All language subtitles for M.t.R.S01E01.Election.Election.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-RAWR_track3_[eng]

Morning. How are you?

I can sort of see you, yeah.
Perfect.

It's slightly like
"Big Brother is watching you".

Shame on you! Shame on you!

You're a wanker.

I hope I don't get
a cease-and-desist
from Johnnie Boden.

"Could you please
not wear my clothes,

"you awful, Tory, right-wing,
fox-hunting Brexiteer?"

They sound the horn
and off they all go. Magnificent.

I'm well aware that there are risks
in reality TV.

...worse result
at a General Election

than John Major's defeat in 1997...

From the ashes of disaster
grow the roses of success.

Let's go to Disneyland Paris
in France.

Top priority is
to go to the battlefields.

Jacob Rees-Mogg!

Could always go for Strictly
or I'm A Celeb.

I feel in a terrible state
of undress.

How do you feel about
following in this long line
of family documentaries?

I think this will be
a rather different kettle of fish
from the Kardashians.

Why?Well, I have no idea,

'cause I've never watched them,
so I don't have a clue.

Please be gone.
Vote Conservative!

Who are you?

Erm... Who am I?

Erm... Erm...

I'm Jacob Rees-Mogg.
I'm the Member of Parliament
for North East Somerset.

I was elected in 2010.

Since then I've had some posts
in government

and I've been involved
in some political controversy.

Are you plotting?
Plot? I wouldn't know how.

Are you completely opposed
to abortion in all circumstances?
Erm, yes, I am.

Rape and incest?
Sexual violence?I'm afraid so.

Brexit is completely under control.
Is it, really?

You're a wanker.

You're often described
as one of the most divisive
politicians in the country.

Why do you think that is?

I'm afraid -
and this is probably a sin -

I quite enjoy winding people up.

The Leader of the House has been
spread across around three seats,

lying out,
as if that was something very boring

for him to listen to tonight.

I'm very lucky. I have a wife
and six glorious children

who are my pride and joy.

We got together in about July
of 2005.

Jacob would call it "courting",

and if I'm being honest,
I couldn't really think
about anything else

other than Jacob at that stage.

Obviously, I didn't tell him that.

I was taking her out for dinner
on her birthday,

and I'd tried to get,
from a bookshop,

Veronica Wedgwood's
excellent biography
of Thomas Wentworth,

and unfortunately
didn't have any copies.

Instead I went into Fortnum & Mason
and bought earrings,

and did you know ladies prefer
to be given a pair of earrings

to a book
on their distinguished ancestors?

I was absolutely bemused by this.

We had a very nice dinner there,

and afterwards Jacob said,
"You should marry me, you know."

"But I want lots of children,"
I said.

He said, "Great. So do I.
We can have 12. A cricket team."

Being me, I said,
"Minimum four, maximum six."

Morning.

Good morning.
I am going to go.

I'll unload the dishwasher later.

Shoes.

How would you
describe your dad?

Brilliant. Funny.

He's very un-funny.

Your breath stinks.
Brush your teeth.Shut it.

Our eldest three children,
Peter, Mary, and Thomas,

are all at boarding school...

...but our youngest three
are at day school in London.

He looks like he's mad.
Yeah, I am.

Anselm is our fourth child.
He's absolutely lovely.

I think very good-looking
as well, actually.

Who needs shoes?
What am I waiting for?

Nothing, really. Oh! Mum.

She does take a century to come.

Alfred is very much his own man.

Don't tell the others, but Alfred
may be our brightest child.

I'm going to turn the TV on,

but I don't know
what I'm going to do.

Sixtus, yes. Erm...

I'm going to do something.

He was really quite late to talk,

which apparently is normal
for the youngest of a large family,

because they cannot get
a word in edgeways.

I only know the F-word,

the B-word,

and the S-word.

There won't be a No.7?

No! No, thank you very much.

I think the world's got
quite enough Rees-Moggs already,
hasn't it?

We've been here before
with gossip and rumours

about whether a General Election
is about to be called

or when it's gonna be called.

Is it different today?

All the signs are pointing
to the fact

that the Prime Minister is preparing
to call an election later today.

Earlier today I spoke
with His Majesty the King

to request the dissolution
of Parliament.

The King has granted this request,

and we will have a General Election
on 4th July.

Oh, hello.General Election.
General Election?

General Election on his birthday.
You're joking?

So, the General Election's
been called,

probably rather earlier
than anticipated,

and the mood of the country
is definitely not pro-Conservative.

The mood is anti-Conservative,

possibly with some justification,
unfortunately.

Would I have made that decision?

No. I'd have waited longer,

because interest rates
can calm down,

we might get some people
back to Rwanda,

the economy is picking up a bit.

Rain at a wedding is a good omen,

so I hope that that's also true
of a political announcement.

I think his tailor will be
a little upset

to see his hard work being ruined
by the precipitation.

What are your hopes?

For me personally, I hope and expect
to maintain my seat,

but my seat is more at risk
than it has been since 2010.

My phone keeps buzzing,
but there we go.

What's your role for this election?

Give as much support as possible,

helping campaign whenever I can,

and, you know, keeping
the domestic show on the road.

Right. I must just pop back
to the Commons.

Unfortunately, it does look
as though the Conservatives
are on course

for a crushing defeat on 4th July.

Does Jacob have a fight
on his hands?

Jacob has got the fight
of his political life on his hands.

Absolutely, yes.

PASSER-Can't wait.
Thank you.

Where are we
driving to, Jacob?

I'm heading to Somerset
to start my election campaign.

The team should be here,
led by Margaret.

What does Margaret do?
Everything, absolutely everything.

I think if I wasn't here,

Jacob would manage perfectly well,

but he likes other people to do it.

What Jacob likes
is his life to run smoothly.

Can we get it over
if we all give it a push?

I don't know now.
No, it's all open now.Oh, I see.

During the campaign I will be out
every day knocking on doors,
delivering leaflets,

meeting as many people as I can

in the 25 working days
of the election,

plus weekends and Bank Holidays.

These are letters to people who are
pledged as definite Conservatives,

possible Conservatives,
or people who we think
may be Conservatives.

Give me seven.Seven.

Yup, forward.

Jacob's the leader,
the banner-waver, if you like,
of his team.

Hello. Can I give you a leaflet?
Jacob Rees-Mogg,
Conservative candidate.

Can I give you one of my cards?

The way he walks
and the way he dresses

singles him out
when he's in the constituency.

Oh, thank you. You are kind.
That's really nice of you.
Thank you.

People in the street know him.
What I might call White-Van Man,
they honk as they go past.

Come on, Jacob.Thank you.

But it's not all sweetness
and light, of course.

Very often you get a rude sign.

Down with the Tories!

But Jacob's answer to that is,
"Thank you!"

Nice to see you.
Being heckled at work,
how is that?

It's all the fun of politics.
I don't mind.

Luckily this is a quiet street,
but it's not ideal, is it?

Uh-oh.

The ball went through the gap.
Are you surprised?

Listen, it doesn't matt...
Listen.

Hello. Sorry to bother you,

but their ball's gone
into your area.

During
the General Election campaign,

Jacob and I will be living apart
during the week,

but I won't be doing everything
by myself.

Luckily, we have Veronica,
our full-time live-in nanny,

who will be very much helping me
with the children.

She's obviously been around...

I don't want to say "for ever",
that sounds a bit rude, but...

...from before Jacob was born.

When she was 21, she went to work
for the Rees-Moggs.

We saw Jacob the day he was born
in Queen Charlotte's Hospital.

There he was, like a little frog,
all yellow...

Jacob was not a placid baby
by any means.

If he squawked enough, though,
somebody went to his aid.

I hated going to school.
I loved being at home.

I had to go with him every day
for years, not just a few weeks.

He needed me to hold his hand.

What Veronica would do,
and still does with my troupe,

is say, "I'll have to go
and get the wooden spoon" -

but she never did get
the wooden spoon.

One of these days I might.

Are they a handful
at that age?You said it. Oh.

Oh, no. Oh, ah! There it goes again.

May I have that
and a chocolate eclair, please?

I'm a creature of habit.

This is what I have
almost every day:

a ham-and-cheese sandwich
or baguette,

and actually, what I really want
is the chocolate eclair.

They are excellent,

and, actually,
I think their cream buns
are better than other people's,

so... You know,
and they're not expensive.

- Hello. Will you be voting?
PASSER-- Yeah, I will be.

Excellent. Just make sure
that you don't vote for this chap.

Are you voting?PASSER-Yeah.
I hope it's against this man.

It will be, yeah.Do you know
which way you'll be voting?

Absolutely not voting for him.
Excellent. That's great.

Did you make this yourself?

I made the framing, yes.

MP Watch is part
of a national group.

We're not aligned
to any specific party.

Our local group is called
Mogg Watch.

What we do is
we're raising awareness

of the record of our MP

on lots of issues -
integrity, environmental -

and advising them to vote tactically
in order to get him out.

Those people who have
a superficial view of Rees-Mogg

see him as
something of a comic character,

therefore they think
he's unthreatening,

but almost everything he stands for
is bad.

He seems to despise people
who are poorer than...

Lots, almost all of us
are poorer than him.

I'm really hopeful that we will have
a change of government,

but here I'm really concerned
that it is going to be neck-and-neck

between Labour
and the Conservatives.

In Somerset we have a mansion.

It's not a mansion.

It's a sort of old country house.
It's a mansion.

Welcome to Gournay Court.
This is our home in Somerset,

the main family home,

and for the next few weeks,
during the election,

I'll be living here full-time.

Ah, Shaun, hello. How are you?
Afternoon.

Shaun has worked here
for quite a few years now.

He makes our cider,
he looks after the Bentley,

everything that needs to be done
in a busy household.

Hello, Chelsea. How are you?
I'm good. You?Very well, thank you.

I think it would be impossible
to run a house that size
with no help at all.

All the cleaning, all the laundry,

all the shopping, all the cooking,
and all the childcare.

I don't know if there is a wonder...
woman, I was about to say. Whoops.

...wonder person, maybe,
who could do this,

but that person is not me.

This is Helena and my quarters.

I've always liked large beds.
I think one sleeps more comfortably
in a wide bed.

I will confess
I sleep completely still.

I hardly move.
When I'm here on my own

and get out of bed, it doesn't look
as if anyone's slept in it.

I sleep as if I'm in the tomb.

My first election campaign,
we would all have been here,

because the children were infants,

but this election,
three children at boarding school,

three children at day school.

They need to be going to school.
That means they need to be
in London,

and so I'm here on my own.

Hello.Hello. How are you?

Sorry, Downton Abbey.
You're going to be overcome
by a tea-tray.

Now, it's always a big question,
does the milk or the tea go first?

Well, with you obviously the tea
goes in first.The tea, definitely,

otherwise you won't know
how much milk to put in.True.

With six children,

it sometimes seems that one of them
is almost always having a birthday,

but next up is Anselm.

It's his birthday on Saturday...
I know it is.

...but on his birthday we are all
going to Boris' birthday.

Oh, brilliant.
Boris, as in Johnson.Yeah.

Is that a big birthday?
Yes, it's his 60th.

So what will that involve
for Anselm?

Exactly.Will you arrange a treat
for him on another day?

Erm, good question.

I've done nothing about it,
but it's partly because of
the General Election.

That's thrown everything out.

If he wants to, I don't know,
go to Five Guys on the King's Road
for a burger...Exactly.

I might see what he wants to do
by asking him.Exactly.

How was your day at school?
My day at school was fine.

Anselm, love, it's your birthday
coming up.

Yes.Anything you particularly
fancy doing?

Having my own car.

I could take you somewhere
for a treat. Is there anything
in particular?

Maybe go-karting.
Go-karting?Mmm.Cool.

- I want to go go-karting.
- So do I.

Everyone wants to go go-karting.

Sounds fun.It's my birthday,
so I pick who I invite.

Labour's
election machine swung into action.

They are campaigning on a word
we will see and hear a lot: change.

We've been campaigning
across the country.

I'm yet to encounter
a single person who says,

"This is great."

There's a new poll
out today suggesting
a 300-seat Labour majority.

How on earth can you begin
to turn around the poll leads

that Labour currently has?

The only poll that matters is
the one on July 4th,
the General Election.

May I introduce myself,
as I'm out campaigning?

Hello, I'm Jacob Rees-Mogg,
the Conservative candidate.

Do you mind if I dart
across your lawn?

This year's going
to be difficult.

The polls are so anti-Conservative.

It is just unbelievable.

Oh, hello, sir.

But the confusing thing is
that on the doorstep
that's not what we're hearing.

I heard you make your own cider.

I do, yes.
Would you like to taste mine?

It's me, Jacob Rees-Mogg.
Nice to meet you.

Very nice to meet you.You too.
Thank you so much. Bye.

Lovely reception, actually.
It's been really friendly.

I've got some leaflets here that
you'll be very interested to see.
Ah, excellent.

Got one there from Dine,
the Liberal.

What have we got from Labour?

Dan Norris.

This is the one I like, this.

He says his third reason
for voting Labour

is to get rid of you.Oh, okay.

I'm here to launch my campaign.

I want to get Britain's future back.

Oh, yeah. Him again.

He's up against Dan Norris,

who was the Labour MP

from 1997 until 2010,
when Jacob took the seat off him.

Apparently Dan Norris is getting
lots of support

and plastering it
all over social media.

He's apparently going large
on "stop Rees-Mogg".

Talk about a revenge match.

Okay, let's do it.

Have you got the poo bags?
Yes.

She's just had a poo, actually.
I know, but she does that
more than once.

Fed up with the election yet?

Dan Norris, I would say,
was quite bumptious, really,

a bit Jack the lad,
cock of the walk, sort of thing.

Very pleased with himself.

Oh, how are you? Say hello.
How you doing?

I've gotta get a picture
of you.Take a picture of Angel.

Angel's more famous.

I think it's going okay, yeah.

There's clearly a contest here,
and I'm quietly confident,

but it all depends
if the polls are getting it right.

Are you gonna make me sad or happy?

Happy.Thank you very much.
Very kind of you. Thank you.

Grandfather was a miner,
and his six brothers.

My family are mining stock too.

Everyone is sick
of the Conservatives,

but most people just want
to get rid of Rees-Mogg.

After 14 years,
everybody's worked out
what he stands for.

I think he's a really dangerous,
very far-right-wing politician.

So, Shaun,
what's it like here at the weekends?

Well, you've got the kids...

And... depending on
if it's been cold or not,

I got fires to do,

shoes to do,

fill the cars up, set the table.

It's surprising how the day goes by,

when it don't sound much,
by the time you've done this
and done that.

What's it like
being a Rees-Mogg?

I think - some really good things.

Sometimes you meet
a lot of cool people,

like Boris and Carrie,
and they're so fun.

But when I was little,

I used to get a little bit offended
about things.

When it was the height of Brexit,
at school you'd hear things like,

"My mummy says
that your daddy hates foreigners,"

and I think when I was very little
that did upset me a little bit.

Could you do number 17
for me, please?

Well done.My hand!
Don't lose your hand.

There we go.

I very much hope
that Jacob retains the seat,

but... it ain't looking good.

He absolutely has the fight
of his political life on his hands,

and we're all very committed
to trying to help him win it.

So, I've got one of my supporters.
Best Father's Day present, I think.

Here to come and deliver leaflets.

I mean, that's above and beyond
the call of duty, isn't it?

What do you think an MP does?

Campaigns.Ugh, politics.

What happens at a General Election?

Politicians stop lying for a bit,
which is a great start.

Boring parties.

Not the parties
where you drink Champagne
and have a lot of fun.

Hope I'm gonna be able
to count on your support.

I don't think it's gone well, Jacob.

I imagine that you guys
are going to lose come 4th July,

because you've taken this lurch
to the right

and Keir Starmer's come in
and taken the centre ground.

I'd have liked us to lurch
to the right,

but I don't think we have.
I wish we had!

Nice to meet you. Thank you.

Is there any napkins actually
in there?Yes. Napkin there.

They go through napkins so fast
they're constantly ironed.

Do you iron
Jacob's boxers as well?Yes.

He does like his boxers
being ironed.Everything but socks.

Has he got any, like, active wear?

Could you see him in joggers?
Oh, I don't think so.

I did ask him, when I first started,
if he owned lounge pants.

I think he was horrified
for me to even ask.

I had ripped jeans and he went,
"Do I not pay you enough?

"You've got holes in your clothes."
"It's the style."

You should have said "no".
Then you might have got a pay rise.

I do like the smell of that, though,
the starch.

What does it actually do?
Makes it go crispier, innit?

Yeah.He likes it quite stiff,
doesn't he, Jacob?

Like, some of it.Yeah.

Oh, look at you. Very posh.

Saturday evening. Black-tie night.

Kids get dressed up and we'll get
into the fun of things.

Smoking jacket
and all that sort of stuff.

He don't like posh food, mind.

Not a fan of vegetables or onions
or anything like that.

He likes his puds,

and he will also set in the jelly
and ice-cream along with the kids.

Oh, we're having something
rather nice.We are, yes.Splendid.

What's for the second course?

Gammon.Anselm's favourite.

Except lasagne,
but Daddy doesn't like lasagne.
Oh, no. No.

I'm probably a fussier eater
than any of my children.

'Cause you were the baby of four
for nearly ten years.Yes.

But it's yellow food.Bananas.
I can see the thinking there.

What's wrong with bananas?

You know what's wrong.
They are nasty, slimy things.

Would you consider
you and your family to be posh?

Erm, we have
quite posh accents, so...

yeah, if we're being real,
we're quite posh, yeah.

Sometimes, just for fun,
I'll teach my dad slang,

and he's getting pretty good.

You're a waste-man, aren't you?
Or are you a dustman?

No, a waste-man is, like...
That's a bad thing.

"My old man's a dustman.
He wears a dustman's cap."

A waste-man is not, like...
He's not a dustman?No.

Does he collect rubbish?
He IS rubbish.

So a waste-man isn't rizz.

Good afternoon, everybody.
Guess who's back.

I'm coming back as leader
of Reform UK.

Nationally,
the high-profile Brexiteer

has put the Tories in a tail-spin

by targeting disaffected voters
on the right of the party.

Our Nige very kindly putting
Reform candidates everywhere.

I imagine that will have...
quite an interesting, erm, impact

on the election result,
mainly for the Conservatives.

Hello, sir. Sorry to disturb you.

I'm Jacob Rees-Mogg,
the Conservative candidate
for the election.

Just calling 'round to ask if I may
count on your support on 4th July.

The problem is, Jacob,

there are too many people
in the country.
We've got to deal with immigration.

It'll be the first time
we won't have voted Conservative.

If you're thinking of Reform...

I know you're going to tell me
it's a vote for Labour.

Hope I may count on your support.
Not this year.

Not this year?We don't yet know
who the Reform candidate is.

If you could merge...Well, I'm keen
on working with them.

It's interesting. I mean,
that's two people in this street,

former Conservatives,
going for Reform,

so they clearly are getting some...
some momentum.

We start with breaking news.

In the last few minutes,
the Prime Minister has apologised

for leaving a D-Day ceremony
with other world leaders
in Normandy early.

I think it's absolutely disgusting.
Disgraceful.

I apologise unreservedly

and I just hope veterans and others
can forgive me.

I feel that the D-Day fiasco
was kind of defining.

It was one of those moments
where people thought,

"This guy just can't do the job."

Sixtus, old bean, we need
to start getting you in the car.

I've been off this morning,
as you might expect,
to see my campaign team,

but we're actually going
off to Boris' 60th birthday party.

The troops are getting ready.
Anselm's ready.

It's Anselm's birthday today.
Anselm is all of 12.

Boys, your jackets are here.

I'm driving Boss-Man and family
to Oxford

to see the...
I call him the Ex-President.

The er... ex-Prime Minister.

All right, we need to go.
Can we get in the car, please?

The Conservative party possibly
haven't done fantastic

in recent times.

Boris had Partygate,

but I think he managed lockdown
really well. He just had a slip-up.

Boris' present.

Sun hat.

Not many children
will spend their 12th birthday

at the former Prime Minister's
60th birthday party, no, indeed.

So, are we invited?
We can't take cameras.

As you know, Boris is very shy.
He doesn't like the limelight,

and I didn't feel it was right
to ask him and Carrie

for the cameras to intrude.

This is called the four-poster,
which is made up for guests.

Have they had
anyone like Boris staying here?

Not since I've been here, no.

Would like to meet him, actually.

I was petrified to meet Jacob
for the first time.

I passed him on the stairs...

...and, yeah, went a bit rosy-faced,
I think.

He's nicer than what I thought
he would be.

Am I allowed to say that?

Helena likes them to be facing
a certain way, and...

...plumped.
Then this is the top white sheet.

Two blankets during the winter,

and then one will come off
in the next couple of weeks.

This is very different to the way
I make my beds at home.

I've got duvets.

We strip the beds and re-make them.

There's nine in total,
so it does take all day.

So, where are we, Shaun?

I'm somewhere in Oxford.

Just dropped the boss, wife,
and kids off.

Found this little lay-by
not too far away.

And I'll just wait now for, erm...

...him to give me a call or a text
in a couple of hours' time.

I've got my lunch.

I've got my phone, so I can watch
a bit of football on it, as well.

I drove, I suppose,
because it's quite a long drive.

It's a four-hour drive or so.

And he can have a little glass
of wine or something if he likes.

Hello.

Yeah, on my way.
I'm only a couple of minutes away.

Ah-ha. I see somebody
laden with presents.

At last Anselm is gonna have
some birthday presents.

Ooh, hello.Oh, a watch.

It lights up.A boogie watch.

With the younger ones,
how worried are you
about spoiling them too much?

We do try not to spoil them.

Erm, I guess we're all
enormously, you know, lucky

and privileged, for example,
to be living in a house like this.

A book.The Dark Is Rising.
The Dark Is Rising.

I've made a slight mistake.
I thought that was the first
of the series.

It's the second, so I may hastily
have to buy you the first one.

Were any of you two
particularly spoilt as children?

Oh, me, completely, yes.
I was completely indulged,

by Nanny and by everybody.
I mean, I was the youngest.

I'm glad to say I've been indulged
the rest of my life by my kind wife,

so, you know,
I'm not going to complain
about the good fortune I've had.

Baby Anselm is 12.

Hooray!

What was it like
sharing your birthday
with the former Prime Minister?

It was really fun. Boris is so nice.
He's very funny.

When I was leaving,
they sang Happy Birthday,
which was very kind.

It was very nice of them.

How was Boris' birthday?
It was great fun.

Boris was a great man.
He made an excellent speech,

and I have no doubt that if he were
still leader, we would not be...

at risk of potentially coming third
in a General Election.

Was there a collective mood,
would you say, of despondency?

No, no, no. Conservative politicians
are never despondent.

How important is
the Catholic faith in your family?

The Catholic Church is
very important to the family.

Faith is fundamentally important.

I'm very lucky
to have my own chapel.

We just had the, sort of,
spare space...

...so it seemed
that I dared have a chapel.

I come in and say my prayers
when I'm in Somerset.

I really am very lucky,

particularly, that many priests are
willing to come and say Mass here,

so we have Mass said
really quite regularly.

Oops.

Nothing like being knocked out
by the incense.

Knocked "incense-sible",
you might say.

Alan, hello.

Thank you so much for coming.

Pleasure.Much appreciated.
And this is Deacon.

Hello. Hello, Deacon.

Shall I take you into the chapel
straight away?Yes.

And then we'll have a look.

How wonderful.
It's a really splendid chapel,

certainly a lot more splendid
than I was expecting.Oh, excellent.

I have got a... a reliquary.

Actually, in the monstrance, I have
what I think is my best relic.

This is from the hair shirt
of the blessed Thomas More.Ah.

This is a bit of thorn
from the crown of thorns.Lovely.

And over here is a small relic
of St Peter the Apostle.

There we are.
I knew I had one somewhere.

I've been interested in them
as long as I've known about them.

You're not strictly meant
to buy them, because it's simony,

but you can buy the containers,
but not the relics.

The relics belong
to the Church.Yes.

Ring the bell three times, please.

I am stunningly lucky

to be able to do this
not just for me

but for the faith of my children.

Would you have liked
a career in the Church?

I never had a vocation. I think
a vocation is a huge blessing.

And though I recognise
the teaching of the Church

as Truth, with a capital T,

I can't say I always live up to it.

"Domine, non sum dignus."

What does that mean?
"Lord, I am not worthy."

My mother, Lady Rees-Mogg,
lives very near us in Somerset

and is still going strong
in her middle eighties.

LADY REES-
Have you read the papers today?

Most of them, yes.
Not very encouraging polls.

It's rather sweet, I thought,
that Rishi spoke about his religion.

I thought that was rather good.
Yes. Yes.

Well, it's clearly important to him.
Yeah, it is, obviously.

They also say Keir...Sir Keir?
...is an atheist,
which I didn't know.

It was What's-his-name who said
"We don't do God".

Alistair Campbell, yeah, yeah.

Hello. Erm, shall we go through
to lunch?

Sixtus Dominic Boniface Christopher,

are you going to come out
from your hideaway?

Is that your handbag? Ah.
There you go.

Pope Pius X, in 1910, decreed

that children should take
their first Communion at seven.

That's the age when a child knows
the difference from right to wrong

and can be held responsible
for their sin.

And so, to prepare them
for their Holy Communion,

we have the catechism
at Sunday lunch.

Sixtus, your favourite thing.

What is the sacrament
of the Eucharist?

All those children today,
what were they having?

Poo-poo.
No, don't be silly.

What were they having?I don't know.

Yes, you do. Come on.
I'm sorry.No, no.

You're going to have to do this
to have your first Communion.

So, what were they having today?
Their first...

Blood of Christ.That's right.

The fourth Commandment,
"Honour thy mother and thy father",

requires parents
to educate their children
in the Catholic faith.

It is a responsibility
I take seriously,

though, it has to be said,

the children are sometimes
less enthusiastic than I might like.

When are the bread and wine changed
into the body and blood of Christ?

When the priest feels like it.

You mean at the moment
of consecration?

I do not even know what that means.

That's cannibalism.
Is it cannibalism?

Yes, because
you're eating someone's body.

That's what
the ancient Romans thought.

I'm going out
to get some graffiti.

Some dimwit thought they'd write
some rubbish on the sign

outside Jacob's mum's house.

That's the last thing she wants
to see, innit, from some delinquent?

They can spell that.

I had my, erm, poster defaced.

What does it say now?
It's got rather vulgar words on it.

They must have had to clamber up.
Either they were tall or...

There's an angry socialist giant -
he'll be very easy to spot -

who has a very vulgar knowledge
of language.

That was a waste of time,
putting that on, weren't it?

What should they
have used, Shaun?

I don't know. Permanent marker,
I'd have got that off easy.

Paint?Paint?
No, I'd have got that off as well.

As I say, it's a waste of time
putting stuff on there.

Best thing to have done
is took it down and smashed it up.

Saves us all a problem.

Live from London, this is BBC News.

Labour has called
for an investigation

into what it calls a growing scandal
over alleged betting

from people linked
to the Conservative party
and Downing Street.

Some people went into a room
in No.10 Downing Street,

were told the date of the election.

It seems that they then went
and placed a bet on that,

knowing the outcome.
That is quite outrageous.

Tory betting scandal,
has it made you think
any different of them?

Yes. I have always voted Tory.
I'm not voting for them this year.

I think it just proves again
that they're corrupt.

Put them in the stocks
and we'll throw cabbages at them.

How are you feeling

about the potential outcome
of this election?

Yes, well, I'm...
certainly not feeling optimistic

about the Conservatives'
prospects...

...erm, at all.

Erm, moving on to Jacob,

obviously we very much hope
that Jacob can keep the seat.

I mean, "hopeful" would be accurate.

"Optimistic"
would be seriously pushing it.

You look at the newspapers...
Yeah. Mostly the sport, but...

...so you probably know
that the Conservatives
are not on course to win.

Didn't want this to be
a horrible surprise

on the morning of Friday 5th, so...

The Conservatives,
we seem to have gone
from tragedy to farce, basically.

I'm actually much more concerned

with what's going to happen
in North East Somerset and Hanham...

...because Daddy's majority...
...was, like, 16,000?

And in normal times,

a Conservative majority
of sixteen thousand and something,
you're laughing,

but these are not normal times.

Almost all the polls show
a Labour gain from Conservative.

So...

Other careers are available.

I've never, ever even heard
of anyone losing their job,

let alone someone in our family
doing it.

Well, at least
we don't lose our house,

so we're lucky on that front,

but let's hope it's not
a massive humiliation.
We'll have to take it on the chin.

We're just off
to the discussion on the election.

Dan Norris and I will be the ones
who are being interviewed tonight.

The first hustings I took part in
at the 2010 election,

it was a very different tone.

So, at that point we were asked

if we could say something nice
about the other candidates,

and Dan said, "No, I can't think of
anything nice to say about him,"

which was very funny,

and made for a certain atmosphere
in the hustings.

Stand by.Well, tonight
on a muggy summer's evening,

it's the venue for our debate.

We'll be chatting with one of
the most controversial characters
in politics, Sir Jacob Rees-Mogg,

and Mayor for the West of England
Dan Norris,

who lost this seat to him.

I think that's understating it,
"one of the most
controversial characters".

I'm hardly controversial at all.

Is there anything
particularly difficult
I could ask you tonight...

...that would throw you?

I was hoping it was going to be
one of those 1950s-style interviews.

What, like you do on GB News?

Absolutely, yes. Ask me why
they're doing such a wonderful job.

The election campaign
for the Conservatives,

would you agree that it's gone
from bad to worse,

and now the betting allegations

are just, sort of,
the icing on the cake?

Look, the betting allegations
are appalling,

but this is one or two people
who have behaved badly.

Do you agree, Dan Norris?
What I'd simply say is

I think integrity and honesty
has become the main issue now
for the electorate.

On top of Partygate,
the PPE spending
that is dubious as well...

A whole range of things made people
question the Tory government.

The betting thing
is just unbelievable.

Do you find it
embarrassing for your campaign?

It's always unfortunate when people
do things that they shouldn't.

It's one of those things
that is difficult about politics

that things over which
you have no control go wrong.

This is, in my view,
the most important General Election
in a generation.

I think people have lost
a lot of faith in politics.

I think the Conservatives
are really culpable in that.

They've really undermined
people's confidence.

There's new surprises
almost every day,

so who knows
what's going to happen tomorrow,

what banana skins there might be
to slip on?

I feel in a terrible state
of undress.

Please vote Conservative today.

The Tory party could be heading
to extinction.

Eleven Cabinet ministers are facing
losing their seat.

Vote Conservative!

That's a pretty clear margin.

Ladies and gentlemen,
as always with British politics,

prepare for chaos.