Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,274
M U m , M um , M um !
- Shit!
2
00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:06,198
Why can i t I do anything right?
- Because you don ' t do anyth i ng right!
3
00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:08,033
M I R l : Maybe iti s in the car
and it fel I out of you r pocket?
4
00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:08,911
I i m sure I had it.
5
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:11,712
Shit!
- lt was my wife !
6
00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:13,273
DOM :
Fuck, you ' re 7O !
7
00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:14,680
Vi king !
8
00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,554
You Iook terrible . B ut you ' re mine .
9
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:18,431
I know.
10
00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:22,511
H ello .
11
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:23,749
You ki I Ied someone !
12
00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:24,955
You ' re married .
13
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,274
Ah , fuck!
14
00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:29,120
Even best friends have secrets , Mandy.
15
00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:30,434
How do you know my name?
16
00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:32,517
Hello , M r Boback.
17
00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:54,871
H i , B illy.
18
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:56,636
Hah .
19
00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:59,279
Bush , it. . . it smel ls funny.
20
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:02,233
Oh ! I i I l remember to wash it next time .
Stin ky old bush , ha.
21
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:05,910
Hah , no, it i s-it i s , uh . . .
it ' s got powdery mildew.
22
00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:08,315
What. . . what, you r bush ?
- Oh , no , no , it was a joke , um ...
23
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:09,953
about my, um . . . it doesn ' t matter.
24
00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,834
I i m sorry, have you got. . .
you got a smelly bush?
25
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:14,598
Just because you said that you rs was ...
26
00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,036
M ine i s got an actual disease , M iri .
- Yeah , no , um ...
27
00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:20,196
l was really happy
that you were tal king to me and , uh ...
28
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:23,278
and so then l , I just pan icked
and l made a really shit joke .
29
00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:24,311
Oh !
30
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,030
H E LAU G HS
Oh , I see l get it, the ...
31
00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,432
Yeah , no , there i s noth i ng to get,
cos it ' s not even slightly funny.
32
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,200
But what l really meant to say was ,
it ' s nice to see you
33
00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:36,596
and it would be great if we cou ld maybe ,
I don ' t know , hang out again one day.
34
00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:38,313
Have an ice-cream . As friends .
35
00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:44,079
Because l had a really nice day with you
and l , and I hope that you did too , so...
36
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,676
Can l thin k about it?
- Of course . Yeah .
37
00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:49,872
Right, I- I better. . .
- Yeah , su re .
38
00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:51,949
Sure .
- Gonna go .
39
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:54,435
Ugh , bush .
40
00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:57,439
Iti s ten o ' clock in the morning , Caroline ,
my-my porridge hasn ' t settled .
41
00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,078
Ow!
- Oscar.
42
00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:01,755
You need to relax.
43
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:02,870
Oh , I am relaxed .
44
00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:04,511
Oh !
45
00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:07,315
B Ioody hell . What are you doing , Caroline?
46
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:08,470
I i m- l i m just trying to ...
47
00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:09,396
It tickles .
48
00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:10,874
H E LAU G HS
- Relax.
49
00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:11,751
OK.
50
00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:16,119
H E EXHALES
51
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:18,838
H E FARTS
- Oscar!
52
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:19,870
I i m so sorry.
53
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,437
I will not be defeated by a fart.
54
00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:45,679
AN NA:
Hel Io there , pretty girl .
55
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:48,711
H i .
56
00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:55,673
I saw you and Billy making amends
and l want to apologise too .
57
00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:57,439
I have a jealous streak.
58
00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:00,672
I real ly appreciate that.
U m , and l ' m so sorry too.
59
00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,074
I had no idea that you guys were ...
60
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:03,959
Let us never mention it again .
61
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,510
It i s hard , isn i t it, l ife?
62
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:08,791
Yeah .
63
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,794
H ow are you ?
- U m , l ' m good , thanks .
64
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,792
Fresh start. New beginnings .
65
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,957
Well , it ' s , u m , iti s a Iovely day, so...
66
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,479
Isn i t it? Crisp .
67
00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:20,749
Ah , there ' s nothing quite Ii ke winter sun ,
is there?
68
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,354
M m . How are you ?
69
00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,593
Oh , I feel fabulous . Than k you for asking .
70
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:26,630
Oh , l i m so glad .
71
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,235
Light as a feather.
72
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,670
CIean as a whistle , inside and out.
73
00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:31,591
Oh !
74
00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:34,234
I do wonder though , someti mes .
75
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:35,715
Oh , what do you wonder?
76
00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:38,559
I wonder what iti s Iike being a harlot
77
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,277
slut, ki l ler.
78
00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:42,834
A man-stealer.
79
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:44,315
Cunty head .
80
00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:49,031
U m . . .
- A great, big fat fucker-fuckity-fucker.
81
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,990
AIright, you i re obviously having a bad day,
so l ' m- I ' m not gonna take offence .
82
00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:54,189
Oh , I ' m very well .
83
00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:56,151
Right now , never been better.
84
00:03:56,480 --> 00:04:01,190
J ust a woman in her prime ,
taking a good , hard look at a psycho
85
00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:07,072
husband-stealing fuck-biscuit
casually bathing her si n in the sun .
86
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,551
Wow.
- While she should be rotting to death
87
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:10,590
in a prison cell .
88
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:11,710
That i s really nice .
89
00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:14,070
Look, it ' s not working ,
l- l need to get back to my...
90
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:15,315
No , it ' s been too Iong .
91
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:19,271
We need to make it part of our routine ,
I i ke porridge .
92
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:20,909
Porridge?
- Yes .
93
00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:22,310
B ut a bit sexier.
94
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:25,474
AN NA (VO) :
Slut fucker.
95
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:27,234
Sh it sl it.
96
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,675
Sorry, can you just stop it now? Stop it.
97
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,189
Rot. Rot, rot!
98
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:34,637
Dirty l ittle prison ki IIer.
99
00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,878
You don i t know anything about me .
J ust leave me alone .
100
00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:39,115
Stop being so mean .
101
00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:42,630
I know you ' ve got a great, big hungry pussy
and nobody wants it.
102
00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:45,309
Not my h usband . N o one .
103
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:48,433
You will always be alone !
104
00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:50,079
Oh , fuck off and die !
105
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:55,191
Anna?
106
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,318
An na? Oh ...
107
00:04:58,880 --> 00:04:59,711
Anna?
108
00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:02,590
POLI CE RAD I O C HATTERS
109
00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:05,550
CAROLI N E :
Poor woman .
110
00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,069
I never got to know her.
111
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,158
Now we definitely won ' t. H uh .
112
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:13,314
Hello, Tina.
- M rs Matteson , M r Matteson .
113
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,830
U m , M iri Matteson , can I have a qu ick word?
114
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:17,678
Actual ly, I ' m a bit Iate for work, so I i m ...
115
00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:20,109
OFFICER ON RAD I O : Apparently the deceased
was talking to that psycho
116
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:22,117
that killed Chief lnspector Boback is girl.
117
00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:23,798
Yeah , I ' m- I i m with her now, Rick.
118
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:28,274
So , u h , apparently you were
the last person to speak to the deceased .
119
00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:30,789
Yeah , we , we , uh . . . we did converse , yes .
- Right.
120
00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:32,877
What was said?
- U h , so we had a chat.
121
00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:34,433
Yeah .
- Yeah , what did she say?
122
00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:35,515
Said it i s nice weather.
123
00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:37,278
Well , yeah . Yeah , it is Iovely.
124
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,789
So l said iiyes , it is , 'i
and then she said it was crisp .
125
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:40,796
Ii Crisp . "
- Yeah .
126
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,354
Yeah , it is crisp .
- M m-hm .
127
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,871
U h , yeah , she seemed really, very lucid .
128
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:46,469
I nteresting .
- Yeah .
129
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,999
U m , but then she sort of changed tack.
130
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:50,951
OK.
131
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,435
Sort of conversationally,
it went i n a different direction .
132
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,758
OK. I n sort of, for exam ple . . . ?
133
00:05:57,880 --> 00:05:59,678
'ISIut, whore , shit slit
134
00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:01,677
dirty Iittle . . . uh , husband fucker
135
00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:03,438
rot, rot in prison , you killer
136
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:05,391
killer, ki l ler, killer, killer, killer
137
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:07,592
killer. . . killer. 'i
138
00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:08,556
Stuff Iike that.
139
00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:11,312
Right. Anything else?
140
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:13,269
U m ...
141
00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:14,355
Come on , it is im portant.
142
00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:16,074
She said that I ...
143
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:19,549
she said that I had
a great, big greedy pussy, so ...
144
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:20,431
OK.
145
00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:22,679
Is that true?
- What?
146
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:23,755
Sorry, what? No !
147
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,110
AIright, calm down .
It. . . it ' s a fair question .
148
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:27,070
I am cal m .
149
00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:30,477
Right. And , um , what was you r response?
150
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,314
SH E M U M B LES U N D ER H E R B REATH
151
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:36,510
No , what I mean . . .
Did you say anything to her before she died?
152
00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:37,630
U h , 'ifuck off and die . "
153
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:43,040
But, so . . . I ' m aware that doesn i t. . .
doesn ' t sound very, very good .
154
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,197
No.
- B ut you can see how I got there .
155
00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,436
You know , I just. . . I snapped .
- Snapped , right.
156
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:49,153
No. N o , no , no, no , no , no, no .
157
00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:50,355
No . Oh , my God .
158
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:51,879
No , no? Or yes?
- List. . . ugh .
159
00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:55,675
No, wel l , yeah , no , but just, th is is , uh . . .
Can I just say that this is incredibly...
160
00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:57,797
This is really rubbish for me .
161
00:06:58,240 --> 00:06:59,230
Tl NA:
Worse for her.
162
00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:01,995
Well , let i s just see
what the coroner ' s report says , yeah ?
163
00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:03,110
Oh , come on , you can i t...
164
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,879
Ii ke , you know, Iike , with words ,
that' s just...
165
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:09,192
Ah , sticks and stones will break my bones
but words will never h u rt me .
166
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,151
OK, well , we all know that isn i t true .
167
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,598
'ITina Tiny Tits ,
you ' re so weak, you ' re a freak. "
168
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,470
So you smile through your tears
and you just say "words ' ll never hurt me . "
169
00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:22,159
And then , u m , and then you become
a policewoman with a tru ncheon
170
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:25,839
so, uh . . . I ' II be in touch , yeah ?
171
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:26,791
OK.
172
00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,357
Billy, I can explain everything .
173
00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:32,675
B I LLY:
Just leave me alone .
174
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:34,675
M I RI :
I ' m so sorry.
175
00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:37,875
Oh , Ch rist.
176
00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,789
B illy, l i m not a bad person ,
it was just a very...
177
00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:43,235
a very u nfortunate coincidence .
178
00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:45,195
Shit.
179
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,352
POLI CE RAD I O C HATTERS
180
00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:57,356
What?
Show ' s over, go and have your breakfast.
181
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:04,040
NATHAN :
Ah , you found me then .
182
00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:08,114
I i m so sorry, I had an awfu l morning .
183
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:09,995
Than ks for coming back.
184
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,915
So , um , what happened to the shop?
185
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:13,870
This is the shop now.
186
00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:15,993
Yeah , it ' s much better.
187
00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,390
N imbler. You can ' t drive a shop around .
188
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,314
Are you sleeping here?
189
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:21,714
A bit.
190
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,876
It ' s fun . It i s Iike bivouacking .
191
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,911
Oh , my God , iti s because of me .
192
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,873
Look, it ' s not easy having a murd ...
193
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,469
murderer or murderess , which do you prefer?
194
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:33,635
Neither.
- U m ...
195
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:34,791
A i' killer'i !
196
00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:37,390
U h , front of house , puts people off
197
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,431
u n less it i s Halloween
and you ' re making a thing of it.
198
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,153
Anyway, they will come round .
199
00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:43,237
It i s not Ii ke you i re gonna be killing
anyone else , is it?
200
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:44,954
Ah ...
201
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,195
Arr. . .
- Oh , fuck.
202
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:48,231
No. N o , no , no, no , no , no, no !
203
00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:49,600
Don ' t panic , don ' t panic , no .
204
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:50,670
N o . Look.
205
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:53,190
She was my neighbour, she was very, very old .
206
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:57,313
We were just tal king and . . . she died
207
00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:59,431
but it ' s absolutely fine , it ' s fine .
208
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:00,675
Not for her.
- No .
209
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:01,835
Obviously not for her.
210
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:03,871
Having the grim reaper for a neighbour.
211
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,633
It was a tragic coincidence .
212
00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:07,910
Maybe you should warn people ,
carry a scythe or something .
213
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,071
Actually not fair, that ' s not. . .
- OK.
214
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:10,996
...very n ice .
215
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,190
Ah , shit the bed .
- Are you . . . are you OK?
216
00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:14,230
It i s al I too m uch .
217
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,592
Are you alright?
- It' s all too much , M iri .
218
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,677
M I RI :
J ust breathe . Just have a Iittle breathe , OK?
219
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:24,434
H E SI G HS
- Nathan ...
220
00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:26,673
you need to fi re me .
- Nope .
221
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,354
Just do it.
- l can ' t.
222
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,516
Then I i m gonna do it, l i m gon na fi re myself.
- B ut I don ' t want you to .
223
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:31,630
Wait there , wait a second .
224
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,839
I N D EEP VOI CE :
M iri , you ' re fired .
225
00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,791
Oh ! Oh , well , that i s fine .
226
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:37,791
Than k you so m uch
for givi ng me a chance , Nathan .
227
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,239
I N D EEP VOI CE :
lt ' s al right. Bye , M iri .
228
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:40,395
Iti s done . It was real ly easy.
229
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:45,118
You i re Ii ke Pau l McKenna, making me do that.
- That ' s what they say.
230
00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:47,279
You know what? It could be worse .
231
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:48,916
You could be me .
232
00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:50,356
Thati s true .
233
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:54,069
Bye , Nathan . Good l uck.
234
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:55,510
Keep your pecker up .
235
00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:00,355
Anythi ng?
- No .
236
00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:03,798
Thin k of me with another woman , hm ?
237
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:07,073
I magine l may be rubbing cream i nto her.
238
00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:08,070
Oh , u h ...
239
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,189
No .
- What?
240
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:13,595
I saw that dead woman .
- Oh , thin k of someone else .
241
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:14,516
Wel I , who?
242
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,116
Marilyn Monroe , Grace Kelly.
243
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,270
More dead women?
244
00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:22,029
Oh . . .
- Look, maybe we just, uh , squ idge it in .
245
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,753
Oh !
- l ' m sorry...
246
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:30,719
I -I real ly want to , I just. . .
I just don ' t know why l can ' t.
247
00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:33,673
Don i t worry, darling . We i II sort this out.
248
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:35,396
Together.
249
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,754
Stop stalking me .
- You killed your neigh bour ' s wife?
250
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,074
M I RI :
No, I did not.
251
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:45,758
MAN DY:
Well , you ' re trending on local Twitter.
252
00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,074
Oh , for God i s sake .
253
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,959
I i m only getti ng in cos l don i t have a phone ,
don ' t get excited .
254
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:51,753
Ugh . . . give it to me .
255
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,958
Oh , God , this is ridiculous ,
I - I didn ' t do anyth i ng .
256
00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:00,517
Who was that weird guy asking questions
about you yesterday, with the beard?
257
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:01,999
I don i t really know,
some kind of investigator.
258
00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:03,872
Oh , my God , who are these people?
- I nvestigator?
259
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,355
I don ' t Ii ke him . He i s creepy.
- Oh , social media is evil .
260
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,109
M iri , you ' re not Iistening .
261
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:11,676
He creeped me out, I thin k he wants
to turn us i nto the H uman Centi pede .
262
00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:12,869
People think I i ve killed someone
263
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:14,638
so I i ve got slightly bigger things
to worry about right now.
264
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,871
Well , have you ever seen the Human Centipede?
265
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:20,311
No, but I -I read it, I read it, Ii ke ,
on Monday he has a plum
266
00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:22,670
on Tuesday he has an apple ,
then he eats a bit more fruit
267
00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,075
has a bit of cake , turns into a butterfly,
flies away.
268
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,953
To be honest, I would absolutely Iove
to be him right now .
269
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,158
That i s the Hungry Caterpillar.
270
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,511
Oh , right, whati s the Human Centipede?
- It ' s ...
271
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,910
when your mouth gets sewn
to someone ' s arsehole .
272
00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:37,390
Oh ! Oh , oh , that ' s a bit more concerning .
273
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:39,590
Yes , it is .
- Listen , can you do me a favour?
274
00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:41,717
I need to get my neighbour a present,
can you Iend me some money
275
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,478
and just drive me , drive me to a shop?
276
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:46,792
I mean , l do actually have a staff meeting ,
which , um ...
277
00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:49,470
it means fuck all , so , yeah , why not?
- Yay!
278
00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:52,071
It i s l i ke the old days .
- What is?
279
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:53,758
You and me on an adventure .
280
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,039
We never went anywhere .
- Yeah , we did !
281
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,435
Spliffs on the beach , the arcades ...
282
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:00,509
the Co-op .
283
00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:02,995
My mai n memory is me waiting
a few feet away while you got fi ngered
284
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,270
in pretty much any location
by pretty much anyone .
285
00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,197
Can you drive?
- You ' I I have to get down .
286
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,472
Why?
- No, seriously, l can ' t be seen with you .
287
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:10,955
Oh , for fucki s sake .
288
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:11,831
Down .
289
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:13,075
Why?
- Lower.
290
00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:14,396
U gh .
291
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:18,476
You know, to help with things . . . down there .
292
00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:20,471
Canesten pessary for th rush ?
293
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:22,636
To encourage fi rm ness .
294
00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:24,109
I n the stool?
- No !
295
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:25,276
You know.
296
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,077
Theyi re bl ue .
- l ' m sorry?
297
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:30,760
For men . . . downstairs .
298
00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:32,951
Bru ised testicles .
- Viagra!
299
00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:35,589
SH E WH ISPERS:
BIoody Viagra.
300
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:37,952
No . Sorry, we sold out.
301
00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:41,753
Theyi ve sold out. Everyone old is having sex.
302
00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:45,474
Oh .
- OSCAR : You !
303
00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:49,150
CAROLl N E :
Oh , my God .
304
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:51,909
SH E GASPS
305
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,197
Hey, man , l i m just getting nappies .
306
00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:02,315
Fucki ng scared of you ...
307
00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:08,751
I fired her and . . . and she went nuts .
308
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:12,117
She threatened me ,
she said she was gonna do something
309
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:15,398
something bad , she said .
U h , probably tonight.
310
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:16,760
TI NA ON PHON E :
Like what, sir?
311
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,349
I really don ' t know. l real ly don i t know.
312
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,391
And whatls the name of this angry w0man ?
313
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:23,397
M iri Matteson . Thati s her name .
314
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,198
Big surprise. On it, sir.
315
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:26,116
Than k you .
316
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:30,435
Shit.
317
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:35,112
Do you thin k I should get him a card as well?
- Sorry, don ' t tal k to me .
318
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:37,913
I . . . I can i t be seen with you .
- You ' re just gonna leave me?
319
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,280
I need to get my wine .
320
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:46,431
Oh , my God ! Iti s you .
321
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:49,269
Yes .
- You know, my mum is your biggest fan .
322
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:50,276
Really?
- No .
323
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:53,474
She does not I i ke you . You i re a m u rderer.
324
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:55,114
And she says you dress funny.
325
00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:57,598
G reat, can I just. . .
I just wanna buy a plant--
326
00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:59,233
Did you wear that in prison?
- No, can l just...
327
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:00,509
can I buy this , please?
- This plant?
328
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:01,551
Yeah .
- No.
329
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:02,590
I wan na buy it.
- No .
330
00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:03,869
PIease can I buy it?
- No .
331
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:04,836
Ph i I Sollen .
332
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:07,115
Hello , M iss M unther. H i .
333
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:08,958
Are you still being a nasty Iittle bully?
334
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:10,996
U h ...
335
00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:12,471
Yes , miss .
336
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:13,999
Do you know what happens to bullies?
337
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,073
No , miss .
- Do you want to fi nd out?
338
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:18,870
No .
- N o.
339
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,720
Now stop being a disgrace
and you serve this woman .
340
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:25,435
SCAN N ER B EEPS
341
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:30,994
Thati s £4 . 99 ...
342
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,430
So l take it you were
a bit of a wiener at school ?
343
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:34,590
Not a wiener.
344
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:37,837
It was really nice
watch i ng you suffer a I ittle bit
345
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:39,598
cos you ' re a bit of an arsehole .
346
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,072
That was amazing !
l like your headmistress voice .
347
00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:44,951
Shut u p .
- Oh !
348
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,115
Sorry, M iss .
M I Rl CH UC KLES
349
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:02,914
Why don ' t you hate me?
350
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,593
I do . A bit.
351
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:05,791
Good .
352
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:08,273
But I have a part to play in this .
353
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,592
I haven ' t been a husband to you Iately.
354
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:12,517
Oscar, please .
- No , but it' s true .
355
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:18,115
It is over. I ended it.
356
00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:21,598
For better or worse .
And this is extremely worse .
357
00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:27,874
B ut we ' ve been through so much together,
we can do this .
358
00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:30,754
We start again , as of today. Reset.
359
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,911
We wi I I Iove one another and endure .
360
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,394
SH E SI G HS
361
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:52,631
What are you doi ng?
362
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:57,753
Magazines in the fire paper pile .
Toxic fumes , very harmful .
363
00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:58,949
I ' ve been mean i ng to...
364
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,830
Caroline , I . . . we have a, um ...
365
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:02,756
Ahem .
366
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:04,559
Oh , God .
- I thin k l ' m , u h ...
367
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,720
Ha! I- I - I . . . keep going , keep going . . .
go on , don ' t...
368
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:09,550
Go on , go on , yes .
369
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:11,837
Yes , yes , keep going .
370
00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:15,512
Whey-hey!
H E LAU G HS
371
00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:19,633
Don i t you have kids to go home to?
372
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,514
I find parenting much easier after this .
373
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:23,711
Oh .
374
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:27,670
So , uh ...
375
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,394
M r B ush Man ,
is he someone you ' d wanna, um . . . ?
376
00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:35,113
No , it ' s not. . . wel l . . . that.
377
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:37,830
Agh , it ' s not Ii ke that.
- TH EY CH U C KLE
378
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:40,634
Are you still a vi rgin?
379
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:42,833
No . No. N o.
380
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,518
It ' s . . . there , there was Dom .
381
00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:46,631
Oh . That was just the tip though , wasn i t it?
382
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,320
Yeah , no , but he got most of it in
and then he pulled out and he ...
383
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:52,911
and he came on my, uh , Jam ie Oliver poster,
which I don ' t...
384
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:56,514
I don i t thin k that was . . . i ntentional .
385
00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:58,756
Christ.
- But it was just next to my bed .
386
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,313
TH EY LAU G H
387
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:03,114
That i s you r definitive sexual experience .
- l know.
388
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,515
Oh , Dom is . . . is a dirt bag , l mean ...
389
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:08,033
He i d jizz on anything .
- Really?
390
00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:09,229
M m .
- Oh ...
391
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:11,071
Yuck.
392
00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:15,515
It i s so weird , l thought that my life
would be , like , 9OolO fanny
393
00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:18,632
1 0olo other stuff but iti s just not been
about my fanny at al I .
394
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:23,315
I ' ve maintained an 8O-fanny,
2O-other-stuff ratio.
395
00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,317
Thati s really impressive for a headm istress .
- Yeah .
396
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:26,839
TH EY CH UCKLE
397
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,679
Iti s not that easy dating when everyone
th i n ks you ' re a psychopath .
398
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:30,671
I don ' t.
399
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:36,117
Why was she so angry with me , Mandy?
400
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:40,918
I used to just Iie awake
trying to work out what I ' d done .
401
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,679
Lara could be Ii ke that though .
402
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:45,594
Oh , come on , this was different.
She was . . . she was feral .
403
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:46,994
She bit me , for fucki s sake .
404
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:48,713
Yeah , well ...
405
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:53,473
Do you thin k she i s looking down at us ,
laughing at our sh it I ives?
406
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:55,390
Probably.
407
00:17:59,000 --> 00:17:59,956
I m iss her.
408
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:02,437
MAN DY SI G HS
Me too .
409
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:07,113
I really miss you too , you know.
410
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:21,798
I . . . I have to get back home .
411
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:23,111
Oh .
412
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:30,152
Wait! My bush is in you r car.
413
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:31,636
Hang on .
414
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:34,789
H E KNOC KS
415
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,634
KN 0C K ON DOOR
416
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,196
Hey, I need to speak to M iri .
417
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,879
She i s not here .
- M iri !
418
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:45,712
M iri ! I need to explain .
419
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:47,637
I mean , there i s Iiteral ly nowhere
she could be hiding--
420
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:48,556
M iri !
421
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:50,840
Mate , she i s really not here .
422
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,675
Hey. Have you got any chips?
423
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:56,918
Have l got any ch i ps?
- Yeah .
424
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:59,077
I n my fish and chip van ?
- Yeah .
425
00:18:59,120 --> 00:19:00,076
What a question .
426
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,632
U m , no , l don i t, actually. U m . . . Or fish .
427
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:06,836
M iri ...
428
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:08,553
And no M iri either.
429
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:11,239
I i m ki nd of busy and . . .
- DO M G ROANS
430
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,195
DOM YE LLS:
M iri !
431
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:18,076
Chips !
432
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:28,635
Hey.
- H i .
433
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:31,991
Sorry, I just, um , I got you a. . .
a non-diseased bush .
434
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:33,999
Wow. Oh .
435
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:35,436
Are you OK?
436
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:40,879
Yeah . Yeah , well , l i m a bit shocked ,
but in a way
437
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,149
I- I su ppose thati s the way...
438
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,074
everyone wants to go , isn ' t it?
439
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:45,476
Is . . . is it?
440
00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:48,512
Yeah , you . . . you lead a full Iife ,
your heart just stops , no pain
441
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:50,915
no suffering , you . . . you ' re peaceful .
442
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,110
Oh , l feel so dreadful .
- No , no, come on .
443
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,635
No, but l shouldn i t have risen to it,
she wasn ' t well and l was ...
444
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:56,954
I was so awful back to her.
445
00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:58,355
She shat in the box.
446
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,551
What?
- The-the-the shit that you got.
447
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:03,634
Oh , my God , so she , she ' s the one
who graffitied the house too?
448
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,991
No , no , she just posted shit to people
that she hated , that was her thing .
449
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:08,474
That i s why l don i t tal k to my mum anymore .
450
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:12,992
AII-all the other stuff, that was , uh ,
that was probably the whole of the town .
451
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:14,678
Oh , brilliant.
- SI REN WAI LS
452
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:17,190
Oh , God .
453
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:19,151
Who i s . . . ?
- Well , it ' s probably Tina, isn ' t it?
454
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,111
Oh .
- Yes , it ' s Ti na.
455
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,231
Right, M iri Matteson ,
you need to come with me .
456
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:24,679
U h , no , l i m sorry, hang on .
457
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:27,473
He will tell you that it was her heart,
l had nothing to do--
458
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,830
Yeah , yeah , it was , it was her heart.
- Tl NA: Oh , no , this isn ' t that.
459
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:30,711
What?
460
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,360
OFFI CE R O N RAD IO : You won It believe it, Tina,
it's Miri Matteson again.
461
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:34,674
Yeah , yeah , l i m on it, Rick.
462
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,318
Listen , I know no one Iikes bei ng fired
463
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,914
but to Iight a fire after you ' ve been fired
464
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,191
that ' s just showing off with words .
465
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,113
And arson .
- What fi re?
466
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,993
Excuse me , what-what, what i s she done wrong?
What' s this about?
467
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:50,237
Oh , hi , sorry, I didn i t see you
standing there behind this massive criminal .
468
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:52,078
Come on .
- Oh , my God , what is happening?
469
00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:54,077
What ' s happening?
- Right, you were fired today.
470
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,269
No , I fi red myself.
471
00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:58,159
OK, that doesn i t even exist.
- It does because I did it.
472
00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,429
Oh , 'i I did it. "
473
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,198
That sou nds Iike a confession to me .
474
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:04,557
No , to firing myself, not to . . . not to arson .
475
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,911
Oh , so you ' re a police officer now, are you?
- No , I ' m not a police officer.
476
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:09,917
TI NA: Yeah , right, well , I am ,
1 8 months and counting .
477
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:13,032
Not even very long .
- lt ' s wh izzed by. Seems shorter.
478
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:16,519
Anyway, come on , get i n the car.
479
00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:18,471
But l haven i t done anything .
l haven ' t done anyth i ng .
480
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:19,840
Oh , I see !
481
00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:22,111
Sticks and stones
might break my bones , but ooh !
482
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:25,278
I won i t get arrested for setti ng fire
to my boss ' food truck.
483
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,789
I didn i t do that. I didn i t.
Look, let me speak to Nathan--
484
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:29,513
Do you know what happened
to the girl that cried wolf?
485
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:30,789
It was a boy and he got eaten .
486
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:32,753
Right, OK. Well ...
487
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,430
Do you know what happened to the liar?
488
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:40,713
No , because . . .
- Well , liar, liar, pants went on fire .
489
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:41,909
Oh , my God .
- Come on , come on .
490
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,837
That i s not even a th ing .
- Yes , that is a thing .
491
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:50,994
PHON E CH I M ES
492
00:21:58,720 --> 00:21:59,915
PHON E CH I M ES
493
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:15,194
KEYS JAN G LE
494
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:23,754
PHON E CH I M ES
495
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,031
VOICEMAI L:
You ha ve one new message.
496
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:35,272
MAN DY: l know who you are,
so stay the fuck a way from me.
497
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:37,670
I mean it.
37932
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof