Original subtitles

H i . H m .

H i . Hello .

Hel lo , I i m M iri .

R&B M USI C PLAYS

H i , I ' m M i ri .

U m . . . sh it.

Shit.

Oh , no .

H i , I ' m ...

My-rie or M i ri?

It ' s M iri .

Good . Ha-ha...

I once went bivouacking with a Myrie and she was a lemon .

Oh , so sorry.

No, it i s not you r fault. - Thank you .

Super.

Have you ever bivouacked?

Is that an i nterview question ?

So , your CV, it i s qu ite gappy

as in , there i s a gap i n it.

It ' s mostly gap . I n fact, it i s al l gap .

I think that i s a matter of perspective .

It says you worked at FatFace in 2OOO .

Critical role .

And then noth i ng . - Yes .

I , um , I went. . . Oh , me? I went...

Travelling .

Travelling? Oh !

SH E CH UC KLES Yeah .

NATHAN (VO) : ln 2OOO ? - M l Rl (VO) : Yes.

NATHAN (VO) : Until now? - M l Rl (VO) : Mm-hm.

Where did you go?

B urma, which is now also cal led Myanmar.

Was that before or after they opened the borders there?

Yeah .

Which ? - Yes .

Yes . Yes , it was , yes .

CARO Ll N E : What did you wear that for? - l li ke it, leave it.

You Iook Ii ke Guy Richie .

Fuck i s sake , Carol ine . - Oh .

CAROLl N E : M iri .

H i .

Sweetheart.

Hello . - Hello.

H i .

OSCAR : Hello , darling . - Dad .

Let me take you r bags . - Get you home , h m?

OSCAR : How about a selfie?

Your head i s not in .

SH UTTER C LI CKS

SH UTTER C LI CKS

SH UTTER C Ll CKS - Not now, Dad .

Er, no , no , right.

No . Ahem .

We repainted the hall .

The same colour.

Yes .

Oh .

OSCAR : Er, those came for you this morning .

They ' re from Mandy. She ' s very keen to reconnect.

It i s garden waste .

Right, I i m gon na go and put th is i n my room .

Last man standing .

Than k God he i s still with us .

Make yourself at home .

Well , I mean , of course , it is your home .

SH E SI G HS

Rest in peace .

OSCAR (VO) : People won It think she 's still a risk?

People believe what they want.

We need to give her space , as she readjusts to life i n ou r home

and the wider com m u nity.

Are you gonna keep on quoting from the bloody pamphlet?

Actually, it was on Wi ki How.

PHON E CH I M ES

M iri !

Oh , yeah , the phone . Yeah .

DOOR CLOSES

DOM ON VOl CEMAl L: Hey, this is Dom, you kno w what to do.

P H O N E B EE PS - H el Io , hi . lt ' s me .

I i m just calling , er. . . you , because l have got your, um ...

H i . - Shit!

Shit. N ot your shit, your Discman .

So , er, anyway, I i m back.

U m , bye . It i s M iri .

Oh , God , oh , I ' m sorry. I didn ' t see the-- - No , it' s fine .

H i , I ' m . . . l i m B i IIy.

Oh , hi . Er, I i m M iri .

You . . . are you visiti ng?

No, no , I ' m . . . I i m staying .

Oh , Airbnb?

What? - Are you Airbnb-ing?

I don ' t know, are you ?

No , I , l . . . I Iive here .

Well , I i m a carer. I care for a. . . a woman .

Oh , that ' s a. . . thati s a real ly n ice job .

H E LAU G HS Yeah .

Your swing i s broken , I could try and fix it if you li ke--

No! N o , no , no, no , no , no!

Oh , shit. No, she i s , she ' s . . . she ' s not been well , but she ' s , um ...

No, it i s fine . It ' s fi ne .

Get away from her! - B I LLY: Really n ice to...

I ' d love to, but l i ve-- - AN NA: Get away from her!

Oh , God . O K, nice to meet you .

N ice to meet you . SH E LAU G HS

H i .

You Iittle fucker.

Sorry?

Your neighbours are friendly.

We haven ' t really met yet.

I i ve got a job interview, so I ' m gon na go into town tomorrow.

What job?

You won i t recognise the place . B Ioody gentrification .

CAROLI N E : It' s on Iy one shop .

Manze i s was the centre of this com munity.

And now some arsehole ' s tu rning it into a trendy fish and ch i ps .

We don ' t know he ' s an arsehole .

We presu me .

Everyone i s terrified we ' re gonna be the next Margate .

What happened to Margate? - Don ' t get him started .

H i psters .

Oh .

What ' s the job interview?

U m , it ' s office clean i ng firm .

And they know about you and . . . and your situation?

I dunno about that. They just said I should go in .

And they pay, wait for it...

£6 . 5O an hou r, so . . . M il ky Bars are on me .

Thati s not even minimum wage .

Oh , OK . Wel l , anyway, iti s a start, isn ' t it?

And then after that, I might go and see , er...

Dom . a ust, you know, catch up , say hi .

Have you spoken ?

Er, well , no , l just left him a message , so when he calls me back.

J ust. . . just, it ' s been a long time and you . . . well , you don ' t know how he ' s gonna feeI

now that you i re back, or how you ' re gonna feel .

Yeah , no , that ' s why I i m gon na wear fu I I wedding attire .

I ' m not gonna wear a wedding dress .

Come on , guys . l i m not gonna...

not gonna do that. SH E SCOFFS

But we were close and , you know, he wrote to me occasionally

and you said he always asks after me , so.

Well , yes . - Yeah .

So l i m gonna go and say h i , if that is something that people still do .

OK?

This is amazing . Than k you .

AUTOMATED VOI CE : Welcome to Home Safe. Your call is important.

I won ' t hold forever.

Someone i s going to have to give me a straight answer.

AUTO MATED VOl CE : PIease continue to hold.

Bastards ! - What' s up?

B Ioody home insurance .

Apparently, it ' s compromised because you-- - Oh , I see , because l ' m so dangerous .

Does that mean l can ' t set fire to the house or do something terrible?

Where are the kn ives?

Er, I thin k your mother m ust have done something with them .

Oh right, cos I ' m gonna stab you both i n your sleep?

H E SI G HS

She i s probably. . . polish i ng them .

PHON E RI N GS - Oh .

Dom ? - WO MAN : Miri Matteson ?

Yes?

This is regarding your intervie w for the cleaner vacancy.

Oh ! Yes , uh , three . . . 3 :1 5 today, yeah ?

N0, my c0lleague was mistaken.

This is a family firm.

You can clean offices in hell, you sick bitch.

P H O N E B EE PS - Amazing . U m ...

excel lent, well , I wi l l , um ...

I i II see you . . . see you there .

S. . . I can ' t wait.

Bye !

Right, l i m just gonna. . . just gon na pop out.

Maybe you should check with you r mother.

Yeah , or maybe it ' s OK cos I ' m not a kid anymore .

H E LAU G HS You ' re absolutely right.

You i re an adult now.

Yeah .

SH E SI G HS

PHON E CH I M ES

PHON E CH I M ES

DOORB ELL RI N GS

Dom ? - Oh , sh it.

Sorry, l . . . I got a bit of a shock there .

H i . It ' s . . . it ' s me .

It i s , um , M iri . - Yeah , yeah .

Er, why, why. . . why are you here?

Well , to see you .

You Iook. . . you Iook so amazing .

SH E LAU G HS

H E LAU G HS AWKWARD LY

Yes .

Of course . Like , sorry, it ' s just, it ' s been such a Iong ...

Wow!

TH EY LAU G H

M iri .

My M iri Bee , l i ke ...

all . . . you ' re all grown up .

Oh , um , er, sorry, I . . . brought you this .

Oh , shit. H E LAU G HS

I , er, borrowed it slightly longer than we said , so ...

SH E LAU G HS - Oh , yeah , well , l forgive you , you know.

Only cos you i ve got nice tits . H E LAU G HS

SH E SI G HS

N ice house .

Yeah .

Like , recru itment, management.

Oh , so you i re not a mari ne biologist?

H E SCOFFS No. . . never learned to swi m in the end .

Oh , well .

I can ' t believe you ' re back.

Look, l don i t wanna, Iike , freak you out, but, um ...

I thought about you and us a lot when I ...

you know, I had a Iot of time .

And , um , l know . . . I know that we can ' t, li ke , go back--

I don ' t have any money.

I don i t want money. - Like , I al ready give to charity.

Charity? - Yeah , could you just fuck off?

Dom ! Language !

DOM : No , she i s , li ke , one of these , u m , like , li ke ...

charity bully type , that. . . they...

No, no , no, no !

DOM ' S Wl FE : Ignore my h usband . DO M : No , don ' t.

DO M i S Wl FE : Here you go .

Oh , no, it i s , um ...

DOM i S WI FE : No, honestly, have it. Please .

Sorry.

Fifty-three m i nutes , but I ' m sti l l here .

AUTOMATED VOl CE : PIease continue to hold. - l will endure .

DOOR OPE NS

He ' s married !

Caroline . - With kids , with twins !

Caroline !

Why didn i t you tell me?

Caroline !

What is it?

You I ied to me !

It, it wasn ' t Iying . We omitted--

B ig fucking omission . You . . . you said that he asked after me .

And he did . - He did .

At the beginning .

You Iet me believe that he was th inking about me for 1 8 years?

Well , he may have been .

You were so depressed , and we didn ' t know what to do

and it made you happy.

I just went to h is house

with his beautiful , very generous wife , and I said

'iYou Iook amazing . 'i Amazing .

Ugh , l i ke a. . . twat!

WOMAN ON PHON E : Hello, you Ire through to Bethany from Home Safe.

Thank you--

H E SI G HS

H E M UTTERS

H ey...

Good .

SH E SI G HS That is lovely.

SH E SNO RTS

Yeah , I ' ve had the , er, sinusitis .

First ti me I ' ve had dairy all week.

I know it ain i t PC , but l bloody love a bit of dairy.

Do you want, um . . . ?

Ooh , I ' d Iove one .

B ut l i ve just finished an enormous bowl of noodles .

Right, um . . . how you finding being back?

Great, yeah . Al l good .

And , u h , how are the job interviews going?

Oh , er, yeah , bri l l iant.

Er, just, Ii ke , really, real Iy positive feedback, so it ' s great.

Good . And how are you finding it?

Being back?

You just asked that. - Did I ?

Yeah . - Oh ! Sorry.

Er, did you answer? - Yeah .

Oh , my God , I am so sorry.

I i m just so full of codeine right now.

Yeah , I slipped a disc .

That and the sinusitis , well , the on Iy thing that got me through it

was Naked And Afraid. SH E LAU G HS

Have you seen that?

How could I have? - Yeah , of course you haven ' t.

Well , something to Iook forward to l suppose .

Google it.

But do not Google yourself.

And Iisten ...

if you are experiencing frustration , depression

or just a deep and consuming sense of hopelessness ...

it i s normal .

Great, but I i m not.

So, I mean , it i s all super cool really, so ...

Ahem . - OK.

My ex-boyfriend has twins .

SH E LAU G HS With a really very beautiful woman .

B ut I am . . . l i m , l i ke , completely cool about all that.

And you got this Iovely house and a Iovely front garden .

You ' re I ike the Queen .

I feel Ii ke the Queen .

Do you know, it i s fine , isn ' t it? It' s just I i ke . . . just riding a bi ke really.

You i ve just gotta get back on it, peddle .

No, M iri .

You can ' t get back on you r old bi ke , because that ' s a tricycle .

And what you doing trying to ride a tricycle at your age?

It i s broke .

Now l isten , right here , right now, it ' s a brand-new bi ke .

No stabilisers .

You i ve gotta Iearn to ride it for real th is time , do you get me?

Yeah .

N o . What?

Well , that went well .

We got a Iot done . Any questions?

Got so many-- - Phew!

I just wan na get home and Iie down .

Actually, there i s a real ly good support group in Eastbourne

first Tuesday of every month .

I don i t drive , so . . . - Oh .

Well , it ' s not that great really.

I i II see myself out. Bye .

What ' s up , gangster? - Oh .

Oh , than k you . Oh .

Oh , God !

M I RI SOBS

CAROLl N E : Oh , my God , what am I doing?

This is all such a mess .

Ooh , gentle !

It i s real ly hot down there .

This is the Iast time , do you understand? She ' s back, Dom .

Yeah .

I i m serious ! We need to stop this .

Oh , O K. If you i re ...

Well , not now!

SH E SI G HS

MALE VOI CE : It is you , isn ' t it?

Welcome back, M iri Matteson .

Than k you . I ' m so sorry, I ...

I don ' t remem ber you .

Because we only just met.

KN OC K ON DOOR - Hello?

J ust checki ng in .

Are . . . are you OK?

No , not real ly. I want a second chance , and ...

l just thought my l ife would be different at this age .

I thought l i d be retired and I iving i n the Lake District

with six grandchildren by now.

What, you thought I i d have six children ?

Well , on reflection , it is rather a Iot.

M m .

I thought this might hel p a bit.

You deserve a good shot at al l of that Iife stuff.

Iti s from the new fish and ch i p place .

Run by the arsehole? - Yes .

H E C H UC KLES

I will m iss Manze ' s .

B ut, I i ke al l species , we must adapt to envi ronmental change or die .

Thank you . Thanks , Dad .

OK.

Our family is finally together.

I n one house .

Yes . Wonderful .

We i ve waited so Iong for this .

WHALE SOU N DS PLAY

SH E SI G HS OK...

OK.

B RUSH SCRAPES

WATER SLOSH ES

It. . . it i s not coming off.

Well , what are you using?

Vinegar. - Wel I , use white spirit.

We don ' t have insurance !

I i m not gon na douse the whole place in lighter fuel !

TAMAGOTCH I B EEPS

R&B M USI C PLAYS

H i , I i m M iri . M m .

M U FFLED R&B M USl C PLAYS - Oh , God .

We cannot Iet her see .

You keep cleaning . I i II distract her.

M I RI , M U FFLED : H i .

I ' m M iri . - What ' s she doi ng?

M I RI , M U FFLED : Hel Io , my name is M iri .

Who ' s she talking to? Why aren ' t you cleaning?

Because you i re talki ng to me .

I , er, I Iove food and . . . tills

if you i ve got a till .

Do you Iike people?

M m , some people .

Some? - Well , l mean

does anyone Iike everyone? SH E LAU G HS

Yes . - Then I Iove ...

everybody.

Well , very good . - SH E LAU G HS

Er, and you ' re available to start--

Now. Right now.

OK . There ' s a whole process , I ' m speaking to some other people .

Oh , my God , me too . Totally.

You ' ve got other interviews? - Yeah .

I i ve got B Iockbuster and then l have got Woolworths .

H E LAU G HS

SH E LAU G HS

And then B HS! - SH E LAU G HS

That i s very funny.

Thank you . - That ' s good .

H E C H UC KLES Woollies ...

Ah , M iri , you i re there .

Well , iti s my room , so ...

Your hai r! - Yeah , it' s , er...

it ' s exactly how I wanted it to be .

M um , can I borrow some clothes , please?

Why? - Cos I ' ve , l ' ve got a job i nterview.

Oh ! Oh , Iovely.

U m , so l need to borrow something , li ke , work-y, cos ...

Why? - M um .

We don i t actually have a mobile number for you .

Oh , er, yes , iti s , er, O77OO9OO738 .

J ust one more time , sorry?

O770O9OO2 59 .

Am I being th ick? - Yes .

Iti s 077OO900931 .

That ' s not the same . - Yes , it is . It is .

It really isn ' t. - Yeah , it really is .

SH E LAU G HS - lt ' s not.

It is . SH E LAU G HS

Are you OK? - Yeah .

Th is is all I have .

Than k you .

Christ.

Great, that i s ...

that ' s fantastic .

ZI PPER SLI D ES

There i s bleach , there .

I i II keep her i nside .

OSCAR : Oh , for God i s sake , Caroline , we can ' t keep her locked up !

CAROLl N E : Oh , she ' I I be fine . She ' s used to it.

OSCAR : l tidied th is bloody cupboard last week.

I need to borrow you r bi ke .

We haven i t got one . - Yes , you do .

Oh , that bike , yeah .

What ' s wrong with you?

Erm . . . - What ' s that on your hands?

Er, old age .

Right. I i II see you Iater.

Would you Ii ke some eggs?

Scrambled? Poached? Fried?

You Iook different. What is it?

Fi ne .

What did you have to say that for? - What else was l supposed to say?

Focussing on the positives , your Iook is . . . fantastic .

Oh , than k you .

B ut th is is not going well .

Really? - No , it' s , u m ...

quite a weird atmosphere .

Oh , come on .

Look, why should I em ploy you ?

Do you know what? Maybe you shouldn i t.

What? - No , you ' re right, you ' re right.

I i ve got nothing to offer.

I Iive with my parents , the man I Ioved is married with two kids

everybody in this town hates me

but I am exceptional worker

and I can clean a toilet till it sh i nes Iike the sun .

Matteson .

M i ri Matteson ...

Are you ...

M iranda Matteson?

The M iranda Matteson ?

Yes , I am .

Oh , shit.

Fucking Chri ...

No , darling , just wait!

The-the-the saddle i s too h igh , you can i t-- - You can ' t wear that, you look peculiar.

Iti s a gentleman ' s bi ke . - Come inside

and we i l l fi nd you something more su itable-- - Can you just stop Fritzling me?

Just Iet me out!

U rgh !

I can i t. . . just...

I once ran over a badger on my way to the airport.

It broke my heart.

Theyi re runni ng Iow.

Don ' t. - Sorry.

CAROLl N E : Oh , darl i ng !

Oh , she i s ...

OSCAR : M iri , please . - CAROLl N E : M iri , please !

OSCAR : Please don i t go out there . - CAROLl N E : Don ' t go out there !

OSCAR : M iri , M iri , come back. - CAROLI N E : Oh !

Oh , no .

SEAG U LLS C RY

OSCAR : They don ' t know you .

Oh , Iord ...

Are you happy to start now?

Yes . Real ly?

Yes .

Everyone deserves a second chance .

Even murderers .

It wasn ' t Ii ke that.

What was it I i ke?

It was a Iong time ago , and ...

and I i m ready. . . I i m ready to move on .

# I am a terrible woman #

M USIC : 'iTerrible Woman ii by Siobhan Wilson

# Have a happy heart, a si m ple Iife . . . #

M USI C CONTI N U ES