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1
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Westinghouse,
first with the future...
2
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presents The Lucille Ball-Desi Arnaz Show,
3
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:20,812
with special guest star Milton Berle,
4
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and, of course, Vivian Vance,
William Frawley and Little Ricky.
5
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Costarring Larry Keating.
6
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Hello. Is this Milton Berle's office?
7
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I'd like to speak to Mr. Berle, please.
8
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This is Mrs. Ricky Ricardo.
9
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Oh, well,
10
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even if he is busy working
on his new book,
11
00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:47,548
I know that Mr. Berle will speak to me.
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00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:50,175
Yes, just tell him
it's Ricky Ricardo's wife.
13
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I'm sure he's heard of my husband.
14
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Well!
15
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My husband will be very upset!
16
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Goodbye!
17
00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:00,018
- Lucy!
-
18
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Good morning.
19
00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:05,857
What were you doing using my name
to try to get to Milton Berle?
20
00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:09,069
I wasn't using your name.
21
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,988
I was using my name, Mrs. Ricky Ricardo.
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- That's my name!
- Oh.
23
00:01:13,156 --> 00:01:15,742
Well, you sure are grouchy
this morning, Mrs. Ricardo.
24
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Well, anyway, it didn't work.
25
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- Maybe you ought to change your name.
- Lucy!
26
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Clark Gable. There's a nice name.
27
00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:26,253
Never mind that.
28
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:30,299
Now, I want to know
why you were trying to get Milton Berle.
29
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- What do you want with him anyway?
- Well, I-- I-I-I wanted to ask him
30
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if he would emcee our Western show
for our PTA benefit.
31
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Why does it have to be you
the one who has to get somebody?
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Because I'm the new chairman
of the entertainment committee.
33
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Since when?
34
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Since I promised them
I could get Milton Berle.
35
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Look,
36
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I don't care what you promised,
37
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but I don't want you using my name
to get anybody for any benefit.
38
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- Well--
- Do you understand?
39
00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,169
- Yes, sir.
- All right.
40
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I gotta go to work.
41
00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:10,422
Work?
42
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At this hour in the morning?
43
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We're doing a new show,
44
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- so this week I'm gonna be working days.
- Oh.
45
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-
- [Ethel] Lucy!
46
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- [Lucy] Yeah?
- Oh, hi.
47
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- [Ricky] Hi.
- What happened with Milton Berle?
48
00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:21,308
- Did you get him? Did you get him?
- No.
49
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The secretary wouldn't even
put me through to him.
50
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Said he was working on his new book.
51
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,605
Oh, dear.
52
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- Goodbye.
- So long, Seymour.
53
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,194
Huh?
54
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:34,738
You told me you didn't want me
to use your name.
55
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Why doesn't Seymour
want you to use his name?
56
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He heard me use it on the phone
57
00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:49,169
when I was trying to get
through to Milton Berle.
58
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,796
He says it's an imposition.
59
00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:53,632
Well, if you get stuck,
Fred can always double as emcee.
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00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:56,802
Ethel, emcee means master of ceremonies,
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not Mr. Cornball.
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I guess you're right.
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Well, so long.
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- Where are you going?
- Home.
65
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,644
I just came over
to borrow Milton Berle's book,
66
00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:07,895
but if you can't get him for the show,
I won't have to read it.
67
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The book!
68
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:11,942
Hey, Ethel, you've just given me an idea.
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00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:13,651
I'll go see Milton Berle.
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And before you say,
"What will Ricky say?",
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remember, he didn't say that
I couldn't say that I'm Lucy McGillicuddy.
72
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Lucy, if you couldn't even get to talk
to him on the phone as Lucy Ricardo,
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00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:26,915
what makes you think you'll get in
to see him as Lucy McGillicuddy?
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00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:28,917
His book.
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I'll tell him how much I enjoyed it,
and I'll ask him to autograph it for me.
76
00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:35,424
And how is all this going to get him
to emcee our show?
77
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Well, while he's signing his name,
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00:03:38,135 --> 00:03:40,512
I'll just tell him
what a clever author he is
79
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and what a funny comedian he is,
80
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:46,393
and I'll just casually mention
the PTA benefit.
81
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:48,937
- Do you think it'll work?
- It can't miss.
82
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If there's one thing hammier
than a comedian, it's an author,
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and Milton Berle is both!
84
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Good afternoon, Milton Berle's office.
85
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I'm sorry,
he's on the phone with Hollywood.
86
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,035
I'm afraid not.
87
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:06,371
There's someone with him now.
There are people waiting to see him.
88
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:07,914
He's working on his new book,
89
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,958
and he has an appointment
with his publisher, Mr. Watson.
90
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,960
I'd suggest you call back
in about two weeks.
91
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,547
No, this is not a recording.
92
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,720
- Good afternoon.
- Yes?
93
00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:24,222
Lucy McGillicuddy
to see Mr. Berle, please.
94
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:26,558
Oh, I'm sorry.
Mr. Berle's tied up with his publisher.
95
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- What was it in regard to?
- Oh, it's in regards to his book.
96
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:32,397
- I'd like him to autograph it for me.
- Oh, I'm sure he'd be happy to.
97
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- I figured he would.
- Where are you going, miss?
98
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- Into his office.
- Just a minute!
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Just a minute!
100
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I didn't mean now!
101
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:44,701
I, uh-- You just, uh...
...leave your address,
102
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- and I'll mail it to you.
- Oh, no, no! No, no.
103
00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:49,539
I couldn't bear to be parted
from my wonderful book.
104
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You see, I've already read it four times.
105
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:52,959
Then why can't you leave it?
106
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,295
Well, it's-- it's sort of
become a part of me.
107
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,755
I-- I take it wherever I go,
108
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and I read it over and over
and over and over. Oh, yes.
109
00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:01,927
Well, all right.
110
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If you insist on seeing Mr. Berle,
but I-- I can't make any promises.
111
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They're just wonderful,
especially the last 50 pages.
112
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Remember your promise.
113
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We've got a deadline,
and you're gonna finish this
114
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- by the end of the week.
- I guarantee it.
115
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In case you forget your promise,
remember our contract--
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If you don't finish it,
you'll lose half your royalties.
117
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Oh, don't worry about that.
I won't want to lose half my royalties.
118
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:39,673
And by the way, Mr. Watson,
119
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are you sure you want me to take out
that joke on page ten? It's a big laugh.
120
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- They'll yuck, they'll scream.
- Which one was it?
121
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You know, it was-- it's wonderful.
122
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When my mother was helping me
with my homework when I was a kid,
123
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and she said to me,
"Where does milk come from?"
124
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And I said, "Cows."
125
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And she said,
"Where does cream come from?"
126
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And I said, "Cows."
127
00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:55,355
Then she said,
"Where does butter come from?"
128
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And I said, "Butterflies."
129
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Where did you learn that? High school?
130
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No, elementary, my dear Watson.
131
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- An audience. It's funny! It's funny!
- It's out!
132
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- What'd you say?
- It's out!
133
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It's out.
134
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Uh, Mr. Watson, uh. ...
135
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,171
Will you do me a favor?
Give Mr. Watson an envelope
136
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- for the manuscript.
- Oh, yes, sir.
137
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- Everything will be fine.
- Thank you.
138
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Hiya, fellas.
Gee, I know you guys from somewhere.
139
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Your faces look very familiar.
Where do I know you guys from?
140
00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:31,182
Oh, I remember the act!
141
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Somersault and Maugham.
142
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:34,060
What can I do for you?
143
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:36,354
We thought you could use us
in the Friar show tomorrow night.
144
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:44,487
Uh, this is great, great.
You have to do it tomorrow.
145
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We'll do a routine together.
Step inside, we'll work it out.
146
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Come inside. Everything will be...
That's the bit I'm gonna do with you.
147
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Milton, this is ridiculous!
148
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- What do you mean ridiculous?
- Excuse me, Mr. Berle.
149
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,497
- Would you do me a big favor?
- Yeah, sure.
150
00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:56,458
When I told my kids
I was working next door to Milton Berle,
151
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they made me promise
to get your picture autograph.
152
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Well, fine.
153
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Gee, where did you get this one?
This is a wonderful picture.
154
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:04,716
- How did you get in here?
- I came up in a cement bucket.
155
00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:07,177
- 20 floors?
- Oh, it's a cinch!
156
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:10,180
The crane operator swung me over
to Mr. Berle's terrace, and I hopped out.
157
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,974
- [Watson] Incredible!
- Young man, come here.
158
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Look, to whom shall I make it out?
159
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- To Billy...
- To Billy.
160
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Yes. Estelle, Dave,
161
00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:20,941
Lawrence, Frankie, Eleanor, Bruce...
162
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:23,360
All right. I'll just make it out
to "Billy and the gang."
163
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- There you are, young man.
- Oh, gee, thanks, Mr. Berle.
164
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:27,614
Do you mind if the other fellas drop in
for your autograph?
165
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- Anytime you want, young man.
- Aw, gee, I'm sorry, I have to run off.
166
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I-- My cement bucket is double parked.
167
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:38,291
Your cement bucket is double parked?
168
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You build the buildings,
I'll tell the jokes.
169
00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:42,253
"Cement bucket double parked."
170
00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:45,548
People come to me with the corniest jokes
I've ever heard.
171
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Jot that down, Miss Trent.
172
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Mr. Berle...
173
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Milton, you'll never
get those 50 pages done.
174
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One-man bands, acrobats,
sandhogs, telephone...
175
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:54,724
I promise-- I promise
this is the last interruption.
176
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- You're...
- Don't worry about a thing.
177
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:57,852
- I will promise--
-
178
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[Milton] So long, kid.
Anytime you want to get a picture.
179
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,691
Oh, this is a madhouse!
180
00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,401
Please, Mr. Berle,
this will just take a minute.
181
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,987
The trouble with you is
you can't say no to anybody!
182
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,822
- Mr. Berle...
- Oh, you're wrong, Mr. Watson.
183
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,366
I can say no. Anytime
that I want to say no, I can say no.
184
00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:13,159
- Mr. Berle, I'm Lucy McGillicuddy.
- I'm sorry.
185
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:14,786
I just loved your book, Earthquake.
186
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,621
- I'm afraid not.
- Since you're such a great author,
187
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:18,373
- such a funny comedian...
- I can't do it! I can't do it.
188
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:21,292
- ... I'd love for you to autograph my book.
- No, absolutely no!
189
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:22,961
See what I mean?
190
00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:24,421
I said no, didn't I?
191
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,131
Oh, thank you, Mr. Berle!
192
00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:27,716
- My finger, dear. My finger.
- Oh.
193
00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:28,842
I just loved your book.
194
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,552
- I thought it was wonderful.
- You're very sweet.
195
00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:32,261
So powerful, tense and artistic.
196
00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:38,601
Powerful, tense, artistic?
197
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:41,479
Yes, P-T-A.
198
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:43,398
P-T-A.
199
00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:44,732
Yes, which reminds me, we're having
200
00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:46,276
- a little PTA benefit Friday night.
- Oh!
201
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:50,780
Milton, the only way you'll ever meet
this deadline is to hide out someplace.
202
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,657
- Maybe you're right.
- Well, how about my place?
203
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,284
It's up in the country, away from things.
204
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:56,119
With your mother-in-law there
all the time?
205
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,203
Yakety-yakety-yak.
206
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,080
Remember what happened
to Ernest Hemingway the last time?
207
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,749
Three days at your house,
and he fled to Cuba.
208
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,626
I don't care where you go,
209
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:06,004
so long as it's secluded
and you won't be bothered.
210
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:08,590
I got an idea.
I could stay at my mother-in-law's house.
211
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:10,467
- She hasn't spoken to me in three years.
- Oh.
212
00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:13,803
Milton, you've got to get away
from all your friends and relatives.
213
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:16,639
Please, I don't mean to butt in,
but I have a house in Westport.
214
00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:18,016
Yes, madam, I'm sure it's lovely.
215
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:20,518
Yes, it is, and you could
work up there every day.
216
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:23,146
Thank you, young lady,
but I'm sorry, I couldn't impose upon you.
217
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:25,648
Oh, you wouldn't be imposing at all!
218
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:28,068
You could work up there every day
and nobody'd ever know.
219
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,779
Well, thank you very much,
but it's out of the question.
220
00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:32,072
- Wait a minute, Milton.
- What?
221
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,448
Mrs. McGillicuddy may have something.
222
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:36,076
Thank you very much.
I can't accept your offer.
223
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,160
- She's a total stranger.
- But that's just the point.
224
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,703
Because she is a total stranger,
225
00:09:39,703 --> 00:09:41,873
no one will be able
to find you and bother you.
226
00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:43,708
That's true. That's true.
227
00:09:44,208 --> 00:09:45,293
That is true.
228
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:49,297
Well, gee, I-I-I'd have to pay you
for the rental of your house.
229
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:52,008
Oh, Mr. Berle,
I couldn't accept your money.
230
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,677
The price is right.
231
00:09:56,136 --> 00:09:58,431
- Okay, it's a deal.
- Oh, wonderful!
232
00:09:58,431 --> 00:09:59,516
Well, I've got to run.
233
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:02,227
- Thank you so much, Mrs. McGillicuddy.
- Oh, it's quite all right, Mr. Watson.
234
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:04,896
Berle, don't you forget
we've got a deadline!
235
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:06,147
Oh, don't worry, I'll finish it.
236
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:08,441
I'll also call you and let you know
where to get in touch with me.
237
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,610
Fine, but be sure I'm the only one!
238
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,320
- Oh, don't worry, don't worry!
-
239
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:17,158
Gee, young lady, I can't understand
why you're being so kind and so generous.
240
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:21,246
Oh, well, it's, uh--
it's really quite simple.
241
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:25,833
You see, uh, I am a patron of the arts.
242
00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:27,418
- Oh, really?
- Yes, yes.
243
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:31,464
And-and whatever benefits
a great author, benefits me.
244
00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:34,134
Uh, and speaking of benefits,
245
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:38,138
there is a teensy-weensy little benefit
at my little boy's school Friday night,
246
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,640
and I was so hoping you could appear.
247
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,351
You know,
that's the sneakiest offer I've had
248
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:45,436
since Lindy promised
to name a sandwich after me
249
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:49,399
- if I gave up my table near the door.
-
250
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:50,567
Will you do it?
251
00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:54,112
Say, if I can eat standing up
at Lindy's window,
252
00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:56,489
- I can surely do your benefit.
- Oh, thank you!
253
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:57,907
If I finish my book in time.
254
00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:00,285
You can start working there tomorrow
from 10:00 to 5:00.
255
00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:02,162
My husband's gone from 9:30 to 5:30.
256
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,621
- Good, good.
- I'll give you the address.
257
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:05,331
Look, look, not a soul must know.
258
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,749
Not-Not even Mr. McGillicuddy.
259
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:08,960
Who?
260
00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:10,837
Your husband.
261
00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:13,298
Oh!
262
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:16,134
Oh, especially Mr. McGillicuddy!
263
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:17,552
Oh!
264
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,357
Well, bye-bye, dear.
265
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:32,984
Wait a minute. What are you doing?
266
00:11:32,984 --> 00:11:34,611
I haven't finished my breakfast yet.
267
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:37,947
Boy, you sure are a slowpoke.
268
00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:41,451
Listen, just because
these are three-minute eggs
269
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:43,453
doesn't mean that
I have to eat them in three minutes.
270
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:48,833
You better hurry, you'll miss your train.
271
00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:53,046
What are you doing? I got plenty of time.
272
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,797
You know how
these commuter trains are, honey.
273
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:56,883
- Always early.
- What are you talking about?
274
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:58,801
They haven't been early
in the last 100 years.
275
00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:00,386
Well, there's always a first time.
276
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:09,312
All right, Lucy, now, what are you up to?
277
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:10,897
Up to?
278
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:14,984
I'm up to my neck in housework
that I can't start until you leave.
279
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:17,779
All right. I shall leave
as soon as I finish my coffee.
280
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:38,549
What happened to my coffee?
281
00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:40,551
You drank it.
282
00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:42,971
You may eat slow, but you sure drink fast.
283
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:47,350
Well, bye-bye, dear.
284
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,189
How do you like this--
285
00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:55,857
Milton Berle is looking
for a new Latin band
286
00:12:55,857 --> 00:12:57,944
- for his television show.
- Well, that's nice.
287
00:12:57,944 --> 00:12:59,570
Maybe I could get the job.
288
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:02,282
Say, I'm sure glad that
you didn't bother him anymore
289
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,117
about that PTA benefit.
290
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,201
Yeah, well.
291
00:13:06,785 --> 00:13:08,246
- Yeah.
- Here you are.
292
00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:09,998
Goodbye, dear. Bye-bye.
293
00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:15,336
I don't know why, but I get the feeling
that you're trying to get rid of me.
294
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:20,258
Why, honey,
how could you think a thing like that?
295
00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:22,260
It's just that I love to kiss you goodbye,
296
00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:24,220
and I can't kiss you goodbye
until you leave.
297
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,221
Bye.
298
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:40,194
Ta-da-dah!
299
00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:43,614
Howdy, ma'am.
300
00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:47,994
Fred wants to know if this outfit
is all right for our act at the PTA show.
301
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:50,997
Oh, uh, uh, yes, yes,
that looks wonderful, Fred.
302
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:52,665
You just look great. Goodbye, Fred.
303
00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:03,801
Come on, Ethel. I know
when somebody is trying to get rid of me.
304
00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:07,429
No, you don't. What do you think
I've been trying to do for 25 years?
305
00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:08,431
Eh.
306
00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:11,976
- Goodbye, Ethel.
- No, wait, I want to talk to you.
307
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,561
What happened with Milton Berle yesterday?
308
00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:16,481
Well, he said if he finishes
his new book on time,
309
00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:17,774
he'll appear at the benefit.
310
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:20,234
Wonderful! How did you get him to agree?
311
00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:23,404
Ethel, you ask entirely too many questions
for so early in the morning.
312
00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:25,531
Well, if you're gonna get nasty,
I'll leave.
313
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:26,532
Good.
314
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,242
Well!
315
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:29,911
See you at the benefit Friday night.
316
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,628
Oh, no!
317
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,137
Good morning, ma'am.
318
00:14:48,638 --> 00:14:50,098
Nothing today, thank you.
319
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,809
Mrs. McGillicuddy, it's me.
320
00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:54,852
Oh, Mr. Berle, I'm sorry.
321
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,813
I-I-I didn't recognize you.
322
00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:59,774
Well, I-I figured I'd wear a disguise
in case you weren't alone.
323
00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:00,942
Oh, I'm alone all right.
324
00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:02,693
I hurried my little boy off to school,
325
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:04,195
I dashed my husband off to work,
326
00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:06,697
and I insulted my two best friends
right out of the house.
327
00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:08,533
I'm sorry to put you
through all that trouble.
328
00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:09,742
Oh, no, no, not at all.
329
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,953
Now, I'm all set up,
you can go to work right in there,
330
00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:13,996
and you better get started
so you can finish in time
331
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:16,374
- for the benefit Friday night.
- All right. Is this the place?
332
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:17,375
Yes.
333
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,343
Yeah?
334
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,887
I just want to make sure
you'd started to work.
335
00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:33,724
Well, it's pretty difficult
to work without this.
336
00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:36,644
Oh! Oh, yeah, I guess so.
337
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,991
- Now what?
- Coffee break.
338
00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:54,954
Mr. Berle, you get right back in there,
and I'll bring you some.
339
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,747
Oh, don't bother,
I'll drink it at the table.
340
00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:59,459
Now, every minute counts.
Can't you drink while you work?
341
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,210
What is this, solitary confinement?
342
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:02,503
Now you go on, get back in there
343
00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:03,629
- and get to work.
- Yeah, but...
344
00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:14,974
[Lucy] Uh-ah-ah-ah-ah!
345
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,267
Now, now!
346
00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:17,768
Mr. Berle, where are you going?
347
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:19,937
I'm going down to the village
to get some cigars.
348
00:16:19,937 --> 00:16:22,773
Mr. Berle, how can you drink coffee,
349
00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:24,984
smoke cigars and type at the same time?
350
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,527
It's no problem at all.
351
00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:30,364
- I don't inhale.
- Mr. Berle, I'll get the cigars for you.
352
00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:32,158
You just get back in there
and get to work.
353
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,869
Well, if you do get the cigars,
be sure you get me a dozen of these.
354
00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:36,329
- I will.
- They're imported from Havana.
355
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:37,788
Yes, sir, yes, sir, I will get them.
356
00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:39,081
Now, I'll bring your coffee to you.
357
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:40,750
Now, you go on in there
and get to work, please.
358
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:44,003
I wonder if Carl Sandburg
started this way.
359
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:10,488
Ethel, I would appreciate it if
you would knock before you enter my house.
360
00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:13,324
This may be the last time
I ever enter your house.
361
00:17:13,324 --> 00:17:15,868
My husband and I have had a discussion.
362
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,244
We don't like your attitude,
363
00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:19,997
so we've decided
we wouldn't be on your old PTA show
364
00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:22,208
if you got down on your knees
and begged us.
365
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:24,252
Oh, Ethel ...
366
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:27,213
I guess I have been a little on edge.
367
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:28,548
That's putting it mildly.
368
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:30,299
Well, I'm sorry.
369
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:31,509
I apologize.
370
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:34,136
In that case, I accept your apology,
371
00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:36,013
and Fred and I will go on
the show as scheduled.
372
00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:37,138
Oh, good.
373
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:42,228
Ye-- Ethel, Ethel,
just because I apologized
374
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:43,980
doesn't mean that
I'm running a coffee house.
375
00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:48,317
Lucy, you're acting awful
peculiar this morning.
376
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:50,236
Oh, you're just being touchy.
377
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,696
- Goodbye, Ethel.
- Wait a minute.
378
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,075
Where did this come from?
379
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:58,494
Havana.
380
00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:02,665
No, I mean whose is it?
381
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:05,542
Ricky's.
382
00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:07,003
He's from Havana too.
383
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,132
Ricky smokes those little thin cigars.
384
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:12,883
Oh.
385
00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:16,596
Someone left it.
386
00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,224
Who?
387
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:22,226
Who?
388
00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:25,521
Yeah, who?
389
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,109
Oh, all right, Ethel.
390
00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:32,945
You guessed my secret.
391
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:36,073
When I'm alone I smoke cigars,
the big ones.
392
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,868
That's why I was trying to get rid of you.
393
00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:41,037
Yeah, that's it.
394
00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:44,123
Let's see you smoke it.
395
00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:47,167
No, thanks, I-I just finished one.
396
00:18:47,667 --> 00:18:49,337
I'm trying to cut down to two a day.
397
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:53,758
I won't believe you
till I see you smoke it.
398
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,455
Uh, Et-Ethel,
399
00:19:24,455 --> 00:19:27,375
uh, wou-would you give me
that ashtray on the table, please?
400
00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:47,144
Nothing like a good cigar, I always say.
401
00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:51,232
You really like 'em, huh?
402
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:52,817
Mm-hmm.
403
00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:00,700
Who's hat and coat are you sitting on?
404
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,542
Am I sitting on a hat and coat?
405
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:20,594
Well, what do you know.
406
00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:22,179
I know they're not Ricky's.
407
00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:25,141
And they certainly aren't Little Ricky's.
408
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,019
- Well, uh...
- Don't tell me they're yours.
409
00:20:30,311 --> 00:20:31,313
Why not?
410
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:34,775
Oh, you've taken up
wearing men's clothes, huh?
411
00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:36,609
Yeah.
412
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:40,239
Yeah, I find them very warm and practical.
413
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:43,909
You know how flimsy women's garments are
for these Connecticut winters.
414
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:48,164
- I'll bet they're stunning.
- They look all right.
415
00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:51,083
I'd like to see you in them.
416
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:54,336
All right.
417
00:21:24,407 --> 00:21:25,868
Very chic.
418
00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:27,536
Thank you.
419
00:21:31,373 --> 00:21:34,460
Well, Ethel, now that I've answered
all your nosy questions,
420
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:36,545
if you don't mind, I'd like to be alone.
421
00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:38,422
-
- What's that?
422
00:21:39,048 --> 00:21:40,257
What's what?
423
00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:43,511
- That noise. It sounds like typing.
- Oh, that's me.
424
00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:44,595
Didn't I tell you?
425
00:21:44,595 --> 00:21:45,971
I've taken up Spanish dancing.
426
00:21:46,597 --> 00:21:48,724
Since when did you
take up Spanish dancing?
427
00:21:48,724 --> 00:21:50,309
Since I took up cigar smoking.
428
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:56,232
Oh, that's right, they do go together.
429
00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:58,859
Can't do one without the other.
430
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:07,910
Lucy... Lucy!
431
00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:12,455
I accept the fact
that you're smoking cigars,
432
00:22:12,455 --> 00:22:14,959
wearing men's clothing
and have taken up Spanish dancing,
433
00:22:15,626 --> 00:22:18,587
but what are you doing with
those Swiss bell ringers in the den?
434
00:22:20,422 --> 00:22:22,090
Oh, all right, Ethel!
435
00:22:22,633 --> 00:22:24,343
I know you'll never
give me a minute's peace
436
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:26,345
- until you know who's in there.
- Who? Who?
437
00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:29,265
- You promise you won't tell a living soul?
- I promise.
438
00:22:32,101 --> 00:22:34,436
- Milton--
- Oh!
439
00:22:36,230 --> 00:22:39,108
- What's Milton Berle doing in there?
- He's hiding out there.
440
00:22:39,108 --> 00:22:40,818
There were too many
interruptions at his office,
441
00:22:40,818 --> 00:22:42,111
so I made a deal with him.
442
00:22:42,111 --> 00:22:43,571
He's working on his book out here.
443
00:22:43,571 --> 00:22:46,448
And if he finishes it by Friday,
he's promised to appear at the benefit.
444
00:22:47,532 --> 00:22:49,535
- Does Ricky know?
- Oh, of course not.
445
00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:51,287
If anybody knows, the deal is off.
446
00:22:51,287 --> 00:22:53,163
So, whatever you do, don't you tell Fred!
447
00:22:53,163 --> 00:22:55,374
That blabbermouth? Don't worry.
448
00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:57,917
And, Ethel, whatever you do,
don't let Fred out of the house.
449
00:22:57,917 --> 00:22:59,003
Oh, I won't.
450
00:23:00,754 --> 00:23:04,090
Oh, cooped up with Fred Mertz
for a whole week!
451
00:23:04,090 --> 00:23:06,135
I may take up cigar smoking myself.
452
00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:23,277
Come on in, the coast is clear.
453
00:23:23,277 --> 00:23:24,612
Good, good.
454
00:23:24,612 --> 00:23:26,238
Oh, uh, by the way,
455
00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:28,782
Mr. Watson is gonna stop by today
to see how I'm doing.
456
00:23:28,782 --> 00:23:30,868
- Mr. Wat-- Oh, your publisher.
- Right, right.
457
00:23:30,868 --> 00:23:33,162
- Well, how are you doing?
- Oh, don't worry, Mrs. McGillicuddy.
458
00:23:33,162 --> 00:23:35,497
I should be finished in time enough
to do your benefit tonight.
459
00:23:35,497 --> 00:23:37,041
- Wonderful.
- [Ethel] Lucy!
460
00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:38,292
Lucy!
461
00:23:38,292 --> 00:23:39,376
What's the matter?
462
00:23:39,376 --> 00:23:41,211
- Who's she? Who's she?
- It's all right, she knows.
463
00:23:41,211 --> 00:23:42,296
[Lucy] What's the matter?
464
00:23:42,296 --> 00:23:43,505
- [Milton] What's happening?
- Oh!
465
00:23:44,381 --> 00:23:46,133
- We gotta hide him!
- Why?
466
00:23:46,133 --> 00:23:47,676
Ricky's on his way and he's boiling mad!
467
00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:49,303
I thought Ricky was
on his way to New York.
468
00:23:49,303 --> 00:23:50,888
He was, but Fred
got hold of him and told him
469
00:23:50,888 --> 00:23:52,765
there's a strange man coming
here to see you every day!
470
00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:54,516
- Oh, fine.
- Ethel, how did Fred find out?
471
00:23:54,516 --> 00:23:56,685
Don't look at me!
You know old Peeping Fred.
472
00:23:56,685 --> 00:23:57,936
Nothing gets past him.
473
00:23:57,936 --> 00:24:00,272
- We gotta hide him.
- Yeah. We have to hide him.
474
00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:01,607
No, no, in the closet.
475
00:24:01,607 --> 00:24:03,275
- In the closet.
- No, over here, Ethel!
476
00:24:03,901 --> 00:24:05,653
Wait a minute!
477
00:24:05,653 --> 00:24:07,196
Wait a minute! This is ridiculous!
478
00:24:07,196 --> 00:24:08,321
Why should I hide?
479
00:24:08,321 --> 00:24:10,574
I'll just simply explain to your husband
what I'm doing here.
480
00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:13,619
Oh, sure, and while you're explaining,
he'll be punching you right in the nose.
481
00:24:13,619 --> 00:24:15,204
He has a terrible Latin temper!
482
00:24:15,204 --> 00:24:16,538
Oh, I ...
483
00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:19,333
McGillicuddy, Latin?
484
00:24:19,333 --> 00:24:21,085
Uh, yeah, Irish Latin.
485
00:24:21,919 --> 00:24:24,338
- Irish Latin?
- Yeah, and they're the worst kind!
486
00:24:24,338 --> 00:24:25,547
- Yeah.
- You don't understand.
487
00:24:25,547 --> 00:24:27,049
- There's no such--
- We have to hide him.
488
00:24:27,049 --> 00:24:29,301
- We gotta hide--
- No, no, in the closet, Lucy.
489
00:24:31,011 --> 00:24:33,513
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
490
00:24:33,513 --> 00:24:35,474
I-I still say I-I shouldn't hide.
491
00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:37,518
When your husband gets here,
I'll simply reason with him,
492
00:24:37,518 --> 00:24:39,061
- and when I reason--
-
493
00:24:39,061 --> 00:24:41,146
[Ricky] I'll kill him! I'll kill him!
494
00:24:41,730 --> 00:24:42,898
Where do I hide? Where do I hide?
495
00:24:43,607 --> 00:24:45,693
- In the closet!
- [Ricky] I'll kill him! I'll kill him!
496
00:24:45,693 --> 00:24:47,987
[Lucy] Take him upstairs!
Take him upstairs!
497
00:24:47,987 --> 00:24:50,114
- Take him upstairs!
- Upstairs, upstairs!
498
00:24:50,114 --> 00:24:51,865
Come on, we hid a horse up there once.
499
00:24:51,865 --> 00:24:52,866
-
- Lucy!
500
00:24:52,866 --> 00:24:54,118
- Mr. Berle...
- Yes, yes.
501
00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:55,703
... I'm so glad to meet you. I'm Ethel Mertz.
502
00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:57,830
- Will you two get up there!
- Oh!
503
00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:59,330
Get up there!
504
00:24:59,330 --> 00:25:01,166
-
- [Ricky] Lucy! Let me in!
505
00:25:02,001 --> 00:25:03,002
Let me in!
506
00:25:04,294 --> 00:25:06,046
Oh, hello, dear.
507
00:25:06,046 --> 00:25:07,172
Out of my way!
508
00:25:08,215 --> 00:25:09,883
Where is he? Where is he?
509
00:25:10,551 --> 00:25:11,677
Where is who, dear?
510
00:25:11,677 --> 00:25:13,929
It's ten to one
he sneaked out the back way.
511
00:25:13,929 --> 00:25:15,263
- Yeah. Let's go.
- Right.
512
00:25:15,263 --> 00:25:17,141
You're home early, sweetheart.
513
00:25:20,853 --> 00:25:24,148
Psst, Lucy, we need your help.
Milton's got an idea.
514
00:25:24,148 --> 00:25:25,148
[Lucy] Okay.
515
00:25:33,198 --> 00:25:34,199
Milton?
516
00:25:43,292 --> 00:25:44,292
Milton?
517
00:25:49,715 --> 00:25:51,717
Where could he be? Where could he be?
518
00:25:51,717 --> 00:25:52,885
Maybe he got away.
519
00:25:52,885 --> 00:25:55,512
No, he didn't have time to get away.
He's gotta be here someplace.
520
00:25:55,512 --> 00:25:56,847
- Go look in that closet.
- All right.
521
00:25:56,847 --> 00:25:58,557
Go in there.
I'll go in the closet in the hall.
522
00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:00,100
He's got to be here someplace.
523
00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:08,192
Oh, there you are, you "hum" wrecker, you!
524
00:26:08,192 --> 00:26:09,484
There must be some mistake.
525
00:26:09,484 --> 00:26:12,613
You're darn tootin' there's a mistake,
mister, and you made it!
526
00:26:15,074 --> 00:26:16,657
Nice punching, Rick.
527
00:26:16,657 --> 00:26:19,453
Come on, help me get
this guy out of here before I kill him.
528
00:26:20,162 --> 00:26:21,163
Get out!
529
00:26:21,997 --> 00:26:23,707
Listen, you character!
530
00:26:24,374 --> 00:26:27,544
Don't you ever let me catch you
in here again or I'll murder you!
531
00:26:27,544 --> 00:26:29,171
Yeah, remember that.
532
00:26:32,508 --> 00:26:33,592
Lucy?
533
00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:34,593
Where are you?
534
00:26:35,344 --> 00:26:36,512
Lucy, where are you?
535
00:26:37,346 --> 00:26:39,306
Lucy, I want to talk to you!
536
00:26:39,306 --> 00:26:40,557
Coming, dear.
537
00:26:47,815 --> 00:26:48,732
Yes, dear?
538
00:26:48,732 --> 00:26:52,277
Lucy, I want an explanation
of what's going on here.
539
00:26:52,277 --> 00:26:53,320
Hello, Fred.
540
00:26:53,904 --> 00:26:55,696
Never mind that "Hello, Fred."
541
00:26:56,406 --> 00:26:58,534
All right, you heard me, Lucy!
What is going on here?
542
00:26:58,534 --> 00:26:59,785
Please, honey, lower your voice.
543
00:26:59,785 --> 00:27:01,494
I'll explain after the company leaves.
544
00:27:01,494 --> 00:27:02,663
What company?
545
00:27:02,663 --> 00:27:03,580
Please, honey.
546
00:27:03,580 --> 00:27:06,291
Uh, come along, Mildred, dear.
547
00:27:06,875 --> 00:27:09,503
- Isn't she a lovely lady?
- [Lucy] Oh, yes, she is.
548
00:27:29,773 --> 00:27:32,276
Mildred, dear, this is my husband.
549
00:27:32,276 --> 00:27:33,484
This is Mildred Burke.
550
00:27:35,279 --> 00:27:36,446
How do you do?
551
00:27:38,448 --> 00:27:39,324
Hello.
552
00:27:40,659 --> 00:27:42,244
And that's my husband.
553
00:27:42,244 --> 00:27:43,369
How do you do?
554
00:27:46,455 --> 00:27:47,457
Hello.
555
00:27:52,546 --> 00:27:56,215
Mildred just dropped by
to discuss some PTA business.
556
00:27:56,215 --> 00:27:58,385
That-That-That's right.
557
00:27:58,385 --> 00:28:02,013
And thanks a million for
allowing me to use your powder room.
558
00:28:02,013 --> 00:28:04,349
My makeup was just terribly messy.
559
00:28:04,349 --> 00:28:06,476
[Lucy] Oh, it was not.
You look divine, Mildred.
560
00:28:07,144 --> 00:28:08,729
You never looked lovelier.
561
00:28:08,729 --> 00:28:09,730
Thanks.
562
00:28:13,483 --> 00:28:15,861
Well, uh, it's been very nice
meeting you, Miss Burke.
563
00:28:15,861 --> 00:28:18,280
Thank you.
Nice meeting you too.
564
00:28:18,946 --> 00:28:21,657
I just adore your laughing Irish eyes.
565
00:28:29,625 --> 00:28:30,542
Thank you.
566
00:28:30,542 --> 00:28:33,170
And you're cute too, baldy.
567
00:28:35,422 --> 00:28:37,799
Well, you're quite
a looker yourself, rosebud.
568
00:28:40,844 --> 00:28:41,929
Oh.
569
00:28:42,846 --> 00:28:44,514
Thank you. And that reminds me--
570
00:28:44,514 --> 00:28:46,058
Uh, it's too bad
571
00:28:46,058 --> 00:28:49,019
- you have to run along, Mildred, dear.
- Oh, yes, I have to go.
572
00:28:49,019 --> 00:28:50,020
I have to leave.
573
00:28:52,648 --> 00:28:53,815
Thank you very much.
574
00:28:56,610 --> 00:28:57,778
My shoe.
575
00:28:58,987 --> 00:29:00,072
Can't leave without my shoe.
576
00:29:04,368 --> 00:29:07,287
Oh! Oh! Oh, Mr. Watson!
577
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,082
Mr. Watson, what happened?
578
00:29:10,832 --> 00:29:11,959
Well, I ...
579
00:29:11,959 --> 00:29:15,170
I just walked in here
and that character punched me in the jaw.
580
00:29:15,837 --> 00:29:17,464
Oh, this is dreadful.
581
00:29:18,131 --> 00:29:19,716
What's the matter with you?
582
00:29:19,716 --> 00:29:21,927
What do you mean
what's the matter with me?
583
00:29:21,927 --> 00:29:24,930
This is the man that had been coming
here every day while I was gone.
584
00:29:24,930 --> 00:29:25,931
He's the "hum" wrecker.
585
00:29:26,807 --> 00:29:28,976
He isn't the "hum" wrecker. He is!
586
00:29:30,435 --> 00:29:32,354
- He?
- He!
587
00:29:34,606 --> 00:29:37,442
So you're the "hum" wrecker, huh?
588
00:29:43,865 --> 00:29:46,868
Ricky, you just hit Milton Berle!
589
00:29:47,536 --> 00:29:49,705
- Milton Berle?
- [Lucy] Yes!
590
00:29:49,705 --> 00:29:52,124
He was hiding out here
so he could finish his book.
591
00:29:52,124 --> 00:29:55,669
It was a deal to get him for the benefit,
and this is Mr. Watson, his publisher.
592
00:29:56,378 --> 00:29:58,088
Ayayay.
593
00:29:58,088 --> 00:30:00,882
Mr. Berle, Mr. Berle, are you all right?
594
00:30:00,882 --> 00:30:02,134
Are you all right?
595
00:30:02,134 --> 00:30:06,179
I'm all right,
but Milton will never be the same.
596
00:30:10,225 --> 00:30:11,310
Hi.
597
00:30:11,310 --> 00:30:12,311
Hi, Ethel.
598
00:30:12,894 --> 00:30:15,022
Honey, don't take it so hard.
599
00:30:16,273 --> 00:30:18,567
I can't get over how mad Ricky got.
600
00:30:19,192 --> 00:30:21,153
You know, I really can't blame him.
601
00:30:21,695 --> 00:30:25,615
After all, you ruined his chances of
getting on Milton Berle's television show.
602
00:30:25,615 --> 00:30:28,994
And, incidentally, you lost
your emcee for our benefit tonight.
603
00:30:30,203 --> 00:30:34,207
Ethel, things are bad enough without
having to listen to your stale synopsis.
604
00:30:35,751 --> 00:30:36,835
Oh, cheer up.
605
00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:39,004
You still got
Ethel and Freddie Mertz as headliners.
606
00:30:39,004 --> 00:30:41,965
Oh, feesh, some headliners.
607
00:30:41,965 --> 00:30:43,967
Even you and Fred
wouldn't walk across the street
608
00:30:43,967 --> 00:30:45,052
to see you and Fred.
609
00:30:47,346 --> 00:30:48,930
Don't get so uppity.
610
00:30:48,930 --> 00:30:50,223
Who else is there?
611
00:30:50,223 --> 00:30:52,768
I haven't given up on Milton Berle yet.
612
00:30:52,768 --> 00:30:54,728
Boy, are you an optimist.
613
00:30:56,063 --> 00:30:57,939
Ethel, I've been thinking.
614
00:30:58,482 --> 00:31:01,193
- Goodbye.
- Aren't you going to listen to my plan?
615
00:31:01,193 --> 00:31:02,527
Does it involve me?
616
00:31:02,527 --> 00:31:04,571
- No.
- Good, then I'll listen.
617
00:31:04,571 --> 00:31:05,572
All right.
618
00:31:08,325 --> 00:31:09,576
Now, look,
619
00:31:09,576 --> 00:31:13,538
I would like to get in to see Milton
so I could apologize to him.
620
00:31:13,538 --> 00:31:15,374
How you gonna do that?
621
00:31:15,374 --> 00:31:18,168
Well, the other day
when I was up to the office,
622
00:31:18,168 --> 00:31:20,504
I noticed that they're
building a skyscraper
623
00:31:20,504 --> 00:31:21,922
right next door to his office...
624
00:31:43,944 --> 00:31:45,028
Miss Trent?
625
00:31:45,028 --> 00:31:46,238
- Yes, sir.
- Uh, call up, uh--
626
00:31:46,238 --> 00:31:47,781
Call up Mr. Watson, tell him I'm finished.
627
00:31:47,781 --> 00:31:49,408
He can pick up the pages
anytime he wants to.
628
00:31:49,408 --> 00:31:50,492
Yes, sir.
629
00:32:19,396 --> 00:32:20,814
What are you doing here?
630
00:32:20,814 --> 00:32:22,774
- Get out of here!
- [Lucy mouthing words]
631
00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:24,651
Get out! I don't want to see you anymore.
632
00:32:24,651 --> 00:32:26,111
You'll get killed!
633
00:32:26,111 --> 00:32:27,487
You're 20 stories...
634
00:32:28,363 --> 00:32:30,407
Get out! Get out of here!
635
00:32:30,991 --> 00:32:33,618
Faster, faster! What are you do--
636
00:32:39,124 --> 00:32:40,959
What are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
637
00:32:40,959 --> 00:32:43,462
Please, Mr. Berle, I came to apologize.
638
00:32:43,462 --> 00:32:45,672
Haven't I had enough trouble
with you already? Leave me alone!
639
00:32:45,672 --> 00:32:48,049
Please, Mr. Berle, help me down.
640
00:32:52,471 --> 00:32:54,431
All right, all right, I'll help you.
641
00:32:54,431 --> 00:32:57,309
I'll help you, I'll help you.
Now, take it easy.
642
00:32:57,309 --> 00:32:58,560
I'll help you. I--
643
00:33:02,731 --> 00:33:05,108
I'll help you as soon as
I get my stomach back.
644
00:33:06,276 --> 00:33:07,694
- Mr. Berle?
- Yeah?
645
00:33:07,694 --> 00:33:10,822
Just hold on to the bucket and steady it.
I-I-I'll hop out.
646
00:33:10,822 --> 00:33:11,823
Just...
647
00:33:17,579 --> 00:33:19,039
Can't you get it any lower?
648
00:33:19,039 --> 00:33:21,500
- I'll give the man the signal.
- Yeah, okay.
649
00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:24,669
That's it. Here we go.
650
00:33:24,669 --> 00:33:26,129
Yeah, I got you.
651
00:33:26,129 --> 00:33:27,380
I got you.
652
00:33:27,380 --> 00:33:28,465
I got--
653
00:33:28,465 --> 00:33:29,549
Ah!
654
00:33:31,551 --> 00:33:33,178
What happened? What happened?
655
00:33:33,178 --> 00:33:35,764
I forgot to tell him to stop!
656
00:33:36,306 --> 00:33:37,432
Women drivers.
657
00:33:38,683 --> 00:33:41,311
Give him the motion
and tell him to pull the thing up.
658
00:33:41,311 --> 00:33:43,396
Wave to him! Up, up.
659
00:33:44,689 --> 00:33:46,149
Take it easy. That's it.
660
00:33:46,149 --> 00:33:48,568
- Catch hold of the rim and pull me over.
- All right.
661
00:33:53,740 --> 00:33:55,951
Hang on, Mr. Berle!
662
00:33:58,662 --> 00:34:00,622
[Milton] Somebody help!
663
00:34:00,622 --> 00:34:02,415
Somebody help!
664
00:34:05,126 --> 00:34:06,294
Somebody help me!
665
00:34:06,294 --> 00:34:08,338
Don't worry, Mr. Berle, I've got you.
666
00:34:08,338 --> 00:34:10,799
Give him the signal
and tell him to lower us down.
667
00:34:11,716 --> 00:34:12,926
I can't.
668
00:34:12,926 --> 00:34:14,052
Why not?
669
00:34:14,052 --> 00:34:16,221
If I give the signal, I'll have to let go.
670
00:34:17,764 --> 00:34:20,308
Let me pay now, I'll fly later.
671
00:34:26,147 --> 00:34:27,857
Do something, do something!
672
00:34:27,857 --> 00:34:30,860
Oh! Mr. Berle,
put your leg up here and get in here,
673
00:34:30,860 --> 00:34:32,529
- and then I can give him the signal.
- All right.
674
00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:36,950
Come on, put your leg up.
That's it, that's it.
675
00:34:36,950 --> 00:34:40,078
- Hang on, hang on!
- No, I-- I can't. I can't, I'll ...
676
00:34:41,288 --> 00:34:42,289
[Milton] The other way.
677
00:34:45,208 --> 00:34:47,544
That's it, now. That's it.
No, that's no good ...
678
00:34:52,132 --> 00:34:54,217
Help!
679
00:34:59,306 --> 00:35:00,599
Are you-- Are you all right?
680
00:35:00,599 --> 00:35:02,267
No. Hang on!
681
00:35:06,479 --> 00:35:07,772
Get out of here.
682
00:35:11,067 --> 00:35:12,611
Yes, yes, that's right.
683
00:35:12,611 --> 00:35:15,071
Mr. Berle will be ready for
your appointment in ten minutes.
684
00:35:15,071 --> 00:35:16,489
- All right.
- Good afternoon.
685
00:35:16,489 --> 00:35:18,533
That's okay. I'll be--
686
00:35:18,533 --> 00:35:20,577
- Where are you going?
- I'm going to Mr. Berle's office.
687
00:35:20,577 --> 00:35:22,621
- Wh-What's your name?
- I'm Ricky Ricardo.
688
00:35:22,621 --> 00:35:24,748
Oh, Mr. Berle had specific instructions
to keep you out.
689
00:35:24,748 --> 00:35:26,166
I just want to apologize to him.
690
00:35:26,166 --> 00:35:27,834
No, no, you can't!
691
00:35:27,834 --> 00:35:29,628
No! Mr. Berle, I tried--
692
00:35:29,628 --> 00:35:30,712
Mr. Berle?
693
00:35:30,712 --> 00:35:32,422
That's funny, he was here a minute ago.
694
00:35:32,422 --> 00:35:33,797
- [Lucy] Help!
- Mr. Berle?
695
00:35:33,797 --> 00:35:36,009
[Milton] Somebody help!
696
00:35:41,097 --> 00:35:42,181
Lucy!
697
00:35:42,181 --> 00:35:43,266
Ricky, help!
698
00:35:43,266 --> 00:35:45,060
Help get me down!
699
00:35:45,060 --> 00:35:46,478
What are you doing up there?
700
00:35:46,478 --> 00:35:48,772
I was trying to talk to Mr. Berle.
701
00:35:49,356 --> 00:35:51,107
Talk to Mr. Berle?
702
00:35:51,107 --> 00:35:52,901
Please, get us down.
703
00:35:52,901 --> 00:35:54,569
S-Stay there.
704
00:35:54,569 --> 00:35:55,862
Stay right there.
705
00:35:57,364 --> 00:35:58,989
Just a minute, sweetheart.
706
00:35:58,989 --> 00:36:01,284
- Just a minute. Wait a minute, honey.
- [Miss Trent screams]
707
00:36:01,284 --> 00:36:03,119
Can you hang on? Hang on tight, dear.
708
00:36:03,119 --> 00:36:04,496
- Yes, sir.
- Hang on tight, honey.
709
00:36:05,538 --> 00:36:06,498
Whoa...
710
00:36:08,875 --> 00:36:11,503
Just a minute, honey. I'm all right.
Wait a minute...
711
00:36:14,881 --> 00:36:15,882
I think I got you ...
712
00:36:17,967 --> 00:36:19,928
No, you don't got me.
713
00:36:19,928 --> 00:36:22,847
I'm gonna try to get you over this--
this place...
714
00:36:23,765 --> 00:36:25,100
Whoa!
715
00:36:25,684 --> 00:36:28,268
[Milton] Hang on, Mr. McGillicuddy,
hang on!
716
00:36:28,268 --> 00:36:29,896
[Lucy] Ricky, hang on!
717
00:36:29,896 --> 00:36:31,314
Ricky!
718
00:36:33,483 --> 00:36:35,944
[Milton] Oh, fine, now we can get
on The Ed Sullivan Show
719
00:36:35,944 --> 00:36:37,362
as the Flying Ricardos.
720
00:36:38,988 --> 00:36:40,198
Whoa, hang on, honey.
721
00:36:40,699 --> 00:36:42,617
- Hang on, sweetheart!
- [Lucy] Yes, sir!
722
00:36:42,617 --> 00:36:43,785
[Ricky] Hang on, baby.
723
00:36:43,785 --> 00:36:45,161
[Lucy] Ricky, do something.
724
00:36:46,830 --> 00:36:48,915
[Ricky] Hey, I got an idea.
725
00:36:48,915 --> 00:36:51,126
Let's swing back and forward
726
00:36:51,126 --> 00:36:52,835
until we're over the terrace,
727
00:36:52,835 --> 00:36:55,255
and then we jump down one at a time.
728
00:36:55,255 --> 00:36:57,549
[Milton] Good. I'll go first.
729
00:36:57,549 --> 00:36:59,592
No, hang on!
730
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:02,469
[Ricky] I'm gonna jump first,
731
00:37:02,469 --> 00:37:04,556
then I'll wait for you down there,
you hear, sweetheart?
732
00:37:05,306 --> 00:37:08,560
Now, you stay up there, honey,
until I tell you to come down.
733
00:37:09,352 --> 00:37:12,063
Don't go till I tell you to come down,
honey, you hear?
734
00:37:16,568 --> 00:37:17,944
Are you all right?
735
00:37:17,944 --> 00:37:18,902
I'm-- I'm all right.
736
00:37:20,071 --> 00:37:21,823
- Ricky?
- Yeah, honey?
737
00:37:21,823 --> 00:37:24,367
- What happened?
- I'm all right, sweetheart.
738
00:37:24,367 --> 00:37:25,702
Honey, look out.
739
00:37:25,702 --> 00:37:26,995
Look out, wait a minute now.
740
00:37:26,995 --> 00:37:28,371
Wait until I tell you.
741
00:37:29,372 --> 00:37:31,583
Hold on, dear, not yet, not yet.
742
00:37:32,083 --> 00:37:34,169
Not yet. Not yet, honey.
743
00:37:34,753 --> 00:37:36,087
Now, wait... Now!
744
00:37:39,716 --> 00:37:41,384
Honey, are you all right, dear?
745
00:37:44,596 --> 00:37:45,680
Are you all right?
746
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:47,599
- I-I don't know.
- Okay.
747
00:37:47,599 --> 00:37:48,683
I don't know.
748
00:37:48,683 --> 00:37:50,685
- Did you hurt yourself, honey?
- I'm not sure.
749
00:37:51,186 --> 00:37:52,520
- You okay, honey?
- Yeah.
750
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,189
Hey, what about me?
751
00:37:55,356 --> 00:37:56,815
[Ricky] All right. Jump, jump!
752
00:37:58,568 --> 00:37:59,569
From here?
753
00:38:00,277 --> 00:38:01,362
Well, I did it.
754
00:38:01,863 --> 00:38:04,114
Yeah, but you were two people lower.
755
00:38:05,784 --> 00:38:08,786
Wait, I'll give the man the signal
to let the bucket down.
756
00:38:10,997 --> 00:38:13,792
Why didn't you give the man
the signal before?
757
00:38:13,792 --> 00:38:16,085
How can I give him the signal?
My arms weren't free.
758
00:38:16,085 --> 00:38:18,296
[Ricky] What were you
doing here in the first place?
759
00:38:18,296 --> 00:38:19,672
[Milton] Do something, do something!
760
00:38:20,632 --> 00:38:22,675
[Lucy] I came to apologize to Mr. Berle.
761
00:38:23,218 --> 00:38:24,761
And what are you doing here?
762
00:38:24,761 --> 00:38:27,806
I came here to apologize to Mr. Berle too.
763
00:38:27,806 --> 00:38:30,266
[Milton] Now, look,
I don't make it a policy
764
00:38:30,266 --> 00:38:33,686
to interrupt in family arguments,
but this time I'll make an exception.
765
00:38:33,686 --> 00:38:34,979
Get me down!
766
00:38:36,356 --> 00:38:38,065
G-Go, get the man down.
767
00:38:38,065 --> 00:38:40,360
Yeah, uh, Mr. Berle, just a minute.
768
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:43,154
Uh, Mr. Berle, if I get you down,
769
00:38:43,154 --> 00:38:46,199
will you promise to give Ricky a job
on your new TV show?
770
00:38:48,034 --> 00:38:49,577
I-- Just a minute now.
771
00:38:49,577 --> 00:38:50,829
Mr. Berle?
772
00:38:50,829 --> 00:38:52,121
Anything!
773
00:38:52,121 --> 00:38:53,039
And Mr. Berle,
774
00:38:53,039 --> 00:38:56,084
will you promise to appear
at the PTA benefit tonight?
775
00:38:56,084 --> 00:38:58,585
Anything! I'll do that! I'll do it!
776
00:38:58,585 --> 00:38:59,629
Thank you, Mr. Berle.
777
00:39:08,054 --> 00:39:10,806
All right, I got you.
I got you right here.
778
00:39:10,806 --> 00:39:12,433
-
- Now, wait a minute. Let me get--
779
00:39:12,433 --> 00:39:14,185
Let me get you down the stair now.
Watch it now.
780
00:39:14,185 --> 00:39:16,145
Take it easy. Take it easy.
781
00:39:16,145 --> 00:39:17,605
- Watch it, watch it.
- Take it easy.
782
00:39:21,693 --> 00:39:23,486
- Are you all right?
- I'm just fine.
783
00:39:23,486 --> 00:39:26,656
Take it easy. Take it easy, now.
Take it easy.
784
00:39:29,325 --> 00:39:31,119
- Mr. Berle, are you all right?
-
785
00:39:31,119 --> 00:39:32,745
Come on, we got to get
right out to Westport
786
00:39:32,745 --> 00:39:34,080
if you're gonna do that benefit tonight.
787
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:36,791
Okay, but there's--
there's one thing I got to do first.
788
00:39:36,791 --> 00:39:37,876
Oh, what?
789
00:39:37,876 --> 00:39:39,168
Faint.
790
00:40:20,710 --> 00:40:22,003
- Bartender.
- Yes, sir.
791
00:40:22,003 --> 00:40:23,713
- What'll you have, stranger?
- Whiskey.
792
00:40:23,713 --> 00:40:24,964
Yes, sir. Coming right up.
793
00:40:24,964 --> 00:40:26,174
- There you are, sir.
- Take that away.
794
00:40:26,174 --> 00:40:28,176
I want to get plastered, not waterlogged.
795
00:40:29,344 --> 00:40:30,511
Give me the other.
796
00:40:30,511 --> 00:40:31,429
- Yes, sir.
- Come on!
797
00:40:31,429 --> 00:40:33,431
- Hurry up!
- Yes, sir! There you are, sir.
798
00:40:40,063 --> 00:40:42,940
- Got any pretty gals around this town?
- Pretty gals?
799
00:41:14,389 --> 00:41:15,765
Howdy, stranger.
800
00:41:16,516 --> 00:41:17,600
Howdy, gal.
801
00:41:18,267 --> 00:41:21,312
- Who are you?
- I'm the new schoolmarm.
802
00:41:23,731 --> 00:41:24,815
Schoolmarm?
803
00:41:26,317 --> 00:41:27,360
What do you teach?
804
00:41:28,194 --> 00:41:29,737
What would you like to learn?
805
00:41:39,038 --> 00:41:40,957
You don't need no teachin'.
806
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:43,209
Where did you learn that?
807
00:41:44,710 --> 00:41:45,712
School.
808
00:41:46,212 --> 00:41:48,422
You learned that in school?
809
00:41:48,422 --> 00:41:49,424
Yep.
810
00:41:50,216 --> 00:41:51,217
Recess.
811
00:42:01,227 --> 00:42:02,562
What is that?
812
00:42:03,938 --> 00:42:04,939
That's my horse.
813
00:42:06,399 --> 00:42:08,484
I thought I told you to wait in the car.
814
00:42:15,408 --> 00:42:16,617
It's muy hot outside.
815
00:42:17,493 --> 00:42:18,578
How about that?
816
00:42:18,578 --> 00:42:20,455
An Arabian horse with a Cuban accent.
817
00:42:21,956 --> 00:42:25,501
-
-
818
00:42:39,223 --> 00:42:42,518
Ain't you Dirty Miltie,
the cattle rustler?
819
00:42:42,518 --> 00:42:43,770
Yep.
820
00:42:43,770 --> 00:42:46,064
I'm Dirty Miltie. Who are you?
821
00:42:46,731 --> 00:42:48,190
I'm the sheriff.
822
00:42:49,108 --> 00:42:50,193
Sure he's...
823
00:42:51,235 --> 00:42:53,613
You better watch your step, buster.
824
00:43:17,053 --> 00:43:18,346
Hau.
825
00:43:18,346 --> 00:43:20,056
Easy, you just put
them hand to mouth and go...
826
00:43:24,435 --> 00:43:26,854
Ask 'em silly question,
get 'em silly answer.
827
00:43:27,563 --> 00:43:29,690
Bartender, drinks for everybody,
828
00:43:29,690 --> 00:43:31,526
and that goes for you too.
829
00:43:31,526 --> 00:43:32,652
I'm buying.
830
00:43:34,402 --> 00:43:35,905
Them were the good old days.
831
00:43:36,572 --> 00:43:38,116
What do you mean "were"?
832
00:43:38,116 --> 00:43:39,200
Hey, look!
833
00:43:43,996 --> 00:43:47,208
♪ Here comes the buckboard
And the wagon train ♪
834
00:43:47,208 --> 00:43:48,543
♪ Across the plain ♪
835
00:43:48,543 --> 00:43:52,046
♪ And there's John Wayne, oh! ♪
836
00:43:52,672 --> 00:43:55,675
♪ Them there days were good old days ♪
837
00:43:55,675 --> 00:43:59,219
♪ And it's no wonder
There's a Western craze ♪
838
00:43:59,219 --> 00:44:02,306
♪ Them there days were good old days ♪
839
00:44:02,306 --> 00:44:04,684
♪ And it's good to have 'em back again ♪
840
00:44:13,901 --> 00:44:18,447
♪ Used to be a snap
To run the good old stores ♪
841
00:44:18,447 --> 00:44:21,951
♪ Just rake in the money and relax ♪
842
00:44:22,451 --> 00:44:27,748
♪ The most expensive items were
The sawdust on the floors ♪
843
00:44:27,748 --> 00:44:31,419
♪ And the water that you poured
Behind their backs ♪
844
00:44:35,297 --> 00:44:40,178
♪ Gals were what you couldn't
Find enough of then ♪
845
00:44:40,178 --> 00:44:43,472
♪ All a lady had to do was wink ♪
846
00:44:44,515 --> 00:44:46,851
♪ The women were outnumbered ♪
847
00:44:47,685 --> 00:44:49,520
♪ And the men... ♪
848
00:44:50,188 --> 00:44:54,192
♪ Well, they were men ♪
849
00:44:54,859 --> 00:44:59,155
♪ So a lady never had to buy a drink ♪
850
00:44:59,155 --> 00:45:00,656
♪ You heard what she said ♪
851
00:45:00,656 --> 00:45:03,075
♪ A lady never had to buy a drink ♪
852
00:45:04,452 --> 00:45:07,663
♪ Them there days were good old days ♪
853
00:45:07,663 --> 00:45:11,334
♪ And it's no wonder
There's a Western craze ♪
854
00:45:11,334 --> 00:45:14,337
♪ Them there days were good old days ♪
855
00:45:14,337 --> 00:45:16,922
♪ And it's good to have 'em back again ♪
856
00:45:25,473 --> 00:45:29,393
♪ Rustlers met their makers
All along the trail ♪
857
00:45:29,393 --> 00:45:32,605
♪ Hanging from the limbs of mighty oaks ♪
858
00:45:32,605 --> 00:45:35,065
♪ For robbing banks or jumping claims ♪
859
00:45:35,065 --> 00:45:36,651
♪ They ended up in jail ♪
860
00:45:37,568 --> 00:45:40,446
♪ But they never hung a man
For stealin' jokes ♪
861
00:45:50,414 --> 00:45:52,333
Hey, Dirty Miltie,
862
00:45:52,333 --> 00:45:55,085
I'm gonna shoot you full of holes.
863
00:46:14,397 --> 00:46:15,398
You missed.
864
00:46:19,860 --> 00:46:21,946
He thought that he was--
865
00:46:27,201 --> 00:46:28,577
Oh, no.
866
00:46:38,337 --> 00:46:39,213
Deal.
867
00:46:42,008 --> 00:46:43,050
Hey, bartender.
868
00:46:43,592 --> 00:46:45,219
- Yes, sir.
- More whiskey.
869
00:46:45,219 --> 00:46:46,387
I'm running out.
870
00:46:46,387 --> 00:46:47,596
Coming right up.
871
00:48:06,884 --> 00:48:07,885
Ow!
872
00:48:08,511 --> 00:48:09,844
It was her.
873
00:48:18,270 --> 00:48:21,524
♪ Them there days were good old days ♪
874
00:48:21,524 --> 00:48:26,737
♪ And it's good to have 'em back again ♪
875
00:48:32,118 --> 00:48:34,745
-
-
876
00:48:41,001 --> 00:48:44,505
Thank you.
Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
877
00:48:44,505 --> 00:48:47,383
And we would like to thank
Vivian Vance, William Frawley,
878
00:48:47,383 --> 00:48:49,844
Little Ricky and the entire cast
for their performances tonight.
879
00:48:49,844 --> 00:48:52,388
And our special thanks
to Mr. Television himself,
880
00:48:52,388 --> 00:48:54,556
- Milton Berle.
- Well, that's for sure.
881
00:48:54,556 --> 00:48:58,477
By the way, Lucy and I will be
on Milton's show, November 1st,
882
00:48:58,477 --> 00:48:59,687
over another network.
883
00:48:59,687 --> 00:49:01,897
That's right,
you have to say "another network."
884
00:49:01,897 --> 00:49:03,607
They won't let you say NBC.
885
00:49:05,192 --> 00:49:07,695
I-I didn't say it.
I just used the initials.
886
00:49:09,530 --> 00:49:11,991
- Well, next week on the Westinghouse...
- Okay, Max.
887
00:49:12,533 --> 00:49:13,534
- ...Desilu--
- Over here.
888
00:49:14,326 --> 00:49:15,327
There we are.
889
00:49:15,953 --> 00:49:17,246
What's going on around here?
890
00:49:17,246 --> 00:49:20,248
You just-- Don't mind me, dear.
Just go right on with what you're saying.
891
00:49:21,709 --> 00:49:23,502
As I was saying, ladies and gentlemen,
892
00:49:23,502 --> 00:49:26,547
next week on
the Westinghouse Desilu Playhouse
893
00:49:26,547 --> 00:49:27,547
we're gonna--
894
00:49:28,047 --> 00:49:30,968
Lucy, would you mind
telling me what's going on here?
895
00:49:30,968 --> 00:49:32,511
You're supposed to be a cowboy.
896
00:49:33,179 --> 00:49:35,931
What kind of a cowboy
wears an outfit like this?
897
00:49:35,931 --> 00:49:37,558
A cowboy with horse sense.
898
00:49:37,558 --> 00:49:41,937
Now, look, you draw your gun,
yell ya-hoo, and pull the trigger.
899
00:49:41,937 --> 00:49:43,022
What?
900
00:49:43,022 --> 00:49:46,358
Yell ya-hoo as loud as you can
and pull the trigger. Go on.
901
00:49:49,277 --> 00:49:50,279
Ya-hoo.
902
00:49:53,699 --> 00:49:54,992
This thing was loaded.
903
00:49:55,659 --> 00:49:57,286
I could've shot myself in the foot.
904
00:49:57,786 --> 00:50:00,539
In the hoof, dear. Come on, now,
we gotta get you dressed.
905
00:50:00,539 --> 00:50:02,875
Wait a minute, when am
I gonna tell the folks about the show?
906
00:50:02,875 --> 00:50:05,920
In a minute. Okay, Betty, let her rip!
Come on.
907
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:06,921
Thanks, Lucy.
908
00:50:07,421 --> 00:50:10,799
With that shot,
Circle W Round-up time is here.
909
00:50:10,799 --> 00:50:14,261
Right now, we're rounding up
all the old appliances in town,
910
00:50:14,261 --> 00:50:16,847
and giving really
tremendous trade-ins on them.
911
00:50:16,847 --> 00:50:19,350
Circle W Round-up time means
912
00:50:19,350 --> 00:50:23,229
bigger trade-ins, bigger bargains,
and wonderful free gifts.
913
00:50:23,229 --> 00:50:24,980
- Tell 'em, Ethel.
- Okay.
914
00:50:25,606 --> 00:50:28,567
Now, during Westinghouse
Circle W Round-up time,
915
00:50:28,567 --> 00:50:31,612
if you'll give a Westinghouse dealer
two minutes of your time,
916
00:50:31,612 --> 00:50:36,116
he'll give you a wonderful new shape
Westinghouse lightbulb, absolutely free.
917
00:50:36,116 --> 00:50:37,284
That's right.
918
00:50:37,284 --> 00:50:39,954
And he'll use that two minutes
to demonstrate
919
00:50:39,954 --> 00:50:42,498
one of his new Westinghouse appliances.
920
00:50:42,498 --> 00:50:43,707
Show 'em, Tex.
921
00:50:46,126 --> 00:50:47,835
Howdy, partner.
922
00:50:47,835 --> 00:50:49,713
After a hard day punching cattle,
923
00:50:49,713 --> 00:50:51,966
the only thing that
can get my clothes clean
924
00:50:51,966 --> 00:50:54,426
and free from sand and rattlesnakes,
925
00:50:54,426 --> 00:50:56,971
is this new Westinghouse laundromat.
926
00:50:57,555 --> 00:50:58,639
There, I said it.
927
00:50:59,348 --> 00:51:00,766
Yeah, and the way you said it,
928
00:51:00,766 --> 00:51:03,227
I think we would've been better off
with one of the rattlesnakes.
929
00:51:03,727 --> 00:51:06,272
- I'm sorry, Betty.
- Oh, that's all right, Lucy.
930
00:51:06,272 --> 00:51:09,608
I love telling people
about this brand-new laundromat
931
00:51:09,608 --> 00:51:11,735
that has eight separate washing cycles.
932
00:51:11,735 --> 00:51:15,864
It also has the exclusive
Westinghouse multi-speed agitator
933
00:51:15,864 --> 00:51:18,367
that changes speed to wash everything,
934
00:51:18,367 --> 00:51:20,411
and wash everything cleaner.
935
00:51:20,411 --> 00:51:24,748
Now, show them our beautiful new
two-door 13 cubic foot refrigerator, Slim.
936
00:51:24,748 --> 00:51:27,334
Gladly, ma'am. Gladly.
937
00:51:30,588 --> 00:51:32,756
- This--
- Beautiful Westinghouse
938
00:51:32,756 --> 00:51:37,011
frost-free refrigerator holds up to
six shopping bags full of food.
939
00:51:37,011 --> 00:51:42,141
What's more, our exclusive Westinghouse
cold-injector refrigerating system,
940
00:51:42,141 --> 00:51:45,352
keeps that food fresh
days longer than other refrigerators.
941
00:51:45,352 --> 00:51:48,063
- Tests prove it.
- Yes, ma'am.
942
00:51:48,564 --> 00:51:49,815
Yessum.
943
00:51:49,815 --> 00:51:54,820
And say, this separate
zero-degree Texas-style freezer
944
00:51:54,820 --> 00:51:58,157
holds over a hundred pounds
of frozen foods.
945
00:51:58,657 --> 00:52:02,703
Betty, that refrigerator is at
a special low price now too, huh?
946
00:52:02,703 --> 00:52:04,288
And how about all these freezers?
947
00:52:04,288 --> 00:52:06,040
Yes, everything's on sale.
948
00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:09,835
It's all part of our big
Westinghouse Circle W Round-up time.
949
00:52:09,835 --> 00:52:12,880
It has four burners,
and it doesn't take up much room at all.
950
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:15,716
Yeah, and look how much
that king-size oven holds.
951
00:52:15,716 --> 00:52:16,634
Yeah.
952
00:52:16,634 --> 00:52:21,555
Why, even this new 1960 Westinghouse
imperial roll-about dishwasher
953
00:52:21,555 --> 00:52:24,224
is at a special introductory price.
954
00:52:24,224 --> 00:52:27,811
Yes, now is the time
to see your Westinghouse dealer.
955
00:52:27,811 --> 00:52:29,146
Now, during...
956
00:52:29,730 --> 00:52:31,273
Look out with that thing, will ya.
957
00:52:33,192 --> 00:52:34,526
Scared you, huh?
958
00:52:34,526 --> 00:52:37,154
Circle W Round-up time.
959
00:52:37,154 --> 00:52:39,448
You'll see all the special values
960
00:52:39,448 --> 00:52:41,033
available on laundromats,
961
00:52:41,533 --> 00:52:43,202
refrigerators,
962
00:52:43,202 --> 00:52:45,871
all the wonderful Westinghouse appliances.
963
00:52:45,871 --> 00:52:50,751
So, for your free lightbulb
and the biggest bargains of the year,
964
00:52:50,751 --> 00:52:53,921
see your cooperating
Westinghouse dealer tomorrow.
965
00:52:53,921 --> 00:52:55,881
- And don't forget--
- Hold it.
966
00:52:56,547 --> 00:52:59,259
- Tonight I'm gonna say it.
- It's my line.
967
00:52:59,259 --> 00:53:01,011
- My gun.
- I'm sorry.
968
00:53:01,011 --> 00:53:02,304
I warned you.
969
00:53:05,099 --> 00:53:08,602
You can be sure if it's Westinghouse.
970
00:53:09,436 --> 00:53:13,940
Ayayaya. My show,
the gun won't shoot, I can't say the line.
971
00:53:13,940 --> 00:53:15,359
I didn't even get a lightbulb.
972
00:53:23,826 --> 00:53:24,827
Hmm.
973
00:53:25,327 --> 00:53:26,536
Isn't this amazing?
974
00:53:27,371 --> 00:53:28,455
What a medium.
975
00:53:29,373 --> 00:53:31,250
Ladies and gentlemen, next week,
976
00:53:31,250 --> 00:53:35,629
the Westinghouse Desilu Playhouse
is going to be very proud to bring you
977
00:53:35,629 --> 00:53:38,716
Mr. Joseph Cotten and Miss Virginia Grey
978
00:53:38,716 --> 00:53:41,552
in a most unusual and thrilling
Western story called
979
00:53:41,552 --> 00:53:43,303
"The Day the Town Stood Up."
980
00:53:43,303 --> 00:53:46,515
I hope you'll all be with us next week
for this most exciting Western.
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00:53:46,515 --> 00:53:48,350
Good night and thank you.
982
00:53:51,018 --> 00:53:55,315
The Westinghouse
Lucille Ball-Desi Arnaz Show.
983
00:53:55,315 --> 00:53:57,192
Directed by Desi Arnaz.
984
00:53:57,735 --> 00:53:59,820
Written by Bob Schiller and Bob Weiskopf.
985
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:03,741
Script consultants
Madelyn Martin and Bob Carroll, Jr.
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00:54:04,366 --> 00:54:06,076
Produced by Bert Granet.
987
00:54:06,660 --> 00:54:10,038
Executive producer Desi Arnaz.
988
00:54:10,038 --> 00:54:12,666
Featured in tonight's cast
was Elvia Allman,
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00:54:12,666 --> 00:54:15,294
with Sid Melton, Frank Mitchell,
Walter Pietila.
990
00:54:16,545 --> 00:54:18,338
Give as generously as you can
991
00:54:18,338 --> 00:54:21,091
to the United Community Campaign
in your community.
992
00:54:21,091 --> 00:54:23,218
It helps more people, saves more lives,
993
00:54:23,218 --> 00:54:27,055
saves the time of the contributor
and the volunteer, saves money.
994
00:54:27,055 --> 00:54:29,683
The United way is the most economical way.
995
00:54:29,683 --> 00:54:33,270
Don't forget next week
the Westinghouse Desilu Playhouse
996
00:54:33,270 --> 00:54:36,231
will present "The Day the Town Stood Up, "
997
00:54:36,231 --> 00:54:38,317
starring Joseph Cotten,
998
00:54:38,317 --> 00:54:42,154
costarring Virginia Grey,
James Gregory and Clu Gulager.
999
00:54:42,154 --> 00:54:46,033
The Westinghouse
Lucille Ball-Desi Arnaz Show
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00:54:46,033 --> 00:54:47,618
is a Desilu production
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00:54:47,618 --> 00:54:50,204
brought to you by Westinghouse
and filmed by Desilu.
76004
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