Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

[flute playing]

[mellow music]

♪ ♪

- One large Flotsam fries, extra Jetsam,

four orders of duckweed.

- Hmm.

Methinks thou forgot my gravy,

thou lumpish clay-brained flap dragon.

- [laughs] Flap dragon.

[giggles] - [sighs]

Oh, and finally,

one Deep Sea Donut.

That comes to a total of--

- Whatever the measure, squire, put it on my account.

- Oh, no, you don't. - [gasps]

- No more food for you until you pay your tab.

- [stammering] Pay tab?

I'll flip you for it.

[coin jingles] - I'll take that.

- How about a friendly game of Three Deadly Challenges?

[dramatic orchestral music]

- Oh, castle. Pick castle!

- [groans]

- [whimpering]

- [laughs] I bet we'll never see

that game geek again.

[bell dings] - 50 Krabby Patties please.

Extra pickles!

Put it on my tab.

- Coming right up.

- Bubble Bass! - [whimpers]

- [snarls] - [chuckles]

- ♪ Hey, nonny-nonny ♪

♪ You look pretty funny ♪

♪ You won't get my money, nah, nah-nah, nah-nah ♪

[car horn honks]

- [whimpering]

- Mr. Squidward!

I want you and SpongeBob to go after Bubble Bass,

and collect his tab.

- [squeals]

- [grumbles]

- Hey, nonny-nonny, you look pretty funny.

You won't get my money. You-- - [sighs]

- I can't help it. It's catchy.

- Look, I just want to collect the money

as soon as possible and go.

Bubble Bass! We're here to collect your tab!

[grunts]

- Squidward, that was so masculine.

- Uh, well, I-- [clears throat]

Let's go.

I know you're in here. Come out.

- [sniffs] Smells funny in here.

- Smells like deadbeat.

Hmm.

If you don't pay up,

we'll sell this furniture.

- [gasps] - Whoops.

- How much do you think this is worth?

I just chipped it.

- Oh, it was the chip that sold me!

I'll give you 10 bucks. - Hey!

Don't touch mother's things. I'll pay the tab.

Come downstairs, and we'll work it out.

[groans]

[both yelp]

[crashing]

- [moaning]

- My savior. - Huh? Oh.

All right, where is he?

- [grunting]

- If you want me to pay, you'll have to play

The Three Deadly Challenges.

- Oh! The Three Deadly Challenges!

[excited panting] I've got this game.

Where is it? Game of Strife, Chutes and Bladders...

Oh, here it is! Ah!

The Three Deadly Challenges. [dramatic orchestral music]

- A board game. Whoopee.

- Okay, Bubble Bass. We accept the challenge.

- Why are you giving him the upper hand?

He owes us money!

- Oh.

But I wanna pway The Thwee Deadwy Chawwenges.

- Oh, all wight-- [clears throat]

All right already! Let's get this over with.

- Oh, yeah!

[laughs] [crashes]

- Oh, boy.

- Wow! - Huh?

- A life-size version of the Three Deadly Challenges.

Beautiful!

- Looks like a hobo campground.

- No, Squidward.

You have to look with your imagination.

- What the--oh! [speaks gibberish]

It's a dump!

- Thou art two oozing cysts

on the hindside of a plague dog's nose.

- What did he say?

- The colorful insults are the best part of the game!

- That figures. Hmm.

So how do you win this goofball game, anyway?

- Since Bubble Bass challenged us,

all we have to do is get close enough to tag him out.

We get three chances,

or should I say, Three Challenges.

- Oh, hmm. - Oh, boy!

Look, Squidward! [grunting]

- Oh, this feels stupid.

[sighs]

both: Charge!

- [yelling]

[strains]

- Huh? Uh-oh.

- What? [both yell]

[both grunt]

[crowd cheering]

- Tag, you lose! [both laughing]

- [screams] We decapitated him!

- Oh, calm down.

It's just a dummy made from his mother's couch cushions

and a sleeping bag. [sighs]

All of this for a tab?

- Oh!

But you were magnificent, Squidward.

So strong and courageous.

- As always.

- Thy canker sore bottoms curdle seaweed

and sour the ocean.

- Oh, you-- - I got this one, Squidward.

Oh, yeah? Well, your pillows are filed with urchins,

and your shirts are inside out!

- Adding injury to insult.

[trumpet fanfare] - [groans]

[crowd cheering]

- Oh, look at all this junk.

- [excitedly] I know. Isn't it great?

- [groans]

Let's finish this.

He's obviously in that bullpen.

- [huffing and growling]

[dramatic music]

[roars]

both: Bubble Bass' mom!

- You! You chipped my furniture!

[growls]

- He tricked us. What do we do?

- Hide! [both whimpering]

- And that's my good tablecloth!

[tires squealing]

[all grunting and screaming]

[quirky music]

♪ ♪

- Ah.

[both humming]

[tango music]

♪ ♪

[grunts]

- Aww!

[alarm buzzing]

- Huh? - [grunts]

- Sorry, sweetie. Gotta run.

I'm late for the bake sale. - [moans]

- Call me!

- [gulps]

- Mother!

[screaming] Why?

[ground rumbling]

Whoa!

[crowd cheering, trumpet fanfare]

- [strains]

Sir Squidward, you look magnificent

upon your mighty steed.

- [gasps] Yes.

Yes, I see it now!

- [grunts]

- Any last words, Squid-wuss?

- May thy fat head

be set upon by sea spiders and torn asunder,

leaving only thine eyes to witness the humiliation!

- Ooh, pretty good last words.

- Sir Squidward, thy shield.

- Ha! Shield, shmield.

[grunts]

- My hero.

[crowd cheering]

[both growl]

- [inhales] [horn blaring]

Ah!

- Ya!

- Ya! - Ah, ha-ha!

- [roars]

- Oh, I can't look.

- [grunting]

- Mommy!

- [growling]

- [slowed groaning]

- All right, Bubble Bass. You're tagged.

Pay your tab.

- [mocking grunts]

- You bested me at Three Deadly Challenges.

But I am broke!

Verily, I spent all of my money on cardboard.

What are you going to do to me?

- Nothing, but I am sure Mr. Krabs

has some Deadly Challenges of his own for you.

- [labored breathing]

This is torture!

My arms are killing me.

I can't feel my fingers.

I feel a cramp! I'm cramped!

My back is breaking.

- [wailing]

- [moans]

[overlapping complaints] - That guy is terrible!

- Look, I sympathize.

He's gotta work here until he pays off his tab.

- I've got some money. - I'll contribute to that.

- What? That's not-- I didn't really--oh--oh.

[gasps] [overlapping complaints]

- Just get that menace out of here!

- [humming]

- [grumbling] Hmm?

- All right, Bubble Bass. Your tab's been wiped clean.

You can go.

Well? Go already!

- Verily, I am free-ith.

- [giggles]

[cash register dings] Huh?

- [laughs]

[whinnies] Krabs!

I thank thee, clapper-clawed barnacle,

for forgiving my debt, and FYI,

I just opened up a new tab.

[squeals, cackles]

Hi-ya! - [growls]

Oh, Bubble Bass!

- [laughs]

- Olé, Señor Squidward?

- Olé, SpongeBob.

[both humming]

- I'll lead.

- May I? - Hmm?

- [giggles]

- Eh, but, of course.

[both humming]

[energetic music]

♪ ♪

- Oh! This restaurant is so fancy.

Even the silverware's made of velvet.

Ooh.

- [giggles] Nothing's too good

for my Puffekins.

- Madame and Monsieur, your menus.

- Thank you. These prices!

[whimpers]

- And what would Mademoiselle desire?

- [giggles] I don't know!

What do you think, Krabsy-wabsy?

- Uh, the water looks delicious, puff-cake.

-[laughs] Such a kidder.

Monsieur and I will have the Kelp Consommé to start.

- [gulps] To start?

- Followed by the Sargasso Salad.

- [whimpering]

- And the Sweet and Sour Algae.

- Ah, may I suggest the Coral Jubilee for dessert?

It's our most expensive item.

- Oh, yes, we must try that, Eugene.

We'll take two.

- [nervous laugh] Yeah, sure.

Of course.

- Excellent choice, Mademoiselle.

- [whimpers] Do something Krabs!

You're gonna go broke! [gasping]

Ah! [chuckles]

I'll get soup all over me nice suit,

and our meal will be free.

[grunts] [drum roll]

- Whoa! - Oh, no.

[cheers and applause] - Bravo!

- I've got one last thing to try!

Uh, waiter. There's an eyelash in me soup.

- Oh, my dear. How revolting.

- [groans]

- SpongeBob? - Oh, bonjour, Mrs. Puff.

Mr. Krabs said if I came along, we'd all get a free meal.

- Eugene! This is so embarrassing.

- [nervous laugh]Wait!

- [clears throat] Your bill, sir.

- Do you take Krusty Krab coupons?

[whimpering]

- Oh... [grumbles]

- Oh, no, don't go, sweetie bunch.

Your wittle Krabsy is so sowwy.

- Once again,

you've ruined our whole evening by being cheap.

I thought you cared about me.

- I do.

I'll make it up to you, honey biscuit.

Tomorrow night at my house, we'll have the most romantical

and fancy-type meal you ever tasted.

- All right, but it had better be perfect...

or else!

- [gulps] [nervous laugh]

- Mr. Krabs, you forgot your soup.

- SpongeBob,

I got another little job for you tomorrow night.

[doorbell ringing]

- I love working free overtime!

- Like I love the sweet embrace of death.

- Get inside, you two, before Puff sees you.

- Whoa! - [grunts]

- SpongeBob, you're cooking a fancy-pants dinner

for me and Mrs. Puff.

- I came prepared, Mr. Krabs.Fwhoom!

Fancy pants for a fancy meal.

- [laughs]

SpongeBob can't cook anything but grease trap muck.

He's not a gourmet like moi.

- Not true, I can cook fancy food.

I once made a Krabby Patty with three buns.

- You make a good point, Squidward.

That's why you're gonna use your highfalutin knowledge

to supervise him. - Of course.

- [whistles] Pearl, you're serving the food.

- But, Daddy, I was planning on staring at my phone tonight!

[sighs]

[grunting]

- This place is ancient.

How are we supposed to cook anything with this junk?

- What are you talking about?

This is high-quality navy surplus here.

[all gasp] - Oh!

- [nervous laugh]

So maybe it's a little outdated.

Now just get cooking!

And the dinner had better be fantastic, or else!

[doorbell rings] Ooh, me lady fair is here.

- Ooh, what's this do?

- [grunting]

[growls]

- Good evening, me dear.

May I say you look lovelier than a stack o' twenties.

- Oh, Eugene.

You know how I love it when you compare me to folding money.

- [chuckles]

Me daughter Pearl will be our server tonight.

- [gasps] How sweet.

Oh! - [sighs]

[mellow lounge music]

♪ ♪

[groans]

[both laugh]

- [giggles]

[belches] Oh!

The sparkling cider is extra fizzy tonight.

- Now you just relax, Puffkins,

while I consult with me very expensive private chefs.

[chuckles]

All right, hurry up, you cheap slop slingers!

Get the dinner on the table!

- [groaning]

Here, even a simpleton like you can make a salad.

And it better be fancy.

- Oh, I hope I can make it fancy enough.

[grunting]

How's this? [angelic choir sings]

- [groans] - Oops!

Can't forget the salad dressing.

- [groans] - Ah!

- Mmm, it looks wonderful.

- Huh, it kind of does, doesn't it?

Hey, not bad.

[belches]

But it's not good enough for my puffy-kins!

[nervous laugh] - Why, Eugene, how gallant!

- I'll just go check on our next course.

- [rumbling] Oh, my.

- What in the name of all that's greasy

are you doing in here?

Salads ain't supposed to have bubbles.

Squidward, you're supposed to be watching him.

- Don't ruin this dinner for me.

- Just what did you put on that salad?

Oh, good grief, this is dish soap!

- [sniffs] I thought those salads

had a fresh lemony scent.

- Go back to cooking, you numbskull.

- [nervous laugh] - Oh!

- [groans]

- Huh? - Ahh--ah!

- Not fancy enough for you. [nervous laugh]

- Oh.

It looks beautiful!

- Huh?Uh-oh!

[booms]

Still not fancy enough for you.

Uh, still not fancy enough for me fancy lady!

- [growls] It doesn't have to be perfect!

Just give me some food!

- Yeah, okay, I'll just go check on the main course then.

- [sighs] Huh?

Hmm.

- You two had better come up with something tasty,

or you're both double fired!

- So we're fired from being fired?

Does that mean we're hired?

- Yes! - [growls]

Then you're triple fired!

- No.

- Just make something edible.

[sighs]

- [sniffs] Hey, that actually smells tasty.

- Hooray!

- [grunts][groans]

[growls, grunts] - [grunts]

- Ah! - [groans]

[grunting]

- [gasps] [grunts]

Food fight!

[playful music]

[both grunting]

- Whoa!

[yelping]

[screams]

- Ah, SpongeBob!

Oh, oh! Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot!

[grunts]

[relieved sigh] Whew--huh?

- [grumbles]

- [nervous chuckle]

Just let me check the quality, my dear.

- Let go of my grub, bub! - Whoa!

[dramatic music]

- I'm famished!

- Psst, that's not food. That's SpongeBob.

- Argh!

[both grunting]

- We've gotta stop her.[grunts]

- Where are you going with my dinner?

- Squidward, go long![grunts]

- I don't want him! - Gross!

- [babbles]

- [growls] [roars]

- [screams] - [screams]

- [sighs]

[both yell]

- [sighing]

both: [yelp]

- [grunts]

[hollers]

[gulps] [belches]

Ooh. [slurps]

That was delicious.

- Uh, Puffykins.

I don't know how to say this, but...

[together] You ate SpongeBob!

- [laughs]

Hey, a candle.

- Oh, my...

- I'm afraid you'll finally have to pass SpongeBob.

- Oh, just take me to the doctor.

- ♪ Dinner is served ♪

[angelic choir sings]

- Three buns.

- [gulps] It's perfect.

[both sigh]

[stomach rumbles] But I'm still hungry.

[ding]

- [slurping] Ahh.

- [screams] [tires squealing]

[panting]

- I just want a taste!

- Bon appétit.