Original subtitles

- - Thank you.

Thank you and welcome to our first show of 1958.

Before we begin, I'd like to tell you again

how happy Lucy and I are to be working with a company like Ford

that makes such wonderful cars.

And how happy we are with our own wonderful Ford.

- I was just getting to that, honey. - Oh, go ahead.

Our new Ford is the best-looking, sweetest-handling,

- smoothest-performance-- - Most fun car on the road. We love it.

Keep going, dear. You're doing fine.

- - Our new Ford is the greatest.

It's a real thrill to drive.

I wasn't gonna say anything. You've already said it all.

- Just go drive one at your Ford dealer. -

- You finish yet? Okay. - Yep.

Uh, during the show, you're going to hear some exciting price news

about the '58 Ford from our very good friend, Tennessee Ernie Ford.

- Oh, I like him. - Yeah.

I'm sure you're gonna be interested in what he has to tell you.

- See you soon. -

Ford...

and the Ford dealers of your community

present...

the new Lucille Ball-Desi Arnaz Show. ...

...with guest stars...

Fred MacMurray...

June Haver...

of course, Vivian Vance, William Frawley

and Little Ricky.

- Come on, Fred. - All right.

What did you want?

I want to show you something while Ricky's up in the observation car. Close the door.

Sit down.

Did you wake me up out of a sound snooze

just to show us another one of those dizzy new hats of yours?

Oh, you got a new hat to go with your new hairdo.

Well?

Well, I admit it looks better than most of your hats.

Oh, Fred.

What is that?

It's a Geiger counter to hunt uranium with while we're up in Las Vegas.

- A Geiger counter? - Yeah.

Now, Lucy, I thought when you asked Ricky if you could go uranium hunting,

he put his foot down.

Oh, he's put down so many feet, I feel like I'm married to a Cuban centipede.

If you do go, he'll find out.

How? While we're hunting uranium, he'll be rehearsing at the hotel.

We? Don't include us.

We're not going along with this harebrained scheme.

Oh, come on, Fred. Who knows?

- Maybe we'll find uranium. - Sure.

If you think I'm gonna hike around

in the blazing hot sun with you two, you're crazy.

Fred, it might interest you to know

that the government pays a bonus of $10,000

to anybody that discovers uranium.

Ethel, I hope you packed my boots and pith helmet.

- You hit him right where he lives. - [Lucy laughs]

How do you work this thing?

- How does it work? - It's easy. Now look. Sit down.

- You turn this on like this. - Yeah.

- And then you hold this up to your ear. - I'll hold it.

And then, when it gets near uranium, it starts to click. Now, listen.

Holy cow. You've already found some.

- Oh, now. Calm down, Fred. - Where did you get this?

That's just the sample that they give you to test the Geiger counter with.

- Oh. - You mean that's all there is to it?

When you hear that clicking sound, you know you found uranium?

Well, sometimes, but not always.

It also clicks if you hold it near a wristwatch or an alarm clock

that has a radium dial, you know.

You beautiful little thing, you.

He hasn't kissed me like that in 20 years.

You haven't made me click like that in 20 years.

- [Ricky] Here we are, son. - Quick. I heard him. I heard him. Quick.

Oh!

Hi.

- Well, hi, honey. - Hi, Rick.

Did you have a good time up in the observation car?

Uh-huh.

Listen, tell-- tell mommy who we ran into that she would like to meet.

- [Lucy] Who, who? - Scotty Lawrence.

Scotty Lawrence, who's he?

He's a boy in my class at school.

We're all staying at the Sands Hotel in Las Vegas.

No, no. I mean, the other one that we ran into

that she would like to meet. Fred MacMurray.

- - Fred MacMurray!

Fred MacMurray.

Yeah, he remembered me from Hollywood.

I told him you'd like to meet him, so he said he'll stop by.

- He'll be here in a minute. - He'll be--

We're gonna meet Fred MacMurray right now?

He's staying at the Sands too.

- Oh, we're all staying at the same hotel. - How do you like that?

Can I go play with Scotty Lawrence?

Well, uh...

It's early, yeah, honey? He's right next door.

- Okay, be a good boy. - I will, Mommy.

- Okay, let me look. You look fine. - All right, son. See you later.

- Are you sure? - How do I look?

- Hi! - Oh, hiya, Fred. Here we are. Come in.

Come on in, Fred. Come on in.

It looks like you've got a full house, Rick. I'll drop back.

Oh, there's always room for one more.

Especially one more like you.

Oh! Well, thanks.

Thanks. But it'll crowd it a little.

- I'll be back. - No, no, no. Come on in.

- We have plenty of room. - Yeah, there's plenty of room.

- Get over, Fred. -

Thank you, you're a gentleman.

Well, aren't you gonna introduce us, dear?

Yes. Fred, the one that yanked you in is my wife, Lucy.

- Hello, Lucy. - Hello.

And the one that pushed you down is our friend Ethel Mertz.

- Hello, Mr. MacMurray. - How are you?

This is my band manager, Fred Mertz.

Always glad to meet another Fred.

- How are you, Fred? - Fine, thanks.

My, this is an unexpected thrill, Mr. MacMurray.

Well, thank you.

I hear we're all staying at the same hotel.

Yes, I understand we are.

How long are you gonna be there?

Well, just a couple of days.

Let's see. We get into Vegas on Wednesday,

and, uh, my wife's arriving up from Los Angeles on Friday.

- Oh. - We'll be there for the weekend.

- Oh. - His wife is June Haver.

His wife is June Haver.

I know.

[Lucy] Oh, yeah.

Oh, Mr. MacMurray, I've always just loved you on the screen.

Well, thank you.

- You're not bad close-up either. - [Lucy, Ethel laughing]

Well, you know, it is kind of cozy in here at that.

I know.

Oh, don't go. We're just getting to know each other.

Oh, I wasn't going, I was just gonna tie my shoe.

Oh.

What's that noise?

- Uh-- My, what a lovely watch. - Thank you.

- June gave it to me. - Oh, it has a radium dial.

- Yes. Uh-huh. - It stopped.

It has.

I mean, the click, click, click.

Oh. Yeah. Huh.

Uh, Ethel, did-- did you see this lovely watch?

- Oh, yes. It's just gorgeous. Yeah. - Thank you.

Uh, and Fred, did you see it?

- It's a beaut. - Isn't it, though?

Yeah.

Uh, Ricky, did-- did you see this lovely timepiece?

Yes, dear. Yeah, I saw it.

- Very handsome. - Yeah. Isn't it?

- [Ricky] Honey... - Mmm?

...Mr. MacMurray would like to tie his shoe.

Oh.

- - Uh, allow me. I'll aid you.

Please, I-- I can tie my own shoe.

- Oh, no, no, no. I'll do it. -

- Look, you don't have to do that. - Oh, yes, I do.

Just think what my friends will say

when they find out that I tied Fred MacMurray's shoe.

- But you're tying the wrong one. - Oh.

I'm sorry.

- Please, let me. - No, no, no. It's all right, I'll do it.

Please...

- - Mr. MacMurray, maybe you're right.

It is a little crowded in here.

Maybe you better go back to your own place

so you can relax and stretch out and be comfortable, huh?

Maybe you're right.

- Is there anything wrong? - No.

No, nothing at all.

You just-- You just tied my shoes together.

Oh.

- Good night, Rick. - Good night, Fred.

Honey, I gotta go down to the Copa Room and rehearse my drum number.

- Okay, dear. - What are you gonna do today?

Oh, I think I'll just stay in bed and catch up on my reading.

Well, that's a good idea.

- Bye. - Bye.

Oh, listen. If you want to take a nap,

- go ahead, I'll take the key with me. - Oh, okay.

- See you later. - Okay, dear.

- Oh, sorry, ma'am. I'll come back later. - Oh.

- Lucy. - Here we are.

- Here you are. Come in, Fred. - Is Little Ricky here?

No, he's gone to Boulder Dam with Scotty and his mother.

- Oh, I got something for him. - What?

"Ricky Ricardo Jr. elected sheriff."

- Oh, where did you ever get that? - [Fred laughing]

I had it printed at a novelty store downtown.

Oh, that's cute.

I'll give it to him when he comes back.

- Okay. - Whoops.

Oh, it's all right, Fred.

Those are the snappiest pajamas I ever saw.

We are going uranium hunting. Go get Ethel. Hurry up.

- Now you're talking. - Make it snappy now.

- All right. - Tell her to really hurry.

Forgot something I need for my drum number.

- What? - My drum.

Anything wrong?

What big ears you have, Grandma.

Oh, these.

I, uh-- I-I was just contacting the field

to see if I could bring in this bed for a landing.

Lucy.

I, uh-- I think I'll take a nap. I'm tired. Good night.

How can I sleep with you annoying me like this.

Lucy.

All right. What are you doing in bed with all your clothes on?

And what is this thing?

Lucy. Is this a Geiger counter?

Have you ever seen a Geiger counter?

No.

Oh, well, this is an electronic Popsicle.

All right. All right.

So the minute that my back was turned, you were going to go uranium hunting.

And I thought I told you distinctly you couldn't.

Well, nothing personal, dear,

but you've never told me anything distinctly in your whole life.

I said no. N-O. Is that clear?

Yes, that's pretty clear.

Are you ready? Oh, uh...

- [Ethel] Hi, Rick. - [Fred] Hi.

What's up?

The jig.

Now, don't tell me that you two were mixed up in this crazy scheme.

I don't think picking up 10,000 bucks is crazy.

[Ricky] What?

The government pays a bonus of $10,000 to anybody who discovers uranium.

Oh, now, look. I already told Lucy

that they discover uranium in northern Nevada. Not around Las Vegas.

Besides, I don't want you out there in the middle of the desert all by yourself.

- You might get lost. - How can I get lost? Fred will be with us.

Oh, great.

With his sense of direction.

He couldn't find his way out of a telephone booth.

Well!

- You're always trying to spoil my fun. - Never mind.

I have to go to rehearsal.

But Ricky...

I don't want to hear one more word about it.

Well, for once it looks like you're stymied.

Don't be too sure. There's more than one way to skin a Cuban cat.

Now, let me see.

- - [Ethel] Lucy?

It's open. Come on in.

- Hi. - Hi. Where's Fred?

Oh, he's still getting dressed.

The way he's carrying on, you'd think it was his opening night.

I figured out a way to make Ricky change his mind about uranium hunting.

You did? How?

I went downtown this afternoon and had this printed.

"Big uranium strike outside Las Vegas."

Yeah. And listen to this.

"Las Vegas was in an uproar today as word spread like wildfire

that one of the country's biggest uranium strikes

had been recorded right outside of town."

What do you think?

I think some of that henna has seeped through and rusted your brain.

What do you mean? I thought that was kind of good.

Oh, that's the worst idea you ever had.

Ricky will never fall for a phony story like that.

Well, at least you'll have to give me an E for effort.

- All I can give you is P for punk. - All right, all right.

Go get Fred.

Okay. We'll meet you down on the patio in 15 minutes, huh?

Okay.

- -

Come in.

Oh, I was just coming in to turn down the bed.

All right. Go ahead, dear. I'm just leaving.

Huh?

Whoa! Oh!

Come here, come here! Quick, quick.

Look! Did you see this?

- Hey. - Henry! Do you know what this means?

I've just cleaned my last room. I'm gonna be rich. Yahoo!

Wait for me! I'll go with ya.

- Oh, hi. - Oh, hello, Lucy.

I'm awfully glad I ran into you again.

I wanted to explain about what happened on the train.

Oh, that's all right.

Well, I'd like to explain anyway.

You see, I wanted to go uranium hunting,

and, well, Ricky said that I couldn't, and I--

I have this Geiger counter...

Are-- Are you upset about something?

No, no. Why do you ask?

You just lit the filter end of your cigarette.

Oh.

You are upset about something, aren't you?

Could I help?

No, I-- I'm afraid I'm beyond help.

Well, why don't you tell somebody about it?

Maybe you'll feel better.

Maybe you're right.

You see, my business manager is very strict,

and I was allowed only a certain amount of money to gamble with

while I'm here in Las Vegas.

And I don't know what happened.

I just kept putting those nickels in that machine...

and before I knew it, I'd lost twice my allowance.

Oh.

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Well ...

You know, I've just been trying to get up courage to call and break the news.

Well, I-- I'm just liable to get killed.

Oh, come now, it can't be that bad.

After all, it's your money.

But you don't know my business manager.

Well, who is this big bully that handles your money?

My wife, June.

You mean a little tiny thing like June

has got a great big guy like you under her thumb?

Well, she may be tiny but she has an awfully big thumb.

Well, I don't get it.

How can you be so meek in real life and be so brave in pictures.

Heavy makeup.

Well, how much did you lose anyway?

$100.

You mean the wife of a big movie star like you

is gonna get upset over $100?

Look, Lucy.

My Junie is a lovely, beautiful, wonderful girl.

But when it comes to finance, she's--

Well, in money matters, she's just a little--

Well, she's tight. That's what she is.

Yeah.

I know what you mean. I'm married to one of those too.

That's why I thought I'd call her at home.

Just to-- I thought I might give her a chance

to calm down a little bit before she gets up here day after tomorrow.

That's a very good idea. Go and call her now and get it over with.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Well, come on right now.

Come on.

Go ahead.

- Lucy, I can't do it. - Oh, Fred.

- I just can't do it. - Oh.

- Look, you're an actor, aren't you? - Yeah.

Well, maybe a rehearsal would help.

How do you mean?

Well, let's pretend that I'm June, and you call me in here.

- How's that? - Oh.

- Maybe that would help. - Okay. Uh, my number is 311.

- 311. - Yeah.

- -

Hello.

Hello?

Just-- Just a minute, please.

What do I say?

Fred, you just be strong and tell the truth.

Tell the truth. Okay.

Hello. Is that you, Junie-Bug?

Yes. Is that you, uh-- What does she call you?

Oh, uh...

Freddie Bear.

What?

Freddie Bear.

- Freddie Bear! - Shh!

Uh, yes. Is that you, Freddie Bear?

What's new?

Well, Junie-Bug, I have something to tell you.

Oh, what is it, dear?

Well, Freddie Bear has been a naughty boy.

Oh, what do you mean?

Well, he lost $100 gambling.

Oh, is that all?

Oh, now, don't you worry about that, dear.

You just go ahead and have a good time, and I'll see you in a couple of days.

Thanks, Junie-Bug.

- Bye. - Bye.

- Hey, that was a cinch. Nothing to it. - See?

Now, go on in there and call June.

Oh, but I just--

By gosh, that was you.

Now you just march in there like a man and call.

- I'm sorry, I can't do it. - Oh, Fred.

I just can't do it. I'll just have to face the consequences

- when she gets here. That's it. - Oh.

Look, how would you like to take your mind off your troubles

and join the Mertzes and me for dinner? It's Ricky's opening night.

- That would be very nice. I'd like to. - Okay. I think that's a good idea.

I think that's a very good idea. Now, don't even think about it.

Hey!

- Now, what's the matter with him? - I don't know.

Oh, there you are. Oh, hello, Mr. MacMurray.

Oh, hello. Fred.

Mr. MacMurray's going to have dinner with us.

- Oh, that's wonderful. - Swell.

- We better get going. It's after 8: 15. - Oh.

Wait for me! Wait for me!

[Ethel] Why is everybody running around?

Pardon me.

- Ricky! Ricky, where are you going? -

What about uranium?

- - In English! In English! In English!

- They discovered uranium outside of town! - I knew there was uranium here!

What are we waiting for? Come on, let's go.

- [Ethel] Let's go! - Let's go!

- I-- -

- Why don't you come with us? - Yeah, come with us.

- ...uranium money? - Yeah! Yeah.

You see, the government gives a $10,000 bonus

to anybody that discovers uranium and then June won't be mad at you.

- Oh, you're right. I'll be right with you. - Yeah!

All right, hurry up.

- - Front!

Oh, hi there.

Oh, there's uranium around here somewhere and I'm going to find it,

or my name's not Tennessee Ernie Ford.

But right now, I think I'll stake my claim right here

because this is something I'm sure will pay off.

This is the new Ford Custom 300 sedan

and it's loaded with more surprises than a pond full of catfish

and more value than any other car on the market.

Now, I understand some of you folks are kind of cautious

when it comes to buying a '58 car.

You've been reading about prices going up.

So, naturally, you figure that's true for all cars.

Well, here's surprise number one,

because not only is the Ford Custom 300

the very lowest priced of the low-price three,

it's actually priced lower than the '57 Custom 300.

And now let's take a look at some more surprises.

Just look at this fresh new styling.

This is the new Ford look that's setting the pace for the whole industry.

And inside, Ford uses fabrics and appointments in this car

you'd pick for your own living room.

And they're not only in good taste,

they're rugged enough to stand off the wildest Indian raids

of your youngsters.

You can get Ford's new Interceptor V8 engine

with precision fuel induction too.

You know what that means.

That's the big savings on gas bills.

Up to 15% when you team it with Ford's new Cruise-O-Matic drive.

And you'll get Ford's brand-new Magic-Circle steering.

Oh, this makes turning easier than swinging on a newly-oiled gate.

You know, all of these fine car features are going to make this car

worth more at trade-in time.

So, if you're looking for this year's top car value,

look over the Ford Custom 300 at your Ford dealers.

It's your low-price ticket to fine-car living.

Fourteen hours and not a single click.

Shut that Geiger counter off will you, Ethel?

At least let's save the battery.

Some uranium hunt.

I thought by now we'd be rich.

The only one that's gonna get rich will be Mr. Geiger.

Forty-five clams to rent one of these things.

And to top it off, we had to rent a car.

Some car.

An old junker. Why couldn't you rent a new car

like Ricky and Fred MacMurray did?

You had to go get chintzy.

Oh, now, let's not start that again.

Okay. All right.

Come on, baby.

Find some uranium for Daddy before Mummy finds Daddy.

- [Lucy] Hi. - [Ricky] Hi.

- Oh, hi. - Hello.

- Hi, Fred. - Hello, Fred.

Listen, did you two discover anything?

Yep. We discovered we're sick and tired of each other.

And we didn't need a Geiger counter for that.

- How about you? - No, not a thing.

No.

- You? - No.

We were sure you found something.

We heard you yelling clear across the desert.

Oh, that wasn't uranium. I backed into some cactus.

Hey, Rick, shouldn't you be getting back for the show?

No, Jack Entratter canceled the show tonight.

- Everybody's out looking for uranium. - Oh.

Yeah. The whole town's gone crazy.

You know, they even put the claims office right in the middle

of the lobby of the Sands.

Well, that's handy.

You know, you can make a fortune and lose it all in the same place.

Well, what do you say we fix a little dinner and go to bed,

and then we can start hunting tomorrow morning?

Oh, hey, there's still daylight. Let's keep looking.

- Oh, Lucy, you've been out there 14 hours. - All right,

I'll look by myself and if I find uranium, I'll keep the entire $10,000.

Oh, no, you don't. Put on your phones. Put them on, put them on, Fred.

All right, I'll get the food and the blankets, you look.

Don't go too far, you might get lost. It's getting dark soon.

We'll just look right around here.

- I hear clicking! - Me too!

- Wow! - I hear clicking!

[Lucy] Ricky, I found ...

- We found it. - Ricky! I found--

- [Fred] Must be around here somewhere. - [Lucy] Right in here!

Ricky! Right in here!

Honey! Honey, you did it!

- You did it! - I knew I'd find it!

- I knew I'd find uranium! I knew it. - [Ethel] What do you mean?

- What do you mean, you found it? - I found it.

- I found it first! - Oh, yeah? I found it.

- Hold it. Now hold it! - I'm the one that said I found it first.

- I said I found it first! I said it! - Just a minute, please!

- Please, now! - You guys, hold it.

There's no need for all this bickering.

This whole thing can be settled easily and fairly.

Certainly.

I found it first.

You certainly did not.

- - I said it. I said I found it first.

I said I found it first!

- Hold it! - Ow!

Now, look, there's only one fair way to settle this then.

We'll split the $10,000 three ways.

- That's agreeable with me. - All right.

Oh, now, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

It won't come out even.

Two of us will get $3,333 and one of us will get $3,334.

Now, who gets the extra buck?

Oh, Fred.

Stay out of this, Ethel. This is business.

Oh.

All right, Fred. You get the extra buck. You're the tightest.

- Thank you, Rick. - You're welcome.

Oh.

- Let me see, where was it? - It's right in... underneath.

[Lucy] Oh. Oh, I can hear it.

Oh, look at this.

- Oh! - [Lucy mimics clicking]

We'll take a sample to the claims office

- first thing in the morning. - Good.

- What's the matter with right now? - [Ethel] Yeah, right now, Rick.

No, by the time we get there, the claims office will be closed.

He's probably right.

Besides, we don't want to leave this spot unguarded all night.

You're darn tootin', we don't.

- Now, let's get organized. - What do we do?

- Fred, you and I will build a fire. - I'll get some wood.

- You girls get the food. - Okay.

- And will you get the blankets? - Sure.

- Here, you take this, Fred. - All right.

- Howdy. - Hey.

- Hi. - Hi.

- You folks must be looking for uranium. - Yeah.

Find anything?

Well, as a matter of fact--

Nope, not a thing. How about you?

Nope. Not a durn thing.

Well, lots of luck.

- Thanks. - Yeah, same to you.

Why did you poke me like that?

You don't go around blabbing to everybody that you found uranium.

- Why not? - Because you don't know who to trust.

Why, in a case like this, you can't even trust your best friend.

- Come on. Let's eat. - Yeah.

Let's eat, huh? Let's eat.

- Hey, Rick. - Hmm?

- Rick. Rick, wake up. - Mmm.

What's the matter? Something wrong?

Rick, how well do you know this fellow, Mertz?

- Fred? - Yeah.

I've known him for years. Why?

Well, I hate to say this, but he's getting in his car.

So?

Well, nothing, except, well,

he's the one that was talking about not being able to trust your best friend.

You know him better than I do.

You don't think he'd try to sneak off and beat us to the claims office, do you?

Just a minute. What are you saying?

I know it sounds awful, but after all, there is 10,000 bucks at stake,

and you know how he is about money.

Now, wait a minute now. Fred Mertz might be a cheapskate,

but he's an honest cheapskate.

Yes, my goodness.

I know this looks kind of silly but my head got cold.

- Good night. - Good night, Fred.

Good night, Fred.

All right, so I was wrong.

- I'm sorry. - Well, you should be.

- Good night. - [Ricky] Good night.

- Ricky. - Hmm?

- Wake up. - Huh?

- I was just thinking. - What?

Why would Fred MacMurray say anything like that about Fred Mertz

if he wasn't thinking the same thing himself?

What are you talking about?

I happen to know that he needs money desperately.

And any man that's as scared of his wife as he is will do anything.

- Now you're being ridiculous. - I am not.

I haven't trusted him since I saw him in Double Indemnity.

Don't be silly. Now, go to sleep.

Go on, go to sleep.

Ricky!

Do you hear that? It sounds like a wild animal.

- - Ricky!

Oh, honey, it's only a coyote.

- - Only a coyote?

Come on. I want to sleep in the car.

- What? - Please, honey. Get the blankets.

- Why sleep in the car? - Please. Please, I'm scared.

- I am so... -

This way.

- Pick up the blanket. - I'm so groggy. I don't know why.

Oh!

What you hit me for?

Where were you going?

We were just going to sleep in the car.

She heard some coyotes and she was scared.

Yeah. Yeah, I think I'll sleep in my car.

No, I don't like coyotes either.

Yeah, we better sleep in our car too.

That old slow thing?

What's slow got to do with it?

Oh-- Uh-- Oh, I hear coyotes run very fast.

Oh, well, then maybe we better all stick together around here, close, like.

Yeah. Yeah, then we can watch each other for-- for protection.

[MacMurray] Yeah.

Yeah, if there's anything a coyote hates, it's a crowd, you know.

- They hate crowds. - Oh, yeah.

Well, maybe we better all just stay around here, close together.

I think so. I think we better all sleep right here.

It's better that way. Be safe.

- All together. - Yeah.

I'd like to sleep someplace. I don't care where.

Fred. Fred!

- What's the matter? - Shh!

Listen, we better get the car warmed up so we won't be left behind

when we all leave for the claims office.

- Come on. - Okay. That's a good idea.

Where's the crank?

- Here. - Okay, turn it over.

How about you doing the cranking for a change?

All right. All right.

Now get behind the wheel and do what I tell you.

Okay.

Now retard the spark and set the throttle.

How's that?

No, no, you turned on the lights.

The spark and the throttle are those two things on the wheel.

Oh.

- Look out! - Put it in neutral!

- What's neutral? - Put on the brakes!

Put on the brakes! The brakes!

- - [Fred] Ethel, the brakes!

- Ricky, wake up. Look! - What's the matter?

The Mertzes are trying to beat us to the claims office.

How do you like that?

Oh, look! Ethel is even trying to leave Fred behind.

- Get the stuff, will ya? - [Lucy grunts]

- Come on. - Trust me. I'm going in.

[Ricky] How do you like that?

What a bunch of crooks.

Oh!

Well, I stopped it.

Oh, for corn's sake, Ethel. Don't you think you're old enough

- to learn how to drive? - Oh ...

- -

What do they think they're doing?

Just as I suspected.

They're trying to beat us to the claims office.

Oh. Come on, Fred. After 'em.

You bet we will.

Hurry up, Fred and Ethel are right behind us.

And Fred MacMurray's right behind them.

Can't you speed it up?

I'm going as fast as I can. What do you expect me to do?

For one thing, you can release your emergency brake.

- Look at that. - Huh?

Oh.

He's trying to pass us. Can't you go any faster?

I'm doing 50 now.

Do you want me to break the sound barrier?

Oh.

- Which way you gonna go? - I don't know.

- Hurry up. Make up your mind. - I think it's that way over there.

Come on, come on, let's go.

Come on, Fred, let's go.

For corn's sake, which way?

What's the matter with straight ahead?

Nobody else went that way.

Let's go!

Come on. Go faster.

Come on, come on. Step on it.

Yeah, c--

Pretty good, huh?

Fred, they're gonna get by.

Oh, no, they're not.

[Ethel] Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Come on, Fred! Come on!

Hurry!

Oh.

Well, there they go.

It's all your fault, you know.

What do you mean?

If you'd brought a decent car instead of this old rattletrap,

we'd be way out ahead.

Yeah. Well, speaking of rattletraps, I wish you'd quit rattling yours.

I hope you're satisfied.

You just pinched your way through $10,000 worth of pennies.

Well, we're not licked yet.

Don't forget the story of the tortoise and the hare.

Yeah. But we've got a broken-down 1924 tortoise.

Look!

Oh.

Fred, I got an idea. Take the detour.

- Boy, what a terrible road. - Yeah. It's all torn up.

I wonder why they didn't put up a detour sign.

You know, what I can't understand is why we haven't passed the Mertzes again.

Yeah.

- Uh-oh. - What?

I don't know how they did it, but I'll bet they switched signs

and sent us on this terrible road.

Oh, what a crafty trick.

Yeah. They're beginning to think like you.

Look!

Hey, my car is stuck.

Oh.

Bye!

Hey!

Oh, here come those miserable Mertzes.

Ignore them.

- Morning. - Howdy.

- This drinking water? - Help yourself.

Thanks.

- Have you got a car I could rent? - Nope. Ain't you got one?

I got stuck about 20 miles back.

How'd you happen to get here?

By rail.

Train don't stop here, how'd you happen to get off?

My arms got tired.

How far is it to Las Vegas?

About 30 miles.

If I'm gonna have to hitchhike, I better get cleaned up.

- Mind if I use your washroom? - Round the back.

Thanks.

Hi. Would you mind checking this tire for me, please?

- You bet. - Thank you.

I'm thirsty, honey.

- Cold sodie pop inside. - Come on, let's get a drink.

- We haven't got time for that. - Sure we have.

We're way ahead of them now. Come on.

Help yourself. I'll be right with you.

- Okay. - Thank you.

- Fill her up. - Fill her up, you bet.

He means water.

He knows what I mean.

Put no water in there till it cools off. About half an hour.

Oh, no.

Well, Ethel, we're poor again.

Oh.

Fred, the Ricardos are here.

I got an idea. Get me the rope out of the back seat.

- What for? - You'll see.

Give it here.

- They must be inside. - Well, don't just stand there.

- Keep a lookout. - Okay.

- Hurry up. They're coming. - Okay. Jump in.

Ricky, hurry up. They've caught up with us.

I don't get it. I'm doing 70 miles an hour,

and I still can't shake him.

How can he go that fast in that old jalopy?

Oh, you know how Fred is about money. He must be whipping it.

What's he trying to do, kill us all?

Well, one thing, we'll all get there at the same time.

Are you talking about the claims office or heaven?

How fast are we going?

I don't know.

The needle on the speedometer went around twice and then flew off.

- I'm gonna honk and tell him to stop. -

Well, the old fool. He's trying to pass me.

- Can't you go any faster? - We'll give it all he's got.

Let's see him stick with us now.

He's still there.

Oh, this is crazy.

- How can their car go this fast? - It can't, unless he's hooked on to us.

Hi.

What a sneaky thing to do.

Yeah.

And to think you were once our best friends.

Well, we're your best enemies now.

- Come on. - [Fred] Wait a minute.

What are you gonna do? Leave us out here on the desert?

Your two best friends?

Your three best friends?

How did he get here?

I hitched a ride on the spare tire.

What a sneaky thing to do.

Yeah. Risky too.

Well, bad luck.

Adios.

Lucy, you can't leave us here to rot in the desert.

If I rot out here in the desert without explaining to June

about that money, she'll kill me.

You're stuck.

What do we do now, dear?

Welcome to the Las Vegas Rotters Club.

Howdy.

- Oh, you folks. - Yes, sir.

- Having trouble? - Well, we're-- we're stuck.

That's too bad.

Say, um, I-I-I-I'd like to have a little talk with you.

Hmm?

And I'd like to have a little talk with you.

I'd like to have a little talk with you.

Pass them! You can do it.

- I'll give you half the money. Come on. - Come on. Come on.

Whoa!

Oh, there it is! There it is.

- [Lucy] We were here first. - [Ricky] We got--

Just a minute. Before you all get into a fight,

you better find out if you've got anything to fight about.

- Anybody got a sample? - Yes, sir, I got it right here.

But don't forget I got a third of that, you claim jumper.

Yeah, me too.

Who are you calling a claim jumper?

You're the one that jumped first,

- trying to sneak out on us this morning. - Yeah!

We weren't trying to sneak out.

We were just trying to warm up the car.

You're the ones that went rushing by trying to beat us out.

We weren't trying to beat you out.

We thought you were trying to beat us out.

I only started because I thought you were all trying to leave me behind.

- Really? - Yeah.

Oh, well, what do you know?

Nobody's a claim "yumper."

Yeah, there's not a "yumper" in the crowd.

- Oh, we ought to be ashamed of ourselves. - Yeah.

Well, we'll split it three ways, huh?

- Okay, fine. - We agree.

Freddie Bear.

There you are.

Junie!

I've been looking everywhere for you. Where have you been?

The most exciting thing's happened.

- What? - We've discovered uranium.

Who's "we"?

Oh. I want you to meet my fellow claim jumpers.

I mean uranium hunters.

The Mertzes and the Ricardos. This is my wife, June.

[Ricky] Yeah, we know you.

Oh, yeah. We've seen you in the movies a lot of times, yes.

Nice to meet you too.

I guess now I can tell you I-- I lost $100 gambling.

Now, you're not gonna be mad.

Junie-Bug?

Look, after all, I'm gonna get a third of $10,000.

- Well, how can I be mad? - That's what I figured.

- About this sample... - Well, what about it?

- Well, it's full of uranium, all right. -

Give us the money. We're gonna split it three ways.

- Wait a minute, wait a minute. - $10,000 in paper.

There's only one thing.

Uranium here in Nevada is found in limonite rock.

This is batholith. Comes from Montana.

- Montana. Were we in Montana? - I don't think so, honey.

Of course we weren't. We found that about 40 miles out of town.

If you did, somebody put it there. You know, this looks like

one of those samples you get when you buy a Geiger counter.

Well, mine didn't come with a sample.

No, neither did mine.

Lucy, what about your sample?

Oh, don't worry about me. I threw my sample away.

- Where, honey? - The minute I got out of the car,

I tossed it-- Oh ...

my gosh.

- What? - I mean-- Now, now, now--

Now, look, gang, we can't let one little mistake stop us.

There's still tons of uranium out there. What are we waiting for? Come on!

Just a minute. There isn't an ounce of uranium around here.

- What do you mean? - What about the big strike?

- Yeah. What about that? - I just found out that that was a hoax.

- Hoax? - Hoax?

Yeah, it all started when somebody got a phony newspaper headline

printed in a local novelty shop.

The whole town's up in arms about it.

Have they any idea who did it?

No, not yet. But they got a clue.

The shopkeeper said it was a tall redheaded woman

staying here at this hotel.

I, um-- I gotta go.

I gotta see a man about a burro I borrowed.

So you lost $100, huh?

[Lucy] Let's go.

Come on, boy.

- Come on. I got get outta here. - Lucy! Lucy, wait!

- Thank you. - Thank you.

We sure hope you liked the show tonight

and that you'll be back with us next month.

In the meantime, remember what Tennessee Ernie Ford said

about the Ford Custom 300.

Yeah. Bless his little pea-pickin' heart.

- Lucy, please be serious. - Oh.

Now, as I was saying, Ford prices are the lowest.

Ernie already said that.

- - Can I get a word in edgewise?

Go ahead. Get a word in edgewise.

Open the curtains, please.

What for?

I just want to remind the folks that this 1958 Ford Custom 300

is the lowest priced car of the low-price three.

It's actually priced lower than the 1957 Ford Custom 300.

- Ernie said that too. - Please.

So see your Ford dealer.

He has lots more to tell you about Ford's low prices on all 1958 models.

Now you're talking. Good night, everybody.

- Adios. - Adios.

The Lucille Ball-Desi Arnaz Show.

Directed by Jerry Thorpe.

Written by Madelyn Martin, Bob Carroll, Jr.,

Bob Schiller and Bob Weiskopf.

Produced by Bert Granet.

Executive producer Desi Arnaz.

Others in tonight's cast were Charles Lane,

Norman Leavitt, Maxine Semon, Bob Jellison,

William Fawcett, Louis Nicoletti, Paul Powers,

Richard King, Rick Warick.

The Lucille Ball-Desi Arnaz Show is a Desilu production.

Your host tonight has been Ford.

There's nothing newer in the world.

Ford also brings you Dick Powell's Zane Grey Theatre

on most of these same stations.

Consult your local listings for day and time.