Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪ ♪

[jaunty nautical music]

♪ ♪

- Now remember, boyo, I'm trusting you

to take care of me house when I'm away.

House sitting is a very important responsibility.

Check the windows,

and make sure the security system

is always on your person.

- Ooh!

[bat whooshing]

Yow! - Whoa!

- [goofy babbling] - [gasps]

Scratch that last order.

And do not step foot into me bedroom!

I've got me private things in there.

[giggles, clears throat]

Now, Pearl is staying with friends,

so you'll be here all alone.

- Don't worry, Mr. Krabs,

your house is in good hands with me.

Hmm.

[sneezes] Huh, huh?

See? [laughing]

- [sighs]

Now, there's been a rash of robberies

in the neighborhood,

so do not open the door...

[drawn out] For anyone!

[humming]

- [sighs, laughs]

[knocking on door]

[hums]

- I told you not to open the door

for anyone!

- Yes, sir![grunts]

- [grunts]

Uh, I think the boy's got it.

[weak laugh]

- Hmm... [exclaims softly]

Huh? [goofy exclamations]

Hmm.

[toilet flushes]

[goofy exclamations]

I checked everywhere and no sign of robber--huh?

Huh, Mr. Krabs' bedroom.

I don't remember his door being ajar.

There could be robbers in there.

- Do not step foot into me bedroom!

- Don't worry, Mr. Krabs,

I won't "step foot" in your bedroom.

[laughs] [goofy exclamations]

[curious music]

Seems pretty clear of robbers.

[sniffs, giggles] Smells like Mr. Krabs.

Ooh, no wonder! [laughs]

Hmm. [humming]

Better check in here too.

[dainty tune playing]

Aww, so Puffy.

Huh? Ooh, "Midnight Pincer."

[eagle screams] [singer yodeling]

♪ ♪

It's a very romantic-er-er evening, Mrs. Puff.

[imitating Mr. Krabs' laugh]

[exclaims] Hmm.

[laughs] Nighty-night, Mrs. Puff.

[goofy grunting]

Wow, look at Mr. Krabs' knot collection.

Ooh, that dingle dangle should "knot" be there.

[laughs] ♪ La-la-la ♪

♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪

♪ La-la-la-la-la-la ♪

♪ La-la-la-la-la-la ♪

[goofy babbling] Huh?

[screams]

[goofy babbling]

Ooh! [grunts]

I'm still not setting foot in here.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, that must be the pizza I ordered!

[doorbell ringing]

Whoop!

- Pizza delivery.

- I'm not allowed to open the door.

Just slide the pizza through the mail slot.

[pizza squishing, gurgling]

♪ ♪

And this is for you.

- My third mail slot delivery tonight.

Must be a full moon.

- [slurping]

♪ ♪

[sighs]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [clears throat]

I'm here for the Fast Food Founding Fathers Convention.

- Oh, you mean FFFF.

That'll be 10¢ entrance fee.

- [shrieks]

10¢?

That's a rip-off!

I'm going home!

♪ ♪

What kind of crazy convention charges 10¢

to a Founding-- [stammers]

- Congratulations, you're our 100th person to enter!

Here's $1,000!

[triumphant music]

- What? [holding note]

[static crackling]

[mellow music]

[lively music]

[all shouting]

[chicken clucking] - [munching]

- Shocking Cinema now returns

with tonight's frightening feature:

"Knock, Knock, You're Dead."

[cackling]

- [shrieks]

I can't watch this! [grunts]

[sighs]

[knocking on door]

[shrieks, babbling]

- SpongeBob, open up!

I forgot me keys! [groans]

SpongeBob!

Huh? SpongeBob?

[sniffs, smacks lips]

What I always suspected:

SpongeBob is made out of cheese!

Hmm?

Or was made out of cheese.

Oh... - Who is it?

- It's me, Mr. Krabs! Open up, boy!

- You can't be Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs is at a convention, and he said

not to open the door for anyone.

- What? [stammering furiously]

Open up!

- Oh, you sound like Mr. Krabs, robber,

but you look nothing like him!

- Hmm? Barnacles!

Open up, you-- [stammering, grunting]

Huh. Aha!

[laughs, grunting]

[devious music]

[grunts]

[growls] Hmm?

♪ ♪

Ugh, and I told him to check the windows, didn't I?

[muttering unintelligibly]

- Patrick, you've gotta come over to Mr. Krabs' place!

Someone's trying to break in! - [moans]

- Uh, SquarePants. - [moaning]

- SpongeBob SquarePants. - [moans]

- No, you're Patrick!

Please, hurry.

- [grunting] Huh?

Patrick?

What's that pink clown doing here?

Eh, who cares?

SpongeBob will never open the door for him.

- [goofy babbling]

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

- Great horn spoon!

How's he doing that?

[both grunting]

[both holler, grunt]

- [goofy exclamation, laughs]

Thank goodness you don't have any bones, buddy.

- Nope, all blubber.

[laughing]

[clattering]

- [gasps] Someone is trying to break into Mr. Krabs' house.

- Then we'd better get over there right away!

- We're already here.

- You mean you had me walk in the rain for nothing?

- [grunting] I've got it...

[grunting] One little bit--there we go.

Huh? [babbling]

[hollering]

[groans]

- That robber doesn't sound like he's gonna give up.

Let's set some traps.

♪ ♪

Check it out, Patrick:

if a robber happens to open this door--bam!

This pillow will fall on their head.

I call it "soft justice."

- Good one.[laughs]

Look at mine!

If a robber tries to come in through the window,

they'll put their hand in this warm water

and they'll have to run to the bathroom!

[laughing]

- House all secure. Now we relax.

[glass shatters]

The robber! To the battle stations!

- [grunting] There we go.

[grunting]

[wails] Midnight Pincer?

It smells so wonderful,

but it burns!

[wails, grunts]

[groans]

- Take that![grunts]

- Desperate times call for desperate measures.

[grunting]

- What the-- not on my watch!

[grunting]

♪ ♪

- [babbling]

[laughs] The pet door.

Why didn't I think of this before?

Oh, boy. [laughs]

Huh? [shrieks]

- Hmm.

Hmm, cheddar.

- Sharp cheddar.

[cow moos]

- [growling] That's it!

Time to wreck this ball.

- No Mr. Krabs-impersonating robber will ever get

into this house with us on the job.

We're tough guys. - Yeah.

[both giggling]

Uh, I feel like a tough guy action movie.

- Oh, the tougher the better, buddy!

- Oh, yeah! - [grunts]

[banging]

- Wow, Mr. Krabs sure has an awesome TV noise machine!

[banging]

- [growling]

[grunts]

[thunder crashing]

[grunts] I'm coming in hot!

Whoo-hoo!

[triumphant music]

both: Wow, 3-D!

- [groans]

[grunting]

[dramatic music]

[grunts, groans]

[sobbing]

[melancholy music]

I give up.

Here, look,

this proves I'm the real Mr. Krabs.

both: Hmm... hmm...

- Oh... [laughs]

Says you're an organ donor.

Nice. - You play the organ?

- Give me that. both: Sorry, Mr. Krabs.

- Oh, it's all right.

I can't be mad at you for following me orders.

You did good, boyo.

You, too, Pat-o. [both laugh]

[knocking on door]

all: Huh? - The robber.

- Daddy, open up, it's Pearl!

I forgot my keys! - [grunts]

Well, you sound like me daughter,

Mr. Robber,

but you look nothing like her!

[laughs] [both exclaim]

- Hmm?

Hmm.

Are those me private things?

- Daddy! [whines]

Daddy!