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I made a joke this morning about the house burning down

and Liz got all mad because she thinks I'm not

making any progress and maybe I'm not, maybe I'm not.

So I go high speed to fuck it.

Yeah. Right. True.

Uh-huh.

An arbitrary task. Yeah.

That's helpful.

♪

It calms you quickly.

The cold water stimulates the parasympathetic system,

slowing everything down.

Only cunts walk alone.

Good. Good job, Richard, keep going.

Let's move on to P pacing.

Nobody cares about you.

Nice. Nice. Exhaling all the way out.

You act like a baby.

You think anybody wants to date a baby?

Very nice. Five to seven cycles, please.

You think you're an artist?

You have no talent.

You're old.

Is anything coming up for you, Mel?

No.

Good.

Nice work.

All right, everybody.

Let's take a quick five-minute bathroom break

and return here for process.

So I put the click link in the chat and now I basically

have to go home after school and think about what I've done.

Mm-hmm. Did you see my piece?

-What? -My piece on the sidewalk?

No. I think humans

are like dolphins. We need a lot of water.

Like that's why it's so dumb to live in the desert.

Everyone is going to die.

- Yeah. - But I guess that's everywhere

except the ocean.

Yeah, even there, but the armies' missiles

mess up the waves and the fish.

My dad probably wasn't thinking about that

when he joined, you know. Nobody thinks about the fish.

Like when I was in second everyone was jealous

of me

And now she's girlfriend/ boyfriend with Jeremy Thompson

and I don't get it because, like, he smells.

And I'm not a mean person.

Like I can say mean things sometimes but I'm not mean.

I just don't even sit next to him

I can smell that boy from a mile away.

What?

Tavi, what are you doing?

No standing on the bus.

- I get off here. - Here?

This is in the middle of the street.

- Thank you. - Here you go-- You're welcome.

-And Keith-- -Thank you.

And ni-- nice job today, Richard.

I need to do my target behaviors.

I'm stressed, I know it.

I always feel like that.

- Yeah, me too. - Do opposite action.

- I walk the track. - Take it back.

The track? What track?

- By union. - I know exactly

what I want to eat and what I want to drink.

Bells distract me.

I keep them next to my stove so I don't touch it.

Chicken fingers and Armageddon.

Why don't you go to the movies?

-Man it's always good. -I can't go to the movies.

I'll get popcorn and end up at the bar.

Well, you could listen to music

and make a nice lunch with apricots and...

-look at your worksheet. -When I am alone,

that's when it gets going, okay?

It's just a want, Richard.

Just a thought.

Wanna go to the store, with me?

- I need to be alone. Bye. - Where are you going?

I need an HDMI cable.

-Yeah, where are you going? -Have a great day, everybody.

Use your resources.

Rogers.

I don't want to...

-but I should. -Can I come?

-Sure. -Does anybody have a lighter?

I'll fuck everything up if I don't.

I feel weird, I wanna leave.

Shotgun.

♪

♪

So I owe them like four grand.

I have no way of getting them that money.

So I really don't wanna bump into them.

-Your license is suspended? -Mm-hmm.

I stole a cello.

How did you carry it?

I don't remember.

Do you play?

No.

I just think they're really beautiful.

Like a wood body...

with a wood neck.

It says you were a football team in New Mexico?

I was in a football team here, yeah.

No, this says you-- you were the entire football team,

the way that you wrote it.

-Oh, is it? -Yeah.

So is that true, you were the entire football team?

Must be a typo.

Just making sure.

It's more stylized but it fits in your pocket.

It's not really HDMI though.

Not technically, but it does the same thing.

You have your computer on you?

- One sec. - What's this do?

- Hello. - I don't know.

Yeah. Dad, how are you?

Okay. What does that mean?

No, she's not with me.

What is this?

What is this about you can't be out past 9:00?

What is that?

Well...

I'm currently on parole.

So 9:00 is my curfew.

Curfew from who?

The State.

Oh...

Yeah. All right. Well--

But my parole officer recommends me.

I even listed her as a reference.

-Sure. Yeah. Okay. -It's kind of unusual.

Yeah, no. I'll let you know.

Hello.

I saw you fall.

What was that?

I saw you fall...

on the sidewalk, yesterday, over there.

Oh.

Yeah, I did.

-Tripped. - I saw you.

You saw me?

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck.

Hey, this is Keith again, Tavi's dad.

Maybe they just messed up attendance.

-Can you please-- -How old is she?

No. No, she's not here.

I don't know if that's protocol.

- Now they're gonna call. - She's in California.

Why would they?

It's all fine, uh, it's just better if you don't call.

What are you gonna do now?

Exactly. I'll tell her myself.

Okay, never mind.

Actually, never-- you pretend I didn't call.

Okay. Okay.

Are you guys coming?

What do you see?

A little bit of orange,

maybe my cousin.

Boom, boom, boom.

Yeah.

You already know.

Not-- not even walking by?

No.

She's, uh, in a yellow shirt, I think.

No one has been here today except you.

Shit. Shit.

I don't know, isn't-- that's--

That's a thing, police protocol?

They notify everyone involved,

they don't think that she's with her,

they don't know if she's in California.

I don't think she ran away.

I don't know, if-- if I knew why would I be driving around?

In a house?

Yeah.

Me too.

That's weird, we both live in houses.

Yeah, it is.

Mine is more like a building than a house.

Like a department store?

Nah, it's just...

houses of families.

And I just live with a couple of people

who don't really acknowledge each other.

That sucks.

Yeah...

it sorta does.

Mine has three stories.

It's big.

For ants.

Huge for ants.

I should get going.

Do you know where you are?

Kind of.

Here.

If you get lost...

Or...

feel like getting lost...

call me.

Tavi?

Tav?

Hi, Dad.

You've been here the whole time.

Whole time?

Skipped school today?

Not really.

Ms. Cassiva called me.

I left early.

Why?

I had other things to do.

You have to go to school, Tav.

It's one of those things we have to do

even if we don't want to.

Gonna make you a better person someday.

Like, I gotta go to school too every day.

I go to the thing, it's basically school.

Me and you are doing everything we can to be better.

And smarter, healthier.

If you don't wanna go one day, just tell me,

we could do something fun.

Play hooky, I'm good at hooky.

I didn't know where you were.

Sorry.

Were you scared?

No, no, it's fine.

I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry.

Are you okay now?

Yeah, I'm so stupid. I overreacted.

I'll make dinner.

Eggs?

Sure.

Mm-hm. Yeah.

Yeah, what do they say? To try and--

try and leave the cave in better shape

- than when you left. - Right.

Or when you initially went there,

or I think it's try and leave it in the same shape,

don't try and improve upon it.

While I was down there, I did let a little bit--

this is embarrassing to admit, but I was scared as I said,

and I let, uh, just a little-- a little bit flow.

Just a small number one. I mean and--

and I'm hoping none of it

touched the cave floor, but, um--

This was a religious experience.

Yeah, I mean, truly, what do they say?

You can't have a religious experience

without emitting a bit of--

like a teaspoon full of urine, uh...

Hey, Liz.

Tav.

Hi, Mom.

I got it. Is it clay?

Oh.

He's... good.

He's cooking.

Scrambled eggs.

It's fine because I have other things for lunch.

Dinner!

Thank you to the food

for giving me nutrients,

keeping me alive.

Thank you to my kid across the table from me here,

sitting with me.

Thank you to Liz

for checking in on us even with her busy schedule,

and my friends in the program who believe in me.

Thank you to my eyes for letting me see.

And Liz for giving me quality time with my child.

Thank you to the sun for giving light and f--

To the moon for giving darkness.

Thank you to my legs for carrying me around.

Thank you to Julian for falling on the sidewalk,

and thank you to my dad for giving me food

every morning and every night.

Thank you to my heart for becoming more open.

Thank you to Maxine, who uses the right pronouns

and makes me laugh--

-Thank you to my ears-- -when people are mean to me.

...for bringing all the new possibilities.

Thank you to the sand which cushions me

when I look too closely.

Thank you.

♪

Do graves get watered by the rain?

What?

Do graves get watered by the rain?

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Mm.

Just, uh, make sure she gets to school today.

They, not she.

-All right, no problem. -Make sure.

Thank You. All right.

I can't believe you did that.

I didn't say anything.

I don't get why people think your dad's so hot.

He's out of shape.

Not really.

Maybe it's cause he's crazy, people love crazy.

He's not that crazy anymore.

He should really stop misgendering you.

Like, that's messed up.

Do you even correct him? No.

It shouldn't be on you, so he should just know.

You should meet my mom's friend.

She works for ambulance, she wears this thing

over her ears, like the tape,

but, like, it doesn't rip the skin.

Maybe you can borrow them.

Well, I really liked that restaurant.

It's very cute.

I hated it.

I wanted chicken tenders.

-Honey. -Mom.

Girls.

Richard, look out!

Hi, Nickie. I'm Anne.

I work for the police force.

I have some very unfortunate news for you today.

Your family died in a car crash tonight.

Oh.

And I know you don't have any other relatives so, I'm sorry.

It seems like your life is going to be very hard

from now on.

Okay.

Nobody will be able to help you,

and it's honestly your fault.

You could have asked them to eat with you at home,

but you were too busy chatting with someone

on your cell phone, weren't you?

What a shame.

Now they're all dead...

and you're all alone,

and nobody cares.

Let's take a quick five-minute bathroom break

and return here for process.

Let's take five minutes. Great job.

Hey.

Uh... hello.

Hey.

Uh...

I was just wondering if you guys are hiring right now?

Uh...

I don't think so.

Okay. Well, I have a lot of experience with ceramics.

I use a lot of pottery.

I pay very, very close attention to cups.

Um, well, I'm not the manager.

Well, I still would like to get involved.

-Mm-hmm. -So, okay.

Here's my resume and references.

You can call the number at the top.

Uh, yeah. You can set it right there.

Yes. Set it right down, thanks.

Okay.

Thank you for your time.

Uh, appreciate it.

All right.

A social worker would never really say that.

So, it's-- it's dumb, but it also really scares me because

like, Richard and everybody are, like,

falling out of their seats,

I was a nine,

I don't know if anybody could tell.

Same thing happened to me the night before my exposure.

My SUDs went really high thinking about it.

I always think that thinking about it makes it happen.

- Yeah. - But you get to see

and hear your thoughts right out there in the open.

That's why I found mine so helpful.

That's-- that's why I haven't done mine yet.

I can't even say it out loud.

About Liz?

Mm-hmm.

Now my SUDs are an eight.

I can feel my heart.

Yeah, that happens to me too.

I know that's the whole point.

It makes it absurd.

I did a relapse one,

and I didn't relapse.

-Does that count? -Definitely.

And you said it made you feel like you could handle it.

- Right, Richard? - Yeah.

- Doing it gave me the power. - Mm-hm.

Like, I could see what would happen.

I would freak out,

and I'd say a bunch of dramatic shit,

but it would be fine.

I could handle it.

You know colosseums?

Like Rome or the Aztecs?

Yeah.

Have you ever made one?

Um...

probably in some way,

an accidental sort of colosseum.

We recognize fully and honestly

how our behaviors have created difficulties in our lives.

I've tried different methods,

I usually like to keep them in the body.

Four essential DBT skills to master.

Essential. Es-sen-tial.

If you meet a fencing master on the road,

you may give him your sword.

When you're manic, you know, people show up,

like, you're going 90 in a 55,

searching for the library in a fog of fug,

one ski ready for Everest, one Rock away Beach. It is--

Once I've decided,

that there won't be a perfect souvenir for the United States.

Don't pass the disappointment mailbox,

merciless.

Hello.

Hi.

I don't have all my numbers. Who's this?

Sorry. What?

I don't have all my numbers. Who is this?

Oh, it's Mel.

-Mel. -Mel?

Yeah, from group.

Oh, uh, Mel. Hey.

Yeah, sorry, I can't really

hear so good in my car speakers.

Um...

-Are you there? -Yeah. Yeah.

Do you want to meet to do our worksheet together?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, I'm just cruising around, you know, uh...

business, resource recovery, trying to get in that zone.

Probably be good to have another head, brain.

Hey, you're in the car?

Yeah, I could, uh--

I could take you off speakers,

it's just one button versus another.

So could you, like, pick me up?

A baby.

These aren't just for babies.

My hamstrings are tight from those jumps earlier.

I might have to hum on them later.

-You ever done that? -No.

The vibrations reorient the muscle if it gets twisted.

What do you eat?

Food-wise?

Pale colors.

Well.

Rice?

Yeah.

Cheese?

Not really.

Hmm...

- Chicken? - No.

-You vegetarian? -Yeah.

Huh, me too.

Well, I mean, when I can afford it.

Shall not Kill...

shall not gossip.

I shalt not Kill.

Would you kill an animal if you had to?

I don't know.

Like... if I was starving?

Yeah, I like these... color.

I mean...

I could kill a fish.

I have killed a fish before.

Nobody cares about fish.

But...

like, if I was starving?

You know, it's tricky.

You know that coconut have the exact same

-number of calories. -It's about the milk, Mom.

I'm just saying.

Isn't that your friend Tavi?

-Oh, my God, stop. -Hi, Tavi.

Fancy seeing you here.

Alison's getting her tonsils out tomorrow,

so I let her take off and we're...

buying a ton of ice cream.

Huh...

sounds like a lot of fun.

I got mine out.

Get peppermint. Peppermint soothes.

Also raw honey.

Just put some on your lymph nodes, like this.

Does your dad know you're here?

Does your dad know you're here?

Excuse me? No. But that's not really the question here,

-is it? -Mom, stop.

No. Don't tell me to stop, Alison. I don't--

I don't know why Tavi's here in the middle of the day

with a strange man, but [--

-Bye. -I certainly--

Uh,

Don't tell me to stop, Alison, she should be in school.

She's not a she, she's a they.

-You always get it wrong. -What?

Tavi is not a she, she's a they.

That's not what we're talking about right now.

Oh, my God.

She is-- your friend is here in the middle of the day

with some strange man.

You have a backyard?

-Sort of. -Can I see it?

Sure.

Here it is.

You dig that?

No.

Want a glass of water or something?

No.

Thanks, I'm just--

This hole just reminds me of another hole

that I totally forgot about.

Okay.

Tell me all about it inside.

Let's pledge allegiance...

to the sand...

which stands but lays...

and dance.

One...

Turn to a rock.

Turning rock.

Turn the rock,

turn the rock,

turn the rock, turn the rock,

turn the rock, turn the rock,

turn the rock, turn the rock,

turn the rock, turn the rock,

turn a rock, turn the rock, turn the rock...

Turn...

the...

lock.

Yes, it's weird when that-- that happens.

Those gaps when...

one thing reminds you of another thing.

Yeah.

I try not to be superstitious about them anymore.

Same.

What was the hole?

Uh, one I tripped in.

I was retarded.

I mean...

stupid.

Like, on psychedelics?

No, I sprained my ankle.

Oh, yeah.

It's okay. I put tape on it.

Yeah, that's what I did when I sprained my wrist.

Mm.

Took me like four months to get these movements back.

Sorry, did I cut you off?

Um...

my last conversation analysis...

I kept cutting my partner off.

A lot of guys do that.

Yeah.

I didn't make eye contact in mine.

Well, that's big one for honesty, right?

Yeah, apparently.

I've never really done eye contact,

but I guess I've never really been that honest either.

I don't know, whatever.

Oh, you're making my eye contact now.

Yeah, thanks. I've been trying. Every couple of seconds.

- Yeah, feels natural. - Thank you.

-It's in here? -Right.

So we need to arrive at a sequence.

- That's an. - Mm...

What's your password?

- Door logs. - "Door logs"?

-Like door logs? -One word.

♪

♪

Shit, it's almost five.

Ah, I gotta start dinner.

Tavi is probably home. Did you hear the door?

Tavi.

Oh.

Tav.

- Oh, you're home. - Hi, dad.

-We added sand to the walls. -Yeah.

I'm Keith, Tavi's dad.

Hi, I'm Julian.

It's like outside but inside.

- We met before? - Um, I don't think so.

I saw Julian fall on the sidewalk.

Uh-huh.

Are you staying for dinner?

Ah, if you're offering.

Sure.

What's up?

Uh...

Uh, my daughter moved all this furniture around.

I always rearrange my room.

Yeah...

I set the table.

Wow, that's so nice.

Yeah, I didn't-- I don't know if I did it the way

that you guys do it, but I won't be offended

if you move things around or anything.

Wow. That's great. Thank you.

Just need, um, napkins and one extra seat.

Your wife?

You've got a constitutional right

to receive dental care in prison.

Hey, I like that. Behind your ear?

- Every prisoner should-- - Oh, it's a blindfold.

- Basic dental care. - Oh.

In marker.

- But these prison-- - Right.

Dentists pull your teeth instead of repairing them.

So when you leave prison, everyone is staring

at you because you have no teeth.

But they didn't treat the gum disease or any of

the other deadly shit floating around in your mouth,

and now you're fighting multiple

health battles on top of a major no teeth stigma.

- Can we switch it? - Yeah.

Walk into any thrift store in the world

-you'll see that-- -Sure.

Every person working there has no teeth.

I feel confident seeing that because

a lot of my friends that did time now work

in thrift stores and they will actually hire you.

Do you want me to choose?

No, I got it.

I hope I have my key.

There it is.

What are you going to do tonight?

-I don't know. -Yeah.

-Why don't you take a shower? -Yeah.

A shower would be good.

So Julian is Tavi's teacher?

I don't know.

How does she know him?

He lives around here, I guess.

Oh.

Can I show you this text?

Sure.

Think she's mad?

She's busy.

Yeah, busy and she's mad?

And why would she be mad?

Um, I made a dumb joke the other day.

She's not mad, she's busy.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. Sorry.

No, don't be sorry. I get it.

I blocked all my contacts.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, I had to.

Maybe I will take a shower.

Do it, showers rule.

♪ Lighter, lighter, lighter, lighter, lighter, lighter ♪

-Just getting water. -Oh, good.

Yeah, me too.

-You have chips. -Mm-hm.

Very old from the pantry.

Hm.

-Are you okay? -Yeah.

You look sweaty.

I did some jump- jumping jacks.

Hm.

-Okay. Good night, dad. -Mm-hm.

♪

♪

♪

♪

You didn't shower?

No.

Me neither.

Dad?

Dad?

Dad?

Do you have a knife or a shovel?

I'm feeling pretty good today.

I am too actually.

I like the raisin exercise.

Yeah, that was all right.

I just don't like raisins in my chili.

They're fine.

Just not my chili.

Yeah, I never heard of that.

What's up?

Do you want Carol on her knees to make her look shorter?

That's fine.

Carol, would you mind getting on

your knees since his daughter's shorter?

Sure.

Should we start?

Yes.

So, Tavi, I wanted to talk to you about this

before I spoke to your dad.

Okay. What is it?

You know how I had to go away for a couple of weeks to work?

-Yeah. Well, -I loved being away.

Eye contact, Keith.

Not from you, of course, but from your dad.

He's such a burden, don't you think?

Yeah.

All of his problems are so annoying.

I don't even get what he has.

I'm so sick of worrying about him.

Me neither.

You know, ordinary people can eat a little too much,

drink a little too much, have a day that's not exact,

and they don't have to go crazy.

-He's really very messed up. -I'm glad I came out normal.

Sometimes I think it's just an excuse to be lazy

and not make any money.

Yeah, he doesn't do anything all day.

-He's messing up our lives. -Yeah, I hate him.

And I met someone who makes a lot of money

and doesn't have any of these issues.

He's easy-going and famous.

Wow, cool. I love famous people.

So we should leave your dad

and move in with this guy instead, right?

Yeah, definitely. When?

Later when you're dad's sleeping.

Yeah, I don't wanna say bye to him.

Oh, me neither. He'd probably cry.

-Yeah, he's such a loser. -Such a loser.

Yeah, he won't even beat up the creep

that's been following me.

Because he's pathetic. I'll call the hospital now.

Wow, I'm so excited.

Does my new dad have enough money to take us to Hawaii?

Oh, definitely.

Yay, I don't want to see dad ever again.

Oh, well, you won't have to.

They don't allow children in these psych hospitals.

Yeah, I'll just pretend he never existed.

That's just what I was thinking.

Keith?

I am a representative from

a psychiatric hospital in Port Alice.

You have been signed for and you will live

there from now on.

Your family did not want to see you before you left,

so you'll come with me now.

Let's take a quick five-minute recess

and we'll be right back for process.

SUDs?

Uh, eight? I don't know, 8.5.

Or eight. 8.7, now.

I'm kind of freaking out.

Good. Good.

Why-- why don't we have a seat back on the mat

and we'll work on that, okay?

Do you wanna have-- have a seat over here

and we'll work on that, okay?

All right.

Use your resources to lower them down.

-Mm-hmm. -Okay.

Try-- try to get it to a five.

-Meditate, listen to music. -Mm-hmm.

You know the resources that are good for you.

Good work.

♪

♪

♪

Whoa.

♪ What you can't say ♪

♪ What you can't say ♪

♪ What you can't say ♪

♪ What you can't say ♪

Fuck you, Keith.

Some of us come here and do the work,

And do all the worksheets, and play by the rules.

You just come here and do whatever you want

and you always have to be the center of attention.

Why do you even come here, man?

I just wanna validate that it's really

brave to do an exposure in general.

It's fucking bullshit.

I have to agree.

And even though it may seem like it makes it worse.

- Mm, mm, yeah. - You are handling it.

This is you handling it.

I feel like I'm making it happen.

Now, one thing that struck me that the first time

they went actually down into this cave,

I had to stay behind because I was having a back issue.

So I was just in the van listening in on everything

and, um, but I was able to go down at a later date

and the thing that struck me was that the-- the-- the size

of the sound that they were able to get from these--

♪

I am not having this conversation with you, Max.

'Cause you know I'm right. It's true.

You're so addicted to celebrity culture

you actually believe these donations.

Like it's a classic move.

They do that to make the fans happy, donate.

Oh, look, it's Tavi.

Tavi!

-Who is she with? -I don't know. Wait.

Don't let them see.

-Don't let them see me. -Look. Move.

Look, I gotta fill up this tank and we gotta

go get these paper towels for ma.

Who is that?

Who is that old man?

With everyone, person, plant, everything.

Like would you have a uniform

or not is probably the question.

I-- I wouldn't have a name and--

Come on, Tavi. Come on.

Get away from my friend, you sicko.

- Get in the car. - Are you--

Get in the car.

You? Shame on you.

Tavi. Are you okay?

Mm-hmm.

Do you know where your mom and dad are?

Neither one of your parents are answering.

Do you think their mom and dad are home?

Is this something that happen all the time?

Is your mom still on set?

Yeah, and dad's probably at group.

He's still doing that?

It doesn't just go away.

Okay, but it's Saturday.

He can't do that in the week?

Hey, how's it going?

I can't complain.

I, uh...

I was just wondering if you guys are hiring right now?

We are.

You are?

Yep.

Wow, great.

Got a resume?

Yeah.

Yeah. Here.

Um...

But I should just let you know

that I was recently incarcerated.

The important thing is that you flip the sign.

People forget to flip the sign

and then everyone thinks we're closed.

Uh, that's important.

Yes, it is.

Thanks.

How did you meet that guy?

I saw him.

Where?

Over there.

How could I have known that?

Of course, I'm with her now.

Okay, you just talk to her?

I can't do anything right.

Tavi.

It's your mom.

I'm fine. Why are you crying?

I'm fine.

I don't wanna talk to you right now.

Yeah, Liz. I'll call you back, okay?

About to do that right now.

I'm sitting right here.

I'll call you after.

Okay. I'm hanging up now.

Goodbye. Okay.

I'll call you later.

Uh, Tav.

Everyone's mad at me.

No. No.

No one's mad at you.

You did nothing wrong.

You did... nothing wrong.

I just want to know about this guy.

You know, I-- we don't know him.

I don't know anything about him.

- So? - So it's kinda weird.

So we love you. I love you.

You're my fucking kid. Do you know what that means?

You're like-- you're like the only thing

in the world I'm really fucking proud of.

So I want to keep you safe.

And it's kinda weird like we don't know what

you've been doing with this guy, you know,

it's kinda weird like...

We just like each other.

Oh.

Let's just calm down a second.

Have you guys...

been...

touching?

What?

Has he touched you?

Yeah. A lot.

Fucking piece of shit.

He's not a piece of shit.

Tavi, I need you to understand.

It is not okay for someone

to touch you without your permission.

We've just been touching like this.

Okay. Well...

uh, has--

Has he touched you here?

Or here?

Made you touch him?

No. Just here.

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