All language subtitles for I Love Lucy S03E06 Lucy Tells the Truth 1080p BluRay FLAC2 0 H 264-BTN_track4_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:27,152 Isn't it awful when something like that happens right out on the stage 2 00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:29,279 and there's nothing you can do about it? 3 00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:30,364 [Ricky] I know. 4 00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:31,907 - Is anybody hungry? - [Ethel] Hey, Fred. 5 00:00:31,907 --> 00:00:34,076 Do you remember what happened to that quick- change artist? 6 00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:36,495 You know, the one who used to change her clothes in the dark 7 00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:37,579 right out on the stage? 8 00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:41,250 Do I? Boy, was she ever mad at that electrician. 9 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:42,292 What happened? 10 00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:46,255 Well, she called for her tights and he thought she said "lights." 11 00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:55,889 Uh... it's very amusing. 12 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:58,141 Oh, I'm sorry, Lucy. 13 00:00:58,141 --> 00:01:01,812 Oh, we shouldn't talk about our old times in show business in front of Lucy. 14 00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:03,230 It makes her feel left out. 15 00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:05,399 - Oh, no, it doesn't. - Yeah. 16 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,818 If you haven't been in show business yourself, 17 00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,444 it must all seem kind of dull. 18 00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:11,488 I've been in show business. 19 00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:14,950 Well, Ethel means real show business not trying to get in Ricky's act. 20 00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:18,245 I've been in show business! 21 00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:20,414 Honey, Ethel means show business, 22 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:24,251 not playing a petunia in a grammar school recital. 23 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:27,421 You think you know all there is to know about me, don't you? 24 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:30,632 Remind me sometime to tell you about my experience in musical comedy. 25 00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:33,385 Come on, Ethel, let's get some coffee. 26 00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:35,137 Hey, just a minute. 27 00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:36,847 You were in musical comedy? 28 00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:39,391 It was before I met you, dear. Come on, Ethel. 29 00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:41,476 Now, wait, wait a minute. This is very interesting. 30 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:43,103 What was the name of the musical comedy? 31 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:46,565 Oh, leave her alone, Ricky. She's just exaggerating as usual. 32 00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:48,442 I am not. 33 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:51,486 Well, what was the name of the musical comedy? 34 00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:54,323 Oklahoma. 35 00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:56,158 - Oklahoma? - Oklahoma? 36 00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:59,202 Oklahoma, and I was the star too. 37 00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:01,872 Yeah? What was your maiden name, Alfred Drake? 38 00:02:03,749 --> 00:02:05,876 Well, maybe I wasn't exactly the star, 39 00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:08,837 but would you believe I was a featured player? 40 00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:12,966 Chorus girl? 41 00:02:14,925 --> 00:02:16,553 Ticket taker? 42 00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:20,014 Lucy, why don't you tell the truth? 43 00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:22,267 You know that you were never in Oklahoma. 44 00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:25,812 I was, too. I spent two weeks in Tulsa once. 45 00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:28,774 Why do you do it? 46 00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:31,693 You always fib and you always get caught. 47 00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:34,696 I do not fib. I never told a fib in my life. 48 00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,323 Oh, there she goes again. 49 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,949 Well, it isn't fibbing. 50 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:40,285 I just like to... color things a little. 51 00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:43,788 Well, why didn't you say so? I'll buy you some watercolors. 52 00:02:43,788 --> 00:02:45,457 Oh, you're all very funny. 53 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,584 - - Very funny. 54 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:51,129 Oh, thank you. 55 00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:54,216 Flowers. 56 00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:56,175 Oh, Ricky, you shouldn't have. 57 00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:57,511 I din't. 58 00:02:58,428 --> 00:02:59,930 You "din't"? 59 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:02,224 - Oh, no, these are for you. - For me? 60 00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:04,685 Who's sending you flowers? 61 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:08,188 "Get well quick. Love, Jim and Dorothy." 62 00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:10,857 I feel fine. 63 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,360 Oh, I know. 64 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:16,071 I didn't want to go to dinner with Jim and Dorothy Wynn tonight, 65 00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:18,490 so I told them that you sprained your ankle. 66 00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,117 There's another one. 67 00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:22,285 Oh, now, what's the matter with that? 68 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:24,287 That's just a little social fib. 69 00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:27,833 Honey, you knew that we were going to have dinner with the Mertzes. 70 00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,793 Why didn't you just tell them the truth? 71 00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:31,377 You can't tell people the truth. 72 00:03:31,377 --> 00:03:32,546 They think you're lying. 73 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:35,465 You have to lie to make them think you're telling the truth. 74 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:37,551 But it's not funny. You got to cut it out. 75 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,886 Now, now, Ricky, don't be too tough on Lucy. 76 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,054 Thanks, Fred. 77 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:42,639 She can't help it if she's a liar. 78 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:46,143 Well! 79 00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:47,894 Oh, Fred didn't mean it like that. 80 00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:50,731 He just means the colorful way you push the truth around 81 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,315 is part of your character. 82 00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:54,401 Yeah. Molly McGee should have such a fibber. 83 00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:57,404 Oh, I think you're all just horrid. 84 00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,865 I could tell the absolute truth like everybody else 85 00:03:59,865 --> 00:04:04,369 if I wanted to be dull, present company not excepted. 86 00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:07,622 [Ricky] Honey, you couldn't tell the absolute truth 87 00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:10,375 if your whole life depended on it. 88 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:13,253 Would you like to risk a little money on that proposition? 89 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,921 I most certainly would. 90 00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,214 I'll tell you what. 91 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:20,010 I'll bet you that you can't tell the truth for, uh ... 92 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,428 For how long, one week? 93 00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:24,681 I'll make easy on you-- one day, 24 hours. 94 00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,516 Okay. 95 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,726 - How much you want to bet? - Make it easy on yourself. 96 00:04:28,726 --> 00:04:30,771 Any part of $100. 97 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:31,855 I'll take it all. 98 00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:34,399 - Can I have a piece of that? - I'd like a little of that, too. 99 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:35,609 My friends. 100 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:38,111 Oh, it hasn't anything to do with friendship. 101 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:41,740 It's just that there are so few sure ways of making a buck these days. 102 00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:45,952 I'll tell you what, I'll take 50 and I'll give you each 25. 103 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,496 - Thank you. - Fine. 104 00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:50,165 Uh... when do you want to start? 105 00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:52,375 It's one minute to 8:00. I'll start on the hour. 106 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:55,378 - Okay, you got yourself a bet. - Okay. 107 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,800 Did I ever tell you the time that Cary Grant 108 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:00,759 asked me marry him? 109 00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:04,721 It hasn't started yet. 110 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:10,392 I just thought I'd have one last fib for the road. 111 00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:14,105 Okay, it's started. For the next 24 hours. 112 00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:16,107 - Okay. - All right. 113 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:22,029 I can hardly wait to hear you tomorrow afternoon, Lucy. 114 00:05:22,029 --> 00:05:23,323 Why? 115 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,367 We're playing bridge at Caroline's, remember? 116 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:27,494 Oh, no, no, no. 117 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,830 I can't spend the afternoon with three women 118 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,248 and have to tell the truth. 119 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,333 I'll call Caroline and tell her I'm sick. 120 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:45,053 Eww... 121 00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:49,599 You'll go? 122 00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:51,560 I'll go. 123 00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,660 - Hi. - Hi. 124 00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:10,704 - How are you? - Oh, look! 125 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,331 - Oh, Caroline, you've redecorated. - Yep. 126 00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:15,000 Changed the whole mood of the room. 127 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,877 My, I'll say. 128 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:19,379 We threw out everything we had that was early American 129 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,548 and started fresh with Chinese modern. 130 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:24,301 Here, let me take your coats. I'll put them in the bedroom. 131 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,219 For heaven's sake. 132 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:29,055 Gee, isn't this something, huh? 133 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,974 - Thank you. - There. 134 00:06:39,940 --> 00:06:42,360 Look at this. 135 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,446 This is really something, isn't it? 136 00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:47,115 And I thought it was awful before. 137 00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:50,243 It looks like... I don't know what. 138 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,454 I do. It looks like a bad dream 139 00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:56,207 you'd have after eating too much Chinese food. 140 00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:57,459 Ooh. 141 00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:59,836 Well, how do you like my new furniture? 142 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:02,255 Oh, we were just talking about it. 143 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,173 Weren't we, Lucy? 144 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:08,178 - What do you think? Do you like it? - Oh, I think it's just lovely. 145 00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:09,554 What do you think, Lucy? 146 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,599 - Uh... - Oh, don't be bashful. 147 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,809 Just tell her what you said to me. 148 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:17,520 Oh, she doesn't want my little old opinion. 149 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:18,813 Oh, but I do, Lucy. 150 00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:22,692 Come on, now. Tell me exactly what you told Ethel about my furniture. 151 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:26,863 Well, uh... I said it looked like a dream. 152 00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:28,657 Didn't I, Ethel? Isn't that what I said? 153 00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,116 Yes. 154 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,744 Oh, well, thank you. 155 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,247 Oh, that's all right. 156 00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:39,417 - What kind of a dream, Lucy? - Well, let's play bridge. 157 00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,629 Lucy, we have to wait for Marian. 158 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:45,006 - Marian who? - Marian Strong. 159 00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:48,134 When you're having four for bridge, it's always polite to wait 160 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:50,971 until the fourth person arrives before you start playing. 161 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,640 - It's the only decent thing to do. - Oh. 162 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,142 Now, let's see. What were we talking about? 163 00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,686 Oh, yes... Caroline's furniture. 164 00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,437 Uh, what kind of a dream, Lucy? 165 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,566 Caroline, I told Ethel that your furniture 166 00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:08,029 looked like a bad dream you'd have after eating too much Chinese food. 167 00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,322 Well! 168 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:12,283 Is that what you really think? 169 00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:13,284 Yes. 170 00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:17,288 Well, Lucy, I hope it gives you a lot of pleasure to insult me. 171 00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:20,208 No, it doesn't. I don't like it any better than you do. 172 00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:23,336 Well, nobody's twisting your arm. 173 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,088 Oh, no? 174 00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:28,717 Before you get too mad, Caroline, I think you ought to know something. 175 00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:31,720 Last night, Ricky and Fred and I bet Lucy $100 176 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:34,472 that she couldn't tell the absolute truth for 24 hours. 177 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:36,182 Oh. 178 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:40,520 So you see, it wasn't my fault. I was tricked into it by old sneaky here. 179 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:44,190 Well, that explains it, but it doesn't make me feel any better. 180 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,359 - - Oh, Marian. 181 00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:52,699 - Hi, Marian. - Hi, Caroline. 182 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:56,119 - How are you? - Hi, Ethel. How are you? 183 00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:58,705 Oh, Marian! That's a new hat. 184 00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,040 [Marian] Yes. 185 00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:06,296 - Do you like it? - Oh, I think it's lovely. 186 00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:09,591 - It's beautiful. - Oh, thank you. 187 00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:10,675 Hi, Lucy. 188 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:12,010 Hi, Marian. 189 00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:16,806 Uh, Lucy, Marian has on a new hat. 190 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:20,309 Yeah, Marian. Take it off. Let's play bridge. 191 00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:22,771 Lucy, what do you think of Marian's new hat? 192 00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,691 Oh, that's a hat, all right. 193 00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,568 Yeah, but what do you think about it? 194 00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:32,155 Well, Marian, if that's the kind of hat you wanted, 195 00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:33,782 you sure got a good one. 196 00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:39,287 No, seriously, Lucy. 197 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,332 Well, Marian, nothing personal, 198 00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:45,085 but I think that's the silliest-looking hat I've ever seen. 199 00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:48,505 Oh, now, come on, Lucy. 200 00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:50,965 Tell me what you think of it? 201 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,258 I am serious. 202 00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,593 It's horrible. 203 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,222 I think there's something you ought to know. 204 00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:59,182 Last night, we bet Lucy $100 205 00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:02,393 that she couldn't tell the truth for 24 hours. 206 00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:06,773 Oh, no. 207 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:10,944 Then that's what she really thinks of my hat. 208 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,695 Come on, let's play bridge. 209 00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:15,698 That is if anyone still wants to play with me. 210 00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:18,451 Uh... Marian, bring your things over here. 211 00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:24,749 Well, come on. 212 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:26,583 Okay. 213 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,798 Lucy, how old are you? 214 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:36,636 How much do you weigh? 215 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,848 What color would your hair be if you didn't dye it? 216 00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:46,229 Thirty-three, 129 and mousy brown. 217 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,691 Anything else you'd like to ask me? 218 00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:50,900 What? 219 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,319 Go ahead, ask me anything you like-- I like it. 220 00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:55,155 It feels wonderful to tell the truth. 221 00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:59,993 Now, she's trying to use psychology on us. 222 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:03,580 No, I mean it. I feel very relieved. It is wonderful to tell the truth. 223 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:06,791 You should try it sometime. We'd all be much better friends. 224 00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,208 Somehow, I doubt that. 225 00:11:08,208 --> 00:11:10,962 Well, you do as you please. I feel great. 226 00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,547 Come on, let's play bridge. 227 00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:14,424 I'm your partner this week, aren't I, Caroline? 228 00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:17,218 Oh, I guess I play with you. 229 00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:20,471 And, Caroline, let someone else keep score this week. You cheat. 230 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:24,893 Yes, cheat. 231 00:11:25,684 --> 00:11:28,479 The last three times we've played, you added up the score 232 00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:29,647 in your favor. 233 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:32,150 I would have said something about it if I hadn't been your partner. 234 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,988 Well, I never! 235 00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:39,449 And you stop jabbering and keep your mind on the game. 236 00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:41,993 You talk so much you don't know what cards have been played. 237 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,331 Well! 238 00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:51,252 Oh, I'm sorry, Ethel, but it's so true. 239 00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:54,547 Marian, stop cackling. 240 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,883 I've been waiting ten years for you to lay that egg. 241 00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:05,099 For heaven's sake, Caroline, 242 00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,893 when are you going to get a new deck of cards? 243 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:10,146 We've been playing with this same dirty old deck since I've known you. 244 00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:22,158 Hey, how about that fella? 245 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:24,285 Listen, Ricky, show your Uncle Fred 246 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,287 how I taught you how to wave bye-bye this morning. 247 00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:27,705 - Show him. - Bye-bye. 248 00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,540 - Bye-bye. - Bye-bye, Ricky. 249 00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:30,541 - Bye-bye. - Bye-bye. 250 00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:34,671 Looks more like he's teaching us how to wave bye-bye. 251 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,214 Well, he did it this morning. 252 00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:37,881 Now, look here, old man. 253 00:12:37,881 --> 00:12:40,510 You're going to have to learn how to perform on cue 254 00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:42,553 if you're going to be my son. 255 00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:44,054 Hi. 256 00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:45,473 Oh, here's your mommy. 257 00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:46,891 Oh, that's your mommy. 258 00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:50,019 - Was he a good boy? - He was an angel. 259 00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:52,689 - Where's Ethel? - She'll be right up. Did you feed him? 260 00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:54,857 Yeah, I followed your instructions to the letter. 261 00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:57,318 Looks like you fed a whole nursery full of babies. 262 00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:58,736 Well, he was hungry. 263 00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:00,446 Come on, honey, we go beddy-bye. 264 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:01,530 - Bye, old man. - Bye. 265 00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:02,907 - Bye. - Bye-bye. 266 00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:05,285 They never do what you want them to do when you want them to do it. 267 00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,369 I know it. I can't help it. 268 00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:08,746 - Hi. - Hi. 269 00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:11,541 - How was the bridge game? - Oh, yeah, how did we do? 270 00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:13,918 - Is the bet all over? - Not at all. 271 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,545 - What? - Not at all? 272 00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:18,047 She never told one lie all afternoon. 273 00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:19,256 I don't believe it. 274 00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:21,467 What did she do, tape her mouth shut? 275 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:22,552 I wish she had. 276 00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:25,471 She not only told the truth, but she got brutally frank 277 00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:28,182 and told us all exactly what she thought of us. 278 00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:32,102 Oh, boy, I wish I'd have been there. 279 00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:34,147 Oh, that must have been good. 280 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,524 When you two hyenas get through laughing, 281 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:38,943 you can go dig up a hundred bucks between you. 282 00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:41,904 Oh, don't be silly. She won't be able to keep it up. 283 00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:43,155 Not Lucy. 284 00:13:44,699 --> 00:13:46,409 What's so funny? 285 00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:49,287 Ethel was telling us what happened when you told the girls 286 00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:50,371 the truth this afternoon. 287 00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:53,249 Oh, yeah, they all got a little miffed, but I don't care. 288 00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:55,418 I feel wonderful telling the truth. 289 00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:56,919 Well, I don't feel so wonderful 290 00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:59,380 finding out you hate to play bridge with me. 291 00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:02,300 Well, I wouldn't if you'd stop gabbing once in a while. 292 00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:05,595 Oh, you shut up, Fred. You're no rose. 293 00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:07,804 - [Lucy] I'll say he's not. - Yeah. 294 00:14:07,804 --> 00:14:10,266 Why don't you buy Ethel a new dress once in a while? 295 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,226 Yeah, you tell him, Lucy. 296 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,812 If you weren't such a tightwad, 297 00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,689 she wouldn't have to go around looking so tacky. 298 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,607 - Tightwad? - Tacky? 299 00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:21,444 Come on, let's get out of here. We don't have to be insulted. 300 00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:22,612 Now, wait a minute. 301 00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:24,447 Wait a minute, Fred and Ethel. 302 00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:26,991 I don't blame you for being a little huffy 303 00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:30,912 but after all, we were the ones who forced Lucy to tell the truth. 304 00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:32,121 Well, that's right. 305 00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:36,084 And besides, a few truthful criticisms would do us all a lot of good. 306 00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:37,543 Oh, that's easy for you to say. 307 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,295 She hasn't said anything about you yet. 308 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:40,296 Yeah. 309 00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:42,924 Okay. 310 00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:49,847 Go ahead, Lucy, tell me my faults. 311 00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:51,682 Tell me what you really think of me. 312 00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:55,269 I think you are the most handsome, the most wonderful, 313 00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:58,940 the cleverest and the most talented man in the whole world. 314 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,407 The truth didn't hurt me. 315 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,200 Oh, brother. 316 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,204 Can you think of any other faults of mine? 317 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,958 Yes, you're hammy, you're stubborn and you're a coward. 318 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,044 A coward? 319 00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:21,671 How do you like it now? 320 00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:26,175 - She's really telling him, eh, Tightwad? - You said it, Tacky. 321 00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:30,096 Now, let's wait a minute. 322 00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,849 What is this business about being a coward? 323 00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:34,308 I'm not afraid of anything. 324 00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:37,145 Yeah, he proves it every time he steps on the stage. 325 00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:40,022 Never mind the wisecracks. 326 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,025 What is this coward routine? 327 00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:46,320 You are afraid that if I got half a chance at a career 328 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,156 that I would be the star of the family. 329 00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:50,199 Oh, I see. You would, eh? 330 00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:53,035 I have more talent in my little finger 331 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,246 than most people have in their whole body. 332 00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:57,415 Uh-huh... well, I'll tell you what: 333 00:15:57,415 --> 00:16:00,418 I'm going to an audition tonight. 334 00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:03,629 They're casting for one of the biggest shows in television. 335 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:05,214 Why don't you come along? 336 00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:06,466 Okay, what'll I do? 337 00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:09,010 Well, why don't you let them audition your little finger? 338 00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:11,012 What does it do-- sing, dance? 339 00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:14,098 Never mind. I'll show you. Ethel, will you take care of Little Ricky? 340 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:15,975 Thank you. I'll go get ready. 341 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,394 What's the matter with you, Ricky? 342 00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,563 Yeah, you can't run out to an audition. 343 00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:23,274 If she doesn't tell a lie by 8:00, we're out a hundred bucks. 344 00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:25,067 I know, I know. 345 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,945 I just found a way how to-- a way to win the bet 346 00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:31,324 and keep her quiet about show business at the same time. 347 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,408 You lost me. 348 00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:36,329 Well, look, I know the way that they conduct those auditions, 349 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,414 and she won't get to first base 350 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:40,291 unless she can prove to them 351 00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:42,376 that she's got some experience. 352 00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,504 - I don't get it. - I do. 353 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:48,925 If she lies about her experience to get a job, we win the bet, 354 00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:51,928 and if she doesn't lie about her experience, 355 00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:53,846 - she won't get the audition. - Right. 356 00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:56,891 Now, wait a minute, wait a minute. Just give this to me slowly. 357 00:16:56,891 --> 00:17:00,895 - Now, look, if she doesn't win... - I can't understand where we come into... 358 00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:06,317 Now, let me see. Who's next? 359 00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:09,237 Mercedes Minch. 360 00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:12,949 You've got a nice list of credits here. 361 00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:15,034 "Sings like a chicken." 362 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,744 Sings like a chicken? 363 00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:21,874 Well, this won't be the first "fowl" singer I've heard today. 364 00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:28,798 Well, go right ahead, please. 365 00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:00,454 Well, thank you very much. 366 00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:02,790 Don't call us. We'll call you when we need you. 367 00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:12,592 Now, let me see... 368 00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:16,512 What are you doing here? Who's with Little Ricky? 369 00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:18,848 We got Mrs. Trumbull to sit with him. We couldn't miss this. 370 00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:22,059 Lucille McGillicuddy. 371 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,688 "Singer, dancer, comedienne, 372 00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:28,691 monologist, mistress of ceremonies, 373 00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,318 after-dinner speaker, 374 00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:34,821 saxophonist, star, bit player or extra." 375 00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,199 That's quite some accomplishments. 376 00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:40,578 Thank you... I'm just going to sing and dance today. 377 00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:41,579 Oh, just a moment, please. 378 00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:44,290 There's nothing down here under experience. 379 00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:45,499 Oh? 380 00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:47,667 Where have you appeared before? 381 00:18:47,667 --> 00:18:48,669 How's that? 382 00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:50,463 I say, where have you appeared before? 383 00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:58,220 Oh, uh. ... well, I ... let's see, I just finished at, um... 384 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,850 Well, well, there's been so many places, it's hard to single one out. 385 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:04,393 Well, try. 386 00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:05,728 Oh. 387 00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:08,230 Uh... 388 00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:11,567 I just finished a long run at Ricardo's. 389 00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:12,943 - Ricardo's? - Yes, sir. 390 00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:15,112 I don't believe I've ever heard of that place. 391 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:16,571 What sort of an establishment is it? 392 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,784 Oh, well, it's a three-ringed circus. 393 00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:24,288 Yes, it's quite a place. You should drop by some night. 394 00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:25,998 How long was your engagement there? 395 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,292 11 years. 396 00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:34,298 Yes, well, I'm ready. I have my-- 397 00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:37,385 Oh, just a minute, please. Where else have you appeared? 398 00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:39,387 Well ... 399 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,932 I was in 3D. 400 00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:46,977 You say you've appeared in Third Dimension. 401 00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:49,188 No, sir, I did not. 402 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,648 I said I was in 3D. 403 00:19:51,648 --> 00:19:54,193 Well, what's 3D if it isn't Third Dimension? 404 00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:00,366 It's the number on our apartment. 405 00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:07,248 Well, I'm very sorry, Miss McGillicuddy, 406 00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:09,166 but we're only interested in professionals here. 407 00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:11,085 Now, it's almost 8:00. We have to move on. 408 00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:13,045 We only have time for one more. 409 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,672 Now, let me see. 410 00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,507 Professor Falconi. 411 00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:30,980 Something about a woman, you're trying to say? 412 00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:38,571 - Anybody here speak Italian? - No. 413 00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:39,655 Huh? 414 00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:41,615 Well, I'm afraid that's all for this session then. 415 00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:44,410 Wait a minute. I speak Italian. 416 00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:47,204 Well, I do speak Italian. 417 00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:35,479 - - 418 00:23:38,459 --> 00:23:40,586 Ricky, Ricky, get me out of here! 419 00:23:40,586 --> 00:23:42,755 I don't know how to speak Italian! 420 00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:45,090 - I'll pay the bet. I'll pay the bet. - Oh, honey. 421 00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:47,092 I'll pay the bet. 422 00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:49,970 I'm sorry I came in. I'm sorry. 423 00:23:49,970 --> 00:23:51,805 Oh, honey... Don't worry, honey. 424 00:23:51,805 --> 00:23:53,015 I'll pay the bet. 425 00:23:53,015 --> 00:23:55,142 Oh, honey, you're wonderful. 426 00:23:55,142 --> 00:23:56,143 No, you're not. 427 00:23:56,143 --> 00:23:58,479 You let me stand up there and let him throw knives at me. 428 00:23:58,479 --> 00:24:00,522 What's the matter with you, are you crazy or something? 429 00:24:00,522 --> 00:24:02,942 Don't you love me anymore? What are you trying to do, get rid of me? 430 00:24:02,942 --> 00:24:05,234 Honey, he wasn't throwing knives at you. 431 00:24:05,234 --> 00:24:07,529 What do you mean he wasn't throwing knives at me? 432 00:24:07,529 --> 00:24:09,823 No, no, look, look, honey, I'll show you, look. 433 00:24:09,823 --> 00:24:11,992 The knives come from the back. Let one go. 434 00:24:14,787 --> 00:24:16,705 You see? You see, honey? 435 00:24:16,705 --> 00:24:17,915 They come from the back. 436 00:24:17,915 --> 00:24:19,541 Oh. 437 00:24:20,584 --> 00:24:21,961 Oh, I ... 32864

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