Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

kids: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

kids: Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

[flute plays]

[waves crashing]

[upbeat comical music]

♪ ♪

[clams cooing]

[light music]

♪ ♪

- Hello, me loving paying--

customers?

Where is everybody?

[ticking] Hmm. Lunchtime.

"Work day."

[rhythmically] Money, money, money.

Still have a pulse. [calliope music plays]

Calliope music?

I'm in a horror movie!

Wait a minute.

What?

Oh, no!

The circus?

No wonder there aren't any customers.

- Boo. - [screams]

- Hello again, Krabs.

- Ringmaster Mudcrab?

This is outrageous.

You can't park your flea circus on my property.

- Since my cousin is the mayor,

this city permit says I can. - [shouts]

[muttering]

[growling angrily]

- Since you won't be busy,

here's a free ticket to the circus

so you can see where all your money went.

Don't forget to try our cotton candy.

Your customers are gobbling it up like it was Krabby Patties.

[laughs] - [grumbles]

- Oh, boy, it's the circus!

Huh?

Hmm.

- Yes, every year that Ringmaster Mudcrab

rolls into town and steals me customers.

But this year he's parked his shabby tent show

right on me property.

- Hey, let's get a Krabby Patty.

- No, let's go to the circus instead.

[tires squealing]

- [growling angrily]

- well, since there's no work, I'll be going.

- To the circus.

- To the circus?

- To the circus!

- To destroy it. [laughs evilly]

- To destroy it? - To destroy it!

[record scratches]

To destroy it? - No, no, boy-o, not destroy.

I said "enjoy."

We're going to enjoy the circus.

- Oh. [object whistling]

- Yay! We're going to the circus!

- And it'll be fun for all ages.

[laughs wickedly]

[people screaming happily]

[calliope music playing]

- We've got another sold-out show today, troupe.

So let's give them a spectacle they'll never forget.

- Yeah, they'll never forget it, all right.

- Krabs, is that you?

- That's right. It's Krabs.

And me own crew of incompetent misfits

will make such a mockery of your circus

that you'll be drummed out of Bikini Bottom forever.

- Open up! Open up, I say!

- Hey, Mr. Krabs, I don't get it.

Why are we dressed like this?

- Uh, because everyone in the circus is sick today,

and my friend the ringmaster asked us to take over the show.

So I'll be...

the new ringmaster!

both: Yay!

- Where's Squidward?

- Do I have to do this?

- You look great.

The pathos is already moving me to tears.

- Um...

- Oh, show's starting. Places, everyone.

[cheers and applause]

[upbeat music playing]

♪ ♪

[spits] Dummies and numbskulls,

spoiled brats of all ages,

welcome to the crummiest show on Earth.

- Dummies? Numbskulls? How rude!

- [chuckles] He must be one of those insult ringmasters.

- Well, in that case, he's funny.

[laughter]

- That's weird. They actually enjoyed that.

Well, wait till they see this first act.

They're gonna hate it.

I call your attention to the high wire above me.

Introducing Sponge-O the Incompetent.

- [munching, spits]

- Hey, that's SpongeBob!

all: Hi, SpongeBob!

- Oh, hey, kids.

[grunting] Whoa! [crowd oohs]

- Yes, folks, isn't he appalling?

Leave now for a full refund.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

- Fall into the net already.

Urchins should do it. [grunts]

[urchins clamor] - Ah!

Oh, no. No, no, no. Ow, ow, ow, ow!

Ow, ow!

I'm out. [screams]

- [chuckles evilly, grunts]

[crowd cheering]

- Whoo-hoo-hoo! [all cheer]

urchins: Thank you, thank you.

- Let me out of here. What do you think you're doing?

- Ha ha!

Ah! - I'll get us out of here.

Uh, eventually.

[crowd clamoring]

All right, shut up, everybody. Shut it!

- [munching, grunts, gulps]

- Allow me to point out the exits,

because this next act is sure to disappoint you.

Don't put your hands together for Squid-O,

the world's saddest clown.

- [grunting]

[sighs dejectedly]

all: Aw.

- [sighs dejectedly]

Um...

Ha.

all: Aw. - [grunts goofily]

[moaning]

all: Aw.

- What? They're not supposed to sympathize with him.

Don't aw him. Boo him!

[sad music playing]

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

all: Aw.

[birds tweeting]

♪ ♪

- Ah...

all: Aw.

- [groans dejectedly] all: Aw.

[cheers and applause]

- Mwah, mwah.

Ha. Cha-cha-cha-cha!

- What the...

This idiot crowd is too easily entertained.

I've got one last act that'll make them hate this circus.

[Ringmaster grunting] Almost there.

- All right, you sea bears, out.

Out, out, out, out, out.

Patrick!

- What's up? - Get in.

[chuckles evilly]

For our next pitiful,

second-rate form of entertainment,

we have the mournful sight of a trained dancing sea bear

that's a total fraud! [cheers and applause]

- [spits] Hey, that's Patrick. - Aah!

all: Hi, Patrick!

- Hello, Bikini Bottom!

[whistle blows] Aah!

Get on the ball, fake bear,

and dance.

- [grunting]

[crowd booing]

- Hey, he's being mean to the fake bear.

- It's finally working.

Yes, I agree.

This show is the worst.

If I were you, I'd storm out and demand my money back

and then go spend it at the Krusty Krab.

[whistle blows] Hmm?

- Your turn!

On the ball, Ringmaster, and dance!

all: [chanting] On the ball! On the ball!

On the ball! [whips cracking]

- Yeah, yeah. Yeah!

[laughing]

all: [chanting] On the ball! On the ball!

[whistle blows] - Okay, okay. I'll get on.

There, see?

Whoa, whoa. Whoa!

Oh, boy, I'm dragging. [whistle blowing]

[shouts, grunting]

[all cheering]

[all grunt]

- I'll take care of Krabs myself.

[whistle blowing]

Krabs!

How dare you turn my circus

into a--well, a circus?

- Well, how dare you turn me restaurant

into a empty restaurant?

- [shouts] - Uh-oh.

Alley-oop!

[grunts]

- [growls]

- [grunting]

- You can swing, but you can't hide.

[grunts] Oh! No.

- [grunting]

[fanfare plays, crowd cheers]

Whoa!

[crowd clamoring]

- Ha! Looks like you're hung out to dry.

Aah! Urchins! Get 'em off me!

- [laughs] What?

Huh?

You'd be nothing without me!

- [grunts] Oh!

Krabs?

- [grunting]

Aah!

[crowd clamoring]

- I'm gonna blast a hole right through your carapace,

you corny carny.

- [grunts] [tires squealing]

I'm gonna pound out all of your teeth,

you ridiculous restauranteur.

[cannons blast, both grunting]

[loud impact]

[all cheering]

[light music]

- Hey, Squidward, do you think Mr. Krabs

will ever come back to the Krusty Krab?

- I doubt it.

He's making more money now than he ever did.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

behold the most incredible sight you'll ever see.

It's amazing, and it's alive.

- Step right up, folks.

If I knew I'd make this much money,

I'd have cannonballed into you a long time ago.

Oh, I love the circus.

- It's the greatest dough on Earth.

[both laughing]

[upbeat bluegrassy music]

♪ ♪

[insects chirping]

- [snoring, cooing] [rooster crows]

[groaning]

[light music]

♪ ♪

Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yee-haw!

Good morning, sunshine!

- Morning, Sandy.

♪ ♪

- [grunts, chuckles] Whoa, little doggie!

After months of careful calculations,

my bio-illogical experiment is almost done.

- [screaming]

[groans]

- [screams] - Sandy, help me.

- Hopping holes, SpongeBob. What's wrong?

- You got to come quick. My alarm clock is broken!

- Oh...

your alarm clock, huh?

Uh, are you sure we need to take care of that just now?

- Yes.

[groans]

- Oh.

Oh, all right.

[alarm blaring]

[people screaming and shouting]

[blaring continues]

- I even pulled out the plug, and I can't shut it off.

- I got to get my brain working on this.

[grunts, warbling goofily]

[shouts, grunting]

[alarm ringing] Hmm?

Hmm. Aha!

[ringing stops] Eh.

[blaring continues]

I see the problem. Thanks, brain.

[blaring continues]

Your spongy finger is just too darn soft and cute

to press the switch.

- Huh? Aw.

- Don't worry, darling. I'll fix it.

[blaring continues]

- [laughing] Thanks, Sandy.

all: Thanks, Sandy!

- I'm just itching to get back to my experiment.

[telephone ringing] Huh?

Uh, hello?

- Sandy, help me!

- Flying Dutchman?

Whoa!

[grunts]

- Sandy!

- Aah! Hmm?

- That's just a painting! I'm down here!

- What happened to you, Dutchy?

- What's it look like?

A witch trapped me inside a crystal ball!

Now get me out of here!

Sandy, I am in your hands.

- Let me try a little...

[both grunting]

Huh.

Or maybe some of this. [chomping goofily]

Well, that didn't work.

Come on, brain!

- [clucking like a chicken]

- That's it!

I need to use good old farm science on this one!

[clucking like a chicken] - Hey, what are you doing?

Ow!

[timer clicking, bell dings]

[upbeat fiddle music]

Hey! You hatched me good!

Wait a minute. I'm still tiny.

What gives, Sandy?

- [clucking like a chicken] Huh?

- I'm sorry to interrupt, Science Officer Cheeks,

but the Undersea Space Agency

needs your immediate assistance.

- Absolutely.

Sorry, Dutchy. Duty calls.

[grunts]

Whoa!

[epic music]

- A giant meteor is headed straight for Earth,

and as usual, Sandy, you're the only one that can save us.

- Hmm. Hmm.

- [muttering to self]

Aha! [bell dings]

- You can count on me, sir.

♪ ♪

Hyah!

Mm...

♪ ♪

Yahoo!

[seagull cries]

♪ ♪

Pardon me, Earth, you'll need to scooch over a bit.

♪ ♪

Phew!

♪ ♪

[alarm blaring] Wuh-oh!

That sidewinding stone is a-coming back.

[grunts]

Bad meteor, bad!

- [crying]

- Thanks, Sandy!

♪ ♪

- Sweet mother-of-pearl!

I can finally be all alone with my--

[gasps]

[dramatic music]

My experiment worked!

It's huge! [knocking]

Wait right there. Cavalry's coming.

[grunting]

[shell cracking]

- I am Pecan Sandy!

Huh.

Howdy, Pecan Sandy.

[grunting]

[moaning] Hmm?

I'm Sandy Number One,

and I created you in my lab to help me

with all the chores while I'm out saving people all day.

You can start by taking out the garbage.

[insects buzzing]

- Pecan Sandy hates taking out the garbage.

[roars]

[shouts] - I'm sorry, Pecan Sandy!

You don't have to take out the garbage!

Uh, how about washing the dishes?

- Hmm?

[grumbles]

[roars]

Pecan Sandy is not your maid!

[roaring]

- This experiment is backfiring on me.

I got to think, got to think.

- [grunting]

[sobbing]

Oh!

My bushwhacked brain is too fried to think.

All right, time to use some brawn!

Ah!

- [grunting]

[both grunting]

- [grunting] Okay.

Looks like I'm gonna need to pull the rip cord

and call my emergency contact.

[line trilling]

- [humming happily]

[telephone ringing]

Hello?

- Narlene, help me!

Narlene, are you there?

- [grunting]

[upbeat banjo music]

♪ ♪

Well, that's Sandy in a nutshell.

[laughs]

- I'd like to laugh about it, too, Narlene.

Can you get me out of here soon?

- Sooner than you think.

[grunting goofily]

[shell cracking]

- Than you kindly, country buddy.

[Pecan Sandy roaring, both shout]

- Don't tell me.

You created a Pecan Sandy in your lab.

It's gone on a rampage, and you need my help to stop it.

- Yep, that about covers it.

- Let me give it a think.

Hmm...

[slow banjo music]

♪ ♪

- [laughing, grunting]

Oh, ow! Oh, ow, ow! [grunting]

I got it!

There's only one way to pummel pesky pecan into pie--

with your feet!

- That's your answer for everything, Narlene.

And I like it!

[bell dings]

- [roaring]

[light music]

♪ ♪

- Nice triple footsie, Narlene!

- Now, ain't you sweet?

I liked your toe-jam slam, too, Sandy.

[both shout] - [roars]

- My mama didn't raise no quitters.

I'm getting to the bottom of this pickle barrel.

- Watch it, Narlene.

- [grunting]

- [roaring]

- Tell me, Pecan Sandy, why are you so angry?

- Pecan Sandy angry

because she created me to take out her garbage!

- You did what, now?

Heck, I'd go on a rampage, too.

What possessed you?

It was a bad idea. I admit it now.

Look, on paper...

Oh...

- Well, now that I know the whole story,

my hill-folk wisdom tells me

there's only one way to crack this nutty problem.

- [grunts forcefully]

- We got to let her loose to live her own life.

- I want whatever Pecan Sandy wants.

- I am Pecan Sandy!

And me do what me wants!

[grunting]

both: Y'all come back anytime!

- All right, we've earned a break.

[upbeat banjo music]

- Me finally happy!

[grunts] [all screaming]

♪ ♪

all: Sandy, help us!

[music playing through headphones]

♪ ♪