Original subtitles

Come on, Ricky, time to get up.

I'm out of half-and-half.

Thanks.

What'll you have, bacon or eggs?

I'll have some...

What do you mean, "bacon or eggs"?

Why can't I have both?

Because.

"Because"?

Lucy, you mean to tell me that you're over your food budget again?

Yes, I am, but it's your fault.

My fault?

Yes. If you'd give me more money, this wouldn't happen.

"More money"?

Yeah. You're such a peso pincher.

¿Mira que tiene cosa de decir que yo soy un peso pincher?

Se gasta más... más dinero en la casa que ninguna

mujer que yo conozco...

And don't jabber at me in a foreign tongue.

That is not a foreign tongue, that's Spanish.

Hi.

Hi, Fred.

Ethel tells me your faucet's leaking.

Well, you didn't have to rush over.

I told her two years ago.

I had to make a stop on the way.

Oh, Fred, do you have to fix it now?

Can't you wait till after breakfast?

Do you want it fixed or not?

All right.

What's the matter with everybody?

Everybody's so grumpy every morning around here.

- Grumpy? - Who's grumpy?

Never mind.

You didn't tell me what you wanted. Bacon or eggs?

- What are you going to have? - Bacon.

I'll have an egg.

Okay.

I'll swap you half of my egg for half of your bacon.

Well, that's a sneaky way to get bacon and eggs.

- Hello? -

- Hello? Who? -

- Hello, Jerry. -

- What? -

Hold it a minute, will you? I'm trying to talk on the phone.

Will you hold it a minute? I'm trying...

Hold it, please.

Hold it.

Hold it!

Well!

And he says we're grumpy.

Yeah.

Yes, Jerry, what would you like?

I got you all set for an interview

with Eleanor Harris, a big magazine writer.

- Oh? - Yeah. She wants to do an article

on a really happily married couple, you know, like you and Lucy.

Oh.

Yeah, she wants to spend an entire day with you--

You know, take pictures and everything--

Right from the time you get up in the morning.

Good idea. When does she want to start?

Well, how about this morning?

You better wait till tomorrow morning. We'll be more happily married then.

- Okay, we'll see you tomorrow, 7:00 a.m. - Okay.

Oh, and Rick, she wants to catch you just the way you really are.

So, don't make any preparations for this.

Okay, we'll be just the way we are all the time.

Good-bye.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Hey, hey, hey!

A magazine writer is coming over tomorrow morning

to do an article on you and me.

Oh?

Yeah. She's, she's gonna do an article on a couple of happily married people.

What time is she coming?

7:00.

In the morning?

Yeah!

Ew...

Look...

the idea is that she wants to come early in the morning,

see, and take some pictures and see us exactly as we are.

Good morning.

Hi, Lucy. This is Eleanor Harris. Lucy Ricardo.

- How do you do, dear. - How do you do?

Nice to know you. Won't you come in?

Well, thank you.

This is an awful thing to do to anybody, barging in at this hour of the morning.

I hope you don't mind too much.

Not at all.

We love company, especially in the morning.

- Won't you sit down? - Thanks.

Well, I can see that you two kids are going to get along together just fine.

Oh, certainly, Jerry.

- Well, I'll be running along. - All right.

I think I'll go home and go back to bed.

Good-bye, Jerry.

Well, uh, what should we do first?

Oh, don't pay any attention to me.

You just go ahead and do whatever you'd be doing if I weren't here.

Oh, oh, well, then I'll go ahead and get breakfast.

- Fine. - What would you like?

Oh, thanks. I've already had mine.

Oh, all right.

Pardon me.

Uh, Mrs. Ricardo, do you always dress like that

when you're getting breakfast?

Oh, certainly.

I-I don't like to wear my good things just puttering around the house.

Uh, hold it.

Good morning, darling!

Oh, sweetheart, good morning.

- Angel... - Pet...

Hold it!

Oh, I didn't know we had company.

Yes. Yes, this is Miss Harris,

who came to do the magazine interview, remember?

Oh, yes. How do you do?

How do you do, Mr. Ricardo?

I hope you don't mind our starting the interview so early.

Oh, no, not at all. We don't mind, do we, dear?

Not at all, dear. Won't you sit down, dear?

Thank you.

Did you have a nice sleep, darling?

Oh... yes, I slept like a top.

I awoke refreshed and with a song on my lips.

- Here's to you, sweetheart. - Oh, no. Here's to you, darling.

Oh, say, that's cute. Hold it.

That's fun. Thanks.

Um, what are we having for breakfast this morning?

Oh, the usual things: waffles with sausages,

omelets with ham, eggs Benedict... Take your choice.

Well, it's so hard to decide.

You know, Lucy spoils me terribly.

Oh...

You know, I-I ...

She's such a good manager

with the small amount of money that I give her.

I-I don't see how she does it at all.

Oh, darling, now, anyone could run a household

on the generous allowance that you give me every month.

Thank you, dear.

Well, I'll just have something simple this morning--

Something like, uh... bacon and eggs.

- Okay. - Well, okay.

Hold it!

Good morning!

I brought back the half-and-half I borrowed.

Oh, I didn't know you had company!

Yes, yes, Ethel.

Uh, Miss Harris, this is Mrs. Mertz.

- How you do? - How you do?

I'm their landlady and Lucy's best friend Ethel Mertz.

M-E-R-T-Z.

Well, Ethel, thanks a lot for bringing back the half-and-half,

but see you later, huh?

Huh, honey?

Hi, folks.

How's that little old leaky faucet?

Well, if it isn't the Beau Brummell of the plumbers.

Well, Lucy, I didn't know you had company.

Uh, yes, Miss Harris, this is Mr. Mertz, M-E-R-T-Z.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

I suppose you two have had breakfast.

- No, we haven't. - No, we haven't.

Uh, you don't want to eat with us, do you?

Oh, yes, we'd love to.

Oh, that's marvelous.

I can get a picture of you with your neighbors.

A picture?

Oh, gosh, if I had known I was gonna have my picture taken,

I'd have dressed up a little!

How do you want us...

Oh, just something informal.

All right.

- - What?

I can't hear you.

All right, that's...

Wait a minute.

Hold it, fellas, will you?

Just hold it for a minute.

What was that?

Yeah. Well, look,

as long as the costumes get here

in time for the show, that's all I'm interested in.

Okay, well, thank you very much. Good-bye.

- Hi, Ricky. - Oh, hi, Jerry.

Hey, where's Eleanor, the magazine gal?

She's still with Lucy. She'll be here tonight.

Oh.

Oh, boy...

What are you so tired about?

What am I so tired about?

You see these grubby little hands?

Yes...

Well, these little pinkies of mine have become ink-stained and all cramped

just so that you could become a star of the first magnitude.

What?

Here. Cast your great, big, shoe-button eyes on that.

"Dearest Minnie, how about a date Saturday night?

Will you meet me at the Tropicana Club?

Ricky Ricardo."

Now, what would you think if you got a postcard like that?

I would think I better go and see my "psicko-fisa-chiatrist."

No, no, I mean, if you were a woman.

I think you'd better go and see your "physo-chiatrist."

Come on, what is this?

"To Minnie Finch, 1433 Tudor Street, Bronx."

Looks like my signature too!

I copied it. Pretty good, huh?

Too good, boy. Watch it.

Come on, what is it?

Don't you get it, dad? It's brilliant.

I sent one of these cards to every woman on the Tropicana mailing list--

3,000 of them.

- 3,000? - Yeah.

Boy, Saturday night,

this joint is gonna be overflowing with women.

Pretty good, huh?

Well, it'd better be.

No, no, you keep that one as a souvenir.

I made it out twice by mistake.

Hey, come on, I'll buy you a cup of coffee.

All right. Take ten, fellas.

You know, Jerry, there are times when I think you're crazy,

and there are other times when I'm sure of it.

Really?

Well, that was our first meeting,

and then a couple months later, we said "I do,"

and we've been happily married ever since.

Mm-hmm.

All right, now I'd like to get a few quotes from you.

All right.

Tell me, what's it like being married to an entertainer?

Oh, it's very exciting.

After all, there's no business like show business.

You may quote me.

Fine.

I, um, I suppose you and Ricky had your share of arguments?

Ricky and me? Oh, heavens, no.

Oh, come on, Lucy.

Surely you have a little tiff now and then?

Tiff? Now, you may not believe this, Eleanor,

but Ricky and I have never "tuffed."

"Taffed"?

"Tiffled"?

Oh, that's marvelous.

You're not the jealous type, then, hmm?

Well, what is there to be jealous about?

Well, after all, Ricky is a handsome, charming man

surrounded by showgirls all the time.

Well ...

And he is out every night in a nightclub.

But that's his job.

The last person that told me that

was the wife of a famous piano player.

He told her that he was at rehearsal every afternoon.

And he wasn't?

He was playing all right, but not the piano.

My goodness, she'd been married to a man like Ricky,

she wouldn't have had to worry.

When he says he's at rehearsal, he's at rehearsal.

May I quote you on that?

Oh, sure, sure.

Well, I guess that's the kind of trust that's made your marriage last.

Isn't it?

Hmm?

I said, that's the kind of trust

that's made your marriage last.

Yeah, that's the kind of trust that you have to have in-in that kind of...

in any kind of a marriage.

All right.

Now, how long have you two been married?

Hmm?

I said, how long have you two been married?

13 years. Would you excuse me?

I want to look at the baby.

Well, yes, certainly.

Hello. Tropicana?

I'd like to speak to Mr. Ricardo, please.

Hello, Rick--

Oh. Oh, he isn't there right now?

Do you have any idea where he might be?

You don't. Well, uh ...

No, no message. Thank you.

Mmm! That was a delicious dinner, Lucy.

Thank you. Just something I threw together.

Really?

Those crepes suzette are the best I've tasted in years.

Well, thank you.

Yes, they had just the right amount of cognac.

They were even better than last night's.

Well, thank you, darling.

I think we better get going, Eleanor. It's getting kind of late.

Oh, all right. I'll go put my face on.

Will you excuse me?

- Certainly. - Certainly.

Are you out of your mind?

Shrimp cocktail, steak? This dinner must have cost a fortune.

Never mind that. I want to talk to you.

Where were you this afternoon?

At rehearsal.

All afternoon?

Yeah.

What's the matter with you?

I called you this afternoon about 2:00,

and you weren't there.

- I wasn't? - No.

Well, maybe I stepped out for a cup of coffee or something.

Ha!

What are you driving at?

Nothing, and we can't discuss it now,

while she's here, trying to get a story about how happily married we are.

Give me a cigarette.

Okay.

Oh, never mind, I'll get it myself.

Baby, I was looking for my cigarette case.

I misplaced it.

- I'm all set. - All right.

Here you are, sweetheart.

Thank you, darling.

I was looking for my cigarette case. I misplaced it, so...

I bet it's in that sport coat I wore this afternoon.

- Oh, well, I'll get it, dear. - [Ricky] Oh, thank you, darling.

I'll get my overcoat. I'll be right with you.

Okay.

Oh! Is this it?

Yeah. Thank you very much.

We-We got it, honey. See you later.

Bye, Lucy. Thanks for a nice day.

- Good-bye. - [Ricky] Bye.

Hi. I just saw Miss Harris leave,

and I thought I'd come up to see how everything went.

How were my crepes suzette?

Aw, were they soggy?

No.

Were they heavy?

No.

Well, did they flame?

Yeah, they flamed.

Well, what's the matter?

I just found out that Ricky is seeing another wo-wo...

Ricky's what?

Ricky is seeing another wo-o-... wo-o-o...

What does Ricky want to see another wo-wo for?

Ricky is seeing another woman!

Oh, Lucy, what are you talking about?

That!

I don't get it. Who's Minnie Finch?

I don't know.

All I know is, I called him at the club at 2:00,

and he wasn't there.

So he wasn't there.

Now, don't you give me that.

You can see as plain as I can.

Ricky is a very handsome and charming man,

and he's out late every night

and he's surrounded by beautiful showgirls and-and then, now that.

And I'll bet she's the most beautiful showgirl of all.

And I'm going down to see her and have it out!

Oh, now, Lucy, you're being ridiculous.

Oh, am I?

If some woman was trying to take Fred away from you,

you'd sing another tune.

Yeah, "Happy Days Are Here Again."

How can you make jokes at a time like this?

Now come on, get your coat.

I'll go see if Mrs. Trumbull can take care of Ricky.

Well, how can you tell who lives where? There are no numbers on the doors.

Lucy, does this look like the kind of place

one of Ricky's girlfriends would live?

Well, that just shows you how shrewd she is.

She doesn't think anybody'd look here.

Okay. Let's knock on the door and ask where she lives.

All right.

Suppose she lives here, what'll I say?

Why, just say, "Good evening, madam," punch her in the nose

and get it over with.

I know, I'll pretend that I'm conducting a poli

and I'll-- I'll sort of introduce Ricky's name subtly, you know,

and see how she reacts, huh?

That's a good idea.

Oh, pardon me,

but could you tell me where Minnie Finch lives?

Well, that's her place right there.

You're standing right in front of it.

Thank you.

Do you want to see Minnie or don't you?

Yes, I do.

Well, then, knock!

Hey, Minnie, you got company!

You got to give her a chance to hear you.

You girls looking for me?

Uh, no. I-I don't think so.

Is Minnie Finch at home?

Oh, that's me.

Oh.

Well, what can I do for you?

Well, um, we're, uh. ...

We're-- we're conducting a poll,

and we'd like to ask you some questions.

Uh... hmm...

Say, your name ain't Kinsey, is it?

No. No, we're...

We're conducting a poli

to find out who is the most popular orchestra leader in the country.

Oh, yes, yes.

Do you, uh, happen to know Ricky Ricardo?

Do I kn-- Do I know him?

I'll say I do.

Say, he's mad about me.

Mad about you?

And how.

I got a date with him Saturday night.

Oh.

Do you see him often?

You want to laugh?

Five years ago, I went to the Tropicana on my birthday.

Well, they brung a big cake over to the table,

and Ricky Ricardo come over and kissed me.

And today, five years later,

I get a card asking me for a date.

Oh, boy, when I kiss them, they stay kissed.

I'll show you the card.

I don't get it.

Neither do I.

There, there. See that?

Now, how about that, huh?

Yes, he, uh, he must have been impressed.

Yeah, but not half as impressed as Joe was this morning.

- Joe? - That's my husband.

He's terrible jealous.

I give him an awful time with that card this morning.

He went storming out of here, fit to kill.

- Minnie! - Oh.

Minnie, guess who's got a date tonight with Ricky Ricardo.

- I have. See? - Oh, did you get one too?

Minnie... Oh, girls!

Look what I got in the mail.

- Oh! - Look, Ricky Ricardo!

- [Minnie] Well, what do you know? - Lucy, you know what?

What?

I'll bet you this is another one of Jerry's crazy publicity stunts.

Do you think that's what it is?

Of course it is.

You don't think Ricky would date those three, do you?

Fred, yes. Ricky, no.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Good-bye, girls.

So long, kids.

Let me see that again.

Well, I'm gonna keep mine.

- Does that feel any better? - Yes, much better.

Thank you, Eleanor.

Ricky, what are you doing home?

- [Ethel] What happened? - What's the matter, dear?

We got out of the cab and started to go into the club

and some man walked up and said, "Are you Ricky Ricardo?"

And I said, "Yes."

And he said, "This is for Minnie."

And he hit me. See?

Minnie? Whatever did he mean, dear?

I don't know, but it probably has something to do

with those postcards that Jerry sent out.

Postcards?

Yeah, he had some crazy idea about sending out the postcards

to every woman that had been to the Tropicana

and telling them that I was making a date with them

for Saturday night.

This guy must have been Minnie's husband, I guess.

Aw, you poor baby.

Imagine not trusting somebody that you're married to more than that.

Imagine!

Yeah.

After all, trust is the basis of every happy marriage.

You may quote me.