All language subtitles for I.Love.Lucy.S03E23.Lucy.is.Envious.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track4_[eng]

Here.

Thanks.

Oh, the opera opened last night.

Will you look at that.

The lobby looks like
a field of waving mink.

Gee, and all the parties
they went to afterward--

21 and El Morocco...

Gosh, I bet they had a good time.

- Lucy...
- Huh?

Why do you envy those people?

I don't envy them.

I just wish I could dress like them
and live the way they do, that's all.

Honey, the only way to be real happy

is to be satisfied with what you got.

Oh? What have I got?

Me.

My cup runneth over.

Well!

Thank you.

- Oh, no.
- What happened?

"Cynthia Harcourt
just got back from Europe

and is in town on a charity drive."

So? What's that to you?

- Oh, I went to school with her.
- Oh.

She had nothing but money,
and she married money.

Seemed like such a waste to me.

Money always marries money.

Yeah. Why doesn't money ever marry broke?

Who knows?

Well, if she's on a charity drive,

I just won't answer the phone
for a few days.

She always calls up the girls
she went to school with

and asks for contributions, you know.

So let her call.

She knows you're not wealthy.

Well, I don't know.

Cynthia, somehow,
has gotten the impression

that you lead a band just for a hobby.

And where, pray say,
did she get this impression?

From the same person that told her

that you really own
a big sugar plantation in Cuba.

Who is that?

Someone we all know and love

who ought to keep her big mouth shut.

Now you see what I mean?

You were envious of somebody.

You tried to be something that you weren't

and now you're in trouble.

You're right, Ricky.

I'm never gonna be envious
of anyone again.

Good.

What if I'm not sitting
in the lap of luxury?

I'm happy where I am--
on the bony knees of nothing.

I like bony knees.

- Hello.
- Lucy, darling, this is Cynthia,

Cynthia Harcourt.

Cynthia, dear.

Oh, darling, it's so nice
to speak to you again.

I can't believe I'm here.

You know, only last night I was in Paris.

Oh?

Oh, Paris!

Give me Paris in the springtime.

Isn't that the way you feel, dear?

Oh, oui, oui.

Oh! Vous parlez francais?

Huh?

[Cynthia] Parlez-vous francais?

How's that again?

Do you speak French?

Oh, yes. Fluently.

Oh, Lucy, you're so droll.

Well, tell me, dear.

You know, we're staying in a hotel now,

but Cyrus is thinking
of moving to New York

and I was wondering--

How's the servant problem?

- The servant problem?
- Yes.

Oh, frightful, darling.

I just don't know what to do about it.

Well, do you think that I could
get by with a staff of ten?

Oh, yes, I think you can get by
with a staff of ten.

Well, how many do you have?

Me? Oh, I have, uh ...

Well, do you have more than ten?

Well, uh... frankly, Cynthia.

I think that you should know

we live a very simple life.

We have a tiny little place.

We're just normal, average people.

[Cynthia] Oh.

- I'm going over to see Fred.
- Okay, dear.

Well, how many do you have?

Eight.

Oh. My, you must have a tiny place.

Well, uh, dear, this nasty,
old money business--

You know I really hate it,

but I'm chairman
of the charity drive this year,

and I was wondering how much
I could count on you for?

Well, Cynthia, I've given

to so many charitable things this year,

I've practically nothing left.

Oh, Lucy, darling, I'd hate
to print your name in the book

and put a zero after it.

Yes. I'm sure you would, dear.

Well, surely you can scrape
a few dollars together,

like your classmates did.

Anita gave seven, Adelle gave six

and Hazel gave eight.

Oh, I had no idea

that such a sniggly little bit
would count.

Oh, certainly, darling, everything counts.

Oh, well, put me down for five.

Wonderful! Should I pop over
and pick it up?

Uh, no. No.

I'm going shopping today.

I'd be glad to drop it by.

Oh, fine. Wonderful.
I'll see you then, dear.

All right. Where are you staying, Cynthia?

Cynthia?

Oh, darn it.

What's the matter?

Oh... that was an old schoolmate of mine,
Cynthia Harcourt, and she's here

- on a charit...
- The Cynthia Harcourt?

- Yeah.
- Did you go to school with her?

Yeah, and she's in town
on a charity drive.

I promised to drop a check by,
I don't know where she's staying.

Well, it told all about it
in the society column this morning.

- I was reading it.
- That's right. I forgot.

Yeah. She has a penthouse at the Waldorf.

Oh, gee. I've always wanted to see

what a penthouse looked like.

- Want to go with me?
- Can I?

- Sure.
- Oh, boy, yes.

Imagine me in high society.

Hi.

Oh, Frederic, darling,

If you're looking for me this afternoon,
I shan't be home.

I'll be at the penthouse at the Waldorf.

Well, she finally flipped.

She did not.

She's going with me
to see an old schoolmate

who put the bite on me
for a charity drive.

- Lucy?
- Yeah?

How much did she bit you for?

Five measly dollars.

- I'm taking her a check.
- Why don't you mail it to her?

Oh, because I want to see her penthouse.
I bet it's just fabulous.

There you go again--

Wanting something that you haven't got.

I do not. I just want to see

what it is I haven't got
that I don't want.

Okay, old man,
we're going to go for a nice walk.

It's a beautiful day.

Say goodbye to Mommy.

Bye-bye, darling.

Give me a kiss.

You be a good boy, now.

Now, honey, remember:

no hot dogs, no peanuts, no popcorn.

All right, how about a glass of beer?

Oh!

Come on, now,
you keep him bundled up, too.

- I think it might rain today, dear.
- Yes, ma'am.

Well, now, be careful with him.

- I will.
- Oh, hi, honey. You going out?

Yeah. He's going for a walk.

Come on, Fred, you want to walk
with us, man?

Okay. Come on, champ.
Come on, we'll take you.

Now, honey, keep him bundled up.

All right, Mother, all right. Goodbye.

Bye-bye, darling.

Come on. Are you ready?

Yeah, just about.
I got the check all made out here.

I got to take one last look
and see if I'm all right.

I put this flower on my hat.
Do you think it's okay?

[Ethel] Oh, I think you look great.

All right.

You didn't say anything about how I look.

Lucy, darling!

Oh! Cynthia!

Oh, Cynthia, uh ...

Uh, Ethel, this is Cynthia Harcourt.

This is Ethel Mertz.

Oh. Charmed.

Ooh, likewise.

Well, you know, darling, I realized
after I spoke with you on the phone

that I hadn't told you
where we were staying.

So I thought I'd just pop over myself.

Oh, well, I'm awfully glad
you did, Cynthia.

You'll have to forgive
the way the place looks.

I... Well, I-I just flew
into a nasty rage this morning

and fired all the servants.

Didn't I, Ethel.

All of 'em.

You know, dear, I've been thinking.

Really, maybe I shouldn't have phoned you

to ask you for money.

I mean, you know,

with the tiny, little place you have here

and being a bandleader's wife and all,

maybe you can't afford it.

Oh, nonsense, Cynthia.

This dump is just a place
for Ricky to hang his clothes.

We spend most of our time in the country.

Oh, this is your town house?

Well, it's really our town closet.

Yes. We have a beautiful summer place--

A big mansion, stables, and swimming pool.

And tennis courts.

Oh, delightful.
Sounds like our summer place.

Where's yours?

Um... where's yours?

- Bucks County.
- Oh, ours is in Westchester.

Oh, wonderful.
We must come and visit you soon.

Oh, well, that would be lovely, Cynthia,

except that we don't expect
to spend much time there this season.

You're going to Florida.

Why not?

- Well, so are we.
- Oh.

Where do you go in Florida?
Miami or West Palm Beach?

Uh, you go West Palm Beach, huh?

- Miami.
- Oh, we go West Palm Beach.

But, darling, the harbor's so small there.

What do you do with your yacht?

To make it fit,
we crank down the smokestack

and squeeze in the poop deck.

Oh, Lucy, you are droll.

Oh, droll is the word.

Well, really, I hate to be crass

but I suppose we should
get down to business.

- Oh, yes. Do sit down, Cynthia.
- Thank you.

Now, I'll get out my little book here.

Now, let me see.

Yes... "Lucille McGillicuddy Ricardo."

You said on the phone
you were going to give five.

- Is that right?
- That's right.

You can put me down for five, too.

Oh, marvelous, Mrs. Hertz.

Thank you.

It's Mertz.

You spell it with an "M."

Oh? Oh, thank you.

"Mrs. Mertz-- five hundred... "

- [Ethel] Uh... Oh, uh...
- Cynthia...

W-We didn't really mean 500.

Five thousand?

Oh, no.

- Uh...
- Well, you ...

you certainly couldn't
have meant five dollars.

Oh, no.

Well, what did you mean?

I... I guess we meant 500.

Well, are you going
to give me your check now, dear?

Oh, uh, no.

No. I'll have to send you the check.

My business manager
makes out all my checks.

Oh, fine. Well, I'm at the Waldorf.

Yes.

Your check, Mrs. Mertz?

Oh, her business manager
makes out all my checks, too.

Oh?

I just love his handwriting.

Oh, well... very well.

- I'll hear from you, then.
- Oh, yes, Cynthia. Yes.

I'm so glad that you came by, dear.

- It's wonderful seeing you again.
- Goodbye.

Goodbye.

$500... each!

- Hi.
- Hi.

How'd you do?

All I could find was 76 cents

in one of Fred's old coats.

What are you doing?

I'm checking the local branch
of the First National Couch.

You find anything?

51 cents, a button, a nail file

and an old piece of Christmas candy.

Not much of a start toward $1,000, is it?

No. I even opened the baby's piggy bank.

What'd you find?

Three IOUs from Ricky.

Oh, fine.

Well, we better just send her
our checks for five dollars

- and forget about it.
- Forget about it?

Do you want your name in that little book
with "five dollars" printed after it?

Why not? For me, that's good.

Well, for me, it isn't.

All the girls I went to school with
will see that book

and I told them all that Ricky's loaded.

I just got to get my hands on $500.

Hey-- would you be willing to work for it?

Sure.

Well, Billboard always has
a lot of ads in it

wanting people for different things.

Let's see if there's
anything in here we could do.

Here.

- There.
- Hey, there's something you could do.

Oh, no, you don't.

Not even for sweet charity

am I going to box three rounds
with a kangaroo.

Let me take that.

"Need two girls with courage

"for publicity stunt.

High pay for right parties."

Ah, no.

What's the matter?
Haven't you got courage?

Yeah, I got courage,
but it says they need girls.

Well, we're girls.

We are?

If you divide everybody
into boys and girls, we're girls.

I never thought about it like that.

I'm going to call up
and find out about this ad.

- Okay.
- This might be something we could do.

Courage for what, I wonder.

Hello?

Hello. I'm calling about
your ad in Billboard--

"Two girls with courage."

Yes, sir.

Oh, yes. Yes, we can keep a secret.

Oh, plenty of courage.

Yes, sir.

All right.

623 East 68th Street, apartment 3D.

All right, sir.

Well?

He's coming right over.

- Hello.
- Hi.

Al Sparks is the name.

Oh.

Well, where are the girls?

We're the girls.

- Oh.
- Yes, this is Ethel Mertz.

I'm Lucy Ricardo.

- How do you do.
- Won't you sit down?

Yeah...

Yeah, I, uh...

I guess you'll do.

I guess it doesn't make any difference
as long as you're coming from Mars.

Mars?

- Yeah.
- So long, Lucy.

Ethel.

Did you say "coming from Mars"?

Yeah, that's right.

You see, tomorrow night,
my studio is having

a premiere of a new picture--
Women from Mars.

- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.

Well, tomorrow afternoon,
two Martian women

are going to land in New York,

abduct an earthman, and disappear.

Now, that's where you come in.

That's where I go out.

Ethel, now sit down.

Now, don't worry.
I got every angle figured.

Well, tell it to her.

Ethel, honey,

- you've got to do this with me.
- No.

- Think of my reputation.
- No.

There's 500 bucks in it for each of you.

Okay.

- What do we do?
- Now, here's the way I got it figured.

The first thing we do is sneak up
to the top of the Empire State Building.

The top of the Empire State Building?

Well, Martha, we finally made it.

Oh, yes, Henry,
the top of the Empire State Building.

You know, Martha, this is
the tallest building in the world.

- Henry, give me a dime.
- All right. Just a minute.

There you are, dear.

Oh, I can't find it.

Well, what are you looking for, Martha?

Wichita.

Oh, Martha.

Anybody knows Wichita is over that way.

Oh.

Now point it up.

- See anything?
- No.

A little higher. Look.

- See?
- Seen any flying saucers yet?

Flying saucers?

You don't mean there
really are such things?

Well, I don't know.
There've been a lot of rumors lately.

People think spaceships are coming down
from Mars and landing on Earth.

Oh, nonsense.

What's the matter?

Thought I saw something flash by just now.

It was probably nothing.

Look through there.
See if you can see anything.

Little lower. Little lower.

That may not be smoke.

Look right through there, look.
I don't see anything either.

Well, I think I saw one.

Look right through here, Martha.

- Through where?
- Right out through here.

- Little higher.
- No, it's a little lower,

a little lower than that.

[Martha] I can't see a thing.

You can't?

[Henry] I don't think there's
anything up there, really I don't.

Certainly looked like I saw something.

What are they?

Th-th-they look like women from Mars.

Now, now, let's not get hysterical.

Maybe we can talk to them.

Pardon me.

Are... are you from Mars?

- Just a minute.
- Anybody ready to go down?

Me?

Watch out! That's a paralyzing ray.

Hey, Rick, where are the girls?

I don't know. When I got home,
Mrs. Trumbull was with the baby.

- What's the matter?
- What's the matter?

We're being invaded from outer space.

What?

It's on every radio and television.

A flying saucer landed
on the Empire State Building.

40 Martians got out
and captured an earthman.

I think you've been working too hard.

Come on, come on.

Let's go up on the roof
and protect our home and loved ones.

I'll go get Little Ricky.

He's never seen a flying saucer before.

And bring your binoculars.

- Bring the binoculars.
- Now, come on.

- Yes, sir.
- Come on.

Right away.

Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi.

Hey, Little Ricky, you want to go
and see some flying saucers?

All right, girls
I'm going to get right out of here.

Here you are. Here's your money.

- $500 apiece.
- Thank you very much.

Okay, I haven't got time to wait
till you change,

I'll pick the uniforms up later.

- Okay.
- You were great.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Sechs, sieben, acht, neun.

How are things on Mars?

Very wealthy.

- Change?
- Change.

Change.

"New York invaded by Martian women.

"Hordes of invaders also seen
in New Jersey and Connecticut."

One man in Connecticut saw 20 of us.

Oh, look at those headlines.

- Lucy?
- What?

You don't suppose this is all
a horrible coincidence, do you?

What do you mean?

Well, all that Martian talk--

People thinking they've seen Martians.

You don't suppose some real Martians
decided to come down on Earth

at the same time
we pulled this stunt, do you?

Oh, that's silly...

isn't it?

I don't know. I just wish Fred was home.

Gee, I wish Ricky was home, too.

Oh, why did you have to say all that?

Now I got a spooky feeling
about everything.

- Well, all those...
- Oh, dear.

What's that?

What's that?

I don't know.

That's a horrible noise.

Call the police.

-
- Get the police.

We can't call the police.

Oh, no.

We'd have to tell them the whole story.

We can't tell anyone about this.

"...And so, it's been firmly established

"that most of the reports

"were the result of mass hysteria.

"The only Martians anyone saw

"were two on top
of the Empire State Building,

"and it is suspected
that they might have had something to do

"with the opening tomorrow
of a motion picture

"entitled Women from Mars.

"So everybody relax.

There has been no invasion by Martians."

- [Fred] Mm-hmm.
- Well, I don't know.

Well, why do you say that, honey?

Well, I've just got a funny feeling.

Listen, by the way,
you haven't said much about this.

Where were you when all
this excitement happened?

Oh, we-we-we were out shopping

and we didn't hear anything about it

until we got home, did we, Ethel?

No, no, we didn't hear anything about it.

Oh.

Well, dinner's ready.

- Yes, sir. It looks good.
- Looks good.

I hope that meat
is cooked the way you like it, Fred.

It looks delicious, Lucy. Looks delicious.

I kind of like to do things
the way you like them, you know.

You're a good cook.

You're the champion hostess.