Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪ ♪

[waves crashing]

[jazz music]

♪ ♪

- Wow, I never thought The Low Tides

would come to a backwater town like Bikini Bottom.

- Squidward, I didn't know you liked The Low Tides!

[grunting, groaning]

- Yeah, they're fine,

but that Clair St. Claire is the real talent!

They say his clarinet is so fancy,

it doesn't play any wrong notes!

- All right, enough nonsense! Listen up!

This here's the biggest concert

to come to Bikini Bottom in decades!

[sniffs]

You smell that, boyos?

- [sniffs]

Ooh! [giggles]

You smell like corn chips, Mr. Krabs!

-I just smell the toilets.

[flush] - Phew!

- Yeah, yeah. All that's in the air too,

along with the smell of money!

The show is sold out,

which means there's 30,000 fans in there.

And you are gonna sell a Krabby patty

to every single one of them!

- [gasps]

What a great way to make 30,000 new friends,

don't ya think Squidward, huh?

Hmm? Hmm?

Don't you? - [groans]

And what are you going to do while we work all day?

- Glad you asked, Mr. Squidward.

I will be taking the toughest job of all.

I'll be sneaking onstage

to unfurl this here banner behind the band.

[mimics fanfare]

- "The Krusty Krab.

"Krabby patties are yummy. Please your face.

Tonight would be great."

That's the worst advertisement I've ever seen.

[groans]

- What do you know about celebrity endorser-mints?

Just get in there and sell me patties!

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

[audience clamoring]

- Oh, boy!

SpongeBob and Squidward, working side by side!

The two amigos, patty purveyors,

the delicious duo.

- Backstage, huh?

[moans, clamoring]

- Mr. Squidward, you're on in two minutes!

- [groans] Mm-hmm.

- Ladies and gentlemen, it's The Low Tides

with their special guest, Squidward Tentacles!

[cheers]

[big band music]

♪ ♪

[clarinet plays]

♪ ♪

all: Squidward, Squidward, Squidward!

♪ ♪

- Hmm. Huh?

- Concession Kings! Bun buddies forever!

- [groans] - Whoa!

- You know, SpongeBob, we would cover more ground

if we split up.

Why don't you sell to that half of the audience,

and I'll take this half!

- Mmm, well, I was looking forward

to spending the whole day with you.

- I know, I'm so disappointed.

- But that is a great idea, Squidward!

I love how you always put the Krusty Krabs's needs

before your own.

[laughs]

- Yes, I do, don't I? [chuckles]

Zip!

[hums, strains]

- Krabby patties!

Get your fresh, hot patties here!

- I'll take a Krabby Patty!

- Coming right up!

[grunting]

- Ooh! -Watch it!

- Your patty, sir!

- Hey, Snack Boy!

Krabby patty me!

- Yo! - What?

Hmm?

Hey, can I get some mustard here?

- Mustard for the mister! You got it!

[grunts]

all: Whoa!

- [squeals] Thanks, kiddo!

all: Huh?

[laughter]

[groaning]

- Hmm?

Easy as taking money from a baby.

[strains]

- No fans on the stage. Get back to your seat!

[Tommy Walker's "Charge"]

Whoa!

[laughter, groaning]

Whoa!

- Oh, man, I still can't believe your uncle Fred

was able to get us backstage passes.

- Mm-hmm.

- Now, if I can just find Clair St. Claire.

Oh, I'm sure he'd let a fellow Gob Stick aficionado

play his instrument.

Hmm?

Oh, excuse me, janitor,

do you know where the green room is?

- That depends. Where's your backstage pass?

- [whimpering] Oh, uh, it's right--

- Huh? Ooh!

[cheers]

- He's in the band!

[screams]

- Huh?

[screams]

[groans]

- [chuckles]

Oh, this must be it!

Okay. [clears throat]

Clair St. Claire? It is I, Squid--Patrick?

- Sorry, I don't know anyone named SquidPatrick.

- Patrick you idiot, what are you doing here?

- This is my room.

Did you not see the star on the door?

- [groans] Well, where's the green room?

I'm trying to find the band! - I don't know.

Hey, I'll bet my friend Stan does.

Yo, Stan!

[footsteps pounding, yells]

- You...

- Hey Stan, hey, could you show my friend

where the green room is?

- Don't worry. I'll take good care of him.

- [groans] - [laughs]

- Help me.

- Bye, SquidPatrick! Have fun!

[gulping]

- Hey, where's my patty?

[groans]

- Yeah, over here! - I want one!

- I'm a patty launching machine!

[laughs]

- Thank you, Patty Boy!

- It was nothing.

Nothing! I'm out of patties!

Well, I guess I just better make some more!

Yup!

[hums]

- Huh? - [hums]

[hums]

Fresh hot Krabby patties here!

Put a patty in your pie hole!

Huh?

- Ah!

- Oh, it looks like I fed my entire section.

Hmm?

[moans, groans]

[stomach rumbles]

[moans, groans]

Well, I guess Squidward wouldn't mind

if I sell a few patties in his section.

- [grunts]

[cackles]

They'll never look for me up here.

Hmm.

[grunts]

[audience cheers]

[chuckles]

[clamoring]

Oh! Whoa!

Oh!

Whoa!

[cheers]

- Eww! Yuck!

- Whoa! No, no, wait!

[yells, groans]

- Oh...

[spits]

- Yuck!

Who eats yogurt at a rock concert?

All right, where am-- [gasps]

The stage!

Oh, forget the green room!

That's Clair St. Claire's clarinet!

[chuckles]

- Ladies and gentlefish, polyps and fries!

Here's the band you've all been waiting for!

You know them! You love them!

It's The Low Tides!

[cheers and applause]

- Huh? [yells]

[whines]

[groans] Oh, oh, oh!

Ow, ow, ow, ow.

[cheers]

[jazz music]

[piano plays]

- ♪ I was a lonely, lonely lad ♪

♪ Solitary soul ♪

♪ Didn't have the rock ♪

♪ And I didn't know how to roll ♪

♪ Joined me a band, singing on the stage ♪

♪ They was swooning and a-screaming ♪

♪ And now I'm all the rage ♪

♪ It's a feeding frenzy ♪

♪ Everybody wants a piece of me ♪

♪ It's a feeding frenzy ♪

♪ I can't get me no privacy ♪

♪ How am I gonna shake 'em? ♪ - Is it really him?

- ♪ The freaky fans found me ♪

♪ Man, they'll tear me limb from limb ♪

♪ They claw at my clothes, steal my shoes ♪

♪ Tear out my hair, I got nothing left to lose ♪

♪ Oh, it's a feeding frenzy ♪

♪ The kids can't get enough ♪

♪ Oh, it's a feeding frenzy ♪

♪ This rock-n-roll is getting rough ♪

[clarinet plays]

- [groans]

- Oh.

- Buddy, could you put down your phone?

You're blocking my shot!

♪ ♪

- Ah, looks like everyone has a patty.

- [burps]

- [yells] - Ow, ow.

Everyone but the band!

[whines]

Hmm. Oh!

Aha!

Must sell patties!

[beep, whirr]

[strains]

Huh?

Oh! Whoa!

- Ugh! - Whoa!

- [yells]

Whoa!

- [giggles]

There's no stopping me this time!

Here we go!

A-one, a-two. [beep]

Huh? Hey!

What's going on? Help!

Help! [garbled speech]

[yells]

[sighs] Huh?

- Special delivery for The Low Tides!

- Huh? Whoa!

- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

- Oh! Hey!

[whimpers]

- [yells] - [whimpers]

[all scream]

- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

- Come on!

- [screams]

- [groans]

Don't forget!

Brought to you by the Krusty Krab!

- The Krusty Krab. A crummy place to eat?

I didn't know they were serving us crummy food!

- Huh? [groans]

Oh, come on. [chuckles]

- Boo! Boo I say!

[booing] - Hey, no, no, no!

You don't understand!

It's not crummy! [groans]

It's yummy! It's--it's...

[booing]

[chuckles]

[clicking rhythmically] - Boo!

- Ooh, that's a hot beat, Mr. Krabs!

[nose flute plays]

♪ ♪

- Oh, they're pretty good!

- Yeah! Let's give them a chance!

♪ ♪

- All right, now for a little licorice stick!

[inhales]

- Squidward's got a clarinet! Run!

[screaming]

- [whimpers]

[clarinet plays]

♪ ♪

- I can't believe it!

This really is the greatest clarinet ever made!

And you're the greatest audience I've ever--oh!

[crickets chirp]

[groans]

Huh?

- Nice jam, baby.

- Validation?

Oh, thank you, Clair St. Claire!

Oh, this is the best day of my life!

I can die happy!

[sighs]

- Oh, no, you don't!

You're working tonight, and corpses can't collect cash!

- [groans]

- Well, still the best day of my life.

[happy music]

♪ ♪

- Krabby patties.

Get your krabby patties here.

Order up!

[yells]

Oops! Or down.

[laughs]

Top row, get your patties!

[groans]

[Gary meows]

A patty for Gary?

Goodnight.

Eat tight. Eat tight.

[laughs, snores]

[Gary yawns, snores]

["The Thieving Magpie" playing]

♪ ♪

[machine whirrs]

♪ ♪

[ding]

[sputter, hiss, beep]

♪ ♪

[ping]

[horns tooting]

♪ ♪

[machine whirrs]

♪ ♪

[engine revs]

♪ ♪

[no audio]

♪ ♪

- Huh? Hmm.

♪ ♪

- [snores]

♪ ♪

[glass shatters]

♪ ♪

- [pants]

Whew.

♪ ♪

[engine sputtering]

♪ ♪

- [snores]

♪ ♪

[funky music]

♪ ♪

[frantic music]

♪ ♪

[groans, screams]

♪ ♪

[burps]

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[squeaking]

♪ ♪

[buzzing]

♪ ♪

[funky music]

♪ ♪

[no audio]

♪ ♪

[frantic music]

♪ ♪

[wind blows]

♪ ♪

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[goofy music]

♪ ♪

[fanfare music]

[horn blares]

[goofy music]

♪ ♪

[no audio]

- [coughs]

[chokes, coughs]

Huh?

[chokes]

Huh? [whimpers]

[sighs]

- [snores]

- [screams]

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪