Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

kids: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

kids: Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪ ♪

[waves crashing]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[explosion]

[screaming]

- [laughs]

- Huh?

- All right, you braindead barnacles,

drop those patties.

Your sandwiches are coming with me!

- Aww, so cute. - Huh?

- I just want to pinch his face.

- [grunts] - Oh.

Look at this precious, little sweetie.

Those adorable cheeks. Oh, that sparkly eye.

- No! - That adorable tuchus.

- Aww. - Aww.

- Stop! Get away!

- Aww! - Aww.

- I hate this town!

[sobbing]

- [humming melody] Ah!

- Karen! Ow!

- Oh, let me guess, another failure?

- Of course, another failure!

How am I supposed to steal the Krabby Patty formula

when everybody thinks I'm adorable?

Cute is no way to inspire fear. Huh?

Unless...

yes, oh, that's it!

[grunts] I'll teach the fools

of this town that cute can be horrific.

♪ ♪

There, my evil masterwork is complete.

- An egg?

I already had breakfast, Sheldon.

- It's not the egg. It's what's inside.

A robot so diabolical, so devious,

so adorable when people see it, they'll have to say,

"Aww."

But that sound

will transform it into a terrifying monster

that will eat them!

[dramatic music]

Behold!

Revenge-bot model QT-Pi. - [quacks]

- Yes.

- Did you say it was going to eat people?

- That's right!

Its victims will be trapped in its quantum stomach prison

to...think about what they've done?

- Well, have fun with your little toy.

Just don't forget to take out the trash.

- Aww.

Ooh.

♪ ♪

- [roars]

- [whimpers] Oh, boy.

[screams]

Oh! Ugh.

It works! It...huh?

Barnacles.

- [roars]

[quacks]

- I'm ready! I'm ready!

I'm ready! I'm ready!

I'm ready! Whoa.

Oh.

- Excellent!

That moron won't be able to stop aww-ing at my robot.

Go, robot. Eat him!

Eat him good, baby! [laughs]

- [quacks]

- Hm, huh?

Aww.

- Here it comes.

- Cute, little robot like you

shouldn't be out here all alone.

What's your name? QT-Pi?

That's adorable! Come on.

I'll take care of you until we find your owner.

- Yes, that's right.

Take us right into my enemy's lair.

- This is where I work. These are our customers.

And this is Squidward, my best friend.

- Huh? Huh?

That is a filthy lie!

- Ooh, speaking of filthy, I better wash

these dirty hands before I get cooking.

Squidward, be a dear and keep an eye on him for me,

will you? - [grumbles]

Huh? - [quacks]

- Say, you are pretty cute. - Did you say cute?

- Um, uh... - Oh, yeah.

He's so cute. - Okay, get back, you animals!

He needs room to be precious.

- [quacks]

[all inhale deeply]

[together] Aww.

- [screams]

- [roaring]

[people screaming]

- [grunts]

Ah! - Whoa!

- Hey!

Those don't sound like "I'm spending money" screams!

Wha--?

- [whirring]

[roars] - Whoa, no!

[people screaming]

- Proper drying of the hands

is every bit as important as the--wha--hey.

- [quacks] - Huh.

Guess we closed early today. Oh, boy.

Now I have more time to help my new friend QT-Pi.

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

- Whoa! Oh.

Huh?

What in the name of Neptune is going on here?

- [grunts]

Oh, yeah, what is happening here?

- Plankton, this has you written all over it.

- How dare you?

Huh? [chuckles]

How'd that get on there?

[grunts] Okay, it was me.

To teach you all a lesson, I made a robot

that eats people who say, "aww."

So sue me.

- Oh, I don't want to sue you, Plankton.

I want to get out of your infernal contraption!

- Well, the only way out is the emergency evacuation uvula,

which is up there. - Huh?

All right, you heard the pipsqueak!

Everyone form up! Let's yank that "uvuler"!

[all grunting]

- [screams] - Oh.

- Aw.

- Ow. - Oh.

- Looks like we're stuck here until this dumb robot

eats more people.

[all sigh and grumble]

- The veterinarian can help me find your owner.

You're a robot, so you must be chipped.

[laughs]

- Hmm.

Normally I work with animals, not machines,

but how different can they be? [chuckles]

Let's just take a listen.

- Say, "Aww!" - Get eaten!

- Say, "Aww!" - [gasps]

Oh, my.

Okay then, say "aww."

- Aww.

[roars] - [whimpers]

[screams]

- [roars]

- Aww.

No, wait, I meant to say... [screaming]

- [roaring]

- [screaming]

So cute. [screaming]

- Huh, what? Hey, you need to buy a ticket!

Huh? Aww.

[screams]

- [quacking]

- [screaming]

- Aww. - Aww.

[all screaming]

- [inhaling powerfully]

[whirs and sniffs]

[roars]

[together] Ah!

Whoo!

[all screaming]

- [roars]

[people screaming]

- Ooh, perfect, I'll escape through there.

Oy.

A dead end ride?

That doesn't seem very glove themed.

- [quacks] - Huh?

Ay!

[ominous music]

Ah, QT-Pi, please don't eat me!

[chanting together] Eat him! Eat him!

- I--ooh, I know.

I'll try the soothing power of music.

♪ Oh ♪

[string plunks]

Aw, rats.

- [roars]

- [screaming]

- Yay, you did it, boy! - Whoo-hoo!

- A surprise party for me?

- [grunts] This isn't a party, you boob.

- Well, why did everyone cheer when I showed up?

- Because with you, we can finally reach

the emergency escape "uvuler."

All right, let's try it again, people!

[all grunting]

- [straining]

Oh, oh!

Whoa, whoa. - What's going on?

- Oh, oh, whoa.

Got it!

- [hissing and whirring]

[all scream]

- Yeah! - Aha!

- [screams] - Ooh.

We did it! We escaped!

- And I got us into Glove World for free.

You're welcome.

- Last one on the bumper gloves is a rotten egg!

- Yeah! - Whoo-hoo!

- Yeah!

- [quacks sadly]

- Poor QT-Pi.

That whole eating everyone thing

didn't work out for you. Hm?

I think I know how you could use your powers for good.

- [quacks]

- Step right up and try our latest glove-tastic ride!

Experience the aww-pocalypse at the Glove Launch.

- [blows raspberry] Aww.

[screams]

[screams] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Wha--wha--wha--wha--wha-- whoa.

Whoa! All right!

Yeah, yeah, yeah! - Yeah!

- What do you mean I'm too short to ride this ride?

I built this! - Sorry, buddy.

Rules is rules,

even for an adorable little guy like you.

- Real cute.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [whistling melody]

[grunts] Special delivery!

- Ooh, my new rock is finally here!

Hold on, polka dots?

I ordered plaid.

You'll have to take it back, Mr. Mailman.

[bones cracking] - Back?

- Mr. Mailman? - My back.

- You okay, buddy? - Gotta deliver mail.

- You are in no shape to deliver anything, fella.

Just relax and crash at my place.

I'll deliver your mail for you today.

Oops, almost forgot my mail bag.

Oops, almost forgot my mailman hat.

[humming melody] All righty.

Let's see where my first delivery is.

[straining]

Oh, I can't read this!

[knocks]

- Hey, Patrick, I thought that sounded like your head.

- SpongeBob, do you know where this

Spon-gee-Boob

Squir-pa-Nants lives?

- Never heard of him. - Oh, well, return to sender.

- Hey, what's with the new threads?

- I'm a mailman now! [laughs]

- Wow!

I've always wanted to be a mailman.

It's like getting to be Santa every day,

except Sundays.

- Sorry, SpongeBob, but I'm the mailman now.

- Oh, okay.

- But you can be my postal pal!

- Whee! Oh, ah!

- Let's get mailing.

♪ ♪

Postal pal, you may ring the doorbell.

- [gasps]

Yes, sir, Mr. Mailman, sir.

Oh, I better warm up the old bell ringer.

Up, down, up, down. Twist right, twist left.

And polish the nail.

[exhales]

[doorbell rings]

- Mail!

- They let a moron like you deliver the mail?

- Oh, you'd be surprised what they let morons do.

- [gasps] It's here!

It's here! [laughs]

- What's wrong with Squidward's face?

- [laughing]

- I think he's smiling.

- I finally got it, my turbo clarinet.

[engine rumbles]

[inhales deeply]

[horn toots] - Whoa!

[both screaming]

- Worth every penny.

[together] Oh, ooh, oh, oh.

Oh, good, our next stop.

- A summons for jury duty. Lucky.

- Special delivery.

- Great job, Mr. Mailman. - Huh?

- Oops.

Yep.

Ugh.

Must be a defective mail slot.

Aha.

That ought to do it.

Maybe I'll just try the doorbell.

[doorbell rings]

- Can I help you?

[together] Special delivery.

- I don't want it!

- Maybe we should just move on to the next house.

- Pfft, no.

I am a mailman.

Like the postal oath says,

neither bunions or onions nor ditches or dangers

will stop me from giving stuff to strangers.

- [applauds]

[soft orchestral music]

[doorbell rings]

- Ah! - Special delivery!

- Special un-delivery! - [screams]

Oof.

Being a mailman isn't like being Santa Claus at all.

- [gasps]

[jingle bells ringing]

[straining]

- Ho, ho, ho! Oh!

Ooh!

Hey, we're beard bros. - [growls]

- Oh, uh, merry Fishmas!

- It's July! - Just take a letter.

- I don't want it! - Neither bunions or onions!

[upbeat music]

[screams] Huh, ooh.

Ah. [screams]

Take your mail! [grunts]

- Hey! - [grunting]

I'll zip your code so hard!

- Ah! En garde!

- En lard!

- [screaming] - [screaming]

- Ho, ha! - I'm gonna stamp you!

Hi, ha! - Ha!

- I'll send you butt express!

- [screams]

- [grunts] Huh?

You can't run from your civic duties!

[screaming] - [screaming]

Oh. - Ha!

Get it, slap back, no take backs!

- [sighs]

[both chuckling]

- Not bad.

- This summons is for Bubble Bass,

you nincompoops!

- Hm. - Hm.

[bell rings and clatters]

- Coming. - Ah!

- Uh! - Don't leave!

Almost there.

- Ha! - Ha!

- Oh, boy, I never get visitors.

- Special delivery for one special, old man.

- Uh, uh, mm...

I can't find any mail for him. - Oh, I never get any mail.

- [sobbing] That's so sad.

Let's give him some of the other mail, huh?

I found a letter for you, Old Man Walker.

- [beeping]

I've been drafted! Oh, boy!

- Wow, if one letter made him this happy,

I bet all of the mail will make him explode with joy.

- [laughs]

- Sure, wow, all of this for me?

[explosion]

[laughter]

- What's next, Postman Patrick?

- [gulps] Mm-mm.

[sighs] We're all out of mail.

[engine rumbles]

Let's ask that ice cream truck if it knows

where to find some mail. - That's no ice cream truck.

It's a mail truck. - Really?

I thought all trucks were girls.

[laughter]

[tires squeal]

- Wow, we hit the postal jackpot!

- Cool. [engine rumbles]

- Huh? Hey!

Those weirdos stole my truck! [grunts]

[sirens blaring]

Follow those postal pilferers!

- A special delivery.

- Special delivery for Fred!

- Mwah. - Huh?

[growls] Who's Carol?

- [chuckles]

- This one's for you, Penny!

- [screaming]

Huh? Oh, great.

The raft I ordered has finally arrived.

[screaming]

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[metal clanks] - Huh?

Pirates!

- Wha--? - Wha--?

[both growling]

- Why are these pirates dressed like mail people?

- They want to steal our mail! - Repel the boarders!

- Repelling boarders, sir!

- Ugh! - Harold!

No!

- I'm shipping these COD.

Crash on delivery.

[upbeat music]

- Eeh, oh. And here comes some air mail.

[retches]

- [screaming]

- Huh?

Another jury summons for Bubble Bass.

- Special delivery!

- Oh, all we have left is junk mail!

- Don't worry.

They'll never find us in this post office.

♪ ♪

- [sighs] [doorbell rings]

- Here's today's mail, warden.

[together] Special delivery.

[both chuckle]