Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

kids: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

kids: Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪ ♪

[waves crashing]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- End of another 18-hour shift of misery.

- Ooh! Ahoy there!

And what do you two laddies have planned for this weekend?

- I'm polishing Gary's shell.

[whirring]

- [groans]

[growls]

Well, I'm going to a post-post-pre-modern

unconstructivist dance performance.

[futuristic music]

- Uh, well, that's fascinating.

♪ ♪

Hey, instead of that malarkey,

what would you say to a leisurely weekend

sailing trip on me brand-new yacht?

Huh? [chuckles]

The sun in your face. Huh?

- Ooh.

[laughs laboriously]

- The wind in your--

uh, head wrinkles.

- [sighs] Hmm.

Well, I wouldn't mind a nice, relaxing ocean cruise.

- Great.

I'll see you at the dock

bright and early tomorrow morning.

- [humming] - [humming]

- [sighs] Mm-hmm.

- Mr. Krabs, I'm all dressed up and ready to...

snorkel.

- Wait a second.

- Uh, Mr. Krabs, where's your ship?

- Something smells fishy.

- Don't get your mizzenmast in a twist.

I got your ship right here.

[both grunt]

[chuckles] Some assembly required.

- We have to build the ship?

- Yay! We get to build the ship!

- Premade vessels are for landlubbers.

Real sailors build their own ships.

Now get to work, you two.

And as an old Navy man,

I'll be responsible for the most difficult part.

- And that would be?

- Supervising.

[grunts]

[snoring]

- [grunts]

Old Navy man?

Ha! More like old, lazy man.

Hmm.

[sighs] Oh, boy.

All right, let's get this over with.

Now, where are the instructions?

- I'll find them. - [grunting

- Instructions, instructions...

How to assemble... - [yelps]

- Got them!

Hmm, step one.

- [moans]

Give me that.

Hmm--huh? [wind blows]

[groans]

[propeller whirs]

Now, what are we supposed to do?

- Don't worry, Squidward,

I know exactly how to handle this situation.

- Oh, really?

- We just need to follow our hearts.

♪ La, la, la ♪

- Oh.

[quirky music]

[groans] Hmm...

- Squidward, I did the first piece.

- SpongeBob, you clam-head,

you don't put up the mast first.

- [shouting] What's that, Squidward?

- I said, "SpongeBob, you clam-head"--

[groans]

[moans]

- Hey!

- You have to start with the frame.

All right, now bend it into a boat shape.

D'oh!

♪ ♪

[yelps]

[whistles and clangs]

- Tickle, tickle, tickle.

- SpongeBob, wood planks are not--

- [laughs]

- Ticklish.

[yelps]

[screams]

[whistles and clangs]

- We did it, Squidward. Put her there.

- [weakly] Hooray.

[dramatic music]

Whoa! Ha!

Ooh! Hey! Aah!

Aah! Ooh! Hey! Aah!

Uh-oh!

[yelps]

- [gasps] Huh?

[growls]

What in the name of all that's salty are you doing?

You're wasting expensive lumber-er-er-er.

- We're trying to build the ship's frame, Mr. Krabs.

- Pfft.

Building the frame?

They give you one all ready to go.

- Ooh!

- Take a gander, boy-o.

- Ooh--

[gags]

I'm shipshape, Mr. Krabs.

- Now get back to work. The tide's going out.

- [groans]

- [sighs]

[orchestral music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, a stubborn one, eh?

- [grunts]

[sighs] Mm-hmm.

♪ ♪

- Hmm...

[strains]

- Hmm? Huh?

[yelps]

- [panting]

- [groans]

Huh--whoa!

♪ ♪

[groans]

[growls]

♪ ♪

Huh? [strains]

♪ ♪

[moans] - Squidward!

- [groans]

- Did you see an anchor?

I think I dropped one.

- Why don't we switch places?

You work down here and I'll work up there.

[sighs] Much safer.

Never work below an idiot.

- Oops! Look out above!

- Above?

[grunts]

That's it!

♪ ♪

- Huh--whoa!

Oh, hi, Squidward. - [growls]

- Have you seen a safe up here? I think I dropped it.

- [yelps]

[growls]

From now on, you're working next to me

where I can keep an eye on you.

- Aw, that's so sweet, Squidward.

- [groans]

[explosion]

- Wow.

Mr. Krabs, your ship is finished!

- We use the term "ship" very loosely.

[gull cries]

- [groans]

[foghorn blows]

Hmm, she's a little off the beam.

Hmm...

Hmm, I know!

All she needs is a nice, shiny coat of paint.

[grunts]

♪ ♪

The S.S. Sea-cret Formula is ready to set sail...

as soon as you two drag her into the lagoon.

[both strain]

- Mush!

♪ ♪

both: Huh?

♪ ♪

[bell dings]

- [hums]

- [gasping]

Well, at least this weekend isn't a total waste.

- Not so fast, Mr. Squidward.

You still have work to do.

- Huh? Work?

♪ ♪

[bell dings]

- Welcome to the grand opening

of the Krusty Krab of the high seas...

and even higher prices.

[laughs]

- Huh! Forget it!

I am not moving from this spot.

- No problem.

- Huh?

♪ ♪

- How exciting, Squidward!

I get to flip patties and be--

[gags] Seasick at the same time.

[retches]

- We're not gonna sell any food in the middle of a lagoon!

- I'd like one Krabby Patty combo with extra combo on it.

[ka-ching]

- [panting]

[bell dings]

[gags, retches]

- Your order.

- At ease, sailor.

[slurps drink] - [sighs]

- [grunts]

[screams]

♪ ♪

- [humming]

- [chuckles]

[whistle blows]

Whee!

♪ ♪

Yeah! [laughs]

Whoo!

both: Mmm!

- [grunts]

[cheering]

♪ ♪

- Whoa!

[ka-ching]

- Huh? Hmm...

I didn't know there was an island in Goo Lagoon.

[tense music]

- [laughs] - Huh?

Butt-berg, dead ahead!

- [gasps] Huh?

Everyone, hold fast! - Whoa!

[grunts]

[screams] [bell rings]

[horn blows]

- Great Neptune's nose hair!

- [screams, grunts]

- [screams, grunts] [bell rings]

- [yelps]

- [whimpers]

[scraping]

Hmm?

[strains]

Hmm...

♪ ♪

[Squidward playing "Taps"]

- One double Krabby Patty, please.

[ka-ching]

♪ ♪

[humming]

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

- [roars]

Give me all the Krabby Patties you got, kid.

Oh, I'm so hungry,

I could eat at the Chum Bucket and like it.

Boy, I'll tell you-- [retches]

- [sighs] Oh, boy.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, Gary. Who wants snackies?

Come on, Gar-bear.

I promised you a treat if you got an A on your math test.

Here, snaily, snaily, snaily.

Where are you, boy?

Gary?

Gary?

- [echoes] Meow.

- Hmm?

- [echoes] Meow.

- Uh, Gary?

[gargles]

- [hums]

Huh? - Gary?

[woman screams] - [screams]

[flushes]

- [groans]

- Meow.

- Gary?

- Meow.

Meow. Meow.

- Did that lump in my wall always meow?

- Meow.

- Gary, how'd you get in there?

And how do I get you out?

- Meow.

- Hmm...

Ah!

[groans]

There.

[strains]

[wind blows]

[groans]

Oh, no! I locked myself in!

- [sighs]

- Meow.

Meow.

- Hey!

I've been looking all over for you, little mister.

- Meow.

- Here, boy.

Whoa! - [laughs]

Thank you, kind stranger.

[laughs]

- [screams]

- [whistles]

- Meow.

Meow. - [chuckles]

- Whoa! Who are you?

- You can call me Wally C,

for in these walls, I live, you see?

[laughs]

- Well, my name be SpongeBob SquarePants

for I'm a sponge who wears square pants.

Hey, how did you get in here?

- Oh, long ago

a handyman was I till...

both: Hup, hup, hup, hup, Hup, hup, hup.

- Hey!

Me eternal confinement.

[muffled screams]

both: Hup, hup, hup, hup. Hup, hup, hup, hup.

- Ooh!

- [muffled scream]

- Is that normal?

- That's just the house settling.

[chuckles nervously]

- Sold!

- And thus me fate was forever cast

in drywall.

The end.

- Mmm!

What?

I can't believe you've been

living in the walls all this time.

Hey, maybe we can find a way out together.

- Uh-uh, there be no exit

once ye enter this restrictive realm.

- Um, don't you want to get out of here?

- Nay!

Wally no longer cares for the outside realm.

Here, feeling cramped be just a state of mind.

[laughs]

- Whoa!

[whimsical music]

♪ ♪

- Welcome to Wallhalla!

♪ ♪

How would you like a grand tour?

- Oh, we would love the grand tour.

[animals chittering]

- Welcome to me mold garden.

Hey! Me aspergillus!

Shoo! Shoo!

- Ooh, I see you're also growing raisins in your garden.

- Raisins? Oh, no.

Those are urchin droppings.

[laughs]

- [gags]

[all exclaim]

Huh?

Oh, Wally, there's a way out.

- [laughs] Nay.

That's just me magic fridge.

Oh! Ah!

[moans]

Ooh!

[slurps]

Ah.

- Magic?

- No matter how much I eat or drink,

she always provideth more.

[laughs] - [slurps]

Hey, I get Tender Tummy Kelp Juice too.

Sure tastes better from the magic fridge, though.

- There be many magical crannies in Wallhalla.

- Whoa!

- Wallhalla even has a magic medicine cabinet

where I keep--aha--

me magic nose brush.

[snorts]

[laughs]

Brush the hairs within your nose

so they don't drip upon your clothes.

- Wallhalla is amazing!

Wow, to think that right behind the wall

is a world without problems.

- Well, Wallhalla does have one problem.

A noisy neighbor.

- [gasps] No!

- Beyond these walls,

there lives a creature with squeaky shoes

who stomps around all day.

A monster who shrieks with delight at all hours.

A beast with an ear-piercing laugh

so annoying

it drove me mad!

And it sounds like this.

[imitates SpongeBob's laugh]

- [screams]

That's the most horrible thing I've ever heard.

- [sighs] Meow.

- But I'm sure glad to be safe in here with you, Wally.

- Oh, SpongeBob,

meeting ye has been the greatest day of me life.

Or is it nighttime?

I lost track years ago. [wolf howls]

What say ye to a friendship feast?

- Oh, I thought you'd never ask.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

both: To friendship!

[slurp, sigh]

To Wallhalla!

♪ ♪

- Mmm!

♪ ♪

[all sigh]

- Hmm, Wally, that was the friendliest feast I ever had.

Well, guess me and Gary better find our way back home.

- Huh? Who's Gary?

- Meow? - Huh?

Oh, you know, my pet snail, Gary.

- [purrs]

- [blows raspberry] Your pet snail?

He be my pet snail!

And his name ain't Gary.

It's "Garr-ee."

See?

- Oh, I get it.

"Garr-ee," Gary.

That's funny. [laughs]

[laugh echoing]

- That haunting laugh.

It was ye!

Ye who drove me mad!

[screams] [monkeys howl]

- Gulp. - Meow.

- I curse thee,

SpongeBob SquarePants,

and thy irritating cackle.

Now, I'm gonna

wring the water from your pores!

[both scream]

Be gone from Wallhalla!

- [screams]

- You're breaking me beautiful world!

- SpongeBob, you home?

Hmm...hmm... - [screams]

- If you don't come out right now...

- Guess not.

Well, su casa es mi casa.

♪ ♪

[both scream]

I don't believe it!

Raisins! [laughs]

[humming]

[muffled screams] - Oh, no, you don't!

- Patrick, help us! - Meow!

[both scream]

- [sighs] This show stinks.

Boo!

[all strain]

Ooh, the mail is here!

Well, this isn't for me.

I'll just return to sender.

Go down!

Oh!

Ooh, not for me cookies.

[munches loudly]

[both scream] - [growls]

- Patrick, thank goodness you're here.

- Do you mind, SpongeBob?

I'm using the bathroom.

- Oh, no. I'm through the looking glass.

Wallhalla's been destroyed.

Ye ruined me narrow, uncomfortable life!

[sobbing]

- Who's the crybaby?

- Aw, there has to be one thing from the outside world

that you miss, right?

♪ ♪

- [sniffs deeply]

Wait, is that a Krabby Patty? - Mm!

- Okay, I admit there was one thing I missed.

I've had to ration this one Krabby Patty for decades.

- Hmm, I think I have an idea.

Uh, Patrick, why are my mom's cookies floating in the toilet?

- Oh, because I forgot to flush.

[flushes]

- [humming]

[bell dings]

Order up!

Or should I say, order down!

[laughs]

- Thank ye!

[laughs]

[cash register chimes] Got any mustard?

- [screams] [laughter]

[screams]

[laughter]

- [sighs] I still hate that laugh.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪