Original subtitles

-(KEYBOARD KEYS CLACKING)

-(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

No, no, no, Listen to me,

Digicom doesn't need the KX-378,

I don't, ,, I don't care

what Farley said,

Farley's wrong about this,

What they need is

a KX-42 system,

Believe me, run this fax,

you will see 'em right,

-Call me back later, Bye,

-(PHONE BEEPS)

Mr, Wayburn, Jerry Miller here,

How are you today?

Listen, I am gonna send

your proposal over

by email this afternoon,

I think you are gonna be

very, very happy with it,

No, Thank you, sir,

Jerry Miller here,

May I ask you who's calling?

Miss Ambrose?

(STUTTERING) Yes, uh, ,,

I am blanking, What company?

Yup, Okay, Wood River is a, ,,

Well, the high school,

Yes, of course,

Wood River High School,

I have a daughter

that goes there,

Candace, right,

She has, ,,

Suspended for three days?

Okay, Well, uh, listen,

Call her mother,

Yes,

She's not?

All right, Well, uh, you know

I would love to

come down there myself

but I am in the middle

of about 25 things

here working,

I am sure that you understand,

(STUTTERING) Yeah, well, ,,

Believe me, I know

it's important,

This is important too,

(SIGHING) All right,

All right, I'll be

right over there,

Okay, thank you,

(HITTING COMPUTER KEY)

Here it goes,

Here I go, (SIGHS)

JERRY: What am I goin'

to do with you?

CANDACE: I don't know, Dad,

What you are goin' to with me?

JERRY: What do I have to do

to make you act like

a responsible human being?

CANDACE: It's not like

I got arrested

and thrown in jail,

JERRY: Isn't getting suspended

from school bad enough?

I don't want to talk

about it anymore!

Listen, doesn't it bother you

that I had to leave work early

drive all the way

out to Wood River

just to pick you up?

CANDACE: No!

JERRY: Well, you know what?

I can still ground you!

CANDACE: Go ahead!

-I'm gonna if you

keep mouthing on me!

-Ground me!

It's one of those days,

I heard you, brother,

It's my body, My body!

And nobody has

the right to tell me

what I can and cannot do

with my own body!

But that doesn't excuse

the fact that you are

too young to smoke

and if you get caught

smoking again at school

they're gonna kick you out,

RUSS: Hey, Dad!

I got a new video game,

Blood Zone 3,

Master versus

the Grim Reaper,

Want to play?

Russ, we are eatin'

dinner here, okay?

Why can't we eat dinner

in front of the TV

like everyone else

in the known universe?

Because when I am home,

I want to eat at the table,

all together, like a family,

Which is once a week

if we are lucky,

You know, you better watch

your attitude, young lady,

Honey, help me out here,

Well, maybe if you were

home more often, Jerry,

All right, I will quit my job,

Heck! Kids don't need

to go to college,

That's not what I am saying, ,,

It's just, ,, I need

more help around here,

You promised to clean up

the basement weeks ago,

The garage door still stilts

and the lawn needs mowing,

Well, Russ is old enough

to mow the lawn now,

What do you say, son?

(METAL CLATTERING)

HOST ON TV:

Hey, you,

That's right, you,

You work hard for a living,

am I right?

I bet there aren't enough

hours in a work day

for you to get done

everything you need to do,

HOST:

Yeah,

MAN:

Could you use a helping

hand around the house?

MAN:

You bet,

HOST:

Then this is

your lucky day,

Get up out of your chair

and follow me,

I want to introduce you

to the Gideon 4000,

-From Gideon Robotics

-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

The Gideon 4000 is the latest

in modern home conveniences,

Programed to help out

in hundreds of different ways

around the house,

So, you mean it'll do

the household chores?

Like the laundry and the dishes?

Will it take out the trash?

HOST:

The Gideon 4000

will do all of that and more,

But this isn't just

a labor saving device,

Thanks to the Gideon 4000's

unique and revolutionary

microprocessor,

he is actually able to hold

a conversation with you

on any number of subjects,

Hello, Gideon, how are you?

I am fine, Mr, Herbert,

how are you?

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

MAN:

Well, that's incredible!

Now something this amazing

has to be really expensive?

That's the beauty of it,

Gideon Robotics is offering

a free 30 day, in home trial,

If you decide to keep

your Gideon 4000

beyond the initial 30 days,

you can do so

by making one, low,

monthly payment,

And best of all, ,,

The Gideon 4000 comes

with a lifetime guarantee,

Wow!

(PHONE DIALING)

Everybody it's here!

Come on, let's go!

BROOKE: What's here?

(WHIRRING)

GIDEON:

Activation sequence complete,

MAN: We're right outside

the Miller residence, Gideon,

JERRY: Come on!

Hurry up, guys,

This is gonna be great!

Okay line up there,

Stay right there!

(TRUCK DOOR CLOSES)

Here we are, Mr, Miller,

You have to sign here,

here and here,

Great, great, great,

great, great,

So, ,, This is free, right?

For the first 30 days, correct,

Great, great, great,

There is your copy

of the contract including

the release forms,

Fine, fine, fine,

You guys are goin' to love this!

Very exciting,

Your excited too,

aren't you?

(METAL CLANKING)

Gideon,

Come meet your new family,

(METAL CLANGING)

CONTROL VOICE:

There is nothing wrong

with your television,

Do not attempt to

adjust the picture,

We are now controlling

the transmission,

We control the horizontal

and the vertical,

We can deluge you

with a thousand channels

or expand one single image

to crystal clarity

and beyond,

We can shape your vision

to anything our imagination

can conceive,

For the next hour,

we will control

all that you see and hear,

You are about to experience

the awe and mystery

which reaches from

the deepest inner mind

to The Outer Limits,

CONTROL VOICE:

In a society

where devotion to one's family

is frequently sacrificed

on the altar of ambition,

-(GIDEON BEEPING)

-Can the things we sacrifice

ever be regained?

Step off the platform, Gideon,

Hey, don't be afraid,

Don't be afraid,

Now he'll do whatever

I tell him to do, right?

-Yes, sir,

-Okay,

Gideon,

My name is Jerry Miller

and I'd like to introduce you

to my wife, Brooke,

my son, and my daughter,

Welcome to the Miller family!

What do you mean,

welcome to the Miller family?

What is this thing?

Honey, it's not a thing,

It's a robot,

A very intelligent robot

who happens to do chores,

You can even have

a conversation with him,

Watch this,

So, uh, Gideon, ,,

How you doin' today?

I am fine, Mr, Miller,

How are you?

Why, I am fine too!

See!

Isn't that great?

Wait a minute,

Is there an owner's manual

or something?

-No,

-Well, uh,

what if I need to fix it?

There are no user

serviceable parts,

Enjoy,

No! Stop!

-Honey, honey, honey, honey, ,,

-Stop!

(GASPING) Jerry,

I can't believe you did this,

A robot?

(ENGINE STARTING)

Why didn't you talk to me

about this?

Because I wanted

to surprise you!

I don't know, Dad,

It's pretty creepy,

Misty Owens has a Gideon 4000,

She says it's nothing but

a big bore!

How much of

our money did you spend

on this thing?

Honey, it's not a thing, okay?

I didn't spend any of our money,

-Because it's 30 days,

free, no obligation,

-(SIGHS)

Russ is right, He's creepy,

Listen, This is the way

for the future, kids,

One day everybody's

gonna have one!

Honey, I got him for you,

To help you out

around the house

when I'm not there,

Ah, no way,

You, ,, You keep that thing

away from me,

I don't care,

how intelligent it is,

Come on, kids,

Wait! Don't you want to see

what he does?

Forget it,

DENNIS: Hey, Jerry!

(PANTING)

-What's this,

amigo?

-It's a Gideon 4000,

You're kidding me!

That's pretty damn cool,

Yeah,

Yeah, it is pretty damn cool,

isn't it?

Pretty cool!

Honey, no one in this family

will ever have

to wash a dish again,

Come here, come here,

I want you to see what he does,

Now I asked him

to load the dishwasher

and he's doing a perfect job,

I am surprised he didn't come

with a dishwasher built in,

Or didn't we get

the deluxe model?

Honey, give him a chance,

please,

Uh, Jerry,

how do we know if this, ,,

machine is safe?

Of course it's safe,

It does whatever

I tell him to do,

-Gideon stop loading

the dishwasher,

-(ELECTRICAL BEEPING)

JERRY: See!

Come on, get him

to start loading to the end,

Just ask him,

Gideon, resume loading

the dishwasher,

(ELECTRICAL BEEPING)

Now isn't that cool? Huh?

Listen, I got to run down

the office for a few hours,

There's no way

you are going to the office,

I've got to help Farney

with the Digicom account,

-But it's Saturday!

-I know! But this is great,

'Cause you will have

a chance to show Gideon

around the house,

I mean, he does laundry

and vacuuming,

He probably even does windows,

Jerry, we have plans

with Dennis and Holly tonight,

I know, that's why

I'm gonna be back here

at 4:00 sharp,

May be 5:00,

5:00 at the latest,

-(SIGHING)

-(CLATTERING)

(DOOR CLOSES)

Uh, ,,

Go,

Go and get out of here,

Where would you like me to go?

Anywhere, but here,

(ELECTRICAL BEEPING)

(SIGHING)

(GLASS CLATTERING)

(MEN YELLING ON TV)

RUSS: Got you now, sucker!

Yeah!

Yeah, yeah, yeah! Bring it!

Get him! Get him!

Yeah! Kick some ass!

Come on, come on!

Why do you play this game?

Where'd you come from?

Yeah!

No!

MALE AUTOMATED VOICE:

Game over,

(LAUGHING)

No!

No! No, no, no, I had him!

And you ruined it,

See, look, I am dead meat,

Ah, you stupid jerk,

It's a beautiful afternoon,

Why don't you go outside

and play with your friends?

May be I don't want

to go outside

and play with my friends,

May be I want stay inside

and kick some

serious manster butt,

Either way, ,, What, ,,

What business

is it of yours?

Go on,

Get out of here,

Don't ever sneak up

on me again,

(SIGHS)

-(MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

-CANDACE: Tonight's the night,

Yeah, He's coming over tonight

after my parents go out,

I know! I know!

It's going to be so romantic,

I'm gonna wear my sexy,

black halter top

and my leather skirt,

Yeah, ,,

Yeah, you know, the short one,

Your first time should be

special, right?

What you are doing?

Spying on me?

Get out of here!

Beat it, you freak!

Go away!

No, it wasn't Russ,

It was a stupid robot

my dad got,

Yeah, it's just like Misty's,

it's crazy,

I think my dad's brain

has gone on

a permanent vacation,

(SNIFFLES)

(SIGHS)

Your still here, ?

Russ, Candace!

I am off to the Minimart,

I will be right back,

You should wait an hour

before you drive,

What did you say?

You have consumed

an alcoholic beverage,

The level of alcohol

in your blood stream

may be over the legal limit,

(HUFFS) How dare you?

And even if I had consumed

an alcoholic beverage,

which I have not,

I think I am old enough

to know what my limit is,

And I will thank you

to keep your opinions

to yourself,

(ENGINE STARTING)

Whoa!

(ENGINE REVVING)

What's wrong?

(ENGINE STOPS)

See, the point is you never

want to give a client

too much to think about,

But you don't want

to give too little

to think about either

'cause then they'll think

you are an idiot,

-You know what I mean?

-(PHONE RINGING)

-Jerry Miller,

-BROOKE:

I want this thing

out of my house, now!

What's wrong, honey?

Get rid of this! Send it back

to wherever it came from!

All right, I will be home

right away,

(EXHALES)

Look, I don't know who

or what you think you are, ,,

You did consume

an alcoholic beverage,

I did not!

I, ,, I don't know how

you can accuse me

of such a thing!

(SIGHS)

(CLATTERING)

How long have you

had a drinking problem?

That's none of your business,

Does Mr, Miller know?

Yes,

I mean, no,

Are you going to tell him?

JERRY: Look, honey,

where are you?

In here,

What happened, honey?

Are you okay?

I, ,, I am fine,

(CHUCKLING) I am fine,

Well on the phone

it sounded like

Gideon had attacked you,

No, no, It, ,,

It didn't attack me,

It's just that, ,,

I am having trouble getting

used to it being here,

Well, sounded

a lot worse than that,

Oh, well, I was upset

but I'm better now,

You want me to talk to him

and tell him to stay

the hell out of your way?

No! Ah, You, ,, There, ,,

There's really

nothing to discuss,

Okay,

All right, honey,

I was worried,

(SIGHS)

You should see him

out there mowing the yard,

He's so cute,

It's not a "he," Jerry,

It's an "it,"

(CHUCKLING)

(DOOR BELL RINGS)

-You see!

-(BOTH LAUGHING)

-What'd I tell you!

-Oh, my gosh!

Look at him!

Guys, I thought

we're gonna meet upfront,

Yeah, I just wanted Holly to

see your latest acquisition,

This is so amazing!

-Can I touch him?

-Go ahead,

he won't bite,

Come on, Brooke, let's go!

BROOKE: I'll be right down,

-Booh!

-(SCREAMING)

Dennis, you are so mean!

Can we please,

try and act like

grown-ups here?

This is a very sophisticated

piece of machinery,

Holly, meet Gideon,

-Hello, Gideon,

-Hello, Holly,

(GIGGLES)

Gideon mowed my yard today,

You're kidding, That's great!

You think you can

get him to mow

my yard tomorrow?

HOLLY: Oh!

You can mow your own yard,

Honey, really, I think

we ought to look into

getting one of these,

May be you can borrow ours,

She's kidding, Candace, Russ!

BROOKE: (SIGHING) Honey,

are you sure

the kids are all right alone?

Candace has been babysitting

Russ for almost a year now,

No, I meant with Gideon,

Gideon won't bother 'em,

And I am sure he's programed

to never, ever hurt

another human being,

Right, Gideon?

Guys, we are off,

Okay, I am parked out front,

Okay, we got our cell phone,

but I left the number

for the restaurant

in the kitchen,

Okay?

Behave! All right?

Don't mess around with Gideon,

No stupid robot tricks,

He's not a toy,

-Okay, I love you,

-JERRY: Me too,

I will make you a deal,

I'll stay out of your way,

You stay out of mine,

I want to be left alone

and I mean alone,

Hey, as long as

I get the TV room,

I got some friends coming over,

What are we gonna do

about metal head?

-CANDACE: All right,

here we are,

-(SWITCH CLICKS)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Watch your step,

That's it,

Okay,

Now, Gideon,

I want you to clean

all of this up,

Organize it

and make it nice and clean,

Where would you

like me to begin?

Oh, it doesn't matter

where you start, Just, ,,

Clean it up and, ,,

You know sweep the floor and, ,,

Dust the cobwebs

and if there's laundry

do that too,

Okay?

Yes, Candace,

Good boy,

(WHISPERING)

That should

take him all night,

(DOOR CLOSES)

(DOORBELL RINGING)

-Hey, what's going on?

-BOY: Hey, man!

What's up?

-(DOOR CLOSES)

-Did you get it?

Did I get it?

-Your parents still home?

-No, no, they left!

Did you get it or not?

ALL: All right!

-Let's go!

-RUSS: Yeah!

(KNOCKING)

-(WHISPERING) Hi,

-Hi,

Why did I have to come

through the window?

I thought you said

your parents were going

to be gone,

Oh, I didn't want

my brother to see you,

Tonight's our night,

And I wanted to make sure

that we'd be left alone,

Where is your brother?

Downstairs, Probably playing

video games with

his pre-pubescent friends,

Oh, yeah?

What video games

has he got?

(CHUCKLES)

The last thing that

you should be thinking about

right now, ,,

-is video games,

-(DOOR LATCH CLICKS)

Did you bring it?

(MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

♪ Oh, ,,

♪ I've only ever wanted

just to be with you

♪ And I know that

you feel the same way too

♪ The first times

the best time

♪ Can't you see? ♪

(MEN GRUNTING ON TV)

-BOY: Yeah!

-(ALL GRUNTING)

(YELLING)

(THUDDING)

RUSS: Hey, guys, be careful!

Yeah!

(YELLING)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ Makin' love to you

(GIGGLING) Easy,

♪ Oh, ,,

(BOYS GRUNTING)

Look at the blood

comin' out of his neck!

ALL: Yeah! Yeah!

(EXCLAIMING)

RUSS: Guys,

put those down!

Guys, stop it!

-(GLASS SHATTERING)

-Guys!

I mean it, Stop!

(LAUGHING BOISTEROUSLY)

(TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)

What is that?

BOY: What is it?

RUSS: It's okay,

-It's only a game,

-(TV SWITCHES OFF)

It's time for your friends

to leave, Russ,

Now!

(DOOR CLOSES)

Clay, stop!

Clay, Stop!

What's wrong, baby?

-This is what you wanted,

-No!

(MUFFLED GROANING) No!

(STRAINING) Clay!

Stop it!

Clay, get off from me!

(GROANING)

CLAY: Please, no!

Don't hurt me,

I swear, I didn't do anything,

You could ask, ,,

Please, I'm begging you,

Please, No! Please!

I am, ,,

Good night,

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

(DOOR LOCK CLICKS)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Wow!

Honey, it's nice

and quiet in here,

No, it's too quiet,

I am going to check on the kids,

They're in their beds, Asleep,

They never go to bed

this early on

a Saturday night,

They were tired,

It's okay, honey,

(FOOTSTEPS RECEDING)

So, Gideon, ,,

What'd you do tonight?

(SWITCH CLICKS)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Holy mother of, ,,

This is unbelievable!

-Did you clean all this up?

-Yes,

All by yourself?

It was a mess,

Well, admittedly there were

a few things laying around,

It was in a mess!

And I cleaned it up,

CANDACE: Oh, come on, Gideon,

You're not gonna maybe

look it up, are you?

-Would you like, a hint?

-No!

"Shall I compare thee

to a summer's day?"

CANDACE: What line is it?

What is it from?

GIDEON:

It's from a sonnet,

By William Shakespeare,

Number 18,

Thank you very much, That's it,

That's the last question,

Hi, Mom,

Gideon was just helping me

with my homework,

Sounds like he was

giving you the answers,

May be you should say,

"Thank you, Gideon,"

Thank you, Gideon,

-Is Russ, home?

-No,

Oh, he's supposed to check-in

after school, He never does,

If Russ doesn't obey you,

his father

should discipline him,

Easier said than done,

Doesn't Mr, Miller

discipline him?

He tries, but, ,,

You know, ,, He, ,,

He works like, ,,

Seems like

he's always working late,

Would you like me

to cook dinner?

Well, ,, (CHUCKLES)

Why not?

This I've got to see!

Huh,

(GLASS CLATTERS)

It's 5:00 clock,

I'm having a glass of wine,

Don't worry

I am not driving anywhere,

(SIGHING) You want to cook?

Kitchen's all yours,

Mmm, this chicken is so good,

RUSS: Yeah, really good,

-Gideon made it,

-No way!

Yes, he cooked the whole meal,

Every single dish,

It's excellent, Gideon,

Thank you,

Aren't you having a drink

or some wine?

No, Why?

Well, You always have a drink,

One before dinner,

-One with dinner,

-One after dinner,

I had one glass of

wine before dinner,

That was all,

Cool,

So, Russ, ,,

Baseball trials start

pretty soon, don't they?

I am not goin' out,

-Why not?

-Because I stink,

I was hoping dad would

teach me how to pitch,

Baseball and pitching

are governed by

the laws of Physics,

For example,

a ball thrown at the plate

at a velocity

of 75 miles per hour

will be deflected or curved

approximately one foot,

Gideon, do think

you can teach Russ

how to pitch?

I could show him the basics

and help him practice,

What do you think, Russ?

May be you should take

Gideon up on his offer,

I don't know,

You could give it a try,

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

(SCREAMS) Gideon!

You scared the life out of me,

I'll clean up the mess,

(GLASS CLINKING)

Brooke, honey, where are you?

BROOKE: Kitchen,

Good morning, Something wrong?

I can't find my new polo shirt,

Oh, it should be in your closet,

-You want me to go

find it for you?

-No, no, That's fine,

Boy! This looks great!

Did Gideon cook breakfast?

Yeah! Turns out

he is a terrific cook,

Who knew?

Yeah, Who knew? Oh, ,,

You know,

I have been thinking, ,,

All of us should go

on a picnic this afternoon,

Out at Wint and Woods,

We used to have so much fun

on those picnics,

-What do you think, Jerry?

-I think it's a great idea,

Just us the family,

Sounds good,

-Oh! This afternoon?

-Mmm-hmm,

Oh, boy, I got to play golf

with the new vice president,

Oh!

Well, maybe another time then,

Yeah, for sure,

we get to do it

another time soon,

-Hey!-Hi!

Where you going?

I thought you'd left,

It turns out none of us

had any plans for today,

So, we decided

to go ahead

and go on that picnic,

You goin' on a picnic

without me?

Oh, we will go again

next Sunday,

What's with all

the barbeque stuff?

(CHUCKLING) Jerry!

What's a picnic,

without a barbeque?

(CHUCKLING)

Exactly! I always say that,

But you hate barbequing,

Oh, I am not going

to be barbequing,

I am gonna leave that to Gideon,

Gideon is goin' on

the picnic with you?

-(DOOR OPENS)

-Jerry!

He is a fantastic cook!

Mmm,

Have a good game,

(DOOR OPENS)

-(DOOR CLOSES)

-It's not a "he,"

It's an "it,"

(ENGINE STARTING)

Hey, everybody! I'm home!

How'd the picnic go?

-Where are you guys?

-BROOKE: We are in here,

Hey, what are you doing

to my chair?

Come on, get up,

Get out of there,

-Dad, chill,

-It's my chair!

BROOKE: Jerry, I asked

Gideon to sit there,

It bothers me

how he's standing around

all the time,

It's a robot, Brooke, Remember?

It doesn't get tired,

So it doesn't have

to sit down,

(SIGHS DEEPLY)

(PHONE RINGING)

(RINGING CONTINUES)

(SIGHS)

-(DOOR OPENS)

-Hi, honey, I'm home!

Oh, Your home early,

What do you think?

-I like it,

-Gideon helped me pick it up,

(CHUCKLES)

Hi, Dad, what are you

doing home?

Well, I decided

to come home early,

for a change,

You and I haven't hung out

for quite a while,

So I thought maybe

we could do something,

Oh, I can't,

I've got too much homework

and I have to practice

my singing exercises,

I joined the school choir,

That's great!

Gideon thinks that

I have a terrific voice,

Of course she does,

What'd you say?

I said, of course

you got a terrific voice,

Where's Russ?

He's in the backyard,

(INAUDIBLE)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(WHISPERING) Gideon!

Gideon!

Where are you?

(ELECTRICAL BEEPING)

I know what you are up to,

Don't think I don't,

If you think

I am gonna standby here

and let it happen,

you better think again,

(GASPING) Now you come

into my home,

This is my home!

And you trying to take over!

So tomorrow

I'm gonna call for company

and pick you up,

What do you think about that?

Go ahead, Call,

DENNIS: Hey, Jerry!

Got one of my own!

No! No!

Get rid of it, right now!

It will ruin your life,

Believe me,

(DIALING)

(SIGHING)

(LINE BUSY)

(DIALING)

(LINE BUSY)

(DIALING)

(LINE BUSY)

(MUMBLING)

GIDEON 2: (ON INTERCOM)

Mr, Miller,

what a pleasant surprise!

Please take the elevator

to the second floor

and proceed to

office number 206,

Ah, 206?

(INTERCOM SWITCHING ON)

GIDEON 2:

206,

(INTERCOM SWITCHING OFF)

GIDEON 2:

Mr, Miller,

come on in,

Take a seat,

Make yourself at home,

Thank you,

Where is everybody?

I didn't see

a soul comin' up here,

GIDEON 2:

What can I do for you?

Well, actually I ordered

one of your Gideon 4000's

with your no risk, at home,

30 day, free guarantee,

you know,

And, uh, I, ,,

I don't want him anymore,

So I wanted if you would

send someone out

to my house to pick it up,

GIDEON 2:

I am afraid

I can't do that,

Why not?

-Whoa! You are

a Gideon 4000,

-Yes, I am,

All right, Well, listen,

I am not going to talk

to a stinking robot,

(STUTTERING) I want a, ,,

I want a real person

down here,

The Gideon 4000 line

is completely automated

in both the production

and marketing sectors,

There are no real people

in this building,

Then I want to speak

to the president

of the company,

There is no president,

I have full authority

to help you

with any problems

or complaints

you might have

with your Gideon 4000,

I don't have any problems

or complaints,

I just want the damn thing

out of my house!

Have you read your contract?

Why? Yes, I have!

If at the end of 30 days

you wish to return

your Gideon 4000

with no further obligations,

both you and your wife

must sign the return form,

This crazy, I didn't, ,,

I didn't agree to that,

You signed the contract,

Listen to me,

The Gideon 4000 I have, ,,

(STAMMERING) It's, ,,

It's ruining my whole routine!

It's unsettling my life

and I want it out of my life!

And I want it out

of my life right now!

You hear me?

Does the rest of your family

feel the same way?

Does your wife feel

the same way?

Ooh, what's this?

Stuffed pork chops,

roast potatoes

and steamed asparagus,

-Smells good,

-Yeah, it sure does,

Say Gideon, ,,

Would you like sitting

in the kitchen

while we eat dinner

and I'll call when

we are ready for you,

You know, uh,

I have been doing

some thinking and, ,,

I owe you guys an apology,

What for, honey?

Well, for too long

I've been working too much,

and I haven't been home enough

and I think my absence

has been a detriment

to this family,

We haven't been doing badly,

In fact lately we've been

doing pretty well,

Yeah, I want you to know

I am gonna be spending

less time in the office

and more time home

with you guys,

(JERRY CHUCKLES)

And, ,, And since I am going

to be around more,

I was thinking that we

probably don't need Gideon

past the initial 30 days,

(CUTLERY CLATTERS)

You want to get rid of Gideon?

Why?

Well, didn't you hear

what I said?

I am gonna be around more,

So we don't need Gideon,

And then we could save

the money we are going

to spend on him

and take a family vacation,

But I like Gideon,

Aren't you too, Dad?

I think he's great,

Gideon's become

a part of this family,

How can Gideon be

a part of this family, honey?

It's a machine!

It's like the refrigerator

or the lawn mower,

A refrigerator

can't help Candace

with her homework,

A lawn mower isn't teaching

Russ to pitch,

What's Gideon been helping

you with lately?

(SIGHS) I don't believe this!

Are you jealous of Gideon?

That robot is destroying

our family!

It is not! If anything,

Gideon has brought

peace to this family,

We've never been happier!

Haven't you noticed that

we are not at each other's

throats anymore?

I don't care!

I have made up my mind,

Gideon's out!

End of discussion! That's it!

(KNOCKING TABLE)

That is not it, Jerry!

This is a family matter,

We will discuss this

as a family,

End of discussion!

Now eat your dinner,

-I'm not hungry,

-Me neither,

Hey, where are you goin'?

Come back here

and finish your dinner,

I will never sign that form

to have Gideon returned,

Gideon told you about that?

Have you ever thought that

you might be the disrupting

force in this family?

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

Listen, guys,

Please come back in here,

JERRY: Gideon, could you

please, come down here

and take this box of junk

and the ironing board

out to the trash?

(DOOR OPENS)

(STAIRS CREAKING)

Thank you not, Gideon!

(SMACKING METAL)

(CRACKLING)

(CLATTERING)

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

I have to go, I've got a choir,

What is the atomic number

for magnesium?

CANDACE: Twelve,

And it's symbol is Mg,

I see you are ready

for your Chemistry test,

Only because of you, Gideon,

Thank you, Bye, guys,

-Bye,

-(CHUCKLING)

We knew you will come around,

-(CAR HORN HONKING)

-Oh!

There's my car pool,

Ah, the baseball coach, ,,

He's holding

a pitching clinic

after school,

-I was thinkin' of going,

-Good for you!

-And if you need

a ride later, you call me,

-RUSS: All right,

-Best of luck, Russell,

-Thanks,

Way to go, Dad,

I think it's awesome,

BROOKE: Breakfast

was delicious, Gideon,

Thank you!

Honey,

Gideon told us about

your decision

to let him stay,

We all think it's wonderful!

Thank you!

I have to run some errands,

Goodbye, Gideon,

And I will see you

back here around noon,

You can show me

where to plant

those rose bushes,

(CHUCKLES)

(DOOR CLOSES)

I destroyed you,

I smashed you into pieces

and threw you in a dumpster,

How can you be still here?

I'm here because

it's necessary

for me to be here,

Which is more than

I can say for you,

You had your chance,

You have been a father

for 15 years now,

But you haven't been

a good father,

You haven't even been

a good husband,

Too many late nights

at the office,

Too many golf games

on the weekends,

-You stay away from me,

-You were never here

when your family needed you,

But now, your family has me,

(GLASS SHATTERING)

This is what you wanted,

isn't it?

Someone to help out

around the house,

Someone to help with the family,

Fathers have been failing

their families all over

North America,

As a result society

has become

more dysfunctional,

More chaotic,

Something had to be done,

I am that something,

I represent control,

Discipline, Respect,

Values you forfeited

or never had,

You'll never attack

me again, Jerry,

Because if you do, ,,

If you try to dispose of me

in any way, ,,

I will dispose of you!

Permanently,

I'll take care of everything,

Mr, Wayburn,

Well, I'd be happy

to send it over

this afternoon,

All right, well,

I have got to go,

My wife's on the other line,

-Goodbye,

-(PHONE BEEPS)

Hi, Brooke,

I'm fine,

Of course I'll be home

for dinner,

See you later,

(DOOR CLOSES)

JERRY: I'm home!

(CHAIR CLATTERS)

You're not wearing a tie,

I'm sorry,

It won't happen again,

Let's bow our heads

and give thanks,

Oh, Lord, we thank you

for the food

we are about to receive,

We thank you for

the food

we are about to receive,

And for the blessings

you have bestowed upon us,

Help us to live each day

in your image,

Each day in your image,

And guide us on the path

of righteousness,

Amen,

CONTROL VOICE:

Before allowing a machine

to take over

a part of your life,

make sure that you know

the true price