Original subtitles

all: Behold!

We are the Greek chorus.

We narrate this epic tale

of stupidity.

[upbeat music]

*

[clear throats]

Behold Neptune,

god of the sea,

with his mighty trident,

a weapon so powerful

nothing is beyond its user's reach.

Behold the Kraken.

- [snarling]

all: Gross monster.

- [snarling]

- [grunts]

- [grunting]

- [screaming]

all: Behold Neptune triumphant.

What an awesome dude.

Behold this idiot and beware,

for trident trouble comes.

- Sorry. - Eh.

all: See?

all chanting: Food! Food! Food!

Food! Food!

- Food! Food!

Oh.

- Hey, I was still reading that!

- [groans]

- Forget the stupid comic.

We've got a situation here.

We don't have any Krabby Patties,

and these animals are trying to eat us instead.

[chomp]

Hey, who's responsible for this?

- Get to flipping those patties fast, boy-o!

Before we all become the lunch special.

- I'm on it, Mr. Krabs.

[bowling pins rattling]

- [grunts]

- [sighs]

[straining]

Oh, the toppings haven't been prepped.

I wish this lettuce and tomato would just cut themselves up.

- Let's do this!

- Yeah, cut me up good, girlfriend.

[all grunting] - Huh.

I guess I did cut up the toppings after all.

- 37 Krabby Patties!

Fast! Ahhh!

- 37 patties?

How am I gonna flip 37 patties?

Huh, has my spatula always had three heads?

all: No!

And it is not a spatula.

- Get them patties out here fast, SpongeBob!

Ahh!

- Well, I wish these Krabby Patties

would just serve themselves so I could keep cooking.

[magical music]

- Hey!

- Yay!

- Yeah!

[all cheering]

- Whoa, my spatula never did that before.

all: Krabby Patty! Krabby Patty!

Krabby Patty! Krabby Patty!

- [laughs]

- [straining] Huh?

*

- [giggles]

- [laughing]

[both laughing]

- Mmm.

- Huh?

[laughing]

I don't know how you're doing this, boy-o,

but keep it up.

Folks will pay every cent they have

to watch Krabby Patties dance.

Look at how cute they are.

- Hey. - Oh!

- Whoo! - Whoo-whee!

- We're running out of them dancing patties.

Faster, boy-o! Faster!

- [panting]

Dance! Come on, dance!

I'm trying, Mr. Krabs. I'm trying.

Come on, you, work!

- [grumbling]

all: The sponge has angered the trident.

Trouble comes.

- [groaning]

- Ahh! [angry grumbling]

- Ah.

- [giggles]

- [snarling]

Ahh!

- [growls]

[all screaming]

- No!

This is gonna cost me money!

- Mr. Krabs, I wish you wouldn't worry about money

at a time like this.

- [groans]

Right you are, boy-o.

Here, take this. Here you go.

I can't stop!

[both screaming]

- There you go. What's happening to me!

- What is going on around here?

- Ahem.

- Hey, what's this?

Whoa!

My spatula is magic.

all: Magic, magic, magic.

- This is awesome.

I will use this magic spatula to help everyone.

[humming]

- I'll have two, please.

- [crying]

- [whistling]

[gasps] I'll help you, baby!

Boing!

[whistles]

- [crying]

- What's wrong, grass? Why won't you grow?

Talk to me.

Oh. Mm.

- We'll do more than just talk to yous.

Let's see how you like getting mowed.

- Ahhh!

- There is no problem I cannot solve,

for I am SpongeBob, Emperor of the Sea.

[triumphant music]

Hey, get outta here, you pesky jellyfish!

all: Whoa, slow your roll.

Only Neptune, true ruler of the sea,

can control the trident.

- [laughs]

- So I say, "Look, Zeus,

"either you come up with more money

or Neptune walks."

- [chuckles]

- There he is, ma.

That's the man who hit me.

[sobs]

- Don't cry, baby.

Mother will handle this.

[snarls]

- Let us battle!

Take that!

- Huh?

This is dry-clean only, you monster!

- Ooh. Huh?

"Property of SpongeBob"?

- [snarls]

- Uh-oh.

[screams]

- Hey, SpongeBob.

You look so sparkly today.

- Of course I do, for I am SpongeBob,

Emperor of the Sea.

[triumphant music]

- Oh.

No! My ice cream!

Ohh, why is the world so full of pain?

[sobs]

- Fear not, bestest of friends.

You shall have all the ice cream you could ever eat.

all: No, you'll only make it worse.

[upbeat jingle]

[music sputters, stops]

- Ahhh! Best day ever!

- No, worst day ever.

Oh, my back.

all: See?

- I can fix this.

- Hooray!

- Boo!

- I think I know a way to make you both happy.

all: You really don't.

How do you not get that by now?

- An ice cream geyser!

Ahh!

Brain freeze!

I can't eat it all.

Ah, I've never been more disappointed in myself.

[dramatic music]

[all screaming]

- Ooh, I like choc--

- Oh, the creamy, delicious horror.

- Save us, SpongeBob!

Save us!

No wait.

Okay, now save us!

- Stop, ice cream! Stop! Stop!

- Hmm?

[rumbling]

[both scream]

- Oh, I just made it worse.

Patrick, I've ruined everything.

- Oh, SpongeBob, I wouldn't say that.

- Our baby!

- I'll never mow you again!

- Take me money! - Ow!

Okay, SpongeBob, you ruined everything.

- No sponge should have this much power.

all: We told you so.

- Not helping.

- Well, maybe I can help.

I believe I have something of yours.

- My spatula!

Then what's this?

- That is my trident!

- Well, take your trident. I don't want it anymore.

Whoa! Stop! That wasn't me.

all: Too long away from its true master,

the trident has run wild.

- What a jerk.

- [laughs]

- Sorry. Pardon me.

It stuck!

- [grunting]

- Ahh! Make it stop!

[triumphant music]

*

- You have been one naughty trident.

- [whimpers]

- Oh, I can't stay mad at you.

- [panting]

- Now let's see if we can fix all of this.

- Give me back me money.

- [baby cooing]

- Mow us good!

- You know, SpongeBob, your spatula is just as powerful

as my trident.

- Really?

- Ha! Not even close!

[laughs]

But it's still pretty great.

- Thanks for bailing me out, Neptune.

If there's any way I can ever help you,

just let me know.

- Well, there is one way.

There they are!

- [snarling]

[both gasp]

- Let's get 'em!

[yelling]

- [growls]

- [whimpers]