All language subtitles for SpongeBob.SquarePants.S13E14.Pat.Hearts.Squid.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-LAZY_track3_[eng]
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1
00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:04,433
[whimsical music]
2
00:00:04,502 --> 00:00:10,709
♪ ♪
3
00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:13,296
[strange gurgling]
4
00:00:13,364 --> 00:00:15,951
[creature groaning, growling]
5
00:00:16,020 --> 00:00:18,537
[hollering]
6
00:00:18,606 --> 00:00:21,433
- Be quiet down there
or I'm calling the cops!
7
00:00:21,502 --> 00:00:23,985
[both grunt]
both: What?
8
00:00:24,054 --> 00:00:28,227
- [sighs]
I said, be quiet
9
00:00:28,296 --> 00:00:31,709
or I'm calling the--
[babbling]
10
00:00:31,778 --> 00:00:33,813
[screaming]
11
00:00:33,882 --> 00:00:35,847
[loud crash]
12
00:00:35,916 --> 00:00:38,640
[groaning]
13
00:00:38,709 --> 00:00:41,709
Oh, my house.
14
00:00:41,778 --> 00:00:44,433
My shelter!
My life!
15
00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:46,813
both: My, my, my.
16
00:00:46,882 --> 00:00:48,089
- [grunts]
[both exclaim]
17
00:00:48,158 --> 00:00:50,158
- So, who you gonna stay with
18
00:00:50,227 --> 00:00:51,675
till you find
a new house, Squidward?
19
00:00:51,744 --> 00:00:53,399
Me or Patrick?
20
00:00:53,468 --> 00:00:56,433
- I wouldn't stay
with either of you two idiots
21
00:00:56,502 --> 00:00:59,571
if the entire ocean was on fire
22
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:02,261
and you were the only ones
with water.
23
00:01:02,330 --> 00:01:03,951
- So there's a chance!
- Huh?
24
00:01:04,020 --> 00:01:06,916
[growls]
[angry muttering]
25
00:01:06,985 --> 00:01:08,847
[dramatic music]
26
00:01:08,916 --> 00:01:10,640
[grunts]
27
00:01:10,709 --> 00:01:13,813
[goofy babbling]
28
00:01:13,882 --> 00:01:15,054
[lonesome western music]
29
00:01:15,123 --> 00:01:17,744
[water swishing]
30
00:01:17,813 --> 00:01:20,916
[sighs]
Roughing it ain't so rough.
31
00:01:20,985 --> 00:01:22,744
[grunts]
32
00:01:22,813 --> 00:01:25,296
[ominous music]
33
00:01:25,364 --> 00:01:26,640
[thunder crashing]
34
00:01:26,709 --> 00:01:27,985
Huh?
35
00:01:28,054 --> 00:01:30,847
Too rough!
[sighs]
36
00:01:30,916 --> 00:01:34,951
Oh, I guess it's Patrick.
37
00:01:35,020 --> 00:01:37,985
[goofy grunting]
38
00:01:38,054 --> 00:01:40,089
[lighthearted music]
39
00:01:40,158 --> 00:01:42,158
- [grunts]
- [hollers]
40
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:44,399
- [grunts]
Identify myself!
41
00:01:44,468 --> 00:01:48,227
- [grunts]Patrick?
42
00:01:48,296 --> 00:01:51,468
- That is correct.
May I ask who's calling?
43
00:01:51,537 --> 00:01:53,882
Oh, hi, Squidward!
- [grunts]
44
00:01:53,951 --> 00:01:55,227
- [babbles]
45
00:01:55,296 --> 00:01:57,916
- So, um, I've decided
to take you up
46
00:01:57,985 --> 00:02:00,433
on your generous invitation.
47
00:02:00,502 --> 00:02:02,744
- What about
my generator's vitamin?
48
00:02:02,813 --> 00:02:03,882
- Oh, good grief.
49
00:02:03,951 --> 00:02:05,951
I'm staying with you,
you moron!
50
00:02:06,020 --> 00:02:08,951
Um, that is, if you'll have me.
51
00:02:09,020 --> 00:02:10,916
- Oh, boy!
52
00:02:10,985 --> 00:02:15,502
Squidward's staying over!
Squidward's staying over!
53
00:02:15,571 --> 00:02:17,606
Sibley shining smine-mine!
- [grunting]
54
00:02:17,675 --> 00:02:19,433
[laughing, babbling]
- [grunting]
55
00:02:19,502 --> 00:02:23,227
- Leedle-leedle-leedle-leedle!
- [sighs]
56
00:02:23,296 --> 00:02:26,675
- You can take my bed,
Squiddy, old buddy.
57
00:02:26,744 --> 00:02:31,158
- Well, um, maybe it won't be
so bad staying here after all.
58
00:02:31,227 --> 00:02:35,364
- Sleep tight,
don't let the sand mites bite.
59
00:02:35,433 --> 00:02:38,916
But if they do, just let me
know and I'll smash 'em!
60
00:02:38,985 --> 00:02:40,778
- [sighs]
Um...
61
00:02:40,847 --> 00:02:42,916
[sniffs]
Huh.
62
00:02:42,985 --> 00:02:45,399
♪ ♪
63
00:02:45,468 --> 00:02:47,744
[slurps]
64
00:02:47,813 --> 00:02:50,158
Uh-huh.
[sighs]
65
00:02:50,227 --> 00:02:52,778
♪ ♪
66
00:02:52,847 --> 00:02:55,744
Hmm.
[snoring]
67
00:02:55,813 --> 00:02:57,916
♪ ♪
68
00:02:57,985 --> 00:02:59,330
[stammers]
What?
69
00:02:59,399 --> 00:03:01,985
Oh, a leaky rock?
70
00:03:02,054 --> 00:03:05,054
- [snoring]
71
00:03:05,123 --> 00:03:06,640
♪ ♪
72
00:03:06,709 --> 00:03:07,985
[air whistling]
73
00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:11,468
- Oh, you titanic twit,
get down from there!
74
00:03:11,537 --> 00:03:13,744
- [gasps] I'll smash them
for you, Squidward!
75
00:03:13,813 --> 00:03:16,537
[hollers]
76
00:03:16,606 --> 00:03:19,020
Squidward?
Where are you?
77
00:03:19,089 --> 00:03:21,571
- In your navel.
78
00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:23,675
- [grunting]
- [gasps]
79
00:03:23,744 --> 00:03:27,364
- [laughs]
That tickles.
80
00:03:27,433 --> 00:03:29,364
[rooster crows]
81
00:03:29,433 --> 00:03:32,054
- [grunts, yawns]
82
00:03:32,123 --> 00:03:34,882
Hmm?
What is this place?
83
00:03:34,951 --> 00:03:36,502
[exclaims, sniffs]
84
00:03:36,571 --> 00:03:37,985
[gasps]
Huh?
85
00:03:38,054 --> 00:03:39,985
[sniffing, babbling]
86
00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:42,606
Squidward, did you do all this?
87
00:03:42,675 --> 00:03:44,571
- Well, I figured
if I have to stay here,
88
00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,778
I might as well
make it livable.
89
00:03:46,847 --> 00:03:48,606
Lard cake?
90
00:03:48,675 --> 00:03:52,123
- If you make me lard cakes
every morning, Squiddy,
91
00:03:52,192 --> 00:03:55,882
you can do anything you want.
92
00:03:55,951 --> 00:03:57,709
[groans]
- Ah-ah-ah-ah.
93
00:03:57,778 --> 00:04:01,847
The etiquette spoon says,
"Eat like a gentleman."
94
00:04:01,916 --> 00:04:05,709
- Ah, a gentleman.
95
00:04:05,778 --> 00:04:08,158
[grunts, sighs]
96
00:04:08,227 --> 00:04:10,330
- Watch me, idiot.
97
00:04:10,399 --> 00:04:13,399
A gentleman eats like this.
98
00:04:13,468 --> 00:04:15,882
[goofy exclamations]
99
00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:17,778
- [goofy exclamations]
100
00:04:17,847 --> 00:04:21,744
- Holy halibut,
can he actually be taught?
101
00:04:21,813 --> 00:04:23,261
I can mold him.
102
00:04:23,330 --> 00:04:25,985
I can squeeze this lump of clay
103
00:04:26,054 --> 00:04:28,433
into a cultured sophisticate.
104
00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:32,261
I will make you
the most tolerable roommate
105
00:04:32,330 --> 00:04:34,089
of all time!
106
00:04:34,158 --> 00:04:38,158
You'll be my
"roommate-sterpiece!"
107
00:04:38,227 --> 00:04:42,330
- Oh, more lard cakes, please!
108
00:04:42,399 --> 00:04:44,261
- [humming]
109
00:04:44,330 --> 00:04:45,675
[grunts]
110
00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:49,192
- [grunts]
- [exclaims]
111
00:04:49,261 --> 00:04:51,709
- [chuckles]
112
00:04:51,778 --> 00:04:52,951
♪ ♪
113
00:04:53,020 --> 00:04:54,468
- [sighs]
- Huh?
114
00:04:54,537 --> 00:04:56,606
- Oh!
- [grunts]
115
00:04:56,675 --> 00:05:00,709
[laughs]
- [exclaims]
116
00:05:00,778 --> 00:05:03,606
[playing scales]
117
00:05:03,675 --> 00:05:06,468
- [gasps]
[playing discordant scales]
118
00:05:06,537 --> 00:05:08,640
[playing mellow tune]
119
00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:10,330
[gasps]
120
00:05:10,399 --> 00:05:11,468
[plays discordant note]
121
00:05:11,537 --> 00:05:14,227
Oh![grunts]
122
00:05:14,296 --> 00:05:17,227
[lighthearted music]
123
00:05:17,296 --> 00:05:18,847
- Hmm.
124
00:05:18,916 --> 00:05:21,261
[gasps]
Aha!
125
00:05:21,330 --> 00:05:23,537
[grunts]
126
00:05:23,606 --> 00:05:25,433
[blows kiss, sighs]
127
00:05:25,502 --> 00:05:27,399
- [blows kiss]
- [chuckles]
128
00:05:27,468 --> 00:05:31,261
[both giggling]
129
00:05:31,330 --> 00:05:32,951
[dramatic music]
130
00:05:33,020 --> 00:05:35,330
[all chattering]
131
00:05:35,399 --> 00:05:36,951
[both playing rousing tune]
132
00:05:37,020 --> 00:05:38,192
- Culture lovers,
133
00:05:38,261 --> 00:05:42,640
welcome to the Classy Kiosk!
134
00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:44,916
- I am Squid-tacular,
135
00:05:44,985 --> 00:05:48,847
and this is my protégé,
Patrick Panache.
136
00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:50,985
- He taught me everything
I blow!
137
00:05:51,054 --> 00:05:53,296
[plays discordant note]
138
00:05:53,364 --> 00:05:56,227
- And now, get ready to...
139
00:05:56,296 --> 00:05:58,882
both: Feel the art!
140
00:05:58,951 --> 00:06:00,709
[both grunt]
141
00:06:00,778 --> 00:06:03,330
- [sighs]
[grunting]
142
00:06:03,399 --> 00:06:06,227
Yes...
[muttering inaudibly]
143
00:06:06,296 --> 00:06:08,123
♪ ♪
144
00:06:08,192 --> 00:06:10,054
[crowd booing]
145
00:06:10,123 --> 00:06:12,296
- [babbling]
[all gasp]
146
00:06:12,364 --> 00:06:15,261
[all chattering, cheering]
147
00:06:15,330 --> 00:06:17,192
♪ ♪
148
00:06:17,261 --> 00:06:18,571
- What?
149
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,296
Hey, watch me, everyone!
150
00:06:20,364 --> 00:06:23,089
I will now bedazzle
your dazzlers
151
00:06:23,158 --> 00:06:26,985
with interpretative dance!
152
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:30,020
[babbling]
153
00:06:30,089 --> 00:06:32,882
[crowd grumbling]
154
00:06:32,951 --> 00:06:36,020
[lighthearted jazzy music]
155
00:06:36,089 --> 00:06:37,364
♪ ♪
156
00:06:37,433 --> 00:06:40,433
[grunts]
- My turn!
157
00:06:40,502 --> 00:06:43,502
[babbling]
158
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,640
[lively orchestral music]
159
00:06:45,709 --> 00:06:47,433
[all gasp, cheering]
160
00:06:47,502 --> 00:06:48,985
- What the--
161
00:06:49,054 --> 00:06:51,261
- Who knew that Patrick
could dance like an angel?
162
00:06:51,330 --> 00:06:54,296
[laughs]
Bravo, bravo!
163
00:06:54,364 --> 00:06:55,744
- Oh, Mr. Krabs,
you dropped this.
164
00:06:55,813 --> 00:06:58,433
- Oop, thanks.[laughs]
165
00:06:58,502 --> 00:07:01,330
- Patrick Panache!
Patrick Panache!
166
00:07:01,399 --> 00:07:04,192
- You make a better Squidward
than Squidward does.
167
00:07:04,261 --> 00:07:05,985
[laughs]
168
00:07:06,054 --> 00:07:07,537
- [imitating Squidward]
I do?
169
00:07:07,606 --> 00:07:10,227
- Huh?
- [laughs]
170
00:07:10,296 --> 00:07:13,399
[sighs]
[laughter]
171
00:07:13,468 --> 00:07:14,916
- Hey, stop making
those noises!
172
00:07:14,985 --> 00:07:18,296
Those are my noises![sighs]
173
00:07:18,364 --> 00:07:20,399
- [sighs]
- Huh?
174
00:07:20,468 --> 00:07:22,192
- [laughs]
- [growls]
175
00:07:22,261 --> 00:07:23,709
- [laughs]
- [growls]
176
00:07:23,778 --> 00:07:25,192
- [laughs]
- Hey-hey!
177
00:07:25,261 --> 00:07:28,640
Patrick is the best Squidward!
all: Huzzah!
178
00:07:28,709 --> 00:07:31,296
[all cheering]
179
00:07:31,364 --> 00:07:33,261
- So, Squidward,
what do you think
180
00:07:33,330 --> 00:07:35,227
of your new protégé, huh?
181
00:07:35,296 --> 00:07:39,261
- New protégé...
[growling]
182
00:07:39,330 --> 00:07:41,468
He stinks!
183
00:07:41,537 --> 00:07:43,571
And he's not a better me!
184
00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:46,123
He's an imposter.
- Hmm.
185
00:07:46,192 --> 00:07:48,709
Well, if Patrick makes
a better Squidward,
186
00:07:48,778 --> 00:07:50,537
maybe you'd make
a better Patrick.
187
00:07:50,606 --> 00:07:51,916
[laughs]
- [scoffs]
188
00:07:51,985 --> 00:07:54,916
Yeah, right, "I would make
a better Patrick."
189
00:07:54,985 --> 00:07:58,054
[stammers]
Wait a minute, that's it!
190
00:07:58,123 --> 00:08:01,675
That'll teach him.
Oh, thanks, SpongeBob.
191
00:08:01,744 --> 00:08:03,433
- Mm.
- [smooches]
192
00:08:03,502 --> 00:08:05,675
- Oh, wait a minute, Squidward,
you dropped your chee--
193
00:08:05,744 --> 00:08:08,744
[sniffs, gags]
[groans]
194
00:08:10,571 --> 00:08:13,227
- [groans, sighs]
195
00:08:13,296 --> 00:08:17,502
Well, Patrick,
time for another lovely day
196
00:08:17,571 --> 00:08:20,709
in the flower garden of life.
197
00:08:20,778 --> 00:08:24,227
[sighs]
- [babbling]
198
00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:26,468
I love you, brick.[grunts]
199
00:08:26,537 --> 00:08:28,847
I love you, brick.
[grunts]
200
00:08:28,916 --> 00:08:31,537
I love you, brick.[grunts]
201
00:08:31,606 --> 00:08:33,502
- Squidward, you kelp head,
202
00:08:33,571 --> 00:08:35,882
what did you do
to my beautiful house?
203
00:08:35,951 --> 00:08:38,399
- Define "do."
204
00:08:38,468 --> 00:08:39,709
[grunts]
- [hollers]
205
00:08:39,778 --> 00:08:42,985
Don't put my art up your nose,
you cretin!
206
00:08:43,054 --> 00:08:45,468
- [babbles]
207
00:08:45,537 --> 00:08:48,364
[gulps]
I might need that someday.
208
00:08:48,433 --> 00:08:51,502
Duh...
- [sighs]
209
00:08:51,571 --> 00:08:53,709
I'll play
the old licorice stick.
210
00:08:53,778 --> 00:08:56,399
That always soothes my nerves.
211
00:08:56,468 --> 00:08:59,537
[yelps]
- [munching]
212
00:08:59,606 --> 00:09:02,606
Doesn't taste like licorice.
213
00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:04,399
- My clarinet!
214
00:09:04,468 --> 00:09:06,158
No!
215
00:09:06,227 --> 00:09:09,364
- [spits]
Oh, sorry, you want some?
216
00:09:09,433 --> 00:09:11,330
- Ah-ah-ah!
217
00:09:11,399 --> 00:09:13,606
The etiquette spoon came back
218
00:09:13,675 --> 00:09:16,813
and he says,
"Eat like a gentlemen."
219
00:09:16,882 --> 00:09:20,468
- [goofy babbling]
- [laughing]
220
00:09:20,537 --> 00:09:24,537
- Um--um, I'm going to go play
221
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:27,261
with my best friend SpongeBob.
222
00:09:27,330 --> 00:09:29,330
[laughing]
223
00:09:29,399 --> 00:09:31,813
- Yeah, you do that
224
00:09:31,882 --> 00:09:34,606
while I take a Pat nap.
225
00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:36,537
[sighs]
226
00:09:36,606 --> 00:09:38,261
[grunts]
[both laughing]
227
00:09:38,330 --> 00:09:42,675
[grunts] What are those ninnies
up to now?
228
00:09:42,744 --> 00:09:43,985
- [laughs] I told you
229
00:09:44,054 --> 00:09:46,192
you'd make a
great Patrick, Squidward!
230
00:09:46,261 --> 00:09:48,192
- [laughing]
231
00:09:48,261 --> 00:09:50,364
- Pipe down, you two!
232
00:09:50,433 --> 00:09:52,744
- Hey, Patrick, heads up!
233
00:09:52,813 --> 00:09:53,985
[grunts]
- Ooh!
234
00:09:54,054 --> 00:09:56,709
both: Bull's-eye!
[both laughing]
235
00:09:56,778 --> 00:10:00,537
- I said be quiet, you two,
or I'm calling the--
236
00:10:00,606 --> 00:10:03,916
[gulps]
Mud.
237
00:10:03,985 --> 00:10:06,020
Puddle!
238
00:10:06,089 --> 00:10:08,330
[grunts, babbles]
239
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:11,606
[gasps, sighs]
240
00:10:11,675 --> 00:10:14,020
[laughs]
Hey!
241
00:10:14,089 --> 00:10:16,123
[grunts]
242
00:10:16,192 --> 00:10:20,054
- [spits]
He's Patrick again!
243
00:10:20,123 --> 00:10:21,640
Finally!
244
00:10:21,709 --> 00:10:25,261
both: Squidward, look!
245
00:10:25,330 --> 00:10:27,709
- [goofy babbling]
246
00:10:27,778 --> 00:10:29,502
It's the new house I ordered!
247
00:10:29,571 --> 00:10:31,571
No more Patrick!
248
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:34,089
[upbeat music]
249
00:10:34,158 --> 00:10:35,502
all: Yay!
250
00:10:35,571 --> 00:10:37,433
[clattering]
251
00:10:37,502 --> 00:10:40,606
[all groan, grunt]
252
00:10:40,675 --> 00:10:42,227
both: Huh?
253
00:10:42,296 --> 00:10:44,709
- [groans]
254
00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:48,606
both: Whoo!
- [laughs]
255
00:10:48,675 --> 00:10:50,985
- Good-night, SpongeBob.
- Night, Patrick.
256
00:10:51,054 --> 00:10:53,364
both: Good-night, Squidward.
257
00:10:53,433 --> 00:10:55,089
[both smooch]
258
00:10:55,158 --> 00:10:57,123
- [sobbing]
259
00:11:00,364 --> 00:11:03,882
[mellow tropical music]
260
00:11:06,364 --> 00:11:10,296
♪ ♪
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