Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

kids: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

kids: Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

[flute plays]

[waves crashing]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Well, here I am floating face-down in a swimming pool.

I always wanted a pool, and in the end, I got one.

How did I get here?

Well, it all started yesterday.

[quirky music]

♪ ♪

- [slurps] Ah.

- [grunts] - Oh!

[retches]

[grumbles]

Sponge-- ugh!

[spits] SpongeBob!

Whoa!

- Squidward, did you say something?

- [grunts]

Why are you digging up your yard?

- I'm putting in a pool.

- Oh, a pool?

[grumbles]

- Mm-hmm, and I'm going to invite my favorite

next-door neighbor as soon as it's ready.

- Get off me!

I wouldn't be caught dead

in your muddy, little bacteria hole.

I only swim in sophisticated pools.

- Well, if you change your mind, it's almost done.

- [chuckles] Yeah, sure.

[sighs] Uh-huh.

[slurps] - It's done!

- Huh?

[relaxed music]

[spits] What the--?

Why, it's beautiful.

[growls]

Why does he get to have a pool?

If anyone around here deserves a pool,

it's me.

- Cannonball!

- Oh.

[quirky music]

♪ ♪

[growls]

- Hey, Squidward, come join us in the pool!

- Quick, while the water's still wet!

- [growls]

Pool! [grunts]

♪ ♪

Forget the pool. Forget the pool.

Forget the pool.

Mm-hmm.

What the--? pool.

- [laughter] - [screams]

Oh!

Pool!

- [laughter]

- Keep quiet, you chlorinated clods!

- Cannonball! - Huh?

- Oh! - Uh-oh.

- [groaning]

Ouch!

Ow, ow. [groans]

Who needs a soggy, old pool

when you have the luxury and elegance

of indoor air conditioning. Mwah.

[machine sputters]

Ooh, it's a little hot.

♪ ♪

Huh?

- [laughter]

- That is one cool pool, my fool.

See you tomorrow, SpongeBob. - Swim safely, Patrick.

Meet you at the pool.

♪ ♪

- Oh, it's so hot.

- Hey, Squidward...

- What? Who said that?

[spooky music]

- Don't be a drip. Take a dip.

[chuckles] You know you want to.

- [chuckles nervously]

SpongeBob is asleep.

I'll just take a quick dip to cool off.

[chuckles] - That a boy!

Jump in. - [screams]

♪ ♪

[chuckles] Pool.

♪ ♪

[giggling] Oh! Oh!

[muffled screaming]

♪ ♪

Thank Neptune nobody heard me.

Ah!

- [growls]

- Gary, you leave

those sea bunnies alone and come to bed.

- [growls] - Ow!

- [growls]

- [sighs] Phew.

Now I can have the pool all to myself.

[laughing softly]

Oh, pool.

[relaxed music]

[indistinct chatter]

Ciao, everybody.

all: Ciao, Squidwardo.

- Squidwardo, you must play your clarinet for us.

You simply must.

- I'll think about it.

♪ ♪

all: Aw.

[all sigh]

- [playing elegantly]

♪ ♪

- Ciao bella.

♪ ♪

- Mwah. - Mwah.

- [smooching]

Wha--

[grunting]

Egad, I must've fallen asleep.

- [laughter]

- I can't let them find me here.

[tense music]

- Ooh, I can't wait to get wet!

- Hey, where's the pool toys?

- Oh, not the pool shed, not the pool shed,

not the pool shed.

- They're in the pool shed, silly.

- Gotta hide. Gotta hide.

Gotta hide.

- Toys, toys, toys! - Me first! Me first!

[laughter] - Okay, Patrick.

You can pick first. - Hmm.

Which toy, which toy, which toy?

- Not me. Not me. Not me.

- I'll take this big, ugly one.

[chuckles]

It's too floppy to float on. It needs more air.

[smacks lips]

[inhales deeply]

[upbeat music]

- [groans softly]

♪ ♪

- Well, that ought to do it.

- Hey, nice find, Patrick.

♪ ♪

- [chuckles] Cannon sit!

- [whimpers]

♪ ♪

- [laughs] - Ah!

- [laughs] Pool fight!

- Pool fight! - A pool fight!

- Pool fight! - Pool fight!

- A pool-- [screams]

- Aw, it's broken. - [whimpers softly]

[together] Ride the wave!

Ride the wave! Yeah!

- [grunting]

[both straining]

- Tug it back. - Tug it forth.

- Tug it back. - Tug it forth!

- Ow! - Oh!

[laughing] - [groaning]

♪ ♪

[laughter]

- [groaning]

- [snarls]

- [laughing]

SpongeBob, watch this! - Help me.

[whimpers] - Black hole!

Wahoo! - [screaming]

♪ ♪

[laughter]

[together] Again, again!

[laughter]

- [screaming]

It's me! I was the pool toy, you idiots!

- Squidward...

that's the greatest magic trick I've ever seen!

- Yeah, let's do it again!

[inhales deeply]

- [sighs]

Look, SpongeBob, I admit it.

I used your pool without permission

because I'm really jealous of it.

I want your pool chairs. I want your pool jets.

I want your pool noodles.

And most of all, I want this diving board.

[sobbing]

- Squidward, we're best neighbors.

You can use my pool anytime you like,

day or night, you silly.

- [chuckles] Aw, gee, thanks SpongeBob.

- Say, how'd you like to take a divey-wivey

on the boardy-woardy, hmm?

- Oh, no, thanks, but I just couldn't.

- Please, you must take a dive, Squidwardo.

- Huh?

I would love to take a dive.

I was on my high school swim team.

- Hey, Squidward, this ladder is adjustable.

Do you want to go higher?

- I love you all too!

- Okay, I'll take that as a yes.

Crank it up, Patrick!

- [chuckles]

- [humming melody]

[relaxed music]

♪ ♪

Ciao bella! I dive!

[tires screech]

[dramatic music]

[screams]

Troppo elevato! Too high, too high!

- Oh, it's too high, Patrick. Crank it down!

- [grunts] Mm-hmm.

- Huh?

What was that? [screaming]

[quirky music]

- Uh, uh...hmm.

Ah. - [screaming]

- Oh.

- [screaming]

- Aw, hm. Uh-huh?

Ah. - [screaming]

[groans and whimpers]

- Yay! - Yeah!

♪ ♪

- Perfect dive, Squidward.

[dramatic music]

- And that's how I got here.

[groaning]

[grunts]

Typical.

[soft dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

- [slurping]

- Your order is ready, Mr. Bass.

Whoops.

Whoa!

- Ah, ah!

♪ ♪

Ugh, you've mingled Krabby Patty

in my kelp shake.

- Sorry, let me refresh that for you.

- Hold your seahorses.

Hmm.

It's greasy, yet cool and refreshing.

[gulping]

Fetch me another posthaste!

- That does look good. - I want one too.

- Ooh, I sense a money-tunity.

The brand-new Patty Whip is now on the menu,

available for a moderately exorbitant upcharge.

♪ ♪

- [humming melody] Yep!

- Can I get two to-go? Two to-go please.

♪ ♪

- [panting]

- Keep those Patty Whips coming, Mr. Squidward.

- I'm trying! Ah, bleh!

♪ ♪

- Closing time. See you tomorrow.

- [yelps] - Finally.

[knocks] Huh?

You can harden your arteries tomorrow.

We're closed! [screams]

[groans]

- The Goobfather would like to have

a little talk with your boss.

- Goobfather?

Aren't you the manager of the Goofy Goober?

- That's just my day job.

The Goobfather is my true identity.

I control all the ice cream trade

in this town, and I heard about your little fatty flips.

- That's Patty Whips.

And a little friendly competition

never hurt anyone. - [chuckles]

Of course not, but maybe you should stick

to flipping patties and leave the frozen treats

to the experts, hm?

- I'm not gonna stop selling my newest moneymaker.

- [snaps] Do your stuff, boys.

[both growl]

- [snoring]

Huh? What? Mama, I want to sing.

Whoa! Ah!

[both grunting]

- Be thankful I didn't turn you into gelato.

[laughs] - Good one, boss.

- Oh! - Aw.

No more Patty Whips.

- Don't worry, boyo. This is me restaurant.

And no one tells me what's on me menu but me.

- [slurping]

[soft dramatic music]

- [humming melody] Huh?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

The Patty Whip machine, it's working again!

♪ ♪

- [panting]

♪ ♪

- I spent all night rebuilding it.

Patty Whips are back on the menu!

- But, Mr. Krabs, what if the Goobfather

and his goober goons come back? - Don't worry.

I brought in a little protection meself.

Come on out, boys.

[soft dramatic music]

- [grunting softly]

- Uh, aren't they a little, uh, elderly?

- We may be a little wrinkly...

- But we're as tough as jerky! Ooh!

- Bleh!

- We're dead.

Ah, oh! - [laughs]

- The Goobfather would like to have another little talk.

- Well, if it isn't the crab who don't listen.

Teach him another lesson, boys!

- Not so fast, Goobfather. [snaps]

Throw these interlopers out of me restaurant.

[both growling]

- Initiate formation 42!

- Hey, look, is that a sale on brass knuckles?

- Brass knuckles? - Ooh, do they have my size?

[quirky music]

- [straining] Ooh, sorry.

- Uh-oh, time to skedaddle.

- [grunts] - Oh!

- Oh, these goons are good. No!

[both laughing]

♪ ♪

- Well, we're whipped.

- Next time you hire some muscle, Krabs,

make sure they have muscles. [claps]

- Huh?

- Eat goobers, you goofballs!

[gun booming] - Ah, oh, ah!

[explosion]

[laughter]

- Enough of this bilge water.

Time to take the fight to the Goobfather's home turf.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- [giggles]

♪ ♪

- [grunts] - Sorry, sorry.

Sorry. - [laughs]

[ragtime music]

Oy, keep your eye open for anything worth sabotaging.

♪ ♪

- Hey, you! - Who, me?

Um, um...

- Give me a double scoop

of kelp swirl with extra sprinkles.

- Coming up.

Double K swirl and make it snow.

- Mmm!

♪ ♪

- Hmm.

That thermostat, that'll do.

Now all we need is a distraction.

- Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I've got it handled.

Ta-da!

♪ ♪

Oh, yeah! Check me out!

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

- It's so lame, but I can't take my eyes off the guy.

- I can feel the rhythm of his scoops in my soul.

- Oh, this is the tricky part. - [laughs]

This'll sizzle their sorbet.

- Try and keep up, y'all. Oh, my scoops are on fire.

- His funky scoops are so smokin' hot,

I'm sweating. - Hm?

Oh.

It's not his spoons.

Someone's turned up the heat.

The ice cream is going critical!

- Big finish! - Come on, kid!

It's time to blow this ice cream stand

before this ice cream stand blows!

[quirky music]

- [screams] - [screams]

[both scream]

[all screaming]

[explosion]

- Time to cheese it, boyo! [laughs]

Never mess with an old Navy man!

- Ooh, I'll get you, Krabs,

and your little sponge too!

♪ ♪

- [humming melody]

- Prepare to be annihilated! [whistle blowing]

- [screams]

Mr. Krabs, it's the Goobfather!

We're about to be hit by a competing restaurant.

- Don't worry, SpongeBob. we're ready for 'em.

[dramatic music]

[horn blares]

♪ ♪

- Hm? Hm. Deploy soft serve cannons!

Activate toffee treads!

Hot fudge howitzer!

♪ ♪

Try the engines, boyo!

- Aye, aye, Mr. Krabs!

♪ ♪

- Oh! Mmm.

[laughing]

- Fire ice cream cannons!

- Firing ice cream cannons!

♪ ♪

- Evasive maneuvers! [screams]

♪ ♪

Return fire!

Oh, er, return ice cream!

- Have a double scoop!

- Whoa! Ah!

Brain freeze!

- Eat hot fudge, villain!

♪ ♪

- Ugh, such sticky yet delicious pain!

Ugh.

- Don't forget the sprinkles!

- Whoa! - Launch sugar cone drones!

♪ ♪

- Hm?

♪ ♪

- Huh? - Huh?

[both scream]

- I'm sending you to the deep freeze, Krabs!

- In your ice dreams, Goobfather!

♪ ♪

- Oh, fudge.

[restaurants clatter and thud]

- Ugh, not giving up.

- Ugh, me neither.

- [grunting]

[ice cream cone hums] Ha! Ah!

[both grunting]

- Wow!

♪ ♪

Ah! - Ow!

[machinery whirring] - What's that sound?

- It couldn't be.

[quirky music]

♪ ♪

[together] The Ice Cream King!

- Cease your hostil-lily-- hostile--

quit fightin'!

Ice cream isn't meant for brawling!

It's supposed to bring sugar fueled fun,

belly aches, and brain freezes to the world.

- He's right.

- We shouldn't be fighting.

- There's plenty of saps-- or, customers in town

for both of us.

[upbeat music]

[both chomping]

[together] Mmm.

- And if you don't quit fighting,

I'll use my ultimate weapon, the ice cream bomb!

[together] Ice cream bomb?

- [gasps] Wait!

- We've already stopped fighting!

- What? I can't hear you!

Uh, hold on, I'll be right down.

Bombs away!

Whoo-hoo!

Yee-haw! Yee-ha-haw!

[both screaming]

[explosion]

♪ ♪

- [screams]

♪ ♪

- Hey, everyone, free ice cream!

- Whoo-hoo! - Oh, ooh.

♪ ♪

[both chomping]

- Is this a dream?

- Free ice cream forever! [giggles]

- [laughs] You're welcome!

- Oh, it looks like we're all out of business.

- Will someone please get me down?

Ow! [sighs]

Typical.