Original subtitles

Morning, how are you?

I can sort of see you. Perfect. Yeah.

It's slightly like Big Brother is watching you.

Shame on you! Shame on you!

You're a wanker!

I hope I don't get a Cease and Desist letter from Johnnie Boden,

"Could you please not wear my clothes,

you awful Tory, right-wing, fox-hunting Brexiteer."

They sound the horn and off they all go. Magnificent.

I'm well aware that there are risks in reality TV.

A worse result at a General Election

than John Major's defeat in 1997.

From the ashes of disaster grow the roses of success. Are you okay?

Let's go to Disneyland Paris in France!

A top priority is to go to the battlefields.

Jacob Rees-Mogg!

Could always go for Strictly or I'm A Celeb.

Hur-hur-hur-hur. I feel in a terrible state of undress.

How do you feel about following in this long line of family documentaries?

I think this will be a rather different kettle of fish from The Kardashians.

Why?Well, I've no idea 'cause I've never watched the programmes about them, so I don't have a clue.

Please be gone. Vote Conservative!

We are now in opposition. We have no power.

The chauffeurs have gone, the red boxes have gone.

The power, the excitement, the charisma of power

has been taken away from us.

Jacob Rees-Mogg is out of touch with reality.

The size of the defeat was simply a measure

of the gross incompetence on every front.

I hope we won't even consider another Tory government in the next decade.

The Conservative Party has laid out the timetable

for finding its next leader.

Maybe this will be the end of the Tory Party,

if they make a mistake in this leadership contest.

This leadership election is pretty fundamental for the Tory Party

because the Tory Party did stunningly badly

at the last election.

It was our worst election result, in terms of number of seats,

since 1761.

That gives you an idea of the historic contest

of how bad it was.

Wanker!

I'm sorry I lost. I wanted to carry on doing it.

And there is a certain frustration,

now I'm no longer a member of parliament.

So, for the Tory leadership.

Well, I'm not a Tory member of parliament anymore, as you all know.

GB News fortunately keeps me busy.

That's absolutely great because I've already got something.

Jacob, well done. Great stuff.

So then it's thinking about what else to do.

Do you think being part of GB News is good for him?

I think it'll help him to keep him, like, relevant, you know?

Because otherwise it's like you kind of go into, like, political wilderness.

I'm not actually very good at doing nothing.

I'm quite good at sleeping, but I'm not very good at doing nothing.

So I always think of something to do.

Having a couple of sheep, I'd like to have more.

Perhaps having bees.

Making cider is something I feel is very much part of what do I do next.

Shall I tip you into there? No!No? Okay, then.

Today we're gonna make cider. We usually do it one weekend

in October.

And we get the machinery going and that mushes up the apples.

Then they get pressed. You then get the most delicious apple juice.

And then Shaun works some magic and it turns from apple juice into cider.

I like your hat, Sixtus. What does it say?

"Make Tories Conservative again."

Oh, you're going to take it like that, are you?Oh, no, I can't.

I can't. Let's take it together.

Come on, crew.

There we go. But don't pull my arm off, old bean.

Bet Labour will try and tax us on it.

because it's free.

They don't like you doing anything for free, do they?

Right.

I've got some hard-wearing tweed which will survive pretty much anything.

And I've got enough ties that if one of them gets covered in cider

there's another one that can take its place.

Off you go. Walk round.

Faster.

Yeah, he's enjoying t. He's getting into it.

You'll sleep well tonight.

This is literally a child-powered cider press.

Come on! Keep going.

This is good child labour, innit?

They're lucky he ain't down a pit.

Done?

Ninety litres. Not a bad day's work.

Mother's milk.

So this is the first tasting. No, I tasted it earlier.

By me. Yes.

First tasting by me of... It's delicious.

...the 2024 in preparation cider,

routine apple juice.

Cheeks will get much redder from Charterhouse to Cheddar

because there's still more cider in the jar

and we have gallons of cider in the jar.

It's very good. It's not as sweet as it is some years.

I'd say it's a little bit sharper.

Rocket fuel.

Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! They can drink the juice.

Strong?

That'll put hairs on your chest.

"Impressively hot and humid."

Hi, Nanny. How are you getting on with the crossword?Not very well.

I can't do it today. It's too difficult.

What about that long one in the middle? Seventeen.

"Occult sorcerer."

Oh, that's a necromancer. Oh, my goodness.

N-E-C...

N-E-C-R-O

M-A-N-C-E-R.

Veronica is the key member of the Rees-Mogg family.

She predates me. She joined us 59 years ago

and she really is absolutely remarkable.

What has Nanny taught you, Jacob?

The foundation of life.

To keep calm and carry on, for want of a better term.

In the famous nanny's phrase, er, "hope for the best,

expect the worst and accept the result."

That's fiesta. Celebration carnival. Oh, right.

Now you've done so well on the crossword, you win the prize.

I thought we should have a party for your 59 years.

So do you think we should invite some of the nannies and

get a few people over? Have a little sort of tea party,

probably is the better time. That sounds nice.

Plus champagne? Oh, that sounds very nice.

Perhaps something bigger next year, when it's 60 years. Diamond Jubilee.

Do you think I'll last that long? You've got no choice. We need you.

We're not letting you off that easily, Nanny.

Well, we're having a little party for Nanny, not a huge party.

But we're having a few of Nanny's friends round

and just a little celebration of 59 glorious years.

I think that's done.

Nice to see some nannies I haven't seen for a while.

Nice to have them round for a cup of tea

and a glass of something stronger, if we're lucky.

Some cider, do you think? And some cider.

No, not cider.

All right, sweetheart? Yes, Daddy and I are going out to dinner.

Bye. Um, good night, love. Good night.

We are going to dinner at a wonderful steak restaurant

in Jermyn Street, which I've been to a number of times before.

Thank you. Hello.

I hope I'm not late. No, no, I've only just got here.

Thank goodness. Okay.

Thank you. Remind me, what is chorizo?

It's spicy sausage. It's spicy. Okay. It's not like... Yeah, yeah, no, all right.

Jacob, would you call yourself a romantic?

No.

Why not?

Well, I think it's not very British.

What do you think you'd like to drink?

Resist the temptation to reply "lots."

How are we getting on? Very well, thank you.

Are you ready to order? Thank you.

Please could I have the fillet steak?How would you like it cooked?

Medium-well.

Dinner conversation does often turn to politics in some form or another.

So I was very pleased. Um,

the very nice and good Chairman of the Tory Party, Richard Fuller, rang me up,

to ask if I could potentially speak at the Party Conference.

Oh, wow. To which we were going anyway, I sincerely hope.Yeah.

Well done. But it would be quite fun to do.

Politics is definitely one of his great loves.

Politics, Catholicism,

history and cricket.

Oh, and us.

It's too early to say. It slightly depends who the leader of the party is,

and whether the Conservatives have a hope.Mmm.

There are sort of irons in the fire and we'll see what comes up.

I think Jacob was married to the Conservative Party before he was married to me.

So we've got cucumber sandwiches,

egg sandwiches, and smoked salmon sandwiches.

Have we got enough teapots and things here?

Er, we have, I'm sure. Okay, well I'll find all that.

Hello, hello. Everything under control? Fairy cakes? Excellent!

Did you make those, Nanny?No. Oh, Nicky made the fairy cakes?

I did.How delicious. And cucumber sandwiches. Every luxury.

We've got some champagne in the fridge,

so everything is ready.

P. I need a P. I need a P.

A. A. A. A.

I need a double N. I also needs N's.

The 20th of September is

Veronic's Nanniversary, as I call it.

The anniversary of when she started working for the Rees-Moggs,

when she was 21.

Oh, there's no A's here!

"Happy Nanniversary", that's what I'm gonna be putting. On the front at least.

I wouldn't have had such good food if it wasn't for Nanny.

I would have had Mummy food, which...Mummy food is good.

It's questionable. What?

It's not as good as Nanny's.

Other than Mary Poppins,

Veronica is probably one of Britain's best-known nannies,

thanks to all the column inches that have been written

over the decades about her in association with Jacob.

The satirists, needless to say, find it hilarious

that Jacob Rees-Mogg still has his nanny around.

No A. Not one! There's no A's!

Glitter!

Shush. I found the glitter.

The A has gone!

Please do not thump.

Jacob absolutely adores Veronica. And understandably.

Bah!

He's very lucky to have her looking after his children,

not leaving halfway through

because she decided to retire or anything.

She's slightly worried that the children might let her down and show her up.

She said, "I hope they don't show me up in front of my friends

and my friends think I'm doing a bad job and should actually retire."

I need an A! It's not ending very well.

I can't finish this stupid card!

I can't find an A!

How different are

your second generation of Rees-Mogg children to the original generation?

I'm afraid modern age... No, give me the old set-up.

Just more civilised.

You can share.

Sixtus, no. No kickboxing.

Now they're rampaging, clambering up walls and all sorts of, er, carryings on.

Did you ever want a family yourself at all?

I never thought about it too much.

I was too busy looking after everybody else's children.

So I didn't really... That didn't happen.

And were you ever married at all, Veronica?No. No.

That would have been quite a revelation if you'd said, "Oh, yes."

"When I was 16."

I was telling the truth. Oh, my goodness.

That would have been a surprise.

How are you feeling about your charges?

I read the Riot Act this morning.

They'll think that Nanny couldn't look after a donkey.

Give it a push, Jean.

Oh, hello. Hello, Veronica. Lovely to see you, Jean.

So, Veronica, how do you know Jean? Oh, I've known Jean...

I tell you what, we were the Conservatives.

Yes, and Jacob introduced us, didn't he?Yes, he did.

It was the Tories that got us together.Yes, it was.

Hello, Barbara. Hello. Nice to see you. Veronica, how are you?

Fifty-seven years, is it, with Jacob?Fifty-nine.

Fifty-nine. Gosh. I love your red shoes.

Well... They're lovely.

They're killing my corns. So are mine.

Cup of tea? How lovely. Thank you.

Hello. Hello.

Jessy. Yes. Lovely to see you.

My former lady's chairman, in the good old days.

Barbara. I know all of you so well

by reputation and the stories that I've heard.

These nanny gatherings are quite something.

Did you think at 80 you could be running after seven year olds?

I probably could, yes.

But I wouldn't want to. Want to.

I think I've done my bit.

Have I got to have a second? Yes.Have I got to be greedy? Oh, my goodness.

Well, I will have a sausage.

Most of the people here Veronica's known for at least 40 years.

And some of them probably remember me as a very annoying little child.

I will have one of these. Thank you very much.

Wow, look at that! Oh, it's got stuck.

Oh, dear. You were a bit heavy-handed with the glue.

"Happy 59th Anniversary.

Love, Alfred." Oh, thank you very much. I think I...

Thank you very much, Sixtus. Thank you.

Sixtus and Alfred are being absolutely brilliant. They're not showing Veronica up.

"Nanny is the best."Wow! Three exclamation marks. "Love from Sixtus."

Are you going to the conference? I am.

I used to love going to the conference. It was like our Ascot.

It's, um, Helena and my weekend away.

It's about the only time each year when we do go away together without the children.

So who are they gonna choose as the leader?

We need somebody who is going to be Conservative,

because we've just been too wishy-washy.

Oh, good.

Thank you all for coming. I'm sorry, you never get to visit me without getting a speech.

It's compulsory.

She's been the centre of the family. She's been loyal and kindly.

The wooden spoon has often been threatened but never used.

I want to have a toast

to Nanny.

Fifty-nine years, and to looking after the next generation.

So, the next 60 years.

Veronica, can you imagine life without Jacob and the Rees-Moggs?

No, I can't actually. No. I'd be lost without them.

I'm gonna need quite a lot of looking after as I get older,

so Nanny's got to remain on duty.

Nanny, I need you to stand up. There we go.

If we measure her,

it says, "Practically perfect in every way."

Our very own Mary Poppins.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of god, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

Where are you off to, Helena? Off to Birmingham.

Er, for the annual Conservative Party Conference

with Jacob. We go every year.

It's our annual two or three days away a deux, just the two of us.

Jacob obviously no longer a Conservative candidate

or member of parliament, but, er, too bad.

We've probably got to the Millwall Football Club stage -

no one likes us, we don't care.

Um, but we're going anyway.

Angel of God, my guardian dear, to whom His love commits me here.

Ever this day be at my side to light and guard, to rule and guide. Amen.

I'm obviously not eligible to stand for Leader

as I'm not an MP, even if I wanted to.

But there are other things that you can do.

That obviously is dependent on supporting the right candidate,

the one who wins.

I love politics. It's, along with regular cups of coffee, what keeps me ticking over.

I haven't stopped crying since the General Election.

I imagine that the Conservative Party Conference this year

will be possibly smaller than usual.

Um, maybe less well attended.

More downbeat, obviously, following a massive kicking by the electorate back in July.

Fortunately, because there's a leadership election this year,

Party Conference is going to be

the gladiatorial arena for the four remaining candidates.

Tom Tugendhat, Kemi Badenoch,

James Cleverly and Robert Jenrick.

And they're all good candidates. They're all people I like.

But I've always thought highly of Robert Jenrick and got on well with him.

How are you? Very well.Good, good.

I don't look like too much of a drowned rat?

I greatly enjoy attending the various debates,

or panels, or whatever Jacob is taking part in.

But I definitely also enjoy looking round all the stands

and visiting the shopping opportunities there.

Oh, hello!

Hello, darling.

Here we go, here we go, here we go.

You may be about to discover that I do a good chunk of my Christmas shopping at the party shop.

"This food is not for burning."

Well, that's Jacob's sense of humour.

Conservative socks.

Anselm's socks always seem to vanish. Perhaps he needs Conservative socks.

Alfred's gonna get a Winston Churchill water bottle, whether he likes it or not, I think.

For our next member debate,

on protecting free speech, please welcome Fleur Butler

and Jacob Rees-Mogg.

It's very flattering to be asked because

I'm not sure the organisers of the Party Conference were that keen

to get me on the main stage when I WAS in the government, let alone now I'm not in it.

And you, ladies and gentlemen,

you, the real heroes of conservatism,

you are the ones who are here. You're the ones

who, after an election that did not go entirely according to plan,

have come through the rain and the storms to get to Birmingham

to back our party, to remain with the party. Thank you so much.

The Party Conference is an opportunity

for people to speak freely, particularly after an election defeat,

and having members' debates and to ignore the wokerati.

We must defend freedom of speech, to hold back the tide of stupidity.

Because I was a biology teacher,

I know what a woman is.

On my union Facebook page,

they advertised Drag Queen Bingo.

Outside Nigel Farage's local pub,

I should think the Tory Party Conference is the least woke place you could find.

Angus Allan, Colchester constituency,

I identify as a Conservative.

I'm gonna fall off the end if I'm not careful. Morning, Jacob.

Morning. How are you? Good, good.

Caught in all directions. Hello.I'm a massive fan.

Oh, what a nice thing to say! Can I get a quick selfie? Three, two, one.

This is the life. The Conservative Party family. I'm part of that family

as much as I'm part of the Rees-Mogg family.

Politics is in my blood.

I really can't see myself taking up knitting.

Okay. There you go. I took a couple.Thank you.

Politics, as far as I'm concerned,

is getting the wind that kindles a great blaze.

And I can't pretend that the winds that blew at the conference

didn't re-ignite what was pretty much there anyway.

Thank you. My pleasure. Thank you.

It's not one of those things you can just switch off.

I can now give you the results of the fourth and final parliamentary ballot.

James Cleverly has been sensationally knocked out

of the leadership contest today.

It is going to be between Robert Jenrick and Kemi Badenoch.

They are the two Tory leadership candidates

who will now be going to the members to fight it out.

Hello, hello, hello. How's my great boy?

I'm fine. You're fine?

Was that your mother's birthday cake from yesterday?Yes.

Would you like some? I won't actually, thank you.

Have you done your reading? Yes, they did it on the bus. Oh, well done.

I picked him up at four and he, um, did more of the Maths.

And he's nearly finished.

Then he had his violin ensemble and they both did their reading on the bus home.

But he's got to finish his Maths 'cause it's due tomorrow. He started it on the train.

Hello.

Mummy! Mummy! Get down.

Why? Get down. Where you were.

I want to do it.

Um, Anselm, Alfred, Sixtus,

can you keep a secret? Yes.

And you mustn't mention this to anybody.

It may become public, but you mustn't mention it to anybody.

All right.

Robert Jenrick just rang. Oh, yes?To say

if he, um, gets the leadership, would I become the Party Chairman?

Yes! So that's... I mean, I...

I said I'd get back to him soon.

Robert and I have always been friendly.

We've always got on. We got on when we were in the cabinet together.

So no, I was absolutely astonished.

You'll get off making me lunch every day 'cause I won't be in for lunch.

Jacob, that's brilliant. That was mentioned at the Party Conference. Dan Hannon has been suggesting it.

It is a great job. And in opposition, it's a fantastic job

because you try and get the Tories ready for re-election.

Jacob has always relished the cut and thrust of party politics

and would absolutely relish the opportunity

to sort of get back out on the campaign trail

in some form or other.

It is a job I would absolutely love to do.

I'd love to try and reform the party, revitalise the membership.

If I want to be maintaining a profile,

I could go into the jungle. That's not what I want to do.

I want to be part of rebuilding the Conservative Party.

- Right. Ready to make the Guy?- Yep.

Make his legs look fairly respectable.

That's good.

What's going on here, then?

This is making the Guy for November 5th.

Do you do this every year, Veronica? Every year, for years.

Look at this. Shaun makes a bonfire,

and we make the Guy,

and then they have a bit of a party, fireworks display, don't we?

Oh, you hold him and I'll show you what we do.

You cut a hole in his backside.

And then put a stick through it. Right there.Aha.

What do you know of the Guy Fawkes story?

All I know is...

is that he tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament.

He tried to kill the King,

about 10,000 million other people.

He looks like a creep now. My goodness.

I don't think the poor man was smiling like that

on the stretcher thing that they put him on.

Stand the poor man up again.

I know, what about a little moustache?

That'll make him look more like a man.

It looked rubbish.

It was the worst Guy I've ever seen in my life.

Oh, dear, he is a disaster!

Good morning, Robert. Ready to hit the campaign trail? Absolutely. Ready and full of beans.

Very nice to see you. Nice to see you. Um... Excellent.

Onwards and upwards. Onwards and upwards.

Um, where do you sit?

I said I'll do as I'm told. You're our VIP.

No, no, you're the candidate.

You're the racehorse.

For me to become Tory Party Chairman, Robert has to win,

which I obviously want him to do.

Oh, Miss Warman, hello. It's, um, Jacob Rees-Mogg, um, calling

on behalf of Robert Jenrick for his campaign,

um, in the hope that you might be thinking of lending him your vote

in the leadership election.

Oh, no! Oh, what a pity. Oh, well, never mind.

Hi, my name's Christopher. I'm volunteering on behalf of... I'm Bryce, calling on behalf of...

The real attraction is that it is a challenge.

The frontline doesn't really matter.

That's why he's asked me to be Party Chairman,

because, um, I've always been somebody

who's thought the membership are the lifeblood of the party.

Jacob is really popular with the Conservative Party members 'cause he's a true Conservative.

There was some polling that said that after Winston Churchill

and Margaret Thatcher, he was the next most Conservative,

the most popular Conservative. And, of course, the others are dead,

so Jacob was... ...was the best person that we could turn to.

Right, Jacob, we're outside Conservative Central Office

and both of us share a determination to transform

this organisation, but the party itself.

In a Tory leadership, it's very hard

to get through to members,

so Robert's doing a lot of social media,

particularly aimed at younger Tory Party members

who are more likely to see things online.

And it needs to do modern campaigning techniques,

it needs to understand social media and appeal to younger voters.

But crucially, it needs to stop condescending to our members.

Did that car get in the way?

We probably have to do it again. I don't think it would do to have a Bentley parking next to us.No.

All political parties at all times need to reinvent themselves to appeal to the next generation.

And making sure that you, once again,

feel proud to be part of our party.

Clearly the bells are ringing heavenly for you. Very good.

Is that gonna work? There was someone who was scantily clad at the window.

That was quite something.

Nice. That's good.

Today there is a photo shoot at Gournay Court for the series.

That's lovely. That's really nice.

Not particularly used to photo shoots.

"Would you turn around and look out of the window?" "No." "Oh, okay, then."

How will I not look like a complete div?

Is he ready yet? He's just being done.

What? I haven't brushed his hair. They're just setting up. Oh, thank God, they're setting up.

Hold him. Sorry. Someone hold him still, please.

There we go.

I'm trying to make sure that everyone looks vaguely respectable.

He looks like he's going to restart the Third Reich.

He is not going to restart the Third Reich.

Can you please not be unhelpful? It is a little bit German.

Just go away, you two.

She's a momager. She's good at directing people.

If you've got six kids, you've got to...

you've got to be good at that. You're the boss.

No, no, no, no, no! Do not mess it up.

I'll do it again. No, I'll do it again.No!

You're not on yet anyway, so...

No, don't brush my hair! I don't want brushed hair!

I need to chill out slightly.

I think we are now ready for Alfred. Good.Yeah?

Oh, Alfred. No.

Just slightly. Can you brush your own hair then, please?

The younger children posed with props, which was quite fun. That's nice.

I did not pose with any props.

One of the children unwisely suggested hunting whip.

Ah, traditional rural pursuit.

And other people will probably think sexual deviant.

We have got Alfred. Mary was here a moment ago. We've got Nanny.

No, those are none of my children. Just making sure.

Sixtus?

Is there still no Sixtus?

The truth is, getting all six children

in the same place at any one point is extremely difficult.

I'm only doing one photo. Right, well it'll be very quick.

Come on then, we need your photograph taken.

Right, let's get everybody sitting down who is here.

Three, two, one. And say cheese.

That's good. That's lovely. Or Brexit.Or Brexit.

Firework day today. Aye, I know. You ready?

No.

So I reckon sausage rolls first.

And then we've got flapjacks. We'll walk round with them.

They're not gonna eat their dinner. What, this family? Course they will.

They're like bottomless pits.

Why are we having the bonfire night tonight?

'Cause Jacob's going to London tomorrow. It's the Conservative leadership election.

Who do you think's gonna win?

I think Jenrick should win. Yeah, if Jenrick wins,

Jacob's gonna be Party Chairman.

Oh, right.So he'll get his foot back into politics again,

which he'll be happy about, yeah.

'Cause he's, um... Bored.

A bit bored, yeah. A bit like a lost sheep at the moment.

I don't think he planned for this really.No.

That'd be good for him. Yeah.

Has Daisy gone already? She's up there.

Shut the door. Heating bill.

We're gonna go and make a bonfire.

Let's do it like that, look. Got it? Yeah.

That's it.

Yeah, that'll do. That's perfect. Yeah.

Mary, what's that you've got to help with the bonfire?

It's Daddy. He's very helpful.

He's a useful man. A working man.

What are they, flyers or something? I think it's just flyers.Yeah.

The ones he was posting through the letterbox, weren't it?

Didn't work, did it? No, obviously not.

Everybody voted for the wrong side. Yeah.

That's it.

Yeah, that's it. Will he stay there?

Do you think that looks like anyone at all?

If you put some glasses on it it'd look like Keir Starmer.

A bit of a nod to your dad?

Yeah, I suppose it's a bit of a...

Yeah, they're gonna love that, aren't they, that top hat thing.

I must get Mary. Yes, thank you. Come on.

Stand up straight, please. Now. Where's the fireworks?

Paddock.

Every year we have a bonfire. Veronica makes a Guy

and we do burn it. So yes.

I can't do this twice, you know, we've got to get it first time.

Catholic family burns Papist effigy annually. Shock, horror.

Nanny's made an excellent Guy.

She was being very modest about it earlier, but it's absolutely splendid.

There we go, Veronica. The Guy's going.

It's going up terrifically. Nice, innit?

Mmm. It's warm though, isn't it?

That is a terrific flame.

Ah! There goes the head.

Hope the hedge isn't gonna catch fire.

Of course they didn't burn Guy Fawkes anyway,

they hanged, drew and quartered him.

But he died whilst he was being hanged.

Shaun, where's our base? Here? Yeah.

Right, what's the plan of attack? Just light anything, innit.

There we go.

Light whichever one you want. Going for the big one first, are you?

Back in here again.

Sixtus's, this one.

That's the last of the Sixtus nukes.

God, that was quite a bang.

Peter's got keener and keener to be involved with fireworks.

I think boys and young men

like setting fire to things.

There is an inner pyromaniac in most boys.

We did a very good job there, Shaun, I thought.I thought we did.

The biggest buck for your bang came from Sixtus's choice of fireworks.

His plan was clearly to wake up the whole of West Harptree,

and he did a pretty good job. But he usually does that anyway,

without the fireworks, so...

So tomorrow we've got opening meet. You're going to London.

Yeah, I'm gonna go to London after dinner this evening. Oh, really?Yeah, yeah.

Because I need to be in Northumberland Avenue by 10:30.

They're announcing it about 11:00.

Then we'll see what happens, but my broad expectation is

I will come back after that. Mmm.

But there may be changes to plans if Robert wins, obviously.

Well, er, good luck tomorrow.

Either way we'll have a very good Conservative Party leader.

Okay.

The Conservative Party needs its spark being relit.

The spark went out.

These 48 hours, find out if Robert Jenrick's campaign is going with a bang or a whimper.

Wonderful. I completely forgot about marshmallows.

This weighs a ton. I'd forgotten how heavy it was.

Where are you off to this morning? Thomas, Sixtus and I have got

Mendip Farmers Hunt opening meet.

But Jacob is in London.

It's the results of the Conservative Party leadership contest.

Done. There we go. Right. Stomp, stomp, stomp.

Other foot, please.

Thank you.

It would mean a lot to Jacob

to become Conservative Party Chairman. It'd be a huge honour.

If Robert Jenrick doesn't win,

of course he would be disappointed.

I would love to be Party Chairman.

I've always thought it was an interesting job.

Um, indeed, once talking to Boris, before he won the leadership,

I said one of the jobs I'd love to do would be Party Chairman.

The odds are on Kemi winning.

But politics is very unpredictable.

We've had lots of upsets in recent years

when opinion polls turned out to be wrong.

It's the old saying attributed to nannies - expect the worst,

hope for the best and accept the result.

Rob's done unbelievably. He's done very well.

He's been brilliant. He's been very impressive. Outstanding. Incredible.

In half an hour, I will be discovering

whether I become the Party Chairman

and going to be enormously busy, or whether I shall be going to Somerset for dinner. Time will tell.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

Now, the time you've been waiting for - the result.

Kemi Badenoch, 53,806 votes.

And Robert Jenrick, 41,000...

Oh, my phone's ringing.

It's Jacob. Hello.

Oh, hello. How are you? I'm very well, thanks.

You're safely on board? You haven't fallen off? Um, so far, yes.

Good, good, good. Er, what news?

Um, Kemi won. And pretty much in line with the, um,

Conservative Home poll. So, as expected.

Kemi two thirds, Robert one third. Broadly, yes.

Well done, Robert, but it was not to be.No, that's right.

No, Kemi's done very well and she has the great advantage

or charisma, which is very powerful in a leader.Absolutely, yes.

Definitely not boring, which is brilliant, yeah.

No, we'll be lucky to have her.

Um, and um, there we go.

And I shall be zooming back to Somerset fairly shortly.

Brilliant. We will much look forward to seeing you later. Lots of love, darling.Thank you. Bye-bye. Bye.

Right. Okay. How did he sound?

Oh, absolutely fine. Jacob always sounds absolutely fine.

There we go.

Right, see you later.

Is this the pose? Or is this the pose?

Yeah, there you go. Your pose is giving

Daddy in the House of Commons.

Now you look like you're contemplating

your life choices.

No Party Chairman for Daddy, then.

But then he can come home more. Yeah, it means we get Daddy back.

Oh, yeah.

That's sad.

It's not me giving up on politics. Never say die.

We carry on. See what happens next.

It's certainly not the end of Jacob Rees-Mogg.

I wouldn't worry. He'll pop up, one way or another, somewhere, doing something.

To quote Churchill, "It is not the end,

it is not even the beginning of the end, but it may be the end of the beginning."

One has to keep going on. But one mustn't let

the temporary setbacks of life get one down.

As they say, the opera isn't over until the fat lady sings.

Perhaps I should, um, re-identify as a fat lady.