Original subtitles

# We've been alone for awhile #

# Me and my heart, we're tired #

# As long as you're away from us #

# We're just living in the past #

# As long as you're away from us #

# I'm captive in my heart #

# And there's a good chance #

# We won't survive #

# What have we done to us #

# What made the curtains fall #

# Now I can only say, the show must go on #

# As long as you're away from us #

# I'm captive in my heart #

# And there's a good chance #

# We won't survive #

# We've been alone for awhile #

# Me and my heart, we're tired #

# Now I can only say, the show must go on #

# As long as you're away from us #

# I'm captive in my heart #

# And there's a good chance #

# We won't survive #

# We've been alone for awhile #

# Me and my heart, we're tired #

# Now I can only say, the show must go on #

Another lay?

Did you get everything?

Got it.

Welcome back to the infamous Sex Games Challenge,

motherfucking nerds, geeks, and dorks.

I'm your host with the most, Vic Fears.

And today we have a very special episode for you.

We're going, we're gonna be going live

directly to Italy with Rachel and Ryan,

who are there on vacation.

They prepared a little vacation video for us to see,

but spoiler alert.

You know, you can put away the Vaseline tissues for now.

It's not what you think, motherfuckers.

Anyway, you may know Rachel and Ryan

from previous challenges,

such as your mother knows, any dog goes, and marathon blows.

But this time, they'll take their sex game

to that next fucking level that very few ever get to.

But ah, can't spoiler any shit right now.

So stay tuned, and we'll be going live very soon.

For those viewers who are tuning in for the first time,

or who suffer severe memory loss from severe masturbation,

I recommend that you watch the previous episodes

to realize just to what extent these couples go to,

to degrade themselves in front of you

for the cash prize.

Cash rules everything around me, cream get the money.

Dollar, dollar motherfucking bills, yo.

So the point is,

you fucking self-deprecating nerds

who haven't seen pussy since pussy saw them,

stay tuned, buy massive loads of fucking

Johnson & Johnson Baby Oil, and have fun.

Click on your donations.

'Cause without your fucking donations,

these people would probably die of starvation.

'Cause all they do is fuck all day long.

No one works.

No one goes to fucking school for a better future.

These fucking sexual addicts need you,

chronic masturbators, to survive.

Your donations are fundamental

to the Ultimate Sex Challenge.

Now, you may have seen them jerk-off their classmates,

unbeknownst to their teacher, with the hidden cameras.

You might've seen them flashing in public elevators.

No sexual act is too low.

So how low will they go?

We will show you very soon.

We have a short video to show you

from the last leg of Ryan and Rachel's Euro trip fuck-fest,

coming from Italy now.

But spoiler alert, it's not what you think.

So you might wanna wait on getting the Vaseline and tissues,

you fucking sexually-depraved animals.

So what do you want?

I, I never know what to order.

Vegetarian? - Nah.

Nah.

You think I need better to eat a salad?

I'm, I'm sorry. - You think I need a salad?

Never said that.

Uh.

Pizza.

- Pizza. - Again pizza?

Really don't know.

- Buongiorno. - Buongiorno.

Ah, same.

Today we celebrate.

And what are we celebrating for?

Our success in the last challenge.

You were fantastic yesterday.

- Oh, honey, I love you. - I love you more.

Honey, listen to this.

For the lovers of the extreme, a new challenge.

If you'll brave this, you'll win the price of 10 grands.

Ooh.

The challenge is record yourself in an act of love

inside of a royal palace.

- Mm-hm. - The video must be

uploaded two days from now.

Good luck and may the best couple wins.

Well, we already won.

We're in Italy.

There are more historic monuments here

than in the rest of the world.

And how hard can it be to find a royal one?

Perfect.

Yeah.

Mm.

Find it, the nearest one is half an hour away from here.

They better prepare the money bags.

We already won.

Grazie.

Seriously!

Another closed one, seriously?

Forget the prize.

What we do now?

Don't worry, we'll find another way, okay?

Yeah, how?

Don't know, check the rules, see is there's

some kind of caveat we can exploit.

No, no, no.

Okay, um, if you're unable

to shoot the video 'cause of closed or crowded location,

the only way to complete the challenge

is to go from riches to rags.

You have to find an isolated location

with a creepy past full of unsolved mysteries.

The prize for the alternative solution

is of six grands instead of 10.

That's fair.

Well, we are in Italy, aren't we?

We'll find a place, the outskirts of the towns

are full of strange and creepy places.

Well, let me check.

Yeah.

Well, ah.

Black magic triangle.

Boring.

Satanists, I'd rather not.

Devil's Bridge.

I'd rather not mess with him.

Forsaken Villas.

This may be the one.

Abandoned location in the Alps

located near the old nuclear power plants.

The radiation levels are safe.

But in the '70s and '80s, there have been

many lost people, and a lot of work-related injuries.

Sounds good.

It sounds dangerous.

Oh, come on, I'm sure it's because of the boss

who was kind of Scrooge who didn't want to pay

for security checks.

Or some mobster who wanted some sweetness to disappear.

Come on, we'll be fine.

If you say so.

Okay.

Let's go. - Come on,

let's hop in the car.

You know you always hear that these little mountain towns

are full of strange, creepy, interesting people.

I only see old geezers.

Only old people.

Yeah.

Oh look, we get to the cable car.

Finally.

Again, and then once again in the parking lot.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Mm, finally.

It's strange weather.

Was sunny before.

Just a few minutes ago.

Now it's cloudy.

We're in the mountains.

One minute might be sunny, the next might be cloudy.

The next, might be raining.

Rain the next.

Ew.

Okay.

Let's go. - Yep.

Hello?

Excuse me, sir, could you give us some informations, please?

I'll take it as a yes.

We are trying to go to the abandoned village.

Can you tell us if, is this the right cable car to go there?

Why?

'Cause it will be so kind of you to tell us.

Why you want to go there?

No one goes there.

Especially two city losers like you.

Excuse me.

We want to go there

because we want to go there.

And I think it's none of your business.

You're right.

It's not my business.

But you should listen to me.

No one goes there.

It's been decades now.

In the '70s,

this whole area was nuclear power plants.

But then greed.

Greed changes everything.

Sooner or later,

hits you in the back.

There were a few accidents.

But for the community, it was okay.

Few questions.

A lot of work, a lot of money.

Then people start dying.

It was the water.

Was the air.

All, the whole area

was quarantined.

People could not escape.

People start dying.

They were hunting each other.

People were dying.

Children were

with disease.

The death was all around the mountains.

You should, you should not go there.

Don't, don't go there.

Don't go there.

Don't go there.

Charming, I think we'll be on our way.

You've being very kind.

Have a lovely day. - Wait, wait, wait!

Take this.

It's for the radiation.

If you hear it, run.

Riveting, have a lovely day, thank you kindly.

Beware the hunters!

Hunters.

Yes.

Let me tell you, this freaking thing doesn't work.

Oh, don't worry, we'll just look around.

We'll find something.

Can't be this far off.

Well, we can always go back.

What can go wrong?

We're pretty high, aren't we?

- Yeah, we are. - Just imagine

how it'd be too fall!

Idiot.

Well, now we walk.

What?

Um, I'm not dressed up for hiking in the woods,

you know? - If you prefer,

we can just go back and screw the challenge.

No.

Are you sure this is the right way?

I think so.

Before this freaking thing stop working,

it says the place should be one miles away from here.

Fine, one place is good as any other

to just land a tent and do something.

Hey!

Woo!

Hey oh!

This is a nice one.

Um, yeah.

So how about we plant the tent here

and start practicing for our challenge.

Sounds nice.

Welcome back to the Sex Game Challenge,

you motherfucking degenerate sickos and sickettes.

I'm your host with the most, Vic motherfucking Fierce.

Last time we tuned in, it was getting kind of hot

in here because our horny fucking couple,

Rachel and Ryan, were trying to break in

to the royal palace of Turin for the grand prize

of 10 motherfucking thousand dollars, U.S.

If you're lucky, I might take off something else,

you know what I'm saying?

Nah, just joking.

Anyway, since that didn't go down, some guard caught them.

Since that didn't go down,

since some fucking bastard guard caught them,

they decided to go for the second grand prize of six K.

Which is, remember, huh?

To fuck in a haunted town.

Now, I personally believe

in those motherfucking ghouls and ghosts.

I don't know about you guys.

But the idea of them watching as they get it on

kind of makes me, ah, eh.

You know what I'm saying?

Anyway, let's go.

Oh, we, we ah, we see that Rachel finally found some signal.

So let's go live to them

and get a little update on their fucking progress.

Hello, guys, what's up?

So apparently we arrived in this lost woods

for the challenge, and we couldn't take

the challenge at the royal palace because it was closed.

So tomorrow, we'll do the challenge

in an abandoned village.

Ah.

There, my big man is planting the tent

for us tonight.

Hello, how's it going?

- Fuck. - Oh, poor thing.

Oh no.

- Fuck. - Poor, my little thing, no.

Told ya, I would've met.

See, told ya.

Guys, look, this is my man.

Mm-hm, he planted the tent.

So good.

- Bye. - See you tomorrow.

Ryan.

Ryan.

Wake up.

What?

Hun.

Wait here.

- Don't go. - Don't worry, it's fine.

Okay, it's fine.

Hello?

Is anyone there?

Is anyone there!

So we can have a laugh together, right?

Hey.

It's me.

Come here, come here.

Hey, it's fine, it's fine.

It's all right, it's all right.

Yeah yeah yeah yeah.

- Where were you? - Just outside.

I was just here, I was just here.

I was so scared.

I'm here, okay?

I'm here.

It's fine.

Everything's fine.

Rachel, come here.

Yeah?

What is this?

Don't, don't touch it!

Maybe it is the thing we saw tonight.

I'm still shivering.

Probably is just some, some child

who thinks he's funnier than he is.

The weirdo, it's the guy at the cable car.

He shouted something, but.

There you have it.

Must be him, or his son.

They woke up in the night and thought it would've been

so funny to pull a prank on us.

What a fucking sense of humor.

Indeed.

Honey, let's finish this challenge

and go away from here ASAP.

Indeed again.

Let's go.

Ah.

Hey, you okay?

Yeah.

Fuck off the idea of dressing up like this.

'Cause we are going to Hollywood party.

You're right.

But we have to do this for the followers.

Screw the followers.

If I have bristles under my feet, you'll carry me, okay?

Love, we have to keep going.

We barely have enough money on our account to pay

for the gasoline to go back home.

Also, I can already hear the river, so we are close.

We find the right place.

We shoot our video, we win the challenge.

We win the six grands.

And we go back home.

Happy and rich, right?

Yeah, you're right.

Let's go.

Welcome back to the ultimate sexual online experience,

you chronic fucking degenerate masturbators.

Last time we tuned in to Rachel and Ryan,

they had very poor signal, and they were looking for

an abandoned house in the ghost cannibal town of Schultze

to perform their final sexual challenge.

And any moment now, eh,

any moment now, they'll be sending us

their final sex challenge tape.

So get the baby oil-Vaseline tissues and donations ready,

because without your sweet little contributions,

we wouldn't be here right now.

So thank you and fuck you very much.

There you have it.

Abandoned village.

Uh-huh.

But it is perfect for, for the challenge.

I didn't exactly get what happened here.

Just know that at once a point, everyone left.

Intriguing, isn't it?

Uh.

Yeah?

It's kind of scary.

Well, let's find small place where to do the challenge.

Let's go.

This one seems perfect.

Ryan.

Hello there.

You son of a- - What was that?

Hey!

Hey.

Hey!

Where the fuck you think you're going?

These fucking creeps.

Hey!

Come back here, you asshole!

Hey!

Asshole, where are you?

Fuck sake this.

Fucking asshole.

Hey, where are you?

Fuck.

- Ryan- - Rachel.

- Where were you? - We have to go.

But don't ever leave me alone.

No, no, no, we have to go now.

- What happened? - I chased the thing

down to the river.

There was blood everywhere.

- Blood? - We, I think someone

died there, we have to go now.

Okay?

Gimme this.

Go, go, go, go.

Look here, let's go.

Where's the tent?

Where's the fucking tent?

- No. - Fuck.

No.

Must have been the thing.

Honey, I'm exhausted.

What are we going to do now without our stuff?

Ryan, I heard the noise.

Who was it?

I, I, I don't know, but we have to go.

- Come on. - Can't stay here.

The cable car ain't far, come on.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Fuck.

Fuck!

Fuck!

There's no signal.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

We can, we can start walking down the mountain, okay?

We find a house or a farm, or who knows what.

And we'll ask for a phone.

All right, okay?

It's fine.

It's fine, okay, okay.

- Okay. - Okay, let's go.

I don't know what happened.

We are suffering some technical difficulties

it seems, because we were told that the video

would be arriving shortly, and, ah, it has not arrived.

Now, whether it's the poor signal

they have in the ghost town of Schultze, Italy,

or God knows what happened,

we don't know.

I see from the comments below

that there's great anticipation.

I see from the comments below.

Unfortunately, uh, I, I am very sad.

I'm very, I'm, I am more than sad.

I am aggressively fucking pissed off!

That this fucking video hasn't arrived yet.

Our viewers are there with their cocks in hand

just waiting for the fucking thing

to be uploaded any second now.

The anticipation is not only killing me,

but it's making me extremely fucking horny.

I'm gonna go and ask my assistant

to fucking jerk me off in the moment

because I can't take this shit no more.

I don't know what to say.

These things are not supposed to happen.

It's not professional of them.

But hey, maybe they got caught in a shit storm.

Maybe, ah, they couldn't find the proper house.

Were fucking on the street, some neighbors saw them,

and shot them with a fucking salt air rifle.

We don't know.

We don't know, the moment we know, you have my word,

you have Vic Fierce's fucking word.

I just have one word, like my balls,

I don't break them for fucking nobody.

You got me, one word, that, my word, which is worth

its fucking weight in fucking cock.

So, as we greatly anticipate

the arrival of Rachel and Ryan's final sex challenge tape,

I have to address some of the comments below.

Especially this one comment from Sugar_Cube69.

Complaining that the show is not professional.

Sugar_Cube69, you fucking degenerate cock-sucking low life,

no-sex-having piece of fucking shit.

We see that you contributed only 10 euros

in the past month, and you've been masturbating

to our fucking show for 12 months.

That's not even fucking one Euro a month.

That's nothing.

You're fucking nothing.

Your mom is nothing.

Your father is nothing, you're fucking disgusting.

You're a degenerate fucking cock-in-hand,

never-saw-pussy-since-pussy-saw-you degenerate,

fucking cock-sucking, monkey-licking,

ball-snatching cockroach up the ass fucking shit.

I don't even have the fucking words to describe you.

I've been giving you the best fucking underground content

on the web.

You cock-sucking piece of shit

I've ever fucking seen.

And this is the fucking thanks that you show me?

Because of a technical delay,

which has nothing to do with the show.

Are you serious?

Actually, you know what?

Sugar_Cube69, you've been officially blocked.

Actually probably didn't even see

the last of my fucking sentence!

'Cause I already blocked you midway

through the fucking sentence.

Fuck you and the hole you came from.

So.

I'm interested in knowing

your own personal sexual experiences.

Where's the craziest place you ever fucked?

And with who and why?

Is there a why?

Or are we just animals?

Drugged by a deep desire,

instinct-based desire, to just procreate?

And society made shit complicated for us.

You can't fuck here, you can't fuck there.

You need permission.

The fuck outta here.

So that's all for tonight's masturbation session

on the world-famous Sex Games Challenge.

My name, as you well know,

the host with the most, the Vic Fears.

And everyone out there, suck my fucking dick.

- Honey. - Uh?

I'm exhausted.

Come on, we just have to find a phone.

Remember the challenge,

Screw the challenge!

I just want to go home.

And take a shower.

And, and, and sleep in a comfy bed

in a four-star hotel room.

And how are we supposed to pay for the stars,

and the room, and the bed

without the money of the challenge?

Just find a way to take back my butt to town.

And I'll find a way to earn some money.

In a way or another.

There, you see?

A house already.

Nothing to worry about.

Wait, what if the creature sleeps here?

We have to

get in, find a phone, get out.

Okay?

Let's be quiet.

There might be someone here.

What kind of a place is this?

The smell is atrocious.

Found something?

Just dust.

It's locked.

Let me try.

Oh god.

What the fuck happened here?

Let's, I don't wanna be here.

Please, let's go. - You're right.

Let's get out of here.

first we need to find a phone.

Fuck the fucking phone.

Fuck, he's back.

What do we do?

What do we do now?

Fuck.

Over here.

Rachel.

Rachel.

Rachel, are you okay?

I don't again.

I can't free myself either.

The rope is too tight.

Rachel, are you okay?

Hurry, let's get free and run away from here.

Now. - There are drawers

under the table.

Try and look, if you can find a knife or, or something.

Good.

Rachel.

Please cut loose.

The door.

Yes.

Of course.

Found this.

Let's go.

No, I can't leave you behind!

If you, if you want to leave, you, you have to go.

That thing's an hunter.

And I'm loosing too much blood.

He'll track us down.

I'm, I'm wounded prey.

No.

No no no.

Hey hey, stay, stay here.

Okay, okay, I have an idea.

Okay, okay.

What is it?

Trust me.

Okay?

Hey.

Hey, you asshole.

I'm here.

Hey!

You!

Say hello to my little friend.

Ryan!

Hey, hey.

Please, hey, we did it.

Please, please.

Ryan.

Ryan.

Don't leave me please.

Please don't leave me.

Please, look at me.

Welcome back to the motherfucking Sex Games Challenge.

I'm your host with the most, Vic motherfucking Fears.

And unfortunately, as Shakespeares once said,

shit does happen.

And when it happens, uh, you gotta make the most with it.

And on with the next one.

Show must go on.

So Ryan and Rachel, last we heard from them,

they were headed to the cannibalistic ghost town

of Schultze, Italy for their, uh,

second grand prize of 6,000.

But something must have happened.

The video never came through.

We hope they came, because if you don't cum,

what's the point of fucking life, right?

You sexual sickos.

Point being the show must go on.

So we're looking for new participants

here on the very famous casting couch,

if you know what I mean.

For the Sex Games Challenge.

Some of the new challenges include

Golden Shower During Golden Hour, for our film enthusiasts.

You know, the golden hour is either

at sunset or dawn, where the light is just perfect

to get peed on.

Having said this, oh, we have the, uh,

the fan favorite request.

We must have a lot of Fight Club enthusiasts

amongst our fellow masturbators.

The masturbating in the, in the mashed potatoes,

the mashed potato masturbation session

in a three-star restaurant.

Or more, you fucking whore.

Because the point is, it's too easy

to masturbate in the local diner

where they probably know you.

At midnight.

You wanna go in the jam-packed,

in the center of town, restaurant, good Yelp reviews,

and find a way of getting to the kitchen, and masturbate.

That's not as easy as it may sound.

I know because I tried it a few times in my earlier days.

So.

Do you have what it takes?

Do you have what it takes to be a winner

with your wiener?

Here on the Sex Games Challenge?

'Cause if you do,

send us your cock pics, your pussy fucking pics,

at the email address below,

and get ready to blow for the show.

Oh yeah.

Oh god, yes.