,384 --> 00:09:02,384 it's a controversial show. 190 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:05,250 What better than to go wide during a controversy? 191 00:09:05,284 --> 00:09:07,317 Stan, this is more than a controversy. 192 00:09:07,350 --> 00:09:09,350 A man is dead here. 193 00:09:09,384 --> 00:09:10,917 And these believers say 194 00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:13,917 that you might have something to do with it. 195 00:09:13,950 --> 00:09:15,417 Big picture... 196 00:09:15,450 --> 00:09:17,650 We want advertisers with peace of mind 197 00:09:17,684 --> 00:09:19,484 and a willingness to spend money. 198 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:20,984 The little picture... 199 00:09:21,017 --> 00:09:24,417 Angry nutjobs get stroked, they go back into their holes. 200 00:09:24,450 --> 00:09:26,017 Where's the difficulty? 201 00:09:29,450 --> 00:09:32,484 So you want me to stroke them a little. 202 00:09:32,517 --> 00:09:34,917 Exactly. 203 00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:38,617 And please, apologize to the guy's family. 204 00:09:38,650 --> 00:09:43,250 No mea culpas, Just you deeply regret that it happened. 205 00:09:43,284 --> 00:09:47,184 Deeply and sincerely. 206 00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:55,417 So I guess what I'm saying, people, 207 00:09:55,450 --> 00:10:00,917 is that it's tragic, the loss of life. 208 00:10:00,950 --> 00:10:02,917 It's always unfortunate. 209 00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:06,917 And this guy, Eldon, 210 00:10:06,950 --> 00:10:10,384 though he was obviously disturbed, 211 00:10:10,417 --> 00:10:13,984 I do feel... what I mean is 212 00:10:14,017 --> 00:10:16,784 the fact that he died... 213 00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,550 I'm sorry, 214 00:10:27,584 --> 00:10:29,417 but it's not my fault. 215 00:10:29,450 --> 00:10:31,450 The man was delusional, 216 00:10:31,484 --> 00:10:35,417 and so are all of his whackjob, stargazing friends. 217 00:10:35,450 --> 00:10:37,917 Klaatu barada nikto. 218 00:10:37,950 --> 00:10:40,550 Loosely translated, 219 00:10:40,584 --> 00:10:42,917 "get lives, people." 220 00:10:42,950 --> 00:10:45,817 No apology will be forthcoming. 221 00:10:45,850 --> 00:10:48,384 If that means kissing my job Goodbye, 222 00:10:48,417 --> 00:10:49,884 then so be it. 223 00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:52,217 I'd rather flip burgers 224 00:10:52,250 --> 00:10:54,250 than sit here telling people 225 00:10:54,284 --> 00:10:56,684 a bunch of stuff I don't believe in. 226 00:10:56,717 --> 00:10:59,417 You want sweet talk that makes you feel Better? 227 00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:00,917 Then go to your mamas. 228 00:11:00,950 --> 00:11:04,950 You want the truth, then you've come to the right place. 229 00:11:04,984 --> 00:11:07,317 Tell me that's what we're doing here, 230 00:11:07,350 --> 00:11:10,617 people, because I'm starting to lose faith. 231 00:11:10,650 --> 00:11:12,150 Marco, speak to me. 232 00:11:12,184 --> 00:11:13,917 My station manager right? 233 00:11:13,950 --> 00:11:16,784 F him, dude. He's a total jerk. 234 00:11:16,817 --> 00:11:19,517 Sheila, you agree? 235 00:11:19,550 --> 00:11:21,950 You're the harbinger of truth, Stan. 236 00:11:21,984 --> 00:11:23,917 They should apologize to you. 237 00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:26,817 You think you headed us off at the pass? 238 00:11:26,850 --> 00:11:29,317 No, I don't think anything. 239 00:11:29,350 --> 00:11:33,017 But I know what I know. 240 00:11:38,650 --> 00:11:41,917 Eddie, you read my mind. 241 00:11:41,950 --> 00:11:44,950 It's from the lady at the bar. 242 00:11:49,950 --> 00:11:52,417 You going to make me drink this alone? 243 00:11:52,450 --> 00:11:55,050 I wouldn't dream of invading your privacy. 244 00:11:55,084 --> 00:11:57,550 You can invade. I won't complain. 245 00:11:57,584 --> 00:12:00,217 Enjoy the drink. 246 00:12:13,784 --> 00:12:16,284 I insist you invade my privacy. 247 00:12:16,317 --> 00:12:17,917 My name's Stan. 248 00:12:17,950 --> 00:12:19,917 I know who you are. 249 00:12:19,950 --> 00:12:21,950 Caught your show tonight. 250 00:12:21,984 --> 00:12:24,917 You left quite a few bodies in your wake. 251 00:12:24,950 --> 00:12:26,417 Yeah, well, 252 00:12:26,450 --> 00:12:28,917 just giving them what they pay me for. 253 00:12:28,950 --> 00:12:30,917 I didn't catch your name. 254 00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:32,484 Darcy. 255 00:12:32,517 --> 00:12:34,017 Mind if I sit down, 256 00:12:34,050 --> 00:12:35,950 Darcy? 257 00:12:35,984 --> 00:12:38,684 You a regular listener? 258 00:12:38,717 --> 00:12:40,217 Occasional. 259 00:12:40,250 --> 00:12:43,350 It's not often I'm by a radio that time of night. 260 00:12:43,384 --> 00:12:45,584 Well, what are you usually doing? 261 00:12:45,617 --> 00:12:47,984 Working. 262 00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:50,717 Playing... whatever. 263 00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:53,750 But not tonight. 264 00:12:53,784 --> 00:12:55,917 No. 265 00:12:55,950 --> 00:12:57,550 Tonight I got lucky. 266 00:13:01,550 --> 00:13:03,917 Let me put it this way. 267 00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:06,417 I come from the, um... 268 00:13:06,450 --> 00:13:10,050 other side of the other side of the tracks. 269 00:13:10,084 --> 00:13:12,417 You know that expression 270 00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:15,917 "The Meek shall inherit the earth." 271 00:13:15,950 --> 00:13:21,250 What it really means is they inherit the dirt. 272 00:13:21,284 --> 00:13:26,150 Life is pointless, heaven's a fantasy, 273 00:13:26,184 --> 00:13:30,317 and hell is right here on earth. 274 00:13:30,350 --> 00:13:33,684 Doesn't give a person much reason to go on living. 275 00:13:33,717 --> 00:13:36,584 Ah, but that's why you... 276 00:13:36,617 --> 00:13:40,417 you have to find the reason. 277 00:13:40,450 --> 00:13:42,750 From the moment I saw you, 278 00:13:42,784 --> 00:13:45,217 I had a definite reason. 279 00:13:45,250 --> 00:13:47,217 And what would that be? 280 00:13:47,250 --> 00:13:50,850 To see how good you'd look 281 00:13:50,884 --> 00:13:54,684 with this outfit folded over a chair. 282 00:13:54,717 --> 00:13:57,917 And that's supposed to give me a reason to go on? 283 00:13:57,950 --> 00:14:00,084 It's the reason you bought me a drink. 284 00:14:00,117 --> 00:14:02,917 Actually, no. 285 00:14:02,950 --> 00:14:07,184 I, um, I just wanted to get to know you better. 286 00:14:07,217 --> 00:14:09,284 Well, now you know me. 287 00:14:09,317 --> 00:14:12,717 Apparently you don't know me. 288 00:14:15,284 --> 00:14:18,250 I would never fold my dress over a chair. 289 00:14:18,284 --> 00:14:22,250 I'd slip it on a hanger... A wooden one. 290 00:14:22,284 --> 00:14:25,017 I could see killing a tree to make that happen. 291 00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,684 Pay for the drinks 292 00:14:29,717 --> 00:14:31,650 while I pop to the ladies'. 293 00:14:48,950 --> 00:14:51,650 ( heart beating ) 294 00:15:11,450 --> 00:15:13,017 Stan! 295 00:15:13,050 --> 00:15:14,717 Stan! 296 00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:19,684 What the hell are you doing? 297 00:15:27,506 --> 00:15:29,473 Here's some water. 298 00:15:29,506 --> 00:15:31,473 Want something stronger? 299 00:15:31,506 --> 00:15:32,973 I'll get it. 300 00:15:33,006 --> 00:15:34,473 Uh, yeah. 301 00:15:34,506 --> 00:15:35,973 Some vodka. 302 00:15:36,006 --> 00:15:37,673 It's in the freezer. 303 00:15:40,006 --> 00:15:43,506 So, not that I'm the jealous type, 304 00:15:43,540 --> 00:15:45,973 but is this a habit of yours, 305 00:15:46,006 --> 00:15:49,040 following strange women out into the street? 306 00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:52,340 Oh, yeah, a really bad one. 307 00:15:52,373 --> 00:15:55,240 Say, you didn't notice 308 00:15:55,273 --> 00:15:57,340 anything unusual about this woman? 309 00:15:59,173 --> 00:16:01,740 You mean, besides the bad Dye job, 310 00:16:01,773 --> 00:16:04,740 crummy lipstick, and those shoes? 311 00:16:04,773 --> 00:16:07,006 No, nothing. 312 00:16:10,506 --> 00:16:12,640 Are you all right? 313 00:16:12,673 --> 00:16:16,973 My doctor keeps telling me that too many antacid tablets 314 00:16:17,006 --> 00:16:18,973 are bad for me. 315 00:16:19,006 --> 00:16:21,973 I'm beginning to think he's right. 316 00:16:22,006 --> 00:16:23,973 You know how it is. 317 00:16:24,006 --> 00:16:25,973 A guy gets indigestion, 318 00:16:26,006 --> 00:16:29,506 suddenly he thinks he's got a tumor growing inside of him. 319 00:16:29,540 --> 00:16:31,973 It's conspiracy on a molecular level. 320 00:16:32,006 --> 00:16:33,640 You said it, sister. 321 00:16:33,673 --> 00:16:35,506 And it's insidious. 322 00:16:35,540 --> 00:16:39,006 And there's nothing we can do about it. 323 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:43,973 So, this other woman. 324 00:16:44,006 --> 00:16:48,973 Clearly I'm going to have to do something 325 00:16:49,006 --> 00:16:52,006 to make you forget about her. 326 00:16:54,006 --> 00:16:56,006 What other woman? 327 00:16:57,506 --> 00:17:01,473 I think I've changed my mind about that image I had of you. 328 00:17:01,506 --> 00:17:02,906 Oh, yeah? 329 00:17:02,940 --> 00:17:04,573 You'd look even better 330 00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:07,206 with this outfit right here on the floor. 331 00:17:16,506 --> 00:17:21,340 That mouth of yours is a dangerous weapon. 332 00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:23,506 Tell me about it. 333 00:17:26,106 --> 00:17:28,773 So, would you really quit 334 00:17:28,806 --> 00:17:31,406 if they forced you to apologize? 335 00:17:33,506 --> 00:17:36,973 Where did that come from? 336 00:17:37,006 --> 00:17:39,973 I have a confession to make. 337 00:17:40,006 --> 00:17:43,773 I'm not actually an occasional listener. 338 00:17:46,006 --> 00:17:50,473 The ugly truth comes out. 339 00:17:50,506 --> 00:17:52,473 You listen all the time? 340 00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:53,973 No, no, no. 341 00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:55,973 Not when you're on vacation. 342 00:17:56,006 --> 00:17:58,306 I don't do "best of" shows. 343 00:17:58,340 --> 00:18:01,306 I prefer it live and in my face. 344 00:18:01,340 --> 00:18:04,406 I guess I sort of saw it coming. 345 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:06,806 What can I say? 346 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,973 You inspired me. 347 00:18:09,006 --> 00:18:14,473 Like the way you handled that guy who killed himself. 348 00:18:14,506 --> 00:18:15,973 My Buddy Eldon. 349 00:18:16,006 --> 00:18:17,973 Mm-hmm. 350 00:18:18,006 --> 00:18:21,206 I could have called in my support, 351 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:25,306 but actions speak so much louder than words. 352 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:31,606 I thought you guys were clear on the apology issue. 353 00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:33,473 It's not going to happen. 354 00:18:33,506 --> 00:18:35,473 It's going to happen, or else. 355 00:18:35,506 --> 00:18:37,973 You've made a bad situation worse. 356 00:18:38,006 --> 00:18:40,473 Our advertisers are going off their nut. 357 00:18:40,506 --> 00:18:43,506 Not to mention the effect you had on the widow. 358 00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:46,006 If Stan's not willing to help us, 359 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:49,473 we'll have to re-Evaluate our willingness to help Stan. 360 00:18:49,506 --> 00:18:52,306 Jules Mason, our afternoon guy, could do it. 361 00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:53,806 Jules sucks. 362 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,606 Ask the believers 363 00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:59,273 what they'd like Stan to say, and he could read it on the air. 364 00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:01,140 You know, that sounds tempting. 365 00:19:01,173 --> 00:19:03,906 You would let those psychos put words in his mouth? 366 00:19:03,940 --> 00:19:05,873 Would all of you please shut up? 367 00:19:05,906 --> 00:19:07,773 Trudy? 368 00:19:07,806 --> 00:19:09,573 You're brilliant. 369 00:19:09,606 --> 00:19:11,206 If they want a soapbox, 370 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:14,373 we'd be stupid not to give it to them. 371 00:19:14,406 --> 00:19:16,340 I was being sarcastic. 372 00:19:16,373 --> 00:19:18,506 A 50,000 Watt megaphone 373 00:19:18,540 --> 00:19:20,773 So they can tell the world 374 00:19:20,806 --> 00:19:23,040 that we're surrounded by martians. 375 00:19:23,073 --> 00:19:25,540 It'll be like shooting turkeys with a bazooka. 376 00:19:25,573 --> 00:19:29,006 You want to drive another one of these schmucks to suicide? 377 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:32,840 Whoever the guy is, I'll give him an open Mike. 378 00:19:32,873 --> 00:19:34,940 I don't think your Listeners will go for that. 379 00:19:34,973 --> 00:19:36,973 What do you want to bet 380 00:19:37,006 --> 00:19:39,440 that the believers make total fools of themselves? 381 00:19:39,473 --> 00:19:41,506 We'll ask them about Eldon, 382 00:19:41,540 --> 00:19:42,973 what they think happened. 383 00:19:43,006 --> 00:19:45,006 I'm dying to hear their explanation. 384 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,840 That way the radio station's off the hook, 385 00:19:47,873 --> 00:19:49,840 our listeners get a good laugh 386 00:19:49,873 --> 00:19:53,573 and maybe finally we'll have something else to talk about. 387 00:19:55,506 --> 00:19:58,273 I hope you know what you're doing. 388 00:19:58,306 --> 00:20:00,973 What's the matter? You don't trust me anymore. 389 00:20:01,006 --> 00:20:03,473 It's the believers I'm worried about. 390 00:20:03,506 --> 00:20:05,473 ( intercom ) Stan, your guests are here. 391 00:20:05,506 --> 00:20:06,973 Send them in. 392 00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:09,473 I thought they were going to send one guy. 393 00:20:09,506 --> 00:20:11,973 Two people... Twice as much fun. 394 00:20:12,006 --> 00:20:13,973 If I were babe Ruth, 395 00:20:14,006 --> 00:20:16,473 I'd be pointing toward the bleachers. 396 00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:18,140 Mr. Harbinger? Nice to meet you. 397 00:20:18,173 --> 00:20:19,640 I'm Moses Saxon. 398 00:20:19,673 --> 00:20:21,140 Oh, yeah, hi, Moses. 399 00:20:21,173 --> 00:20:24,040 You already know my associate, Ms. Kipling. 400 00:20:24,073 --> 00:20:26,540 How are you, Stan? 401 00:20:29,673 --> 00:20:31,473 Stan, talk to me. 402 00:20:31,506 --> 00:20:32,973 What's going on? 403 00:20:33,006 --> 00:20:34,506 She's a believer. 404 00:20:34,540 --> 00:20:37,840 Time is running out for people on this planet. 405 00:20:37,873 --> 00:20:40,606 No wonder you left me before I woke up. 406 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,306 You two slept together? 407 00:20:42,340 --> 00:20:45,240 Okay, I don't think we should do this. 408 00:20:45,273 --> 00:20:46,740 We have a deal. 409 00:20:46,773 --> 00:20:48,506 We're back from commercial in 30 seconds. 410 00:20:48,540 --> 00:20:50,006 I say we blow it off. 411 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,040 Surely you're not afraid of us. 412 00:20:52,073 --> 00:20:53,873 Don't flatter yourself. 413 00:20:53,906 --> 00:20:55,840 Unless you don't want your audience to know 414 00:20:55,873 --> 00:20:57,873 that you saw an alien several nights ago. 415 00:20:57,906 --> 00:20:59,973 What are you talking about? 416 00:21:00,006 --> 00:21:01,740 We're back in 20. 417 00:21:01,773 --> 00:21:05,473 You know the truth and you refuse to reveal it. 418 00:21:05,506 --> 00:21:06,973 Sit down. 419 00:21:07,006 --> 00:21:09,040 Trudy, set up their mikes. 420 00:21:09,073 --> 00:21:10,640 Okay. 421 00:21:15,006 --> 00:21:17,473 No, uh, editorializing. 422 00:21:17,506 --> 00:21:19,273 That's the deal. 423 00:21:19,306 --> 00:21:20,740 Hey, it's Stan harbinger. 424 00:21:20,773 --> 00:21:22,240 We're back at ya. 425 00:21:22,273 --> 00:21:26,473 Before the break, I told you we had a very special guest. 426 00:21:26,506 --> 00:21:28,073 Well, I lied. 427 00:21:28,106 --> 00:21:29,740 We have two guests. 428 00:21:29,773 --> 00:21:32,006 Our first is Moses Saxon. 429 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:35,606 Moses is a creepy-Looking guy with bad skin 430 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:38,773 who I haven't gotten to know yet 431 00:21:38,806 --> 00:21:41,106 and don't think I will. 432 00:21:41,140 --> 00:21:44,473 His cohort is Darcy... 433 00:21:44,506 --> 00:21:46,873 Darcy, what is your last name? 434 00:21:46,906 --> 00:21:48,473 Kipling. 435 00:21:48,506 --> 00:21:49,973 Kipling. 436 00:21:50,006 --> 00:21:51,906 Well, that's a different story. 437 00:21:51,940 --> 00:21:53,973 Darcy and I are old friends. 438 00:21:54,006 --> 00:21:56,973 In fact, you could say that we both know 439 00:21:57,006 --> 00:22:00,006 what the other looks like drunk and naked. 440 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,173 Don't we, sweetie? 441 00:22:02,206 --> 00:22:03,506 Our agreement was... 442 00:22:03,540 --> 00:22:05,306 Eat me. 443 00:22:05,340 --> 00:22:09,406 Come on, Darcy, tell my listeners how good I was. 444 00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:11,473 You were great. 445 00:22:11,506 --> 00:22:13,473 Put a big smile on my face. 446 00:22:13,506 --> 00:22:15,673 And you put a big smile on mine. 447 00:22:15,706 --> 00:22:18,040 Two big smiles. 448 00:22:18,073 --> 00:22:20,073 I want to say that the believers 449 00:22:20,106 --> 00:22:22,406 have no quarrel with you, Mr. Harbinger. 450 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:25,973 We believe in the truth as much as you do. 451 00:22:26,006 --> 00:22:27,673 Is that right? 452 00:22:27,706 --> 00:22:30,073 ( taped laughter ) 453 00:22:30,106 --> 00:22:32,740 And the truth is, earth is being colonized 454 00:22:32,773 --> 00:22:35,140 by beings from another part of the galaxy. 455 00:22:35,173 --> 00:22:37,973 For the moment, their numbers are too few 456 00:22:38,006 --> 00:22:39,606 to guarantee success, 457 00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:42,973 so while they wait for more of their kind to arrive, 458 00:22:43,006 --> 00:22:46,106 they live covertly Inside people like Eldon Devries. 459 00:22:46,140 --> 00:22:49,540 Do you have an alien slumming inside of you? 460 00:22:49,573 --> 00:22:52,640 It is possible, and I'd have no way of knowing. 461 00:22:52,673 --> 00:22:55,873 Most aliens' hosts are ordinary people who are unaware 462 00:22:55,906 --> 00:22:58,140 of the awful thing living inside of them. 463 00:22:58,173 --> 00:23:02,373 But sometimes that control the aliens have, it breaks down. 464 00:23:02,406 --> 00:23:03,840 We don't know why. 465 00:23:03,873 --> 00:23:05,406 That's what happened to Eldon. 466 00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:06,906 He became aware 467 00:23:06,940 --> 00:23:10,040 and he in turn tried to make us aware through you. 468 00:23:10,073 --> 00:23:14,173 Which episode of Dr. Who did you steal this from? 469 00:23:14,206 --> 00:23:15,873 ( heart beating ) 470 00:23:19,006 --> 00:23:22,440 You saw Eldon Devries die, Mr. Harbinger. 471 00:23:22,473 --> 00:23:25,473 You saw the alien inside of him vacate Eldon's body. 472 00:23:25,506 --> 00:23:27,506 Why won't you tell the truth about it? 473 00:23:27,540 --> 00:23:29,440 Maybe because it didn't happen. 474 00:23:29,473 --> 00:23:30,973 You've been sensitized 475 00:23:31,006 --> 00:23:33,473 to the light frequency in which the aliens live. 476 00:23:33,506 --> 00:23:35,106 In fact, you've seen 477 00:23:35,140 --> 00:23:38,273 at least one other alien since Eldon, haven't you? 478 00:23:38,306 --> 00:23:41,606 You told Ms. Kipling yourself that you have seen aliens, 479 00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:45,006 that you saw the alien that emerged from Eldon Devries. 480 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:46,906 Your listeners deserve to know 481 00:23:46,940 --> 00:23:49,640 what you said the other night. 482 00:23:49,673 --> 00:23:51,173 The ugly truth 483 00:23:51,206 --> 00:23:53,006 about Eldon is, he was right. 484 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:54,506 I didn't say that. 485 00:23:54,540 --> 00:23:57,073 The ugly truth comes out. 486 00:23:57,106 --> 00:24:00,106 It was something... Inside of him. 487 00:24:00,140 --> 00:24:02,073 An alien? Yeah. 488 00:24:02,106 --> 00:24:03,540 It's insidious. 489 00:24:03,573 --> 00:24:05,440 There's nothing we can do about it. 490 00:24:05,473 --> 00:24:07,640 There's nothing we can do about it. 491 00:24:07,673 --> 00:24:09,873 This tape is completely fabricated. 492 00:24:09,906 --> 00:24:12,473 Are you saying that it's not your voice? 493 00:24:12,506 --> 00:24:13,873 Do tell us the truth. 494 00:24:13,906 --> 00:24:17,073 What did you see as Eldon Devries was dying? 495 00:24:17,106 --> 00:24:19,006 Just say it, Mr. Harbinger. 496 00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:20,973 Tell the audience what you saw. 497 00:24:21,006 --> 00:24:22,506 Stan! 498 00:24:25,038 --> 00:24:27,405 What the hell were you thinking? 499 00:24:27,438 --> 00:24:28,905 The guy set me up. 500 00:24:28,938 --> 00:24:31,905 Stan, you attacked the man on the air. 501 00:24:31,938 --> 00:24:34,938 I should have killed the son of a bitch. 502 00:24:34,972 --> 00:24:37,405 You're lucky he's not pressing charges. 503 00:24:37,438 --> 00:24:38,905 Don't be a jellyfish. 504 00:24:38,938 --> 00:24:40,405 You don't get it. 505 00:24:40,438 --> 00:24:42,405 Well, get this... It's over. 506 00:24:42,438 --> 00:24:44,405 You don't work here anymore. 507 00:24:44,438 --> 00:24:46,905 That's exactly what they want you to do. 508 00:24:46,938 --> 00:24:48,405 That's fine, that's fine. 509 00:24:48,438 --> 00:24:49,905 It's over. They win. 510 00:24:49,938 --> 00:24:52,905 Phil, you don't want to do this. 511 00:24:52,938 --> 00:24:54,405 Look, we're fired, okay? 512 00:24:54,438 --> 00:24:56,405 There's a trillion people out there 513 00:24:56,438 --> 00:24:58,405 who want to be in business with us. 514 00:24:58,438 --> 00:25:00,438 Provided you don't kill them first. 515 00:25:00,472 --> 00:25:01,905 I'll go a couple rounds with you. 516 00:25:01,938 --> 00:25:03,438 Go to hell, Jules. 517 00:25:03,472 --> 00:25:05,338 You wish you could do what Stan does. 518 00:25:05,372 --> 00:25:06,938 I'll remember that 519 00:25:06,972 --> 00:25:08,905 when I'm in syndication instead of him. 520 00:25:08,938 --> 00:25:10,938 I got to hand it to you, Darcy. 521 00:25:10,972 --> 00:25:13,405 You're a woman of many talents. 522 00:25:13,438 --> 00:25:15,905 I wasn't supposed to sleep with you. 523 00:25:15,938 --> 00:25:17,938 I did that because I wanted to. 524 00:25:17,972 --> 00:25:20,438 The truth is, Stan, I like you. 525 00:25:20,472 --> 00:25:22,905 Oh, yeah, well, I like you too. 526 00:25:22,938 --> 00:25:24,905 So what was that? 527 00:25:24,938 --> 00:25:27,905 Some kind of bonus? 528 00:25:27,938 --> 00:25:30,905 I didn't catch anything from you, did I? 529 00:25:30,938 --> 00:25:32,905 You have to believe me. 530 00:25:32,938 --> 00:25:35,938 Getting you thrown off the air was not our goal. 531 00:25:35,972 --> 00:25:38,938 All we wanted was for you to tell the damn truth. 532 00:25:38,972 --> 00:25:42,838 The truth? Like that tape you manufactured? 533 00:25:42,872 --> 00:25:44,405 We're at war, Stan. 534 00:25:44,438 --> 00:25:46,038 War changes everything. 535 00:25:46,072 --> 00:25:48,572 And the truth is, you have seen aliens. 536 00:25:48,605 --> 00:25:52,038 The woman in the bar. What was so unusual about her? 537 00:25:52,072 --> 00:25:54,538 There could be a thousand other explanations. 538 00:25:54,572 --> 00:25:58,538 Tell me about the sounds you've been hearing then. 539 00:25:58,572 --> 00:26:01,272 Most people who report sightings also report hearing 540 00:26:01,305 --> 00:26:03,538 the distinctive alien triple heartbeat. 541 00:26:03,572 --> 00:26:05,672 ( tapping ) 542 00:26:05,705 --> 00:26:07,805 Look, 543 00:26:07,838 --> 00:26:09,905 given the right time, place, 544 00:26:09,938 --> 00:26:11,805 circumstances. 545 00:26:11,838 --> 00:26:13,338 Are you going to deny 546 00:26:13,372 --> 00:26:15,205 the headaches you've been having? 547 00:26:15,238 --> 00:26:17,538 They're terrible, and they never go away. 548 00:26:17,572 --> 00:26:19,905 It's the light that's doing it. 549 00:26:19,938 --> 00:26:22,505 Our human brains don't normally perceive 550 00:26:22,538 --> 00:26:24,414 the light frequencies in which the aliens exist. 551 00:26:24,438 --> 00:26:26,172 But if you can see the light... 552 00:26:26,205 --> 00:26:27,972 you can see the truth. 553 00:26:28,005 --> 00:26:32,072 You should see all the evidence we've accumulated. 554 00:26:32,105 --> 00:26:34,072 Stan, let us help you 555 00:26:34,105 --> 00:26:37,038 before the aliens start screwing with you. 556 00:26:37,072 --> 00:26:40,638 They want you to think that you're going crazy. 557 00:26:40,672 --> 00:26:42,205 I'm not going crazy! 558 00:26:52,172 --> 00:26:54,772 How do you feel about that guy killing himself because of you? 559 00:26:54,805 --> 00:26:56,072 I'm Eldon. 560 00:26:56,105 --> 00:26:57,805 Been waiting, waiting for you. 561 00:26:57,838 --> 00:27:00,072 He's trying to get out! 562 00:27:03,105 --> 00:27:05,072 They're inside people. 563 00:27:05,105 --> 00:27:07,205 Lots of people. 564 00:27:07,238 --> 00:27:08,705 But it's not my fault. 565 00:27:08,738 --> 00:27:11,072 Do tell us the truth. 566 00:27:11,105 --> 00:27:13,838 You saw an alien emerge from him, didn't you? 567 00:27:13,872 --> 00:27:16,105 You're saying that it's not our voice? 568 00:27:16,138 --> 00:27:19,405 It's the light that's doing it to you, Stan. 569 00:27:19,438 --> 00:27:21,214 If you can see the light... you can see the truth. 570 00:27:21,238 --> 00:27:23,538 It's the believers I'm worried about. 571 00:27:23,572 --> 00:27:26,105 Surely you're not afraid of us, Mr. Harbinger. 572 00:27:26,138 --> 00:27:28,638 That tape is completely fabricated. 573 00:27:28,672 --> 00:27:35,005 They want you to think that you're going crazy. 574 00:27:35,038 --> 00:27:37,905 I don't know why I didn't see it before, 575 00:27:37,938 --> 00:27:41,405 that's the kind of garbage these bastards are into. 576 00:27:41,438 --> 00:27:44,538 Now, mind you... 577 00:27:44,572 --> 00:27:47,438 This isn't exactly what their alien looks like. 578 00:27:47,472 --> 00:27:49,405 The skin's not right, and the eyes. 579 00:27:49,438 --> 00:27:50,905 Oh, my god! 580 00:27:50,938 --> 00:27:52,405 I'm not making this up. 581 00:27:52,438 --> 00:27:53,905 What about Eldon, okay? 582 00:27:53,938 --> 00:27:55,572 Was he wearing a Mask? 583 00:27:55,605 --> 00:27:59,172 You're starting to sound like one of them. 584 00:27:59,205 --> 00:28:01,405 Stan, I've been talking to some people. 585 00:28:01,438 --> 00:28:03,405 Some of the smaller markets, 586 00:28:03,438 --> 00:28:06,605 real rathole stations with nothing to lose 587 00:28:06,638 --> 00:28:09,438 and they might be willing to give us a shot. 588 00:28:09,472 --> 00:28:11,905 Are you interested? 589 00:28:11,938 --> 00:28:14,872 Trudy, I think you hit on something. 590 00:28:14,905 --> 00:28:18,638 I'm so glad to hear you say that. 591 00:28:18,672 --> 00:28:20,905 It's going to take some time, 592 00:28:20,938 --> 00:28:23,405 but if we can start with the smaller markets 593 00:28:23,438 --> 00:28:25,405 and then platform into the bigger ones... 594 00:28:25,438 --> 00:28:27,238 Eldon was one of them. 595 00:28:27,272 --> 00:28:28,905 He was in on it. 596 00:28:28,938 --> 00:28:32,038 They put on a whole show For my benefit, 597 00:28:32,072 --> 00:28:34,972 rig it with smoke and fire, 598 00:28:35,005 --> 00:28:37,472 yank a body out of the morgue. 599 00:28:37,505 --> 00:28:39,405 Don't you see, Trudy? 600 00:28:39,438 --> 00:28:42,038 Eldon's alive... I bet my life on it. 601 00:28:42,072 --> 00:28:44,738 He's alive, and I'm going to prove it. 602 00:28:46,938 --> 00:28:48,905 ( woman ) As far as I'm concerned, 603 00:28:48,938 --> 00:28:52,405 that Stan harbinger is the scum of the earth. 604 00:28:52,438 --> 00:28:54,905 I don't care that he's out of work. 605 00:28:54,938 --> 00:28:56,905 That's not going to bring Eldon back. 606 00:28:56,938 --> 00:28:58,405 Vindictive? 607 00:28:58,438 --> 00:29:00,372 Morty, don't you understand? 608 00:29:00,405 --> 00:29:03,838 I'm not suing him for me, I'm suing him for Eldon! 609 00:29:03,872 --> 00:29:05,838 My head is splitting. 610 00:29:05,872 --> 00:29:08,405 I've got to go lie down. 611 00:29:08,438 --> 00:29:10,438 ( heart beating ) 612 00:29:48,838 --> 00:29:51,438 ( footsteps approaching ) 613 00:29:54,672 --> 00:29:56,672 ( heart beating ) 614 00:30:17,505 --> 00:30:21,305 I don't know how far away it was. 615 00:30:21,338 --> 00:30:25,738 All I know is that it was, or that it seemed like it was. 616 00:30:25,772 --> 00:30:27,305 That sounds right. 617 00:30:27,338 --> 00:30:28,805 We know they use 618 00:30:28,838 --> 00:30:31,938 that spectrum of light for transport and communication. 619 00:30:31,972 --> 00:30:34,405 I didn't give him any of it, Moses. 620 00:30:34,438 --> 00:30:37,038 No... maybe he found it on-Line. 621 00:30:37,072 --> 00:30:39,905 Moses! I saw something, all right? 622 00:30:39,938 --> 00:30:42,238 Something I cannot explain. 623 00:30:42,272 --> 00:30:45,605 Something that is beyond my realm of comprehension! 624 00:30:45,638 --> 00:30:49,938 Do you think I invited you here because I wanted to hang out? 625 00:30:54,338 --> 00:30:56,205 Is that really necessary? 626 00:30:56,238 --> 00:30:57,938 Yes. 627 00:30:57,972 --> 00:31:01,438 It's the only thing that works for my headache. 628 00:31:03,005 --> 00:31:04,838 ( coughing ) 629 00:31:04,872 --> 00:31:06,405 I believe him. 630 00:31:06,438 --> 00:31:07,938 Thank you. 631 00:31:07,972 --> 00:31:10,372 We'll put a watch on the house. 632 00:31:10,405 --> 00:31:13,872 A watch? People need to know about this. 633 00:31:13,905 --> 00:31:17,305 For the moment I prefer that we not tip them off. 634 00:31:17,338 --> 00:31:20,405 But there is an alien living in that house 635 00:31:20,438 --> 00:31:22,905 having lightwave conversations with... 636 00:31:22,938 --> 00:31:27,038 with some kind of starship. 637 00:31:27,072 --> 00:31:29,605 Will you listen to me... 638 00:31:29,638 --> 00:31:31,905 I got to go. That's it? 639 00:31:31,938 --> 00:31:33,405 Look, I believe you. 640 00:31:33,438 --> 00:31:34,905 I want to help! 641 00:31:34,938 --> 00:31:36,772 We'd prefer that you didn't. 642 00:31:36,805 --> 00:31:38,738 Stan, when you lost your job, 643 00:31:38,772 --> 00:31:40,605 you compromised your usefulness to us. 644 00:31:40,638 --> 00:31:42,405 Right now you're a pariah. 645 00:31:42,438 --> 00:31:43,972 A pariah? 646 00:31:44,005 --> 00:31:46,905 For Everyone's sake, just do as you're told. 647 00:31:46,938 --> 00:31:49,938 One minute you want me to tell the world 648 00:31:49,972 --> 00:31:53,138 we're surrounded by aliens, the next minute 649 00:31:53,172 --> 00:31:55,938 you want me to shut up about it. 650 00:31:57,438 --> 00:32:00,172 There's something else you should know. 651 00:32:00,205 --> 00:32:01,805 You're in a lot of danger. 652 00:32:01,838 --> 00:32:04,305 It's best if you lie low. 653 00:32:04,338 --> 00:32:06,172 If you don't, they'll come for you. 654 00:32:06,205 --> 00:32:07,672 You're a threat. 655 00:32:07,705 --> 00:32:09,272 More of a threat than you are? 656 00:32:09,305 --> 00:32:10,738 We can't see them. 657 00:32:10,772 --> 00:32:12,605 If they did come for us, 658 00:32:12,638 --> 00:32:14,405 they know they'd be proving us right. 659 00:32:14,438 --> 00:32:17,938 Stan, your only hope is to just disappear. 660 00:32:22,772 --> 00:32:24,238 Thanks for coming, Trudy. 661 00:32:24,272 --> 00:32:25,638 I got an idea. 662 00:32:25,672 --> 00:32:28,938 We get as many stations as we can, all right? 663 00:32:28,972 --> 00:32:31,905 I don't care if There are 10 listeners. 664 00:32:31,938 --> 00:32:35,572 For the last couple of days, I've seen things... 665 00:32:35,605 --> 00:32:37,405 Things you wouldn't believe. 666 00:32:37,438 --> 00:32:39,605 I'm not sure I believe them. 667 00:32:39,638 --> 00:32:41,405 But they're real. 668 00:32:41,438 --> 00:32:43,405 They're real as can be. 669 00:32:43,438 --> 00:32:45,405 I got to be out there. 670 00:32:45,438 --> 00:32:47,672 I got to make noise about it. 671 00:32:47,705 --> 00:32:50,672 It's great to see that spark in you again, 672 00:32:50,705 --> 00:32:52,805 but the deal is gone. 673 00:32:52,838 --> 00:32:55,905 No, no, you've got to call them back. 674 00:32:55,938 --> 00:32:57,772 You get their numbers. 675 00:32:57,805 --> 00:32:59,405 I'll call them back. 676 00:32:59,438 --> 00:33:01,538 You need to get some help. 677 00:33:01,572 --> 00:33:03,838 No, no, no, no. 678 00:33:03,872 --> 00:33:06,105 Trudy, Trudy. 679 00:33:06,138 --> 00:33:09,838 I know... I haven't been... 680 00:33:09,872 --> 00:33:11,438 Yeah, you know, um, 681 00:33:11,472 --> 00:33:13,405 I got to tell you that I... 682 00:33:13,438 --> 00:33:15,405 I went back to Phil 683 00:33:15,438 --> 00:33:18,038 and I begged for our jobs back. 684 00:33:18,072 --> 00:33:19,538 He said yes? 685 00:33:19,572 --> 00:33:21,972 He gave me my job back. 686 00:33:22,005 --> 00:33:24,905 I'm producing Jules Mason's new show. 687 00:33:24,938 --> 00:33:27,705 You know, as soon as I feel like 688 00:33:27,738 --> 00:33:30,138 Phil trusts me again, I'll work on him. 689 00:33:30,172 --> 00:33:32,738 He'll bring you back, I know he will. 690 00:33:32,772 --> 00:33:34,238 Get out. 691 00:33:34,272 --> 00:33:35,972 Stan? 692 00:33:36,005 --> 00:33:38,105 No, go on, get out. 693 00:33:44,537 --> 00:33:46,304 So I say to the girl, 694 00:33:46,337 --> 00:33:49,137 "Honey, where did you get the implants?" 695 00:33:49,171 --> 00:33:52,671 I mean, she had breasts 696 00:33:52,704 --> 00:33:54,804 the size of howitzer casings. 697 00:33:54,837 --> 00:33:57,604 Bad boob jobs... Let's talk about it, people. 698 00:33:57,637 --> 00:33:59,104 Hey, Trudy. 699 00:33:59,137 --> 00:34:01,404 What's it like working with a sane person? 700 00:34:01,437 --> 00:34:03,804 For those of you not in the know, 701 00:34:03,837 --> 00:34:06,737 my producer used to work with Stan harbinger. 702 00:34:06,771 --> 00:34:08,804 Wow, only two weeks off the air, 703 00:34:08,837 --> 00:34:11,704 already relegated to the "where are they now?" file. 704 00:34:11,737 --> 00:34:14,637 Stan's doing just fine. He'll be back soon. 705 00:34:14,671 --> 00:34:16,337 But not on these airwaves. 706 00:34:19,837 --> 00:34:22,804 Wow, it looks like we have our first caller. 707 00:34:22,837 --> 00:34:25,837 Joe, do you have a bad boob job story? 708 00:34:25,871 --> 00:34:28,304 ( Stan ) Yeah, I got a story, Jules. 709 00:34:28,337 --> 00:34:30,837 It's not about your boobs, is it, Joe? 710 00:34:30,871 --> 00:34:32,804 This is about something 711 00:34:32,837 --> 00:34:34,737 way more important than that. 712 00:34:34,771 --> 00:34:36,804 More important than boobs? 713 00:34:36,837 --> 00:34:39,737 Well, I guess that would depend on 714 00:34:39,771 --> 00:34:43,471 where the fate of the universe fits into your scheme of things. 715 00:34:43,504 --> 00:34:46,171 Oh, thanks for the call, Joe. 716 00:34:46,204 --> 00:34:47,804 I used to be a cynic, 717 00:34:47,837 --> 00:34:49,437 but then I saw something. 718 00:34:49,471 --> 00:34:51,504 Except when I saw it, 719 00:34:51,537 --> 00:34:55,804 I didn't want to accept that my view of the world 720 00:34:55,837 --> 00:34:58,471 could be so... 721 00:34:58,504 --> 00:35:00,071 wrong. 722 00:35:03,571 --> 00:35:06,571 Is that right, Joe? 723 00:35:06,604 --> 00:35:08,171 What did you see? 724 00:35:08,204 --> 00:35:11,204 I saw the truth. 725 00:35:11,237 --> 00:35:14,304 Aliens are real. 726 00:35:14,337 --> 00:35:15,837 They're here. 727 00:35:15,871 --> 00:35:19,437 They want our planet, and they're going to take it. 728 00:35:19,471 --> 00:35:21,137 Ladies and gentlemen, 729 00:35:21,171 --> 00:35:25,304 it seems we have a very special guest on the phone. 730 00:35:25,337 --> 00:35:27,604 That is you, Stan, isn't it? 731 00:35:27,637 --> 00:35:29,971 The believers were right about Eldon. 732 00:35:30,004 --> 00:35:33,804 When he died, the alien that lived inside him, 733 00:35:33,837 --> 00:35:36,804 he tried to escape. 734 00:35:36,837 --> 00:35:38,804 He died anyway. 735 00:35:38,837 --> 00:35:41,137 And I saw it. 736 00:35:41,171 --> 00:35:42,804 I believe you, Stan. 737 00:35:42,837 --> 00:35:44,804 You're the harbinger of truth. 738 00:35:44,837 --> 00:35:46,337 You wouldn't make up stuff. 739 00:35:46,371 --> 00:35:47,804 Look, you little pissant. 740 00:35:47,837 --> 00:35:49,671 I am not some crackpot. 741 00:35:49,704 --> 00:35:52,971 That's right up there with "I am not a Crook." 742 00:35:53,004 --> 00:35:55,304 Of course you're a crackpot, Stan. 743 00:35:55,337 --> 00:35:58,137 That's why you're there and I'm here. 744 00:35:58,171 --> 00:36:00,137 I'm warning you, Jules. 745 00:36:00,171 --> 00:36:01,637 ( Dial tone ) 746 00:36:01,671 --> 00:36:03,237 Jules. 747 00:36:06,271 --> 00:36:08,304 Stan, I swear to god... 748 00:36:08,337 --> 00:36:10,837 Nice to see you too, Phil. 749 00:36:12,337 --> 00:36:14,304 Wow, size triple-Ds. 750 00:36:14,337 --> 00:36:16,304 Can I get a picture of them? 751 00:36:16,337 --> 00:36:18,304 Stan, don't! 752 00:36:18,337 --> 00:36:21,204 Get a picture of this. 753 00:36:22,837 --> 00:36:24,304 Please. 754 00:36:24,337 --> 00:36:26,771 Please, you've got to let me see Stan. 755 00:36:26,804 --> 00:36:29,304 The alien died because Eldon killed it. 756 00:36:29,337 --> 00:36:31,304 He forced it into the light. 757 00:36:31,337 --> 00:36:33,304 Our frequency is hard on them, 758 00:36:33,337 --> 00:36:35,804 just like their light frequency is hard on us. 759 00:36:35,837 --> 00:36:39,204 But they can survive if they're in a human host. 760 00:36:39,237 --> 00:36:42,404 I mean, look it up for yourself. 761 00:36:42,437 --> 00:36:45,004 ( Jules ) Stan, we're trying to understand, 762 00:36:45,037 --> 00:36:47,504 but you've got to put down the gun. 763 00:36:47,537 --> 00:36:50,304 Stan, we're working to get you back on the air. 764 00:36:50,337 --> 00:36:52,404 But we need more time. 765 00:36:52,437 --> 00:36:53,837 Stop stalling! 766 00:36:53,871 --> 00:36:55,437 Communicate through the computer. 767 00:36:55,471 --> 00:36:58,804 ( Jules ) Are you seeing these aliens because of the booze? 768 00:36:58,837 --> 00:37:01,271 ( Stan ) I'm seeing it because of Eldon. 769 00:37:01,304 --> 00:37:03,337 He showed me the light. 770 00:37:03,371 --> 00:37:05,737 They're saying if you release one of us, 771 00:37:05,771 --> 00:37:07,271 they'll let you broadcast. 772 00:37:07,304 --> 00:37:12,571 I want this Mike hot now, or I'll empty the gun in him. 773 00:37:12,604 --> 00:37:16,171 They're saying they have to speak to you personally. 774 00:37:16,204 --> 00:37:19,404 You want these people to die, is that it? 775 00:37:19,437 --> 00:37:20,971 Oh, my head. 776 00:37:21,004 --> 00:37:25,004 The aliens think This is going to stop me, but they're wrong. 777 00:37:25,037 --> 00:37:27,171 You see, that's the problem. 778 00:37:27,204 --> 00:37:30,304 Eldon didn't know there was an alien inside him 779 00:37:30,337 --> 00:37:31,904 until the very end. 780 00:37:31,937 --> 00:37:34,971 I bet you if I went up to his wife right now 781 00:37:35,004 --> 00:37:39,637 and told her there was an alien inside of her 782 00:37:39,671 --> 00:37:41,804 she'd think I was insane. 783 00:37:41,837 --> 00:37:43,371 You are insane. 784 00:37:43,404 --> 00:37:45,237 I swear to god, Jules. Stan! 785 00:37:45,271 --> 00:37:49,304 Put us on the airwaves or there's going to be bloodshed. 786 00:37:49,337 --> 00:37:51,504 Relax, Stan. You win. 787 00:37:51,537 --> 00:37:53,471 We're putting you back on the air. 788 00:37:53,504 --> 00:37:54,971 Good! Do it! 789 00:37:55,004 --> 00:37:58,004 First I'm going to tell you the deal 790 00:37:58,037 --> 00:38:00,304 and it's not negotiable. 791 00:38:00,337 --> 00:38:03,137 I'm going to clear out this building, 792 00:38:03,171 --> 00:38:06,137 then you're going to release the girl. 793 00:38:06,171 --> 00:38:09,504 When she's outside and safe, you're back on the air. 794 00:38:09,537 --> 00:38:12,504 You have five minutes to say your piece, 795 00:38:12,537 --> 00:38:15,971 then you'll put down the gun and walk out. 796 00:38:16,004 --> 00:38:18,204 You're a man of your word, 797 00:38:18,237 --> 00:38:19,904 am I right? 798 00:38:19,937 --> 00:38:22,004 Then the way I just described it, 799 00:38:22,037 --> 00:38:24,037 that's how it's going to be. 800 00:38:25,971 --> 00:38:28,037 I'll see you. 801 00:38:29,571 --> 00:38:32,871 Get that transmitter cranked up. 802 00:38:32,904 --> 00:38:34,604 Yeah. 803 00:38:40,337 --> 00:38:42,304 Trudy, am I on the air? 804 00:38:42,337 --> 00:38:43,804 Loud and clear, Stan. 805 00:38:43,837 --> 00:38:46,304 You're coming out of every radio here. 806 00:38:46,337 --> 00:38:47,837 Good. 807 00:38:49,837 --> 00:38:52,571 I want to talk about the truth. 808 00:38:52,604 --> 00:38:54,671 You know the old saying 809 00:38:54,704 --> 00:38:59,804 "if you talk to god, it's called prayer. 810 00:38:59,837 --> 00:39:02,137 "If god talks to you, 811 00:39:02,171 --> 00:39:05,671 it's called paranoid schizophrenia." 812 00:39:05,704 --> 00:39:09,637 Well, when you think about What the aliens are doing, 813 00:39:09,671 --> 00:39:12,304 I got to hand it to them. 814 00:39:12,337 --> 00:39:16,604 Their strategy is brilliant... 815 00:39:16,637 --> 00:39:18,737 Divide and conquer. 816 00:39:18,771 --> 00:39:22,371 Make half the world think aliens Do exist. 817 00:39:22,404 --> 00:39:25,904 Make the other half think the first half is crazy. 818 00:39:25,937 --> 00:39:28,504 You keep playing 819 00:39:28,537 --> 00:39:34,204 the ends against the middle while you invade from the rear, 820 00:39:34,237 --> 00:39:39,104 till nobody knows what's what anymore. 821 00:39:39,137 --> 00:39:42,771 And the punchline to this great joke 822 00:39:42,804 --> 00:39:45,104 is that they get people like me 823 00:39:45,137 --> 00:39:46,771 to tell people like you 824 00:39:46,804 --> 00:39:49,304 that people like them don't exist. 825 00:39:49,337 --> 00:39:50,804 ( crackling ) 826 00:39:50,837 --> 00:39:54,804 Let me tell you, I have been wrong. 827 00:39:54,837 --> 00:39:56,804 We are surrounded. 828 00:39:56,837 --> 00:39:58,804 Something's wrong with the signal. 829 00:39:58,837 --> 00:40:01,804 It's like we're kicking out at 10 Watts. 830 00:40:01,837 --> 00:40:03,804 Actually it's 2. 831 00:40:03,837 --> 00:40:05,804 That's what the police wanted. 832 00:40:05,837 --> 00:40:10,304 Frankly, I hate it that we gave in at all. 833 00:40:10,337 --> 00:40:12,804 Son of a bitch! 834 00:40:12,837 --> 00:40:15,437 They could be living inside you. 835 00:40:15,471 --> 00:40:17,137 ( phone dialing ) 836 00:40:17,171 --> 00:40:18,804 Someone you love. 837 00:40:18,837 --> 00:40:20,304 ( phone ringing ) 838 00:40:20,337 --> 00:40:22,104 You hear me, people? 839 00:40:22,137 --> 00:40:24,504 You know what I'm saying is True. 840 00:40:24,537 --> 00:40:26,504 ( heart beating ) 841 00:40:29,671 --> 00:40:31,204 Oh, my god. 842 00:40:34,104 --> 00:40:36,671 What the hell's happening to me? 843 00:40:36,704 --> 00:40:38,737 Oh. 844 00:40:42,337 --> 00:40:43,971 They're in me. 845 00:40:44,004 --> 00:40:46,337 They're in me. 846 00:40:46,371 --> 00:40:47,804 They're in me! 847 00:41:03,604 --> 00:41:05,671 ( heart beating ) 848 00:41:05,704 --> 00:41:07,771 I'm one of them. 849 00:41:10,604 --> 00:41:12,137 Jules, 850 00:41:12,171 --> 00:41:13,704 get out, get out. 851 00:41:13,737 --> 00:41:16,471 They're aliens, Jules. 852 00:41:16,504 --> 00:41:18,071 Run. 853 00:41:18,104 --> 00:41:19,971 Jules, you're surrounded. 854 00:41:20,004 --> 00:41:21,437 Run! 855 00:41:24,837 --> 00:41:27,304 Yeah, we're aliens, all right. 856 00:41:27,337 --> 00:41:28,737 Who isn't? 857 00:41:28,771 --> 00:41:30,837 Must have hurt like hell. 858 00:41:30,871 --> 00:41:32,804 Battle going on between your ears. 859 00:41:32,837 --> 00:41:34,304 Shame. 860 00:41:34,337 --> 00:41:37,237 He was so useful to us. 861 00:41:37,271 --> 00:41:39,671 Won't be easy finding another harbinger of truth. 862 00:41:39,704 --> 00:41:41,171 May I? 863 00:41:41,204 --> 00:41:42,804 No. 864 00:41:42,837 --> 00:41:44,837 Run, Jules. 865 00:41:48,871 --> 00:41:50,904 Damn, he killed the hostage 866 00:41:50,937 --> 00:41:52,737 before we could stop him. 867 00:41:52,771 --> 00:41:55,637 Then when he pointed his gun at us... 868 00:41:55,671 --> 00:41:58,037 you wanted the truth, Stan? 869 00:41:59,104 --> 00:42:00,537 Now you've got it. 870 00:42:35,171 --> 00:42:37,171 It's them. 871 00:42:37,204 --> 00:42:39,537 They're the ones. 872 00:42:39,571 --> 00:42:41,337 They did this to Stan. 873 00:42:41,371 --> 00:42:43,837 Get that nut out of here. 874 00:42:43,871 --> 00:42:46,304 They're not who you think they are. 875 00:42:46,337 --> 00:42:48,837 Listen to me, I'm telling you the truth! 876 00:42:48,871 --> 00:42:52,304 ( control voice ) If we Mock that which we do not understand, 877 00:42:52,337 --> 00:42:54,804 we may learn too late 878 00:42:54,837 --> 00:42:58,771 that the penalty for such Arrogance is annihilation. 879 00:43:16,737 --> 00:43:18,704 Captioning performed by 880 00:43:18,737 --> 00:43:22,237 Western captioning service ltd. Vancouver, B.C. 1998 62067

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