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1
00:00:09,060 --> 00:00:13,720
- Maybe I'll do
a cute little button.
2
00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:16,990
Or something a bit more manly
perhaps.
3
00:00:16,990 --> 00:00:20,590
[grunts]
4
00:00:20,590 --> 00:00:23,720
Upturned might be good, too.
5
00:00:26,290 --> 00:00:29,360
[grunting]
6
00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:31,760
- Hi, Squidward.
7
00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:34,720
- Great.
The idiot found me.
8
00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:37,590
- Whatcha doing?
- I'm picking a nose.
9
00:00:37,590 --> 00:00:39,920
- Ooh!
I used to pick my nose too,
10
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:43,060
until I finally
cleared it out.
11
00:00:46,060 --> 00:00:49,090
- I'm not picking my nose,
SpongeBob.
12
00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:52,990
I'm on the way to the hospital
for a nose job.
13
00:00:52,990 --> 00:00:54,720
Plastic surgery.
14
00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,620
I'm finally gonna get
the nose
15
00:00:56,620 --> 00:00:58,560
I should have been born with.
16
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:02,390
- [gasps] But, Squidward,
you're a beautiful flower.
17
00:01:02,390 --> 00:01:08,320
You don't need to change
a--ay--yay--yay--ay--
18
00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:10,020
Well, maybe a little work
wouldn't hurt.
19
00:01:10,020 --> 00:01:12,960
Hey, you want a ride?
- With you? Absolutely not.
20
00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:16,520
- Aww, come on, Squidward.
21
00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:20,290
I can get you there
lickity-split.
22
00:01:20,290 --> 00:01:23,990
[siren blaring]
23
00:01:23,990 --> 00:01:25,190
[both grunting]
24
00:01:25,190 --> 00:01:27,260
- You can't dump
your garbage here, sir.
25
00:01:27,260 --> 00:01:29,890
- Oh, that's not garbage.
That's my friend, Squidward.
26
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:34,490
We're here to check in.
27
00:01:34,490 --> 00:01:38,420
- Holy nostroly! You must be
here for the nose job.
28
00:01:38,420 --> 00:01:42,790
Let's, uh, get your paperwork
filled out.
29
00:01:42,790 --> 00:01:44,120
- You just relax, sir.
30
00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:46,720
The doctor will be ready
for you soon.
31
00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:49,860
- [inhales deeply]
Ah. This is nice.
32
00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:51,490
- Never fear, Squidward.
33
00:01:51,490 --> 00:01:54,360
Soon this dreary old room
will be so full of well-wishing
34
00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:55,720
you'll never want to go home.
35
00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:57,420
- Five minutes later.
36
00:01:57,420 --> 00:02:01,590
- [grunting] SpongeBob,
get this garbage out of here.
37
00:02:01,590 --> 00:02:02,960
I can hardly move.
38
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:06,290
- Oh, are you uncomfortable?
Here, let me help.
39
00:02:06,290 --> 00:02:09,590
- [screaming]
40
00:02:09,590 --> 00:02:13,190
- I love you.
- The bed is fine!
41
00:02:13,190 --> 00:02:15,160
- Fluff your pillow?
- No.
42
00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:18,720
- Fluff your IV bag?
- [grunting]
43
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:21,020
Enough, you buffoon!
44
00:02:21,020 --> 00:02:23,990
- Well, gee, Squidward,
I was just trying to be helpful.
45
00:02:23,990 --> 00:02:26,390
- If you want
to help so badly,
46
00:02:26,390 --> 00:02:31,090
why don't you just go volunteer
to be a candy striper?
47
00:02:31,090 --> 00:02:32,290
There's plenty of other people
in the hospital
48
00:02:32,290 --> 00:02:33,520
you could torture.
49
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,320
- Squidward,
that's a great idea.
50
00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,260
I was born to serve.
51
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:44,920
Hello, lady, can I be
a candy striper here at the--
52
00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:47,020
- Grab a uniform
out of the closet.
53
00:02:47,020 --> 00:02:51,460
- Ooh, thank you!
Thank you! Whoo!
54
00:02:51,460 --> 00:02:55,520
Ooh! Candy stripes.
55
00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:58,090
[gulps]
Strawberry.
56
00:02:58,090 --> 00:03:00,960
- Ah, Doctor,
Thank goodness you're here.
57
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,060
- We were just looking
for another physician
58
00:03:03,060 --> 00:03:05,960
to join us on our rounds.
59
00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,160
And what seems to be
the problem today?
60
00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:11,320
- [coughing]
My throat hurts.
61
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:13,790
- Prescribe him
a numbing throat spray.
62
00:03:13,790 --> 00:03:15,890
Let's move on, shall we?
- Wait a second.
63
00:03:15,890 --> 00:03:20,720
I think
I've seen this before.
64
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:24,720
Mm, yeah.
65
00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:27,020
Mm-hmm.
66
00:03:27,020 --> 00:03:30,160
I'll need one medical
sea-chicken.
67
00:03:33,490 --> 00:03:35,420
- [squawks]
68
00:03:37,820 --> 00:03:40,860
- [giggling, laughing]
69
00:03:40,860 --> 00:03:43,960
[coughing]
70
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:47,960
Hey, my keys.
And my throat feels better.
71
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:50,820
- You see, doctors,
catfish are bottom feeders.
72
00:03:50,820 --> 00:03:52,490
The dirt on his face
led me to believe
73
00:03:52,490 --> 00:03:55,190
he had recently eaten something
that irritated his throat.
74
00:03:55,190 --> 00:03:57,290
Happens to my friend Patrick
all the time.
75
00:03:57,290 --> 00:04:01,720
[grunts]
Mm-hmm.
76
00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:03,320
Try a krabby patty
next time, sir.
77
00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:06,490
They go down smooth, and they
taste better than car keys.
78
00:04:06,490 --> 00:04:09,090
- Thanks doc.
- No need to thank me, sir.
79
00:04:09,090 --> 00:04:12,990
I'm here to help.
80
00:04:12,990 --> 00:04:14,720
- What treatment
might you prescribe
81
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:16,760
for this next patient,
Doctor?
82
00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:17,760
- So what do you think?
83
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,090
Will I be able to run
84
00:04:19,090 --> 00:04:21,820
in the Bikini Bottom marathon
next week?
85
00:04:21,820 --> 00:04:24,490
- Oh, my, no.
I'm afraid you're--
86
00:04:24,490 --> 00:04:27,890
- Of course. Friends don't let
friends miss marathons.
87
00:04:27,890 --> 00:04:30,460
We'll have you up
in no time.
88
00:04:30,460 --> 00:04:32,960
Ah!
89
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:37,090
- What are you--
[both grunting]
90
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:41,720
- Most unorthodox.
91
00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:44,890
- He's a genius.
92
00:04:44,890 --> 00:04:47,720
- Thanks, doc.
- Ready, set.
93
00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:51,520
[horn blaring]
94
00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:54,590
- And what seems to be
your problem today, ma'am?
95
00:04:54,590 --> 00:04:57,190
- Sometimes
I Just don't have it in me
96
00:04:57,190 --> 00:05:00,990
to puff up
under my own power.
97
00:05:00,990 --> 00:05:04,190
- Hi, Mrs. Puff.
- No! Not you!
98
00:05:04,190 --> 00:05:07,520
[whimpering]
What are you doing here?
99
00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:11,720
- Don't worry, Mrs. Puff.
I'm a doctor...today.
100
00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:13,520
What is this crazy thing?
101
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:16,060
Looks like some sort
of weird submarine.
102
00:05:16,060 --> 00:05:17,760
- You're kidding,
of course.
103
00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:21,160
We've placed her in an iron lung
to help puff her back up.
104
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:24,520
- Ha-ha! Dive! Dive!
Up periscope!
105
00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:30,290
Load the torpedoes.
[imitates farting]
106
00:05:30,290 --> 00:05:32,220
[laughing]
107
00:05:35,090 --> 00:05:39,120
- Help me.
[screaming]
108
00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:42,260
- Hey!
[all screaming]
109
00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:57,520
- My legs!
110
00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:58,920
- Never fear, Mrs. Puff.
111
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:02,020
I haven't lost a patient
all day.
112
00:06:02,020 --> 00:06:05,490
Let's get medical.
113
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,890
- [grunting]
114
00:06:07,890 --> 00:06:10,460
[both screaming]
115
00:06:10,460 --> 00:06:11,920
- Oh, no.
116
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,020
- [grunting]
117
00:06:14,020 --> 00:06:18,460
Oh. Actually, I feel like
my old self again.
118
00:06:18,460 --> 00:06:22,720
But you still don't get
a driver's license.
119
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,360
Oh!
120
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:28,390
- Wow. I've never seen anyone
work an iron lung like that.
121
00:06:28,390 --> 00:06:30,120
- So awesome.
122
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:32,490
- We were on our way
to perform a surgery...
123
00:06:32,490 --> 00:06:35,960
- But we would be honored
to watch you perform it.
124
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:39,090
- Me?
Perform a surgery?
125
00:06:42,490 --> 00:06:45,360
- Oh, yeah,
this is the life.
126
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:50,490
And best of all, there's no
SpongeBob here to ruin it.
127
00:06:50,490 --> 00:06:54,420
- Oh, boy, surgery.
And on my first day too.
128
00:06:54,420 --> 00:06:57,820
- SpongeBob? No!
What are you doing here?
129
00:06:57,820 --> 00:07:00,790
- Nighty night,
Mr. Tentacles.
130
00:07:00,790 --> 00:07:02,590
- Wait, wait, no, no, no, no!
131
00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:05,590
[snoring]
132
00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:11,060
- Oh, hi, everybody.
all: Hi, SpongeBob.
133
00:07:11,060 --> 00:07:13,320
- Doctor,
the patient's over here,
134
00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:15,220
and he's ready for you
to begin.
135
00:07:15,220 --> 00:07:19,960
- Oh, we're most eager to see
which tool you select first.
136
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:23,920
- Hmm, mm--mm-mm--mm.
Let me see.
137
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:27,820
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Phew.
138
00:07:27,820 --> 00:07:29,160
Here we go.
139
00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:31,720
[triumphant music]
140
00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:34,490
[yawning]
141
00:07:34,490 --> 00:07:36,020
[humming]
142
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:40,720
all: Ooh!
Ah!
143
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,390
- Okay, SpongeBob,
this can't be too hard.
144
00:07:43,390 --> 00:07:46,320
Just make an incision here,
and--no!
145
00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:48,620
Shoot!
Son of a gun!
146
00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:50,760
Ah, my bad.
147
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:53,090
- I'll take that.
148
00:07:53,090 --> 00:07:56,220
- Ah-ha! Mmm, sushi.
149
00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:02,860
[grunting]
150
00:08:02,860 --> 00:08:05,860
Eeh.
151
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:09,660
He's uh, really going to pieces
over this nose job.
152
00:08:09,660 --> 00:08:11,320
[laughter]
153
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:14,220
Oh. [chuckles]
Thank you.
154
00:08:14,220 --> 00:08:17,020
Let's try again, shall we?
155
00:08:17,020 --> 00:08:19,160
[whistling]
156
00:08:21,890 --> 00:08:23,820
Order up!
157
00:08:23,820 --> 00:08:26,960
[laughter and applause]
158
00:08:30,420 --> 00:08:33,620
Yow!
That shouldn't be in there.
159
00:08:33,620 --> 00:08:37,420
Ooh!
160
00:08:37,420 --> 00:08:39,790
[grunting]
161
00:08:39,790 --> 00:08:42,290
What?
162
00:08:42,290 --> 00:08:43,420
Oh.
163
00:08:43,420 --> 00:08:44,990
- Ta-da!
164
00:08:44,990 --> 00:08:47,520
[cheers and applause]
165
00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:50,420
- [groaning]
166
00:08:50,420 --> 00:08:52,360
Nurse, sponge.
167
00:08:55,860 --> 00:08:58,190
- [giggling]
168
00:08:58,190 --> 00:08:59,420
- Thank you, nurse.
169
00:08:59,420 --> 00:09:01,720
- I can't see!
I can't see!
170
00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,720
I want to see!
[grunting]
171
00:09:08,290 --> 00:09:12,060
I still can't see.
172
00:09:12,060 --> 00:09:15,190
[grunting]
173
00:09:18,820 --> 00:09:21,320
[organ music]
174
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:22,620
- Ta da!
175
00:09:22,620 --> 00:09:26,790
[cheers and applause]
176
00:09:26,790 --> 00:09:28,920
[humming]
177
00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:30,060
There we go.
178
00:09:30,060 --> 00:09:31,360
You can wake him up now,
nurse.
179
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:34,720
- [groaning]
What--what happened?
180
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,460
- I finished your nose job,
you silly goose.
181
00:09:37,460 --> 00:09:38,720
Take a look.
182
00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:40,620
- SpongeBob, you idiot.
183
00:09:40,620 --> 00:09:43,090
This isn't even close
to what I wanted.
184
00:09:43,090 --> 00:09:45,760
- Well, why didn't you say so?
Oh, nurse!
185
00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:49,090
- Wait, no, no, no!
I want a different doctor. I--
186
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,090
No.
187
00:09:55,090 --> 00:09:57,120
No.
No.
188
00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:59,520
No.
No.
189
00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:01,860
No.
No.
190
00:10:01,860 --> 00:10:04,720
No!
No.
191
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:07,720
No.
No--o--o--o--o!
192
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:17,760
Stop! I don't want to change
my nose anymore.
193
00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:20,720
SpongeBob, I'll do anything.
Anything at--
194
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:24,060
- How's about
the Squidward Classic?
195
00:10:24,060 --> 00:10:26,290
- Hey, not bad.
196
00:10:26,290 --> 00:10:28,890
This looks even better
than my old nose.
197
00:10:28,890 --> 00:10:31,860
- Well, I did have to use
a few of your other body parts
198
00:10:31,860 --> 00:10:34,990
to re-sculpt it.
199
00:10:34,990 --> 00:10:37,860
D'oh! Look at the time.
I have to go to work.
200
00:10:37,860 --> 00:10:40,190
- But you're a doctor.
You're at work.
201
00:10:40,190 --> 00:10:42,160
- No, I'm just a fry cook.
202
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:44,760
But it was fun
playing with you guys. Bye!
203
00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:48,890
- Fry cook?
Ooh.
204
00:10:48,890 --> 00:10:50,620
- Don't be afraid, ladies.
205
00:10:50,620 --> 00:10:53,720
This sinus Adonis
is on the market.
206
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:54,620
[both gasping]
14050
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