Original subtitles

- Bye-bye. - Say bye-bye.

Say bye-bye.

Bye.

He's going to take his nap.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

- Isn't he just growing? - I tell you, he's the image of his father.

He's my godson, you know.

Just such a darling...

Well, let's get on with the meeting.

- We have to wait for Lucy? - Well, she's the president.

Well, I'm the co-president.

I'll take over even though it isn't my turn.

- Then we won't waste any time, huh? - Yeah.

All right.

Well, did I miss anything?

Next thing on the agenda is--

Uh, I'll take over now, Ethel.

It's my turn to be president.

[Ethel] Hey, that's doing pretty good, isn't it?

That's great.

- [Lucy taps gavel] - Girls, girls.

The meeting will come to order.

Now, I would like to talk about the club's yearly show.

I think we should schedule it for sometime next week.

- Next week? - But it's so close to the bazaar.

But it's only three months since we had our last yearly show.

Yes, I know. Now, if you'll all be quiet,

I'll have Caroline tell you the wonderful reason. Caroline?

Well, as you all know,

my husband is the manager of a television station.

And last night we were talking,

and he just happened to mention that there was one half hour of time

that they hadn't been able to sell.

So I said to him,

"Charlie, how about letting our women's club put on a show

during that half hour?"

And he said-- Well, never mind what he said.

Well, anyway, after I talked to him for a while,

he finally agreed that our club could have the time.

Girls, girls, girls, let's be businesslike about this now.

What time did he agree to give us, Caroline?

- Uh, next Monday from 12:00 to 12:30. - Oh, that's fine time.

That's right in the middle of the day when everybody's home.

Yeah, well, everybody's home, all right, but it's not the middle of the day.

It's 12:00 midnight.

- Midnight! - Oh, well, now, look.

What difference does it make?

We have a whole half hour on television.

Now, the important thing is to select the chairman,

someone to be in charge of the whole program.

Now, it's very important that we select someone

who has a lot of talent, who makes a good appearance,

someone who is in show business, or at least close to it

by having a husband, or someone like that, you know,

who is in it.

You all agree with me, don't you?

Well, uh, then the chair

will have nominations for that important post.

The chair recognizes Marian Strong.

You're absolutely right, Madam Chairman. That's just the kind of a person we need.

Well, it's the only logical way.

Now, as you all know,

there is only one of us here who is really close to the theater.

I spent a number of years as an actress...

brilliantly climaxing my career

by being mistress of ceremonies at the Senior Shenanigans

of the Rappahannock School For Girls.

Need I say more?

Well, you certainly need not. I didn't know you were professional.

Madam Co-President,

uh, at this point, may I ask you to take over?

- Why? - Well, it's not fair for me

to be president at this moment.

For what I have to say, I'd rather be a civilian.

Now, do I hear any more nominations for chairman of our show?

Lucy Ricardo.

Well, uh, dramatic experience is fine.

But will the general public know who Marian Strong is?

Well, you can tell them at the beginning of the program, you know.

The program would be over before we could say,

"Senior Shenanigans of the Rappahannock School For Girls."

- It would not! - Oh, girls.

- Oh, it certainly would. - Girls!

- You can't say... - Girls!

..."school for girls" without your tongue getting twisted.

Lucy... Lucy, you have the floor.

- Thank you very much. - [Marian sighs]

Therefore, I think that I should be the chairman.

Who knows who you are?

Nobody, and you've hit it right on the head.

What we need is a star name, and if I am chosen chairman,

I will guarantee to get Ricky Ricardo as master of ceremonies.

Oh, Lucy, are you sure you could get Ricky?

- Wouldn't that be marvelous! - Oh, well, girls, girls.

In that case,

I'm sure that Marian will be the first to agree

that Lucy should be in charge.

Of course.

Now, all those in favor of making Lucy Ricardo chairman

of our yearly show on television, say, "Aye."

Aye.

The "ayes" have it. Meeting adjourned. Let's eat.

- Oh, that's wonderful. - Ethel, will you help me?

Don't forget the punchbowl.

- Oh, Lucy, imagine us being on television. - Isn't it wonderful?

Oh, boy.

And with Ricky as master of ceremonies.

Good night.

Hey, what made him change his mind?

I thought he said he never would be in another women's club production.

He did.

Well, then, how come he agreed to be in this one?

He didn't yet.

Oh, Lucy, you just said you could get Ricky

so you'd get to be the chairman.

Oh, what a sneaky thing to do.

If I am the chairman,

the best parts in the show are certain to go to you and me.

Oh, yeah.

Doesn't seem so sneaky now, does it?

- Well-- -

- Come in. - Hi.

- Hi, Fred. - Hi.

Hi, Fred.

Is this week's meeting of the claw and cackle club over?

Never mind that now, Fred. We're gonna be on television.

- Who is? - Our women's club.

Well, that ought to bring back movies.

No kidding, Fred.

Caroline Appleby's husband said that we could have a whole half hour

on his TV station next Monday night.

Oh, do you need any good talent?

What kind of a show are you going to put on?

- Uh... a panel show. - A cooking show.

Oh, I get it. Well, if you don't want me on your show, I won't be in it.

- Okay. - Okay.

On the other hand, you're entitled to a--

To a little peek at the kind of talent you're turning down.

Now, listen, Fred, Ricky's going to be the only man in it.

All the rest are members of our women's club.

♪ When the red, red robin comes a-bob bob bobbin' along, along ♪

We should know better than to tell him.

♪ There'll be no more sobbin' ♪

♪ When he starts robbin' his own sweet song ♪

♪ Wake up, wake up, wake up You sleepy head ♪

Okay, Fred. All right, Fred.

♪ Get up, come on, come on Get out of bed ♪

- ♪ Cheer up, cheer up... ♪ - Okay, you can be in it.

♪ Cheer up, the sun is red ♪

- Fred, she said you can be in it. - ♪ Live, love, laugh and be happy ♪

♪ What if I were blue ♪

♪ I'll be walking through a field of flowers ♪

♪ The rain will glisten And I will listen ♪

♪ For hours and hours ♪

♪ Oh, I'm just a kid again Doing what I did again ♪

♪ Singing a song ♪

♪ When the red, red robin... ♪

[Fred] ♪ When the red, red robin ♪

♪ Comes bob, bob, bobbin' along... ♪

He's still at it.

Come on, Ethel.

Let's figure out the routine for the show.

- Okay. - What'll we start with?

Well, Luann Hall will want to play the piano.

Yeah.

And Jane Sebastian will want to do her birdcalls.

Yeah. She's all right.

I suppose Caroline will want to do her impersonation of Bette Davis.

That isn't Bette Davis she impersonates.

It's Lionel Barrymore.

- It is? - Say...

you don't think we could get along without Caroline, do you?

Her husband manages the station.

Who follows Caroline?

Rosalyn McKee will wanna recite "Trees."

- Oh, she does that so beautifully. - Yeah, she does, she really does.

Let's see now, Ricky can sing a couple of numbers

and then I'll do the big closing number, and that's it.

I don't think I've left out anyone, have I?

Can you think of anyone el--

Oh, dear.

Well, thank you.

Oh, well, come now, dear. We'll find a spot for you someplace.

Let's see here, Luann, Jane, Caroline.

- Well, you can't do the closing number. - Why?

'Cause I'm doing it.

Why?

Well, I'm the president.

Well, I'm the co-president.

Well, I'm the chairman.

Well, I'm the one who knows how you got to be chairman.

Well!

Oh, come on, now, Lucy, seeing as we're co-presidents,

why don't we do a duet?

- A duet? - Yeah, something like, uh,

that Cole Porter song, "Friendship."

- Isn't that a wonderful idea? - Well, no.

That way I don't get to sing alone.

That's what makes it a wonderful idea.

Now, cut it out, Ethel.

- "Friendship"? - Uh-huh.

"Friendship," let's see, is that the one that goes...

♪ If you're ever up a tree ♪

- ♪ Call on me ♪

- That's it. - Is that it?

Yeah, that's a wonderful number.

Listen, let's get some sheet music and rehearse it.

- Okay. - Here, help me move this table.

Where are you gonna put it?

Play with your toys, honey.

- [Ethel] Lucy? - Yeah, I'm here, Ethel.

Hi, honey.

- Ricky isn't home yet, huh? - No, not yet.

- Lucy, I've been worrying. - About what?

Well, what if you can't talk him into emceeing the show?

Don't worry, I've got my strategy all planned.

What are you gonna do, wheedle him?

No, I've done that so much my wheedle is all worn out.

And I'm not gonna be lovey-dovey, or cry or pout either.

What's left?

I'm gonna use my head.

What are you gonna do, beat him with it?

No, I'm going to make Ricky ask to be in that show.

How? Hypnotize him?

No, when Ricky comes home,

you and I are gonna be talking about the show,

and we'll be discussing who we're gonna get to emcee.

You watch, Ricky won't be able to stand it.

We won't even mention him.

- Oh, I don't know. - Well, I do.

Listen, Ethel, next to sugar, Cuba's biggest export is ham.

[Ricky] Honey, I'm home.

There it is.

Okay, dear, I'll be right there.

Now, Ethel, you remember, you follow my lead.

We won't even mention Ricky. We'll consider everyone but him.

Okay.

- Hi, dear. - Hi. Oh, hi, Ethel.

Hello, Ricky.

- Hi, honey. - Hi, honey.

Guess what happened at the club meeting today.

I know I shouldn't ask, but what?

Well, Caroline Appleby's husband

said that we could have one whole half hour

on his TV station next Monday night.

We're gonna put on a review.

Yes?

And we were waiting for you to come home

because we wanted to ask you a very important question.

Yes?

Should we wear formals?

Should you wear formals?

Yeah, Ethel and I have got a number to do together,

and we don't know whether to wear costumes or formals.

Oh, let's wear formals. It'll give me an excuse to buy a new one.

Okay. Formals it is.

Thanks anyway, Ricky. Didn't need you after all.

Come on, Ethel.

Oh, say, wait a minute. What about the emcee?

Yeah, what about the emcee?

Well, you see, we need a master of ceremonies

and it'd be great if it was someone really wonderful, you know.

Gee, I can't think of a soul. Can you think of anybody, Ethel?

Well, it'll be a great opportunity for someone to be seen on television.

Sure will.

He'll be in front of the cameras most of the time.

That's right.

Should be someone who makes a good appearance.

A dark, handsome type.

It'd be great if he could play a musical instrument and sing a song.

Yeah.

Let's see now, a dark, handsome type,

plays a musical instrument and sings a song.

Well, there's only one person to ask.

Dan Jenkins.

Dan Jenkins!

Yeah, what's the matter with him?

Well, it's none of my business, but this fella doesn't even have a voice.

Well, he plays a musical instrument.

Sure, tissue paper and comb.

Well, if that's what you want, it's okay with me.

Oh, well, honey, it isn't what we want.

We don't want Dan Jenkins.

But, uh, you know we'd like to have somebody like, uh,

well, somebody great, but we don't know anybody like that,

so what are we going to do?

Well, uh... you haven't asked me.

You? Why, you said you'd never be in another one of our shows.

Oh, I don't know.

I might be available if I was approached correctly.

Oh, honey, now don't kid us about this. This is serious.

You're being mean.

No, I'm not. I'm not kidding. I'm serious. I'll do it.

Really? What made you change your mind?

I don't know, I just feel like it.

- And that should teach you a lesson. - What should?

Well, you know, I can always tell

when you're trying to make me do something,

when you, you know, when you trick me into it.

- Oh? - And I'll never do it

- when you're trying to make me do it. - No.

But this is different, as you know.

Here you were in a spot,

and, uh, you respected my wishes about not being in the show.

- You didn't even ask. - No.

So I'm going to be big about it, and I'll help you out.

Oh, honey, you're wonderful.

Oh, that's so sweet.

Now you see how much farther you get by just being honest?

Yes, dear, I've learned my lesson.

That's a good girl.

Ricky, we've been rehearsing our number and we want to do it with a piano.

- Will you play for us? - Sure.

Well, I've got to have a ringside seat for this.

- Honey, help me move this down there. - All right.

- Push it up toward the couch. - Okay.

Now you stand over there, and we'll make an entrance like this.

- Right there? - Yeah.

- Ricky, give us a-one, a-two... - Are you ready?

- Uh-huh. - All right.

One, two.

♪ If you're ever in a jam, here I am ♪

♪ If you're ever in a mess, S.O.S. ♪

♪ If you ever get so happy you land in jail ♪

♪ I'm your bail ♪

♪ It's friendship, friendship Just the perfect blendship ♪

♪ When other friendships have been forgot ♪

♪ Ours will still be hot ♪

♪ A da-da-da-da, da-da, dig-dig-dig ♪

Isn't that funny?

♪ If you're ever up a tree ♪

♪ A-phone to me ♪

♪ If you're ever down a well ♪

♪ Ring my bell ♪

Okay.

♪ If you ever lose your dough ♪

♪ When you're out to dine, borrow mine ♪

♪ It's friendship, friendship Just the perfect blendship ♪

♪ When other friendships have been forgate ♪

♪ Ours will still be great ♪

♪ A la-da-la-da la-da, chuck-chuck-chuck ♪

♪ If they ever a-black your eye ♪

♪ A-put me wise ♪

♪ If they ever cook your goose ♪

♪ Turn me loose ♪

♪ If they ever put a bullet ♪

♪ Right through your brain I'll complain ♪

♪ It's friendship, friendship Just the perfect blendship ♪

♪ When other friendships have been forgit ♪

♪ Ours will still be it ♪

♪ A la-da-la-da, la-da, hep-hep-hep ♪

Two, three.

♪ A da-da-da-da, da-da, hep-hep-hep ♪

Two, three.

♪ A da-da-da-da, da-da, hep-hep-hep! ♪

- Ooh. - Did you like it?

Well, it's a little bit on the corny side, but I think it'll go, yeah.

What'd you think, Fred?

Well, it may even be worth all the money you spent on your new dress.

Oh, Ethel, you didn't tell me. When did you get it?

- Yesterday afternoon. - I got mine today.

- Go get yours and I'll show you mine. - Okay.

Oh, what a pair, eh?

♪ La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la ♪

♪ Hep-hep-hep ♪

Oh, they're demons all right.

I want you to see this. I think this is the most beautiful dress.

I never thought I'd own a dress like this in my whole life.

When I saw it there, I just couldn't stand it.

And I had such a wonderful opportunity to buy it and everything.

I can only hope I'm looking in a mirror.

Well, I'm sorry to say you're not.

- Where did you get yours? - At Macy's.

- Where did you get yours? - Gimbel's.

Imagine us getting the same dress at two different stores.

Yeah, it sure is a funny coincidence.

Sure is.

Well, it's very amusing, but what are we going to do about it?

Oh, well, there's only one thing to do.

One of us will have to take her dress back.

Yeah, one of us will have to.

Why take either one of them back?

Yeah, I think it's kind of cute.

- You know you can do like a sister act. - Yeah.

Oh, for heaven's sake,

you don't think we're going to go out there

and do that number in the same dress, do you?

Good grief, no.

Well, I'll make the sacrifice, Ethel.

I'll take mine back, and get something else.

Oh, no, I'll take mine back.

No, it's all right, Ethel. I'll take mine back.

Oh, I couldn't let you do that, honey. I'll take mine back.

Well, somebody take something back.

Look, if it's going to create some hard feelings,

why don't you both take them back?

- Yeah. - Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.

- Okay, I'll go for that. - Yeah, we'll both take them back.

- All right. - Yeah.

Honey, I'll meet you down at the television studio.

[Lucy] Oh, no. Now, wait for me, honey. I'm going with you.

Now, you just wait.

Lucy, isn't that the--

Yes, it is.

I got to thinking it was silly for both of us to take our dresses back.

As long as Ethel was taking hers back,

there was no reason for me to take mine back.

Well, there isn't.

I didn't say a word.

I'll go and get Mrs. Trumbull to stay with Little Ricky.

Ricky?

What?

Do you think Ethel will be mad at me?

I wouldn't be surprised if she punched you right in the nose.

Why do you say that? It's perfectly logical.

Well, if she was going to take her dress back,

there's no reason why I have to take mine back.

Oh, for Pete's sake, Ethel, aren't you ready yet?

[Ethel] I'm coming, I'm coming.

Why, Ethel Louise Mertz.

Well, there wasn't any sense in both of us taking our dresses back.

If she was going to take her dress back,

I couldn't see any reason for me to take my dress back.

Well, one of us should have it. It's such a pretty dress.

Come on, they're gonna meet us down there.

I'm not gonna let her see me till we do the number.

All right, all right.

[Ricky] Now if I may, I'd like to do a little number for you.

It's become quite popular in the last couple of months.

♪ Se llegó el momento ya de separarnos ♪

♪ En silencio el corazón dice y suspira ♪

♪ Vaya con dios, mi vida ♪

♪ Vaya con dios, mi amor ♪

♪ Las campanas de la iglesia sueñan tristes ♪

♪ Y parece que all sonar también te dicen ♪

♪ Vaya con dios, mi vida ♪

♪ Vaya con dios, mi amor ♪

♪ A dónde vayas tu iré contigo ♪

♪ En sueño siempre junto a tí estaré ♪

♪ Mi voz escucharás, dulce amor mio ♪

♪ Y como yo estarás también a de volver ♪

♪ La alborada all despertar feliz te esperá ♪

♪ Si en mi corazón yo voy a donde quiera ♪

♪ Vaya con dios, mi vida ♪

♪ Vaya con dios, mi amor ♪

Thank you.

Thank you, ladies. Thank you, gentlemen. Thank you very much.

And now for the highlight of our show,

we are very happy and proud to bring to you the co-presidents

of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League,

Mrs. Ethel Mertz, Mrs. Lucy Ricardo,

in Cole Porter's great number "Friendship."

Maestro.

Thought you said you were gonna take yours back.

You big stinker.

♪ If you're ever in a jam, here I am ♪

♪ If you're ever in a mess, S.O.S. ♪

♪ If you ever get so happy you land in jail ♪

♪ I'm your bail ♪

♪ It's friendship, friendship Just the perfect blendship ♪

♪ When other friendships have been forgot ♪

♪ Ours will still be hot ♪

♪ La da-da-da-da, da-da, dig-dig-dig ♪

♪ A da-da-da-da, da-da, dig-dig-dig ♪

♪ If you're ever up a tree ♪

♪ A-phone to me ♪

♪ If you're ever down a well ♪

♪ Ring my bell ♪

♪ If you ever lose your dough ♪

♪ When you're out to dine, borrow mine ♪

♪ It's friendship, friendship Just the perfect blendship... ♪

The part of Caroline was played by Doris Singleton.

Marian was Shirley Mitchell,

and the other club woman was Ruth Perrin.

I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.