Original subtitles

Westinghouse,

first with the future,

presents...

The Lucille Ball-Desi Arnaz Show.

With special guest star Paul Douglas.

And, of course, Vivian Vance, William Frawley and Little Ricky.

Hello, Daddy.

Oh, hiya, partner.

Bye, Daddy.

Wait a minute. Where you going?

Next door, to the Ramseys'. Cub Scout meeting.

Oh, I thought you had a Cub Scout meeting yesterday.

We did. This is an emergency meeting.

Emergency? What happened?

Didn't you learn to tie your knots?

Yeah, we learned.

Today we have to untie 'em.

Untie 'em?

We couldn't find any rope, so we used Mr. Ramsey's neckties.

Ayayay.

- Hi, Mommy. - Hi, sweetie pie.

Bye, Mommy.

Listen, before you go,

what would the men of the house like for dinner tonight?

I-I-I can't seem to think of anything different.

Oh, I don't care, honey. Just anything.

I don't care either.

Oh, you two are a big help.

All right. Uh, how about steak?

We had steak last night.

I like hot dogs.

Yeah, well, you had hot dogs night before last.

I like hot dogs every night.

- Yeah, you're telling me. - [Ricky laughing]

Come on, Ricky, think of something, will you?

Ah, honey, you decide. You always come up with something good.

Oh, sure, I always come up with something good.

I'm so sick of planning meals.

Have you any idea how many meals I've cooked

in the 18 years we've been married?

No. How many?

Well, now, let's see.

365 days a year,

three meals a day-- that's 15, 18, 19...

1,095 times 18 years.

Uh, 17 times...

Say, oh, five, six...

19,710 meals.

What about last Saturday night when we had dinner at the Ramseys'?

All right, 19,709 meals.

And what about all the times when we went out to restaurants

or we were invited out to dinner?

So I got a few meals off for good behavior.

I'll make it an even 19,000.

Good.

That's exactly how many times you told me the same sad story.

Oh, well, I don't care.

Being a housewife is a big bore.

Cook the meals, do the dishes, make the beds, dust the house.

Cook the meals, do the dishes, make the beds--

Hey, what do you know? It says here that Danny Kaye's going to London

to give another command performance for "Quin" Elizabeth.

I wonder what the "quin" is cooking for Phil tonight.

Oh, listen to this.

"Paul Douglas is starting a new television show

early in the morning next week."

Well, goody, goody. I can watch Paul Douglas

while I cook the meals, do the dishes, make the beds...

All right. All right, enough.

All right, Lucy. All right, that's enough!

Maybe enough for you. I'm just getting warmed up.

Hi, Lucy.

- Oh, hi, Ethel. - Hi.

- Hi. - Hi, Fred.

Well, you ready to go to the market?

Ethel, what are you having for dinner tonight?

With my allowance, anything that's on sale.

Fred, what would you like for dinner?

Somebody else's cookin'.

Come on. Get your shopping bag, and let's go.

Why not? Go to the market, cook the meals, do the dishes,

make the beds, dust the house...

What's eating her?

Oh, you know. It's that popular record,

"The Housewife's Lament," by Lucy Ricardo.

I know all the lyrics.

The last line goes just like this:

"For two cents, I'd go out and get myself a job."

Honestly, for two cents, I'd go out and get myself a job.

I mean it. This time I'm serious.

All right, go ahead.

Go out, get yourself a job.

Get it out of your system once and for all.

What do you mean get it out of my system?

Listen, girl, once you start working,

you'll find out that it's just as humdrum and boring

as being a housewife.

Nothing is as humdrum and boring as being a housewife.

Besides, what makes you so sure you can even get a job?

I didn't have any trouble getting a job as a housewife.

Well, that was only because the boss was in love with you.

Oh, fiddle-faddle.

You don't know how good you got it.

Oh, sure, I got it great.

Besides, if you get a job, who's gonna cook the meals,

do the dishes, make the beds, dust the house?

I'd hire a housekeeper.

A good housekeeper costs 40 or 50 bucks a week.

I know where you can get one for 25.

Where?

Oh, now, wait a minute. Why shouldn't I get 50?

- That's for a good housekeeper. -

Hey, that's a great idea.

- What's a great idea? - Your being my housekeeper.

It would be like found money.

You could work here part-time and still take care of your own house.

- Oh, now, just a minute-- - [Lucy] Why not?

You're over here most of the time anyway. Why not get paid for it?

Hey, I never thought of that.

Well, now, take your time. Think about it.

- I'll take it. - Good!

Wait a minute!

You're not serious about this?

I certainly am. I'm going to get a job.

Good for you, Lucy.

Listen, since when are you on my side?

Since you decided to hire Ethel.

[Lucy, Ethel] Oh.

[Ethel] That is a wonderful idea.

[Lucy] Of course it is.

- Hi. - Hi, honey.

Find anything yet?

Well, there are hundreds of jobs available.

Anything look good?

- They all do. There's just one trouble. - What?

In order to get a job, you have to know how to do something.

Well, now, that just doesn't seem quite fair.

I may have to go back into show business.

Go back?

When were you in show business?

Never mind.

Hey, here's something.

"Broadway producers looking for experienced dancers

up to the age of 25."

So?

I've had years of experience.

They mean dancing, not years of experience being 25.

Hey, Ethel. This is it.

"Paul Douglas is starting a new early morning television program,

and he's looking for a girl Friday."

How do you fit in there?

All a girl Friday has to do is walk across the stage,

pass things to the star and sit and smile into the camera.

And the four things I do best are walk, pass, sit and smile.

Gee, I'd better get going.

- Where are you going? - Into New York.

They're having interviews at two o'clock.

You'd better get busy, Ethel.

Busy doing what?

Clearing the table and doing the dishes.

Starting as of right now, you're my housekeeper.

How do you know you're gonna get the job?

Please, I do not discuss my private life with the help.

Pardon me, but it's quarter of 2:00.

What time are you expecting Mr. Douglas?

He should be in any minute now.

Looks like I'm the only one applying for the job.

You're the only one applying for the job who came two hours early.

Oh.

Well, I-I-I'm usually early.

As a matter of fact, I was born at three o'clock in the morning,

and I wasn't expected until 6:00.

How about that?

Hello. My name's Lorraine Crawford.

And I'm Sue Casey.

Oh, yes. Will you please be seated?

Mr. Douglas will be here any minute.

Hello.

- I'm Joi Lansing. - Oh, yes.

- Will you have a seat, please? - [Joi] Thank you.

Hello. Larri Thomas to see Mr. Douglas.

- Yes. - [Larri] Thank you.

- Hello, Sue. How have you been? - Hi there.

- Lorraine. Wonderful to see you. - Hello there.

Good afternoon, Mr. Douglas.

Good afternoon, girls.

- How are you? - [Lorraine] Good afternoon, Mr. Douglas.

Is Mr. Robinson here yet?

No, not yet.

There are two things about a sponsor.

He's always right, and he's always late.

Yes. Well, we'll start the auditions just as soon as Mr. Robinson gets here.

I'll see you later, girls.

Miss Massey, will you come in and bring the mail, please?

Doesn't he have a sweet expression?

I'll say.

Don't let those cow eyes fool you.

What do you mean?

The eyes may be cow, the rest of him is all wolf.

Really?

How do you know?

His secretary told me.

I don't believe it.

Listen, I'm warning you.

Once you get inside that office, you're in real trouble.

Why?

Did you notice that letter opener that the secretary was carrying

when she went inside?

Yes.

That isn't just for opening letters.

Self-defense.

Oh, my gosh.

Thanks a lot, honey.

That's all right.

Oh. One of those.

Mmm.

Well, maybe so, but I'd still like to be his girl Friday.

Being his girl Friday isn't so bad.

It's what you have to go through Saturday and Sunday.

What do you mean?

I hope you like wrestling, dear.

Wrestling?

That's enough for me.

Well, if he's so horrible, what are you doing here?

I'm a judo expert.

Oh.

Well, good luck, honey.

Thanks a lot.

I like wolves.

Really? A sweet, innocent-looking thing like you?

I may look innocent, but I can take care of myself.

You may think you can, but you don't know him.

Paul Douglas is the biggest wolf in town.

[Larri] How do you know?

A friend of mine was a script girl on his last picture.

Poor thing.

What happened?

She lost 30 pounds.

Mr. Douglas chasing her around the set.

No!

Yeah. The picture started, she looked just like you. Exquisite.

Before the picture was finished, ugh! Skin and bones.

With luck, she'll be out of the sanitarium in about a year.

Oh, no!

Yeah.

- Oh! - Miss--

Hi.

Just what do you think you're doing?

Who, me?

I don't mean your Aunt Sophie.

I heard you telling all those bald-faced lies about me

to get rid of that girl.

And where are the others?

Well ...

You told them the same lies too, didn't you?

Well, yes, I did.

Why? Just why did you do it?

I-I-I was desperate. I wanted the job as your girl Friday.

You must be out of your mind.

I wouldn't hire you if you were the last person on earth.

Miss Massey, phone those girls

and tell them to get back here as soon as possible.

But, Mr. Douglas, I've had show business experience.

I'm Ricky Ricardo's wife.

I wouldn't care if you were Xavier Cugat's wife.

Goodbye.

- Mrs. Ricardo. - Yes?

- Get out of here! -

Out! Out! Out! Out! Out! Out!

I'm sorry, Mr. Douglas.

I...

Oh. Oh, Mr. Robinson,

Mr. Douglas is expecting you.

Thank you. What's the matter, young lady?

I came to apply for the girl Friday job,

but I botched up my chances.

Oh, there, there, now.

I probably wouldn't have gotten it anyway.

I'm nothing but a housewife.

And I guess the people who look at your program

are interested in glamour girls.

Say, you've just given me a great idea.

- I have? - Yes.

- My program is aimed at housewives. - Oh.

And if there's one thing a housewife likes to look at,

it's another housewife.

- They do? - Yeah.

Believe me, in the morning,

my wife looks like anything but a glamour girl.

What does she look like?

Uh, like you.

Oh, dear.

So, a glamour girl is the last thing in the world

she wants to look at on television.

Miss Massey, would you bring your-- Oh. Hello, Mr.--

Hi, Paul. I'm sorry I was late.

Oh, don't think anything of it. Come on in the office. I'll take your hat.

Goodbye, miss.

Oh, wait a minute. I've got a great surprise for you.

Meet your new girl Friday.

- Uh, Lucy. - What?

You don't mind if I call you Lucy, do you?

No. Please do. That's my name.

Well, before we go on the air, let's quickly go over a few things.

- Do you mind terribly? - No.

Uh, you know.

- Here's a schedule of today's show. - Uh-huh.

Now, after I introduce you and do the weather--

Now, look.

If you're going to be on the show, at least try not to act nervous.

Okay, I'll be all right, Mr. Douglas.

- I'll be all right. - Okay. That's fine.

Now, as I say, after I introduce you, I'm going to do the weather.

And while I'm giving the weather reports,

you pick up the proper one of these disks, you know,

like sunny or, uh, cloudy.

- You know what I mean? - Mmm.

And then you put them on the blackboard over there,

see, in the proper places

with these suction cups on the backside there.

Places, everybody.

We're on the air in one minute.

Now, look, you've just got to get over this, please.

Now, after we do the weather,

I'm going to take you over to the Cook's Corner

where we will demonstrate, uh-- we will ...

Are you listening?

Lucy?

- Lucy! - Good morning, early birds!

Thirty seconds!

- Thirty seconds. - I know. I heard the man. Thank you.

Now, look, just pull yourself together,

and when you look into the camera, do as I do.

Just imagine you're talking to one person.

Oh, that's a good idea.

Just talking to one person.

That's right. Forget the other 20 million viewers.

One person.

Twenty million?

We're on the air!

We're on the air!

Good morning, everybody. Hello, and how are you?

This is your new Early Bird program.

I am Paul Douglas,

and I want you to meet Lucy Ricardo, my girl Friday.

My girl Friday!

Good morning, early birds.

This, uh, early bird didn't catch a worm.

She caught a-- a frog in her throat.

But she's going to be just fine. Aren't you?

- Yes, sir. - Mm-mmm.

- Yes, sir. - Yes, all right.

Well, I imagine we might as well get moving now.

And I know all of you early birds want to know

what the weather's going to be like all around the country,

so here we go, uh, with the weather report--

The-- The weather report.

- Go right ahead. - Thank you.

The weather report.

- Oh. - Up, up, up, up, up.

That's it. The blackboard.

That's right.

Now, the New England states are going to enjoy

warm, sunny weather today.

The New England ...

Put the basket down.

Now, warm, sunny weather, New England states.

Ah, you're coming closer.

Now you got it. That's it.

Warm, sunny weather. That's fine.

Yep. That's right.

Boston will hit a high of 72. New Haven, 68. New York, 70.

Now, the South Atlantic states won't be quite so lucky today.

The report from there indicates some cloudiness with a threat of rain.

Aw.

The South Atlantic states.

Yeah, right... in there.

No. A little further this way. That's it.

- Oh, yeah. - Cloudiness, threat of rain.

- Uh... - You're doing just fine. Yes, indeed.

Let's see. Richmond, overcast with a high of 58.

Uh, Charleston, possible showers, a high of 56.

- Atlanta, overcast and probab-- -

...probably rain.

- Miami Beach, early morning overca-- -

Yes, where was I now?

Oh, and Miami Beach, of course, will clear up in the late afternoon. Now...

We're all set?

- Yeah. - Fine. That's good.

Now, as we move over toward the mid and the far west.

The mid and the far--

That's it. Oh.

She's going to be fine. I told you that. Yes, indeed.

Well, in the mid and the far west,

we see we're in for some real spring sunshine.

Real spring sunshine. The Midwest and the far west.

I said sunshine.

- Oh. - Thank you. Now, let me see.

Chicago, St. Louis, Kansas City, all in the low 70s.

Denver, 75. Salt Lake City, 80. And--

Uh...

Well, so much for the weather today.

Now, as I told you before,

we're going to move to the Cook's Corner,

the Cook's Corner,

where I am going to demonstrate the art of cooking a lobster

in your own home.

Now, would you care for a chef's hat?

There you are, Lucy.

You know, it's a very funny thing

how many women are afraid to tackle a lobster

- anywhere but in a restaurant. -

Well, I'll show you how to prepare a dinner

featuring lobster right in your own home.

Now, first, the boiling water has to be salted.

See?

Then a soupçon of cayenne pepper.

And then perhaps a tablespoonful or two of vinegar. You see?

There we are.

What's that for?

That adds verve to the crustacean.

- Oh. - Mm-hmm. Thought you'd like that.

Now, will you get me the, uh, carton, please?

Not there. On the stove. Please, on the stove.

That's it.

Now take the lobster out of the carton.

Oh, it's alive!

Well, of course it's alive.

Now, will you pick it out of the box, please?

Pick it out of the box.

We'll get on with our recipe in just a few moments.

Pick it out. It won't hurt you.

There we are.

Now drop it gently into the boiling water.

In there?

Yes, in there.

You can't put a poor, little, helpless lobster in boiling water.

- It's murder. - That's the way--

That is the way everybody cooks them.

Does that make it right?

Ah, Lucy is some girl Friday.

Put it in there, will you? We're on the air.

I'd rather you'd drop me in that water.

Oh, don't tempt me.

Now, I'm going to drop it gently into the boiling--

Wait a minute! Let me do it.

- Uh... - You're gonna do it now?

- I'll do it, Mr. Douglas. - Fine.

You see, it's very simple, and that's a good girl.

And I've got some real kitchen hints for you housewives.

You see, as you work in the kitchen,

if you just clean up as you go along, you'll just--

Thank you.

You'll discover that you will have lots of leisure time.

All good chefs keep immaculate kitchens.

And this gives you the opportunity to relax, sit down.

And while the lobster is boiling,

you could even have yourself a smoke

or just make yourself comfor--

Well, uh, that's our show for today, folks.

We certainly hope you'll all be with us tomorrow,

so until that time, goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Okay, we're off the air.

- I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Douglas. - It's all right.

It's just that I was so nervous. That's why I made so many mistakes.

- It's all right. - If you let me have your trousers,

- I'd be glad to sew them up. - Not here.

- I won't make this many mistakes tomorrow. - All right, all right.

Please, don't give it a second thought. Don't worry about it.

- I-- I un-- - Thank you. You're nice.

I understand exactly how you feel, and don't worry about tomorrow.

- Thank you, sir. - Because you're fired.

Well, I can't say I blame you.

I guess I ruined your television show.

You may have ruined television.

Mr. Douglas, this is unbelievable!

Mr. Robinson, it will not happen again.

I just fired Mrs. Ricardo.

Fired her? She was the best thing on the show.

The switchboards are swamped with calls from all over the country.

People thought she was hilarious.

Hilarious.

It's a wonderful new concept for a morning program.

Young lady, I'm signing you to a contract for the run of the show.

You two are going to be together for the next three years.

No!

[Ricky] Ethel!

Yeah?

I'm leaving for the club, honey.

Okay. Say, when's Lucy coming home, anyway?

Well, when she talked to me on the phone,

she said she'd be late.

I've been here since five o'clock this morning.

I'm willing to work a 40-hour week,

but I don't want to do it all in one day.

Well, you know, she said they had to sign all the new contracts

and take publicity pictures and all that stuff.

You know, I can't believe it.

Lucy on television.

Yeah, it's wonderful. I'm so happy for her.

[Ricky] You don't look happy.

Oh, I am happy. I just haven't got the energy to smile.

- Well, I got to rush, honey. Goodbye. - [Ethel] Okay.

Hi, everybody!

Well, hi, honey. Congratulations.

Thank you. Isn't it wonderful about my job?

- Sure is, darling. - Wait till you hear about my new contract.

I want you to tell me the whole story, but I'm late,

and I gotta rush to the club, so tell me when I come back.

All right? Good-bye, honey.

- Hi. - Hi, sweetie.

Did you hear the good news about Mommy?

I'm late, Mommy.

- Mr. Ramsey is driving us to the meeting. - Oh.

Congratulations.

Thanks, Ethel. Gee, wait till you hear.

You know, after we signed the contracts, we all went to 21.

Honey, I'd love to hear about it,

but I got to get to my house now and fix Fred's lunch.

Lunch? It's 7:30.

Well, I'm just a little bit behind schedule.

Oh, I see.

When Rip Van Mertz wakes up, send him over to our place, huh?

You see, Fred, my new contract is unique.

It has a three-year clause, noncancelable,

and it's just what I've always wanted.

I knew you'd be excited, Fred.

Honey.

Honey.

- Honey? - What's the matter?

- What time is it? - Four o'clock.

I just got to bed.

I know, dear. I'm sorry, but I have to leave to catch my train.

I'm sorry I wasn't awake when you came home last night.

We didn't even get a chance to say hello.

[Ricky] Oh.

Hello.

- Hello, honey. - Hello.

Isn't it wonderful about my new job?

Huh, what, dear?

What did you say, honey?

Later. Talk about it later, hmm?

Oh. Okay, dear.

[Ricky mumbling] Okay, bye.

Bye.

Well, hi, honey.

Did you get up early so you could have breakfast with Mommy?

No, I got cold.

What's the matter?

- Move over. - Oh. Okay.

- You want a paper? - No, thank you.

Excuse me. I'll get one.

Arriving on track eight, train number 399...

...New Haven, Milford, Stratford, Bridgeport, Fairfield,

Southport, Westport, Norwalk, Darien and Stamford.

- Lucy. - Hmm?

Well, I know this is none of my business, but, uh ...

Well, I've noticed in the last week or so that you haven't looked too happy.

I was wondering if anything was wrong.

Oh, no, not really.

Well, Mr. Robinson's delighted with the show.

Oh, I am too.

It's just that I don't have much time to spend with my family.

But don't you worry about it. I'll work it out.

Well, I'd like to discuss it with you,

but my train pulls out for Scarsdale in two minutes.

- That's all right. - What time is your train?

I have five minutes. I'm meeting Ricky here.

See, uh, I meet him here when he's on his way to work,

and I'm on my way home.

Well, see you tomorrow.

- Bright and early. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Hi, Paul. - Hi, Ricky. How are you?

- I got to rush. Train... - Okay. See you later.

- Hi, honey. - Hi, honey.

Sure nice to get a chance to talk to you.

Nice to get a chance to talk to you too.

- Um... - Uh...

How are you?

Fine. How are you?

Fine.

- You look good. - Thank you.

Gee, I'd forgotten how brown your eyes are.

- They really are. - Yeah, they're brown, yeah.

How's your show?

Fine. How's yours?

Good.

- Going along all right, huh? - Yeah.

- I got to go, honey. - Yeah, me too.

Well ...

- I'll see you. - Okay.

- Bye. - Bye, dear.

- Nice talking to you. - Yeah.

[Ethel] There you are.

- Hi. - [Ethel, Little Ricky] Hi.

Where are you going?

To sleep overnight with Bruce Ramsey.

- Oh. - They're having a pajama party.

- Good night, honey. - Good night, Mommy.

Mommy?

Uh, I mean Aunt Ethel.

Yeah. Here you go.

Come home early in the morning now.

- Good night. - All righty. Night.

Ethel Mertz, I never thought you'd stoop to this.

To what?

You've stolen my child.

What?

He called you "Mommy."

Well, that's a perfectly natural mistake.

He spends more time with me than he does with you.

When I hired you as his sitter,

I never dreamed you'd try to take my place as his mother.

Oh, now, Lucy,

since you're not around to be his mother, then I'm going to be a mother.

Ethel, did you say you're going to be a mother?

Oh, shut up.

Look, Lucy, I didn't ask for this job.

I took it because you were sick of being a housewife

and wanted to go out and get a job, remember?

Yeah.

You're right, Ethel. I'm sorry I snapped at you.

Oh, forget it.

It's just that things aren't working out the way I planned.

I miss my family.

I know it, honey.

It's terrible when a husband and wife

only get to be together five minutes a day.

Fred Mertz, if you open your mouth, I'll slug you.

Now arriving on track seven,

train number 15 from Boston, Providence, Kingston...

Hi, honey.

Oh, hi.

- How are you? - Fine. How are you?

- Fine, honey. - Anything new?

No. What's new with you?

Uh, nothing.

Gee, we never get a chance to talk anymore.

I know.

I didn't even have time to tell you how proud I am of you.

Oh, you are?

Of course, honey. The show's doing wonderful.

I guess you--

You were just wasting your time sitting around being a housewife.

- Oh. - Evidently, you have a lot of talent.

Thank you.

- I'm sorry, honey, but I am awful late. - Yeah, I know. I know.

I ...

So, I'll see you tomorrow.

- Okay. - Same time, same station.

What's the matter, honey?

What's the matter?

I don't like having a job.

I'm lonesome for you and Little Ricky.

I want to be a housewife again.

Well, honey, we want you back too.

Do you?

Of course we do.

I just said I was happy about your career

because, you know, that's what I thought you wanted.

- I don't want that at all. - No?

Well, then, honey, it's a very simple solution.

I mean, all you have to do is just quit.

Oh, sure. Quit.

I got a three-year contract, noncancelable.

That's right.

And if they keep renewing the contract,

it may be years before I get time to spend with my family again.

You'll be an old man with white hair

or even bald.

Our son will be all grown up, and we'll be all shrunken and shriveled.

You'll be Little Ricky, and he'll be Big Ricky.

Hey. Hey, what's the matter?

I miss my family.

She wants to quit, but she has a contract.

Well, don't cry about it.

- I think that can be worked out. - Really?

Yeah. I wouldn't want you to work if you're this unhappy,

and I feel certain that the sponsor would feel exactly the same about it.

Well, would you be willing to talk to Mr. Robinson about it?

I'll talk to him tonight. He's coming to my house for dinner.

Oh, are you sure you can get me out of my contract?

Believe me, Lucy, I hate to lose you,

but if this is what you want, consider it done.

Oh, thank you!

- Hey, that's wonderful, Paul. - Thank you.

I have to rush and get my train now. Excuse me.

- Mr. Douglas, you're okay. - Thank you.

Mr. Douglas, I've been watching your television show,

and I think I know how to fix it.

You know?

- Honey, you know what I'm gonna do? - What?

I'm gonna take the night off. We're gonna celebrate.

You're a housewife again.

Oh, and isn't it wonderful?

Now I can cook the meals and do the dishes and make the beds and dust the house...

♪ And cook the meals and do the dishes ♪

♪ And make the beds and dust the house ♪

[Lucy] There we go.

Thanks, Mommy, for the nice evening.

Thanks, Mommy, for the nice evening.

Well, you're welcome, sweetheart.

- Did you enjoy the movie? - I sure did, Mommy.

That's good. You go on upstairs now and get ready for bed.

I'll be right up to tuck you in, Son.

Uh-uh-uh. His mother will be up to tuck him in.

Your mother will tuck you in.

- Okay. - [Ricky] Okay.

Sure nice to have the family together again.

Oh, it sure is.

And it's gonna be great being able to sleep late in the morning.

- What are you doing? - Making sure no one disturbs me.

Listen, you're so used to getting up at four o'clock in the morning,

you'll probably wake up early anyway.

Oh, no. Before I go to bed, I'm going to take a couple of pills

so I can sleep till noon.

- I'm coming. -

All right!

Okay.

Four o'clock in the morning and knocking the door down.

All right already! I'm coming.

Paul!

I tried to get you on the phone all night. Your line's busy.

Oh, we took the phone off the hook.

Off the hook? Oh, swell. That's just swell.

- Oh, boy! - What are you doing here?

- It's four o'clock in the morning. - Don't give me time signals.

Get Lucy. We're in trouble.

Well, she's asleep. What's the matter?

Robinson-- I talked to him until I was blue in the face.

He won't let her out of her contract.

- Oh, no! - Oh, yes!

And on top of that, if she's not in the studio in the morning,

he's gonna sue the both of you for every penny you got.

- Wha-- - And on top of that,

if she's not there, I get fired.

But you were so positive.

- I know I was positive. - You could talk the guy out of...

Go wake her up, will you?

He's got this whole new ad campaign on the serial.

He's got a fortune in it.

He insists that she be there in the morning

and appear in every one of the commercials.

All right, all right. I'll go wake her up.

- Now, just relax. - All right.

And if we rush, we can just make the train back to New York.

All right.

- Ayayayayay. - ''Ayay" what?

I forgot, she took a couple of sleeping pills.

Ayayayay!

Ah, what do you want from me? Look, now wait just a minute.

- Relax. - Get her awake, will you?

All right, if we miss the train, I'll drive you to the station.

Get going or you can drive me to the unemployment office.

I've got a hunch I'm gonna need some help. You'd better come up and give me a hand.

I had to get into television.

No wonder Ed Murrow has taken a year off.

Honey.

Honey.

Honey. Darling.

Wake up, dear. Wake up. Lucy.

Got to wake her up.

Honey! Dear! You got to wake up, honey.

You got to work in the morning, honey.

- Remember, you got a show to do? - We got to make the train.

Darling. Darling...

We won't even make the show at this rate.

- What are we gonna do? - Wait, wait, wait.

- What? - Listen, I'll tell you what.

You put her coat on, Paul.

- Yeah. - You know, just...

You put her coat on her, I'll throw some clothes on me,

and we'll take her clothes and dress her down at the station.

- And drive in, right? - Yeah.

- Just put her coat on. - I got it.

Ricky. Soon ready?

[Ricky] Yeah, I'm just about ready.

All right, I'll get the dress.

Where is she?

She was there a second ago.

[Ricky] There she is.

[Paul] Lucy!

She's asleep.

Is that a news flash?

We're trying to wake her up, remember?

Oh. How are we going to work this?

We'll have to carry her.

Yeah, I guess so.

Well ...

[Ricky grunts] Oh, boy.

Would you get in back of her, Paul?

- I'll get in back. - Get in back of her, please.

- - Yup.

- Wait a minute. - There.

Now...

- Like a wet sack of cement. - [Paul grunts]

- Now. - Wait a minute.

- Now. - Hold, hold, hold it.

- Let me get in here. - Yeah.

- No. - Wait a minute, Paul.

Get down further.

- It won't work that way. - No.

- Get her up here. - That's it.

Up here.

Okay, wait! Wait. Get her up, get her up high.

- Paul, get her up higher. -

So...

- All right, let's try it. - Try it once more?

If we can get her on my back, Paul, I can carry her.

All right.

There we go.

- There we go. - All right, now--

- Can you hold her? - Yeah.

I'll stay the stern.

Go ahead.

- Wait a minute, Paul. - I'll get the dress.

- Get the clothes, will you? - All right.

- Can you get it? Hurry up, would you? - I got it.

- Two minutes, Mr. Douglas. - Okay. Thanks.

It's all right, I think.

- Hi. - Uh, Paul.

- Yeah. - Listen.

Does Lucy know this new commercial?

Oh, sure. We've been rehearsing it all week.

- Oh, good. - Uh, where is she?

- She's in her dressing room. - Is she okay?

I think so. She's getting dressed all by herself.

I'm glad to hear that.

- Oh... - Did you get her?

Mr. Robinson, don't worry about a thing. We got her, all right.

Good. I'll be in the sponsor's booth.

- Yes, sir. - Places, everybody.

- I'll go get her. - Wait a minute, wait a minute.

I start the commercial, and she comes in when I say, "Okay, Lucy."

That's her cue.

- "Okay, Lucy." - "Okay, Lucy." All right.

- Don't worry about anything. - I won't.

- Five seconds. - All right.

We're on the air. Hit the theme!

Good morning, early birds, good morning.

Now, in case you're wondering what I'm doing

here at the breakfast table instead of at my desk, it's because--

Well, today is the day our sponsor, the American Cereal Company,

unveils its exciting, new breakfast food.

Unlike any other breakfast food,

it contains a special new formula

that guarantees vim and vigor, and it tastes good too.

In fact, it's so delicious,

I understand my girl Friday has been backstage nibbling

before we went on the air.

So, she ought to be bouncing in here any moment.

Okay, Lucy.

Uh, to my girl Friday goes the honor of being the first to tell you the name

of this delicious new breakfast product.

Uh, tell the folks, Lucy.

- Wakey Flakies. - Uh...

Thank you very much.

That's right, folks. Wakey Flakies. Remember the name.

Wakey Flakies are guaranteed to keep you awake

and give you pep and energy for 24 hours.

Absolutely.

Uh...

Well, you know how those things are.

I guess she just didn't nibble enough, huh?

Well, here, I'll fix you some more.

Don't forget, folks, these are brand-new. Wakey Flakies, here they are.

And just wait till she tastes the wide-awake goodness

in this munchy bowl of Wakey Flakies.

Now first, of course, cream and sugar.

Would you, uh, care for some cream?

Cream.

That's right. And I'll have some...

Some people like lots and lots of cream.

Me?

I like 'em dry.

Yes, sir.

There's nothing like a bowl of Wakey Flakies to start the day.

Right, Lucy?

Lucy!

Remember to ask for them at any store by name, folks.

If you'll just, uh--

If you'll just follow me,

I will see how the weather is today.

The weather? Uh...

Lucy!

Are you in pain?

Mrs. Ricardo, you're fired!

- [Paul] In New England, showers... - You hear that?

You're a housewife again!

I know that.

Oh. Not here, dear. No, no. Not here.

Not here, honey.

Honey, why are we sleeping in the kitchen?

Thank you. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.

And a very special thanks to Mr. Paul Douglas.

There's a guy that always gives you a great performance.

And of course, we'd like to thank those wonderful Mertzes.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

I have some very exciting news about next week's Westinghouse Desilu play--

Fred.

Fred!

Oh, there you are.

What are you doing here?

Say, what do you know about 1949?

1949?

Well, it was ten years ago. What do you want to know?

Well, big mouth Ethel says that

Betty Furness knows more about 1949 than anyone.

And I'll be darned if I'm gonna have any woman get the best of me.

Even if she is blonde, beautiful and works for the sponsor.

Who, Ethel?

- No, no. Betty Furness. - Oh.

Come on now, wake up and tell me. What do you know about 1949?

1949, eh?

- '49... - Mm-hmm.

Oh. Uh, I was working with my orchestra.

Never mind that. I mean important things.

Thanks a lot.

- Oh. They had 3D movies in 1949. - Right.

And, uh...

Hey, Betty. How come you know so much about 1949?

Well, I've been studying, Lucy. Prices mostly.

Most things have gone up since then.

But not Westinghouse appliances.

You see, Westinghouse Opportunity Days are here again.

The time to get bigger and better appliances

at better savings than ever before.

- Hey, Lucy. - [Lucy] Yeah?

Remember this?

I'll say. It barely held two ice cube trays.

Well, as small as it was,

in 1949, it was a bargain at 329.95.

But today you could buy this 13 cubic foot,

two-door 1959 Westinghouse refrigerator,

with the exclusive cold injector system and frost-free automatic defrosting,

plus this huge separate home freezer,

all for 1949 prices or less.

That's amazing.

And, say, in 1949, didn't they have...

Canasta games.

Sure. That was 1949.

And that's the year they invented...

Fresh hamburgers.

This new deluxe Westinghouse refrigerator even keeps hamburgers store-fresh

seven days without freezing.

Only Westinghouse has this meat keeper.

Oh, look, Ethel. There's the old button bender.

[Furness] Lucy, that old forty-niner didn't have any of the special controls

you need for today's many fabrics.

But in 1949, it was a real bargain at 299.95.

But today, for up to $50 less,

you can buy this beautiful Westinghouse programmed computer Laundromat

that automatically sets the correct wash and rinse temperatures,

number of rinses and spins for the fabric you're washing.

What are the programs, Betty?

Well, there are separate programs for regular fabric, delicate fabric,

wash and wear, plus new cold water wash.

And all you do is set one dial.

All that for less than a '49 washer.

Wow. That's better than a...

Mambo rumba. That was very big in 1949.

Oh, yeah. I danced one of those and nearly broke my...

Automatic timer.

Ranges certainly have improved.

Just look at the size of this oven.

And yet, the '59 range costs less than a new range did ten years ago.

Hey, look. Here's a new dishwasher just like mine.

See, it rolls anywhere.

And costs much less than a '49 dishwasher.

Gee, Betty, with all these wonderful buys,

I don't see why people hang on to their old outdated appliances.

Neither do I.

I agree.

With these prices, plus big trade-in allowances and easy terms,

everyone should go to their dealers now during Westinghouse Opportunity Days.

"Westinghouse Opportunity Days."

So that's why Betty Furness knows so much about 1949.

Yeah. Listen, 1949.

That was the very first year that Betty got to say...

You can be sure if it's Westinghouse.

Ten years she's been saying that.

Why won't she let me?

'Cause you can understand her.

Okay, all right. See you around, huh?

Sí, señor.

Ladies and gentlemen, next week's show is a big one,

one that we're very proud of.

It's the true story of the seven men

chosen by the Treasury Department to destroy the Al Capone empire.

And it is based on the book The Untouchables written by Eliot Ness,

who was the head of this seven-men squad.

Our stars will be Robert Stack, Keenan Wynn, Barbara Nichols, Pat Crowley

and a special guest star Neville Brand playing Al Capone.

You know, I can honestly say that The Untouchables is one

of the most exciting stories we have ever done.

I urge you to be with us next week.

Until then, good night.

The Westinghouse Lucille Ball-Desi Arnaz Show.

Directed by Jerry Thorpe.

Written by Bob Weiskopf and Bob Schiller.

Script consultants, Madelyn Martin and Bob Carroll, Jr.

Produced by Bert Granet.

Executive producer, Desi Arnaz.

Others in tonight's cast were Pierre Watkins, Doris Packer, Joi Lansing,

Sue Casey, Larri Thomas, Lorraine Crawford, Sam Hearn,

Louis Nicoletti.

Don't forget, next week,

the Westinghouse Desilu Playhouse will present part one of the Untouchables,

starring Robert Stack, Keenan Wynn, Barbara Nichols, Pat Crowley,

with special guest star Neville Brand.

Narrated by Walter Winchell.

The Westinghouse Lucille Ball-Desi Arnaz Show

is a Desilu production brought to you by Westinghouse and filmed by Desilu.