Original subtitles

...gonna get all fastened up here, young man,

and then you go to bed.

Come on, now. Sit still.

Come on, Ricky, sit still, honey, now. Mama's got to...

Come on, honey. I'm hungry.

I'm ready. We can go as soon as Mrs. Trumbull gets here.

Hey, where are we going to eat?

We're going to meet the Mertzes at that French restaurant.

What French restaurant?

The new one, the one the Applebys told us about. You remember?

Okay. I'll go and see what's keeping Mrs. Trumbull.

Okay. Caroline said that the menus were all written in French.

- Do you know how to read French? - Sure.

- I can read it. - Oh, good.

But I can't understand it.

Oh, great. Well, listen, Ethel took French in high school

and Fred was in France during the First World War.

Let's let them order and then we'll take what they take.

- All right. -

- There's Mrs. Trumbull. - I'll let her in.

- Good night, old man. - Say good night, papi.

- Say good night, honey. - Good night, boy.

Take your blanket. Here we go.

Now, I want you to go right to sleep for Mrs. Trumbull.

You lie down now, honey.

You go right to sleep for Mrs. Trumbull. That's a good boy.

What time'd they say they'd meet us here, Ethel?

- They ought to be here any minute. - Well, I'm hungry.

So am I.

Well, let's see what looks good.

- Fred... - Yeah?

This menu's all written in French.

Well, what did you expect in a French restaurant?

But there's no English on it.

Let me see it.

- There's English here. - Where?

Right here.

"Acme Printing Corporation, union shop."

Oh, very funny.

Well, I ought to be able to figure out something on this thing.

- After all, during the First World War... - "I was stationed in France." I know.

Well, I was.

- You were there exactly three weeks. - Well, I learned a--

I know everything you learned,

and they don't serve "hinky dinky parley vous" here.

Well, I'll just ask the waiter to tell us what these things mean.

Hey, garcon.

Don't whistle!

I know what we'll do.

We'll wait till Ricky orders

and then we'll say we'll have some of the same.

Well, what makes you think he can speak French?

Well, he speaks Spanish,

and all those foreign languages are practically the same.

Oh.

Wouldn't you think I'd recognize something on this thing?

[Lucy] Oh, hi.

- Oh, hi. - Oh, hi. You're late, you know.

- I'm sorry we're late. - Well, he was getting hungry, of course.

Oh, isn't this fun?

It's a real atmospheric type place, isn't it?

Yeah, I feel just like I was in Paris.

Ah, bonsoir, messieurs et mesdames.

Oh, bonsoir.

Bonswear.

Oh, gee, doesn't everything look delicious?

It certainly does.

What is madame's choice?

Uh... Oh, well, it certainly is difficult to make a choice.

Uh, what are you going to have, Fred?

- Me? - Uh-huh.

Oh, I don't know. What are you going to order, Rick?

Well, I thought I'd have this--

Oh, I beg your pardon, ladies first. Go ahead, Ethel.

Oh, uh, I haven't decided yet.

Lucy?

Oh, no, you don't. I started this.

Well, now, is anyone ready to order?

You know, we could starve to death like this.

Now, someone has to go first.

I would gladly go first, but I have already eaten.

Oh, well, I know, I'll count.

One potato, two potato three potato, four...

Please, allow me.

Oh, well, that sounds good. Bring four orders of that.

Madame, I was counting.

You must order first.

Oh...

Oh, well, uh, let's see now.

- I'll have this. - That?

- Yes. I'll have the same. - Me too.

So will I.

- Mesdames, messieurs... - You heard our order.

Will you please bring it?

Please, could I not suggest something else?

No, this is what we want.

Very well.

Four orders of "Closed on Sundays."

Please, allow me.

I will bring you the spécialité de la maison.

Un petit rôti, des petits-pois et quelque chose de pomme de terre frites.

Merci, monsieur.

- Oh. - Oh!

I was never so humiliated in my life.

That is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me.

Aw, honey, you're 'zaggerating.

I am not "zaggerating."

So we can't read French. We're going to have a meal, aren't we?

That's right. Who cares what they call it.

Yes, but suppose you want to order the same thing next time.

Well, I'll just wear the same tie and say, "Bring me some of this."

Now, look, you can laugh all you want,

but we are going to do something about this situation.

- We are? - Yes. We are going to take lessons

and learn how to speak French.

Not me. I had enough trouble learning how to speak English.

- How about you, Fred? - Are you kidding?

Very well, Ethel. They'll be sorry.

People will say "How could those two charming,

sophisticated, cultured women ever marry those uncouth slobs?"

What does that mean, Fred?

Well, "slobs" means--

"Slobs" I know.

What does this "uncouth" mean?

Well, if you're uncouth,

it means that...

that you're not couth.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Now, you listen to me.

You can get just as couth as you want, but just make sure

that it doesn't cost me any money.

"Doesn't cost me any money.

Doesn't cost me any money."

Ethel, did you ever take a good look into his eyes?

He has little dollar signs instead of pupils.

"Doesn't cost me any money."

Oh, it's you.

That's a nice, friendly greeting. I'll see you later.

Oh, come on in. Don't be silly. I was expecting our French teacher.

Our French teacher?

Our French teacher, and for free.

If you'd have been around this morning, you'd have known about it.

I had to go downtown. How'd you do it? How'd it happen?

Well, I got a brainstorm.

I called that French restaurant.

I thought maybe that waiter would be willing to give us lessons.

He said he would, and for nothing.

Oh, Lucy, that's wonderful. Why should he teach us for nothing?

I don't know, and I didn't ask questions. He'll be here any minute.

- Well, I'll be right back. - You don't have to get fixed up, you know.

Fixed up? Don't be silly. I just want to tell Fred I'm home.

- I'll be right back. - All right.

I wouldn't leave you alone in your apartment

with a Frenchman who's going to give you lessons for nothing.

Oh, go on.

Silly.

Ah, bonjour, madame.

Bonjour to you too.

I'm Robert DuBois.

- Well, how do you do. Won't you come in? - Merci.

Is your husband home?

Now, just a minute. Let's get one thing straight.

You came here to give me French lessons.

It doesn't matter whether my husband is home or not.

- But you don't understand. - I understand perfectly.

Are you going to give me French lessons or not?

Oui, madame.

Very well, that's better.

Now, then, shall we start with the menu from the restaurant?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

We will begin the lesson with a few simple words.

Repeat after me.

- Yes? - Le crayon.

La crayawn.

Le crayon.

Le crayawn.

- La plume: - La plooma.

La plume.

La plooooom.

- La plume: - La plooooom.

La...

Oh, no.

Am I too late?

Yes, years too late.

Sit down.

Oh, you're kidding with that, aren't you?

Uh, you remember Mrs. Mertz. This is Robert DuBois.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

Have you learned anything yet?

Oh, sure, it's simple.

La crayawn and, uh, ia ploom.

That's wonderful. What does it mean?

The pencil, the pen.

Do you think you could teach us enough French

so that we could order in any French restaurant?

- Absolument. - He says he can.

We were just starting with a few simple words.

The pencil. Le crayon.

Uh, ie crayawn.

Le crayawn.

La plume.

La ploom.

La plooooom.

- Up here. - Ploom.

- La plooooom. - [Robert] La plume:

La ploooooma.

- Uh, la, el? - Le.

Le, uh, le crayawn.

- La plooooom. - La plooooom.

Bon.

- Bon. - Bon.

- No, "bon" means good. - Oh.

You are doing fine.

You speaking French very well.

Oh, yeah, we're in great shape if the restaurant we go to

happens to serve pens and pencils.

We will begin our vocabulary slowly.

- Table. - [Lucy] Table.

Table. La table.

La tabluh.

La table.

- La tabluh. - Let me try.

Okay.

La tabluh.

La table.

- La tabluh. - 'Bluh.

- Cat. - What?

Cat.

- Cat? - Cat.

Oh, cat, cat, yes.

Le chat.

Gee, French is a funny language. Why are some of 'em le and some of 'em la?

You see, there is difference between French and English.

In French, everything, it is either masculine or feminine.

You Americans don't have that.

You haven't been in this country very long, have you?

Oh, Lucy. That's very funny.

- Mrs. Ricardo, please. - What?

I do not know all the rules of grammar.

I am no teacher.

Oh, I know, I know, you're a waiter.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I am an entertainer.

An entertainer?

Oui, that is why when I found out who you were,

I agreed to teach you for nothing.

I hope I could meet your husband and be in one of his shows.

What's French for "sneaky waiter?"

You never get anything for nothing in this world.

- Lucy, this is really too bad, honestly. - There's strings attached to everything.

- Free French lessons. - Please, do not be angry.

All I want is an introduction to your husband.

- Just an introduction? - Oui.

- Is that all you want? - Oui.

Well, okay. If you keep on giving us free French lessons,

I will introduce you to my husband, but that's all.

Oui, madame: Merci.

Merci, you are very kind.

Perhaps I could use my influence with Mr. Ricardo too.

Merci:

Now we'll start to make a simple sentence.

Uh-huh.

"The pencil is on the table."

Le crayon est sur la table.

Lay crayawn est soor la tabluh.

Lay crayawn est soor la tabluh.

Lucy!

Oh, mon husband. Bonjour.

Are you still on that French kick?

I certainly am, and I took a lesson today.

And it didn't cost you a cent.

Okay, that's fine.

How did it go?

Uh, bon, mo'seer.

Uh, le crayawn est soor ia tabluh.

Muy bien:

Uh, la maison est roosh.

Magnifico.

Gee, we sound so international.

Yeah.

- Too bad we can't understand each other. - Yeah.

Who's your teacher?

Well, uh, the waiter from that French restaurant.

- Oh? - He's coming over again tonight.

Another lesson so soon?

Well, not exactly. No, he's coming over to see you.

Me? What does he want with me?

Well, you see, he's really an entertainer from Paris--

Paris, France, that is--

And he thought if he could just get to talk to you,

he might be able to get an audition at the club

- and possibly be in one of the shows. - Lucy.

- Lucy... - He's-He's really a very... what?

Lucy, there's one word that is exactly the same in Spanish,

in French and in English.

What's that?

No.

But Ricky, all you have to do... He'll give us free French lessons

if you just talk to him once.

Just talk. Say hello, how do you do, anything.

- What's wrong with that? - It wouldn't be fair to the guy, honey.

I couldn't possibly use a French singer at the club.

Why not? A real French act at the club might be a good change of pace.

No, no, no.

Besides, French revues are very popular now.

They're all the rage-- You know, Folies-Bergère type stuff

and the cancan stuff and Moulin Rouge and Toulouse-Lautrec paintings all around

and all that frilly stuff.

You know, as much...

as much as I hate to admit it, you might have something there.

Really?

- Hi. - Hi, kids.

We were so dressed up, we decided to eat out again.

Ethel, guess what? Ricky's going to star Robert DuBois

in a French revue at the club, and we're all going to be in it.

We're all going to be in it?

Hey, hey, Ricky, we can do our Apache dance we used to do.

Watch.

Bop, bop.

That's the part I like, where I hit him.

You should have seen us one night when we got mad.

We darn near killed each other.

Well, that's very clever,

but don't call me and I won't call you.

Oh, Ricky, you're mean.

Okay, so I'm mean.

Now, come on, let's cut out all the auditions

and let me see if I can figure out something about--

- [Fred] Come on, let's go. - You don't have to go away mad.

- I'm not mad, I'm hungry. - We'll see you later, honey.

- Okay. - [Fred] So long.

French revue...

That might not be bad, at that.

♪ Every little breeze ♪

♪ Seems to whisper Louise ♪

♪ Birds in the trees seems to twitter Louise ♪

Yeah, might be all right at that.

Like Chevalier kind of stuff, yeah.

[Lucy] ♪ Every little breeze ♪

♪ Seems to twitter Louise ♪

♪ Birds... ♪

♪ Every little breeze seems to whisper Louise... ♪

♪ Every little breeze ♪ seems to whisper Louise ♪

♪ The birds in the trees ♪

♪ They all twitter Louise.... ♪

Alors.

We seem to be overstocked on Maurice Chevaliers.

Oh, you characters.

He just walked in and played the piano, and I got the idea.

♪ Every little breeze seems to whisper Louise... ♪

Uh, you're in the right place.

Uh, you remember my husband, Mr. Maurice Ricardo.

- How do you do? - Enchanté.

And Mr. And Mrs. Maurice Mertz.

- Monsieur. - Bonjour, bonjour:

Bonjou-- Ah, Monsieur Ricardo. Your wife say I may speak to you

about appearing at your club.

Well, uh, yes. We'd be happy to give you an audition.

Could you come over tomorrow afternoon about 4:00?

Certainement, I will be there. Merci.

- Merci, madame: Merci, monsieur. - Merci, merci.

Au revoir. Au revoir.

♪ Every little breeze.... ♪

Bonjour.

Hey, you know, this idea of so many Chevaliers might be very funny.

We could all be in the same thing. We could all wear the same costume.

We could sing, ♪ Every little breeze.... ♪

- Lucy! - What?

You don't seem to understand that I don't want you in the show.

Listen, Ricky, this whole French revue idea is mine,

and if I can't be in it, you can't use it.

Okay, sue me.

Look, honey, you know I'll manage to sneak in anyway,

so why don't you let me be in it right from the beginning?

Come on, Ricky, you'll save yourself a lot of trouble.

I'm going to save us all a lot of trouble.

I'm going to give orders down at the club

that you're not going to be allowed in there for any reason at all.

You're not even going to be allowed to get into the building.

- That'll take care of you. - Oh, yeah?

- Yeah. - I'll just bet you I can get in anyway.

You want to lose a little more money, eh? How much would you like to bet?

You name it, buster.

$20?

Not very sure of yourself, are you?

$30?

Piker.

50 bucks?

You got yourself a bet.

- Okay. - Okay.

♪ Every little breeze seems to whisper Louise ♪

♪ The birds in the trees: : . ♪

Let's take the dance.

We're going to rehearse that music in there.

One...

Any sign of her yet?

No, sir, haven't seen her yet.

Well, it won't be long now. Oh, here come the boys.

Come on, fellows.

You sure take a long time having dinner.

Cómo está?

[Ricky] Thank you, thank you.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

The Tropicana takes great pleasure in presenting tonight

our new French revue.

Amigos.

♪ I have found the very girl ♪

♪ The one and only ♪

♪ Guaranteed to mend the heart ♪

♪ That felt so lonely ♪

♪ My mind's made up today ♪

♪ And I am on my way ♪

♪ Knowing just what I intend to say ♪

♪ Believe me ♪

♪ I'll forget all other little girls ♪

♪ Valentine, Valentine ♪

♪ You have teeth that look like pretty pearls ♪

♪ And your kisses are a dream ♪

♪ And as for loving ♪

♪ You know all, in fact you set the style ♪

♪ Valentine, Valentine ♪

♪ I'll, I'll walk a mile ♪

♪ To see the smile that's worth the while ♪

♪ That is why I must have Valentine ♪

♪ I'll... walk a mile and spend a while ♪

♪ To see your pretty smile ♪

♪ That is why I must have Valentine ♪

♪ Now you know that I love Valentine ♪