Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

kids: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

kids: Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

[flute plays]

[waves crashing]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [grunts]

All right, Karen.

I'm off to go shopping.

[whistling]

Oh!

- Uh...ew!

What is that?

- [groaning]

Ahh!

Ahh!

[groans]

[grumbling]

Huh? - Hey, over here.

[jazzy music]

- So, uh, you got the goods?

- Of course.

I always deliver.

- Hee-hee.

Eee!

- Pleasure doing business with you.

- Likewise, my shady friend.

So same time next--

[groans]

[accordion music]

[groans]

I'm here for the formula.

Hand it over, and nobody gets--

[groans]

- Ew.

I seem to have stepped in some revolting substance.

No matter.

- Ouch.

Ouch.

[groaning]

Honey, I'm home.

- Tough day at work, dear?

- Yes.

Everybody stepped on me again.

- Oh.

Well, I know what'll cheer up my little man.

Let's dance those blues away.

- Oh, boy!

[air horn blares]

- Oh, yeah.

Go, Sheldon.

Ha-ha!

- You were right, Karen, I feel better already.

I've got boogie fever!

[groans]

- We haven't danced like this since our wedding night.

- [laughs] Whoo!

- [groans]

- [vocalizing]

- Plankton?

Oh, no.

Pardon me. Pardon me.

Plankton?

Plankton, are you there, sweetie?

Excuse me.

- Oh.

- Plankton?

[grunts] There you are.

At least part of you.

- That's it!

I'm not getting stepped on anymore.

Take me to my lab.

- Sure.

But let's find the rest of you first.

- [grunting]

[cackles]

[bell dings]

[grunts] Foot Deterrent, Version 1.1, commence test.

[groans]

Not quite there.

- Foot Deterrent, laser thingy.

[sighs] Might as well get this over with.

[laser pings]

[machine hisses]

What?

Yes.

I'm invincible!

Ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh.

Ah!

[laser blasts]

Ow.

- [whistling]

- [grunts]

All right, time for a field test

in T-minus 3, 2, 1.

- Huh? [laser blasts]

- Hmm.

- [cackling]

- My foot!

Ouch. Ouch.

Ouch. - [cackles]

Take that, you high-stepping ham!

Huh?

- [whistling]

- Oh, boy.

Time to stop those big metal stompers.

- [humming]

Hmm?

[grunting] Hwah!

Hee-yah!

[laser blasts]

- Plankton, what in tarnation are you doing?

You almost barbecued my dang paw.

- Duh.

That was the point.

But hey, what was that "hiyah" stuff you just did?

- Well, that was just good, old-fashioned self-defense.

You know, karate.

Looks like you could use a little self-defense too.

Why don't you swing by my dome so I can show you some moves?

- Anything to stop the stomping.

Hmm?

- Huh?

[sighs]

[mystical music]

- All right, Plankton, come on out.

- Mm.

I make this gi look good.

- Now bow to your sensei.

- Plankton bows to no one.

- Huh? - Hiyah.

- [grunts]

- Good.

Now we may begin.

We must first gauge your current level of self-defense.

Think fast!

- Think what?

Ouch!

Now I know why they call it a sneaker.

- Maybe something a little gentler.

- [grunting] Whoa!

I can't flip like you.

Only flop.

- OK.

How 'bout these?

[grunting]

- Ouch!

- Huh.

Seems like you lack the fundamentals.

What you need is some basic training.

- [grunts] Okey-dokey, furry lady.

[funky music]

Hyah, hyah, hyah, hyah, hyah!

Ow.

♪ ♪

[grunts] Ah!

[grunts] Ha-ha!

Augh!

Heh-heh-heh.

Hiyah!

Hee-hee.

[glass squeaking]

- [humming]

- [humming]

[mystical music]

- Now that you've mastered the basics,

I reckon you're ready to spar with a real partner.

- Hi, Plankton!

- SpongeBob?

- Don't you worry.

I'll go easy on ya.

Foam sparring boots.

- I can't promise I'll do the same.

- Bow to your opponents.

- [grunting]

- Now fight!

- Wah!

- Hmm? - Yah!

- Ah!

[panting]

[groans]

- That was pretty good, Plankton.

But remember to keep your guard up.

- It's no use.

I'm just too small to avoid being stepped on.

- Hmm.

But in karate, your greatest weakness may also

be your greatest strength.

- Yeah.

But in "rea-li-tay," that doesn't make any sense!

- Allow me to demonstrate.

SpongeBob, give me the old roundhouse.

- Wah!

- Your opponent's momentum can be used--

- Huh?

[groans]

- --against them, no matter your size.

You OK, SpongeBob?

- I would bow to you If I could.

Ouch.

- That was incredible!

Let me try.

- Visualize the technique.

Grab, twist, and let gravity do the rest.

- Shut up.

You're distracting me.

[mystical music]

[inhales and exhales]

- Hwah!

[funky music]

- Hiyah! - Ugh!

- I did it!

In your face, feet!

[gong resounds]

- Congratulations, Plankton.

But remember, this technique is to be used

strictly for self-defense.

- Oh, of course, Sensei Sandy.

Uh, wink.

Buh-bye!

[laughs]

- Uh, Sandy, could you give me a ride to the hospital?

- Whoops!

Oh, sure, SpongeBob. Heh-heh.

- All right, who's looking to rumble?

Huh? You!

- [slurping]

Heh-heh.

Hiyah!

- [groaning]

What unexplained force of nature?

Ah!

- I feel so powerful!

[elephant trumpeting]

And I can't help but use that power for evil!

[cackling]

Oh, Krabsy, hyah, I'm home!

- [humming]

Oh!

- Whoa, whoa! Oh!

- Whoa!

- [cackles] No one can stop me now.

That secret formula will be mine!

- Hmm. - Hiyah!

- Whoa, whoa! Ugh!

- [cackles]

- Plankton?

- No, not Plankton.

[all shouting]

[alarm blaring]

- I made it.

Huh?

Security ninjas?

Heh. Krabs thinks of everything.

Bring it on!

[funky music]

♪ ♪

- Whah!

- [grunting]

♪ ♪

[grunting]

♪ ♪

[grumbles]

[grunting]

Knock, knock.

- [grumbles] Plankton!

How did you get past me security ninjas?

- With the art of karate.

Now that I can defend myself, your feet are all doomed!

- Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

- Oh, you won't be laughing once I use my ultimate

foot-stomping finisher!

[accordion music]

- Bad news for you, Plankton.

I don't have any feet.

- You what?

[foghorn blaring]

Just my luck, I guess.

[groans]

- Hee-hee!

The old familiar sting of "de-feet," aye?

[laughs]

- [sighs]

[upbeat music]

- [sighs]

Six to eight weeks before I can attack the Krusty Krab again.

Oh, well.

At least I'm not in traction anymore.

Augh!

- Oh, boy!

Only six to eight weeks before I can work

at the Krusty Krab again!

- Ouch!

Karate is a pain in the-- ouch!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [laughing]

♪ ♪

- Excuse me, Miss.

Is this seat taken?

- It is now, Sailor.

Mm-hmm.

- [grunts]

[laughter]

Mm--

- Hmm?

[bell rings]

- Three bells?

It's lunchtime!

Better get some food!

- Oh, Fondue Man!

- Huh?

Hey, hey, hey.

- Ooh.

Oh.

[laughs]

- Ooh.

Ah.

- [humming]

Hmm?

Mm.

Heh-heh-heh-heh.

[accordion music]

- [chuckles]

- Mwah.

Hmm.

Mm?

Hmm.

A 5 cent tip?

Thanks a lot, Mister.

Hmph!

[wheels squeaking]

- Ah, fondue.

The perfect food for a beach date.

- Oh.

Oh.

- Uh, OK. OK.

- Oh. - OK.

No. Oh--

- Oh. Ooh.

[gulps]

- Um.

- Oh.

[laughs]

- Mmm-mmm.

- ♪ Na-na-na-na-na ♪

[teeth grinding]

- ♪ Na-na-na ♪

- [gulps]

♪ ♪

[glasses clink]

[both gulping]

[seagulls squawking]

- [groans] Whoo-hoo!

Now, that was a meal.

What do you say to a romantic dip in the goo, my sweet?

- Well, I suppose I could wash off some of this cheese.

[laughter]

- Whoo-hoo! Oh!

- Oh! Oh.

- Huh?

Ah!

- [yells]

- [laughs] Oh!

- [yelling]

- Eugene!

- The undertow's got me!

Whoa!

- Help!

- Huh?

Rump in a riptide!

[grunts]

[whistle blows]

[grunts]

[whirring]

[water splashing]

I gotcha, bro.

[grunting]

- [groaning]

- [grunting]

- [retches, mumbles]

- Oh.

- Yay!

- Thank you, Larry.

- Ooh. - Mwah!

- Hmm. - Thank you!

Thank you! Thank you!

- [retches]

- Eugene, don't try to talk.

I'd better take you home.

Bye, Larry.

Thanks again.

- Huh?

- Larry's always ready to step in.

[bell dings]

- [laughs]

- [yowling]

- I'm telling you, boy-o, that kiss, that wave--

I'm losing me sweet Puff to a shiny-shelled boy toy!

- Well, maybe your eyes were confused.

[laughs]

- No.

She loved Larry's muscles.

She's sick of this old sack of fondue.

- Look, Mr. K., I'm sure Mrs. Puff

loves you for who you are, not how many muscles you have.

- Look.

Look, boy.

This farmer's tan, this flabby shell, so undefined.

See the realities of middle age on an all-fondue diet!

Look away! - Ah!

- No crab should look like this!

[bouncy music]

There's only one option, boy-o.

I gotta get in shape before me next date.

And you're gonna help!

- [squealing]

That crustaceous hunk doesn't know who I am or why I'm

here, boy-o.

[both grunting]

- Go, go, go!

Yeah, yeah!

Unh, unh, unh!

Go, go, go, go!

Sweat!

- This was a mistake.

Abandoned gym!

- You can do this, Mr. Krabs.

Do it for Mrs. Puff.

[grunts] Huh?

- Oh, you're right.

I'll do it for Puff.

Oh!

- Welcome to my temple of the bods.

- Save the sales pitch. I got this.

[grunting]

[both groans]

- You know, that's actually for--

- Whoops. Heh-heh.

Finished me reps.

Hmm.

OK.

[grunting]

- I can show you how to-- - OK.

Got me heart rate up. Ya-ho.

- Uh, Mr. Krabs?

- Never heard of him.

[grunting]

[mumbling]

- Must be shy about his first day.

If you want to work out, I'd be happy to help train you.

- [grunting]

Heh, heh.

Yeah, maybe I could use a few pointers.

- Let's just try lifting some free weights.

- Look, Larry, I'm doing it!

[grunting]

Wah!

- [groans] Sponge--

- [grunts] - Huh?

Hey! - [grunting]

[laughs]

- No stealing the free weights, bro.

- Well, are they free or not?

[grunts]

- [groans]

I've never met anyone as workout-averse as you.

I just don't know how to motivate you.

- Ooh.

I know how to motivate him.

♪ ♪

Huh? Huh?

- Ooh.

Money, money, money, money, money, money.

[grunts] Money!

Money! Money!

Money! - Whoa.

Nice trick, little dude.

- That's nothing.

You should see how I get him to take his pills.

- [panting]

[grunting]

[cash register dings]

Whoo-hoo!

[grunting]

[cash register dinging]

[grunting]

[laughs]

Yeah!

[dramatic music]

- Whew.

That was one heck of a workout.

Time to see what 168 straight hours of exercise

does to the body.

- Ahh.

[gasps]

- [grunts]

- [whistling]

- Hey!

What's the deal, Larry?

Why ain't I ripped?

- Fitness is a lifelong journey, bro.

Can't change your physique in a week.

- [groans]

- [grunts] Ah.

Mm-hmm.

See you bros in the sauna.

- Hmm?

[groans]

No one can change their physique, eh?

Hee-hee-hee-hee.

[laid back music]

- [snoring]

[rock music]

Huh?

[engine revving]

- Ha-ha.

[laughs]

[grunts] Ha!

- Ooh? Ahh.

Oh.

- [grunts]

- [laughs]

♪ ♪

- Hey there, ma'am.

Is this beach taken?

- Oh, my.

Eugene, you're so well-defined.

Eugene?

[together] Yeah! Ha-ha! Yeah!

- Take a look.

These are called gains, people.

Yeah.

[grunting]

- Hmm.

- [grunting]

- Whoa!

- [grunting]

- Ah!

[grunts]

Nice pecs, Mr. Krabs.

- We love you!

- Wow. We love you.

- Strongest crab in the world!

I fear no man!

- [scoffs]

- Krabs!

[whistle blows]

[all gasp] - Larry?

[screams]

- I'm going to crack you right out of my shell, bro.

- Whoa!

Mr. Krabs, looking good!

- [panting]

- Was that Larry?

He must have stopped working out for a few minutes.

- Ahh!

[both grunting]

- [panting]

Fondue?

At the beach?

Whoa!

[groans] Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Whoa!

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

[panting]

- Larry's in trouble.

- Someone save him!

- Who will lifeguard the lifeguards?

- [whimpers] Huh?

Fondue Man!

- Ah! - Yeah!

Yeah!

[panting]

[grunting]

Uh, OK.

- Ouch!

Whoa!

- [groaning]

- Ahh!

[gasping] Ohh.

[all cheering]

- Oh, yeah!

Ha-ha.

That's right, saving the day over here.

What do you think of me now, Puffykins?

Your old Krabsy is quite the hero.

Hiyah!

- Oh, puh-lease.

I'm not into muscle-bound, self-centered jerks.

- Heh-heh.

What's that?

- I like my boys a little soft around the edges.

- Oh.

- Mwah.

- Ah-ha-ha-ha.

Hmm.

- That's why Larry and I have a beach date tomorrow.

[laughs]

- Ha-ha!

Larry loves beach dates.

- Beach date?

Wait!

I was kidding!

The muscles were just a ruse.

Puffy!

[grunting]

[all murmuring]

- [grunts] See!

Ha-ha. Oh.

Ah!

Puffykins, I'm soft.

- [sobbing]