Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪ ♪

[waves crashing]

[upbeat jazzy music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ La-da-dee, la-da-da, la-da-da ♪

- [distant screaming] - Uh-oh.

Incoming.

- Ahh!

[groaning]

- [laughs]

Plankton, you're a hot mess.

Serves ya right fer tryin' to steal me formular

for the gazillionth time.

- I'll have my revenge!

Mark my words!

- [laughs] - Aw, come on.

This isn't over!

[grunts] - Oh, hard day at work?

I know what you need.

- Ahh!

[gasps]

[sighs]

[whimpers]

[sobbing]

Oh, Karen, I'm never gonna get that Krabby Patty formula!

[sniffles, grunts]

Oops.

Mmm, not bad.

[laughter]

- Enjoy your molten face peels!

- Holy clambake!

Are Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy

about to become hero flambé cooked by Man Ray

and his criminal posse of E.V.I.L.?

- I hope so!

I love it when the villains gain the upper hand.

[laughs]

- As our heroes face certain doom,

the villains escape

to their secret underground lair!

- [laughs]

- Of course!

All I need to do is

join the criminals of E.V.I.L.!

They'll help me defeat Krabs.

- Smart thinking.

You can go as "Towel Man."

- Don't be a wisenheimer.

I can't accessorize this old rag.

I need a real costume.

♪ ♪

Eh?

- [buzzes]

Aw.

Ah!

[hisses]

- [buzzes]

- [growls]

- [snarls] - Ahh!

♪ ♪

[laughs]

- [dings]

- [groans]

Maybe a shorter cape.

♪ ♪

This must be the entrance to their secret lair.

A little dumpster dive, and I'm in.

[groans]

Ah.

[straining]

[groans] Where's the door?

Ooh?

♪ ♪

Wrong dumpster.

[sighs] Of course.

♪ ♪

Hello? [laughs]

I'm here to join the forces of E.V.I.L.!

♪ ♪

- Dude. - Huh, wha--

- Sign in and wait your turn.

- Red leather, yellow leather.

Get out of the car, fellas!

- Take all your money and put it in the bag!

- No, Mr. Bob.

I expect you to fry. [cackles]

- When the full moon rises... - I am the Strangler!

- [vocalizing] - [clears throat]

I'm the Strangler. - [growling]

- What is this yellow thing? - [babbling]

- Some kind of mold?

- To be or--line!

- [growls, grunts] Ha.

- [roars]

- We've got quite an impressive rogues gallery up there, eh?

Thank you for taking time out of your scandalous schedules

to try out for E.V.I.L.

As you all know,

we can only pick one new villain

to join Team E.V.I.L.,

so let the judging begin!

♪ ♪

Eeny, meeny, miney-- [grunts]

Nosferatu!

- [hissing]

- No way, Man Ray!

I was first!

- First to go bye-bye. [cackles]

- Huh? [screams]

[all gasp] - Be gone!

[blows]

Nosferatu, proceed.

[eerie music]

- [grunts]

[dramatic piano music]

♪ ♪

- Mime?

Mime is his evil power?

- Ahh!

- Robot Mantis!

- [mumbles]

[upbeat music]

[babbling]

[somber cello music]

[babbling]

[country violin music]

[babbling]

[mellow banjo music]

[babbling]

[upbeat kazoo music]

[panting]

Ta-da!

- How dare you!

We just had that piano tuned!

- Ahh!

- Eeny, meeny, miney-- [grunts]

Sheldon J. Plankton?

[dramatic kazoo music]

- Thanks, ma'am, but, uh, music won't be necessary.

[grunts] - Right.

So what's your supervillain power, little guy?

- Well, I'd venture to say

it would be my massive, evil intellect.

- Impressive.

So where do you see yourself in the next five years?

- Well, once I finally have the secret formula...

[crowd screaming]

The post-apocalyptic global empire

of destruction that results will be mine,

and I'll be sitting pretty on a pile of your bones!

[cackles]

- That sounds pretty villainous.

Okay, you'll move on to the test phase.

But first, you'll need a proper supervillain name.

How about "Mr. Green Bean"?

- Ooh, the "Itsy Bitsy Green Guy."

- No, too long. [bell dings]

How about "Captain Pipsqueak"?

- Yeah! - I love it!

[laughter] - That settles it.

Captain Pipsqueak!

all: Captain Pipsqueak!

- We can tweak that later, right?

[screams]

- Okay, team, let's test Captain Pipsqueak's villainy

in the real world.

[dramatic music]

Your first test is to get us lunch:

a 25-pound bucket from Weenie Hut Jr.

[cackles] - With Evil sauce.

- Extra Evil sauce. [laughs]

- Odd caper, but no problemo.

[grunts]

[bell dinging]

I need a 25-pound Weenie bucket, please,

and make it snappy!

Oh, and extra Evil sauce.

- Hey, I know that order.

You're one of those E.V.I.L. guys.

You're all banned!

- Just give me my order,

or you'll know the meaning of fear!

- [whistles] Security!

We got a small problem here.

[light music]

- Oh?

Ahh! [grunting]

[whimpering]

[all grumbling] - So boring.

- Short legs. We should've known better.

- I'm starving here!

What are the chances he gets our food?

- Slim to none, I'm guessing.

- Hello?

[grunting]

Could somebody help me with this?

[all munching]

Oh, and extra Evil sauce.

- Wicked. - Awesome.

- A Weenie toast to Captain Pipsqueak.

all: Pip pip hooray!

- [groaning]

- Okay, Cap,

take this bag of snail droppings

and leave it on that doorstep over there.

It's the house of the Foot.

He's a superhero do-gooder who deserves our worst.

Go!

- [giggling]

♪ ♪

[screams]

[whimpering]

[laughter]

Yes. [cackles]

I added a little

of my own special Chum Mix to the bag.

- Captain Pipsqueak, welcome to E.V.I.L.,

which stands for...

"Every Villain Is Lemons."

- Yeah! - Whoo!

- So Captain Pipsqueak, what's next?

[cackles]

- Follow me to world domination!

[cackles]

♪ ♪

- Huh? - [laughs]

- [gasps] Mr. Krabs!

- What now, boy? - [groans]

- Shiver me's lumbers!

[upbeat jazzy music]

- [cackling]

- Yah! [laughs]

- [cackling]

- Heh, heh.

[humming]

[customers gasping]

- [laughs]

- You might as well give us the secret formula now, Krabs.

I'm the new mastermind of E.V.I.L.

- [laughs]

What, you nerds going to a comic convention?

- Ooh, that is a nice costume, Plankton.

[laughs]

- The name is Captain Pipsqueak to you.

Get 'em! - [laughs]

- Whoa, whoa! - [gasps]

[muffled] - Dirty Bubble?

But I just did my laundry.

- Thieves!

Keep yer filthy, rotten mitts

offa me formular.

- [laughs]

[grunting]

- [laughs] Yes.

Yes!

- [cackles]

Huh?

This isn't the formula for world domination.

It's a recipe for a sandwich!

How does that work?

- Uh, well, with that, I can put this guy...

- [growls] - Outta business.

- Mmm, why would we ever wanna do that?

These Krabby Patties taste great!

- Yeah, mmm.

- [spits] - Mmm.

- [chewing] - Mmm.

- Mmm. - Mmm.

- Here you go, boss. Sorry about that.

Keep up the good work.

I can't believe this lousy pipsqueak...

- Huh? - Wasted our time!

- Some criminal genius he is. - Right?

"Massive evil intellect," my eye.

- Nyah! - Holy habanero!

- Is Plankton forever doomed

to be bound by a bottle?

- Ahh! - Grounded in glass?

No! - Ahh, ahh!

- Enveloped by extra Evil sauce!

[laughter]

- No outside condiments!

- [groans]

[upbeat music]

Well, this stinks.

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Ah, what a beautiful morning.

Time to check the mail

and see who loves you, Squidward.

[sighs]

I wonder if I can return to sender.

[both grunt]

♪ ♪

both: Good morning, Squidward.

- Well, I'm going back to bed now.

Forever.

Gah!

[both giggling]

- Aren't you gonna open your mail?

- Gimme that!

It looks like you already did.

Hmm. [celebratory fanfare]

I won something?

But I didn't enter any contest.

- It's an all-expenses-paid trip

to see beautiful Bora Bora Bottom.

We entered it for you, and only 6,000 times too.

- Wow.

Me, a winner,

at a tropical resort.

Let's see, "The winning family will board

at Bikini Bottom Airport and the"--

Wait a minute. [shattering]

"Winning family"?

- Oh, did we forget to mention...

[licking]

- Oh, no.

I cannot believe

I let you bottom-feeders talk me into this.

- Oh, it's the least we could do for a friend like you.

I mean, for a dad like you.

[giggling]

both: Daddy!

- Will you morons--I mean, children, please!

- Next.

- Ha.

- [gasps] Attention, passengers.

Meet Underwater Air's big contest winner,

Squidward Tentacles and his adorable family.

- Huh, huh. [cheers and applause]

Huh? - Come on, Dad.

Let's get a picture of you and the kids

for our in-flight magazine.

- [groans]

- [sobs]

- Okay, everybody, say, "I love my family."

- I'd rather not. - [wailing]

- Say it!

both: I love my family.

[shutter clicks] - [squeals]

- [sighs] Hmm.

♪ ♪

- [grunts]

- [growls] - [straining]

I think you're in my seat, Pop.

- [straining, sighs]

Ooh! - And I'll take the aisle.

[laughs] both: ♪ Daddy's in the middle ♪

- Oh, no.

I am not suffering a whole flight

between you two barnacle brains.

At least give me the aisle.

- Excuse me, sir.

Are you in your assigned seat?

[knuckles cracking]

- [gulps] Um...

[laughs]

- [growls]

- Okay, everybody, please fasten your seat belts

by adjusting this easy-to-pull strap.

- Make sure it's nice and tight.

- Wahh!

- And keep your seat

in the upright position.

Or else.

- Okay.

- Mm-hmm.

[babbling]

These look good.

- [grunting] Ooh!

[gasps]

♪ ♪

- Hey, Patrick, wanna switch so I can look out the window?

- Okay. Oh, but hurry.

- [straining]

[groaning]

- [grumbling]

♪ ♪

[growls]

- Uh--attention all passengers,

this is, uh, your captain speaking.

Please keep your, uh, seat belts fastened

as we, uh, gain altitude.

[both babbling]

- Whoa. - [laughs]

- Whoa!

[engine roaring]

[chime]

- Enjoy your flight.

You may now roam about the, uh, cabin.

- Hear that, Squidward?

You can take your seat belt off now.

- Wait! Untie me!

[both babbling]

- Ow! - [grunts] Oh!

- Oh, boy, a feed bag!

[inhales]

♪ ♪

[air hissing] - Ow!

- Hey! [passengers groaning]

- [grumbling] - [snoring]

- [sobbing]

- Keep it down, will ya?

I'm tryin' to sleep!

- Ahh!

[sighs]

- Ugh, I dreamed I was in the ocean,

and now I gotta pee!

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

Huh?

Uh, huh?

Uh--ah! - Can I help you

with something?

- Yeah, I gotta use a bathroom!

[grunts] - Ahh!

- Rude. I was here first.

- Wah!

Oh!

[humming]

- Hey, buddy, what happened to the other flight attendant?

- She's in the bathroom.

- Ahh! - See?

- Whoa!

- Ooh.

- Ahh!

Oh.

[sighs]

- [straining]

[growls] Huh?

The flight attendants will save me.

[strains]

Just need to hit that call button.

[grunts] [button chimes]

[sighs]

- Good evening, Mr. Sir!

Fresh coffee?

- What?

Patrick, where are the real flight attendants?

- They've been in the bathroom for a while.

I think they had too much coffee.

Now how about that coffee?

- No, I don't want-- ahh!

[gurgling]

- Wow, Squidward, you really like coffee!

Whoa!

[intercom chimes] - Uh, folks.

Sorry about that turbulence.

- [gasps]

Wow, Patrick.

They made you a flight attendant?

- Yeah-huh. Hey, you wanna be one too?

- [gasps] Yeah.

♪ ♪

Ah.

[both laugh]

- [grumbling]

- [gasps] Our apologies, sir.

Let's get you dried off.

[air whooshing]

- [groaning]

Whoa!

[crash]

[groaning]

[spluttering]

Huh? I'm free.

I'm free!

[gasps] - Snack time!

[babbling]

- [screams]

- Whee!

- Oh, no.

- Whoa!

- [groans]

That's it!

I am filing a complaint with the captain.

Roll me to the front of the plane.

♪ ♪

[grumbling]

[grunting]

- Huh?

- [grumbling]

- Are you enjoying your flight?

- No, I am not.

These two have been nothing but trouble since we took off.

And now they've replaced the flight attendants.

- Uh, what did they do with them?

- I just opened the bathroom door, Captain.

Like this.

- Oh! [both groaning]

both: Ahh.

Ahh!

Oh.

[groaning]

- Huh?

There's no one flying the plane!

Ahh! [alarm bells blare]

Ahh!

[screams]

What are we gonna do?

- Oh, we're gonna crash.

- Uh, uh, I guess I can figure this out.

Yeah, how hard could it be?

[panel beeping rapidly]

- Squidward, trust your instincts.

- I suppose, uh...

[beeps]

[all screaming]

[dramatic music]

- Look, Squidward, we're almost there!

Now all you gotta do is land this thing!

- And not kill everyone.

both: Squidward, Squidward, Squidward!

- [screaming] [alarm beeping]

[all screaming] - Squidward!

[screaming]

♪ ♪

both: Squidward, Squidward! - [groaning]

♪ ♪

[screaming]

♪ ♪

- Ahh!

- [giggles]

- Hmm?

[both cheer]

- Yay, Squidward!

- Huh? Bora Bora Bottom!

Hmm.

[clears throat]

Uh, attention, passengers,

this is your new captain speaking.

We have arrived at beautiful Bora Bora Bottom.

Ha--huh? [engine whirring]

♪ ♪

Wait a minute!

I thought I stopped this thing!

- [laughs] Squidward, look!

It was on auto-pilot the whole time.

- Yay, Squidward!

You did nothing!

[both laugh] - No, no!

I need to get off this plane and enjoy the resort!

- Now why would you wanna do that?

[laughs]

You won a trip to see Bora Bora Bottom,

not stay there, silly.

- And there it goes.

- Huh?

- [sighs] Life is funny, isn't it?

♪ ♪

[chimes]

- Ahh!

[screaming]

Ow!

- This is your flight attendant speaking.

Looks like we're experiencing some headwinds,

and the present estimate for our return flight

to Bikini Bottom is 24 hours!

[both laugh]

- No!

[light music]

♪ ♪