Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪ ♪

[waves crashing]

[energetic music]

♪ ♪

- [humming]

Oh--hey!

- See them flip... - Aah!

- Ha ha ha ha ha!

- See them soar...

see them juggle and so much more.

It's Circus Sea Fleas!

[honk honk honk]

And they were born to please you.

- Ha ha ha ha ha! - Ha ha ha ha ha!

Yay! We love you, Circus Sea Fleas.

- And the fleas love you.

Remember, Circus Sea Fleas live to perform just for you!

- We've been emotionally validated.

- Send for your very own Circus Sea Fleas today!

- Oh...

I sent for mine yesterday, and I'm still waiting.

- Bummer, dude! - What?

- Bummer Dude action figures.

They're miserable. [all moaning]

- Oh...

- Hey, hey, hey SpongeBob.

Got a buncha great stuff for you today.

The new "Spatula Emporium" catalog.

- No.

- Free money from the sweepstakes you won.

- No.

- A letter from your family.

- No. Packages, how about packages?

You have any packages for me?

- No packages.

Sorry to disappoint you, SpongeBob.

- What makes you think I'm disappointed?

Everything's just fine.

- Man, what a sad sponge.

That's right, introducing Sad Sponge,

The newest Bummer Dude action figure.

- Oh...

- And kick, and twist, and kick.

Higher ladies. I said higher.

- I'll show you high.

[groaning]

Huh?

[sizzling] Aah!

- Feel the burn.

- I feel it!

Ahh...

[doorbell rings] Huh?

- Oh. Pink leg warmers?

- Yeah, so? - So...

I love 'em!

We're leg warmer buddies. - Oh, please.

I wouldn't be caught dead in leg warmers with that hat.

Go back to fashion school.

- [sighs] He's right.

Hello, fashion school? I'm coming back!

I'm reborn!

- What? This package isn't even for me.

It's for SpongeBob.

Hmph.

That mailman is a moron.

[overlapping yelling, whooping]

[fleas muttering, whooping]

And time for me to eat.

[fleas yelling, chattering]

And...

Bowl is nice and clean. [humming]

Grab my favorite spoon. [humming]

Brush on my shirt. [humming]

Milk is smelling fresh. [humming]

[fleas clamoring, chattering]

Cereal gives me pep. [humming]

[fleas yelling, whooping]

It's moving by itself. [humming]

Ghosts are in my bowl. [humming]

Ghosts are in my bowl?

Ghosts are in my bowl!

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

Huh?

[gasps]

Aah!

My kitchen's haunted!

Calm down, Squidward.

You're just seeing things because you're so tired.

Yeah, yeah, that's it. You just need some more sleep.

♪ ♪

[snoring softly]

[fleas clamoring, whooping]

[fanfare, crowd cheering]

Huh?

What? Oh...

I must still be dreaming.

[lively circus music]

♪ ♪

Blblblblb. Huh?

- Hup...hup...

hup...huh!

- Huh-huh-huh-huh...

♪ ♪

- Welcome to your Sea Flea Circus.

It's our duty to entertain you.

- How delightful.

Huh?

Amazing.

♪ ♪

Huh? What's next?

[twirr]

- Lunchtime.

- Lunchtime?

Why would a dream need a--

Aah!

Aah! This isn't a dream!

It's an infestation!

Huh? Where'd they go?

Oh! Hmm... Not bad.

Aah! Aah!

I look amazing. Please don't ruin this by biting my face.

Aah! You ruined it.

Ah...

Why is this happening to me?

Oh, yeah. Karma.

[gong echoes]

Help! Ooh--

Hey? What are you--

Oh! That feels nice and warm.

It's actually getting kind of hot now.

Hey. You're trying to cook me. Let me out of here.

Parsnip? Puh!

Are you crazy?

You don't serve a prime piece of meat like me with parsnip.

You need lemons to brighten my flavors

and some pepper or spice.

Ah! Much better.

Now let me out of here!

Aah!

[Squidward screaming, yelling]

- Now you're cookin'.

- Huh? Oh, no, my buttons are tarnished.

No circus flea is going to want

to perform for a guy with tarnished buttons.

Fa la la la la la!

[horn toots distantly] [gasps] Circus music?

Hmm. [horns tooting]

Oh, hey, Squidward. Just checking.

You've haven't seen a package addressed to me, have you?

My circus fleas! Yes!

They came! They came!

Hey, this box is empty. Where did the fleas go?

Hello, fleas.

I hope you fed them, Squidward. They can get pretty hungry.

- Oh, I fed them all right. Please take them away now.

- You got it.

Ho! Alley-oop, waah!

[fleas chattering]

- Ta-da!

- Ha ha ha ha ha!

Now let's take this circus to my place.

All aboard!

♪ ♪

[toot toot]

May all your days be Sea Flea Circus days.

Best day ever!

- Stupid circus fleas.

Just look at the mess they left.

Hmm?

What's this?

Oh. [twirr]

[commotion, yelling]

Aah!

- Hey.

- What's taking so long?

- I never got my fries.

- Why doesn't my father love me?

[customers complaining]

- Hey, Squidward. - Quit it.

- Hey, Squidward. - Quit it.

- Hey, Squidward. - Quit it!

- Mr. Squidward, clean up in the head.

- Hey, Squidward.

- Also, clean up here.

- [whimpering]

- Hey, Squidward.

- I said clean up.

- Squidward! - Squidward.

- Hey, Squidward.

Hey, Squidward. Hey, Squidward. Hey, Squidward. Hey, Squidward.

- Squidward! - Hey, Squidward, Squidward,

hey, Squidward.

- Oh, no...

- Don't just lay there. Clean up. Clean up. Clean up!

- Aah!

It was just a dream.

Just a horrible, realistic, totally on point dream.

Oh, I can't believe I'm dreaming about work

when there's so many more interesting things

I could be doing.

Just look at my unfinished painting.

And my unfinished symphony.

And my uneaten strudel.

My strudel!

- Just tasted like pie to me.

- It's a strudel, you barbarian.

Just look at those pastry layers.

- Oh, yeah. - Ohh...

I just woke up and the day's already a disaster.

I can't face the Krusty Krab today.

I am staying home and diving into an ocean of Squidward.

[jungle sounds]

[humming]

Ahh...

What the--

Oh-- [muttering]

- Any more of that layer pie?

- Get out!

Now to get rid of the other monkey on my back.

- [ah-ah-ahem]

[clearing throat]

- Krusty Krab.

- [coughing]

- Oh, Mr. Krabs, it's... [gagging, coughing]

Squidward.

- Mr. Squidward?

What are you doing on the phone?

You should be working. - [hacking]

Can't work. Too...[hacking] sick.

Ah-choo!

- You do sound pretty bad.

Are you sure you're too sick to work?

- Ha ha. I mean, I mean...[coughing]

positive.

- Hmm...

Too sick, hey?

Oh, I got the cure for what ails you.

Well, you just rest up, Mr. Squidward.

I'll take care of everything.

- Okay, bye, talk to you--

I mean, I mean-- [hacking]

[hoarsely] Bye!

- No one fake sick on Mr. Krabs and gets away with it.

- No work for me today.

Mr. Squidward gets to play. No customers for me to fear.

SpongeBob can take a long walk along a very sharp pier.

[knock on door] Huh?

Oh. That must be the crudité I ordered.

- Well--oh!

Oh, Mr. Krabs. I didn't see you there.

How thoughtful of you to visit me in my weakened state.

- Oh, think nothing of it, Mr. Squidward.

You sounded so bad on the phone I rushed right over

to make sure you were taking good care of yourself.

- Well, I wouldn't want to infect anyone,

so you should probably go now.

- Oh, you are in no condition to be alone.

That's why I brought you some help.

Take one of these and call me in the morning.

- The doctor is in.

- Oh...

- Swaddle, swaddle, swaddle.

Hush-aby now, don't strain yourself.

- Really, Mr. Krabs, this isn't necessary.

- Of course it is.

If I find out you were faking it

just to get out of work, I'd have to fire you.

- No faking here. No, I'm really--[cough] sick.

Okay, back to the swaddling.

- Aw!

[humming]

- Oh, yes. I like that.

Uh-huh, uh-huh. Indeed.

- [gasps]

Squidward! You're overexerting yourself.

Now you just rest that sick little body of yours

while SpongeBob finishes up your self-portrait for you.

- But--but--but-- - Ha ha!

La la la la!

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Done.

In my imagination, you're a helpless little baby.

Gee, you're sicker than I thought.

[Squidward vomiting]

Eh...

- Now just forget that yellow nuisance

and lose yourself in music.

♪-- - Squidward!

You shouldn't be wasting your breath in your weakened state.

Let me blow the clarinet for you.

- No, no, don't touch my-- ♪ ♪

Don't touch my--

- Hmm? Bleh.

[musical inhale]

- [whimpering]

- Ah. The perfect strudel will make everything all right.

- Oh, Squidward. - Oh...

- Time to take your temperature.

- Get that thing away from my--

- Ooh! 98.6. Oh, Squidward, you're all better.

I'm so happy we can both go to the Krusty Krab now.

- What? No!

Give me that thing. You must've read it wrong.

Oh, hey. What's that over there?

- Oh cool. A wall.

So smooth.

Well, that was fun.

Now, let's check that thermometer again, shall we?

- Here you go.

- Yikes. A fever.

Squidward, we got to cool you off.

- Stop.

- You're right, you need it even colder.

- [shrieking, whimpering]

- Thank you.

- Oh, boy. - There, all better?

- N-no, you buffoon.

- You're right, Squidward.

I have been...buffoon.

- W-w-what?

- I've been treating the symptoms

instead of the sickness.

- Stay away from me with that thing.

- But we have to figure out

what you have so we can treat it.

- No, uh, I already know what I have.

It's, uh, acute...

spotting...sclorboritis.

- Acute spotting sclorboritis?

I never heard of that one. Better look it up.

- Ah-choo, ah-choo, ah-choo!

- Oh, you're getting worse!

We've got to find a cure fast.

I found it. Here it is.

- You did? - Yup.

And the cure seems pretty simple.

See?

- Uh...uh, wait--

wait, did I say acute spotting sclorboritis?

No, no, I must've meant... plerkington's syndrome.

- Found it. Now, let's get to the curing, shall we?

[upbeat music]

- Aah!

♪ ♪

Huh?

[Squidward gagging]

- Are we done? - Don't be silly.

We've just begun.

- Aah!

[ringing]

- Tentacles residence. SpongeBob speaking.

- Hello, me boy-o.

How's the patient? - Better. I'm all better.

Please, just let me go back to work.

- Oh, nonsense. You still look so sick.

Better step up the cure, SpongeBob.

- Whatever you say Mr. Krabs.

Open wide.

- You will not get that anywhere near my mouth.

- Ha ha ha ha! Guess again.

- Aah!

So, the book told me to stretch his nose,

shock him with a jellyfish, and then I scraped his lungs

and cleaned them out with a toxic eating urchin.

- Hoo hoo hoo hoo. Hee he hee hee!

Priceless.

Well, Mr. Squidward.

Feeling better after your sick day?

- You might say that.

- [gasps] He's glorious.

- That's right, I used to be sick of everything,

but I'm not sick anymore.

I've been plagued by toxins and stress built up

over the years at this job,

but SpongeBob washed those away.

- [squeals]

- Now, who wants to order? Ha ha ha!

[overlapping shouting]

- Ha ha ha ha. - Hey, Squidward.

Whoa, muscles.

Hey, Squidward. Hey, Squidward.

- More layered pie.

- Hey, Squidward. Hey, Squidward.

Hey, Squidward. - No, no, no!

I think I'm going to be sick.