Original subtitles

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [sighs] It's finally my lunchtime--

my only respite from these cretins

and all the slop they call food.

- [giggling]

[inhales]

[chomping]

[burps] [dish shatters]

[pleased hum] Hello.

- Egh.

Well, let's see what delectable treats I packed myself today.

- Yoink! You know the rules.

No outside food in me restaurant.

Oh, and Mr. Squidward, I've got a hot date tonight,

so don't let no one bother me for the next few hours.

I'm gonna be in the tanning bed,

browning the leather...

[chuckles]

- Hello!

- [groans]

- Here--let me see here.

Hmm, dried kelp strips?

[groans] Reduced fat sea water?

[chuckles] That's weird.

Jackpot! Ice cream sandwich.

[chomping]

[giggling]

Ooh, nice and toasty in here.

I'll be back for you later.

- ♪ I got a krabby patty for my favorite Pat ♪

♪ A patty pat for my favorite Pat! ♪

Here you go, Patrick.

- [gulping] - Oh, mama, it's hot in here!

- What was that?

- Oh, Neptune, I'm melting!

- Mr. Krabs' air conditioning must be malfunctioning!

He could be mildly uncomfortable!

[both grunting]

- No, wait.Don't.

- [gasping] Oh, Mr. Krabs!

Are you okay? Ah, speak to me!

- [vocalizing]

- [sobbing] - This doesn't look good.

He melted all over the floor.

Mmm, strawberry.

Poor guy.

- [sobbing] Mr. Krabs...a tasty puddle...

He's--he's--he's dea--

[wailing]

- [laughs] Oh, oh, look at that.

And right before his big date tonight.

What a shame.

- A date? Oh, must love die meltily

in my arms too? [sobbing]

- I guess he's just an empty shell of the man he used to be.

[giggling]

- Hey, Squidward, you're right!

Only Mr. Krabs' insides melted.

His shell is fine! Maybe if we fill this back up

with organs, he'll be okay!

- Say what now?

- Plankton! - Ah, I didn't do it!

- We would like to purchase one large drum of chum, please.

- Extra organ-y.

- Say what? How do I know this isn't

a plot to steal my secret chum formula?

[both laughing]

- Yoink!

Enjoy your chum drum. Yum, yum!

- Thanks, Plankton! Love you.

Well all right, let's put some kick back in this crab!

[quirky music]

♪ ♪

- [groaning]

[grunting]

- Hmm, we're still missing something.

Oh!

A little zaparooni ought to do it!

The spark of life!

Doot!

[dramatic music]

- [groaning]

[garbling]

- He's alive! He's alive!

[laughs] He's alive!

- [garbling]

- Mr. Krabs seems kind of dumb now.

- Well, Patrick, he has had a rough day.

We'll just have to remind him of everything

that makes him him again!

Don't you worry, Mr. K.

We'll have you right back up to speed before

your big date tonight! I promise!

- [garbling]

- Ooh, I'm done.

[grunting]

Hey. Where'd me shell go?

I'm never that careless with me carapace.

[watch beeps] Oh, no!

I'm running late.

I'll just have to grab me spare suit from home.

Okay, here. Ooh. Uh-oh.

Let's see, if I time this right,

no one will notice me naked nethers.

- [chomping]

[baby crying]

- [grunting]

- Okay, Mr. Krabs, this is your final test.

What do you like more?

Money or cookies?

- [garbling]

- Don't say cookies. Don't say cookies.

- Money.

- Right! You're all ready for

your date with Mrs. Puff!

Hooray! [all cheering]

- [grunts]

[laughs] I made it!

- Ew, Daddy!

You're naked and ruining my cheerleader slumber party!

- [gasps]

all chanting: Hey, hey, hey!

Mr. K!

We don't wanna see your booty today.

- [shrieks]

[gasping]

I know that spare is in here somewhere.

Ah-ha!

Ooh, haven't worn this one in a while.

Eh, well, it'll just have to do.

I'm coming, me precious Puff! - [cheerleaders scream]

- Daddy!

- Okay, Mr. Krabs, here we are!

Just remember everything we practiced

and your date will go just fine.

Good luck! - Yeah, don't blow it.

[doorbell rings]

- Oh, is that you, Eugene?

- [groans]

- Yes!

- Yes.

- Well, you're right on time,

for once. What a treat.

- Yes.

- [laughing] And so agreeable tonight.

- Yes.

- Aww. Oh, Patrick,

Mr. Krabs may be the one we brought back to life,

but it's love we saved tonight.

- [groaning]

- Puff!

Puff! You in there?

I'm sorry I'm late for our date! [grunts]

[gasps] Empty.

She must be waiting for me at the restaurant.

Oh, I hope she's waiting for me.

[nervously gasps]

- [sighs] You know,

there's something different about you tonight, Eugene.

You've been such a good listener.

- [grunts]

- And that manly new musk you're wearing...

[sniffs]

Oh, my.

- [garbles]

Chum.

- Oh, I think we're way past being chums, Eugene!

[moaning]

- Ooh, Patrick, their date is going great.

- I say, do you mind?

- [gasping]

Don't worry, I'm here, me puffy princess!

- [giggles] - What?

Who is that clown clawing at me woman?

[growling]

What in Davy Jones'

Gym Locker is going on here?

- Who is that? - I don't know,

but we better stop him before he ruins everything!

[both grunting]

- Sorry, Mr. Krabs. Sorry Mrs. Puff.

Enjoy the rest of your date!

- [grunts]

What are you doing, boy-o? It's me, Mr. Krabs,

your lovesick employerer!

- Lovesick employer? Clever imposter, you mean!

- Hmm.

[laughing]

That's the real Mr. Krabs, you idiots!

Oh, and Eugene...

your teenage self called.

He wants his prom tux back!

[laughing] - [grunts]

- Sorry, sir. We thought you had melted,

and so we brought you back to life with chum!

Anybody would've done the same thing.

- [stammering]

Melted? Chum?

What're you goin' on about, boy-o?

- [giggling] - [garbling]

[both grunt]

- Get your mitts off me gal, bucko!

- Oh!

You're not going to take that from a stranger,

are you, Eugene?

Fight for my love!

[both grunting]

- Ah! This is all

a big misunderstanding.

- [garbling]

- Hey!

Ow!

[growling]

[grunting]

[both groan]

- [garbling]

- Oh...

I lost the fight and me Puff.

- [groaning]

Uh-oh...

- [chuckles] I win!

Well, kind of.

- Sorry, Eugene.

I guess I couldn't see past your handsome exterior...

- Oh, baby, it's okay.

[groans] Ew.

Sure hope I can get this stink out of me shell.

- I like it.

- Sorry about the mix-up, chummy.

You may not be Mr. Krabs, but you can still be our friend!

- [garbling] Friends.

[laughter]