Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- * Ohh...

* Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? *

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- * Absorbent and yellow and porous is he *

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- * If nautical nonsense be something you wish *

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- * Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish *

all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

*

[waves crashing]

[jazzy suspenseful music]

*

[dramatic jazzy flourish]

[bbbbbbbb]

- [whimpering]

[brakes screeching] [overlapping chatter]

- Ah! - Oh!

I suggested having this lesson in the cemetery

because I thought you couldn't kill anyone here.

But now I'm afraid you're disturbing the dead!

[engine revs]

[splotch] [gasps] Before they bury me,

get me to a pay phone.

[muffled cries]

I need to call another instructor for you.

I just...can't... take it anymore!

[tires screeching]

[tires screeching]

[Mrs. Puff whimpering]

both: Aah! Ah! Uhh!

- Huh? You stopped in front of the prison?

Never mind! Any place is better than in this boat with you!

[muttering, whimpering]

[alarms blaring] [overlapping shouting]

[suspenseful music]

- What are ya waiting for? Step on it!

- You must be the new driving instructor.

[alarms continue blaring] [shouting continues]

Student driver. That's me.

I just don't take a bad picture, do I?

- Uh, yeah, yeah, sure.

I'm your new driving instructor.

- Great! Look at how I can tune the radio.

[static]

- Breaking News! both: Huh?

- Notorious criminal Sticky Fins Whiting

has just escaped from prison.

- Very good radio tuning skills.

Now, drive as fast as you can!

[alarms continue blaring]

- Stop! SpongeBob!

Come back!

[gasps] I can't believe I said that!

[engine revs, brakes squeal]

- Sticky Fins, where are you?

I can't be that late.

- Follow that sponge!

- You ain't Sticky Fins.

- And you ain't a chocolate cake!

Now, step on it!

- Yes, ma'am! Dorsal Dan at your service!

[police alarms blaring] [wheels screeching]

[exciting music]

- [grunts] Oh! Oh!

Crater-face! We're being followed. Lose that tail!

- I thought it'd made me look cool.

Guess not.

- Not that tail! The cops behind us!

Drive crazy!

- Ohhhhhh, that I can do!

[clattering]

[pop]

[humming]

[creak, pop] Yah-ha-ha-ha!

Oh, yeah!

[exciting music]

*

- Wow! He's driving like a psycho!

Who taught him how to drive?

- [nervous giggle]

- [sucking sounds] Good baby?

- Waaaaaahhhhh!

*

- Gosh! [sputtering]

- [British accent] I say, how's my automobiling?

- [British accent] Simply smashing.

[normal voice] You're simply smashing into things!

[low chatter]

[all screaming]

Let's see what's on the menu!

Oh! I'll take those.

all: Hmm?

[Sticky Fingers grunts]

[light music]

*

- Oh! Oh-ohhh!

- Excuse me sir, I'm in the middle of a driving lesson.

- Aah!

- Look out, you maniac!

[tires squeal] [bang]

[all screaming]

- You're going the wrong way! Turn this thing around!

- You got it! Turning around!

[drivers screaming]

- Oh, you're a great instructor! What now?

- Just...go with the flow.

[light, suspenseful music]

- Looks like they shook us. Don't worry, we'll find them.

- They'll probably revoke my teacher's license for this.

- Hey, I'm a teacher too! I teach all kinds of things.

Safe cracking, burglary, getaway driving.

- [giggles] I did notice you're a very good driver.

- Ha ha, you ain't such a bad passenger yourself.

[clicks tongue] - [giggles] Oh, my!

[dramatic chords]

- Here's your next test. Follow me.

Distracted drivers are dangerous.

I want you to distract that salesman in the store.

- I don't understand how this is gonna help with my driving.

- It's, uh... abstract thinking.

- Hey, I've heard of that!

- Welcome!

- Distract with the abstract.

[snaps]

[making silly noises]

- Hey, shapes and noises! I love it!

[SpongeBob continues making noises]

- [chuckling]

[chuckling] [noises continue]

[beep beep]

[suspenseful jazzy music]

- What's the next lesson?

- The nearest electronics store.

- Oh, you really know how to challenge a guy.

[police sirens wailing]

- Help! Help! I've been robbed!

- I've shopped in that place before,

and I've been robbed too.

[both laughing]

- What now, beautiful? - I wouldn't mind

seeing you navigate a four-way stop.

- Romance always has the right of way.

- Oh, my!

[engine revving]

[light music plays]

- Ah! Wha--

Oop.

[random sounds continue]

Whoa!

[seat mechanism whining]

[click] [mechanism whining]

[intense percussive music]

*

- I need to launder these bills--fast!

- I know just the place!

But first, let me adjust your seat.

- Ooh!

Hey! What's the big idea?

[tires screech]

[SpongeBob laughing, making noises]

[exciting music]

*

- What is wrong with you?

- I think your sponge should be around here somewhere.

- [gasps] I didn't even feel you slow down.

You've got such a gentle foot on the pedal.

- Gosh. No one's ever said I had a gentle foot before.

- Oh-ho.

Oh! Oh!

[giggling]

[gasps]

SpongeBob!

[horn beeping]

- Why's that jerk honking?

Go! Drive!

- Sorry about your gentle foot!

Hi-yah! - Hey--Owww!

- Oh!

Ooh, driving Range!

- Oh--oh!

*

- How's my driving?

[bonk] - Oh!

Doh-doh-doh-doh-doh--

- Doh! That kinda hurts, don't ya think?

- Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Pfffffttt!

For the love of Neptune, let's get outta here!

- [hums] Uh-huh. Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Oh!

[sniffs]

Oh, yeah.

- Aah! Ha ha!

[whomp]

Ooh!

Ow!

*

Oh! [dinging]

[teeth clattering]

Ooh--ow! [sobbing]

Aaaaaaaah!

[sobbing]

I just wanna know...

what'd I ever do to deserve this?

- Would you like to test me on road signs now?

Let's see... [Sticky Fins continues sobbing]

"Stop,"

"No Left Turn,"

and that one over there that says

"Falling Rocks!!!"

- Wait, what? Ooh!

[wham] Oof!

[loopy music]

[bam] Whoa!

- Mm-mm-mm-mm--

[engine revs] Oh!

- Aaaaahhhh!

[sirens wailing]

[exciting music]

*

- [gasps] SpongeBob!

- Mrs. Puff!

- Sticky Fins!

- Dorsal Dan!

Help meeeee!

- Hey, Mrs. Puff! The new instructor's been

teaching me so much. Not as much as you.

But y'know, different things.

- SpongeBob, you gotta keep your eyes on the road!

- He hasn't taught me that one yet!

Oh!

- Oh! - Ah!

[exciting music]

- Ah! Get me outta here!

[growling]

- Aww, you must be hungry.

I've got some of Gary's Snail Snacks.

[sirens wailing]

- This is the police. Pull over!

[exciting music]

- Right turn! Make a right turn!

- Aye, aye, professor!

*

[whomp]

Yes! I'm back!

[kissing] Thank Neptune!

Don't let me out ever again!

It's not safe out there!

Lock me away! Forever, and ever!

all: Huh?

- Warden, I found this one pulling up outside the prison.

- Dorsal Dan! The notorious getaway driver.

Toss him in the clink!

[jazzy musical flourish]

- [crying] I'll wait for you,

my little tenderfoot!

[sobbing]

- Aaaaaah!

Whoa!

Hey, where'd the new instructor go?

Oh, well, I still have ten minutes left

on my driving lesson.

[singsong] Oh, Mrs. Puff?

- [whimpering]

Oh...waaaah!

I'll confess to anything!

Throw away the key!

It's not safe out here!

Let me in!

all: Drive safely, and always wear your seat belt!