All language subtitles for I Love Lucy S09E03 Lucy Meets the Moustache 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track4_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:09,384 Westinghouse, 2 00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:11,220 first with the future, 3 00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:12,596 presents... 4 00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:17,226 The Lucille Ball-Desi Arnaz Show 5 00:00:17,226 --> 00:00:21,730 with special guest stars Ernie Kovacs and Edie Adams, 6 00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:26,235 and, of course, Vivian Vance, William Frawley and Little Ricky. 7 00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:34,493 - Hi, honey. - Hi. 8 00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:36,286 - [Fred] Hi, Lucy. - We're going down to the village. 9 00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:37,371 Want to come along? 10 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,373 No. Ricky'll be home soon. 11 00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:40,790 I'd better hang around. 12 00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,918 What's the matter? Can't he open the door by himself? 13 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,922 He's been very depressed lately. 14 00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:48,799 I just like to be here when he gets home. 15 00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:50,592 Is business at the club bad? 16 00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:53,679 No, business at the club is all right. 17 00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:59,268 It's just that he hasn't had any movie or television offers in such a long time, 18 00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:01,728 he's beginning to think maybe he's in the wrong business. 19 00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,438 [Fred] Well, if he's smart, he'll do what I did. 20 00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:06,400 I got out of the business the day vaudeville died. 21 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,027 Vaudeville didn't die, you beat it to death. 22 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:13,949 Gee, Lucy, you'd think there'd be a part for him on some TV series. 23 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,785 Do you know that he hasn't even had an offer 24 00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:19,580 to stand up in the audience on The Ed Sullivan Show? 25 00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:23,542 Listen, instead of going to the village, 26 00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:25,419 why don't you stay here and wait for Ricky to come home 27 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,545 and help me cheer him up, huh? 28 00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:27,712 - Sure. - All right. 29 00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:29,131 Okay, let's have a cup of coffee. 30 00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:31,174 - Fine. Thanks. - All right. 31 00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:33,093 Gee, honey, I'm sorry to hear he's so depressed. 32 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,970 Oh, you don't know what I've been going through. 33 00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:36,346 It's just been terrible. 34 00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:40,225 Here you are, Fritz. 35 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:41,935 How do we cheer him up? 36 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,271 Oh, just smile and be gay. 37 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,647 Act happy. 38 00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:47,941 For Fred, that's quite an acting job, girl. 39 00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:02,164 Boy, this is pretty strong coffee. 40 00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:05,042 Oh, that's one of Little Ricky's jokes. 41 00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:06,543 Every time he gets his allowance, 42 00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:09,212 he runs right down to that magic shop. 43 00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:12,132 - There's another spoon over there, Fred. - Thanks. 44 00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,633 I think that's cute. 45 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:15,719 He got his allowance again this morning. 46 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:18,055 Heaven only knows what he'll come home with this time. 47 00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:20,931 Oh, that must be Ricky. 48 00:02:20,931 --> 00:02:22,309 Smile, be gay. 49 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,149 Well, you can wipe those grins off your kissers. 50 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,609 It isn't Ricky. 51 00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:31,610 It's Little Ricky. 52 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:36,490 And he's getting out of a long, white, Continental limousine. 53 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:37,949 [Ethel] A what? 54 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:42,079 Just how much allowance do you give that kid? 55 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:45,582 - It belongs to Ernie Kovacs. - Oh. 56 00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,167 And a chauffeur, too. 57 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,419 Well, naturally. When you spend that kind of dough, 58 00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:52,089 they probably throw a chauffeur in as standard equipment. 59 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,675 The Kovacs' daughter, Kippie, goes to Little Ricky's school. 60 00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,511 Sometimes when the chauffeur brings her home, 61 00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:58,512 he brings him home, too. 62 00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:02,139 Well, I'm glad of Little Ricky running around with rich gals. 63 00:03:02,139 --> 00:03:03,642 I wish I had. 64 00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,560 I wish you had, too. 65 00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,145 You two. 66 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,816 - Hi, honey. - Hi. 67 00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:11,733 Hello, Crandall. 68 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:12,651 - Hi, Ricky. - Good day, madam. 69 00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:15,237 - Uh, Crandall, this is Mr. and Mrs. Mertz. - [Ethel] How do you do? 70 00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:16,988 - How do you do? - How are ya, Crandall? 71 00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:18,448 That's some boat you got there. 72 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:19,700 What kind of mileage do you get? 73 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,785 Very good, sir. Are you thinking of buying one? 74 00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:23,453 Ha! 75 00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:28,041 Mommy, can I go to Kippie Kovacs's house to play? 76 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,127 How about practicing your drums? 77 00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:32,629 I'll practice before dinner when I get home. 78 00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:35,465 - All right, I guess that's okay. - Thanks, Mommy. 79 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:37,926 - - Oh, excuse me. That's my back door. 80 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:39,678 Excuse me, that's not the back door. 81 00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:41,680 It's the phone in the car. Good day. 82 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,181 Nice to have met you. 83 00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,474 Come along, young man. 84 00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:48,270 A phone in a car! 85 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,938 That's what I call luxury. 86 00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:54,234 Oh, wouldn't I love to have a limousine with a telephone in it. 87 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,819 Well, I'll make a deal with you, Ethel. 88 00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:57,821 You buy the limousine, and I'll get you the phone. 89 00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,406 Oh. 90 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:00,949 - - There's Ricky's car. 91 00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:02,826 Smile. Smile now. 92 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:06,747 [Ethel] Hi, Rick. 93 00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:07,956 - Hi. - Hi, Rick. 94 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,708 [Ethel] Nice day. My, you look nice today. 95 00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:12,294 - [Fred] Hi, old boy. - [Lucy] How are you, sweetheart? 96 00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:13,503 [Fred] Hi, Ricky. 97 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:16,214 Imagine that producer wanting me to audition my act 98 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:18,341 for his television show. 99 00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:19,718 The day I have to audition 100 00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:21,470 is the day that I get out of this business. 101 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:24,389 For two cents, I'd move right back to Cuba. 102 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,186 Now can we stop smiling? 103 00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:33,106 Cuba? He's in worse shape than we thought. 104 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:36,777 Oh, that. He always threatens to go back to Cuba when he's upset. 105 00:04:40,988 --> 00:04:42,532 What are you doing back here so soon? 106 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:45,452 I had a fight with Kippie Kovacs. 107 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:48,205 How many times have I told you not to fight with girls? 108 00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:49,998 Especially rich ones. 109 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:53,168 She said her daddy was a bigger star than my daddy. 110 00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:54,169 Is he? 111 00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,547 Not to us, he isn't. 112 00:04:58,214 --> 00:04:59,800 Now go practice your drums. 113 00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:05,096 Don't include me in that "us." 114 00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:07,724 Ernie Kovacs is a bigger star than Ricky Ricardo. 115 00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:08,975 - [Ethel] Oh, Fred. - Fred, shush. 116 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,560 How do you think he got that car? 117 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,479 Saving cigar coupons? 118 00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,064 [Ethel] Honestly, Fred. 119 00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:15,982 In fact, I saw in the paper this morning 120 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,692 where Ernie Kovacs has signed 121 00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:20,111 to do ten big television shows this season. 122 00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,240 Maybe he could find a spot for Ricky. 123 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:26,785 Yeah. He's looking for acts, and he's holding auditions. 124 00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:29,329 - I'll go get the paper. - Yeah, Fred, go get the paper. 125 00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:34,835 Gee, this may be just the perfect chance for Ricky. 126 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,587 I don't know. You heard what he said about auditioning. 127 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:39,923 Oh, yeah, that's right. 128 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,342 Gee, if there was just some way I could get Ricky to audition 129 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:43,760 without his knowing it. 130 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:47,347 What do you have in mind, hypnosis or novocaine? 131 00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:51,976 You know, I could ask the Kovacs over here for dinner tomorrow night. 132 00:05:51,976 --> 00:05:54,020 And then while we're sitting around, having coffee, 133 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:56,356 I could say, "Let's have a little entertainment." 134 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,442 And then I could suggest that Ricky play his guitar and sing. 135 00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:00,527 Oh, now, wait a minute. 136 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,529 Won't he get suspicious if you suggest he sing? 137 00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:05,574 Oh, yeah, I guess you're right. Who else is there? 138 00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:06,741 Me, I could do it. 139 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:07,909 - You? - Yeah, me. 140 00:06:22,339 --> 00:06:24,676 Say, uh, where is it again we're going for dinner? 141 00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:27,428 - The Ricardos. - The Ricardos? What kid is he? 142 00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:29,890 Oh, their little boy goes to school with Betty and Kippie. 143 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,766 In fact, he's one of Kippie's best friends. 144 00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:34,226 Yeah, all of Kippie's friends are her best friends. 145 00:06:34,226 --> 00:06:35,687 Which one is he? 146 00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:38,773 He's the one that twisted her arm and kicked her in the shins yesterday. 147 00:06:39,815 --> 00:06:41,192 Oh, that best friend. 148 00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:44,446 Oh, Kippie was very friendly, too. 149 00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:47,574 She scratched his face and pulled out a handful of his hair. 150 00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:50,285 Then why are we going over there? 151 00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:51,827 For a summit meeting? 152 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,080 Oh, Ernie. 153 00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:58,335 Well, what are you doing? 154 00:06:58,335 --> 00:06:59,878 Getting together a few props. 155 00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:01,796 You know how it is when you go to somebody's house, 156 00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:03,214 they ask you to entertain all the time. 157 00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:04,799 Oh, not tonight they won't. 158 00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:06,551 Mr. Ricardo is an entertainer himself. 159 00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:07,886 - Oh, is he? - Hmm. 160 00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:08,970 What's he do? 161 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,222 He's Ricky Ricardo, the bandleader. 162 00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:13,892 Well, you know, the one that plays the bongo drums. 163 00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,560 Yeah, yeah, that one. 164 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,395 We used to call him the Cuban Krupa. 165 00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:19,439 What's he doing now? 166 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,399 He owns a nightclub in New York. 167 00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,735 I'm sure we'll be asked to entertain. 168 00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,612 A performer feels he's insulting another one 169 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:26,988 if he doesn't ask him, you know. 170 00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:28,073 That's your opinion, 171 00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:30,825 but what are you doing with my sheet music? 172 00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:33,161 Oh, you don't think you're gonna get off scot-free, do you? 173 00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:34,829 I got these. I'll put this in the garage. 174 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,247 I'm sure they'll ask you to sing. 175 00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:37,832 Now, aren't you jumping to conclusions? 176 00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:41,002 I mean, now, if one plumber goes to visit another plumber, 177 00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:42,754 do you think he takes along a monkey wrench, 178 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:45,006 and they spend the whole evening fixing leaky faucets? 179 00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:47,133 I don't know, I've never been a plumber. 180 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:50,178 But after last month's bill, I wish I were. 181 00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:52,097 W-W-What are you doing now? 182 00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:54,015 I got a big day tomorrow, I'm getting out early. 183 00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:56,142 - I'll set this at 10:00. - 184 00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:58,144 - When it goes off, we can leave. Hmm? - Oh. 185 00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:02,273 Well, but 10:00? Now, isn't that a little rude? 186 00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:04,567 Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right. 187 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,277 I'll make it five after 10:00. 188 00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:08,029 - - 189 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,158 - - Oh, Ernie. 190 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:15,829 Oh, Edie, it must be a load of fun being married to a comedian. 191 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,539 You'd think so, wouldn't you? 192 00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,583 Ernie, would you like a cigar? 193 00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:21,584 Oh, yeah. 194 00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:24,879 Uh, have one of mine. 195 00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:27,257 Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. 196 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:36,099 Uh, while we're all sitting around doing nothing, 197 00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:37,851 how about some entertainment? 198 00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,894 [Lucy] Yeah, let's have some entertainment. 199 00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:42,480 [Ernie] Well, I'm not that used to entertaining in the living room, 200 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:47,152 but I did bring along some props to do a couple of magic tricks. 201 00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:53,700 Edie, is he as comical at home as he is on television? 202 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,870 Yes, but the only trouble is at home, I can't turn him off. 203 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,913 Oh! 204 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,667 - Here we are. - [Ethel] Oh, look. 205 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,002 These are just plain cards. 206 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:05,295 [Ricky] You want it right here, Ernie? 207 00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:06,921 - [Ernie] Yeah, that'll be fine. - [Ricky] Okay. 208 00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:09,549 - How do you like the act so far, folks? - 209 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:10,633 I haven't done anything. 210 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,886 Excuse me, I'm sorry. 211 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,345 - I'll just set this up. - Oh, okay. 212 00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:15,929 This is how the first one goes. 213 00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:18,266 Now, let's see. 214 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,777 Now wait. 215 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:32,030 - [Edie] Very good so far. - [Ricky] Yeah, good. 216 00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,198 All right. Now, then. 217 00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:41,623 Wait, here's another one. 218 00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:49,672 Watch this. 219 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:53,051 I'll just put this here. Yep. 220 00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:54,469 [Edie] Beautiful. 221 00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:59,099 - Now... ...there. - [Edie] He's drawing our family. 222 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,234 [Ernie] Takes a little time, but it's worth it. 223 00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:25,667 Thanks, thanks for the ice. 224 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,965 - Oh, that was wonderful. - That was very good. 225 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:33,466 Yeah. 226 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:36,636 Oh, uh, how about, uh, a song? 227 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,179 - Somebody sing a song. - [Lucy] Yeah, let's have a song. 228 00:10:39,179 --> 00:10:41,057 [Ernie] Well, Edie, I guess you're on. 229 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,809 You just have to bring your music. 230 00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:46,354 Oh, but I can't sing. I don't have any accompaniment. 231 00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:48,606 - Does anybody play the piano? - I do. 232 00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:50,232 [Edie] Oh, oh, all right. 233 00:10:57,030 --> 00:10:59,284 I don't know how good a voice we are tonight, but... 234 00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:01,535 Ha! 235 00:11:01,535 --> 00:11:03,037 All right, Ethel? 236 00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:13,131 ♪ I can only give you love That lasts forever ♪ 237 00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:20,179 ♪ And the promise to be near Each time you call ♪ 238 00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:25,602 ♪ And the only heart I own ♪ 239 00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:29,522 ♪ For you and you alone ♪ 240 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:34,694 ♪ That's all, that's all ♪ 241 00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:41,743 ♪ I can only give you Country walks in springtime ♪ 242 00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:49,375 ♪ And a hand to hold When leaves begin to fall ♪ 243 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:54,005 ♪ And a love whose burning light ♪ 244 00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:58,426 ♪ Will warm the winter night ♪ 245 00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:03,598 ♪ That's all, that's all ♪ 246 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:08,061 ♪ There are those, I am sure ♪ 247 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,772 ♪ Who have told you ♪ 248 00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:16,110 ♪ They would give you The world for a toy ♪ 249 00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:21,324 ♪ All I have are these arms ♪ 250 00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:24,118 ♪ To enfold you ♪ 251 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,497 ♪ And a love ♪ 252 00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:34,420 ♪ Time can never destroy ♪ 253 00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:39,509 ♪ If you're wondering ♪ 254 00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:43,888 ♪ What I'm asking in return, dear ♪ 255 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:51,604 ♪ You'll be glad to know That my demands are small ♪ 256 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:56,401 ♪ Say it's me that you adore ♪ 257 00:12:56,401 --> 00:13:01,739 ♪ For now and evermore ♪ 258 00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:06,953 ♪ That's all, that's all ♪ 259 00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:12,583 ♪ I love you ♪ 260 00:13:13,208 --> 00:13:20,008 ♪ Yes, I love you ♪ 261 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:28,474 ♪ That's all ♪ 262 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:32,227 Bravo! Bravo! 263 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,857 [Ricky] Ah, she sings a great song. That was beautiful, honey. 264 00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:37,900 [Edie] Oh, thank you. 265 00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:42,739 Oh, um, how about someone from some other family? 266 00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,824 Yeah, there's a lot of talent around here. 267 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,576 Well, if you insist. 268 00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:52,498 ♪ Come to me, my melancholy baby... ♪ 269 00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:54,583 Fred. Fred. 270 00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:55,835 ♪ Cuddle up and don't... ♪ 271 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:56,919 Fred. 272 00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,796 When I said someone from some other family, 273 00:13:58,796 --> 00:13:59,922 I wasn't thinking of you. 274 00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:00,965 Sit down. 275 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,635 - Good night, Mommy. - Oh, good night, dear. 276 00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:06,636 - Good night, Daddy. - [Ricky] Good night, Son. 277 00:14:06,636 --> 00:14:07,804 Good night, everybody. 278 00:14:07,804 --> 00:14:09,891 - 'Night, son. - [Ethel] Good night, dear. 279 00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:13,852 There, let's see, now, where were we? 280 00:14:13,852 --> 00:14:17,732 Oh, yes, um, how about someone from the Ricardo family? 281 00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:20,526 [Lucy] Oh, boy, that's a good idea. 282 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:24,155 Oh, that's right. Kippie told me how beautifully your son plays the drums. 283 00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:25,239 [Ernie] Oh, does he? 284 00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:26,532 - Yes. - I'd love to hear him. 285 00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:27,617 Oh, Son? 286 00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:29,369 I'd love to. 287 00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,829 Then come on down. 288 00:14:33,748 --> 00:14:36,459 Not only does he play good, but he's a ham, too. 289 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,826 Would you like an encore? 290 00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:12,620 No, no. You go on up to bed, go on. 291 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,872 - Good night, dear. - Good night, honey. 292 00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:17,208 - You go right to bed now. - [Ricky] Good night, partner. 293 00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:20,878 Uh, let's see now. 294 00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:23,131 There must be someone we haven't heard from. 295 00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:24,799 Yes, there certainly is. 296 00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:30,388 Ooh, but I've got a big day tomorrow. 297 00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:32,557 B-B-But, but it's only five past 10:00. 298 00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:35,977 I know, but, uh, I'm holding auditions for my new television show in the morning. 299 00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:37,812 I've got to get into New York pretty early. 300 00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:39,814 Oh, we're sorry, it's been a wonderful time tonight. 301 00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:41,190 [Ricky] Glad to have you with us. 302 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,192 - I'm sorry you have to go so early. - It was nice. 303 00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:45,987 He has to get up early. 304 00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:47,947 - You know how it is. - I understand. 305 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,949 Perhaps we could get together next week. 306 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,618 - I enjoyed having you over here tonight. - Maybe the week after might be-- 307 00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:54,495 Oh, not next-- Well ... 308 00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,581 Hey, maybe we can play golf next week, Ernie. 309 00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:58,207 - Yeah. Great, great, Rick. - Okay. 310 00:15:58,207 --> 00:15:59,959 - Good night. - [Ernie] Good night. 311 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,043 Good night. 312 00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:03,296 Sure nice people, aren't they? 313 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,840 - Yeah. - He's a funny guy. 314 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,634 Well, it's past my bedtime. I'm going to hit the hay. 315 00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:09,886 You run along. I'll help Lucy. 316 00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:11,012 - Good night. - Good night, Bing. 317 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,226 - Good night, Fred. - 'Night. 318 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,811 Good night, Fred. 319 00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:23,024 I'm tired, too. I think I'll go to bed. 320 00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:24,025 Okay, dear. 321 00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:26,652 - Good night, Ethel. - Good night, Ricky. 322 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,156 - Good night, sweetheart. - Good night. 323 00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,328 I hope you sleep well. 324 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,787 Pleasant dreams. 325 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,790 What's the matter with you? Can't you do anything right? 326 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:41,751 Well, if you don't like the way I was handling things-- 327 00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:43,586 - - When I ask you to do something, 328 00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,296 why don't you try to do it the way I ask you? 329 00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:48,132 Hello? 330 00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:49,884 Lucy, Ernie Kovacs calling. 331 00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:52,178 Ernie, don't tell me you're home already? 332 00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,804 No, no, no, I'm calling from the car. 333 00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,806 Listen, I just had a thought that was so exciting, 334 00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:56,807 I couldn't wait to call. 335 00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,144 How do you think Ricky would feel about appearing on my television show? 336 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,523 Are you kidding? 337 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,398 He'd love it! Hold on a minute. 338 00:17:05,398 --> 00:17:07,484 Ricky! Ricky! 339 00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:11,656 - What's the matter? - It's Ernie Kovacs. 340 00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:13,782 He wants you to be on his new television show. 341 00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:17,244 You get the details, I'll get my pants. 342 00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:20,830 When do you want him, Ernie? 343 00:17:20,830 --> 00:17:22,124 Sometime next week. 344 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,876 Next week? Oh, wonderful. 345 00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:26,128 Bring him into the office Monday, 346 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,588 right after he gets out of school. 347 00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:29,840 Yeah, okay, I'll bring him around right after he... 348 00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:34,554 Uh, oh. Oh, uh... 349 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:35,763 He'll be there. 350 00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:38,099 Lucy, that son of yours is going to be a star. 351 00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:42,311 I'm glad you think so, Ernie. Goodbye. 352 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,311 Bye-bye. 353 00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:47,942 What did I tell you? 354 00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:51,237 I don't have to audition to get a job for a television show. 355 00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:53,406 - Didn't I tell you that, huh? - That's wonderful, Ricky. 356 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,491 Yeah, that's what you said all right, honey. 357 00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:57,410 I'm going to get Fred. This calls for a celebration! 358 00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,203 Yeah, go get him. Hurry back, Ricky, huh? 359 00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,455 - [Ethel] A big celebration. - [Ricky] All right. 360 00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:03,874 Oh, Lucy, isn't this great? 361 00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:05,542 Yeah, great. 362 00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:09,714 What's the matter with you? 363 00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:13,301 I thought it was Big Ricky that Ernie wanted, 364 00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:14,677 and it's Little Ricky. 365 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,471 Oh, Lucy. 366 00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:20,141 Oh, how are you going to tell him? 367 00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:22,143 Oh, I'll never be able to tell him. 368 00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:27,940 Look, maybe if I tell Ernie that the two Rickys do an act together, 369 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,026 then maybe he'd hire both of them. 370 00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:32,236 I'll go over and talk to Ernie the first thing in the morning. 371 00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:33,904 Oh, gee, honey, I hope it works. 372 00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:36,240 - How about it? - Come on! 373 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,826 Come on, gang. Champagne's on me! 374 00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,411 - [Ricky] I'll get the glasses. - [Fred] Right. 375 00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:41,494 Fred, where did you get that? 376 00:18:41,494 --> 00:18:43,372 Somebody gave it to us for our wedding, 377 00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,541 and I've been saving it for a happy occasion. 378 00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:47,501 But that was 25 years ago. 379 00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:51,213 I knew if we waited long enough, we'd find something to be happy about. 380 00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:54,967 - Here, give me. Give me that. - You do it. 381 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,053 - I'm an expert. Come on, baby. - You do it, Rick. 382 00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:07,980 - Hi, Edie. - Oh, hi, Lucy. 383 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,898 I'm sorry to bother you so early in the morning, 384 00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:11,233 but I'd like to talk to Ernie. 385 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,443 So would I. 386 00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:16,113 But nobody talks to Ernie before coffee. 387 00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:17,865 Unless you have two heads 388 00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:20,034 and you don't mind having one of them bitten off. 389 00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:22,662 Oh. When is he having his coffee? 390 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:25,955 He isn't. He's in such a foul mood this morning, he's skipping it. 391 00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:28,792 Well, I've just got to talk to him before he leaves. 392 00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:31,504 Oh, Lucy, you couldn't have picked a worse morning. 393 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,172 The plumbing's on the fritz again, 394 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:36,300 and he's in the kitchen with the tea kettle, shaving. 395 00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:38,552 Oh, well, I just gotta take a chance. 396 00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:39,762 I must warn you, 397 00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:42,431 he'll probably growl at you like a mad dog. 398 00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:44,809 Oh, nobody can be that bad. 399 00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:47,853 Maybe not, but I hope you carry a bone in your purse. 400 00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:55,486 Ernie? 401 00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,160 Mr. Kovacs? 402 00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:07,580 - Mr. Kovacs. - 403 00:20:07,580 --> 00:20:12,211 Oh, I'm terribly sorry to barge in on you like this, 404 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:14,046 especially before you've had your coffee, 405 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,882 but this is terribly important, and I ... 406 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:19,719 Mr-- 407 00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:22,471 Mr. Kovacs, I just must talk to you. 408 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,559 Mr. Kovacs. 409 00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:30,020 Look, Mr. Kovacs. 410 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:34,316 I-I-I'm delighted that Little Ricky is going to be on your program, 411 00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:35,693 and I know that he's going to do 412 00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:37,611 - a wonderful job for you. - Sheesh. 413 00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:43,826 You see, there's-- there's just one little thing 414 00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:45,244 that I'd like to discuss with you. 415 00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:48,705 You see, my husband Ricky, although he's doing very well in business, 416 00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:51,292 - and he's very successful-- - May I have the cream, please? 417 00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:55,212 Oh, I thought maybe the cat had your tongue. 418 00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:58,007 - You see, my husband, even-- - The cream. 419 00:20:58,007 --> 00:20:59,759 - What? - The cream, back of you. 420 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,386 Oh. Oh. 421 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,263 This is the same kind of cream that Ricky uses. 422 00:21:05,263 --> 00:21:06,807 I'll shake it for you. 423 00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:08,267 Listen, now, uh, 424 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:11,061 Ernie, what I wanted to discuss with you is this. 425 00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:13,522 I'm delighted that Little Ricky is going to be on your program, 426 00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,523 and I know he's going to do a wonderful job for you, 427 00:21:15,523 --> 00:21:16,901 - but you see, my husband-- - That's enough. 428 00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:18,861 Enough! I haven't even started yet. 429 00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:20,279 - No, shaking the cream. - My husband-- 430 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,615 Oh! Oh, for heaven's sakes. 431 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,657 Let's see now, where was I? 432 00:21:24,657 --> 00:21:26,035 - - Oh! 433 00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:31,916 - I guess maybe I shook it too much. - Yeah. 434 00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:34,376 - I'm sorry. - Towel, please. 435 00:21:34,376 --> 00:21:35,461 - Hmm? - Towel! 436 00:21:35,461 --> 00:21:37,463 Towel. Yeah. 437 00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:39,048 Uh. Oh, here you are. 438 00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:43,803 I'm terribly sorry. I had no idea. 439 00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:49,809 I have never had occasion to shake Ricky's can like that... 440 00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:50,893 I, uh... 441 00:21:52,061 --> 00:21:54,897 Well, now, that's probably the shirt you were going to wear, huh? 442 00:21:54,897 --> 00:21:56,315 - Yes. - I'm sorry. 443 00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:59,609 - Would you please leave? - I-I thought that it was a towel. 444 00:21:59,609 --> 00:22:00,945 - What? - Would you please leave? 445 00:22:00,945 --> 00:22:02,112 Well, I-I did want to... 446 00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:03,446 - Out! - ...about my husband! 447 00:22:03,446 --> 00:22:05,699 I, uh-- Could I fix you some coffee? 448 00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:07,409 Out! Out! 449 00:22:33,602 --> 00:22:34,603 My purse. 450 00:22:50,244 --> 00:22:51,704 He just wouldn't listen. 451 00:22:52,663 --> 00:22:54,330 Anyway, one thing led to another, 452 00:22:54,330 --> 00:22:55,749 and all of a sudden... 453 00:22:56,750 --> 00:22:58,460 He tried to cut your throat? 454 00:22:58,460 --> 00:23:00,212 - He almost cut his. - 455 00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:01,380 - - Oh, dear. 456 00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:03,965 Quiet. Ricky's still upstairs asleep. 457 00:23:03,965 --> 00:23:05,718 He was up half the night celebrating. 458 00:23:07,261 --> 00:23:09,513 Poor guy. How are you going to break the news to him? 459 00:23:09,513 --> 00:23:10,598 I don't know. 460 00:23:10,598 --> 00:23:12,391 I'll never be able to tell him 461 00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:15,185 that Ernie would rather hire Little Ricky and not him. 462 00:23:15,185 --> 00:23:16,436 [Ethel] Oh, dear. 463 00:23:18,772 --> 00:23:21,025 - Wha-- - 464 00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:23,027 I heard everythin'. 465 00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:24,904 Everythin'? 466 00:23:25,571 --> 00:23:27,448 I knew it. 467 00:23:27,448 --> 00:23:30,367 I'm through. Finished. 468 00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:31,869 Oh, now, honey. 469 00:23:34,872 --> 00:23:38,042 I will be known as the father of Ricky Ricardo Junior. 470 00:23:40,669 --> 00:23:42,963 Oh, now, dear, remember what you always say. 471 00:23:42,963 --> 00:23:45,299 There's no business like show business. 472 00:23:46,175 --> 00:23:49,553 Where I really belong is on my uncle's tobacco plantation 473 00:23:49,553 --> 00:23:50,638 in Cuba. 474 00:23:57,853 --> 00:24:00,814 There he goes, back to Cuba again. 475 00:24:01,398 --> 00:24:02,523 The way he keeps saying that, 476 00:24:02,523 --> 00:24:05,319 you'd think when he first came over here, he'd bought a round-trip ticket. 477 00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:16,580 Oh, good morning, Crandall. 478 00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:18,165 Good morning, Mrs. Ricardo. 479 00:24:18,165 --> 00:24:19,375 Your purse. 480 00:24:19,375 --> 00:24:21,001 Oh. Oh, thank you. 481 00:24:21,752 --> 00:24:22,962 I'm always misplacing it. 482 00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:26,548 Mr. Kovacs asked me to come in and get the cigar case he left here last night. 483 00:24:26,548 --> 00:24:27,883 Oh. 484 00:24:27,883 --> 00:24:30,135 He said he left it on the coffee table. 485 00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:33,222 Oh, well, you don't have to wait, Crandall. 486 00:24:33,222 --> 00:24:34,932 I'll get it and bring it out to Mr. Kovacs. 487 00:24:34,932 --> 00:24:37,977 I'm sorry, Mrs. Ricardo, Mr. Kovacs gave me strict orders 488 00:24:37,977 --> 00:24:40,854 I was to bring the cigar case out personally. 489 00:24:44,023 --> 00:24:45,109 Oh. 490 00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:46,859 Oh, all right. 491 00:24:54,243 --> 00:24:55,369 It's empty. 492 00:24:56,203 --> 00:24:58,455 I think I'll give Mr. Kovacs a little present. 493 00:25:05,212 --> 00:25:06,296 There. 494 00:25:06,296 --> 00:25:08,757 Would you give that to Mr. Kovacs with my compliments. 495 00:25:08,757 --> 00:25:09,758 Thank you. 496 00:25:13,220 --> 00:25:15,180 I haven't given up on him yet. 497 00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:16,807 Good thinking, girl. 498 00:25:16,807 --> 00:25:18,934 Maybe a good cigar will get him to forgive me. 499 00:25:19,643 --> 00:25:21,936 - Good morning. - [Lucy] Oh, good morning, dear. 500 00:25:21,936 --> 00:25:23,022 Your breakfast is ready. 501 00:25:23,022 --> 00:25:25,148 - Okay, Mommy. - Don't go away, Ethel. 502 00:25:25,148 --> 00:25:27,693 - Oh, boy! - Oh, boy, what? 503 00:25:27,693 --> 00:25:30,529 Daddy must have taken the exploding cigars I put in here. 504 00:25:30,529 --> 00:25:32,531 Exploding cigars? 505 00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:34,366 Oh, no! 506 00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:35,659 Oh, no! 507 00:25:36,702 --> 00:25:38,119 Ernie! 508 00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:39,371 Ernie! 509 00:25:39,371 --> 00:25:40,873 Ernie, don't! 510 00:25:41,749 --> 00:25:43,083 - - 511 00:25:53,052 --> 00:25:54,303 Don't what? 512 00:25:56,888 --> 00:25:58,474 Don't light your cigar. 513 00:26:00,434 --> 00:26:02,061 Thanks for warning me. 514 00:26:03,479 --> 00:26:04,563 You're welcome. 515 00:26:40,557 --> 00:26:41,850 Here are your groceries. 516 00:26:41,850 --> 00:26:43,018 Thanks, Ethel. 517 00:26:46,605 --> 00:26:47,773 What are you doing? 518 00:26:49,900 --> 00:26:52,611 Ricky wrote a letter to his uncle Carlos in Cuba 519 00:26:52,611 --> 00:26:54,154 and asked me to mail it. 520 00:26:54,154 --> 00:26:55,989 Did he also ask you to knit it? 521 00:26:57,366 --> 00:26:58,659 I want to read it. 522 00:26:58,659 --> 00:27:01,119 This has replaced the old-fashioned steam method. 523 00:27:13,340 --> 00:27:16,552 I wonder if J. Edgar Hoover knows about this. 524 00:27:20,097 --> 00:27:22,766 Where did you ever learn to do that? 525 00:27:22,766 --> 00:27:25,352 I saw someone do it in an Alfred Hitchcock movie. 526 00:27:26,936 --> 00:27:28,272 A spy? 527 00:27:28,272 --> 00:27:31,150 No, a housewife. 528 00:27:34,611 --> 00:27:36,405 "My dear Uncle Carlos, 529 00:27:36,405 --> 00:27:38,907 forgive me for writing in English, 530 00:27:38,907 --> 00:27:42,661 but it has been so long since I have written in Spanish 531 00:27:42,661 --> 00:27:44,204 that it is much..." 532 00:27:45,247 --> 00:27:46,957 Ethel, can you make this word out? 533 00:27:46,957 --> 00:27:49,167 I have more trouble reading Ricky's handwriting. 534 00:27:49,167 --> 00:27:54,548 It looks like I-Z-Z-Y-E-R. 535 00:27:55,715 --> 00:27:57,176 Oh, "izzyer." 536 00:27:57,176 --> 00:28:00,179 "It is much easier to write in English." 537 00:28:00,179 --> 00:28:02,931 - Oh. - He writes worse than he talks. 538 00:28:02,931 --> 00:28:05,058 "You were right, Uncle Carlos. 539 00:28:05,058 --> 00:28:10,564 Anyone who goes into show business is loco de la cabeza." 540 00:28:10,564 --> 00:28:11,940 That means crazy in the head. 541 00:28:11,940 --> 00:28:12,941 I know. 542 00:28:15,319 --> 00:28:20,115 "If your offer to let me run your tobacco plantation is still open, 543 00:28:20,115 --> 00:28:22,326 I am ready to move back to Cuba." 544 00:28:22,326 --> 00:28:25,204 "Your loving nephew, Enrique." 545 00:28:25,204 --> 00:28:27,705 Oh, Lucy, I'll never see you again. 546 00:28:27,705 --> 00:28:31,167 Oh, now, Ethel, I have no intention of moving to Cuba. 547 00:28:31,167 --> 00:28:33,045 How are you going to avoid it? 548 00:28:33,045 --> 00:28:36,798 By making one last stab at trying to talk to Ernie Kovacs. 549 00:28:36,798 --> 00:28:39,301 If you think he'll listen to you after what you did you him, 550 00:28:39,301 --> 00:28:41,386 you're loco and you're cabeza. 551 00:28:41,386 --> 00:28:43,138 Well, I've got to try. 552 00:28:43,138 --> 00:28:44,681 Look, in the first place, 553 00:28:44,681 --> 00:28:47,476 deep down, Ricky really loves show business. 554 00:28:47,476 --> 00:28:49,561 In the second place, this is our home. 555 00:28:49,561 --> 00:28:52,940 In the third place, can you imagine Little Ricky on a tobacco plantation 556 00:28:52,940 --> 00:28:54,983 raising exploding cigars? 557 00:28:55,859 --> 00:28:58,278 - Come on, Ethel, make yourself useful. - How? 558 00:28:58,278 --> 00:29:01,031 While I'm over at the Kovacs', trying to talk to Ernie, 559 00:29:01,031 --> 00:29:04,117 you figure out how to sneak this back into the envelope. 560 00:29:07,079 --> 00:29:08,997 But I never saw that movie. 561 00:29:13,919 --> 00:29:15,337 Yes? 562 00:29:15,337 --> 00:29:17,089 Edie, it's Lucy. 563 00:29:17,089 --> 00:29:18,632 Is Ernie home? 564 00:29:18,632 --> 00:29:20,717 No. Come on in. 565 00:29:23,553 --> 00:29:25,973 - Hi. - Hi. Want some coffee? 566 00:29:25,973 --> 00:29:26,974 No, thanks. 567 00:29:28,100 --> 00:29:29,851 Oh, well, what's on your mind, Lucy? 568 00:29:31,436 --> 00:29:34,147 Uh, how can I get in touch with Ernie? I just gotta talk to him. 569 00:29:34,147 --> 00:29:38,068 Well, somehow, I have the feeling that Ernie doesn't want to talk to you. 570 00:29:38,068 --> 00:29:40,404 Yeah, I guess he must be pretty angry. 571 00:29:40,404 --> 00:29:43,448 No, as matter of fact, he was quite calm. 572 00:29:43,448 --> 00:29:44,950 When he left the house this morning, 573 00:29:44,950 --> 00:29:46,702 he kissed me goodbye and he said, 574 00:29:46,702 --> 00:29:49,538 "Darling, if I ever see that Ricardo woman again, 575 00:29:49,538 --> 00:29:50,872 I'll kill her." 576 00:29:51,498 --> 00:29:52,749 Oh, dear. 577 00:29:53,583 --> 00:29:56,837 I didn't know that cigar was an exploding cigar. 578 00:29:56,837 --> 00:29:58,463 Almost blew off his mustache. 579 00:29:58,463 --> 00:30:00,215 Oh, my gosh. 580 00:30:00,215 --> 00:30:01,300 [Edie] But it's all right. 581 00:30:01,300 --> 00:30:04,177 He's touching up the bare spots with black shoe polish. 582 00:30:05,470 --> 00:30:07,639 Look, I'll do anything, I'll apologize to him, 583 00:30:07,639 --> 00:30:09,099 but I've just got to talk to him. 584 00:30:09,099 --> 00:30:11,393 Well, Ernie won't be home until Monday, 585 00:30:11,393 --> 00:30:13,478 but maybe by then he'll be all cooled off. 586 00:30:13,478 --> 00:30:14,730 Oh, I hope so. 587 00:30:14,730 --> 00:30:17,524 You see, Ricky and Little Ricky do an act together, 588 00:30:17,524 --> 00:30:19,943 and I've just got to have Ernie hire both of them. 589 00:30:19,943 --> 00:30:23,447 Oh, dear, but Ernie's spending the weekend upstate 590 00:30:23,447 --> 00:30:25,115 at his sponsor's country club. 591 00:30:25,115 --> 00:30:28,201 They're doing the final casting for the show. 592 00:30:28,201 --> 00:30:31,913 Oh, Edie, then Monday will be too late. 593 00:30:31,913 --> 00:30:34,666 Oh, now, Lucy, it can't be that bad. 594 00:30:36,335 --> 00:30:37,961 Yes, it is. 595 00:30:37,961 --> 00:30:39,629 If Ricky doesn't get this job, 596 00:30:39,629 --> 00:30:42,632 he's taking the whole family, and he's quitting show business, 597 00:30:42,632 --> 00:30:46,678 and he's moving us all down to a tobacco plantation in Cuba. 598 00:30:46,678 --> 00:30:48,638 Well, that sounds pretty drastic. 599 00:30:50,932 --> 00:30:55,479 If it takes me as long to learn Spanish as it took Ricky to learn English, 600 00:30:55,479 --> 00:30:59,232 I'll-- I'll-- I won't have anybody to talk to the rest of my life. 601 00:31:00,442 --> 00:31:04,279 Lucy, I know just how you feel. 602 00:31:04,279 --> 00:31:08,033 - Why, did you ever live in Cuba? - No. 603 00:31:09,659 --> 00:31:13,705 But being married to Ernie is like living on a tobacco plantation. 604 00:31:19,044 --> 00:31:20,670 Oh, you poor thing. 605 00:31:20,670 --> 00:31:24,257 And all these years you've been suffering silently. 606 00:31:24,257 --> 00:31:28,178 What we wives don't go through for our husbands. 607 00:31:34,434 --> 00:31:39,815 You know, it certainly is nice being able to talk to you like this, Edie. 608 00:31:39,815 --> 00:31:43,402 Oh, and it's nice being able to talk to you. 609 00:31:44,486 --> 00:31:45,737 Pardon the interruption, madam. 610 00:31:45,737 --> 00:31:48,240 I'm just about to leave for the station to pick up Mr. Kovacs 611 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:49,908 and take him to the country club. 612 00:31:49,908 --> 00:31:51,743 I should be back about midnight. 613 00:31:51,743 --> 00:31:53,578 Is there anything I can do before I go? 614 00:31:53,578 --> 00:31:55,872 Uh, no, thank you, Crandall. 615 00:31:55,872 --> 00:31:58,041 I'll get Mr. Kovacs's luggage and put it in the car. 616 00:31:58,041 --> 00:31:59,376 Oh, fine. 617 00:32:00,877 --> 00:32:05,924 Edie, did Crandall say he was picking Ernie up at the station? 618 00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:07,134 Mm-hmm. 619 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:12,013 Gee, if I could just get to talk to Ernie in the car, 620 00:32:12,013 --> 00:32:14,933 I know I could convince him to hire Ricky. 621 00:32:14,933 --> 00:32:17,185 What makes you think he'll let you in the car? 622 00:32:19,271 --> 00:32:21,857 How would Crandall like the weekend off? 623 00:32:21,857 --> 00:32:23,567 Oh, he'd love it, but... 624 00:32:40,750 --> 00:32:41,793 Madam. 625 00:32:44,296 --> 00:32:45,922 Thank you, Crandall, for the ride. 626 00:32:45,922 --> 00:32:47,007 It's quite all right. 627 00:32:48,425 --> 00:32:50,635 - [Ethel] Lucy, you look wonderful. - Thanks, Ethel. 628 00:32:50,635 --> 00:32:53,054 Yeah, you ought to grow a mustache. 629 00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:54,890 Very funny. 630 00:32:54,890 --> 00:32:55,974 Hey, now, don't forget. 631 00:32:55,974 --> 00:32:57,893 You're gonna have Little Ricky over for dinner tonight. 632 00:32:57,893 --> 00:33:00,061 Uh, right, and I'm supposed to ask Big Ricky over, too. 633 00:33:00,061 --> 00:33:01,980 Yeah, and I'm supposed to be at the PTA meeting. 634 00:33:01,980 --> 00:33:03,064 - Gotcha. - Okay. 635 00:33:03,690 --> 00:33:06,735 The Supreme Allied Command had less complicated plans 636 00:33:06,735 --> 00:33:08,195 when they invaded the continent. 637 00:33:09,446 --> 00:33:12,866 Look, Fred, all you have to do is keep quiet in front of Ricky. 638 00:33:12,866 --> 00:33:14,284 Yes, Fred. 639 00:33:14,284 --> 00:33:15,368 Well, let's go home. 640 00:33:15,368 --> 00:33:18,497 Home? What did we come all the way down here for? 641 00:33:18,497 --> 00:33:20,415 Because all my life, I've wanted to ride 642 00:33:20,415 --> 00:33:22,834 in a great big limousine driven by a chauffeur. 643 00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:25,170 Oh, for corn's sake. 644 00:33:25,170 --> 00:33:26,713 How are we supposed to get home? 645 00:33:26,713 --> 00:33:28,131 In a taxi. 646 00:33:28,131 --> 00:33:30,008 You had your dream for today, Ethel. 647 00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:31,384 We're walking. 648 00:33:38,767 --> 00:33:40,977 He's got no class. 649 00:33:46,691 --> 00:33:47,776 Hi, Crandall. 650 00:33:47,776 --> 00:33:49,778 How do you do? 651 00:33:49,778 --> 00:33:50,862 How are things, what's new? 652 00:33:52,447 --> 00:33:54,241 Not very much, actually. 653 00:33:55,033 --> 00:33:57,577 You know, Crandall, your voice sounds different. 654 00:33:57,577 --> 00:33:58,703 Oh? 655 00:33:58,703 --> 00:34:00,288 What's the matter, you got a cold? 656 00:34:00,288 --> 00:34:04,042 Uh, yes, as a matter of fact, I have a beastly cold. 657 00:34:04,042 --> 00:34:05,210 Why don't you see a doctor? 658 00:34:05,210 --> 00:34:08,338 Oh, did that, you know, did that. 659 00:34:08,338 --> 00:34:10,047 He says I'm full of germs. 660 00:34:10,047 --> 00:34:12,259 Nasty, contagious germs. 661 00:34:14,427 --> 00:34:16,137 See you around, Crandall. 662 00:34:16,137 --> 00:34:17,180 Cheerio. 663 00:34:51,297 --> 00:34:52,924 Never mind, Crandall, I'll get it. 664 00:34:52,924 --> 00:34:54,467 Yeah, thank you. 665 00:35:06,104 --> 00:35:07,897 You sure it's all right for me to come along now? 666 00:35:07,897 --> 00:35:10,692 Oh, sure. Besides, I'm very anxious for you to meet my sponsor. 667 00:35:10,692 --> 00:35:12,235 Yeah, I'd love to meet him. 668 00:35:12,235 --> 00:35:14,487 Say, listen, instead of driving back with Crandall tonight, 669 00:35:14,487 --> 00:35:16,781 why don't you stay for the weekend? I've got plenty of clothes. 670 00:35:16,781 --> 00:35:21,369 Thanks. I was sure lucky to bump into you on that train. 671 00:35:21,369 --> 00:35:23,663 Yeah, I didn't know that you and Little Ricky did an act together. 672 00:35:23,663 --> 00:35:25,623 I wouldn't have waited till now to sign you for the show. 673 00:35:25,623 --> 00:35:28,585 [Ricky laughs] Well, that's very nice of you, Ernie. 674 00:35:28,585 --> 00:35:30,587 And listen, don't you worry about Lucy. 675 00:35:30,587 --> 00:35:33,131 I guarantee you she will never come near you again. 676 00:35:33,131 --> 00:35:35,967 [Ernie] Well, I don't mean to be a villain, Ricky. 677 00:35:35,967 --> 00:35:38,136 Uh, Lucy's a lovely woman. 678 00:35:38,136 --> 00:35:40,180 And a wonderful, wonderful wife. 679 00:35:40,180 --> 00:35:42,306 Yeah, but sometimes she acts a little, uh ... 680 00:35:43,058 --> 00:35:46,770 Yeah, uh, poquito loco de la cabeza. 681 00:35:49,564 --> 00:35:51,775 That's Spanish for a little crazy in the head. 682 00:35:51,775 --> 00:35:52,984 Well, I wouldn't say that. 683 00:35:52,984 --> 00:35:54,777 Why, don't you agree with me? 684 00:35:54,777 --> 00:35:56,905 Yeah, but I can't speak Spanish. 685 00:36:01,076 --> 00:36:02,786 Well, I'll tell you, I'll make you a deal. 686 00:36:02,786 --> 00:36:03,870 [Ernie] Yeah? 687 00:36:03,870 --> 00:36:06,373 [Ricky] If Lucy comes near you one more time, 688 00:36:06,373 --> 00:36:08,875 you can fire both Little Ricky and me. 689 00:36:08,875 --> 00:36:11,378 Oh, you don't have to go that, uh ... 690 00:36:11,378 --> 00:36:13,171 No, you wouldn't have to, uh... 691 00:36:14,130 --> 00:36:15,632 You got a deal. 692 00:36:18,677 --> 00:36:19,928 Ah, I bet she's gonna be happy 693 00:36:19,928 --> 00:36:21,513 when she hears that I'm going to do the show 694 00:36:21,513 --> 00:36:22,931 with you and Little Ricky, though. 695 00:36:22,931 --> 00:36:24,015 Why don't you call her? 696 00:36:24,015 --> 00:36:25,892 I-I tried calling from the station, but nobody's home. 697 00:36:27,352 --> 00:36:28,687 A wife's like a policeman. 698 00:36:28,687 --> 00:36:30,397 Whenever you want them, you can't find them. 699 00:36:30,397 --> 00:36:33,650 Look, I'll call Edie and, uh, tell her to give Lucy the news 700 00:36:33,650 --> 00:36:35,527 and tell her you won't be home for the weekend. 701 00:36:35,527 --> 00:36:36,527 [Ricky] Oh, good. 702 00:36:38,154 --> 00:36:39,447 [Ernie] Mobile operator. 703 00:36:39,447 --> 00:36:40,864 Hey, Crandall. 704 00:36:41,658 --> 00:36:46,830 Uh, naturally, all this talk about my wife being a little peculiar, 705 00:36:47,831 --> 00:36:50,166 let's just keep it between the three of us, huh? 706 00:36:53,503 --> 00:36:56,256 Edie, it's Ernie, I'm calling from the car. 707 00:36:56,256 --> 00:36:58,299 Listen, I bumped into Ricky Ricardo, 708 00:36:58,299 --> 00:36:59,843 and he's going to do my show with me. 709 00:36:59,843 --> 00:37:01,761 Yeah, he and his little boy do an act together. 710 00:37:01,761 --> 00:37:03,847 Well, then, Lucy didn't have to talk to you at all 711 00:37:03,847 --> 00:37:05,431 about getting a job for Ricky. 712 00:37:06,181 --> 00:37:07,267 No. 713 00:37:07,267 --> 00:37:09,518 Oh, what a shame. 714 00:37:09,518 --> 00:37:11,271 And she went to all that trouble 715 00:37:11,271 --> 00:37:13,815 dressing up like Crandall for nothing. 716 00:37:24,659 --> 00:37:26,161 Yeah, well, um... 717 00:37:27,328 --> 00:37:31,207 Yeah, well, you, uh, you call Lucy and, uh, tell her the news 718 00:37:31,207 --> 00:37:32,959 and tell her that Ricky won't be home till Monday. 719 00:37:36,421 --> 00:37:37,881 Lucy's right there in the-- 720 00:37:38,672 --> 00:37:39,924 Did you hear what I just said? 721 00:37:39,924 --> 00:37:41,259 Yeah, that's right, darling. 722 00:37:41,259 --> 00:37:42,510 Bye-bye. 723 00:37:47,015 --> 00:37:50,685 Oh, uh, Crandall, the motor sounds a little strange to me. 724 00:37:50,685 --> 00:37:52,645 You'd better stop and look under the hood. 725 00:38:05,116 --> 00:38:07,243 Motor sounded fine to me. 726 00:38:07,243 --> 00:38:08,786 There's nothing wrong with the motor. 727 00:38:09,286 --> 00:38:10,830 Take a look at Crandall. 728 00:38:15,835 --> 00:38:18,379 - Yeah? - Uh-huh, take a good look. 729 00:38:30,183 --> 00:38:32,310 Ay-ay-ay-ay. 730 00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:34,187 What is Lucy doing here? 731 00:38:34,187 --> 00:38:37,524 I guess she was going to try to talk to me about hiring you for the show. 732 00:38:40,026 --> 00:38:43,029 Well, a deal's a deal. 733 00:38:43,029 --> 00:38:44,656 I guess I'm fired before I start. 734 00:38:44,656 --> 00:38:46,491 Ah, forget it. You're still with the show. 735 00:38:48,618 --> 00:38:50,453 Well, that's very nice of you, Ernie. 736 00:38:57,460 --> 00:38:59,754 I got to teach that woman a lesson. 737 00:38:59,754 --> 00:39:01,922 She's only trying to-- trying to help, you know. 738 00:39:01,922 --> 00:39:03,508 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Trying to help me. 739 00:39:03,508 --> 00:39:05,218 Yeah, she was only trying to help me 740 00:39:05,218 --> 00:39:07,094 when she almost made you cut your throat. 741 00:39:07,094 --> 00:39:08,555 She was only trying to help me 742 00:39:08,555 --> 00:39:10,974 when she gave you a cigar that exploded in your face. 743 00:39:10,974 --> 00:39:12,642 If she doesn't stop trying to help me, 744 00:39:12,642 --> 00:39:14,227 you're gonna wind up in the hospital. 745 00:39:15,854 --> 00:39:17,438 Maybe you ought to teach her a lesson. 746 00:39:18,481 --> 00:39:20,440 You want to join the faculty? 747 00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:23,945 - Well... - We'll just have a little fun with her. 748 00:39:25,905 --> 00:39:27,239 Okay, professor. 749 00:39:39,127 --> 00:39:41,045 Find anything wrong with the motor, Crandall? 750 00:39:42,171 --> 00:39:43,381 No, sir. 751 00:39:43,965 --> 00:39:46,009 Sounded to me like the motor is missing. 752 00:39:46,009 --> 00:39:49,178 No, sir, it's not missing. It's still there. 753 00:39:51,806 --> 00:39:54,350 Uh, your voice sounds different, Crandall. 754 00:39:55,935 --> 00:39:57,353 I have a cold, sir. 755 00:39:58,187 --> 00:39:59,439 You didn't have it this morning. 756 00:40:00,732 --> 00:40:02,901 - No, sir. - When did you get it? 757 00:40:04,694 --> 00:40:07,655 Oh, just now, when I was looking at the motor, sir. 758 00:40:08,989 --> 00:40:11,659 Breeze from the fan, you know. 759 00:40:18,625 --> 00:40:21,753 Say, um, Ernie, this is, uh, quite a car. 760 00:40:21,753 --> 00:40:24,005 How many cylinders does she have? 761 00:40:24,547 --> 00:40:25,632 I don't know, Ricky. 762 00:40:25,632 --> 00:40:27,216 Uh, how many cylinders, Crandall? 763 00:40:33,389 --> 00:40:35,183 Cylinders? 764 00:40:36,434 --> 00:40:39,062 Yeah, Crandall, how many cylinders does she have? 765 00:40:41,397 --> 00:40:43,315 Would you like to hear some music, sir? 766 00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:46,819 No, no radio, Crandall. I don't want to hear any music. 767 00:40:46,819 --> 00:40:48,780 Well, how about the 7:00 news? 768 00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:49,989 It's only 6:00. 769 00:40:49,989 --> 00:40:51,699 Well, maybe it's on early. 770 00:41:05,630 --> 00:41:07,131 [Ernie] Get my luggage, Crandall. 771 00:41:07,715 --> 00:41:09,008 And don't forget the golf clubs. 772 00:41:09,008 --> 00:41:10,093 No, sir. 773 00:41:20,436 --> 00:41:21,729 Good evening, Mr. Kovacs. 774 00:41:21,729 --> 00:41:24,107 Mr. Allworth called and said he'd be delayed until morning. 775 00:41:24,107 --> 00:41:25,900 Well, that's the sponsor. 776 00:41:25,900 --> 00:41:27,694 - Well, you'll meet him tomorrow morning. - Sure. 777 00:41:27,694 --> 00:41:29,904 Gives us a little more time to have some fun with Crandall. 778 00:41:54,429 --> 00:41:56,639 - Here's your key, Mr. Kovacs. - Thanks. 779 00:42:29,422 --> 00:42:31,215 Where are you trying to get to, sir? 780 00:42:54,614 --> 00:42:55,864 Butterfingers. 781 00:42:56,616 --> 00:42:58,034 I'm sorry, sir. 782 00:42:58,034 --> 00:42:59,869 Goodbye, sir. See you Monday, sir. 783 00:42:59,869 --> 00:43:01,079 Hey, just a minute. 784 00:43:01,704 --> 00:43:05,166 Look, I-I know it's none of my business, but, uh, 785 00:43:05,166 --> 00:43:07,585 it doesn't seem quite fair to have Crandall 786 00:43:07,585 --> 00:43:10,088 drive all the way back this late at night. 787 00:43:10,797 --> 00:43:12,297 You're absolutely right. 788 00:43:12,297 --> 00:43:14,008 I've been a cad, Crandall. 789 00:43:15,051 --> 00:43:17,844 You'll stay here tonight and drive home in the morning. 790 00:43:17,844 --> 00:43:19,180 Um, thank you, sir, 791 00:43:19,180 --> 00:43:21,306 but I couldn't possibly stay overnight, sir. 792 00:43:21,306 --> 00:43:22,391 Why not? 793 00:43:22,391 --> 00:43:25,311 Um, I have a date, sir. 794 00:43:26,479 --> 00:43:28,272 - A date? - Yes, sir. 795 00:43:28,272 --> 00:43:30,942 You, a married man with six children? 796 00:43:34,402 --> 00:43:36,197 I have a date with my wife, sir. 797 00:43:36,864 --> 00:43:39,659 Oh, come now, Crandall. 798 00:43:40,201 --> 00:43:43,371 Don't tell me you have to make a date with your own wife. 799 00:43:45,790 --> 00:43:49,168 Ever since the sixth child, she's been very formal. 800 00:43:51,129 --> 00:43:52,964 Well, you'll have to forget it. 801 00:43:52,964 --> 00:43:55,133 You're going to stay here tonight, and that's an order. 802 00:43:55,716 --> 00:43:56,717 Yes, sir. 803 00:43:57,510 --> 00:43:59,512 Well, shall we go up to our room? 804 00:43:59,512 --> 00:44:00,596 Sure. Why not? 805 00:44:01,681 --> 00:44:03,431 Our room, sir? 806 00:44:05,601 --> 00:44:07,018 Ricky, uh, you won't mind? 807 00:44:07,018 --> 00:44:09,397 - There wasn't an extra room available. - Oh, it's all right with me. 808 00:44:09,397 --> 00:44:11,815 - I'm sure it's all right with Crandall. - I'll sleep in the car. 809 00:44:11,815 --> 00:44:13,985 Whoa. Don't be silly, you'll stay with us. 810 00:44:13,985 --> 00:44:16,946 Uh, I'm terribly hungry. I'd like a bite to eat, sir. 811 00:44:16,946 --> 00:44:18,406 We'll, uh, eat up in the room. 812 00:44:18,406 --> 00:44:19,866 Oh, I'll eat in the car, sir. 813 00:44:19,866 --> 00:44:22,577 - Uh, up in the room. - Yeah. We'll eat up in the room. 814 00:44:30,293 --> 00:44:33,087 Uh, Crandall, how long have you been eating 815 00:44:33,087 --> 00:44:35,131 wearing your hat and gloves? 816 00:44:35,922 --> 00:44:38,426 Since I had them stolen in a restaurant, sir. 817 00:44:39,510 --> 00:44:40,511 Oh. 818 00:44:41,804 --> 00:44:44,515 Say, um, uh, I'm kind of beat. 819 00:44:44,515 --> 00:44:46,184 I'd like to turn in. 820 00:44:46,184 --> 00:44:48,227 [Ernie] Yeah. Who sleeps where? 821 00:44:48,227 --> 00:44:49,478 I'll sleep in the car. 822 00:44:49,478 --> 00:44:50,980 Crandall. 823 00:44:50,980 --> 00:44:52,023 I'll sleep here, sir. 824 00:44:57,111 --> 00:44:59,405 Well, Crandall, don't tell me you sleep in your uniform. 825 00:45:00,323 --> 00:45:03,576 Why not? A good chauffeur is always ready for an emergency, sir. 826 00:45:06,161 --> 00:45:09,248 Crandall, that uniform is too hot and itchy. 827 00:45:09,248 --> 00:45:12,460 You'll find a pair of my pajamas hanging in the bathroom. 828 00:45:14,085 --> 00:45:15,087 Crandall. 829 00:45:15,755 --> 00:45:17,089 I guess he's asleep. 830 00:45:17,089 --> 00:45:18,132 Yeah, he must be. 831 00:45:21,594 --> 00:45:26,724 Say, Ernie, have you heard this, uh, new joke going around? 832 00:45:26,724 --> 00:45:29,185 No, no, no, I haven't. 833 00:45:29,185 --> 00:45:30,811 - It's a dilly. - [Ernie] Yeah? 834 00:45:32,855 --> 00:45:35,190 It's this one I've heard about a traveling salesman ... 835 00:45:35,190 --> 00:45:38,027 - Yeah? - ...and it, uh-- it seems that, uh, 836 00:45:38,027 --> 00:45:41,781 this traveling salesman, see, he comes to this farmhouse. 837 00:45:43,824 --> 00:45:47,119 And he knocks on the door and as the door opens-- 838 00:45:47,119 --> 00:45:49,080 By george, this is hot and itchy! 839 00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:50,164 I'll scratch in the car. 840 00:45:50,164 --> 00:45:51,207 Crandall! 841 00:46:02,093 --> 00:46:04,929 Ricky, how long you think we should keep this up? 842 00:46:04,929 --> 00:46:07,431 I-- I think she's had about enough of it. 843 00:46:07,431 --> 00:46:09,016 Yeah, yeah. 844 00:46:09,016 --> 00:46:15,106 Say, listen, um, that story about the traveling salesman, 845 00:46:15,106 --> 00:46:17,190 uh, what's the rest of it? 846 00:46:17,190 --> 00:46:19,944 Oh, there's-- there's no more to it. 847 00:46:19,944 --> 00:46:22,488 I just-- I just made it up to see Lucy squirm. 848 00:46:23,197 --> 00:46:24,532 That's a shame. 849 00:46:24,532 --> 00:46:26,867 I like the way it started, you know. 850 00:46:28,494 --> 00:46:30,121 - - Yeah? 851 00:46:30,121 --> 00:46:31,205 Are you finished, sir? 852 00:46:31,205 --> 00:46:33,332 - Yeah, yeah. - Yes. All right. You can take it out. 853 00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:35,751 - Uh, put a tip on there. - Thank you. 854 00:46:35,751 --> 00:46:38,087 - Don't overdo it. - [Ricky snickering] 855 00:46:47,013 --> 00:46:48,180 [Ernie] Don't tell me, 856 00:46:48,180 --> 00:46:51,726 you're wearing your cap and gloves in case you dream about driving, 857 00:46:51,726 --> 00:46:53,143 you'll be dressed for it. 858 00:46:55,062 --> 00:46:56,355 All right. 859 00:46:57,231 --> 00:46:59,108 - Good night. - 860 00:46:59,984 --> 00:47:01,652 [Ernie] Crandall, will you see who that is? 861 00:47:08,743 --> 00:47:10,703 Mr. Kovacs's room. Crandall speaking. 862 00:47:10,703 --> 00:47:12,580 Crandall? 863 00:47:12,580 --> 00:47:13,581 Lucy, is that you? 864 00:47:16,792 --> 00:47:18,169 Righto. 865 00:47:18,169 --> 00:47:20,921 You mean they're still letting you play Crandall? 866 00:47:23,883 --> 00:47:25,301 Yes, they are. 867 00:47:25,301 --> 00:47:27,678 They're just playing a dirty trick on you. 868 00:47:30,723 --> 00:47:32,099 How's that again? 869 00:47:32,099 --> 00:47:35,186 Well, this afternoon when Ernie phoned me from the car, 870 00:47:35,186 --> 00:47:36,979 I told him who you were. 871 00:47:41,067 --> 00:47:45,905 Oh, uh-- uh, yes, yes, there are three of us. 872 00:47:45,905 --> 00:47:47,448 Yes, yes, you may come right up. 873 00:47:47,448 --> 00:47:49,033 Thanks very much for calling. 874 00:47:53,286 --> 00:47:55,623 [Ernie] Uh, Crandall, who was that? 875 00:47:55,623 --> 00:47:56,916 It was a masseur. 876 00:47:57,541 --> 00:47:58,709 He's, uh, coming right up. 877 00:47:58,709 --> 00:48:01,587 He's going to give us a rubdown before we turn in. I'll go first. 878 00:48:04,131 --> 00:48:05,257 Lucy! 879 00:48:11,347 --> 00:48:12,931 When did you find out? 880 00:48:12,931 --> 00:48:15,017 Just now. That was Edie calling. 881 00:48:15,017 --> 00:48:17,103 I knew it. I married a stool pigeon. 882 00:48:19,939 --> 00:48:22,690 I'm sorry, Lucy, we gave you such a hard time. 883 00:48:23,275 --> 00:48:27,321 Well, I guess I had it coming after the hard time I gave you. 884 00:48:27,321 --> 00:48:29,864 Honest, honey, I was only trying to help. 885 00:48:31,075 --> 00:48:32,159 Look, Lucy, 886 00:48:32,159 --> 00:48:36,288 uh, from now on, you can help me 887 00:48:36,288 --> 00:48:37,832 by not trying to help me, huh? 888 00:48:40,668 --> 00:48:41,669 But thanks anyway. 889 00:48:48,259 --> 00:48:50,177 - - Oh, that's lovely. 890 00:48:50,177 --> 00:48:51,512 Oh, ho-ho! 891 00:48:52,221 --> 00:48:53,889 You should wear it like that all the time. 892 00:48:53,889 --> 00:48:55,724 - No. - That's beautiful. 893 00:48:56,308 --> 00:48:58,143 Oh, oh, that tickles! 894 00:48:58,143 --> 00:48:59,770 Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 895 00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:04,525 Let me take this. 896 00:49:04,525 --> 00:49:06,235 With all these exploding cigars around, 897 00:49:06,235 --> 00:49:07,652 I never know when I'll need a spare. 898 00:49:09,488 --> 00:49:10,948 Where you going? 899 00:49:10,948 --> 00:49:13,367 Uh, I'll sleep in the car. 900 00:49:26,672 --> 00:49:27,882 Thank you. 901 00:49:27,882 --> 00:49:29,675 Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. 902 00:49:30,468 --> 00:49:35,181 And we would like to thank Vivian Vance, Bill Frawley, Little Ricky 903 00:49:35,181 --> 00:49:37,475 and the entire cast for their performances tonight. 904 00:49:37,475 --> 00:49:41,353 And of course, a very special thanks to that wonderful couple, 905 00:49:41,353 --> 00:49:43,856 Edie Adams and Ernie Kovacs. 906 00:49:43,856 --> 00:49:48,777 Now, um, two weeks from tonight, a very unusual drama. 907 00:49:49,361 --> 00:49:52,948 You've heard about actors living their parts. 908 00:49:52,948 --> 00:49:56,702 Well, Ed Wynn and his son Keenan Wynn, 909 00:49:56,702 --> 00:49:59,872 will actually recreate a crisis in their lives. 910 00:49:59,872 --> 00:50:01,582 It's a true story, 911 00:50:01,582 --> 00:50:04,293 which we call The Man in the Funny Suit. 912 00:50:04,293 --> 00:50:10,216 And in it, Red Skelton, Rod Serling and Maxie Rosenbloom 913 00:50:10,216 --> 00:50:16,180 will recreate their parts in the story that reached a very dramatic climax 914 00:50:16,180 --> 00:50:19,350 during the filming of one of television's greatest shows. 915 00:50:19,350 --> 00:50:22,143 I would like to show you some scenes from the-- Lucy. 916 00:50:22,143 --> 00:50:23,229 What? 917 00:50:24,355 --> 00:50:25,689 What are you doing here? 918 00:50:25,689 --> 00:50:27,399 Well, I'm trying to get to the next stage. 919 00:50:27,399 --> 00:50:29,944 Betty Furness has something that's really wonderful over there, 920 00:50:29,944 --> 00:50:31,487 and I want to be the first to see it. 921 00:50:31,487 --> 00:50:32,738 Would you like to see it? 922 00:50:32,738 --> 00:50:35,449 Honey, I'm just trying to tell the folks about our next show. 923 00:50:35,449 --> 00:50:36,951 Oh, well let's take them with us. 924 00:50:36,951 --> 00:50:38,619 I'm sure you'd love to see it. 925 00:50:38,619 --> 00:50:39,911 Come on, you can tell them later. 926 00:50:41,705 --> 00:50:44,041 Look, Desi. Isn't this beautiful? 927 00:50:44,041 --> 00:50:46,960 This is the brand-new 1960 Westinghouse refrigerat-- 928 00:50:48,045 --> 00:50:50,464 You broke it. Refrigerators don't open in the middle. 929 00:50:50,464 --> 00:50:51,674 - Do something. - Well, what-- 930 00:50:51,674 --> 00:50:53,551 - - Oh! What happened? What's that? 931 00:50:53,551 --> 00:50:55,553 [Betty Furness] Announcing the revolutionary 932 00:50:55,553 --> 00:50:58,639 new 1960 Westinghouse refrigerator. 933 00:50:58,639 --> 00:51:00,516 - Let's get out of here. - Okay. Where-- 934 00:51:01,183 --> 00:51:02,977 - Well, hi, you two. - Hi. 935 00:51:02,977 --> 00:51:04,436 And here it is. 936 00:51:04,436 --> 00:51:08,815 The most revolutionary advance in refrigerators in the last ten years. 937 00:51:08,815 --> 00:51:10,818 It's a Westinghouse exclusive. 938 00:51:10,818 --> 00:51:14,071 The amazing center drawer refrigerator. 939 00:51:14,071 --> 00:51:16,323 A center drawer in a refrigerator? 940 00:51:16,323 --> 00:51:18,075 Oh, sure, Lucy. Look. 941 00:51:18,075 --> 00:51:21,203 Here is the big separate roll-out drawer 942 00:51:21,203 --> 00:51:23,289 set right in the middle of the refrigerator. 943 00:51:23,289 --> 00:51:25,416 It's waist-high for convenience. 944 00:51:25,416 --> 00:51:28,919 It makes foods easy to see and easy to reach. 945 00:51:28,919 --> 00:51:31,797 And look. It's divided into two separate sections, 946 00:51:31,797 --> 00:51:34,174 each with its own special temperature. 947 00:51:34,174 --> 00:51:36,760 Two temperatures in the same drawer? Why? 948 00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:40,055 Well, there's a special temperature in this huge meat keeper. 949 00:51:40,055 --> 00:51:43,934 Now, it holds 21 pounds of meat, even hamburger, 950 00:51:43,934 --> 00:51:47,396 keeps it store fresh for seven days without freezing. 951 00:51:47,396 --> 00:51:50,649 21 pounds? That's enough for a whole week's supply of meat. 952 00:51:50,649 --> 00:51:51,984 That's right, Lucy. 953 00:51:51,984 --> 00:51:55,237 And on this side is the giant vegetable crisper, 954 00:51:55,237 --> 00:51:56,905 with a different temperature 955 00:51:56,905 --> 00:52:02,369 that's needed to keep all your vegetables crisp, fresh and colorful days longer. 956 00:52:02,369 --> 00:52:03,911 See, that's why they needed two temperatures. 957 00:52:03,911 --> 00:52:06,248 For the meat and the vegetables. See, different temperatures. 958 00:52:06,248 --> 00:52:07,291 [Betty] That's right. 959 00:52:07,291 --> 00:52:08,709 And, uh, look, Lucy. 960 00:52:08,709 --> 00:52:11,462 You see, no matter how many times you open your refrigerator 961 00:52:11,462 --> 00:52:13,172 or freezer to get foods out, 962 00:52:13,172 --> 00:52:16,425 your meat and vegetables never get exposed to warm room air. 963 00:52:16,425 --> 00:52:18,135 Uh, excuse me, Desi. 964 00:52:18,135 --> 00:52:21,055 Up here is the huge refrigerator section. 965 00:52:21,055 --> 00:52:23,849 Now, it has its own separate temperature 966 00:52:23,849 --> 00:52:26,643 and even the most perishable foods can be stored here 967 00:52:26,643 --> 00:52:28,979 and over here in the door, too. 968 00:52:28,979 --> 00:52:30,272 And look. 969 00:52:30,272 --> 00:52:33,692 It has roll-out shelves with plenty of room for everything. 970 00:52:33,692 --> 00:52:37,196 And, of course, it is absolutely frost free. 971 00:52:37,196 --> 00:52:39,448 - Where's the freezer area? - It's down here. 972 00:52:40,366 --> 00:52:41,867 [Lucy] Oh, look how roomy it is. 973 00:52:41,867 --> 00:52:45,161 [Betty] That's right. And with its own special freezing temperature. 974 00:52:45,161 --> 00:52:47,790 And it's also absolutely frost free. 975 00:52:47,790 --> 00:52:50,584 There's never frost on the frozen foods or on the ice trays. 976 00:52:50,584 --> 00:52:54,129 Gee, frost free in the refrigerator, center drawer and a freezer, too. 977 00:52:54,129 --> 00:52:58,550 Mm-hmm. Plus four separate temperatures for every kind of food storage. 978 00:52:58,550 --> 00:53:03,097 But the wonderful news is the big center drawer. 979 00:53:03,097 --> 00:53:05,474 And only Westinghouse has it. 980 00:53:05,474 --> 00:53:10,145 Ladies and gentlemen, please consider this your special invitation 981 00:53:10,145 --> 00:53:12,731 to go into your Westinghouse dealer tomorrow 982 00:53:12,731 --> 00:53:18,404 and see the revolutionary new exclusive Westinghouse center drawer refrigerator. 983 00:53:18,404 --> 00:53:22,408 You'll discover that this refrigerator was designed and built 984 00:53:22,408 --> 00:53:24,535 to fit your needs. 985 00:53:24,535 --> 00:53:26,328 Well, it certainly is marvelous, Betty. 986 00:53:26,328 --> 00:53:28,038 I hope you folks see it soon. 987 00:53:28,038 --> 00:53:32,126 And it's the wonderful products and marvelous advances, 988 00:53:32,126 --> 00:53:34,753 like the revolutionary center drawer, 989 00:53:34,753 --> 00:53:37,005 that stand behind us when we say... 990 00:53:37,005 --> 00:53:42,219 for quality, for features, for value, you ca-- 991 00:53:42,219 --> 00:53:43,679 Desi, would you like to say-- 992 00:53:47,099 --> 00:53:51,018 You can be sure if it's Westinghouse. 993 00:53:53,230 --> 00:53:57,651 I'm sure you won't want to miss this very wonderful and very unique drama. 994 00:53:58,444 --> 00:54:02,239 Until two weeks, then, and The Man in the Funny Suit, 995 00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:05,242 starring Ed Wynn and Keenan Wynn. 996 00:54:06,118 --> 00:54:07,703 Good night, everybody. 997 00:54:10,789 --> 00:54:14,960 The Westinghouse Lucille Ball-Desi Arnaz Show. 998 00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:17,963 Directed by Desi Arnaz. 999 00:54:17,963 --> 00:54:20,758 Written by Bob Schiller and Bob Weiskopf. 1000 00:54:20,758 --> 00:54:24,511 Script consultants, Madelyn Martin and Bob Carroll Jr. 1001 00:54:24,511 --> 00:54:26,346 Produced by Bert Granet. 1002 00:54:27,264 --> 00:54:30,809 Executive producer, Desi Arnaz. 1003 00:54:30,809 --> 00:54:32,853 Others in tonight's cast were Paul Dubov, 1004 00:54:32,853 --> 00:54:35,689 Norman Leavitt, Louis Nicoletti and Dick Kallman. 1005 00:54:35,689 --> 00:54:38,525 Red Cross is you, your family, the neighbor next door. 1006 00:54:38,525 --> 00:54:41,277 Red Cross is all the good things that happen when you give. 1007 00:54:41,277 --> 00:54:44,656 Make the good things happen. Give to your 1960 Red Cross fund. 1008 00:54:45,364 --> 00:54:46,950 Don't forget, two weeks from tonight, 1009 00:54:46,950 --> 00:54:50,954 the Westinghouse Desilu Playhouse will present The Man in the Funny Suit, 1010 00:54:50,954 --> 00:54:53,373 starring Ed Wynn and Keenan Wynn 1011 00:54:53,373 --> 00:54:57,127 with special guest appearances by Red Skelton and Rod Serling. 1012 00:54:58,003 --> 00:55:02,007 The Westinghouse Lucille Ball-Desi Arnaz Show 1013 00:55:02,007 --> 00:55:05,761 is a Desilu Production brought to you by Westinghouse 1014 00:55:05,761 --> 00:55:08,555 and filmed by Desilu. 77284

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