Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪ ♪

[waves crashing]

[ukulele music]

♪ ♪

[background chattering]

- Order for--

Huh?

both: Om, nom, nom.

- Ohh.

Disgusting!

You people eat like anima-- anima--

Anima-- Achoo!

[sad music]

[barking]

- Oh, there's my baby.

Oh, my little baby!

- Oh, no.

You cannot bring a worm in here.

It's unclean!

And some of us are allergi...

Achoo! Bah! ...gic.

- What's with all the sniffy fits out here, Mr. Squidward?

- It's not my fault, Mr. Krabs.

She snuck a pet into the restaurant.

- Oh, I didn't know my sweet little Fifi wasn't allowed.

- Aaaachoo!

- Hmm?

[poof] [panting]

- Well, your sweet little Foofoo's gotta go.

We have a strict policy.

No pets allowed.

- What a shame.

Krabby Patties are all my Fifi will eat these days.

Oh, I would have gladly paid double the price

if it only meant she could have her favorite food.

- [squeals]

[grunting]

Ah, there! All fixed.

See? "Now: Pets Allowed!"

- Oh! How delightful!

- Of course.

Bwaa choo!

[overlapping chatter]

[cow moos]

- Hee hee!

I tell ya, Mr. Squidward,

I'm makin' more money than Neptune!

Hehehe!

- Aachoo! Bah!

- Hmm?

- Hold it right there, Krabs.

[grunting]

- Oh, no! The health inspector!

- Oh, yes. The health inspector.

And I'm afraid you can't run a restaurant

and a feed lot out of the same building!

- Hee, hee. Ha, ha!

- It's unsanitary.

I'm shutting you down!

Unless you pick one.

People or pets.

- Ohh. Heh.

♪ ♪

- Ooh!

♪ ♪

- Ooh!

Oh, yeah!

I choose pets!

- Heh, ha!

What?! No!

- All right, you heard the man.

If you ain't a pet, you're trespassing.

Time to go! Get a move on.

- Wait a minute. What about our pets?

- Oh! Well, don't worry.

I'll still be billin' ya for whatever they eat.

all: Whoa!

- [retches]

both: Eww.

- Hoo, hoo! Sandy.

Your Alaskan Bull Worm certainly was hungry.

- [gasp]

Sweet jawbone of San Antone, I'm broke!

Looks like I'm eatin' canned nuts for the rest of the year.

Ah.

[animals chatter]

♪ ♪

- Welcome, little worm!

Here at the Krusty Krab,

it's a pet paradise. - Aaah.

♪ ♪

Enjoy yourself!

And don't forget to order something to eat.

- [barking]

- Oh uh, maybe I'll order for you.

Heh, heh.

- Hey, man.

Could I like... get a Krabby Patty to go?

- Sorry. Pets only.

You can try your luck across the street.

- Aww. I don't wanna eat chum.

- [laughing]

- Rawr! - [groans]

[disappointed groaning]

- Heh, heh! The house special!

- Ugh.

It's great that my pets are eating and all, but...

I'm still hungry!

- Aww.

♪ ♪

- Heh, heh.

[twinkling music]

[gulp]

- Mmm.

- I wish I was a pet

so I could eat off the floor.

- You are eating off the floor.

- Yeah, but--

I wanna eat Krabby Patties off the floor!

- The pink dude might have the right idea, guys.

If we dress up like pets...

We could trick Krabs into serving us!

Of course!

- If you wanna make costumes, I have a craft corner.

- Oh, boy!

♪ ♪

- Aaah, plah!

- Oh, construction paper. Oh, boy!

[overlapping chatter]

- Anyone seen the glue?

- [chuckling menacingly]

Now's my chance to sneak into the Krusty Krab

in my pet, Spot.

- [barking]

- [chuckling]

Hey... What's happening?

No, Spot. Stop digesting me, Spot!

Bad Spot!

Yeeoowww!

- [barking]

- Barnacles.

[accordion music]

- Into the wall ya go!

[gasps] What the...?

- Oh, boy! I mean...aarf, aarf.

- Hmm...

- Hungry!

- Hmm...

- Ooh, ha, ha. Ha, ha.

Woof, woof!

- Hmm. Squidward!

- [grumbles]

- Rawh!

- Yes, Mister--Achoo!--Krabs.

- Why don't all these new pets

have patties in front of 'em?

I'm running a business, not a shelter!

- Ow!

- Mmm. - Huh?

- Greetings, fellow lagomorph.

Perhaps you might consider sharing a sliver of your--

- [screaming]

- [gasps]

I'll just be...

[grunts]

[rabbits snarling]

[all gasp]

- Hahaha!

[cheering]

[all growling]

[blows landing]

- Pet fight!

Rah!

Aaaah!

- [whimpering]

- [whimpering]

[growling and hissing]

- Mrowr!

- My leg!

[cawing]

- No, no, no. Bad scallops!

Aaaah!

[crashing]

[chaotic screaming]

- Who's ready for--

a violent brawl?

Stop, please!

The Krusty Krab is a place of peace.

[growling]

- Yow! - Yow!

[growling]

- Dah!

[gasps] The health inspector?

all: The health inspector?

- Eh... Roar?

- But I thought you said people and pets can't eat together?

- Yeah. What are you doing here?

- This whole mess is your fault!

[crowd clamoring]

- Em, I was just hungry for a Krabby Patty.

We've all been there, right?

Plus, I, um, I learned something today!

SpongeBob, give me a bouncy C, would ya?

- Ooo, gladly!

[grunting]

[lively music]

- ♪ Pets are people too ♪

♪ Just like me, just like you ♪

♪ Yes, whatever you like to do ♪

♪ There's a pet who likes it too ♪

♪ There's a pet for people who like to run ♪

♪ And one for people who don't ♪

♪ A pet for folks who avoid the sun ♪

♪ And those who should but won't ♪

♪ A pet for people who sing and dance ♪

♪ A pet for people who cry ♪

♪ A pet for people who take a chance ♪

♪ And for those with just one eye ♪

♪ Yes, no matter what we say or do ♪

♪ There's just one thing I know is true ♪

♪ We all eat patties, yes we do! ♪

♪ And every pet likes eating them too! ♪

♪ Because ♪

all: ♪ Pets are people too ♪

♪ Just like me, just like you ♪

♪ Yes, whatever you like to do ♪

♪ There's a pet who's just like you ♪

♪ Just like you! ♪

♪ Pets! ♪

[panting]

- Whew!

Pets and people deserve to eat side by side.

- Ahee!

- Yes!

And a round of patties for everyone!

Not on the house!

[cheering]

♪ ♪

[indistinct chatter]

- Gosh, mister.

You've got more customers here than I've ever seen!

- 'Course I do!

Didn't you hear the song?

♪ Pets are people too ♪

- Well if they count as people...

[dramatic music]

- Then they count as fire hazards!

I'm the fire marshal, and you're over capacity, Krabs.

Shut her down!

Everyone out!

- What?

Nooo!

[all grumbling]

- Wait. Come back, come back!

Me pet profits.

I'm ruined.

- Hey, uh-- Mr. Krabs?

I was planning on taking a Krabby Patty

home to my Gare Bear.

You could overcharge me for it if you want.

- Eh, huh. Really?

Thanks, boy-o!

You're a good minimum wage employee.

- Yaaaah! [crashing]

Ahh, hah.

♪ ♪

Aaaachoo!

- Pah, ah! Urgh!

[tropical music]

♪ ♪

[creaking]

[romantic music]

- Aah, I'm floating on air.

A balloon ride, a candlelight dinner,

and our wedding song is playing!

This date is perfect.

- No, you're perfect, Karen.

You're the best computer wife a copepod could ever have!

Bon bon?

- Oh, I shouldn't.

- Indulge yourself, my darling.

- Thank you, Plankton!

This is truly a date to remember.

- Well, my love, you haven't seen anything yet!

For you, my love.

- Ohh, Ray Ray!

[sniffing]

Aah...

- That's right, baby.

Ray Ray is at your service.

- Ray Ray, you've got my cooling fans running on high.

- Ha, ha. Get over here and give me some sugar!

[kissing sounds]

- Huh?

- ♪ Do do do do do ♪

[yawns]

What a long day.

♪ ♪

[kissing sounds]

[angelic singing]

- Uh...eh...ehh!

Ahhh! I can't take it!

- What is it, Plankton?

- Hold that thought, baby.

I uh-- I forgot something down here.

I'll be right back!

Can't believe this is really happening.

Oh!

The Krabby Patty secret formula is finally mine!

Huh?

Huh?

Eh...

Ehh!

Hm, eh, ah, eh, eh!

Is this some kind of horrible nightmare?

What?

A projector?

You tricked me with a simulation?

- It was a test, Plankton!

And you failed!

You fail every time when it comes to our romance.

Right, so I goof up one time and now I'm the bad guy?

- One time? Failed one time?

How about 4,700,000 and...

[glitching] Error, er-er-error.

- But baby cakes,

I left to go get the Krabby Patty secret formula.

For me... And you...

You know...for us!

Ehhh?

- Listen, Sheldon.

You need to show me an interruption-free

romantic date night because until that happens

no one is leaving the Chum Bucket.

[alarm sounds]

- Aah!

[intense music]

♪ ♪

- Oof!

- You better not mess this one up, Ray Ray.

- Ah!

♪ Da da da da doo doo ♪

I think Karen's favorite "scrap electronics stew"

ought to do the trick.

[laughing]

Yep. Huh?

I guess it wouldn't hurt to have just a little peek

at the Krusty Krab.

- Hmm.

- ♪ Dee dee doo dee ♪

What a long day.

[yawns]

♪ ♪

- [gasps]

It's really out there!

And this time it's not a hologram!

[scratching and whimpering]

Uh, uh...

- [clearing throat] Plankton.

What are you doing?

- Oh, hey, baby!

Just adding the finishing touches

to tonight's main course!

- Aww, you are so sweet!

I can't wait to try it!

[kissing sounds]

- Whew! Good one, Plankton.

The formula!

Now how am I gonna get you?

[breeze blows]

- Yes, yes, yes!

No, no, no!

Slow it down, you maniac!

[panting]

Who's that?

- Krabby Patty! Krabby Patty!

- Eesh. It's that numbskull Patrick.

Hey, doofus! I mean, star friend.

- Krabby Patty.

- Over here. - Hmm?

- No, over here!

Come on.

Yes, that's it.

You've got it.

Now who's a good boy?

- [panting]

- Okay, now grab that bottle by your feet there.

No.

[sighs]

The other drink container by your feet.

- Hmm. - Pick that one up instead.

- Uh? - By your feet.

- Huh? Uh?

- Now look right!

- Oh, huh!

- You have got to be kidding me.

Right, Patrick!

- Uh? - Your other right!

- Oh! - Yes!

[laughter]

That's it, huh!

- Ah! - Good boy.

Now bring it over here to me. Yes, that's it!

Huh?

Oh, where did he go?!

- Excuse me, are you the window cleaner?

- How in barnacles did you get in here?

- I dunno? - Well, who cares?

Did you bring that bottle I told you to bring?

- Uh-huh.

Tastes kinda funny, though.

- No, I said the other one, you moron!

- Hey, you guys are doing great!

Two, three, four.

- A thin piece of glass is all that stands between me

and what I want most in the world.

Why is life so unfair?

- Oh, honey?

Is dinner almost ready? I'm famished!

- Uh, it's almost finished, my sweetheart!

What am I gonna do?

Think, Plankton, think!

Oh?

Idea!

That's it!

Karen will never know the difference!

Now I think I got what I need right here.

Patrick, you may feel a slight tickle.

- Oh, I like tickles.

[sawing]

- Okay, let's get a look at this.

- Ha, ha! That was intense!

- Oop! Almost forgot.

- Ha, ha. Ow!

- You're going on a date with my wife Karen, Ray Ray.

- Oh, but I sound like Patrick.

- Oh, no. You keep your mouth shut.

I will take care of that.

[high-pitched feedback]

[chuckles]

- Oh, Karen?

Dinner is served, my little love nugget!

- Oh, my gosh. This looks amazing!

I loves my Ray Ray.

[growls and giggles]

- And I love my Karen.

Now let's dig in!

- [giggling]

♪ ♪

- Krabby Patty secret formula, here I come!

- Ow! That's a little rough, Ray Ray.

- Ow, Plankton! What are you doing?

- Ohh. Oh, that feels nice.

Ahh, okay. Goodnight.

- Whew.

That was close.

- Yep, we had another money stacking day.

Hehehe!

Didn't we-- Huh?

[gasps]

Me Krabby Patty secret formuler?

[gasps and screams]

It must have fell out of me boat!

Ooh, don't you worry, sweetie!

Daddy's comin' for ya!

[tires screeching]

- Formuler! Formuler! - Huh?

- Where are ye, formuler?

Where's me formuler?

What have you done with me secret formuler?

Formuler? Where are ya?

Formuler?

Formuler!

Formuler? Formuler?

Formuler!

Where are you, formuler?

Plankton.

I know you have me formuler! So just hand it over!

- Eee... [blowing]

- Open up, Plankton! I know you've got me formuler!

- Huh? Who could that be?

- Uh, that banging noise?

Haha, that's just the dryer.

I thought I'd do the laundry so you wouldn't have to later.

Kiss kiss.

- Oh, Ray Ray! That's the most romantic thing

you've ever said!

[kissing sounds]

- Hmm.

The formula is finally mine.

[chuckling]

Oh, come on!

- I know you're in there, Plankton!

- Wha? - Eh, eh!

- Formula.

Thanks for holding it for me.

[both straining]

- Urgh! - It's mine!

- Sheldon?

Today made up for everything.

So I wanted to give you a little something.

After years of research, I finally synthesized the data

and came up with the Krabby Patty secret formula!

- [gasps]

A-ha!

- Plankton!

Let go!

- Whatever you say, Krabs!

- Doh! Aah!

- Who needs your stupid hard copy in a bottle, anyway

when I have a downloadable version right here?

- [groans] You jerk!

- [chuckling quietly]

- Now...

the secret formula is...

- Is what? Is what? What is it?

- [gasps]

Uuugh!

Ray Ray!

- [chuckles nervously]

- Uh, which one of us is Ray Ray?

- I am, you doofus!

- Well... well, I'm Ray Ray too!

- No, I'm Ray Ray!

- I don't care who is the real one!

You can both watch this formula get deleted.

- Eee, Karen! Darling, sweetie!

Please, let's talk about this!

[hysterical crying]

- Don't mess with date night, Plankton.

- Aaah...

- Oh. Nom, nom.

- Now this is truly a wonderful date, Plankton.

And thank you for giving me your undivided attention.

- I wouldn't miss it for the world, baby.

- Aah. - ♪ La da dee la da lee! ♪

♪ ♪

- Oh, boy.

♪ ♪