Original subtitles

- Yeah? - "U-7..."

- No. - Oh.

"R"?

R-R-R. "R," yeah.

- "R-1 -1..." - No.

Oh.

Uh, "L"?

I-- wait a minute.

L-L-L-L, no.

- No? - No. Uh, "V"?

- "V..." yeah. - "V."

- "V-O-9-1..." - No.

- No? - Hi.

- Hi, honey. - Hi.

[Ricky] What are you doing?

Oh, we're checking dollar bills with the bonus bucks in the paper.

Oh, you're still not doing that.

Certainly. There's one worth $300 this week

and I am going to win it.

Lucy, there are eight million people in New York City,

and who knows how many one-dollar bills.

What makes you think you're gonna win?

I can't miss.

All my life, I've been eating oysters and never found a pearl.

Five years in a row, I didn't win the Irish Sweepstakes,

and only yesterday at the grocery,

I missed guessing the number of beans in the jar by two.

This time it's my turn.

Well, I didn't know all that.

I mean, you're a cinch.

And if it isn't her turn,

- it certainly is mine. - That's right.

Yeah. What's the matter with you, Rick?

Don't you realize this is a sure thing?

- Now, let's go. - Okay.

- Yeah, I didn't realize it. - Okay. "X."

"X," yeah.

"X-6-4..."

"X-6-4..."

- "3..." - "3"!

- "8..." - "8"!

- "9..." - "9"!

"1 "!

Couldn't you have made that "one" a seven?

Give me a pen and I will.

Do we dare?

Oh, no. The paper would frown on that.

The Treasury Department would make a face, too.

Well, come on, Ethel. Give me the next one.

- That's all. - Oh.

Well, another day, another no dollar.

Yeah, darn it.

Oh, wait a minute. We didn't go through the boys' money.

Ethel went through mine years ago.

I mean the money in your pockets. Give me yours, Ricky.

Look, no use going through mine.

I found a pearl in an oyster once.

It's not my turn to win either.

I found a diamond ring in a box of Cracker Jack.

Oh, now, stop!

You stop joking.

He's not joking.

Where do you think he got this?

Well, I don't care what you two do, but we're gonna win.

Come on, let's go get some more, Ethel.

- All right. - Some more what?

You watch the baby, while we're gone, will you, Fred?

- All right. - Some more what?

Some more one-dollar bills.

We're gonna take these ones and change them into fives

at the market, and then we go to the drugstore

change the fives into ones.

We've done it six times today.

How long will you be gone?

Until there isn't a dollar bill left in this neighborhood unturned.

- Good-bye, dear. - So long, Fred.

- Good-bye. - Adios.

We are married to a couple of birds.

Yep. I think we'd better see that the door of their cage is locked.

Look, I got to go to work. Excuse me while I put my tie on.

All right.

Find any new pearls?

Ah, who could tell, huh?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know, I know, yeah.

I was gonna do the same thing, but I didn't have the paper with me.

Oh, I see.

- Let's check them. - All right. Come on.

You can't tell.

Ah, that's nowhere...

- No. - Nothing ...

No.

"B-7..."

- "B-7-4..." - Yeah.

- Fred, wait a minute. - Huh?

I think I got one.

- Oh, you're kidding. - I think I got one!

- Well... - Check it for me, will you?

- Yeah. - Check that!

Yeah.

Oh, read it in English, will you? In English.

Wait a minute, what...

Look, I can't figure out what they are. You read it to me, will you? Hurry up.

Here, I'll read it.

- "B..." - "B..."

- "7..." - "7..."

- "8..." - "8..."

- "4..." - "4..."

- "5... 5..." - "5... 5..."

- "6... 2..." - "6... 2!"

- "9... G!" - "9! G"!

We got it! 300 Bucks!

Oh, no!

And we were laughing at the girls!

Ha! Lucy will die when she finds this out.

300 smackers!

Ho, ho, ho!

It's too bad she couldn't find it herself.

Oh, yes.

Wait a minute!

Maybe she can.

What do you mean, "Maybe she can"?

Tell you what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna take this dollar bill with me to the club,

and when I come home tonight, she'll be asleep, see?

So, I'll sneak into the room and I'll put this in her purse,

and tomorrow morning, I'll ask her to check her money again

and let her find it.

Oh, what a great idea!

What a kick she'll get out of this!

She'll die!

Listen, don't say a word to anybody, huh?

No, no.

Don't even tell Ethel.

I won't breathe a word to Miss Walkie-Talkie.

Okay! I'll see you later.

- All right. - That's gonna be great!

Why, honey, what are you doing up so late?

Huh?

What are you doing up so late?

Baby. I was checking if he was asleep.

Oh... well, you go back to sleep, honey.

There you are.

Good little baby.

Good night, dear.

Mmm.

Good night, honey.

Here you go.

That's a good breakfast for a big boy.

Yes, sir.

Come on, now, you got to pay a little attention to this.

- Got to put a little... - Laundry.

Oh, I forgot all about you! I'll get it.

No, I can come back a little later.

Oh, would you?

I'd appreciate it very much, thank you.

- I'll have it ready for you. - Sure, fine. Bye.

- Okay. -

Well, honey, did he scare you?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Well, come on, now, finish your breakfast.

- Mrs. Ricardo? -

Oh, come in, will you?

- Oh, gee. - Is that all for us?

No, one's for the Mertzes.

Oh. How much do I owe you?

- Uh, $3.85. -

Oh, now, honey. I'll get it for you.

Will you watch him a minute?

Yeah. I'm going to watch you now.

Here you are.

- Three... -

60, 85.

Gee, I hope one of these is a bonus buck.

Don't worry. I checked them very carefully last night.

Everybody does.

Yeah. Bye.

- Thanks a lot. Bye. - Okay.

What's the matter, sweetheart?

- - Well, what's the matter?

Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy!

- What? - I got one!

- I got a bonus buck! - Are you sure?

I checked it four times.

- Where did you get it? - The grocery boy gave it to me in change.

The grocery boy?

Oh, why didn't I have him make change for me?

Oh, isn't it wonderful?

Yeah, swell.

Well, you don't sound very happy.

Oh, I'm happy, I'm happy.

Why, Lucy Ricardo, I believe you're jealous.

No, I'm not.

I-I'm happy you-you won.

Really, I am.

Oh, think of it.

This little piece of green paper is worth $300!

- Yippee! - Yeah, isn't it exciting?

- Isn't that wonderful? - Yeah.

- I couldn't believe it... - What are you going...

- ...when I checked the numbers. - ...to buy with all that money?

Well, I know how you must've felt.

- Hey! - Yeah, what?

What's all the shouting about?

Oh, Ethel just found a bonus buck.

No kidding?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Well, congratulations. - Thank you.

The grocery boy gave it to her

- in change. - Oh.

If I couldn't win, I'm glad it was Ethel.

Well, that's nice.

But, uh, what would you say if I told you that Ethel wasn't the only one?

What do you mean?

Well, I wanted it to be a surprise, but, uh ...

But what?

I found a bonus buck last night, too.

Really? Where is it?

Now, wait a minute.

See, I wanted you to find it before I did.

- See? - Yeah, yeah?

And, uh, so, I took it with me to the club.

Yeah, well, where is it? Where is it?

Now, wait a minute!

I took it to the club with me last night

- and then I came home... - Yeah.

- ...and you were asleep. - Yeah.

- So I sneaked into the room... - Yeah.

- ...and I opened your purse. - Yeah.

- And I put it inside your purse. - Oh, no!

Oh, no!

[Ethel] What's the matter?

I-I gave all the money in my purse to the grocery boy.

Oh, no!

Yeah!

See you later.

Wait a minute!

Wait a minute.

I gave our bonus buck to the grocery boy.

He said he was going right over to your apartment,

so that must be ours.

Ours was the big one-- 300 bucks!

- So is that one. - It's ours!

Now, wait a minute.

The grocery boy gave that to me in change,

so it's legally mine.

- Now, Ethel... - Now, now, no.

- Of course it's mine. - I found it.

I had it in my pocket.

Ethel, Ethel, you heard what he said.

Yes, but you gave it to him and ...

No, but I found it last night.

What's all the ruckus?

Oh, well, I got a bonus dollar...

Wait a minute, will you? Wait a minute, wait a minute!

Give me this one at a time, will you?

The grocery boy gave me a bonus buck in change.

Yeah, but it's really mine

because I gave it to the grocery boy by mistake.

Yeah, she didn't know I had put it

- in her purse last night. - No, no.

You mean that's the bill you showed me last night?

Yeah, the big one! You know the 300 bucks.

You saw me with it, didn't you, Fred?

Sure, I saw you with it. You had it.

There! Now, whose dollar is it?

- It's Ethel's. - There, you see?

Ethel's?

How can you say that?

Because possession is nine points of the law.

Possession?

Hey, he's right. He's right.

Fred is right.

Well, I'm glad you finally saw the light.

I sure did.

Now wait a minute, that's mine!

Now you heard what Fred said.

Possession is nine points of the law, and I'm possessed!

Give me back my dollar bill!

[Ricky] Ethel! Lucy!

Well, I hope you're satisfied.

Look what you did.

Look what I did?

Would you mind giving me the rest of my dollar?

Would you mind giving me the rest of my dollar?

Ethel!

Well, it's mine!

Now, just a minute, dear.

The grocery boy gave it to me.

All right, all right, now, just a minute.

Just a minute.

We each have a very good case.

So, I tell you what let's do.

Let's split it.

We just did.

I mean the money.

Let's divide it.

- Oh... - No.

Now, look, it says in the paper

that somebody has to get down there before 3:00 with the buck,

or nobody gets no money.

- [Fred] That's right. - That's right.

All right.

All right, Ethel, give me your half and I'll paste them together.

No, you give me your half.

Why, Ethel Mertz, don't you trust me?

No!

What an awful thing to say!

Well, you don't trust me.

That's different. I know I can trust me.

Oh, look who knows she can trust...

All right, all right, now, just a minute.

I'll take charge of it.

Just give them to me.

Apparently, there's only one person here who everyone trusts.

Lucy?

Well!

Okay, I'll tell you what we'll do.

We'll each keep our half

and we'll go to the newspaper office together.

I'm for that.

- Okay, I'll buy that. - I'm for that.

- All right, give it to me. - Hey!

For safekeeping.

And I'll take charge of this for safekeeping.

Now I'll dress and take a shower

and we'll all go down there together.

Call Mrs. Trumbull.

All right.

Hurry up.

Yes, well, I'd appreciate it if you could come over

as soon as possible, Mrs. Trumbull.

Thanks very much. Bye.

Mrs. Ricardo, laundry.

Oh, I forgot all about you. I'll get it right away.

Okay, I'll wait.

Oh, sorry to keep you waiting.

- It's okay. - Thanks a lot.

- Okay, bye. - See you next week.

Come on, Ricky, it's half past 1 :00. Hurry up!

[Ricky] What's your hurry? We don't have to be there till 3:00.

Well, I don't want to take any chances.

The subway might break down or something.

- Yeah, come on, Rick. - Yeah, come on, come on.

[Ricky] All right, all right.

- Come on, let's go. - You ready?

Good.

Oop. Wait a minute.

What's the matter?

I forgot one little item.

What?

- Our half of the bonus buck. - Oh.

Oh. Oh.

[Lucy] That's all we need.

I left it in the top of my pajamas.

Ricky?

Yes?

Those pajamas...

Were they the red ones?

Yeah.

- With the check tops? - Yeah.

That were hanging in the bathroom?

Yeah. I'll go get it.

What do you mean, "were hanging"?

Lucy...

Lucy?

What did you do with those pajamas?

I... Well, I, uh...

What happened?

- I, uh... - Where are they?

How did I know there was any money in them?

- Where are they? - Where are they?

- Where are they? - At the laundry.

At the laundry?

At the laundry.

How could you do a stupid thing like that?

Three hundred bucks gone to the laundry!

If you were a man, I'd punch you in the nose.

Well, now, wait a minute, it isn't my fault.

It's Ricky's fault.

Ricky's!

Sure. How did I know there was anything in the pocket,

and that was a pretty silly place to put it!

Yeah! Yeah!

That was a pretty dumb stunt.

Yeah!

And if you weren't such a young man, I'd punch you in the nose!

Now just a minute, everybody.

It's nobody's fault, really.

It's just bad luck, that's all.

Now we just got to go down there and get it before they wash it.

- Wash it? - Whoo.

Yeah. Come on, let's go.

- Oh. - Wait, wait, wait, wait.

- What? - Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Well, it's no use all of us going down to the laundry.

You go to the newspaper office and show them your half of the buck

and then tell them

that I'm coming right over with the other half.

- [Lucy] Yeah. - [Ricky] All right?

No matter what happens, get that bill.

All right, now, well, we-we might...

we might have to spend a few dollars getting it.

That's all right.

- We'll pay it out of the winnings. - Okay, let's go.

- Okay. - Come on, let's go.

- Take a cab. - We'll take a taxi.

Oh.

Uh, I'm Mr. Ricardo.

- I'm Mrs. Ricardo. - We'd like to...

Just a minute.

- I'm Mrs. Ricardo... - Look, I'm Mr. Ricardo.

- ...and I'd like to ask... - We sent a pajama here...

- ...if I could get something... - We'd like to get it back.

- ...that was in the laundry. - Because we-we...

- ...weren't supposed to... - Hup-up-up-up-up-up!

Now, please, just one of you

tell me your story in just plain English.

You.

Well, you see, I-I found a bonus buck, and I brought it home last night.

I wanted to surprise my wife with it.

And then he took it downstairs,

He gave it to the manager of the apartment, who's Mrs. Mertz,

in the change, and then when they come up

she said she had found the bonus buck.

Actually, well, bonus buck...

And then we had a big fight and then we tore it up.

She had a half, and we had a half and then we decided together

maybe we'd go down to the newspaper office and win the $300.

...and it's here, we got to get it back.

Look, you... you picked a fine one to tell you in plain English.

Look, there's a little slip of paper that's worth $300.

It's in the pocket of my husband's pajamas and I sent it to the laundry.

Is that what you was trying to say?

Now never mind that. I got to go in there and get it.

Can't you even read plain English?

- Look. This is worth $300. - Very important.

We got to go in there.

You ain't an employee and you can't go in there!

I got my orders!

- Yeah, you're right, sir. - Forgive us.

Forget all about it.

It's all right, it's your job. That's all right.

Hey! Where's your number?

Where are your slips?

You can't go in there.

You ain't an employee!

Come back here, you rascal, you!

You'll lose me my job!

I got them, Lucy!

Get out! Honey, I got them!

- Let go of me! - Get out, Lucy!

Honey, I got them!

It's in the corner!

- Where? - Honey, our laundry bag's

in the corner, right there.

- The blue one. - Honey, where?

- The blue one, honey. - Where?

In the corner, yeah!

Will you let go of me!

[Ricky] Just keep diving, honey. Don't worry.

- I got them! - You're crazy!

[Ricky] Keep diving, that's all!

Attagirl.

Go up the stairs!

What are you doing?

- You did it now. - Yeah, I got it!

You got it, honey? Fine.

Where does this go?

It goes to the starch vat!

What?

It goes to the starch vat!

The starch vat!

Ethel, it's almost 3:00.

I don't think they're gonna make it.

Oh, now, don't give up. We still got one minute.

All right. Now, for the last time,

will you give me half the money if I give you half the bill?

For the last time, no!

Ethel, cancel our subscription.

We don't take this paper.

Well, order a subscription and then cancel it.

Oh...

Did I make it?

Where's Lucy?

She's having a little trouble coming up the stairs.

- Here it is. - What happened to it?

Well, she had it with her when it fell in the starch vat.

- Oh, let me have it. - Come on.

- I haven't got it. - Where's yours?

- I haven't got it! - What do you mean you haven't got it?

- There it is. - Here it is.

There it is.

Give me the money!

- Hurry up! - You made it. Congratulations!

Ah, we won! We won!

We made it.

Now listen, Fred.

We had a few little expenses, you know.

- Yeah? - Yeah?

Remember you say we pay them out of the winnings.

- Yeah. - Sure, I remember.

Okay. Well, it was $29 for the taxicab.

$29?

Yeah, well, we told him to wait for us.

Oh, yeah.

- We couldn't take a chance. - Yeah.

And then we had to give $10 to the fellow down at the laundry

for his overalls and his cap.

- Yeah. - We had to sneak in the laundry

- you know, to get her to give back. - Yeah, so?

And then we gave the taxicab driver an extra $25 to get us here in time.

Extra $25?

Yes. Well, we didn't want to take a chance in not getting here, you know?

And a $50 fine for speeding.

Fifty dollars?

- We were going awful fast. - Yeah.

And then all the damage at the laundry.

Damage?

Yeah. We-we messed the place up pretty bad.

H-H-How much was that?

That's $185.

$185?

Yeah. I'll count it out, wait a minute.

185, and 50 for cab...

Is there gonna be anything...?

How much... how much have we got left?

Yeah.

One dollar?

Oh, no!