Original subtitles

Oh.

Hi, Lucy.

Oh, hi.

Look around, Ethel.

You wouldn't know there was a baby in this apartment,

would you?

Well, I might get a slight clue

from that bundle you're carrying in your arms.

No, I mean you wouldn't know that a baby lived here,

you know, with all the things you have to have for a baby.

Just by looking at this room

you wouldn't notice that.

You know, a high chair and a crib

and diapers and bottles and bottle warmers and toys.

So, what's your point?

So, it just shows what you can do with a little system.

I had to find a place for everything

if we're going to be stuck in this apartment.

What do you mean, "stuck"?

Well, I've been trying to convince Ricky

that we need a larger apartment now that we have the baby,

but I can't get anywhere with him.

Well, I'm glad. I don't want you moving away,

and I haven't got a bigger apartment that's vacant.

Well, it wouldn't matter if you did.

Ricky says we can't afford it.

Yeah, honey.

Well, you sure did a good job

of putting everything away, honey.

I came up to borrow a cup of sugar.

Will you loan it to me?

Yeah.

What a matter?

Here's your sugar.

- Lucy... - Hmm?

I might be slightly confused

because I've only lived

in this building 16 years,

but isn't the kitchen that way?

Yeah.

Well, do you always keep the sugar in the bedroom?

Oh, it wasn't in the bedroom;

it was in the bathroom.

You see, I found a place for each thing,

but when I came to the sugar,

the kitchen was all full.

Uh-huh.

Well, thanks for the sugar.

I got to go bake my cake.

Oh, that reminds me,

I got to get a roast in the oven.

So long.

Bye.

Lucy, I'm home.

Oh, hi, honey.

Oh, hi.

Lucy.

Yeah?

There's no room in the closet for my coat.

Nonsense-- I reorganized the entire apartment today

and there was a place for everything.

You're right.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

What am I going to do with this?

I guess you'll just have to wear it.

Listen, have I got time before dinner to do some work?

I'll say.

Lucy!

Yeah?

What are all my socks doing in the desk?

I'm keeping them there now.

Your underwear is in the other drawer.

So what happened to the dresser?

I had to have more room for the baby's things.

I'm putting things away for three now, dear.

All right, all right, all right, all right, okay.

Ay, qué barbaridad!

Mira, ¿qué tienen las cosas?, los juguetes aquí

y las medias allí los calzoncillos allá

y no se puede sentar en la casa...

Temper, temper...

temper.

Why don't you put these things away where they belong?

Gladly-- where do they belong?

Well, there must be some better place

to put all this junk

than under the cushions in the living room.

Not in this stuffy little crackerbox.

Ricky, I worked very hard

finding a place for everything.

You don't realize what a problem it is.

After all, I'm only human.

I can only do so much, you know.

All right, all right, all right, all right!

Let's not go through that again.

Go through what again?

"This apartment is entirely too small

"for the two of us and Little Ricky,

and if we don't move to a larger apartment, I'll go crazy."

Well, I'm glad you finally agreed with me.

Never mind that.

Now, look, honey, I know it's crowded here,

and I would love to move just as much as you would,

but we can't afford it.

Can't afford it! Can't afford it!

That's all you ever say anymore.

Well, we can't afford it!

There you go again!

Well, we can't!

Well, I can't afford to work so hard either.

You don't know how tough it is.

I'm wasting away to nothing.

Well, you're the fattest nothing I've ever seen.

Well!

Now, look, we are staying right here

and that's all there is to it.

Hey, I forgot to tell you...

Well, I'll see you later.

Wait a minute, Ethel.

Come back here.

I'm just trying to reason

with Mr. Ricky Ricardo, the Cuban skinflint.

Hey, I came up to tell you something.

You know the Bensons that live in 3B?

Yeah.

Their daughter got married this afternoon.

Really?

Yeah, I just saw Mr. and Mrs. Benson in the hall.

They both reacted in the strangest way

to their daughter's wedding--

She was crying and he was laughing.

He probably thought that he would never unload her.

Oh, I'll have Mrs. Benson

crying on my shoulder for months.

Every time she faces her daughter's empty room,

she'll rush right...

Empty room.

They've got an extra room they don't need!

Oh, gee, I hope they don't move.

I hope they do.

Why, Lucy!

That way we could move to a larger apartment

and still stay in the building.

Yeah, but we'd lose a tenant.

Oh.

Maybe they'll trade.

[Ethel] Hey, that's a wonderful idea.

[Lucy] Do you think they'd do it?

Now, wait a minute.

[Ethel] There's no harm in asking them.

I bet we could talk them into it.

- [Lucy] That would just be ideal. - Lucy.

We could take their daughter's room,

make it into the nursery.

I know just how the furniture would go.

- [Ethel] And then she wouldn't - Ethel.

Have to face that empty room...

I "wun't swish aparments."

Did you understand what I said?

All right.

What did I say?

You "wun't swish aparments."

"Buh" why?

Look, the Bensons' apartment

is larger than this apartment.

Therefore, it must cost more

than this apartment.

$20 a month more.

You see?

Now, there you are.

Now, I told you, I would love to move

just as much as you would,

but we can't afford it.

I know, I know.

Those must be

the first English words you ever learned.

[Ethel] Ricky, I know

this isn't any of my business,

but Lucy is awful crowded here,

and, well, you know there is that extra room downstairs...

Ethel, Ethel, never mind.

Ricky is right.

After all, Ricky is my husband,

he's Little Ricky's father,

and I respect his judgment.

In all the years that we've been married,

I've never known him to be anything

but generous and kindhearted

and wonderful.

Kiss me.

I can't afford it.

What do you mean, you can't afford it?

That kiss will cost me $20 a month.

You don't love me anymore, Ricky!

You don't care how hard I work!

You don't care

if Little Ricky is so crowded

that he can't even move around!

I do, too, Lucy!

I love you very much

and I care that Little Ricky is so crowded

and I think it's terrible...

Oh, shut up!

Come on, Ethel!

Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay!

Ay!

- Hi. - Hi.

Hi.

Any new developments since last night?

No.

Is there anything you can think of

that we can do to help you, Lucy?

Anything?

Anything at all?

No.

Thanks, Fred.

We'll just have to go on living exactly the way we are.

Little Ricky is going to get awfully cramped

sleeping in that crib until he's 21 years old.

Gee, I wish there was

something we could do.

Of course, it's just the extra rent that stands in the way.

If we could get the Benson apartment

for the same amount of money that we pay here,

there wouldn't be any problem.

Don't you think that possibly...

Maybe you could...

No.

It wouldn't be fair to the other tenants.

Oh...

I guess you're right, Fred.

We'll just have to stay the way we are

until we get so crowded we can't turn around.

Can't turn around.

[Ethel] What are you talking about?

What a dope I've been!

Of course Ricky is willing to stay here

if I break my back putting everything away.

I've been doing everything all wrong.

Look at that gleam in her eye.

Lucy?

Yes, dear?

Hey, what is all this stuff?

What's this thing doing here?

That's Little Ricky's slide.

Oh, no, come on, now, Lucy!

What's going on?

Nothing, dear.

Just a few things we needed for the baby

and I didn't have any other place to put them.

Lucy...!

Oh, I know it's crowded, dear,

but you'll just have to bear with it

if we're going to stay in this teensy apartment.

Lucy, I sw...

How am I supposed to get in here?

Be my guest.

Look out for the Super Chief!

Look out for the Super Chief!

Na-na-na!

Na-na-na-na!

Na-na-na, na-na-na!

Here we go, whoo-whoo!

Whoo-whoo!

Whoo-whoo.

Lucy, I know what you're up to

and we are not going to move!

Well, if you want to live like this.

You are going to take all this stuff back.

No, I'm not.

Oh, yes, you are.

No, I'm not.

Oh, yes, you are, and not only that,

but I'm going to put you on top of my knee and spank you.

Well, you have to catch me first.

Oh-oh-oh!

Ricky!

Ricky, you're making me dizzy!

Ricky!

Oh, Ricky, you're making me dizzy!

Ricky!

Oh!

Oh, Ricky!

Ow, Ricky!

I'll take them back, I'll take them back!

Ricky!

Good morning, Mrs. Benson.

Hello, Mrs. Ricardo, Mrs. Mertz.

Come in, come in.

We just thought we'd come down and chat a while.

Oh, how nice.

Now, sit down and make yourselves at home.

I was just mixing a meat loaf.

Oh, it smells good.

Oh, thank you.

I'll be right with you.

Oh, take your time.

Take your time.

Gee, won't this be a wonderful place for us to live in?

It'll be a wonderful place

for you to recuperate in

when Ricky finds out what you're up to.

Oh, he won't mind.

I just used

the wrong approach last night, that's all.

But I'm going to take all those toys back.

Even if you do talk Mrs. Benson

into switching apartments with you,

this apartment is still going to cost Ricky

an extra $20 a month.

It isn't going to cost Ricky anything.

It's going to cost me $20 a month.

I'm going to scrimp and save

and pay it out of my allowance.

You're already drawn on your allowance

seven months in advance!

Oh, you'll never be able to pay me.

I will, too.

If I were smart,

I'd let you have this place for the same price;

then we could still stay friends.

Yeah!

But I'm not that smart.

Well, then you just have to help me work on Mrs. Benson.

Okay.

Now, after all, it's for her own good.

She won't have to worry about her daughter being gone...

Sorry to keep you waiting.

Oh.

Well, now, there we are.

Uh, how have you been, Mrs. Benson?

Oh, fine, just fine.

It's a beautiful morning, isn't it?

Wonderful.

Don't you just love the spring?

Uh-huh.

Mmm!

Congratulations on your daughter's marriage.

Uh...

My baby, my baby!

[Lucy] Oh...

Oh, the thorns of motherhood.

Oh, poor Mrs. Benson.

Yes, poor Mrs. Benson.

She's left me, my little baby.

Oh, well, don't feel too badly, Mrs. Benson,

she'll come to see you often.

Oh, no, she won't.

And I'm all alone.

Oh, well, you still have Mr. Benson.

Eh!

Oh, I... I feel so sorry for Mrs. Benson,

rattling around in this big apartment

and her daughter's room standing there empty,

reminding her that she's all alone.

Oh, I know.

What?

Um, this is a big sacrifice to make,

but I can't stand to see her suffer.

Our apartment would be just perfect for the Bensons.

Why, yes, it's just the right size.

No, no, no, I couldn't,

I couldn't...

It's $20 a month cheaper.

Oh?

Well, Mr. Benson would like that.

Oh, yeah, when do we switch? Today?

Oh, no, no, my dear.

I couldn't do it today.

You see, I'll be out all day

helping my baby get settled.

She'll get no help

from that nincompoop she's married.

Well, why don't you give me the key

and I'll have everything all fixed up when you come back?

Oh, my dear, now, I don't know.

What about the moving?

Isn't that very expensive?

Oh, well, don't you worry about it.

I'll take care of everything.

As a matter of fact,

some of my best friends are furniture movers.

Really?

Oh, that's wonderful.

I certainly appreciate all you're doing.

Oh, that's all right.

Bless you.

Well, I'll go and get you the key.

All right.

Oh, dear.

If you think I'm going to help you carry

all of this furniture...

Shh... be quiet.

We'll talk about it later.

You want us to stay here, don't you?

Yes, but I'm not going to help you carry

all this furniture back and forth...

Fred will.

Fred wouldn't touch a piece of it.

What do you mean?

Well, we're ready.

Oh, shh!

I told you not to come up here

until he had left.

Now, go on.

I'll pound on the floor when I want you.

- Go on. - All right.

Hurry up, before he sees you.

You better hurry, dear, you'll be late for rehearsal.

[Ricky] No, I got plenty of time.

What are you going to do today?

Why do you ask that?

I just thought you could take my tux to the cleaners.

Oh... oh, sure, sure, sure.

I haven't got a thing to do.

I'm just going to be sitting around, resting, relaxing.

Well, good-bye, dear.

Good-bye.

Bye.

Uh...

My foot went to sleep.

I forgot my music.

Oh. Don't be late for your rehearsal, dear.

Oh, listen, honey, there's something

I want to talk to you about.

What, dear?

Well, you know, I've been thinking

the whole situation about moving and everything,

you know, and really I want you to understand

that I would like to very much,

but you don't seem to realize...

I do realize, dear...

No, you don't.

Yes, I do.

I understand exactly.

You don't...

Yes, I do, dear, good-bye.

Let's get started.

Hey, where's the baby?

Mrs. Trumbull is going to take care of him today.

Now, okay, everybody grab something up here,

take it downstairs, pick up something downstairs,

bring it up here and keep on going

till we get everything switched around in both apartments.

Now, come on.

All right.

Well, my back has been bothering me lately.

You've been using that same gag for years.

Come on, now, and do a man's work.

Lucy, give him that coffee table.

That's too heavy for you.

There, that's better.

Yeah!

Come on.

[Ethel] Watch out, now.

Take it easy.

All right.

Take it easy going around that corner.

Don't scratch anything, now, Fred.

Watch your fingers.

Gee, this is heavy, isn't it?

Where do you want this?

Oh, right there, thank you.

Hey, we're pretty fast movers, aren't we?

Yeah, we're the busy little bees, all right.

Well, let's not lose any time, busy bees.

Buzz on up and get some more furniture.

All right, all right.

Say, Lucy.

Correct me if I'm wrong,

but we've been moving for three hours now

and there's one member of our little moving firm

that I haven't passed on the stairs lately.

Has Fred goofed off?

I wasn't referring to Fred.

Well, Ethel, you certainly don't mean me.

Don't I?

Why, I've been working like a Trojan

overseeing things.

Someone's got to be in charge.

Well, let's take turns being in charge.

Well!

Apparently one of our busy bees is a sorehead.

Well, apparently one of our busy bees

thinks she's the queen.

All right, all right.

Don't get your stinger out of joint.

You just relax.

I'll move all the rest of my furniture myself.

Everything!

Well, this is the last of it.

Nice timing.

Oh, come on, now, let's not get mad.

We're all finished.

Let's all go down to the corner drugstore

and relax over an ice cream soda.

I'll buy.

Well, you talked me into it.

Come on.

You know, I may have a sandwich

and a piece of apple pie.

With whipped cream-- I'm hungry, huh?

Ricky will just love this apartment

once he gets...

What happened? What happened?

How did the Benson furniture get back in here?

I can't understand it!

I didn't have anything stronger than an ice cream soda.

Hi.

I can't... Hi.

How do you like it?

How do I like what?

Oh.

Oh, they didn't get here, huh?

Who didn't get here?

Honey, I had a wonderful surprise for you,

but I guess they didn't get here,

so I might as well tell you.

Tell me what?

I got Mr. Benson's okay,

and then I called Mrs. Trumbull

and asked her to call me

as soon as you left the apartment,

and then I called the movers

and told them to rush over here

and switch all the furniture

from our apartment to this apartment

and all the furniture from this apartment to...

- Ew... - Ew... -Ew...

Mrs. Benson was played by Norma Varden.