Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

kids: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

kids: Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪ ♪

[waves crashing]

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪

- [gasps]

[grunts] Mwah. - Aww.

- [laughing]

- Ha ha.

- Ha ha.

- [laughing]

Whoa! - [quacks]

- Aww.

♪ Soon I will get a thrill, cooking patties on my grill ♪

Whee!

[grunts] Whoa!

"Krusty Krab closed on account of urchins"?

Oh, I must be in a nightmare.

- It's no nightmare, SpongeBob.

I'm closing the old girl up for a week

to get rid of those prickly pests.

Plus, I had a coupon for Urchin B-Gone.

- What will become of me?

What am I gonna do for a whole week?

- Slow your roll, Boy-o.

I've rented you out to a different establishment

for the week, so is not to disrupt

me incomin' monies.

- Oh, boy!

A temporary job sounds so adventurous.

Is Squidward coming too?

- Nope, I got him a job in the entertainment industry.

- Whoa.

[rowdy circus music] [horn honking]

- Still better than working with SpongeBob.

- [trumpets]

- Where will I be working, Mr. Krabs?

- You'll be working right here at The Salty Spitoon.

[yelling] [spits]

- Aah!

- No, thanks. That place is too tough for me.

[screams] - [snarls, barks]

- You don't have to be tough to work here.

You just gotta look tough.

- [grunting] There.

Now you look like a tough guy.

- I don't feel tough, Mr. Krabs.

- Now when you go in there, go up to the biggest customer,

look him squarely in the eye... [bell dings]

And let him know exactly what you think of him.

- No problem, Mr. K.

I'm great at looking squarely.

[laughs]

- No funny business, Boy-o.

[intense guitar music]

- Argh! - Oh!

[both grunting]

♪ ♪

- [laughs] [cannon blows]

♪ ♪

- Whoa!

- [mumbles]

- [squeaks] - Aah!

[growls]

- Huh? [growls]

- Grr, I'm gonna tell you exactly what I think of you.

You have got the most beautiful baby blue eyes.

- Aw, thanks.

I got 'em from me mother.

- Blue eyes? Everybody knows my green eyes

are the most beautiful.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah!

[both roaring]

- Aah!

- Hey. Yai.

- [whistles] - You must be SpongeBob.

Welcome to The Salty Spitoon. [spits]

I'm the owner of this joint.

That means youse works for me now!

- My new boss.

So nice to meet--

[groans]

[heavy rock music]

[grunts]

- Here's the grill.

- Wha--aah. [blubbers] - Here's the spatoola.

Now make with the grub. - Aah.

- Um, just out of curiosity,

uh, what happened to your last fry cook?

- That's our employee of the month wall.

- [gasps]

- Your photo is gonna be next if you don't get to work!

[smash] - [winces]

[flames roaring]

Don't worry, SpongeBob.

It'll be just like working at the Krusty Krab.

- ♪ La la la la la ♪

- Keep those patties comin', pal.

I love you.

- Gimme a brick covered in nails

with extra motor oil!

[bell dings]

Huh? What is this garbage?

I asked for a brick covered with nails.

- Oh, I thought that was just diner lingo.

Sorry. [grunting]

Brick covered with nails, extra motor oil.

Salty Spitoon style.

[spits] - Hmm.

Now that's a tough sandwich.

[everyone grunting, gasping]

- Oh.

- Ooh, the brick is so tender, and the nails are roasted.

[all cheering]

- Whoo-hoo! - Got some more orders for you,

SpongeBob.

- 72 bricks covered in motor oil coming right up.

[panting]

[cheering]

[all gasp] - Whaddaya know?

Whaddaya say, gang?

- It's Puff the Tuff! - [gasps]

[stuttering] Puff the Tuff?

[straining] - [grunts]

[laughs]

[inhales]

[all groan]

- Gimme a tall glass of broken glass

in a dirty glass.

[glass shatters]

- [growls]

[chomp]

- [laughing]

- That laugh. No!

It can't be him.

- Who ordered the bomb-becue?

[laughs]

- SpongeBob! - [gasps]

- [groans] Aah!

[all gasp]

- Was that Mrs. Puff?

- Wait a second.

Why is Puff the Tuff afraid of you?

- Oh, she probably didn't recognize me

now that I'm a tough guy.

[horn honks] Oh, my shoelace is untied.

Safety first. [boom]

- Aah! - That new little cook

seems pretty tough.

- Oh, yeah? Let's see how tough he is.

Let the trials of toughness begin!

Mechanical Sea-bull.

- Whoa! Whoa! Aah!

- Aw, poor thing.

You're probably tired of people riding you all the time.

Take a break and ride me.

- [snorts] - [laughs]

Whee! [smash]

Oops.

- Whoo-hoo. Whoo-hoo.

- Punching bag!

- [grunting]

- [growling]

Whoa.

[air squeaking]

- Nice punch, SpongeBob.

- Body hair strength!

- [grunts]

[laughs]

- Uh.

Oh.

I'll just use my abrasive side.

[laughs]

- [gasps] Aww.

- I declare the toughest guy at The Salty Spitoon...

[spits] Is SpongeBob SquarePants.

[cheers and applause]

[chain clangs]

Whoo!

- As our tough guy leader,

you have the power to do whatever you want.

- Well, in that case, I've got a few wild ideas

for this place.

[all quacking]

[motor roars]

[upbeat rock music]

[motor revs]

[horn honks] - Aah!

♪ ♪

[tires screeching]

- All right, guys.

Prepare to rumble in the toughest place

in Bikini Bottom.

[cheering]

- [gasps]

Huh? [growls]

[light music]

♪ ♪

Yeah, no, no, no, no. This is the right place.

What's going on in here?

I demand to speak to whoever's in charge.

[patrons quietly conversing]

[old Western music playing]

- Welcome, stranger.

- Oh. [chuckles]

Why is the cheese talking to me?

- You asked to speak with the tough leader?

- No, no, really, who let this guy in here?

- I see you're admiring the new décor.

- Tell him how it is, lad.

- I'll do him one better.

♪ Oh ♪

all: ♪ Oh ♪

- Hey, what's happening?

♪ Come one and come all to The Softy Spitoon ♪

all: ♪ Softy Spitoon ♪

- ♪ Where all of our cupcakes come with a balloon ♪

all: ♪ Softy Spitoon ♪

- If you like head kisses and cuddly hugs ♪

all: ♪ Softy Spitoon ♪

- ♪ And raise up your milk with "I heart Mom" mugs ♪

all: ♪ Softy Spitoon ♪ - ♪ Ready? ♪

all: ♪ Softy ♪ - Enough!

You're acting like a bunch of weenies.

- Weenies?

We have those, and they are to die for.

A dab of freshly pickled relish, perhaps?

- [growls]

- [cries] - Hey!

There ain't no cryin' in The Softy--

I mean The Salty Spitoon.

- Well, there is now, buttercup.

And if you don't like it, you can hike it.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah. - [snaps]

[everyone yelling]

- Well, let's see how SpongeBob is doing.

This oughta be good. [glass shatters]

[gasps]

- Krabs, what are you doin' here?

The week ain't up yet.

- SpongeBob isn't giving you a problem?

- Problem?

Nah, he's the belle of the ball.

- [chomps] Ah. [groans]

- In fact, the customers like him so much,

I'm gonna keep him on permanently.

- You can't do that.

He's coming back with me right now.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.

[gasps] [both grunting]

- I better take you home, Mr. Krabs.

This place is much too tough for you.

You might get hurt, see?

- Whoa. - Ha.

- Fare thee well, you old Softy Spitoon.

We'll always have... [spits]

- [groaning]

Huh? Hey, everybody.

That guy is kidnapping our leader.

[all grunting]

- ♪ Softy Spitoon ♪

♪ Softy Spitoon ♪

♪ Softy ♪

♪ Spitoon ♪

[laughs]

[light beachy music]

♪ ♪

- [barking]

- All right, Plankton.

I managed to fit 12 changes of underwear

in your suitcase.

Will that be enough for the trip?

- [laughing] - [barking]

- I'm gonna be gone for three days, Karen,

so yeah, that should cover it.

[giggles]

That's right, Spot. Daddy has to go

to the annual Doomsday Device Expo in Shell City.

He's gonna find you an instrument of ultimate evil.

Yes, he is.

- [barks] - Don't worry, boy.

I left lots of instructions for Mommy,

so she knows exactly how to care for you

while I'm gone.

[bright orchestral music]

My wittle man just needs wots of extra wove,

and I would destroy the whole world

if anything happened to him.

[horn honks] - Oh, your taxi's here.

♪ ♪

[tires screeching]

Off you go, Sheldon.

- So long, Karen.

Bye, Spotty!

- Bye, Plankton.

Have a nice trip.

Looks like it's just you and me, Spot.

Spot? - [barking]

[alarm blares]

Oh, Plankton's instructions.

Spot, bad amoeba.

- [barks]

- Oh, who needs Plankton's little notes?

A sophisticated AI like myself should have no problem

with a simple organic being.

All he needs is a basic analysis.

[dramatic music]

[laser humming]

- [chomps] - No!

I'm not done analyzing you. - [barks]

- Spot! Heel, boy.

Heel. - [barks, pants]

[squish]

- Uh-oh.

Is he supposed to do that?

Hmm, maybe he needs a little pumping up.

[light music]

♪ ♪

- [squeaking] - [grunts]

[straining]

There you go, Spot. - [barks]

[splat]

- Aah!

I killed him!

[pounding at door]

Huh?

[gasps]

Who sent you?

What do you know?

- Hi, Karen.

Gary has a playdate with Spot, remember?

- Meow.

- Uh, oh, with Spot, huh?

[laughs nervously] Well, uh, the thing is,

Spot can't play today because he's, uh--

he--busy. He's busy.

He's, uh, very busy, um... [dial-up beeps]

All over the place in bits and pieces

because I exploded him.

[wailing, crying]

- [laughs]

Yeah, that's Spot all right.

[laughing]

- Huh?

- Spot, come to SpongeBob!

[whistles]

[cheery music]

♪ ♪

- How did you figure that out?

- This happens all the time when he plays with Gary.

- [squeals] - [grunts]

- [squeals] - Meow.

- Oh, I admit, looking after Spot

while Plankton is gone is proving trickier

than I thought.

♪ ♪

[crunch]

- Whoo!

[squealing]

- Maybe he needs to burn off some energy?

- [grunting]

How are you so strong?

♪ ♪

[sighs] - [barks]

- [growls]

[purrs]

- [barks]

[belches]

[sizzling]

- Meow?

[brakes screeching]

- Spot, look at this mess.

- Come on, Spot.

Don't you want to be a good boy like Gary?

[siren blares] - [growls]

- [belches]

[barking] - Spot, no!

Bad boy.

- Whoa! - [barking]

- [sobbing] - [gasps]

- Whoa!

- [chomps]

- I nose this ain't my donut.

- Oh.

[chokes]

- [barking]

- He's too fast.

How can this get any worse?

[phone rings]

- Karen's head, how may I direct your call?

- Oh, yes. May I talk to Karen?

Wait a minute. Who is this?

- Uh, uh, that was me... [laughs]

Throwing my voice, and now it's you.

How's the Doomsday Expo?

- Oh, it's over.

I'm coming home early. - You're what?

- But I bought the most evil world-conquering device

I could find.

[spooky music]

Anyway, how's my little Spot?

Put him on the phone.

I miss his voice.

- Put Spot on the phone? - Whoa.

This phone? - [whimpers]

Ooh.

- [barks]

- There's my wittle man.

Sounds like Mommy is taking good care of you.

- Hey, some idiot left this tiny suitcase

next to an open flame!

[explosions] Oh, no.

[everyone screaming]

- Uh, gotta go.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

[bell dings]

- [grunts]

Whew, let's get back before Plankton comes home.

- Meow. - Oh, hey, Gary.

How was your shift? - Meow.

- [barking]

- What's wrong?

You haven't touched your chum.

- No, thank you.

I don't really eat chum.

- Yep, me neither.

- [growling, barking]

- Karen? Have you fed Spot yet?

- No, does he not consume power from his battery?

- Uh, no.

He consumes other stuff.

- [sniffs]

[barks]

- Are you still hungry? - [barks]

- Okay, how 'bout a nice, um, a napkin dispenser?

- [gulps]

- Gee, Spot'll eat anything, huh?

- [barking]

- [gasps, growls] No more, Spot.

You literally just ate us out of house and home.

- [barks]

- Fine, you're still hungry?

I'll give you all the nourishment

you'll ever need.

Here, I synthesized a perpetual nutrient pill.

It'll keep feeding you so you'll be full.

Forever.

Huh? Uh--

- Hey, Karen?

Is he supposed to be getting bigger?

- That was not in my calculations.

- It's gonna stop soon? Right? - Meow.

- Uh, well, you see, SpongeBob,

I didn't program the pill to stop.

Ever.

[creaking]

- I gotta be careful with you. [laughs]

One wrong move and you'll blow the whole ocean sky-high.

[laughs]

Huh?

- [barking]

Huh, the good times never last.

Aah!

[dramatic music]

[boom] - Ouch!

♪ ♪

- [gasps] - Huh?

[citizens murmuring]

- Karen!

- [grunts] - None of my sticky notes said

to turn Spot into a behemoth!

- Well, this wouldn't have happened

if you had trained him properly.

- I'm a busy man.

You should've been following my instructions.

- Excuse me?

I am your computer wife, not your computer maid.

- [whining] - I slave all day

over a hot keyboard-- - Oh, so everything

is my fault!

It's all ones and zeroes with you, honey.

You probably made Spot bigger than me on purpose...

- Aha! - To make me feel small.

- Spot? - Your mouth is the biggest

part of you-- - Ah!

- Everything about you is small.

- My heart is big.

- [straining] - I should not have settled.

- Look! both: Huh?

- [barking]

- Spot!

I think he's dividing.

- Aww, he doesn't like it when Mommy and Daddy fight.

Come on, boy. Come to Papa. - [groaning]

- Come on, boy! - Come to Daddy.

- Come on! - [groaning]

[snap]

all: Spot!

- [groans]

Aww. [laughs]

Aww. - Oh, I can't stay mad

at these cute little faces.

- Well, I'm still a little mad.

[both laugh] - Aww.

- [chomps] - [laughing]

[playful music]

♪ ♪

[sizzling]

[light beachy music]

♪ ♪